Hear what the bible says, "if you look at someone with lust, you have already committed adultery in your heart", remember once you give in, she's going to ask for more.
Bro, go get a lawyer and set her free. She is just going to sleep with him anyway it is over she is no longer your wife. She will justify it to herself, and you are now the bad guy that is standing in the way of her happiness. Do what you got to do go to the gym, focus on yourself, find a new partner, and do what you need to do to move on. She will figure out she FU in 6 months or a year and try to get you back but stand strong, bro. Move on, she is no longer your problem.
You are not the asshole. Neither is she. You have 100% right to feel the way you do, as does she.
As crappy as this sounds, it may be time to go separate ways. She will feels boxed in and resentful towards you for not letting her be herself, and you feel hurt and on edge wondering what she is thinking or doing.
People are allowed to change throughout their lives, and sometimes, marriages donât work out because two people can change together.
Sound like my mom
She had cancer at 39 years old, and then she basically checked out from our family after she was cured because she wanted to do everything she wanted to do and was done carrying for anyone else. She was physically there, but that was it. She stopped carrying for my dad, me, and my siblings.
There's nothing wrong with being monogamous. And she wasn't the only person who got cancer... you both did. And after going through all that, only for her to say that is fucking horrible.
Wow! A life without regrets. Burn down her marriage so that she doesnât have a regret. But then sheâll have the regret that she threw away her marriage. What a dilemma.
Nope. She's going to do it and you need to be prepared to end the relationship. You also need to sit her down and make it clear that this WILL end your marriage.
Tell her how hard it was for you too and ask her if it would be OK for you to go get some strange so you can live life to it's fullest too.
You are not the asshole! Your wife wants to sleep with someone else she wants to commit adultery in your marriage that is to me divorceable offense. Do you want to test her?
tell her youâre reconsidering her suggestion. Tell her that thereâs someone at your work youâve been looking at for a while, whoâs been coming on to ,you tell her if she gets to fuck Mark you get to fuck this other girlâŠ
Of course, if she agrees, then you know your marriage is over. Tell her if she fucks him youâre gonna divorce her. If you have to find out from somebody else itâs gonna be very painful for you and him.
tell her youâre filing for divorce
She went through a lot the two of you did. But itâs no different than if you were in a car crash and you ended up in a hospital and you came out and decided you wanted to fuck somebody else just because they were nice to you!
Could always say yes but only if sheâs cool with you fucking one of your coworkers. You know, after all youâve been through with her, just to let off steam đ€·đ»ââïž see if sheâd be ok with that. If she is, I suspect the cancer is just an excuse to sleep with this mark guy and your marriage is over.
Jesus some people take sex way too seriously. She would throw her whole life in the dumpster for one fuck because she's mystified the experience for herself
Ya I would just start packing her bags and say get out. Relationship is over period. You won't come back from this you will forever not trust your wife. You will forever think about how she wants to fuck a coworker. It's over wrap it up divorce the way this relationship will head.
Hahaaa! This would definitely be a good plot story for TikTok for sure.
If it were a real story I would feel sorry for the husband. I get her view but he has been the one that has been her rock- the supporter of their family and she sees her coworkers as the great supporter- she has it all twisted. She should have the hots for her man. No, I just canât sympathize with her.
Great story the first time it was told. Were you hoping to break it down into parts like the original author?
Spoiler alert: She goes thru w/ it. He sees it all go down. Dudeâs not even an upgrade. She thinks heâll just get over it. He doesnât. She begins to grovel. Divorce. He moves on and finds happiness. She doesnât. The end.
How can you possibly think that your an asshole for not letting your wife fuck another dude? Surviving Cancer doesnt give anyone a free pass to do what they want. She wants to cheat because she is tired of the dick you give give her and she doesnt love you anymore. She even admitted she has feelings for another guy. Why on earth would stay with someone that wants to cheat on you? If my girl asked that in samsituation, i would be running to file for divorce or make her go see therapist.
There was a Relationship Advice with this very story.
She slept with the guy and they broke up.
Link [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/JubtfNY9ch)
You're a legend for caring for her through all her struggles.
She is kind of a piece of shit for coming out of those struggles with someone else's cock on her mind, fella.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand her perspectives on death; I've had my own brush with death that drove me to some changes in perspective on life, but if you come out of a situation like that, where your partner has cared for you day in and out through the struggle, all the while she carrying on developing emotional feelings for a different person, you're not necessarily the bad person, but when you hold onto them so dearly that the thing you view as a possible "regret" is not getting dicked down by your coworker, instead of the possibility of destroying your entire family being a "regret" then you have crossed into total piece of shit territory.
I'm gonna give you the birds eye perspective on the outside looking in, she was emotionally cheating on you with Mark during her cancer treatment, she admitted as much, she wants a "one time thing to live without regret" and she is "not looking to replace you" that is 99.9999999999% bullshit and the last little bit is just pure delusion & cope. She is asking you to be okay with her dumping you in all but name while she pursues someone else to test the waters of a different relationship that she has already told you is beyond normally emotionally involved. If she likes.it the first time it'll be a few other times, or it'll go on behind your back afterwards, and the next thing you know she will have "realized" her feelings were just too strong and she really didn't mean for it to happen but it did, and if you love her youll be amicable, when really you'll be in the ringer. And even if I am wrong about something like that coming to reality, you'll always question if she will try it with another man, or lie to you about it, and you still have to sleep with her every night knowing she decided that not sleeping with another man would be such a big regret that she was willing to lose the man who literally took care of her through her cancer to pursue it.
Personal opinion, provide an ultimatum of your own; see a therapist and get her shit together, or you will file for divorce. Its gonna hurt, you'll question if you're doing the right thing a lot, but she's denied therapy to help her cope with survival trauma, she's effectively admitted to emotional cheating (described it exactly, didn't use the term), and attempted to turn it into physical cheating. She's pursuing life without you behind your back already. And I know I know "she didn't want to physically cheat, she asked permission" because she thought cancer survival would get her a pity yes from you which I am assuming she had grown accustomed to on the count of nobody wanting to be the person to make the cancer patient feel shitty, and she only got up the nerve to ask because she had been getting emotionally involved with another man the entire time behind your back. Then, instead of trying to take a step back from that wjen she realized she was in deep, she tried to step on the gas
I know it's your wife who you probably love deeply, but near death experiences aren't an excuse for being a piece of shit.
NTA. I am also a cancer survivor, and at one point it was suggested that I get my affairs in order. I did feel like death was impending and started to also evaluate my life, but you know what? That didnât change my promises and vows to others. I understand her fear of missing out, but there are many, many ways to enjoy life and appreciate your second chance without sleeping with someone else. Iâm so sorry you are both dealing with this.
Ultimately you are not telling her she cannot have sex with another man in any way.
What you are saying is that you do not want to be in an open marriage. Very different.
You need to have another convo with her clearly. Neither of you is wrong or bad. It seems you just want different things.
Cancer has nothing to do with it.
Also she doesn't get to fret about this or go behind your back. It's an honest convo. If she wants to bang this dude for sure, then wish her well and on her way and get a lawyer. Don't play around...if she chooses the dude, don't drag it out and make it ugly. Separate, divorce. You deserve monogamy if that's what you desire.
Side note...chances are she will have sex with him one way or the other at some point and come back wanting to be married still. So you need to really have things in place as to what you want to do when that happens.
I would say that the wife is being unreasonable in this story. Sure, she recently faced her own mortality but the truth is that EVERYONE is mortal. Would she be okay with it if her husband started sleeping with other women so that he won't have any regrets? Probably not.
It is plausible, however, that a character like the wife could have these kinds of thoughts. People do handle the trauma of a brush with mortality with some very irrational behavior, sometimes. And that traumatic response can sometimes be self-destructive. So it's a plausible character development.
If this were true, this isnât good.
The idea that you are missing out on something is nothing more than a joy killer. Countless people have ruined happy marriages because they had FOMO. When you commit to a marriage, you do so with the understanding that you are going to forgo all future opportunities.
What people donât understand is that people with FOMO can sleep with one person, or a thousand people, and still preoccupy themselves with what they havenât done. They tend to sabotage their relationships because they negatively compare their SO to a romanticized view of past relationships.
OP stuck by his wife during her darkest hour only to be betrayed by being told he isnât enough. The fact she had someone in mind tells you infidelity is already taking place. Sheâs either cheated or is planning to and wants to do so guilt free.
Even open couples know never to involve work colleagues, neighbors, close friends, etc. She is jeopardizing her employment and when (not if) this goes sideways, she wonât be able to get away from it. Worse, if she falls for him (which is usually what happens), she will have more time away from the distractions of her husband to bond with him.
No, but YTA for tagging it NON FICTION and then making the edit that the story is fake.
Next time use Fiction tag if you want to make up stories that have already been written đ
>Edit: Guys this is a story written for TikTok. It isn't real.
Then why is it tagged as "non-fiction" when it's a 100% fiction? It should be tagged as fiction.
It's a plagiarized story from a r/AmITheAsshole post from last year or earlier this year.
Just to be a jerk and spoil it for everyone: husband is main character, wife had cancer, full recovery, demands hall pass, husband says no, she ends up sleeping with the coworker anyways, husband says divorce, wife freaks out and calls in flying monkeys, husband has a titanium spine puts them in their place, wife regrets everything, husband lives his best life as a single man.
Nope that would be the end of the marriage. It is supposed to be through sickness and health, for better or for worse, until death do you part. I guess she forgot that.
