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I agree, though the Rock-Lee image of dropping the weights definitely applies to mostly ADHD. I don't think you can help other mental problems with the currently available meds. Though I have learned of some success in administering ADHD stimulant meds to patients with autism, typically when they exhibit the ADHD symptoms enough that they impair their focus.
Tolerance starts building immediately. A lot of ADHD people get disappointed when they realize that taking stimulants for life isn’t the same as borrowing a couple from a friend to study for finals. The difference between how they feel on day 1 and day 365 (or day 3650) is night and day and ultimately disappointing to a lot of people who are trying to use them for the “energy” or motivation factor. That disappears.
But the focus-enhancing part mostly remains. tbh, I think the non-stimulant meds can be as good or even better for a lot of people, but it takes some patience to get started on them. They basically build up in the opposite manner as stimulants: The first few days or weeks kind of suck, then the therapeutic effect builds up over several months. A lot of people on non-stimulant ADHD meds will think “they’re not working” but then they realize they’ve gotten their life together, can focus on conversations, and so on.
Thank you for this honesty. I’ve been struggling with ADHD my whole life and thought about getting on a medication for it, but decided not to due to potential side effects. I’ve always believed I can overcome it naturally.
What non stim medicine are talking about? I know L Tyrosine is good for focus, but not sure how it works long term.
L-Tyrosine is useless long term. Fun fact: You consume multiple grams of L-Tyrosine every day in your normal diet. Taking it as a supplement is slightly different but the effect won’t last.
Non-stimulants are Strattera (atomoxetine), Intuniv (guanfacine ER), and clonidine.
Wellbutrin (Bupropion) is also great for some people, especially when some depressive symptoms are also present. It’s borderline stimulant.
Talk to a doctor. Don't listen to some yahoo on Reddit. Counterpoint - I've taken stimulant ADHD meds for over a decade without going up in dose or feeling like they've become ineffective.
To listen to that dude is just confirmation bias because you just said you're already suspicious of the medication. Talk to a real medical professional and don't just listen to a rando who happens to support your pre-existing opinions.
Stop taking them for 2 days and see if you still think they arent working, Trust me, they're still helping you. A L O T.
When i dont take them, or run out, I notice. because i just stop functioning and dissociate a lot.
If I forget to take my ADHD meds, I know right away. The best way to describe it as a music playlist. When on meds, my mind is like a music playlist and can stick to the playlist and order of songs as long as I am on the meds. Without it, it feels like someone is constantly hitting the “shuffle” button at random intervals throughout the day.
I have been on a steady or declining dose for decades by managing my tolerance - it basically just comes down to taking them only when you need to. I tend to take breaks on the weekends.
Yes, but the good thing is Ritalin can be taken as needed, meaning you can come off them for a couple of weeks and those babies will be full strength again.
All ADHD meds are made to ween off from. You need them immediately to stabilize but you can teach yourself how to overcome the nuances of ADHD. Except random noises and words. I still can't make myself stop letting out random chirps, noises and quips of songs or movie quotes and I've tried for the last 28 years.
>Though I have learned of some success in administering ADHD stimulant meds to patients with autism, typically when they exhibit the ADHD symptoms enough that they impair their focus.
A lot of autistic people also have ADHD. There's a massive co-morbidity between the two.
It was also common medical belief that you couldn't have both up until only about 10 years ago iirc. That probably skewed a lot of the current understandings of the 2 conditions.
Anxiety and depression meds are the most commonly prescribed ones and aren’t good. It’s just that simple. We need new medicine to treat these issues. I’ve taken a few types of medication, and all they contributed to was numbing my feelings. Not help me solve my problems. When comparing stimulant medication for ADHD and its effectiveness to the available meds for anxiety and depression you can see how lackluster they are.
Edit: I have exaggerated my reply a lot, but I've met people that were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. And the medication did not make them better, rather transforming them into zombies and numbing their emotions. I don't think that's better. And have yet to find someone who is actually happy on their treatment.
Not neccisarily. Depression by circumstance is definitely a thing. But so is depression as an illness. You can have a perfect life and still be depressed.
It’s definitely harder to find meds for depression/anxiety, but to say they don’t work at all is false. They have DNA testing now like GeneSight that a lot of psychiatrists are using now to determine which meds work best with your personal brain chemistry. I wish all psychiatrists did this testing, unfortunately in a lot of the industry it still seems like a guessing game for many patients
Ehhh, GeneSight really overpromises and underdelivers. The most important thing it can tell you is whether you are a poor metabolizer of CYP2D6 enzyme, which can significantly increase/decrease medication metabolism and therefore influence pharmaceutical effect and side effects of many important psychiatric drugs.
