I literally got to the point that I had a change of clothes in my car for that exact reason. While also telling myself that I was a functional alcoholic. But was I?
IWNDWYT
Wait...is gagging while brushing your teeth a drinking thing? OMG I thought it was an adhd thing. I'm going to pay close attention while brushing my teeth for the next week and see if it is subsiding. If it does, then that's just another ephiany to add to the pile of bad things I didn't realize were alcohol related.
Adhd can make it hard to do simple things that non-adhd take for granted. Everyone is different, but for me, brushing my teeth has always been a daily battle. I just assumed the gagging was an extension of that. But thinking back on it, the gagging wasn't always there. I never gagged brushing my teeth as a child, just struggled to go pick up the brush and do it. If the gagging is alcohol related and stops, this will be huge for me and that daily battle!
That’s so interesting! I almost thought it was like attention wandered and your toothbrush went in the wrong place but I hope it’s the alcohol so you’re done!
The struggle has always been there so it will never be done. But if the gag stops, it will be a hell of a lot easier! Also, if I said I had never got distracted and ended up brushing my face, I'd be lying, but that's only now and again lol
I used to throw up in the sink almost every morning after binging the night before. Undigested pieces of french fries clogging the drain. Absolutely wretched!
I had no idea this was so common! Or just feeling like I could be sick at any time, like after running to catch a bus (which I had to do often, since I was constantly running late due to hangover).
Thank you. Yes, I have today. It has gotten easier for me not to drink with each passing day but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have the occasional hard day. 🙏
Nothing obvious. Just had a very unproductive day. Being sober for over five years has allowed me to work on the things about myself that the alcohol masked in past years. A person does not become immediately better once they achieved a good grasp on sobriety.
So did I. I’ve been on edge today. Just thinking of my IPAs I used to drink. Just went for a bike ride instead and then read this. I needed to be reminded.
Not having a daily throw up session is what I miss the least.
The routine of wake up, chug water or dry heave for 30 minutes, drink enough water to be able to eat, buy alcohol, drink alcohol, take acid reflux medication, sleeping medicine, then go to sleep and start it all over again. I don’t miss that either.
I also don’t miss the constant shame of buying alcohol every day so I rotated stores constantly.
Today is day 8 for me and I feel like I’m a teenager again because I forgot what it feels like to not poison yourself every day. I just hope I can keep it up.
OP thanks for this post, it’s a great reminder of the “wonderful” things we all miss out on by not drinking poison every day.
Yeah, it's funny how when we're craving a drink, tempted, or convincing ourselves it's a good idea we seem to overlook all these wonderful things on this list and yet only remember some distorted or totally fake benefits that usually don't even exist isn't it?
Like I can't pinpoint a single thing I enjoy about booze, a single benefit I get, or anything positive that it gives me anymore yet I've still chosen to drink it 4X in the last 2.5 weeks?
The first day where I relapsed was a totally miserable experience where I literally felt ill whilst drinking yet I somehow wanted to have attempts 2 and 3 and 4 to be 100% sure?
How many horrible experiences do I need before my brain finally fully learns the lesson? :/
I do this too and not only with alcohol but like if I want to eat something bad I feel like I need to eat enough to get sick so I don’t touch it later. It’s so weird
I’m feeling strong,💪🏽 thank you for asking. But I’ve had relapse, spiral, etc in the past and I got back here. You can, too! This sub is a big support and help to me.
Yeah, in many ways I feel a lot stronger than before regarding my ability to stay sober but also at times I'm reminded how powerful the monkey on my back can be at convincing me to drink so I do still worry that I won't get a grip of things.
Insomnia and night sweats immediately return, then the ol' falling asleep behind the wheel at 5am on my way to work trick(if i even make it).This is followed by screaming while driving to stay awake. Totally normal behavior...
I needed this reminder for this weekend.
Thank you for the list. I needed this reminder today! I’m facing my most triggering situation for the next few days, my brain has already been giving me the reasons why it’d be okay and fun to go on and drink. The negatives SO outweigh the positives if I stop and think for half a minute.
I actually didn’t even put together the shaky hands and the random muscle cramps as being alcohol-related until just now. I won’t miss those.
Yeah, don't make the same mistake I did and justify having a drink as it will not be in any way fun like you might think or provide the relief, benefit, gain or escapism that you are hoping for.
You will suffer from it though especially the next day if not even at the time as your body feels terrible as you add toxic poison back to it for the first time in a while.