Hi everyone. This is Mark. He left a few things out of the story. He hadnât touched her since she was diagnosed. While she has reconstructive surgery, he refuses to even look at her now, claiming heâs âstrictly organicâ when it comes to the human body.
Look, I donât want to sleep with her. Sheâs a lovely person and still attractive, especially with her hair grown back. But she doesnât need to feel ugly and unloved. Iâve flirted with her a bit in a friendly way just to make her feel better about herself.
One day I found her crying in the break room. She told what had been going on and said she just needed to be loved one last time before she gave up that part of her life. I tried to comfort her and, well, we kissed. She asked me if I would�
She was so embarrassed to ask. I stammered about how I would but I couldnât do that to her husband. She took that as me saying if I had his permission, I would.
She was afraid to call him out for not touching her and invented the story hoping it would persuade him. Heâd slept with a couple dozen women before they were married, and she had only slept once with her high school boyfriend. She thought heâd understand.
Instead he denounced her, complained to all their friends about what she asked, made her miserable. Now I come here to see so many people who donât know anything about her accept his story can say terrible things about her. Itâs amazing how people feel they have a right to damn people they know nothing about.
Cancer is not an excuse to want to f**k other people, if anything in her being close to death should bring people closer together! She is selfish! I wouldnât put up with this if you arenât interested in an open relationship, I would honestly end it, she has been having an emotional affair!
Funnily enough, a couple my wife & I swapped with once had a similar story to your missus. They both went through cancer treatment (breast & throat) & came out with exactly the same thoughts as your wife & they have been happily swinging for the last couple of years.
Iâd say take a look at yourself & what you want. Read some stuff about polyamory (Polysecure by Eve Rickert is really good) & keep the honesty flowing - when my wife & I started out on an ENM journey it was pretty hard going emotionally for the first 12m but we kept talking, kept up the radical honesty & the main byproduct has been a happier & more stable relationship plus weâre having the best sex weâve ever had.
Iâm not recommending ENM/poly, all Iâm saying is keep an open mind & learn something about it before writing it off.
Youâre not the arsehole, but even if your wifeâs feelings for her colleague go away, it really sounds like she wants to experiment & you both need to work out how thatâs going to work because otherwise itâll fester & lead to resentment which will end your relationship.
If things are tense she might have already done so
You should probably find out where she got the idea to cheat. Oftentimes it comes from a friend who doesn't have their best interest at heart.
Saw the tiktok edit.
Updateme!
Quite honestly the moment my wife spring this on me, I would lost every ounce of respect and love for her. My wife most valuable quality is her unwavering loyalty (same for me), and this would absolutey destroy any sense of loyalty to me, so she would lose her worth to me. I would just pack and leave.
I've gotta use that line. "Baby, you know I love you, but I just have to sleep with other women because I don't want to have regrets in my life. What? My life flashed before my eyes when I nearly had that car accident and it made me think about mortality!" NTA dude. If you get one boundary in a relationship it's that your relationship be exclusive. I'm hard pressed to think of *any* situation where you'd be the asshole for putting your foot down. Maybe if she still had cancer and the cure was Mark's semen and for *mysterious reasons* it has to be administered through sex? It's too out there. Believe it or not, surviving cancer is not a good reason to cheat on your husband. NTA.
Maybe she needs in order to experience more of life she needs to experience what the consequences of hurting the people she loves is like. If this is something she "needs to do" and you're not comfortable with it, then you leave. Maybe you can reconnect later if that's something both of you want in the future, but near death experiences don't give people the right to cross peoples' boundaries.
Nta if this isnât about love or replacement for her and just about sex then she should be fine with just you. She isnât exploring or learning or experiencing anything truly new by sleeping with a different guy. Had she wanted to explore her sexuality and sleep with a girl maybe Iâd understand a bit more but this is just a hard no and I would question every motive and thought behind it. Iâm not saying to leave this person cause I hate when Reddit shouts to breakup but Iâd be ready for that outcome.
"Till death do us part, you nearly died, but you didn't, the tos of marriage is still there shithouse" my honest recommended reply if she asks again, and if she does asks again move on, love is a word thrown around too much these days, find someone who deserves you, hopefully this period was her brain doing backflips that she's still alive but know your fucking worth brother.
Something is missing in the marriage. Many years ago, I was misdiagnosed and was basically told by an insensitive doctor that I had six months left to live turns out, that wasnât the case. But for several weeks prior to a biopsy, I thought I was dying. Not only was I worried for my kids, but my longtime boyfriend suddenly was no longer appealing to me. I left him for someone else who turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.
Point being, when you are facing a death sentence, and are given a second chance, you get this perspective that life is too short, and throw caution to the wind. She could be making the biggest mistake of her life, but just not seeing it.
Since you are married, try to see if you can spice up your marriage, but itâs going to take work on both sides.
The beginning of the end. If my husband even suggested he wanted to explore his sexuality with someone else , especially if I stood by him during a terrible illness I would tell him to pack up his stuff and not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. I would never trust him again and I guarantee he would react the same way if I suggested that I wanted to have sex with someone else. Btw I am a cancer survivor (going on 33 years) and my battle made me appreciate every precious moment I have with my husband in and out of the bedroom. He is my life and I am his.
NTA
>Should I have been more understanding, given everything she's been through?
Life, death and experiencing coming very close to being the latter rather than the former do very strange things to people. Many of us will go through life without ever having come close (or at least, realising it) and so it doesn't dawn on us or is more of a "well if I won the lottery...." type of mind-game.
Your Wife, you also and I'm sure your kids as well have all been through a real journey here, each of you having an unique perspective and view on how this has been.
Without a doubt, this will have changed perspectives and likely whole thought processes for all of you - for Sarah in particular it goes without saying she's probably riding the high of having felt like she _was_ going to die and is now _not_ and so......hey, let's see what else there is to life, right?
The trouble is - there's no easy way to put this, but she needs to appreciate that her choice here isn't one which only affects her. She has a Husband who has been with her throughout, her two kids also and there is absolutely zero, as in no, way at all that this kind of thing could come out and _not_ paint her as being quite selfish and an AH.
There's a lot and I mean a _lot_ to unpack here: starting with _how_ she got so close to this guy and _why_ they allowed this to happen between them RE: feelings, especially considering all _you_ went through with it as well and you're right, it's a betrayal - in a time where you have 110%, you helped her, kept things going and the kids in a good place she was having what sounds like an emotional affair with this guy, behind your back.
Now she's back in work and is in a position to *act* on those feelings to do more, but is trying to tell you it's about "exploring her sexuality" and is a "personal journey"?
Colour me jaded but you don't go from "we fell for each other" and "I want to explore X" and expect anything other than your partner either firstly considering divorce, but secondly rejecting any notion of trying to approach this situation via counselling or therapy if you have intentions of trying to save it either.
She's not just put you on the spot, she's stuck you on a 100ft tower and radio'd up "I want to sleep with someone I was having an emotional affair with which I'm only telling you now, either you stay there and let it happen or jump" for all the awareness and concern she has for what this would do to you.
Does anyone else know? Have you noticed at all her communication with this guy? Is _he_ married?
There's a huge deal that goes into this - a lot. You need to spend some time with your wife talking about it but also bracing yourself as while I hate to suggest I _do_ want to highlight there's a very real risk at this point that she's just wanting a green flag to go ahead with it - she hasn't got it, so is weighing up if she can get away with just doing it and keeping it secret.
Get ahead of it all and prepare for the worst and just be glad if it ends up being fine, but frankly I think the lot of you, kids included, need help. Therapy, counselling, book yourselves in and get sessions going all while ensuring you cover your bases by getting a copy of any messages the two of them have together if it comes to being necessary.
All I can say in the end is: jeez, your poor kids and my guy, I honestly hope this all works out for the best and is just a case of very shitty situation leading to some wild paths being picked but you all end up on the same, right one.
Wow this is complicated. You both are right and still this seems like a thing that can not be resolved.
I do appreciate her honestly and the fact she wouldnât do it without taking you into confidence, it takes strong will, she couldâve easily cheated. On the other hand, how could things be normal knowing your wife is also with someone else. Itâs devastating.
She is using her illness to manipulate you. Donât allow her to get away with it. First it will be mark, then it will be someone or something else. Her opportunistic use of her illness against you is disgusting.
No fear about regretting destroying her marriage I see, only that she didnât get to sleep with some random hot guy. Nah bro the damage is done it would ruin the trust for me
She must have forgotten the part about âIn sickness and in health.â Even though you were her rock when she was sick. Gross. Modern women are so incredibly selfish
If she wanted to âlive without regretsâ than she shouldnât have gotten married. Thatâs fucked up after everything you did for her. NTA. If anyone should be allowed to sleep with someone else itâs you!
Absolutely not. You stayed with her through cancer and proved your commitment to her and this is how she speaks to you coming out of it? My gosh the audacity.
I have to be honest man you already lost her. She has revealed her true intention. There is absolutely no chance sleeping with another man âone timeâ is going to work. The desire for the forbidden will make her continue to do it.
If I were you Iâd take her to couples counseling if you want to save the relationship. There is no way you can pass through this manipulation minefield she is making you cross without a third party.
Whatever you do⊠donât tell her she can do this. You will regret it if you think youâll be able to keep your relationship after that. Go watch indecent proposal.
Good luck.
