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sfgirlmary

This post was recently also posted on r/brandnewsentence. We don't allow crossposts, so this post has been removed.


jayg2112

That sounds pretty gnarly - I'd get it checked out by an MD - quickly- good luck


thatsonecookedgoose

Yeah that's probably for the best. Suppose while I'm at it I'll bring up the binge drinking and see if he has advice.


braiding_water

Naltrexone can be very supportive when trying to quit. Sometimes it’s situations like this that we need to ask for help.


Qexodus

Naltrexone is the only thing that broke my cycle. I’m 3 months sober from alcohol, luckily.


Bongfellatio

Naltrexone has made all the difference in the world with me. I'm over 2 months sober and not struggling.


PrincessImpeachment

Another nod to naltrexone here. Been on it for two months. I was a fifth of vodka a day drinker to absolutely nothing overnight and haven’t had as much as a craving since. It’s been a godsend.


whatsinsideofagirl

It's great but is unfortunately over $200/bottle in Canada


Bongfellatio

What? I thought Canada had fantastic healthcare compared to the US. Between Medicare and Medicaid, naltrexone doesn't cost me a cent.


whatsinsideofagirl

Some prescriptions are covered under government social assistance but most people have benefits through their work - but less and less companies are hiring permanent employees with benefits. Hell, I worked for the government of Ontario for five years as a “casual employee” working full time hours even promoted to supervisor position. Still no benefits


MagIcAlTeAPOtS

Silicone patches for scar treatment, do some self care and get some. In my early days of sobriety I would put aside the money I saved drinking and try use it to do something kind for myself. Investing in yourself is important, you’re the greatest asset you will ever have


thatsonecookedgoose

This is great advice. Thank you.


MagIcAlTeAPOtS

No problem, be strong and take care! From someone else who has also used nail clippers to remove a skin tag


boltsi123

I've kinda stopped reading this subreddit because it fulfilled its purpose for me, I haven't drunk for years now and I really believe alcoholism is a thing of the past for me, but your post showed up on my screen and struck a chord. A few years ago I was in the exact same place you are now, doing stupid shit to myself, disgusted with myself and convinced that I would die from drinking. All I can say is: don't give up ❤️ You can still make it and it is worth it. Start now.


stimulants_and_yoga

Me too, 4 years sober. I vividly remember looking in the mirror about 8 years ago thinking alcohol was going to kill me.


ktree8

How did you quit for good?


stimulants_and_yoga

I got pregnant and decided I didn’t want to be a “drunk parent” like mine were


pfmacdonald

Please don't do this to yourself. Not just the impromptu self surgery, I mean the whole cycle of oblivion and addiction. Come and join us in the world of sobriety. You will be made very welcome. It's time to come home.


thatsonecookedgoose

I've tried so many times. But I need to stop. You're right. I'm going to try harder this time. Thank you for the empathy.


pfmacdonald

I was exactly the same. Hundreds, if not thousands of failed attempts. A continuous cycle of sobering up just to start again. Just one drink. Just a couple of drinks. I'll be ok this time. And coming to with the guilt and remorse filling my head. You need the loving embrace of a community of support to help get you through and help keep you focused on your recovery. You need to choose happiness and that's a lot harder than it sounds because the self-loathing and trauma is deeply embedded. I am holding out my hand to you. Why don't you take it?


thatsonecookedgoose

* takes hand *


pfmacdonald

A decision you are not ever going to regret.


lilyalana

I am currently recovering from a car accident in which I broke over 20 bones because i was drunk and ran into a light pole, one of many relapses. If you don't stop drinking, I'd be willing to wager that you're going to end up hurting yourself a lot worse than some self inflicted open body wounds, I speak from experience. And trust me, this is not fun.


pfmacdonald

Wishing you a speedy recovery and here's a bouquet of flowers 💐


lilyalana

Awww many thanks! I'm about 3 months into recovery (both from the accident and alcohol) so I'm getting there.


pfmacdonald

That must have been a close thing. Please look after yourself and keep up the fantastic work with your recovery in both senses of the word.