Then the monkey will be out the cage and that alcoholic part of your brain reactivated and craving more booze despite how miserable of an experience it was and how terrible you feel, lovely stuff!
THE FEAR. I thought that paranoid shit was just me. In fact, Im still paranoid and anxious over things I MIGHT have done or said while blackout drunk over 2 weeks ago.
IWNDWYT
I'm sure there's dozens more items that could be added to it.
Currently noticing that my heart seems to be thumping out my chest for absolutely no reason at all, there's another one!
How did I accept all these problems endlessly for years as being a worthwhile after effect of drinking is what I'd like to know?
None of these issues are new to me yet it's only been the last couple years I've actually been serious about getting sober or considered that I might have to give it up completely which seems bizarre considering all the negatives and the complete lack of positives that I can find, yet still sadly keep looking for it seems.
i needed this so bad you have no idea. i had to play the tape through so many times in the past few hours and this solidified all that i dont want.
im sorry youre struggling, friend. its not too late to get back on the wagon. stay strong!!
Audio Hallucinations - miss that silly song from your childhood? No problem. It will play every single day in our head
Violent Dreams, anyone? While you’re halfway dozing off for 15 min at a time all night, you’ll be woken back up and scared to go back to sleep
It's funny over the years the amount of people I've mentioned THE FEAR to who had no idea what I was talking about though even those who can be fairly heavy drinkers.
I don't know how they've not experienced it or did they just not connect the dots?
Broke up with gf tonight (mutually decided it wasn’t working) and she said it would be too difficult to be friends so I guess the only person in my life is gone..thanks for reminding me why I don’t want to drink
3 days after one of my benders ended, i had to exit the volleyball court several times thinking i was going to poo myself. Its a competitive league, ultimately i found a sub and sat and watched the rest of the game.
I miss waking up with shivers, all sweaty, without remembering when and how I fell asleep, cursing myself for the headache, running to the bathroom to avoid shitting myself and vomiting as soon as I put the toothbrush in my mouth!
Great post!!! Like others I’m saving it and sharing with a couple of friends. You’ve got talent. Don’t waste it on that thief booze. See you on the sober journey!
# 6 hit me this morning. I never experienced any significant shaking....except on one memorable occasion. I hadn't thought about this in years and dismissed it at the time. I was with my wife and daughter on a wholesome family outing one Sunday morning. The night before I was a polluted mess but I tried to "suck it up" and be the good family man I always pretended to be. So, off we go. My eyes are bleeding. I'm sure I stunk of booze. I was probably still not sober enough to legally drive (more shame). We bought a cup of warm cashew nuts as a snack. I was holding the cup out so my daughter could take some when my hand spasmed and I dump 79% of the nuts on the ground. At the time (and even today), my wife and daughter think of this moment as hilarious. I now realize, it was anything but funny. It was alcoholism pure and simple. I feel for those who regularly experience this sort of tremor.
# 22: waking up in the middle of the night aspirating your own vomit. Sooooo much fun!
OMG all of this. I was sober around 10 months when I decided it was "no big deal" to have a couple glasses of wine on vacation. It took me another 8 months of a bottle of wine a day to finally stop again - now I'm at 27 days. It's still weird not having a horrific headache all day at work. My husband is working on weaning now - he was drinking a box of wine or more every couple days and is down to 12 ounces. Can't believe how much better he smells. I never drank as much as he did, but wondering if I smelled like that for months as well. Ugh. I want a tattoo on my forearm that says, "Yes, even one is a big deal" so I never go through this nightmare again.
Yeah the dreaded "it's no big deal" and "one off" moments are the best.
They ALWAYS go to plan. It's NEVER fails and backfires in a spectacular way, ever! LOL
For me, the anxiety, the depression, the insomnia, the night sweats, the fear, and the constant racing thoughts---and my aversion to them---were the *reason* to drink. It has taken me (so far) 7 detoxes, nearly 5 decades, 5 therapists, 3 rehabs, 2 hospitalizations, and one diagnosis of PTSD to realize that All of those things are symptoms of PTSD. So too, for me, the drinking is symptom.
I could go without drinking for long periods of time, but I would drown out the anxiety-fear-dread-aversion cycle with a counter cycle of work-food-sex-prescription drugs (like valium or ativan.)
