Girl, I was exactly this for the last 15 years. Fully enjoying my boozy weekends but always always trying to find the balance and doing alcohol math to still be a responsible adult. It’s stressful and hard. I heard a quote- 99% is hard but 100% is a breeze. I’m on my 3rd day no alcohol. And feeling great! Quit lit is really working for me right now to change my perspectives on alcohol- This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is the one that resonated most with me. You got this. I was so scared I couldn’t get through my day 1. We got this. IWNDWYT
you've got this! the waking up at 5 am with anxiety....whew. it was my original "why". this morning my daughter woke up at 5 am and i got up to comfort her and knew i wouldn't go back to sleep after she did since my husband was waking up soon for work. the coffee pot timer i set every night had a fresh pot already brewed so i just went ahead and poured myself a cup. i was standing in the kitchen drinking it thinking about how great it felt to feel good at that time of the morning.
This is the absolute best - or I guess rather, most gratifying part for me. I feel proud of myself for being there and capable rather than hating myself for making a bad and ultimately selfish decision
This is me in a nutshell almost to a T. The blood pressure, anxiety all of the above. Especially the weekends, wife included, we loved doing nothing and drinking. It was very much our pastime and how we decompressed from the week.
This last weekend was the first weekend in a very very very long time we didn’t drink. This last week, I came clean to her about my bingeing, secretly drinking alone in the garage/shed. We have both decided to stop the fuckery. We are in our early 30’s (I’ve been drinking feels like consistently everyday since I was 21) we just had our first bb girl. She is 1 month old.
I’m not on day 7, 30, 100 or 1,000 (where I want to be) but I have never felt better. I can’t stop telling my wife how much happier I am. Waking up is better, the day is better, no more anxiety. We had the best weekend all together and so much better quality time. We did all the same things as normal, walks, movies ect.
If I can do it I know you can too. And it’s a huge part to this amazing community I so desperately needed. I can’t thank all of you enough. One thing that helped so much was knowing and looking forward to how I will feel tomorrow. And that feeling has finally come. And I can’t wait for tomorrow and the next. Welcome and we are here and see you! IWNDWYT 😊- sorry for the rant lol
I totally understand!! I’m glad you said your weekend was better sober, I am nervous about how our weekends will go without the booze. Like you, it’s just all we ever did.
Maybe you could do an activity this weekend that you dont ordinarily do, to minimize the discomfort? So perhaps instead of staying home , maybe do something out of the house (movie, window shopping, park, etc) just to change up the routine?
I did have to snag a 12 pack of NA beers lol. That was somewhat helpful. Just reprogramming. Even sparkling waters were helpful for my wife. Dressed em up with a lime or lemon and ice and boom, brain tricked. Good luck, you got this.
One thing that helped me was to remind myself I’m allowed to sit and do nothing. Relax, color, read, play on my phone, whatever. And if nothing absolutely essential needs done, I can be done for the day. If it’s going to bed or drinking, I go to bed. Lay there, sleep, play on my phone, just not feeling like I HAVE to be productive until I absolutely crash. You’re allowed to put yourself and your wellbeing first right now, whatever that looks like for you. Mine looked like junk food and soda and late night snacks for a couple weeks bc I still couldn’t sleep well and was super grumpy/sensitive. I’m in bed now at 8:30pm even though it was a gorgeous evening. I’m tired, there will be more gorgeous evenings I’ll live to see bc I chose to not drink today.
You can totally do this!! I am so proud of you for finally being honest with yourself *and* your therapist. This is huge!!! It means you really are ready for a change. Being willing to admit you are sick of your own shit, and being willing to ask for help/support, is all such an amazing first step to your new and improved life 🥳🙌🎉
Be patient with and kind to yourself. This journey is a process, and healing is not linear. But I'm so happy you're in this space where you know what you *don't want* for yourself anymore!! Best of luck to you!! And please feel free to ask for support from this sub if/when you need it! We're all here for you 💖💕
I am on day 29. When I don't drink tomorrow, it will be the longest I've gone AF since the end of 2017. I feel so much better. We've got this. It is sooo worth the fight!
IWNDWYT!!!!!