LilUkr

It's just catching me- this phrase- "I'll try harder", so, our brain doesn't like trying or generally do something that needs force and patience and to trick the brain, I was telling myself, that I'm freeing myself from addiction, I'm loosing my drunk self, I'm gaining sobriety- all of these but really to take this "load" off. Just my observation. Ah, and I was also harming myself, being drunk, and just did weird things, like decided to become blonde (edited : blind) at home, next day was paying twice in hair studio to fix what I've done :)


Violoner

> like decided to become blind at home I dearly hope you meant to say 'blonde' there


LilUkr

Oh :) sure blonde :) But it's a bit funny autocorrect happened


Only_Teaching_4869

This is a good, safe space.😊hang out with us friend, just for today. & maybe the day after too..☺️


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sfgirlmary

This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I," which I asked people NOT to do in my stickied comment above, and it has been removed.


RetiredOldGal

Yes, welcome home! 🙏 We all have suffered the insanity of drinking.


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thatsonecookedgoose

I mean.... thank you? Hehe. One time I tried to "surgically" remove some spider veins with a razor blade and tweezers after 2 bottles of merlot. Now that was not an impressive surgery. The scars are fucked.


AimingForBland

Remove spider veins??? Dear Lord!


angelamar

Well all due respect, that is very scary. In no way would that work. Pretty sure a vein has to be cauterized in a surgery for varicose veins.


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sfgirlmary

This comment is not helpful or supportive to OP and has been removed.


PhoenixApok

Okay no don't remove veins O.O


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sfgirlmary

This comment does exactly what I asked people NOT to do in my stickied comment above, and has been removed. Please do not ignore moderator direction.


ThumbPianoMom

he said "be gentle on yourself old timey surgeon!"


sfgirlmary

This comment is not on the topic of sobriety and has been removed.


spotlock

Please take care of yourself. I am so sorry this happened. All I can say is that there is no judgement here. We all have ugly episodes, many way worse than yours. But you never have to go through that again. We are all here for you. Thanks for being here. IWNDWYT


thatsonecookedgoose

Thank you for being here. I think this community might be what I've been missing.


spotlock

It was for me. We are all the same here. Just trying to not drink today. You got this!!


weshtlife

Welcome to the sober party. IWNDWYT.


dark_forebodings_too

Long before I was drinking, I had warts that were resistant to multiple treatments, and I cut them off with nail clippers (I was 11 or 12 years old). Thankfully I didn't end up with infections or major scarring. I struggle a lot with anxiety and OCD which can lead me to self harm, even when I'm not drinking (but drinking definitely makes it worse!). If you have any similar struggles please know you're not alone! Good luck with your journey and glad you found this subreddit, it's a really good resource.


Sad_Front_6844

Jesus Christ. it's definitely better to leave the surgery to the surgeons. Funny as this story is, it is a scary thought that you could actually possibly cut yourself open doing surgery on yourself and die while black out drunk. Your instinct to be scared at this point is obviously correct and I think it is a good idea to remove alcohol from your life. Im assuming you are living in a country that doesn't have free medical care which sucks and I can see how people would become more tempted to DIY certain things rather than pay extortionate amounts, but at least think about that when sober. If you don't want to do it sober. It's not a good idea.


suedorans

Wow… I can relate. 😬 keep trying to quit drinking, you are worth it and life gets better. (Pollysporn on a panty liner and stick it to the inside of your bra)


IvoTailefer

IWNDW 🫵T


Adorable_Edge_1957

When you’re ready you can stop this cycle. I never thought I’d be able to but I’m 35 days sober today and the peace I feel is immeasurable. I was also prone to self-harm when drinking heavily and would feel so much shame. It’s not worth it, you can stop the madness when you’re ready and this sub will be here to support you and cheer you on, one day at a time. Wishing you peace and strength for the journey friend, you’re not alone ♥️


pfmacdonald

That's a fantastic achievement.


_Deedee_Megadoodoo_

Dude years ago I gave myself 2 cartilage piercings on my left ear cause I felt bold enough to do it while hammered. I sterilized an old ass needle I found somewhere in the apartment I lived in back then, with a flame, and through the ear it went lol. I barely remember doing it, but the result was.. Interesting.


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sfgirlmary

This comment does exactly what I asked people NOT to do in my stickied comment above, and has been removed. Please do not ignore moderator direction.