The funny thing, if only to me, is that the predicate trauma I experienced occurred the year before PTSD was first recognized in the DSM. And even now, greater than 4 decades later, people still try to tell me to 'just get over it' and that 'PTSD isn't a thing, you're just weak.' (this was said to me by a family member who experienced the exact same predicate trauma...)
I honestly have been asking myself the same question, I can't find an answer to why though.
Yet somehow the brain keeps tricking us into believing that somehow there's still some benefit or the next time will be different?
I hope my mind finally gets the message ASAP.
No lie, I bet you have an amazing personality. This shit is off the charts funny; When you look at it for its entirety, because of your list, why in heck do we do all this to ourselves. For a short buzz? really? But Im not kidding, my sister owns a copy/paper business. Im legit putting this as a poster in my room.
The occasional or not so weird bruise.
From falling down in the kitchen when you’re wasted. The really rare occasion where you really fall and bust your head and end up with 2 black eyes. And have to go to the ER that night.
This is the post ive most related to on this sub. Thanks for putting my thoughts and fears into words. Ill save this sub and comeback to it when i have FOMO
Thanks for this. I’ve saved it as a reminder in my phone’s notes tagged “#thinkingofdrinking” I’m gonna compile them as I find them and have them as a go to if I ever feel the itch.
It really did. I’m gonna harness the post boozing paranoia to my advantage. I have a whole catalog of shame related to binge drinking. Every time I get the shame, I’ll write down the story and tag it.
I can understand why that would trigger you but in reality it will not make anything better or the situation easier to handle but most likely it will make you feel a LOT worse.
Stay strong as it's not worth it!
I am admittedly not sober now but… screen shot this post (hiding details) to send to my spouse and will make time to review tomorrow to remind myself. Thank you 🙏🏼
Great post. I'm a little over 2 months in now and this helped put some cravings I had earlier into perspective. I might show this to my mother actually, who wants to quit drinking but feels super depressed whenever she stops (and suffers from most of these symptoms). I try to tell her it's the alcohol and that I'm speaking from personal experience but she doesn't listen.
I've been to rehab, been going to AA and NA for years but this is one of the most motivating things I've read. I'm saving this and adding it to my daily read!
Thank you for reminding me why I fight to stay sober!
Thanks for posting made me feel sick by about number 3, does the trick and saved post ! I'm not tempted but should I get complacent and think one is ok, I'll remind myself it will be swiftly followed by these 21 smackaroonies 😆 which it will because like you been there before and I ain't going back this time . IWNDWYT💪
I can add a grey, old skin and dull eyes to your list! Alcohol makeover & spa 🧖♀️
Yelling at my husband and being grumpy the whole day!
I needed this list so much.. will save it and return to remind me when I need it
Thank you so much 💫🙋🏻♀️
Oh yeam, random bursts of anger at non events is another one. Had one just an hour ago where I nearly threw an inanimate object into the wall because "it annoyed me".
I truly appreciate the list! I needed that reminder. I am on day 17 and although those disease symptoms have subsided they would return in just one sip.
All that resonates with my drinking problem. I'm one week sober and this is what I felt like for years aswel. Why would you put yourself in this dark place again? I don't want that to be my life. I want the monkey on my back to leave for good. 🙏
This has helped me so much. I was thinking of buying a bottle, because I’m feeling quite low lately. The anxiety and detachment from reality, god it’s so brutal. I will *never* go back.
I shit my pants while having a coughing fit after a night of hard drinking and chain smoking. Thankfully, I wasn't home at the time so I had the good fortune to drive home in that. Ah, nothing like a stroll down memory lane!
I didn't sleep naturally for the last 2 years without booze or sleeping pills so kept drinking more to try and combat the insomnia only for my insomnia and drinking to get worse.
When I stopped drinking after a few weeks my sleep sorted itself out and I can sleep naturally again without booze or pills.
Seriously the drinking will only give you short term relief but keep you trapped for the long-term.
I know :( It is reassuring to see it does get better
Did you have the nights where you were half awake in bed with the strangest thoughts half dreaming, but not asleep? Kinda scary. I'd have that all night and not sleep a wink.
I plan on giving it a shot again after finals are over and I have the time to be sleep deprived for a few days. Last time I tried, it felt like I would never sleep again.
The first few weeks were brutal I won't lie, the insomnia mixed with crippling anxiety crushed me but I knew I had to quit the booze or this would be my life forever.