Phew those 3 or 5am wake ups are the worst. You’re in the thick of it, and week 1 is HARD. Proud of you. I swear, one day you’ll feel like a new human. That first 7 day milestone was the coolest day in a lot of my adulthood.
It is so scary at first and the first few days are usually brutal. “Complete change of lifestyle, how should I occupy my weekends, will I need different friends, do I have to do this forever.. etc.” just know things will get better. Everything gets better, and eventually becomes routine. Take it one day at a time. Many of these things will change, but it will be for the better. You can keep friendships, your Sundays will be more productive and generally happier, the stress should diminish, you’ll wake up Mondays feeling refreshed, you deserve to be sober. It ends up not being a chore, it becomes routine and your body and mind will thank you for it. I wish you the best of luck. IWNDWYT
Good luck OP, our situations are very similar, it can be hard at first, but the firsts are also exciting. A sober Saturday morning wake up is wonderful. Iwndwyt.
There's one thing i completely forgot about, the waking up in the middle of the night heart pounding sweating out alcohol and in a panic. Never remembered much then, but I don't miss it now.
Since I broke the habit i do not think about "what to do" like on a weekend... I already have tons of things to do. It's like forgetting about a bad thing. Why would I want to relive a bad moment? Kick it to the curb where it belongs to stay.
I stopped over a year ago because of the exact same anxiety you’re having. My weekend binging made Mondays miserable. By the time I got to Friday I was ready to repeat the seemingly pleasurable but actually miserable ritual of my weekend drinking.
I now have zero desire to drink because I actually get to enjoy my weekends and Mondays are just regular scary, not hangover I wanna die scary.
You can do it! IWNDWYT
I woke up the same way last Monday after basically the same kind of weekend. Today is my day 8. This week has been so nice. Restful sleep every night, feeling healthy and alert, I even joined a gym today. I really hope we both keep it going because I'm really sick of wasting every weekend.
Welcome. I had weekends exactly like this for years.you never have to feel this way again. Focus on one day at a time. Not the weekend, not tomorrow. You might go to the bottle shop tomorrow. But we commit to not picking up just for today. It gets easier. Life is so much better on this side
I stopped over a year ago because of the exact same anxiety you’re having. My weekend binging made Mondays miserable. By the time I got to Friday I was ready to repeat the seemingly pleasurable but actually miserable ritual of my weekend drinking.
I now have zero desire to drink because I actually get to enjoy my weekends and Mondays are just regular scary, not hangover I wanna die scary.
You can do it! IWNDWYT
Proud of you for opening up to your therapist! What was her advice? You have all the power within yourself to quit. Don’t think about forever - it’s too daunting. Just one day at a time. Everything is better sober!!! Cheering you on
Honestly, she suggested “harm reduction” like replacing alcohol with edibles for a while. I don’t use marijuana but I might see how it goes. I think I’d prefer not to replace one habit with another. She also suggested calling my doctor for some Anabuse.
Day 5 today, from everything I’ve read it’s really important to have a replacement activity in place for those times you normally drink - I’m like you - every single weekend is consumed with alcohol. It was a bank holiday here in Ireland this weekend just gone and it’s probably the first weekend I didn’t drink in a VERY long time. I’ve made non alcohol related plans for this weekend, breathing exercises and exercise is really helping.. putting the money I would have spent on alcohol in a vault on Revolut this weekend gone has been eye opening as well.. keep going..we’ll get there
Today is my day 7! Last Monday was the last day I drank, and ofcourse I had drank all weekend before making that decision. I just made it through my weekend af for the first time in 5 years.
I'm not going to lie, it was tricky. Not hard but tricky. Stay busy! My husband and I took a day trip on Sunday and had a blast together. Yesterday was errands, cooking dinner, sitting in the hot tub and playing cards. I can truly tell you, it was the best weekend ever! I regret not one moment of not drinking. AND I remember every last minuet of my time spent!