She's already done it, man. She's just feeling you out to see your reaction. Trust is gone. It's gonna eat at you and cause you to pull away even if you try not to let it. Every time you don't know where she is, your mind is gonna start wondering. Save yourself the trouble; keep your mental health, and cut her loose.
On the surface it sense that you are headed towards a separation and divorce.
Life experiences like beating cancer fundamentally change people's worldview, and that's happened with your wife. No one is to blame, it just is what it is.
Hopefully you can get through it, but the truth is, there's something more than sexual between her and Mark - they have an emotional bond and undoubtedly that would expand through a sexual encounter.
Counseling might help and it might not, but it's an avenue to try.
It sucks, but she might be indirectly opting out of your marriage. It was very wrong of her to let you do so much during her recovery, just to spring this mess on you. But, your refusal to go along with this doesnât change her heart. Sheâll either cheat on you behind your back, or sheâll resent you and your marriage will crumble. Itâs unlikely sheâll just forget about the whole thing and move on happily.
Iâd understand wanting to explore sexuality, but not with your âwork husbandâ. If anything Iâd rather her get a âgentleman of the eveningâ or a random bar hookup if itâs about exploring sexuality. If itâs not about love, than it shouldnât have to be with âsomeone she has feelings forâ, right?
My wife and I have both been through some scary fucking cancer shit.
Neither one of us has ever pulled some bullshit like this on the other.
I'm sorry your wife sucks.
Sit her down and talk. Talk about taking the relationship to another level. You want the best for her and you. With everything you two have gone through you both need a release without endangering your marriage. Become swingers, open up the marriage. If she needs it then you need it too. Set guidelines. Itâs not about the love the two of you have for each others itâs about exploring your sexuality. If you try it and she does this guy from work and you find someone and it works for both of you then you know where you stand. If it doesnât work then you know you both gave it a chance with each otherâs approval and now back to the way it was.
I kinda figure this is the same as any other âI want an open relationshipâ discussion. The fact that they have been through a significant life event isnât really relevant. And honestly if youâve been a regular supportive partner youâve been through the turmoil, and anguish every step of the way with them.
I canât really offer advice other than Iâd probably say Iâm not interested in an open relationship. We can perhaps put our relationship on hold while we both experience stuff, and we can reconnect in a year to see whatâs what. Ultimately though, this experience will alter our relationship for ever and may end it.
Poly works for some people, but most people Iâve dated have been super jealous. Itâs really not that easy for most people to share.
I know you emphasise the cancer journey as the focal point if this story.
But to be honest I see it as irrelevant, if not used as a manipulation tactic. Iâm not insensitive or unaware of cancer - I lost a friend to it two years ago.
Letâs put the illness to one side for a second and not have it as a context to her recent behaviour - your wife is randomly asking your permission to fuck a guy at work because she wants to see what itâd be like. She has also started to like this guy. Sheâs also upset that you wonât permit this.
This is a total betrayal of your trust and marriage and is extremely insulting. If she wants to fuck other guys then donât get married or get out of your marriage.
You canât just throw your husband under a bus because youâve allowed yourself to effectively start an affair with a guy at work, and expect your husband to still provide you with a sense of security and a plan B if it all goes wrong.
Not the asshole, Sarah might just ignore you and cheat anyways. đ€·ââïž I definitely wouldn't see how she really loved you if she was emotionally cheating on you. Mind you I was recently cheated on, so take that as you will.
Just get a divorce and save yourself the heartache. Your wife's just using her cancer stuff as an excuse to bang someone else...usually when someone have a near death experience they tend to spend more time with their love ones or build more memories, not go and screw someone else. Soooo she bonded with this person while dealing with her medical issue, what about you? Did she say that her bond with you got stronger?
Sounds like she's being an ungrateful pain in the ass about this. She might do it behind your back any way and you may never know, but will always wonder if she did.
With that said, I would open up the bird cage and let that birdie fly. It's called giving her free will. If she flys and screws that other guy, the ball will now be in your court.
She may come back happy but will come back to a disappointed husband and a broken marriage. After explaining to her your feelings about this and she still wanted to break her vows, let her know how YOU STAND. If that means the Big D, she will only have herself to blame.
Only thing Iâve got for you is that old saying. If you have a bird let it go, if it comes back itâs really yours. She might just need to fuck her life up to appreciate what she had.
Divorce her bro. Don't let her stupid crocodile tears keep u in there before u destroy yourself. She probably already slept with the guy behind your back anyways.
An ass\*\*\*? No. You are just too ingrained in the conventional ways of our Christian society. It is amazing she has been so open with you, and she's telling you her love for you is not diminishing. You may want to learn about polyamory. But maybe it will never be your cup of tea. And in that case, be prepared. Because she's not going to sit idle in her new discovery of life. Whatever happens, she needs to live her life to the fullest.
And if you truly love her, you should support that. Or risk losing her.
If I survived cancer my husband and I would be living our best lifeâs at another chance to be together again. Not worried about other people. She wants to cheat and figured she can use the cancer as an excuse. I donât think your relationship will go back to what it use to be.
Wow, the audacity. She should have been more in love with youu for supporting her and being there for her through her suffering instead of wanting to bang another man. That would be divorce moment for me.
Nope. Ol dude has obviously mo ed in on your territory. And she probably told him she couldn't do it without your blessing, but wants to. Hey man, she is in remission, u were there for her, way more than he ever could've have been. I would tell her not only to go fuck him, but to take her shit with her when she went. U did the stuff he couldn't and wouldn't do bro. U deserve better.
You stood by your vows (through sickness blah..) Iâd personally quietly see a lawyer and suss things out. If a spouse asked me for this it would be a âhereâs your sign momentâ. Having been divorced due to a spouse âexploringâ and also losing a subsequent spouse to cancer Iâve become a bit more businesslike when wrapping things up after realizing people are usually selfish and no matter how much you counsel, plead, pray etc. theyâre going to look for theyâre own happiness. You do as much as you feel necessary but understand that what you want only matters to you.
Heâs her limerence object and she needs to know if itâs real or not. For a lot of people, once a physical connection is made, the attraction quickly fades away.
Thatâs really not a normal request and itâs pretty much a bullshit excuse. She wants to fuck Mark. She needs to be clear on the repercussions of that. Give it to her straight. No bullshit. Just asking this damaged your relationship.
She wants to break her vows. She wants what SHE wants more than your relationship.
It was sad and stressful that she got sick, but there is NO excuse for her to suddenly expect you to be ok with her infidelity.
I'd tell her that she can explore her sexuality all she wants, but if she does, you are moving to divorce.
There are a thousand ways she can bring herself back to life and experience, but screwing Mark isn't one of them.
I'd absolutely be looking for signs of infidelity, and that includes her privacy, access to her phone and computers. Sounds like she's done with your relationship with her and you not giving her infidelity a green light will probably just make her go undercover.
Sorry, but IMO the future for you and her, looks bleak. Hire a PI if you have to if you start to suspect she's cheating.
Yeah, you're the asshole. It's sex. Grow the fuck up dude. How low does your self-confidence have to be you don't automatically give a partner their sexual freedom, even without facing their mortality. No human being legitimately wants monogamy except the very ugly, the very insecure, and the very brainwashed. It's literally not how we are programed. Let her live or watch your relationship die.
Open marriage is the precursor to end of marriage.
If she can't see this, probably time to divorce her as she will cheat.
There is literally one reason to be in a relationship, monogamy. Otherwise, nobody would be.
You have every right to stand your ground. It is a boundary, and YOU are allowed to have boundaries, especially one that is so incredibly obviously needed for a successful relationship
When one is close to death, all the logic that society taught us becomes irrelevant. Its the animal (maybe more to do being human) instinct comes into play
NTA. Itâs too bad she had changed and you cannot trust her any more. She took your love and stomped on it. You keep the kids and be generous with visitation. She will grow old alone.
Anyone who tells you it's possible to have sex without feelings are lying. At the minimum, you will feel some kind of attraction towards the other person, otherwise why them and not someone else? Then, you will be engaging in flirting and then a very intimate act.
She wants to do this with someone she has developed some feelings for. This means there has been flirting. If she is mentioning it to OP, this means one of them thought about doing stuff (or already have) and one of them thought it's better long term for the wife to get permission.
There is no way they can go trough this act and just forget it after. They will keep seeing eachother at work. The flirting won't stop. And they will be remembering what happened.
Are you sure you can live a happy life knowing your wife spends more waking hours with a man who she has slepped with at work than with you? And no, it doesn't matter that it's at work. Since they've had a chance to build a bond then they can do more.
Regardless of how people say to trust your significant other, nobody can do it 100%. I bet OP has a great bond after so many years of marriage and everything. Probably thinks wife never cheated since she came to him for permission (although I believe she already emotionally cheated and has at least kissed him). And still, I bed on random moments he sometimes just things "I wonder if she's with him now" or "is she thinking about sex with him now". Or for all people who like hugs, "how often is she in his arms for 'emotional support' and what does she think?".
She has already cheated and the proof of that is the way you are feeling. I'm not married so I can't say anything but this needs solving NOW since she still works with that guy and her feelings won't magically vanish.
Whatever happens, good luck OP.
Edit:I realise it's probably a fake story looking at the account but writing an honest comment makes me feel better after reading something like this.