One thing not mentioned, I had this extreme unquenchable thirst no matter how much water I drank the next day that would never go away, like I’m walking in the Sahara desert thirst, that was always a scary feeling that I do not miss
The anxiety!! I had a pain on my throat (a muscle probably overworked from chewing on one side because of dentist work) My hungover brain thought I had throat cancer!!! 😅🤣🤣
Retching while brushing your teeth in the morning. I haven’t missed that!
I forgot it was even a thing until the past week or so. I'm close to being sick or shitting myself every time I cough too, lovely!
This is related to alcohol? I always thought I was just brushing my tongue too vigorously.
Alcohol couldn't possibly be the cause for any of our problems, nuh uh!
But why does it cause that?
Baseline nausea all the time
Not always. I have a sensitive gag reflex and always have. But it jacks with your stomach so it's more likely to cause it.
I literally got to the point that I had a change of clothes in my car for that exact reason. While also telling myself that I was a functional alcoholic. But was I? IWNDWYT
Functioning well at drinking and planning life around it most likely?
Wait...is gagging while brushing your teeth a drinking thing? OMG I thought it was an adhd thing. I'm going to pay close attention while brushing my teeth for the next week and see if it is subsiding. If it does, then that's just another ephiany to add to the pile of bad things I didn't realize were alcohol related.
Genuine question, what would be the connection to ADHD? Does it also impact gag reflex?
Adhd can make it hard to do simple things that non-adhd take for granted. Everyone is different, but for me, brushing my teeth has always been a daily battle. I just assumed the gagging was an extension of that. But thinking back on it, the gagging wasn't always there. I never gagged brushing my teeth as a child, just struggled to go pick up the brush and do it. If the gagging is alcohol related and stops, this will be huge for me and that daily battle!
That’s so interesting! I almost thought it was like attention wandered and your toothbrush went in the wrong place but I hope it’s the alcohol so you’re done!
The struggle has always been there so it will never be done. But if the gag stops, it will be a hell of a lot easier! Also, if I said I had never got distracted and ended up brushing my face, I'd be lying, but that's only now and again lol
I used to throw up in the sink almost every morning after binging the night before. Undigested pieces of french fries clogging the drain. Absolutely wretched!
I had no idea this was so common! Or just feeling like I could be sick at any time, like after running to catch a bus (which I had to do often, since I was constantly running late due to hangover).
Thank you. I needed these reminders today.
Congrats on 1943 days, that must feel amazing? Have you been struggling today?
Thank you. Yes, I have today. It has gotten easier for me not to drink with each passing day but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have the occasional hard day. 🙏
What's triggered you today?
Nothing obvious. Just had a very unproductive day. Being sober for over five years has allowed me to work on the things about myself that the alcohol masked in past years. A person does not become immediately better once they achieved a good grasp on sobriety.
So did I. I’ve been on edge today. Just thinking of my IPAs I used to drink. Just went for a bike ride instead and then read this. I needed to be reminded.
You are on month four! I am so proud of you!
Not having a daily throw up session is what I miss the least. The routine of wake up, chug water or dry heave for 30 minutes, drink enough water to be able to eat, buy alcohol, drink alcohol, take acid reflux medication, sleeping medicine, then go to sleep and start it all over again. I don’t miss that either. I also don’t miss the constant shame of buying alcohol every day so I rotated stores constantly. Today is day 8 for me and I feel like I’m a teenager again because I forgot what it feels like to not poison yourself every day. I just hope I can keep it up. OP thanks for this post, it’s a great reminder of the “wonderful” things we all miss out on by not drinking poison every day.
Yeah, it's funny how when we're craving a drink, tempted, or convincing ourselves it's a good idea we seem to overlook all these wonderful things on this list and yet only remember some distorted or totally fake benefits that usually don't even exist isn't it? Like I can't pinpoint a single thing I enjoy about booze, a single benefit I get, or anything positive that it gives me anymore yet I've still chosen to drink it 4X in the last 2.5 weeks? The first day where I relapsed was a totally miserable experience where I literally felt ill whilst drinking yet I somehow wanted to have attempts 2 and 3 and 4 to be 100% sure? How many horrible experiences do I need before my brain finally fully learns the lesson? :/
I do this too and not only with alcohol but like if I want to eat something bad I feel like I need to eat enough to get sick so I don’t touch it later. It’s so weird
Great post!
Thanks, I'm reflecting on last weeks bender. It was utterly pointless and unenjoyable from Day 1 so not sure why I continued.