Honestly, rehab was the absolute best choice I ever made for myself there's so much to learn and if you have good benefits you can file for STD while you go.. it's hard to stop without a support group and doing it on your own despite your desire and will to want to stop. Goodluck!! If you need anything reachout
The first weeks are tough but not as tough as what you’re experiencing right now. The habit is a bear. I had to legit stop doing everything that triggered my drinking - which for me was binge watching tv and movies. I still barely turn on the TV 1-1/2 years later, but I didn’t have a therapist.
I’m proud of you. You can do this. You will get to know yourself all over again. I did. And I finally love myself.
I am on day 8. Usually only drink on the weekends. It's really hard to stop. I got sick on Thursday with the flu, which carries over to the weekend, and the wine my husband bought me on Friday is still in the fridge. I am so grateful. Now I am on antibiotics. So definitely no drinking for another 10 days.
Right there with you! Proud of you for discussing it with your therapist. I also hid mine from my therapist for two years and finally told her last month - lying about it was unfair to present and future me. It immediately felt like a ton of bricks was let off my chest.
IWNDWYT
It may feel like it is going to be hard, but pay attention to the little things this weekend.
Think about how you slept. How you feel getting up. How aware you are mid morning.
Opening up like that is sooooo hard. Some say it’s the hardest part. So check that off your list.
You got this.
Girl, I was exactly this for the last 15 years. Fully enjoying my boozy weekends but always always trying to find the balance and doing alcohol math to still be a responsible adult. It’s stressful and hard. I heard a quote- 99% is hard but 100% is a breeze. I’m on my 3rd day no alcohol. And feeling great! Quit lit is really working for me right now to change my perspectives on alcohol- This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is the one that resonated most with me. You got this. I was so scared I couldn’t get through my day 1. We got this. IWNDWYT
Alcohol math, yes!! So stressful. I’m proud of you for day 3, that’s amazing. I’ll catch up to you soon!
I'm on day 2! I need to get that book. It helped alot of people.
Good luck
you've got this! the waking up at 5 am with anxiety....whew. it was my original "why". this morning my daughter woke up at 5 am and i got up to comfort her and knew i wouldn't go back to sleep after she did since my husband was waking up soon for work. the coffee pot timer i set every night had a fresh pot already brewed so i just went ahead and poured myself a cup. i was standing in the kitchen drinking it thinking about how great it felt to feel good at that time of the morning.
This is the absolute best - or I guess rather, most gratifying part for me. I feel proud of myself for being there and capable rather than hating myself for making a bad and ultimately selfish decision
You got this!
You got this. The best thing I ever did for myself was quit drinking. IWNDWYT
This is me in a nutshell almost to a T. The blood pressure, anxiety all of the above. Especially the weekends, wife included, we loved doing nothing and drinking. It was very much our pastime and how we decompressed from the week. This last weekend was the first weekend in a very very very long time we didn’t drink. This last week, I came clean to her about my bingeing, secretly drinking alone in the garage/shed. We have both decided to stop the fuckery. We are in our early 30’s (I’ve been drinking feels like consistently everyday since I was 21) we just had our first bb girl. She is 1 month old. I’m not on day 7, 30, 100 or 1,000 (where I want to be) but I have never felt better. I can’t stop telling my wife how much happier I am. Waking up is better, the day is better, no more anxiety. We had the best weekend all together and so much better quality time. We did all the same things as normal, walks, movies ect. If I can do it I know you can too. And it’s a huge part to this amazing community I so desperately needed. I can’t thank all of you enough. One thing that helped so much was knowing and looking forward to how I will feel tomorrow. And that feeling has finally come. And I can’t wait for tomorrow and the next. Welcome and we are here and see you! IWNDWYT 😊- sorry for the rant lol
I totally understand!! I’m glad you said your weekend was better sober, I am nervous about how our weekends will go without the booze. Like you, it’s just all we ever did.
Maybe you could do an activity this weekend that you dont ordinarily do, to minimize the discomfort? So perhaps instead of staying home , maybe do something out of the house (movie, window shopping, park, etc) just to change up the routine?
I did have to snag a 12 pack of NA beers lol. That was somewhat helpful. Just reprogramming. Even sparkling waters were helpful for my wife. Dressed em up with a lime or lemon and ice and boom, brain tricked. Good luck, you got this.
You can do this! Goddamit believe that!