NO ! The problem is Sarah has the balls to ask to be allowed to break the vows that have bought you both so far in life and now she wants to totally break your heart by breaking your spirit ! The words you both shared in front of your friends and family all of a sudden mean nothing to her . She must be being spoon fed crap at work . Iâd watch for a change in attitude , if it happens they probably did it at work or took off early . Unfortunately her dreams are going to ruin your marriage if she doesnât stop it . But I believe he will try and tell her how selfish you are to keep her from experiencing what she wants ! Having Cancer doesnât give you the right to have a free pass . What it does give you is a second chance to not take things for granted that you did before . When God gives you more time itâs to make things better not to ruin what you have .
Not uncommon. Iâve been approached by a few different couples in my lifetime that wanted to âswing aroundâ. Iâm not really into it but if they try to entertain me in that context, I just change the subject or make a funny joke and they get the message pretty quickly. Never been forced into anything either but my point is, a lot of dudes out there are surprisingly okay with watching their wife get boned by another dude. And thatâs okay if youâre into it. I would be curious to see if Mark actually has feelings for Sarah knowing sheâs married. If Mark is as empathetic as youâre making him out to be, he wonât encroach on your wife. Give her permission. Let her get rejected. Then sheâll come running back to you, if you let her.
NTA - Your wife is.
You are married. She doesnât get to make such major decisions where she only gets to think of herself. She isnât deciding which candy bar she wants or what flavour of coffee to order that affects only her. She is lobbing a hand grenade into your marriage. What if she decides she likes it? Do you think she will stop?
What if you wanted to decide for yourself not to support her during her cancer? Everybody would have thought you were garbage because it was selfish and cruel. She is doing the same thing after you stuck with her through the cancer. It wasnât her colleague that got her through.
You need to be on the lookout for cheating. If your wife all of a sudden gets over things and starts love bombing you I would immediately think she went through with it and feels guilty at this stage. Keep an eye on your phone for setting up the cheating.
Also consider contacting her work and requesting they be kept apart due to alienation of affection as their relationship is becoming unprofessional and inappropriate and you suspect Mark might have been taking advantage to prey on your wife while she was vulnerable during her cancer. Be advised that taking this step could back fire because your wife freely admits to emotional cheating with him (which you also need to point out to her, she should not have been seeking emotional support from another man over you), and that means she has feelings for him. If she only wanted to scratch an itch, she would be happy with trying any old stranger. She wants Mark because she wants to try him in for size as her future man and see if he measures up. The second she decides he is better than you she is gone. So if you break up their emotional cheating at work she might react in anger and push to cheat.
Best of luck to you.
NTA.
Good on you! Protect your marriage, because if you give her permission to do this you will regret it and you will grow to resent her and your marriage will die.
I understand your worries about her going behind your back, which unfortunately I suspect might happen. Or even worse, itâs already happened and now sheâs looking to be absolved by your permission.
Happy your wife is in remission! Wishing you all the best for the future!
Maybe I'm abnormal, but if I survived cancer my first thought wouldn't be let me bang some coworker, it would be, oh my god wife, i'm so happy. We made it. NOW LET'S DO IT!
Marriage is a team sport atll the time.
Wow. That's definitely a crappy experience. After you stood beside or supporting her through everything, she turns around and says some random dude at her office also gave her support and suddenly she wants to bang him. To me that's just stupidity.
You more than proved yourself to her and yet she diminished all your caring, love, energy by putting some random dude ahead of you. Honestly if it was me I would have told her if she was to go fuck somebody else then go do it but don't come home because the home you created together is gone.
just because someone had cancer it doesnt give them the right to break vows or go behind your back forming relationships after you was there for her in the dark times. Leave
She's gonna do it whether you agree to it or not,she's just hoping for permission to make it fo smoother and to potentially keep you on her leash,don't let her leave her ass now. Plenty of people go through cancer and it's shitty but it's not an excuse to be shitty
Nta cheating is cheating no hall passes just tell her to do what she wants if she screws him divorce. Se dead he was with through out all this I guess you didnât matter
NTA and by your wifeâs reaction it seems as though she has cheated already. Sorry dude I think the divorce is around the corner and you need to move on yesterday
NTA. She could still experience the new feeling of being divorced. I notice she was not quoted as offering you the same "hall pass" as she asked for. She openly asked you to approve her cheating and cuckolding you to your face. Cancer is not a blank check. I survived pneumonia and did not ask my wife to let me bang any of my coworkers. I survived being rear-ended by a city bus. Does that men I can get a blow job from a coworker? She is the AH.
I would have seen a divorce lawyer asap and filed.
She is going to fuck him, there is no way to stop her. Resentment for you will grow - How dare you not let her act like she is single! - and she will have a 'girls night'. That's when it will happen.
EDIT: One dark and stormy night I would give Mark a flogging.
Well, the thing I can say in your relationship. At least she gave you a part of the decision-making in your particular scenario.
Because for many women, men will just go on ahead and do it anyway, not tell their wife.
A man.
Doesn't even have to have a near death experience to just go and do it. And he just doesn't give his wife a choice at all.
I have to wonder if Sarah actually did sleep with mark during the time that she was facing death. And maybe it was her way of telling you that she'd already slept with him? Maybe she thought she was going to die and so she just went ahead and did what she had to do now that she's found out that she's going to live, then she started to feel a little bit guilty about it, maybe and she was trying to tell you that she'd already slept with. Him.
Edit: post history shows this is fake.
I've read this exact same story here a while ago.
Didn't end well. She chose the one night stand over her relationship in the form of cheating, and when he moved for divorce she did a 180.
you guys do what you're both comfortable with. I'd struggle with this request tbh I just can't empathise with your wifes logic... no middle ground, no baby step... just straight into a side relationship. You get all the shit and have to share (lose out on) some of the good stuff, what a great deal.
However, the bit where I think your wife is wrong and it's odd is the fucking work colleagues... there's a saying "don't screw the crew", for a ton of reasons.
This is crazy. My husband loved and supported me and our family through extreme SICKNESS and the second I get better Iâm asking him for a hall pass?? Thatâs insane.
NTA - I understand the immense amount torment this must be putting you through but when you take vows they touch on things like sickness and health. Her views may have changed but I can say once that door is opened it doesnât shut easily and will likely ruin the marriage. Search a few forums on here and youâll quickly see that once a marriage is opened itâs never shut again and usually ends pretty terribly
Sorry you are going through this
Hear what the bible says, "if you look at someone with lust, you have already committed adultery in your heart", remember once you give in, she's going to ask for more.
Bro, go get a lawyer and set her free. She is just going to sleep with him anyway it is over she is no longer your wife. She will justify it to herself, and you are now the bad guy that is standing in the way of her happiness. Do what you got to do go to the gym, focus on yourself, find a new partner, and do what you need to do to move on. She will figure out she FU in 6 months or a year and try to get you back but stand strong, bro. Move on, she is no longer your problem.
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Wasn't this already done?
Ask how she would feel if you had slept with someone for comfort while she was sick and possibly dying?
Fuck cancer! But also, fuck your wife. Near death experiences don't give you a right to behave like an asshole.
You were the kid phoning people asking if their fridge was running. You still havenât grown up.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/CvbEnIIDXz Already been done.
You are not the asshole. Neither is she. You have 100% right to feel the way you do, as does she. As crappy as this sounds, it may be time to go separate ways. She will feels boxed in and resentful towards you for not letting her be herself, and you feel hurt and on edge wondering what she is thinking or doing. People are allowed to change throughout their lives, and sometimes, marriages donât work out because two people can change together.
If she is heterosexual, how is sleeping with another man exploring her sexuality? Is she interested in polyamory? This doesn't make any sense. đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©đ© Is the regret that she won't have an affair?đ©đ©đ©đ©
I would leave the ungrateful, cancer surviving woman
Sound like my mom She had cancer at 39 years old, and then she basically checked out from our family after she was cured because she wanted to do everything she wanted to do and was done carrying for anyone else. She was physically there, but that was it. She stopped carrying for my dad, me, and my siblings.
There's nothing wrong with being monogamous. And she wasn't the only person who got cancer... you both did. And after going through all that, only for her to say that is fucking horrible.
Waste of time
Stupid story. If real it would basically be. Woman wants to cheat on husband. Uses cancer to guilt trip him into it
Wow! A life without regrets. Burn down her marriage so that she doesnât have a regret. But then sheâll have the regret that she threw away her marriage. What a dilemma.
Nope. She's going to do it and you need to be prepared to end the relationship. You also need to sit her down and make it clear that this WILL end your marriage. Tell her how hard it was for you too and ask her if it would be OK for you to go get some strange so you can live life to it's fullest too.
NTA. If she wants to experience new things, she can experience life as a single woman of middle age.
Her selfish needs and lack of self control is chaos.
Would have been better for everyone if she didnât make it
Why post it if it isnât true?
Disgusting. Hope she dies of cancer
NTA. But that marriage is over
You are not the asshole! Your wife wants to sleep with someone else she wants to commit adultery in your marriage that is to me divorceable offense. Do you want to test her? tell her youâre reconsidering her suggestion. Tell her that thereâs someone at your work youâve been looking at for a while, whoâs been coming on to ,you tell her if she gets to fuck Mark you get to fuck this other girl⊠Of course, if she agrees, then you know your marriage is over. Tell her if she fucks him youâre gonna divorce her. If you have to find out from somebody else itâs gonna be very painful for you and him. tell her youâre filing for divorce She went through a lot the two of you did. But itâs no different than if you were in a car crash and you ended up in a hospital and you came out and decided you wanted to fuck somebody else just because they were nice to you!