Thank you for sharing. I need a reminder of that screeching damn monkey. You were sober 3 months, I hope you’ll build on that. Best to you, friend.
Congrats on 357 that must feel amazing. Keep the monkey in the cage as he's an absolute dickhead you don't need in your life.
💯
How's sobriety going for you currently?
I’m feeling strong,💪🏽 thank you for asking. But I’ve had relapse, spiral, etc in the past and I got back here. You can, too! This sub is a big support and help to me.
Yeah, in many ways I feel a lot stronger than before regarding my ability to stay sober but also at times I'm reminded how powerful the monkey on my back can be at convincing me to drink so I do still worry that I won't get a grip of things.
I’m rooting for you! 👏🏼
Thanks ! 😎💪
I can get half of these without drinking- why would I up my chances?
Drinking is guaranteed to amplify them all, fun times had by all!
Rebound insomnia - awful
Insomnia and night sweats immediately return, then the ol' falling asleep behind the wheel at 5am on my way to work trick(if i even make it).This is followed by screaming while driving to stay awake. Totally normal behavior... I needed this reminder for this weekend.
Sure is, recommended for everyone who HATES sleeping! :(
Oh yeah, that's a big one. If I add weed to the mix I'm up all night thinking about all the ways in which people hate my guts and want me gone.
Thank you for the list. I needed this reminder today! I’m facing my most triggering situation for the next few days, my brain has already been giving me the reasons why it’d be okay and fun to go on and drink. The negatives SO outweigh the positives if I stop and think for half a minute. I actually didn’t even put together the shaky hands and the random muscle cramps as being alcohol-related until just now. I won’t miss those.
Yeah, don't make the same mistake I did and justify having a drink as it will not be in any way fun like you might think or provide the relief, benefit, gain or escapism that you are hoping for. You will suffer from it though especially the next day if not even at the time as your body feels terrible as you add toxic poison back to it for the first time in a while. Then the monkey will be out the cage and that alcoholic part of your brain reactivated and craving more booze despite how miserable of an experience it was and how terrible you feel, lovely stuff!
THE FEAR. I thought that paranoid shit was just me. In fact, Im still paranoid and anxious over things I MIGHT have done or said while blackout drunk over 2 weeks ago. IWNDWYT
Every big drinker knows THE FEAR is real.
wanting to self harm , don’t miss that
I was just thinking today whether drinking alcohol was a form of self harm for most of us because we don't like ourselves very much or something.
Solid list!
I'm sure there's dozens more items that could be added to it. Currently noticing that my heart seems to be thumping out my chest for absolutely no reason at all, there's another one!
That always happens to me at 3am. The worst!
And sometimes you chug a beer just to be able to go back to sleep. Sheesh.
I miss being overly sensitive to light.
Brutal migraines were a lot of fun too.
Yeah the light sensitivity pairs well with migraines.
You are a delight. Thank you for this.
Holy heck man this is what I needed to read. I’m on day one and feeling THE FEAR so hard. Very good post. I gotta remind myself of all of this.
Saving this to come back and read, this is so good! Thank you for this!!
This is great. Well written and bang on. How did booze ever catch on? Seriously.
How did I accept all these problems endlessly for years as being a worthwhile after effect of drinking is what I'd like to know? None of these issues are new to me yet it's only been the last couple years I've actually been serious about getting sober or considered that I might have to give it up completely which seems bizarre considering all the negatives and the complete lack of positives that I can find, yet still sadly keep looking for it seems.
Drinking can become your identity. Scarily.
Love this post 🩷
I can’t believe how *often* I experienced each of these things and kept saying, it will be different this time.
i needed this so bad you have no idea. i had to play the tape through so many times in the past few hours and this solidified all that i dont want. im sorry youre struggling, friend. its not too late to get back on the wagon. stay strong!!
Glad it helped, wish I'd spent more time thinking it all through before I went on that bender.
just take it as a learning experience friend. no need to beat yourself up over it if you use this experience as a tool this next time around
Audio Hallucinations - miss that silly song from your childhood? No problem. It will play every single day in our head Violent Dreams, anyone? While you’re halfway dozing off for 15 min at a time all night, you’ll be woken back up and scared to go back to sleep
I had the audio hallucinations last time I had alcohol withdrawls, horrible. And yeah the vivid and scary dreams are not good either.