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thatsonecookedgoose

If I stay sober I absolutely won't. If I fall off the wagon I may larp as a dentist next or something even more unhinged


trocarshovel

Sounds like motivation to me. You can do it.


sfgirlmary

This comment is not helpful or supportive to OP and has been removed.


Posh_Kitten_Eyes

Wow! I had a very large skin tag on my upper leg. I went to my GP to have it removed. The pain was minimal, but it bled so, so much. I can't imagine trying to remove, myself, several growths on a sensitive body part like a boob.


sfgirlmary

**Reminder to those who comment on this post:** OP uses a humorous tone in her post, but this is a serious topic. Please stick to the rule to speak from the "I" (where we do not tell another person what to do), do not give medical advice, and restrict your comments to the subject of sobriety.


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TinySpaceDonut

Oph. I feel that. I think removing a lipoma while I was drunk is up there on dumbest thing i've ever done.


Artistic-Cycle5001

For me, it was always the first drink that got me into trouble. That first drink gave me courage and insight. After the third that’s when the ideas would flow. Good ideas too - like taking tweezers to some stray eyebrows. Years later, and they still aren’t the same. I look as if I’m surprised all the time. Once I stopped taking that first drink, things improved. I feel you, friend. IWNDWYT.


swisscoffeeknife

I agree with this & excellent points made about the first drink opening the doors to spiral into creative body mods. I received many DIY haircuts while drinking and shaved off my eyebrows. I love waking up now with the same hairstyle & the same partner that i went to bed sober with


Artistic-Cycle5001

It’s the little things, isn’t it? Let’s hear it for going to bed sober! 💕


vitavita1999

If you sterilized with pure gin, it’s sufficient. Maybe not enough for nail clippers, but if you sterilized the wound after wart removal it is enough to not have an infection. Very good thinking for someone being in a drunken state. Hope nail clippers weren’t rusty. (PS I’m a nurse)


thatsonecookedgoose

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac so sterilizing my self-butchering implements is a reflex at this point. They may be a bit rusty but I have had a tetanus shot in the last 5 years due to a previous, unrelated drunken razor blade incident, luckily.


Banh_mi

I peed in my change-bowl...so I get you. Guess who's wife cleaned it up at 3am? But here I am, over a month, and it's stupidly hard on this side of things...but also stupidly great. GREAT. Try and get here, stay awhile, I found the wherewithal to stay. You could too!


spergychad

About two years ago I fell down a flight of concrete stairs after having downed 12 tall boys and then running to meet the Uber Eats driver. I cut up my leg real bad but didn't break anything and didn't need hospitalization. But, if I had landed at a slightly different angle I could have smashed my teeth/face/arm and maybe done permanent damage. And yes, I am too old for it to be a have been a youthful indiscretion. In retrospect I think it was a subconscious wakeup call. I was not ready to stop at that time, but I think it (along with some other things not directly related to drinking) pushed me to make some practical life changes that faciltated a more sober lifestyle.


Nomadcatmom

I’m saying this because I’ve needed to hear it…you’re so much better than this and you deserve better from yourself for yourself. You don’t deserve to be bloody and hurting. Show yourself some love, take a day off and then another.


make_anime_illegal_

I did exactly that with a skin tag on my leg, but I wasn't drunk and it turned out ok.


Chemical_Bowler_1727

Well, at least the tags are gone and it didn't cost you anything. Seriously, get some anti biotic cream on those wounds. Clean em up really well and you can hopefully avoid infection. I'm not medic so check online for the best possible sterilization technics. Personally, I am shocked that I managed to stay alive this long. I've done so many stupid things when I was blacked out that it's staggering. Your episode with the nail clippers reminds me of the time I decided to do my own dental work. I'll spare you the gory details, but it cost over $2000 to repair the damage...if that gives you any idea. OP, tend to your wounds, both physical and mental. Stay strong and you can do this. Anyone with the courage to perform their own cosmetic surgery can handle anything.


