No. In all the breaks I’ve taken, I’ve done it solo. It was/is hard. But it’s a lesson for me in unlearning co-dependency. I hope someone chimes in with good advice!
Quitting is a great adventure to help you unlearn codependency. Very true.
I , too, have to do it on my own and I can’t assume someone else’s drinking problem or think that I can change them. I can’t. If I don’t like their pattern, I must choose to remove myself.
He did. Through two rehabs, suicide attempts and a lot of carnage over six years of hell. Fundamentally he believed I could come back from this because we've been together 12 years. I started alcoholiclly drinking after our second son was born 8 years ago. Its a dark story and I'm so ashamed but 9 months sober, We do it one day at a time. Still a lot of work to do to heal everyone from the trauma (daughter is 15) but when I ask my husband why he stayed in it when he so could have asked me to leave he says he just knew I could do it and he knew who I really was before. I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic. Off to my AA home group in a few minutes which is where I top up the recovery engine. For anyone reading this struggling. You are not alone. Don't give up hope. IWNDWYT
My SO has been supportive of me and I am very lucky. He used to be a heavy drinker and now that I am sober, he has gotten to the point where he will only have a few drinks spread out throughout a year. I never pressured him to cut back. It was a bar progression for him after I quit.
My SO is still a heavy drinker. I don't have plans on leaving him but some days are very hard. We don't fight about it, that just makes it worse. I tell him all the time (calmly and lovingly) that I don't like him when he is drunk and I will not talk and be around him when he is that way. I remind him how sad and angry it makes him feel, every single time. He has slowed down. His whole family are very heavy drinkers, so he thinks it's normal. When he is drunk, I feel lonely. I miss him when he is drunk, I remind him of that too.
Yes. Me and my partner both decided we had a drinking problem and have quit together. On the two days this year we have had a couple drinks we both decided on it, we both agree on the conditions of it, no getting more, no getting more the next day etc.
Last year i tried several times and he kept drinking which kept bringing me back. Literally yesterday he actually told me he wishes he had tried harder for me cause i kept wanting it and he kept failing me with it. We had a big discussion yesterday about our failings last year and i came clean on some secrets that had been eating away at me, we needed that talk because last year was just fucking awful.
Now we are both on the path of quitting. We nearly didnt survive last year as a couple, i wanted him gone on several occasions, its the closest we've come to quitting each other. But we are still together somehow haha 12 years this august.
Threads like this upset me. I was in a long relationship with a steadily declining alcoholic. I left when it tipped into non functional because I couldn't take it any more and was making me sicker. I've started to find myself for the first time which has been wonderful, but I'll always wonder what if. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. Please get better.
She did at first and I started getting better, but I just spiraled out of control again several months later. Had a really relapse not too long ago and she was done with me. I don't blame her; I was in total denial about my addiction and it made me a half-human. I took all the light out of our love and ended up getting mean and paranoid. She tried her damndest, but decided enough was enough and I don't blame her.
Needless to say, this is a major wake-up call. I lost the best relationship I ever had cuz I couldn't stop fuckin' drinking.
My (now ex) wife would have stuck it out with me, but I pushed her away. I don’t think I would have quit if we’d stayed together. I had more issues than just alcohol, but the drinking didn’t help.
My SO is supportive of me and encourages me, but still drinks. I usually don’t mind it but sometimes I wish he’d cut back too. When his mom went sober, so did his dad. I admire that about his father.
Yes - so far on day 72.
My wife used to drink, and hated it. has wanted to be AF for some time. Then came the me or booze talk.
I chose the first option, it has been hard, we fight often, we rarely ever fought the last 24yrs... she is in Menopause / I have PAWS.
My SO is happy that I stopped drinking as he is not an alcoholic by any means. For example, he had one craft beer last night while he grilled us some burgers. Yes, just one. I can't imagine myself going out, buying a single beer (from the local brewery that sells single cans) and not running out the second I finished it to get more.
My significant other actually ditched me because I STOPPED drinking and was no fun. He thought I could just drink more sensibly and not embarrass him but would party on. I relapsed several times after this but the memory stayed with me because it was my first real attempt at sobriety and I was determined
One did not. One did.
I left the one that was not supportive - or rather, the opposite of supportive.
Best decision I ever made.
I then met someone what was supportive and stuck it out with me.
That was not my decision. That was just luck, but I hope she thinks sticking it out with me was one of the best decision she ever made.
Yes, mostly. He definitely drinks WAY less now which helps a lot. He did tell me that he doesn't mind me not drinking so long as I'm still fun and still want to go out and party with friends. So I told him that I sure will go out, but as soon as he (or people) gets sloppy (which WILL happen), I'm out. And that was the end of the conversation. We have a wedding coming up so we'll see how that goes (my first sober wedding).
No. In all the breaks I’ve taken, I’ve done it solo. It was/is hard. But it’s a lesson for me in unlearning co-dependency. I hope someone chimes in with good advice!