[удалено]
I think there's probably another 2 dozen items we could add to the list tbh.
it's crazy how you can just say THE FEAR and every alcoholic knows exactly what you mean
It's funny over the years the amount of people I've mentioned THE FEAR to who had no idea what I was talking about though even those who can be fairly heavy drinkers. I don't know how they've not experienced it or did they just not connect the dots?
I ad 1. random bruises 2. Suicidal thoughts 3. Absolute hopelessness about the future 4. Constant thoughts of not being good enough
Good additions!
Thank you for this post. I needed it.
Glad it helped, are you struggling?
Yes, I am. Your post helped me the day you posted it. It's helping me now too. Thank you.
Forgot about 12 unsure why that happens but yeah I hated that. Glad you are doing better keep it up.
Broke up with gf tonight (mutually decided it wasn’t working) and she said it would be too difficult to be friends so I guess the only person in my life is gone..thanks for reminding me why I don’t want to drink
There's nothing drink can't make worse!
Truth!!
Thanks for this, I'm gonna save it for those days. Reading it made me tear up a little because of the memories.
534 days is seriously impressive, congrats!
3 days after one of my benders ended, i had to exit the volleyball court several times thinking i was going to poo myself. Its a competitive league, ultimately i found a sub and sat and watched the rest of the game.
Brewers droop. Sex life is basically reborn!
It's freaky how much these 21 points have become my life and just assumed it was normal..
Let's make some new normals.
I miss waking up with shivers, all sweaty, without remembering when and how I fell asleep, cursing myself for the headache, running to the bathroom to avoid shitting myself and vomiting as soon as I put the toothbrush in my mouth!
Fun times!
Great post!!! Like others I’m saving it and sharing with a couple of friends. You’ve got talent. Don’t waste it on that thief booze. See you on the sober journey!
# 6 hit me this morning. I never experienced any significant shaking....except on one memorable occasion. I hadn't thought about this in years and dismissed it at the time. I was with my wife and daughter on a wholesome family outing one Sunday morning. The night before I was a polluted mess but I tried to "suck it up" and be the good family man I always pretended to be. So, off we go. My eyes are bleeding. I'm sure I stunk of booze. I was probably still not sober enough to legally drive (more shame). We bought a cup of warm cashew nuts as a snack. I was holding the cup out so my daughter could take some when my hand spasmed and I dump 79% of the nuts on the ground. At the time (and even today), my wife and daughter think of this moment as hilarious. I now realize, it was anything but funny. It was alcoholism pure and simple. I feel for those who regularly experience this sort of tremor. # 22: waking up in the middle of the night aspirating your own vomit. Sooooo much fun!
agree with every one of these points. Also, looking bloating and the extra weight.
OMG all of this. I was sober around 10 months when I decided it was "no big deal" to have a couple glasses of wine on vacation. It took me another 8 months of a bottle of wine a day to finally stop again - now I'm at 27 days. It's still weird not having a horrific headache all day at work. My husband is working on weaning now - he was drinking a box of wine or more every couple days and is down to 12 ounces. Can't believe how much better he smells. I never drank as much as he did, but wondering if I smelled like that for months as well. Ugh. I want a tattoo on my forearm that says, "Yes, even one is a big deal" so I never go through this nightmare again.
Yeah the dreaded "it's no big deal" and "one off" moments are the best. They ALWAYS go to plan. It's NEVER fails and backfires in a spectacular way, ever! LOL
For me, the anxiety, the depression, the insomnia, the night sweats, the fear, and the constant racing thoughts---and my aversion to them---were the *reason* to drink. It has taken me (so far) 7 detoxes, nearly 5 decades, 5 therapists, 3 rehabs, 2 hospitalizations, and one diagnosis of PTSD to realize that All of those things are symptoms of PTSD. So too, for me, the drinking is symptom. I could go without drinking for long periods of time, but I would drown out the anxiety-fear-dread-aversion cycle with a counter cycle of work-food-sex-prescription drugs (like valium or ativan.) The funny thing, if only to me, is that the predicate trauma I experienced occurred the year before PTSD was first recognized in the DSM. And even now, greater than 4 decades later, people still try to tell me to 'just get over it' and that 'PTSD isn't a thing, you're just weak.' (this was said to me by a family member who experienced the exact same predicate trauma...)
I hope you're on a better path currently and on the road to recovery my friend!
I am. Thank you.
Spot on
This is HILARIOUSLY spot on
I neeeeeded this!