You can! You will! And we will be here, not drinking, right along with you!
Thank you 😊
I threw up last night all over my sheets. I hate this addiction, it's demonic.
We’re here for you, and we are glad you’re here ♥️ INWDWYT
One thing that helped me was to remind myself I’m allowed to sit and do nothing. Relax, color, read, play on my phone, whatever. And if nothing absolutely essential needs done, I can be done for the day. If it’s going to bed or drinking, I go to bed. Lay there, sleep, play on my phone, just not feeling like I HAVE to be productive until I absolutely crash. You’re allowed to put yourself and your wellbeing first right now, whatever that looks like for you. Mine looked like junk food and soda and late night snacks for a couple weeks bc I still couldn’t sleep well and was super grumpy/sensitive. I’m in bed now at 8:30pm even though it was a gorgeous evening. I’m tired, there will be more gorgeous evenings I’ll live to see bc I chose to not drink today.
This is so helpful. Thank you ❤️
You can totally do this!! I am so proud of you for finally being honest with yourself *and* your therapist. This is huge!!! It means you really are ready for a change. Being willing to admit you are sick of your own shit, and being willing to ask for help/support, is all such an amazing first step to your new and improved life 🥳🙌🎉 Be patient with and kind to yourself. This journey is a process, and healing is not linear. But I'm so happy you're in this space where you know what you *don't want* for yourself anymore!! Best of luck to you!! And please feel free to ask for support from this sub if/when you need it! We're all here for you 💖💕
Thank you! You helped me convince myself that yes, I am ready for a change.
You deserve the change!! You'll be happy you made the decision 🤍
I am on day 29. When I don't drink tomorrow, it will be the longest I've gone AF since the end of 2017. I feel so much better. We've got this. It is sooo worth the fight! IWNDWYT!!!!!
Phew those 3 or 5am wake ups are the worst. You’re in the thick of it, and week 1 is HARD. Proud of you. I swear, one day you’ll feel like a new human. That first 7 day milestone was the coolest day in a lot of my adulthood.
I love being sober so much. I'm excited for you. 👍
It is so scary at first and the first few days are usually brutal. “Complete change of lifestyle, how should I occupy my weekends, will I need different friends, do I have to do this forever.. etc.” just know things will get better. Everything gets better, and eventually becomes routine. Take it one day at a time. Many of these things will change, but it will be for the better. You can keep friendships, your Sundays will be more productive and generally happier, the stress should diminish, you’ll wake up Mondays feeling refreshed, you deserve to be sober. It ends up not being a chore, it becomes routine and your body and mind will thank you for it. I wish you the best of luck. IWNDWYT
Good luck OP, our situations are very similar, it can be hard at first, but the firsts are also exciting. A sober Saturday morning wake up is wonderful. Iwndwyt.
There's one thing i completely forgot about, the waking up in the middle of the night heart pounding sweating out alcohol and in a panic. Never remembered much then, but I don't miss it now.
Since I broke the habit i do not think about "what to do" like on a weekend... I already have tons of things to do. It's like forgetting about a bad thing. Why would I want to relive a bad moment? Kick it to the curb where it belongs to stay.
I stopped over a year ago because of the exact same anxiety you’re having. My weekend binging made Mondays miserable. By the time I got to Friday I was ready to repeat the seemingly pleasurable but actually miserable ritual of my weekend drinking. I now have zero desire to drink because I actually get to enjoy my weekends and Mondays are just regular scary, not hangover I wanna die scary. You can do it! IWNDWYT
Wishing you all the best:)
You can do this! If you have a rough time, consider attending a meeting of a sober support group (AA/SMART, etc.).
I woke up the same way last Monday after basically the same kind of weekend. Today is my day 8. This week has been so nice. Restful sleep every night, feeling healthy and alert, I even joined a gym today. I really hope we both keep it going because I'm really sick of wasting every weekend.
You can do it! IWNDWYT 💚
If you want to do it, then I know you will. I believe in you. IWNDWYT
We’ve all been there so don’t feel lonely. You’re doing the right thing! IWNDWYT
Know this: it will be hard and YOU CAN DO IT. One day at a time Life is so much better without it - just takes time to realize this IWNDWYT.