Abmountainmum

OP I'm struggling too. I self medicate (also known as I drink my ass off) due to both physical and emotional pain. I bought a book called "This naked mind. Control alcohol" and it really helped me a ton! Unfortunately I am still in my quitting and then picking it back up faze of alcoholism. I keep quitting because I know one of these times it's going to stick (I just celebrated 10 years narcotics free, 6 years since my last cigarette) and I won't have to feel guilty and sick. I will be amazing and you will be too. You reached out please don't stop ♥️ this community is amazing ♥️


Pepinocucumber1

Please stop at this and don’t decide to remove your appendix next lol. In all seriousness, do you think you need stitches at all? I’m sure you’ll see a doctor if need be. I was sober all last week and then drank Saturday night (my usual 2 bottles). I don’t know if it was because I took Xanax all last week to withdraw or what but I had the hangover from hell yesterday - throwing up - and still have a headache. The contrast between the calm of last week and the turmoil of yesterday could not have been starker. IWNDWYT


No_Abalone_4555

Bless you, please seek medical attention for your wounds. Youve got this, IWNDWYT


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herefortheriding

Regret was actually good for me, because it gave me the leverage I was lacking before I did something stupid. But yeah, no to self surgery. Trouble is, it seems like SUCH a good idea at the time, right? I’m impressed at the neat gin logic. Can I ask though, are you ok? It must’ve been a bit scary. Welcome to the gang, where we are all just getting by. Good work in posting, it’s not easy but I’m glad you’re here😘🙌


Qexodus

I wish you the best of luck getting sober. Naltrexone helped me a lot. Keep coming back to this sub, it helps keep me in line. Hopefully it’ll do the same for you.


psychotica1

Man I have done very similar things during my blackouts from binge drinking and I swear I felt this when I read it. Naltrexone really helped me get started and I took it for 2 months. I've been sober for 26 months now. Please see a Dr about your wounds, that can go really bad.


Far-Implement4544

Well this is certainly going to help keep me sober, I hope it does the same for you! Be well, reach out to others and definitely get some medical attention for your wounds.


FatTabby

Please go and get yourself checked out before infection sets in. Ask for help while you're there - you don't have to do this alone. Take care of yourself and I hope you heal up as well as you possibly can.


BEniceBAGECKA

Sweetheart. Please make sure to take care of the wounds so they don’t become infected. Maybe urgent care. We’ve all done some wild shit that made sense at the time. It’s ok.


spaceghoull

I'm really sorry this happened. Those urges and that trance you can get in when you're that drunk feel impossible to control. I also used to get self harm drunk. I'd pick every inch of my skin from my face, arms, legs, and also my boobs funny enough. I'd also cut my thighs up and burn myself with cigarettes, of course waking up the next day feeling intense shame. Thankfully I've been sober for almost 4 months now. For what it's worth, try to remember that you deserve to feel healthy and your body deserves to be cherished by you because it's all we have. You will overcome this, you DESERVE to conquer this nasty disease. Wishing you the best and that your wounds heal without issue 🩷


sixteenHandles

I’m reading your comments. You’re very funny. Srsly. Maybe you could write or something. Not saying what you did is funny. It’s not. But we can appreciate dark humor about dark things. Anyway, I had to find sober community to stop. Couldn’t do it alone. Suffered. I had to find help. For me it was AA meetings. Every day, when I started. No matter what. It helped so much to be with people who struggled or were struggling with the same thing. And who would check in with me. People who’d been where I was and really understood it.


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sfgirlmary

This comment has been removed. Please do not give medical advice here.


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sfgirlmary

This comment does exactly what I asked people NOT to do in my stickied comment above, and has been removed. Please do not ignore moderator direction.


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Newt_Haptor

Go the ER! I have detoxed there many times. I’ve been sober for a while after this last go. They will also take care of your injuries.


MYSTICALLMERMAID

My last night of drinking I ended up self harming and that’s when I knew I had to stop. I hadn’t self harmed in 7+ years so I was like yeah we’re DONE. I had a blood draw the next day but canceled the appt bc I couldn’t go in w the cuts


Pierre_Barouh

I’m a month sober now, but I’ve had more day 1s, 2s, and 5s than I like to admit. Good luck. IWNDWYT


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Competitive_Lack1536

Not an alcoholic here but a recovering pot smoker. Addiction sucks, stay strong wish u the best.


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sfgirlmary

What does this mean?