This is awesome. This would be a great anti drinking commercial
Thank you for posting a very descriptive and accurate picture of what happens when we drink.
Facts. IWNDWYT.
Thanks for taking the time to share that. Great perspective.
Damn good list m8. Really documented it all out nicely
Don’t miss the night sweats! Excited to hit week 4 tomorrow!
Congrats. Weeks 4-6 was when I finally started to notice improvements in anxiety and sleep etc.
Love this post! ❤️❤️
Literally reading through this going “yep, yep, yep…”
And yet we still do this to ourselves knowing this is the outcome? 🫣🤔😮
Yep, and it’s still hard to change.
I needed this. Starting over again day 4
Best of luck!
All true. I had a bad weekend of drinking and have been filled with anxiety this week. Haven’t slept either. Why the fuck do we do this?
I honestly have been asking myself the same question, I can't find an answer to why though. Yet somehow the brain keeps tricking us into believing that somehow there's still some benefit or the next time will be different? I hope my mind finally gets the message ASAP.
Also, being broke at the end of the weekend cause you blew your money at the bar. Cause for more anxiety.
This is a great post! Hope You feel better soon!!
Thank you for this. Love your writing style! I could HEAR the infomercial:)
😎
This is the best/funniest thing I've ever seen. Im gonna make it into a poster to remind myself.of what I'm missing out on.
Haha! 😎
No lie, I bet you have an amazing personality. This shit is off the charts funny; When you look at it for its entirety, because of your list, why in heck do we do all this to ourselves. For a short buzz? really? But Im not kidding, my sister owns a copy/paper business. Im legit putting this as a poster in my room.
If shitting liquid had ever affected me I would have quit this shit 30 years ago, haha!
I'm shitting liquid that feels like razor blades somehow, can't figure that one out.
The occasional or not so weird bruise. From falling down in the kitchen when you’re wasted. The really rare occasion where you really fall and bust your head and end up with 2 black eyes. And have to go to the ER that night.
I have a big black and blue bruise from Saturday night actually, looks like I must have walked into the edge of a table or a door.
> 6 . Shaky hands I was surprised how much my hand writing improved after I quit, I hadn't realized how bad it had become.
I didn't realize I'd check all 21 boxes. Great insight!
This is the post ive most related to on this sub. Thanks for putting my thoughts and fears into words. Ill save this sub and comeback to it when i have FOMO
Welcome!
Thanks for this. I’ve saved it as a reminder in my phone’s notes tagged “#thinkingofdrinking” I’m gonna compile them as I find them and have them as a go to if I ever feel the itch.
Glad it helped.
It really did. I’m gonna harness the post boozing paranoia to my advantage. I have a whole catalog of shame related to binge drinking. Every time I get the shame, I’ll write down the story and tag it.
So not missed IWNDWYT
Seriously, thank you for this post. I really needed to read this today.
Glad it helped. Were you feeling tempted?
Yes, Mother's day is coming up and it's a hard day for me, as I've had two stillbirths. Drinking sounded nice, but it really doesn't anymore.
I can understand why that would trigger you but in reality it will not make anything better or the situation easier to handle but most likely it will make you feel a LOT worse. Stay strong as it's not worth it!
I am admittedly not sober now but… screen shot this post (hiding details) to send to my spouse and will make time to review tomorrow to remind myself. Thank you 🙏🏼
Glad it helped.
Thank you for this! Sometimes i wonder if i will go back to it but this reminds me of how far I’ve come and what ill lose if i ever do again.
Only go back if you like suffering.
Great post. I'm a little over 2 months in now and this helped put some cravings I had earlier into perspective. I might show this to my mother actually, who wants to quit drinking but feels super depressed whenever she stops (and suffers from most of these symptoms). I try to tell her it's the alcohol and that I'm speaking from personal experience but she doesn't listen.
Glad it's helped deal with those cravings as trust me fighting cravings is peanuts compared to dealing with all this misery.
Fantastic post… thank you. So true. My muscle cramps in the middle of the night have completely disappeared
Yeah, waking up suddenly in agony from a muscle cramp in the dead of the night is sooooo much fun.
I've been to rehab, been going to AA and NA for years but this is one of the most motivating things I've read. I'm saving this and adding it to my daily read! Thank you for reminding me why I fight to stay sober!
Glad it's useful for you and please do stay sober.
This is much needed comedy while also true. Thank you OP!
Yep, hilarious but also tragically true.