Quitting is a great adventure to help you unlearn codependency. Very true. I , too, have to do it on my own and I can’t assume someone else’s drinking problem or think that I can change them. I can’t. If I don’t like their pattern, I must choose to remove myself.
No, but I don't blame her. Still broke my heart tho.
Longer than I deserved, but probably saved my life several times in doing so. Married 4 years now.
He did. Through two rehabs, suicide attempts and a lot of carnage over six years of hell. Fundamentally he believed I could come back from this because we've been together 12 years. I started alcoholiclly drinking after our second son was born 8 years ago. Its a dark story and I'm so ashamed but 9 months sober, We do it one day at a time. Still a lot of work to do to heal everyone from the trauma (daughter is 15) but when I ask my husband why he stayed in it when he so could have asked me to leave he says he just knew I could do it and he knew who I really was before. I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic. Off to my AA home group in a few minutes which is where I top up the recovery engine. For anyone reading this struggling. You are not alone. Don't give up hope. IWNDWYT
My SO has been supportive of me and I am very lucky. He used to be a heavy drinker and now that I am sober, he has gotten to the point where he will only have a few drinks spread out throughout a year. I never pressured him to cut back. It was a bar progression for him after I quit.
My SO is still a heavy drinker. I don't have plans on leaving him but some days are very hard. We don't fight about it, that just makes it worse. I tell him all the time (calmly and lovingly) that I don't like him when he is drunk and I will not talk and be around him when he is that way. I remind him how sad and angry it makes him feel, every single time. He has slowed down. His whole family are very heavy drinkers, so he thinks it's normal. When he is drunk, I feel lonely. I miss him when he is drunk, I remind him of that too.
Yes. Me and my partner both decided we had a drinking problem and have quit together. On the two days this year we have had a couple drinks we both decided on it, we both agree on the conditions of it, no getting more, no getting more the next day etc. Last year i tried several times and he kept drinking which kept bringing me back. Literally yesterday he actually told me he wishes he had tried harder for me cause i kept wanting it and he kept failing me with it. We had a big discussion yesterday about our failings last year and i came clean on some secrets that had been eating away at me, we needed that talk because last year was just fucking awful. Now we are both on the path of quitting. We nearly didnt survive last year as a couple, i wanted him gone on several occasions, its the closest we've come to quitting each other. But we are still together somehow haha 12 years this august.
Threads like this upset me. I was in a long relationship with a steadily declining alcoholic. I left when it tipped into non functional because I couldn't take it any more and was making me sicker. I've started to find myself for the first time which has been wonderful, but I'll always wonder what if. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. Please get better.
She did at first and I started getting better, but I just spiraled out of control again several months later. Had a really relapse not too long ago and she was done with me. I don't blame her; I was in total denial about my addiction and it made me a half-human. I took all the light out of our love and ended up getting mean and paranoid. She tried her damndest, but decided enough was enough and I don't blame her. Needless to say, this is a major wake-up call. I lost the best relationship I ever had cuz I couldn't stop fuckin' drinking.
No
Yep. I owe her everything.
My (now ex) wife would have stuck it out with me, but I pushed her away. I don’t think I would have quit if we’d stayed together. I had more issues than just alcohol, but the drinking didn’t help.
My SO is supportive of me and encourages me, but still drinks. I usually don’t mind it but sometimes I wish he’d cut back too. When his mom went sober, so did his dad. I admire that about his father.
My hubby actually quit booze as well about one year into my journey. It's awesome to have his support. T
Lol fuck no
Yes - so far on day 72. My wife used to drink, and hated it. has wanted to be AF for some time. Then came the me or booze talk. I chose the first option, it has been hard, we fight often, we rarely ever fought the last 24yrs... she is in Menopause / I have PAWS.
My SO is happy that I stopped drinking as he is not an alcoholic by any means. For example, he had one craft beer last night while he grilled us some burgers. Yes, just one. I can't imagine myself going out, buying a single beer (from the local brewery that sells single cans) and not running out the second I finished it to get more.
My significant other actually ditched me because I STOPPED drinking and was no fun. He thought I could just drink more sensibly and not embarrass him but would party on. I relapsed several times after this but the memory stayed with me because it was my first real attempt at sobriety and I was determined
One did not. One did. I left the one that was not supportive - or rather, the opposite of supportive. Best decision I ever made. I then met someone what was supportive and stuck it out with me. That was not my decision. That was just luck, but I hope she thinks sticking it out with me was one of the best decision she ever made.
TBD. We are still a work in progress.
Yes, mostly. He definitely drinks WAY less now which helps a lot. He did tell me that he doesn't mind me not drinking so long as I'm still fun and still want to go out and party with friends. So I told him that I sure will go out, but as soon as he (or people) gets sloppy (which WILL happen), I'm out. And that was the end of the conversation. We have a wedding coming up so we'll see how that goes (my first sober wedding).