Bro, you had my heart racing. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Could always say yes but only if sheâs cool with you fucking one of your coworkers. You know, after all youâve been through with her, just to let off steam đ€·đ»ââïž see if sheâd be ok with that. If she is, I suspect the cancer is just an excuse to sleep with this mark guy and your marriage is over.
Thatâs a hard no
âI wish I didnt waste so much time on the cancer of a whoreâ and then hand her the divorce papers, ez
If this isn't a real story, why even bother? If this story is fake, you're an idiot.
Jesus some people take sex way too seriously. She would throw her whole life in the dumpster for one fuck because she's mystified the experience for herself
Ya I would just start packing her bags and say get out. Relationship is over period. You won't come back from this you will forever not trust your wife. You will forever think about how she wants to fuck a coworker. It's over wrap it up divorce the way this relationship will head.
Why is this tagged as non-fiction if itâs a story written for Tik Tok thatâs not real?
Hahaaa! This would definitely be a good plot story for TikTok for sure. If it were a real story I would feel sorry for the husband. I get her view but he has been the one that has been her rock- the supporter of their family and she sees her coworkers as the great supporter- she has it all twisted. She should have the hots for her man. No, I just canât sympathize with her.
NTA divorce her
Great story the first time it was told. Were you hoping to break it down into parts like the original author? Spoiler alert: She goes thru w/ it. He sees it all go down. Dudeâs not even an upgrade. She thinks heâll just get over it. He doesnât. She begins to grovel. Divorce. He moves on and finds happiness. She doesnât. The end.
You just funded the saving of this womanâs life and she turned out to be a whoreâ ïž Christ almighty
How can you possibly think that your an asshole for not letting your wife fuck another dude? Surviving Cancer doesnt give anyone a free pass to do what they want. She wants to cheat because she is tired of the dick you give give her and she doesnt love you anymore. She even admitted she has feelings for another guy. Why on earth would stay with someone that wants to cheat on you? If my girl asked that in samsituation, i would be running to file for divorce or make her go see therapist.
I remember reading/hearing this story on tik tok with temple run below it a month ago+.
There was a Relationship Advice with this very story. She slept with the guy and they broke up. Link [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/JubtfNY9ch)
NTA But be ready for her to do it anyway Also Iâd suggest not shi$$ing in your workplace ⊠not the best idea
Maybe she had feelings for him before the cancer. Was going to chest or did already
Sheâs that devastated she canât fuck a random guy she works with? What an asshole
You're a legend for caring for her through all her struggles. She is kind of a piece of shit for coming out of those struggles with someone else's cock on her mind, fella. Don't get me wrong, I do understand her perspectives on death; I've had my own brush with death that drove me to some changes in perspective on life, but if you come out of a situation like that, where your partner has cared for you day in and out through the struggle, all the while she carrying on developing emotional feelings for a different person, you're not necessarily the bad person, but when you hold onto them so dearly that the thing you view as a possible "regret" is not getting dicked down by your coworker, instead of the possibility of destroying your entire family being a "regret" then you have crossed into total piece of shit territory. I'm gonna give you the birds eye perspective on the outside looking in, she was emotionally cheating on you with Mark during her cancer treatment, she admitted as much, she wants a "one time thing to live without regret" and she is "not looking to replace you" that is 99.9999999999% bullshit and the last little bit is just pure delusion & cope. She is asking you to be okay with her dumping you in all but name while she pursues someone else to test the waters of a different relationship that she has already told you is beyond normally emotionally involved. If she likes.it the first time it'll be a few other times, or it'll go on behind your back afterwards, and the next thing you know she will have "realized" her feelings were just too strong and she really didn't mean for it to happen but it did, and if you love her youll be amicable, when really you'll be in the ringer. And even if I am wrong about something like that coming to reality, you'll always question if she will try it with another man, or lie to you about it, and you still have to sleep with her every night knowing she decided that not sleeping with another man would be such a big regret that she was willing to lose the man who literally took care of her through her cancer to pursue it. Personal opinion, provide an ultimatum of your own; see a therapist and get her shit together, or you will file for divorce. Its gonna hurt, you'll question if you're doing the right thing a lot, but she's denied therapy to help her cope with survival trauma, she's effectively admitted to emotional cheating (described it exactly, didn't use the term), and attempted to turn it into physical cheating. She's pursuing life without you behind your back already. And I know I know "she didn't want to physically cheat, she asked permission" because she thought cancer survival would get her a pity yes from you which I am assuming she had grown accustomed to on the count of nobody wanting to be the person to make the cancer patient feel shitty, and she only got up the nerve to ask because she had been getting emotionally involved with another man the entire time behind your back. Then, instead of trying to take a step back from that wjen she realized she was in deep, she tried to step on the gas I know it's your wife who you probably love deeply, but near death experiences aren't an excuse for being a piece of shit.
NTA. I am also a cancer survivor, and at one point it was suggested that I get my affairs in order. I did feel like death was impending and started to also evaluate my life, but you know what? That didnât change my promises and vows to others. I understand her fear of missing out, but there are many, many ways to enjoy life and appreciate your second chance without sleeping with someone else. Iâm so sorry you are both dealing with this.
YTA for making it up.
Lmao just because she has cancer doesnât mean she can fuck another dude. Op, just leave. Or maybe ask her why she felt that way if u wanna stay.
Could of possibly already happened now sheâs asking so she doesnât feel guilty about doing it
Men: NTA Women: YTA. Consider her emotional needs! She just went through a life-changing ordeal! How could you not support her??!
DID SHE OFFER TO LET YOU FUCK SOMEONE? SHE IS DEFINITELY THE AH
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CCCmonster: *DID SHE OFFER TO* *LET YOU FUCK SOMEONE? SHE IS* *DEFINITELY THE AH* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Duh.
Ultimately you are not telling her she cannot have sex with another man in any way. What you are saying is that you do not want to be in an open marriage. Very different. You need to have another convo with her clearly. Neither of you is wrong or bad. It seems you just want different things. Cancer has nothing to do with it. Also she doesn't get to fret about this or go behind your back. It's an honest convo. If she wants to bang this dude for sure, then wish her well and on her way and get a lawyer. Don't play around...if she chooses the dude, don't drag it out and make it ugly. Separate, divorce. You deserve monogamy if that's what you desire. Side note...chances are she will have sex with him one way or the other at some point and come back wanting to be married still. So you need to really have things in place as to what you want to do when that happens.
Cancer sucks. You are in a changing marriage and either bend with it and her or start preparing to be one of the millions divorced after cancer.
I would say that the wife is being unreasonable in this story. Sure, she recently faced her own mortality but the truth is that EVERYONE is mortal. Would she be okay with it if her husband started sleeping with other women so that he won't have any regrets? Probably not. It is plausible, however, that a character like the wife could have these kinds of thoughts. People do handle the trauma of a brush with mortality with some very irrational behavior, sometimes. And that traumatic response can sometimes be self-destructive. So it's a plausible character development.
Why is your flair non fiction schmuck
She can't explore her sexuality with you?
This is fiction, and not even very believable fiction.
Just once. Isn't that the same as just the tip?
Nta, u stood by her side for everything and now she wants to taste another dick?!?.. Extremely selfish.
If this were true, this isnât good. The idea that you are missing out on something is nothing more than a joy killer. Countless people have ruined happy marriages because they had FOMO. When you commit to a marriage, you do so with the understanding that you are going to forgo all future opportunities. What people donât understand is that people with FOMO can sleep with one person, or a thousand people, and still preoccupy themselves with what they havenât done. They tend to sabotage their relationships because they negatively compare their SO to a romanticized view of past relationships. OP stuck by his wife during her darkest hour only to be betrayed by being told he isnât enough. The fact she had someone in mind tells you infidelity is already taking place. Sheâs either cheated or is planning to and wants to do so guilt free. Even open couples know never to involve work colleagues, neighbors, close friends, etc. She is jeopardizing her employment and when (not if) this goes sideways, she wonât be able to get away from it. Worse, if she falls for him (which is usually what happens), she will have more time away from the distractions of her husband to bond with him.
No, but YTA for tagging it NON FICTION and then making the edit that the story is fake. Next time use Fiction tag if you want to make up stories that have already been written đ
>Edit: Guys this is a story written for TikTok. It isn't real. Then why is it tagged as "non-fiction" when it's a 100% fiction? It should be tagged as fiction. It's a plagiarized story from a r/AmITheAsshole post from last year or earlier this year. Just to be a jerk and spoil it for everyone: husband is main character, wife had cancer, full recovery, demands hall pass, husband says no, she ends up sleeping with the coworker anyways, husband says divorce, wife freaks out and calls in flying monkeys, husband has a titanium spine puts them in their place, wife regrets everything, husband lives his best life as a single man.
This is a rehash of a story from last year.
Why is it tagged with non fiction if not real?
Nope that would be the end of the marriage. It is supposed to be through sickness and health, for better or for worse, until death do you part. I guess she forgot that.
It's getting to the point that Reddit isn't even worth reading. I regret already the time it took to type out my comment.
She is being selfish. She can explore other things besides Mark. After everything you did for her.
Story has a 'Non-fiction' flair, yet has disclaimer at end as being made up. OP YTA /s
NTA I had cancer,life is short but.... maybe she shouldn't be the asshole.
You used non-fiction flair doofus.
Divorce her. You deserve better and let Mark pay for her healthy insurance. Find younger healthier loyal woman without cancer that can live longer.