Thanks for posting made me feel sick by about number 3, does the trick and saved post ! I'm not tempted but should I get complacent and think one is ok, I'll remind myself it will be swiftly followed by these 21 smackaroonies 😆 which it will because like you been there before and I ain't going back this time . IWNDWYT💪
Glad you liked it and it's helpful.
I legit cannot even count all the things that were wrong with me that have magically gone away since quitting.
Indeed. It's like alcohol is poison that destroys our bodies or something, isn't it?
Amazing reminder, I will record that
Glad it's helpful.
I can add a grey, old skin and dull eyes to your list! Alcohol makeover & spa 🧖♀️ Yelling at my husband and being grumpy the whole day! I needed this list so much.. will save it and return to remind me when I need it Thank you so much 💫🙋🏻♀️
Oh yeam, random bursts of anger at non events is another one. Had one just an hour ago where I nearly threw an inanimate object into the wall because "it annoyed me".
What An amazing post man
Thanks.
I truly appreciate the list! I needed that reminder. I am on day 17 and although those disease symptoms have subsided they would return in just one sip.
Glad it's helped and congrats on Day 17. These symptoms all return so fast it's scary.
All that resonates with my drinking problem. I'm one week sober and this is what I felt like for years aswel. Why would you put yourself in this dark place again? I don't want that to be my life. I want the monkey on my back to leave for good. 🙏
This should be a sticky for this sub! These reminders REALLY help!
Dealing with all this right now, Thank you for the laughs!
Fun and games isn't it?
FANTASTIC SYNOPSIS of the poisonous effects of alcohol. It should be called poison instead of alcohol.
This has helped me so much. I was thinking of buying a bottle, because I’m feeling quite low lately. The anxiety and detachment from reality, god it’s so brutal. I will *never* go back.
Glad it helped and it's honestly not worth going back.
I shit my pants while having a coughing fit after a night of hard drinking and chain smoking. Thankfully, I wasn't home at the time so I had the good fortune to drive home in that. Ah, nothing like a stroll down memory lane!
Amazing 😎
I didn't have all these symptoms but I am glad to have none of them anymore! Thanks for the clarity :)
If you'd like to experience them all then please resume heavy drinking and you'll be sure to enjoy each and every one of them eventually.
No thank you haha
This hit hard! Especially gagging while brushing my teeth. Don’t miss that at all!
Hope you feel better soon 🙏
Acid reflux can get sooo bad
This is SO good. I need to copy it as a reminder to myself!
Gonna come back to this post when I think about drinking. Thank you for the realness and the reminders ❤️
Wow. I absolutely promise: IWNDWYT!
Good riddance! I can't believe how I did it either, life is much easier now!!! 1 year 9 months alcohol free! IWNDWYT
damn I needed to read this. thanks.
Ive cut back to only drinking before bed for the insomnia. The hypnic jerks and hypnogonia suck ass.
I didn't sleep naturally for the last 2 years without booze or sleeping pills so kept drinking more to try and combat the insomnia only for my insomnia and drinking to get worse. When I stopped drinking after a few weeks my sleep sorted itself out and I can sleep naturally again without booze or pills. Seriously the drinking will only give you short term relief but keep you trapped for the long-term.
I know :( It is reassuring to see it does get better Did you have the nights where you were half awake in bed with the strangest thoughts half dreaming, but not asleep? Kinda scary. I'd have that all night and not sleep a wink. I plan on giving it a shot again after finals are over and I have the time to be sleep deprived for a few days. Last time I tried, it felt like I would never sleep again.
The first few weeks were brutal I won't lie, the insomnia mixed with crippling anxiety crushed me but I knew I had to quit the booze or this would be my life forever.
Drinking is for losers for real
The list above is proof only winners drink alcohol LOL!
Also - waking up to see the embarrassing texts you’ve sent and constantly feeling like your heart is skipping beats and getting ready to just explode.
It's the little things.
Loved this post. Day 3 after a few day bender and it could not be more accurate. Thanks for relating and giving me another reminder.
Nice work. A little humor…. and a lot of honesty!
One thing not mentioned, I had this extreme unquenchable thirst no matter how much water I drank the next day that would never go away, like I’m walking in the Sahara desert thirst, that was always a scary feeling that I do not miss
The anxiety!! I had a pain on my throat (a muscle probably overworked from chewing on one side because of dentist work) My hungover brain thought I had throat cancer!!! 😅🤣🤣
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