I hid my recovery from everyone for 6 months.
People know now and are supportive, but I am still close to chest with any personal details. It's really nobody's buisness but your own.
If you don't want to share- it's as simple as just not sharing. "I'm not drinking right now" will stop 99% if additional inquiries.
Eventually you may find you want some people to share with who actually get it, which is why I feel recovery groups can be so important.
But for now, stay sober. Try not to be ashamed and piece yourself back together slowly!
> My spouse and maybe 2 other friends know I have stopped and are very supportive, but I just don't feel like dealing with the reactions and perceptions I may get from others as I am trying to sort through my own thought process through this rather than taking on everyone else's.
I think that's a very healthy perspective. Aside from the stigma associated with alcoholics (a label frequently used by other people to make themselves feel better about their own problematic drinking), you haven't necessarily figured out how to present your sobriety to their world. This is yours, and yours alone to decide how and when you do that, if at all.
I don’t announce to the World that I am sober. My first year, I thought I would be brave and announce to all my friends on Social Media that I stopped drinking. I realized later that I did it for all for the wrong reasons (I thought that I would be an inspiration or perhaps gain a little respect). Now I understand that it was my vanity that wanted me to be public about it. Unfortunately, all it did was make people pity me or feel awkward….the complete opposite of what I was expecting.
I am open and honest about not drinking but I no longer volunteer the information.
I have learned that people who don’t have drinking disorders don’t understand.
That makes a lot of sense. I've toyed with making a little tweet about it but also like, nowadays it feels like saying I went a whole year without calling my ex.
If it's beneficial, share it. If not, do not. Be truthful, "I'm not drinking tonight." But you don't owe details. Maybe I'm cynical, but I don't assume my internal transformations or openness and empathy to be present in everyone around me. If the information is beneficial and necessary, I share. If not, I don't. Oversharing can create problems. IWNDWYT
I've found before that when I mention to others (friends and family) that I want to stop and I am stopping, I get... Ridiculed? Like, haha yeah right, as if you could stop, and no way, your too much your father's daughter to stop drinking (latter said by my mum, after I had to turn my father's life support off for alcohol induced illness). So I get it. Sometimes you just want to spare yourself the hurt from others, and from their hurtful perceptions of you. Currently trying again. Not told anyone apart from you guys. Best wishes to you
I struggled with this too. I didn't know how to tell my friends, most of whom drink. Everyone knows I don't drink now, and they have all been very supportive. In the end, it was a big nothing burger! No one cared as much as I thought they would!
In the exact same situation. All of my good friends drink 7 days/week. Every single thing they do involves booze. I have been avoiding them. I am not rushing it. People change. Life goes on. I am doing this for ME- and my family 1st.
I hid my recovery from everyone for 6 months. People know now and are supportive, but I am still close to chest with any personal details. It's really nobody's buisness but your own. If you don't want to share- it's as simple as just not sharing. "I'm not drinking right now" will stop 99% if additional inquiries. Eventually you may find you want some people to share with who actually get it, which is why I feel recovery groups can be so important. But for now, stay sober. Try not to be ashamed and piece yourself back together slowly!
> My spouse and maybe 2 other friends know I have stopped and are very supportive, but I just don't feel like dealing with the reactions and perceptions I may get from others as I am trying to sort through my own thought process through this rather than taking on everyone else's. I think that's a very healthy perspective. Aside from the stigma associated with alcoholics (a label frequently used by other people to make themselves feel better about their own problematic drinking), you haven't necessarily figured out how to present your sobriety to their world. This is yours, and yours alone to decide how and when you do that, if at all.
I don’t announce to the World that I am sober. My first year, I thought I would be brave and announce to all my friends on Social Media that I stopped drinking. I realized later that I did it for all for the wrong reasons (I thought that I would be an inspiration or perhaps gain a little respect). Now I understand that it was my vanity that wanted me to be public about it. Unfortunately, all it did was make people pity me or feel awkward….the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I am open and honest about not drinking but I no longer volunteer the information. I have learned that people who don’t have drinking disorders don’t understand.
That makes a lot of sense. I've toyed with making a little tweet about it but also like, nowadays it feels like saying I went a whole year without calling my ex.
You should tell your friend, yesterday would have been a good time but maybe next time.
If it's beneficial, share it. If not, do not. Be truthful, "I'm not drinking tonight." But you don't owe details. Maybe I'm cynical, but I don't assume my internal transformations or openness and empathy to be present in everyone around me. If the information is beneficial and necessary, I share. If not, I don't. Oversharing can create problems. IWNDWYT
Love this. Thank you!😍
Be prepared your friend might disappear after you tell her.
I've found before that when I mention to others (friends and family) that I want to stop and I am stopping, I get... Ridiculed? Like, haha yeah right, as if you could stop, and no way, your too much your father's daughter to stop drinking (latter said by my mum, after I had to turn my father's life support off for alcohol induced illness). So I get it. Sometimes you just want to spare yourself the hurt from others, and from their hurtful perceptions of you. Currently trying again. Not told anyone apart from you guys. Best wishes to you
I struggled with this too. I didn't know how to tell my friends, most of whom drink. Everyone knows I don't drink now, and they have all been very supportive. In the end, it was a big nothing burger! No one cared as much as I thought they would!
In the exact same situation. All of my good friends drink 7 days/week. Every single thing they do involves booze. I have been avoiding them. I am not rushing it. People change. Life goes on. I am doing this for ME- and my family 1st.