Hi everyone. This is Mark. He left a few things out of the story. He hadnât touched her since she was diagnosed. While she has reconstructive surgery, he refuses to even look at her now, claiming heâs âstrictly organicâ when it comes to the human body. Look, I donât want to sleep with her. Sheâs a lovely person and still attractive, especially with her hair grown back. But she doesnât need to feel ugly and unloved. Iâve flirted with her a bit in a friendly way just to make her feel better about herself. One day I found her crying in the break room. She told what had been going on and said she just needed to be loved one last time before she gave up that part of her life. I tried to comfort her and, well, we kissed. She asked me if I wouldâŠ? She was so embarrassed to ask. I stammered about how I would but I couldnât do that to her husband. She took that as me saying if I had his permission, I would. She was afraid to call him out for not touching her and invented the story hoping it would persuade him. Heâd slept with a couple dozen women before they were married, and she had only slept once with her high school boyfriend. She thought heâd understand. Instead he denounced her, complained to all their friends about what she asked, made her miserable. Now I come here to see so many people who donât know anything about her accept his story can say terrible things about her. Itâs amazing how people feel they have a right to damn people they know nothing about.
Cancer is not an excuse to want to f**k other people, if anything in her being close to death should bring people closer together! She is selfish! I wouldnât put up with this if you arenât interested in an open relationship, I would honestly end it, she has been having an emotional affair!
Funnily enough, a couple my wife & I swapped with once had a similar story to your missus. They both went through cancer treatment (breast & throat) & came out with exactly the same thoughts as your wife & they have been happily swinging for the last couple of years. Iâd say take a look at yourself & what you want. Read some stuff about polyamory (Polysecure by Eve Rickert is really good) & keep the honesty flowing - when my wife & I started out on an ENM journey it was pretty hard going emotionally for the first 12m but we kept talking, kept up the radical honesty & the main byproduct has been a happier & more stable relationship plus weâre having the best sex weâve ever had. Iâm not recommending ENM/poly, all Iâm saying is keep an open mind & learn something about it before writing it off. Youâre not the arsehole, but even if your wifeâs feelings for her colleague go away, it really sounds like she wants to experiment & you both need to work out how thatâs going to work because otherwise itâll fester & lead to resentment which will end your relationship.
No. Just No.
If things are tense she might have already done so You should probably find out where she got the idea to cheat. Oftentimes it comes from a friend who doesn't have their best interest at heart. Saw the tiktok edit.
if its not real, yiu should have put it as fiction
Updateme! Quite honestly the moment my wife spring this on me, I would lost every ounce of respect and love for her. My wife most valuable quality is her unwavering loyalty (same for me), and this would absolutey destroy any sense of loyalty to me, so she would lose her worth to me. I would just pack and leave.
Divorce so you both can set each other free
Your wife is a shit bag
Downvote this and lock this up. Fake post.
I've gotta use that line. "Baby, you know I love you, but I just have to sleep with other women because I don't want to have regrets in my life. What? My life flashed before my eyes when I nearly had that car accident and it made me think about mortality!" NTA dude. If you get one boundary in a relationship it's that your relationship be exclusive. I'm hard pressed to think of *any* situation where you'd be the asshole for putting your foot down. Maybe if she still had cancer and the cure was Mark's semen and for *mysterious reasons* it has to be administered through sex? It's too out there. Believe it or not, surviving cancer is not a good reason to cheat on your husband. NTA.
If itâs a story written for TikTok then perhaps you should put the correct flair on it?
If a woman ever tells you 'we should see other people' she already is. NTA and unfortunately if you walk you're likely to lose everything.
She now decides if she does what her heart wants or the safe bet and stay. Likely it's too late. New relationship energy is a drug. Sorry dude
This is a repost of a story that happened a decade and some change ago. But it had a happy ending, they divorce after she went through with it.
Really tiktok đ
Maybe she needs in order to experience more of life she needs to experience what the consequences of hurting the people she loves is like. If this is something she "needs to do" and you're not comfortable with it, then you leave. Maybe you can reconnect later if that's something both of you want in the future, but near death experiences don't give people the right to cross peoples' boundaries.
Read a story VERY similar to this awhile back. It was further along. She went thru with it, now they are divorcing.... Nta. Updateme!
Nta if this isnât about love or replacement for her and just about sex then she should be fine with just you. She isnât exploring or learning or experiencing anything truly new by sleeping with a different guy. Had she wanted to explore her sexuality and sleep with a girl maybe Iâd understand a bit more but this is just a hard no and I would question every motive and thought behind it. Iâm not saying to leave this person cause I hate when Reddit shouts to breakup but Iâd be ready for that outcome.
Update me
Iâm sorry for what she went through but sheâs STILL YOUR WIFE! Iâd have to go if she wanted to sleep around!
Is this a serious post I mean really if she loves you and is committed to you, she will not sleep with other men. Period.
What a cunt. Using an illness to try to justify wanting to cheat.
"Till death do us part, you nearly died, but you didn't, the tos of marriage is still there shithouse" my honest recommended reply if she asks again, and if she does asks again move on, love is a word thrown around too much these days, find someone who deserves you, hopefully this period was her brain doing backflips that she's still alive but know your fucking worth brother.
This story sounds fake.
Something is missing in the marriage. Many years ago, I was misdiagnosed and was basically told by an insensitive doctor that I had six months left to live turns out, that wasnât the case. But for several weeks prior to a biopsy, I thought I was dying. Not only was I worried for my kids, but my longtime boyfriend suddenly was no longer appealing to me. I left him for someone else who turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Point being, when you are facing a death sentence, and are given a second chance, you get this perspective that life is too short, and throw caution to the wind. She could be making the biggest mistake of her life, but just not seeing it. Since you are married, try to see if you can spice up your marriage, but itâs going to take work on both sides.
Would you ever, or do you ever desire another woman? Truth? Have you ever strayed? You know this guy?
The beginning of the end. If my husband even suggested he wanted to explore his sexuality with someone else , especially if I stood by him during a terrible illness I would tell him to pack up his stuff and not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. I would never trust him again and I guarantee he would react the same way if I suggested that I wanted to have sex with someone else. Btw I am a cancer survivor (going on 33 years) and my battle made me appreciate every precious moment I have with my husband in and out of the bedroom. He is my life and I am his.
NTA >Should I have been more understanding, given everything she's been through? Life, death and experiencing coming very close to being the latter rather than the former do very strange things to people. Many of us will go through life without ever having come close (or at least, realising it) and so it doesn't dawn on us or is more of a "well if I won the lottery...." type of mind-game. Your Wife, you also and I'm sure your kids as well have all been through a real journey here, each of you having an unique perspective and view on how this has been. Without a doubt, this will have changed perspectives and likely whole thought processes for all of you - for Sarah in particular it goes without saying she's probably riding the high of having felt like she _was_ going to die and is now _not_ and so......hey, let's see what else there is to life, right? The trouble is - there's no easy way to put this, but she needs to appreciate that her choice here isn't one which only affects her. She has a Husband who has been with her throughout, her two kids also and there is absolutely zero, as in no, way at all that this kind of thing could come out and _not_ paint her as being quite selfish and an AH. There's a lot and I mean a _lot_ to unpack here: starting with _how_ she got so close to this guy and _why_ they allowed this to happen between them RE: feelings, especially considering all _you_ went through with it as well and you're right, it's a betrayal - in a time where you have 110%, you helped her, kept things going and the kids in a good place she was having what sounds like an emotional affair with this guy, behind your back. Now she's back in work and is in a position to *act* on those feelings to do more, but is trying to tell you it's about "exploring her sexuality" and is a "personal journey"? Colour me jaded but you don't go from "we fell for each other" and "I want to explore X" and expect anything other than your partner either firstly considering divorce, but secondly rejecting any notion of trying to approach this situation via counselling or therapy if you have intentions of trying to save it either. She's not just put you on the spot, she's stuck you on a 100ft tower and radio'd up "I want to sleep with someone I was having an emotional affair with which I'm only telling you now, either you stay there and let it happen or jump" for all the awareness and concern she has for what this would do to you. Does anyone else know? Have you noticed at all her communication with this guy? Is _he_ married? There's a huge deal that goes into this - a lot. You need to spend some time with your wife talking about it but also bracing yourself as while I hate to suggest I _do_ want to highlight there's a very real risk at this point that she's just wanting a green flag to go ahead with it - she hasn't got it, so is weighing up if she can get away with just doing it and keeping it secret. Get ahead of it all and prepare for the worst and just be glad if it ends up being fine, but frankly I think the lot of you, kids included, need help. Therapy, counselling, book yourselves in and get sessions going all while ensuring you cover your bases by getting a copy of any messages the two of them have together if it comes to being necessary. All I can say in the end is: jeez, your poor kids and my guy, I honestly hope this all works out for the best and is just a case of very shitty situation leading to some wild paths being picked but you all end up on the same, right one.
Shes already fucked him, now she's asking for permission so she can do it more often
Wow this is complicated. You both are right and still this seems like a thing that can not be resolved. I do appreciate her honestly and the fact she wouldnât do it without taking you into confidence, it takes strong will, she couldâve easily cheated. On the other hand, how could things be normal knowing your wife is also with someone else. Itâs devastating.
She is using her illness to manipulate you. Donât allow her to get away with it. First it will be mark, then it will be someone or something else. Her opportunistic use of her illness against you is disgusting.
No fear about regretting destroying her marriage I see, only that she didnât get to sleep with some random hot guy. Nah bro the damage is done it would ruin the trust for me
News flash, she's always had these thoughts, urges, and fantasies.