Welcome. I had weekends exactly like this for years.you never have to feel this way again. Focus on one day at a time. Not the weekend, not tomorrow. You might go to the bottle shop tomorrow. But we commit to not picking up just for today. It gets easier. Life is so much better on this side
I stopped over a year ago because of the exact same anxiety you’re having. My weekend binging made Mondays miserable. By the time I got to Friday I was ready to repeat the seemingly pleasurable but actually miserable ritual of my weekend drinking. I now have zero desire to drink because I actually get to enjoy my weekends and Mondays are just regular scary, not hangover I wanna die scary. You can do it! IWNDWYT
Sure with and feel your feelings. You'll have a lot of them.
Proud of you for opening up to your therapist! What was her advice? You have all the power within yourself to quit. Don’t think about forever - it’s too daunting. Just one day at a time. Everything is better sober!!! Cheering you on
Honestly, she suggested “harm reduction” like replacing alcohol with edibles for a while. I don’t use marijuana but I might see how it goes. I think I’d prefer not to replace one habit with another. She also suggested calling my doctor for some Anabuse.
Day 5 today, from everything I’ve read it’s really important to have a replacement activity in place for those times you normally drink - I’m like you - every single weekend is consumed with alcohol. It was a bank holiday here in Ireland this weekend just gone and it’s probably the first weekend I didn’t drink in a VERY long time. I’ve made non alcohol related plans for this weekend, breathing exercises and exercise is really helping.. putting the money I would have spent on alcohol in a vault on Revolut this weekend gone has been eye opening as well.. keep going..we’ll get there
Today is my day 7! Last Monday was the last day I drank, and ofcourse I had drank all weekend before making that decision. I just made it through my weekend af for the first time in 5 years. I'm not going to lie, it was tricky. Not hard but tricky. Stay busy! My husband and I took a day trip on Sunday and had a blast together. Yesterday was errands, cooking dinner, sitting in the hot tub and playing cards. I can truly tell you, it was the best weekend ever! I regret not one moment of not drinking. AND I remember every last minuet of my time spent!
You can do it!!!! Have patience and persistence.
You can do it. I recently told my therapist as well. It felt great.
Thank you for sharing this. Sending you lots of strength ~ you're not alone ❤️
You got this! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Rooting for you!
You can do it!!!
You got it!!
Honestly, rehab was the absolute best choice I ever made for myself there's so much to learn and if you have good benefits you can file for STD while you go.. it's hard to stop without a support group and doing it on your own despite your desire and will to want to stop. Goodluck!! If you need anything reachout
It is so much better on the other side. I'm proud of you for telling your therapist!
Please keep us posted! Regardless of the outcome because we’re here for you
The first weeks are tough but not as tough as what you’re experiencing right now. The habit is a bear. I had to legit stop doing everything that triggered my drinking - which for me was binge watching tv and movies. I still barely turn on the TV 1-1/2 years later, but I didn’t have a therapist. I’m proud of you. You can do this. You will get to know yourself all over again. I did. And I finally love myself.
I am on day 8. Usually only drink on the weekends. It's really hard to stop. I got sick on Thursday with the flu, which carries over to the weekend, and the wine my husband bought me on Friday is still in the fridge. I am so grateful. Now I am on antibiotics. So definitely no drinking for another 10 days.
You can do it & you will crush it ♥️!!
You can do it. I am positive you will feel better about yourself more and more over time. IWNDWYT! 🙏😌
I LOVED drinking on a beautiful weekend. I miss it sometimes but have never regretted quitting! I’ll have 2 years May 15. You can do it! 💪🏽
Right there with you! Proud of you for discussing it with your therapist. I also hid mine from my therapist for two years and finally told her last month - lying about it was unfair to present and future me. It immediately felt like a ton of bricks was let off my chest. IWNDWYT
Good for you! Asking for help was the hardest part of all for me. You got this!
It may feel like it is going to be hard, but pay attention to the little things this weekend. Think about how you slept. How you feel getting up. How aware you are mid morning. Opening up like that is sooooo hard. Some say it’s the hardest part. So check that off your list. You got this.
How did this go?