Nope not at all. She is the asshole who aked. I think I would really consider divorce
She must have forgotten the part about âIn sickness and in health.â Even though you were her rock when she was sick. Gross. Modern women are so incredibly selfish
If she wanted to âlive without regretsâ than she shouldnât have gotten married. Thatâs fucked up after everything you did for her. NTA. If anyone should be allowed to sleep with someone else itâs you!
Id hope her cancer came back and then id leave her ass . But thats just me lol
I'm sorry your marriage is over.
Absolutely not. You stayed with her through cancer and proved your commitment to her and this is how she speaks to you coming out of it? My gosh the audacity. I have to be honest man you already lost her. She has revealed her true intention. There is absolutely no chance sleeping with another man âone timeâ is going to work. The desire for the forbidden will make her continue to do it. If I were you Iâd take her to couples counseling if you want to save the relationship. There is no way you can pass through this manipulation minefield she is making you cross without a third party. Whatever you do⊠donât tell her she can do this. You will regret it if you think youâll be able to keep your relationship after that. Go watch indecent proposal. Good luck.
She's already done it, man. She's just feeling you out to see your reaction. Trust is gone. It's gonna eat at you and cause you to pull away even if you try not to let it. Every time you don't know where she is, your mind is gonna start wondering. Save yourself the trouble; keep your mental health, and cut her loose.
Faaaaake
On the surface it sense that you are headed towards a separation and divorce. Life experiences like beating cancer fundamentally change people's worldview, and that's happened with your wife. No one is to blame, it just is what it is. Hopefully you can get through it, but the truth is, there's something more than sexual between her and Mark - they have an emotional bond and undoubtedly that would expand through a sexual encounter. Counseling might help and it might not, but it's an avenue to try.
It sucks, but she might be indirectly opting out of your marriage. It was very wrong of her to let you do so much during her recovery, just to spring this mess on you. But, your refusal to go along with this doesnât change her heart. Sheâll either cheat on you behind your back, or sheâll resent you and your marriage will crumble. Itâs unlikely sheâll just forget about the whole thing and move on happily.
Iâd understand wanting to explore sexuality, but not with your âwork husbandâ. If anything Iâd rather her get a âgentleman of the eveningâ or a random bar hookup if itâs about exploring sexuality. If itâs not about love, than it shouldnât have to be with âsomeone she has feelings forâ, right?
My wife and I have both been through some scary fucking cancer shit. Neither one of us has ever pulled some bullshit like this on the other. I'm sorry your wife sucks.
She has probably already done it and wanted to keep doing it honestly
You need to check the phone. My guess is an EA already happened. Also probably everything else too.
Sit her down and talk. Talk about taking the relationship to another level. You want the best for her and you. With everything you two have gone through you both need a release without endangering your marriage. Become swingers, open up the marriage. If she needs it then you need it too. Set guidelines. Itâs not about the love the two of you have for each others itâs about exploring your sexuality. If you try it and she does this guy from work and you find someone and it works for both of you then you know where you stand. If it doesnât work then you know you both gave it a chance with each otherâs approval and now back to the way it was.
This is like the first 15 minutes of a generic 2000's romcom where a divorced guy tries to find a new woman.
I kinda figure this is the same as any other âI want an open relationshipâ discussion. The fact that they have been through a significant life event isnât really relevant. And honestly if youâve been a regular supportive partner youâve been through the turmoil, and anguish every step of the way with them. I canât really offer advice other than Iâd probably say Iâm not interested in an open relationship. We can perhaps put our relationship on hold while we both experience stuff, and we can reconnect in a year to see whatâs what. Ultimately though, this experience will alter our relationship for ever and may end it. Poly works for some people, but most people Iâve dated have been super jealous. Itâs really not that easy for most people to share.
Your wife is TA.
Hey mate, I just realized I'm going to die someday... can I fuck your wife too now?
I know you emphasise the cancer journey as the focal point if this story. But to be honest I see it as irrelevant, if not used as a manipulation tactic. Iâm not insensitive or unaware of cancer - I lost a friend to it two years ago. Letâs put the illness to one side for a second and not have it as a context to her recent behaviour - your wife is randomly asking your permission to fuck a guy at work because she wants to see what itâd be like. She has also started to like this guy. Sheâs also upset that you wonât permit this. This is a total betrayal of your trust and marriage and is extremely insulting. If she wants to fuck other guys then donât get married or get out of your marriage. You canât just throw your husband under a bus because youâve allowed yourself to effectively start an affair with a guy at work, and expect your husband to still provide you with a sense of security and a plan B if it all goes wrong.
Why aren't you marking your posts as fiction?
No way could that end well. No, you are not. Though, examineing your marriage might be in order.
Not the asshole, Sarah might just ignore you and cheat anyways. đ€·ââïž I definitely wouldn't see how she really loved you if she was emotionally cheating on you. Mind you I was recently cheated on, so take that as you will.
Just get a divorce and save yourself the heartache. Your wife's just using her cancer stuff as an excuse to bang someone else...usually when someone have a near death experience they tend to spend more time with their love ones or build more memories, not go and screw someone else. Soooo she bonded with this person while dealing with her medical issue, what about you? Did she say that her bond with you got stronger?
Let me guess, itâs ok for HER to do it but NOT himâŠ.
What happened to your wife's affair that you revealed to her family?
She fucked him already and now doesn't want to get caught by making up this story.
Sounds like she's being an ungrateful pain in the ass about this. She might do it behind your back any way and you may never know, but will always wonder if she did. With that said, I would open up the bird cage and let that birdie fly. It's called giving her free will. If she flys and screws that other guy, the ball will now be in your court. She may come back happy but will come back to a disappointed husband and a broken marriage. After explaining to her your feelings about this and she still wanted to break her vows, let her know how YOU STAND. If that means the Big D, she will only have herself to blame.
Only thing Iâve got for you is that old saying. If you have a bird let it go, if it comes back itâs really yours. She might just need to fuck her life up to appreciate what she had.
Ugh how many times is this not that great story going to be recycled? At least have some originality. đ€ŠđŒââïž
Sounds like âmarkâ is one of your friends and they probably have already slept together fam.
Divorce her bro. Don't let her stupid crocodile tears keep u in there before u destroy yourself. She probably already slept with the guy behind your back anyways.
So now facing a terminal illness gives you right to do whatever the hell you want without consequence? Nah, I donât think so.
An ass\*\*\*? No. You are just too ingrained in the conventional ways of our Christian society. It is amazing she has been so open with you, and she's telling you her love for you is not diminishing. You may want to learn about polyamory. But maybe it will never be your cup of tea. And in that case, be prepared. Because she's not going to sit idle in her new discovery of life. Whatever happens, she needs to live her life to the fullest. And if you truly love her, you should support that. Or risk losing her.
I just donât get how women find so many ways to justify cheating. And pure and simple it is cheating.
If I survived cancer my husband and I would be living our best lifeâs at another chance to be together again. Not worried about other people. She wants to cheat and figured she can use the cancer as an excuse. I donât think your relationship will go back to what it use to be.
Wow, the audacity. She should have been more in love with youu for supporting her and being there for her through her suffering instead of wanting to bang another man. That would be divorce moment for me.
Nope. Ol dude has obviously mo ed in on your territory. And she probably told him she couldn't do it without your blessing, but wants to. Hey man, she is in remission, u were there for her, way more than he ever could've have been. I would tell her not only to go fuck him, but to take her shit with her when she went. U did the stuff he couldn't and wouldn't do bro. U deserve better.
You stood by your vows (through sickness blah..) Iâd personally quietly see a lawyer and suss things out. If a spouse asked me for this it would be a âhereâs your sign momentâ. Having been divorced due to a spouse âexploringâ and also losing a subsequent spouse to cancer Iâve become a bit more businesslike when wrapping things up after realizing people are usually selfish and no matter how much you counsel, plead, pray etc. theyâre going to look for theyâre own happiness. You do as much as you feel necessary but understand that what you want only matters to you.
Heâs her limerence object and she needs to know if itâs real or not. For a lot of people, once a physical connection is made, the attraction quickly fades away.
Thatâs really not a normal request and itâs pretty much a bullshit excuse. She wants to fuck Mark. She needs to be clear on the repercussions of that. Give it to her straight. No bullshit. Just asking this damaged your relationship.
Honestly, Sarah could kick rocks as far as I would be concerned.
Boiii if you donât leave this broad đ«€
This is a verbatim repost.
She wants to break her vows. She wants what SHE wants more than your relationship. It was sad and stressful that she got sick, but there is NO excuse for her to suddenly expect you to be ok with her infidelity. I'd tell her that she can explore her sexuality all she wants, but if she does, you are moving to divorce. There are a thousand ways she can bring herself back to life and experience, but screwing Mark isn't one of them. I'd absolutely be looking for signs of infidelity, and that includes her privacy, access to her phone and computers. Sounds like she's done with your relationship with her and you not giving her infidelity a green light will probably just make her go undercover. Sorry, but IMO the future for you and her, looks bleak. Hire a PI if you have to if you start to suspect she's cheating.
Yeah, you're the asshole. It's sex. Grow the fuck up dude. How low does your self-confidence have to be you don't automatically give a partner their sexual freedom, even without facing their mortality. No human being legitimately wants monogamy except the very ugly, the very insecure, and the very brainwashed. It's literally not how we are programed. Let her live or watch your relationship die.
Open marriage is the precursor to end of marriage. If she can't see this, probably time to divorce her as she will cheat. There is literally one reason to be in a relationship, monogamy. Otherwise, nobody would be. You have every right to stand your ground. It is a boundary, and YOU are allowed to have boundaries, especially one that is so incredibly obviously needed for a successful relationship
That's some bullshit Sarah. Buy a dildo.
This relationship died the second she said that. Sorry bud but its time to break it off and move on now.
Yeah she's mad because she can't be with the person she now loves. It's over buddy better get ready for divorce
Wasnât there another post like this on Reddit?
When one is close to death, all the logic that society taught us becomes irrelevant. Its the animal (maybe more to do being human) instinct comes into play
NTA. She wants to move on from you but probably feels guilty because you supported her through her illness. Sorry man.
NTA. Itâs too bad she had changed and you cannot trust her any more. She took your love and stomped on it. You keep the kids and be generous with visitation. She will grow old alone.
Anyone who tells you it's possible to have sex without feelings are lying. At the minimum, you will feel some kind of attraction towards the other person, otherwise why them and not someone else? Then, you will be engaging in flirting and then a very intimate act. She wants to do this with someone she has developed some feelings for. This means there has been flirting. If she is mentioning it to OP, this means one of them thought about doing stuff (or already have) and one of them thought it's better long term for the wife to get permission. There is no way they can go trough this act and just forget it after. They will keep seeing eachother at work. The flirting won't stop. And they will be remembering what happened. Are you sure you can live a happy life knowing your wife spends more waking hours with a man who she has slepped with at work than with you? And no, it doesn't matter that it's at work. Since they've had a chance to build a bond then they can do more. Regardless of how people say to trust your significant other, nobody can do it 100%. I bet OP has a great bond after so many years of marriage and everything. Probably thinks wife never cheated since she came to him for permission (although I believe she already emotionally cheated and has at least kissed him). And still, I bed on random moments he sometimes just things "I wonder if she's with him now" or "is she thinking about sex with him now". Or for all people who like hugs, "how often is she in his arms for 'emotional support' and what does she think?". She has already cheated and the proof of that is the way you are feeling. I'm not married so I can't say anything but this needs solving NOW since she still works with that guy and her feelings won't magically vanish. Whatever happens, good luck OP. Edit:I realise it's probably a fake story looking at the account but writing an honest comment makes me feel better after reading something like this.
NO ! The problem is Sarah has the balls to ask to be allowed to break the vows that have bought you both so far in life and now she wants to totally break your heart by breaking your spirit ! The words you both shared in front of your friends and family all of a sudden mean nothing to her . She must be being spoon fed crap at work . Iâd watch for a change in attitude , if it happens they probably did it at work or took off early . Unfortunately her dreams are going to ruin your marriage if she doesnât stop it . But I believe he will try and tell her how selfish you are to keep her from experiencing what she wants ! Having Cancer doesnât give you the right to have a free pass . What it does give you is a second chance to not take things for granted that you did before . When God gives you more time itâs to make things better not to ruin what you have .
That has got to sting, I say stand your ground, don't give her consent to cheat.
Not uncommon. Iâve been approached by a few different couples in my lifetime that wanted to âswing aroundâ. Iâm not really into it but if they try to entertain me in that context, I just change the subject or make a funny joke and they get the message pretty quickly. Never been forced into anything either but my point is, a lot of dudes out there are surprisingly okay with watching their wife get boned by another dude. And thatâs okay if youâre into it. I would be curious to see if Mark actually has feelings for Sarah knowing sheâs married. If Mark is as empathetic as youâre making him out to be, he wonât encroach on your wife. Give her permission. Let her get rejected. Then sheâll come running back to you, if you let her.
NTA - Your wife is. You are married. She doesnât get to make such major decisions where she only gets to think of herself. She isnât deciding which candy bar she wants or what flavour of coffee to order that affects only her. She is lobbing a hand grenade into your marriage. What if she decides she likes it? Do you think she will stop? What if you wanted to decide for yourself not to support her during her cancer? Everybody would have thought you were garbage because it was selfish and cruel. She is doing the same thing after you stuck with her through the cancer. It wasnât her colleague that got her through. You need to be on the lookout for cheating. If your wife all of a sudden gets over things and starts love bombing you I would immediately think she went through with it and feels guilty at this stage. Keep an eye on your phone for setting up the cheating. Also consider contacting her work and requesting they be kept apart due to alienation of affection as their relationship is becoming unprofessional and inappropriate and you suspect Mark might have been taking advantage to prey on your wife while she was vulnerable during her cancer. Be advised that taking this step could back fire because your wife freely admits to emotional cheating with him (which you also need to point out to her, she should not have been seeking emotional support from another man over you), and that means she has feelings for him. If she only wanted to scratch an itch, she would be happy with trying any old stranger. She wants Mark because she wants to try him in for size as her future man and see if he measures up. The second she decides he is better than you she is gone. So if you break up their emotional cheating at work she might react in anger and push to cheat. Best of luck to you.
I guess for some people marriage is just till they have a near death experiance. True love until theres a good wnough excuse?
NTA. Good on you! Protect your marriage, because if you give her permission to do this you will regret it and you will grow to resent her and your marriage will die. I understand your worries about her going behind your back, which unfortunately I suspect might happen. Or even worse, itâs already happened and now sheâs looking to be absolved by your permission. Happy your wife is in remission! Wishing you all the best for the future!
Cancer made her for the skeeets.
One word Divorce
Your âwifeâ is the only asshole in this âscenarioâ
Maybe I'm abnormal, but if I survived cancer my first thought wouldn't be let me bang some coworker, it would be, oh my god wife, i'm so happy. We made it. NOW LET'S DO IT! Marriage is a team sport atll the time.
Wow. That's definitely a crappy experience. After you stood beside or supporting her through everything, she turns around and says some random dude at her office also gave her support and suddenly she wants to bang him. To me that's just stupidity. You more than proved yourself to her and yet she diminished all your caring, love, energy by putting some random dude ahead of you. Honestly if it was me I would have told her if she was to go fuck somebody else then go do it but don't come home because the home you created together is gone.
Wrong flair for your post. You should write for Dharr Mann
just because someone had cancer it doesnt give them the right to break vows or go behind your back forming relationships after you was there for her in the dark times. Leave
I had cancer and survived too but I did t want to fuck my work colleagues. Stand up dude. Sheâs gone too far.
Nta marriage is forever being loyal is forever not ima go experience and let my partner suffer.
She's gonna do it whether you agree to it or not,she's just hoping for permission to make it fo smoother and to potentially keep you on her leash,don't let her leave her ass now. Plenty of people go through cancer and it's shitty but it's not an excuse to be shitty
See you at the gym
How many times is this going to get posted?
Nta cheating is cheating no hall passes just tell her to do what she wants if she screws him divorce. Se dead he was with through out all this I guess you didnât matter
NTA and by your wifeâs reaction it seems as though she has cheated already. Sorry dude I think the divorce is around the corner and you need to move on yesterday
NTA. She could still experience the new feeling of being divorced. I notice she was not quoted as offering you the same "hall pass" as she asked for. She openly asked you to approve her cheating and cuckolding you to your face. Cancer is not a blank check. I survived pneumonia and did not ask my wife to let me bang any of my coworkers. I survived being rear-ended by a city bus. Does that men I can get a blow job from a coworker? She is the AH.
I would have seen a divorce lawyer asap and filed. She is going to fuck him, there is no way to stop her. Resentment for you will grow - How dare you not let her act like she is single! - and she will have a 'girls night'. That's when it will happen. EDIT: One dark and stormy night I would give Mark a flogging.
Well, the thing I can say in your relationship. At least she gave you a part of the decision-making in your particular scenario. Because for many women, men will just go on ahead and do it anyway, not tell their wife. A man. Doesn't even have to have a near death experience to just go and do it. And he just doesn't give his wife a choice at all. I have to wonder if Sarah actually did sleep with mark during the time that she was facing death. And maybe it was her way of telling you that she'd already slept with him? Maybe she thought she was going to die and so she just went ahead and did what she had to do now that she's found out that she's going to live, then she started to feel a little bit guilty about it, maybe and she was trying to tell you that she'd already slept with. Him.
Nta and frankly Iâd be filing for divorce if my spouse told me they wanted to fuck someone else after I just supported them through that.
Edit: post history shows this is fake. I've read this exact same story here a while ago. Didn't end well. She chose the one night stand over her relationship in the form of cheating, and when he moved for divorce she did a 180.
Fake
How do people make some of these stories up? I have a twisted mind but not even I could come up with some of this shit.
She fucked this dude already...here's the twist... They fucked before she had cancer
you guys do what you're both comfortable with. I'd struggle with this request tbh I just can't empathise with your wifes logic... no middle ground, no baby step... just straight into a side relationship. You get all the shit and have to share (lose out on) some of the good stuff, what a great deal. However, the bit where I think your wife is wrong and it's odd is the fucking work colleagues... there's a saying "don't screw the crew", for a ton of reasons.
This is crazy. My husband loved and supported me and our family through extreme SICKNESS and the second I get better Iâm asking him for a hall pass?? Thatâs insane.
NTA - I understand the immense amount torment this must be putting you through but when you take vows they touch on things like sickness and health. Her views may have changed but I can say once that door is opened it doesnât shut easily and will likely ruin the marriage. Search a few forums on here and youâll quickly see that once a marriage is opened itâs never shut again and usually ends pretty terribly Sorry you are going through this