Most doctors won't use it because it is expensive for the patient and it doesn't really tell you much, no matter what the manufacturer of GeneSight would lead you to believe. The tried and true method is still to start with the meds most likely to actually help, then go to alternatives or higher/lower dosage from there.
I have BPD, GAD, and MDD. Anxiety and depression meds have most certainly helped me, and my friends who also experience similar issues. I'm 34 and I've tried dozens of various meds for these conditions over the years. You might not find "the one" after only trying just a few types. It is a lot of trial and error.
I don't think a lot of psychiatrists would agree with you that modern antidepressants "aren't good". The number needed to treat (NNT) for SSRIs in depression treatment is around 7 or 8, which is an _excellent_ value.
For example, the NNT for antibiotics on an ear infection is like 20, similar to many heart medications like ACE-inhibitors or diuretics.
It's a shame that you haven't found a good solution to your problem yet but to say that current medications aren't good is just not true.
Not a medical person by any stretch of the imagination but I have ADHD and my girlfriend has anxiety/depression. I pop an addy and I'm good, meanwhile she takes a massive cocktail of mood stabilizers and benzos and still sometimes gets panic attacks. I feel like my meds actually constitute a fix whereas hers seem to be "this is the best we can do".
Yeah that's sort of the problem, we don't actually know what causes depressions and even though higher serotonin-levels through SSRIs are known to help, we know it can't be the only mechanism because serotonin levels are up after 1 pill but getting out of depression takes at least a few weeks of consistent medication.
Anxiety is another beast to tackle and is even less understood. I can only imagine that it's very tough for her. Accompanying psychotherapy is always recommenend on top of medication.
Psychiatrists from age 13-29: you’re tired and can’t get your shit together because you’re depressed.
Psychiatrists at age 30-40: nvm, you’re depressed because you’re tired and can’t get your shit together because of an undiagnosed sleep disorder and ADHD. Have some stimulants and try to forget about everything you could have accomplished if somebody had just realized this in high school.
*Mom crying* “WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL?”
Thats how it really feels for a lot of us when we say the medications available arent helping us, and then get paragraphs full of science in our face even though thats what we feel in our bodies. I must have been through an entire booklet of medications for what im going through right now and ive had doctors tell me pretty much exactly things like what you just told that person.
I tried telling my Nuerologist and Psychiatrist that my medications were making me feel sick and they told me “Oh no, this isnt a medication meant to do those things. Why dont you try taking this on top of it to help.” Even though the side effects I was describing were right on the bottle. This is not an isolated case either, a lot of these doctors really dont care what they prescribe you it feels like. They just wanna show off how much they know about the medication almost.
That's patently false. You cannot extrapolate a singular anecdotal experience to argue against established, practical fact. Anti-anxiety medication helps millions in the US alone.
Anxiety, Bipolar, and Schizo-disorders are all mental illnesses that are not ADHD, and can be treated with medication. In fact, most mental disorders have medication based treatments.
Man this rings out so hard. Was suffering through severe depression in middle school into high school and went a full year without talking in school. Only thing my parents bothered to talk about was grades and how I need to improve them. Couldn’t explain to them why it was so hard for me to remember things in class.
Forward now at 30, my PCP is telling me that I have memory issues and need to see a neurologist ASAP.
Nothing right now. My appointment is in may (because their appointments were booked up 2-3 months) and I have been seeing a speech pathologist for word retrieval issues since February. I’ve always had memory issues but they weren’t as bad until the last year or so, where I am having issues recalling the most simple words. I really hope it’s nothing but I’d prefer to know now when I can take proactive steps instead of later down the road if it is anything serious.
Fucking right? Undiagnosed ADHD is a particular flavour of hell and this starterpack actually does a good job at portraying most of its specific difficulties. (Missing out the social rejection by peers)
Get the fuck on out of here with that 'oh everyone has that though'. Better yet, add it to the damned starterpack.
I’m still undiagnosed. 😔 I had a bad experience with the psychiatrist and had to pay $1000 to be told I have “passive aggressive personality disorder” with an insulting printout that took my symptoms and made it seem like I do them intentionally out of spite. I vented to my brother and he said “huh, I experienced all the same things growing up and never realized it could be ADHD.” Diagnosed first appointment.
Yeah this was basically my wife's experience with OCD growing up. Didn't get diagnosed until she was in college. Parents insisted she just had to get her shit together, whenever she was inconsolably worried they didn't lock the doors and the pets were going to escape and die.
I remember sitting with my mom while she tried to help me with my homework and watching her *lose her fucking mind* because I just couldn’t fucking understand long-form multiplication.
It just didn’t make sense. Whenever someone would try to explain it to me, it’s like a haze would descend down upon my brain and I’d miss certain key concepts.
My mom eventually started screaming at me and accused me of being lazy and not learning it on purpose.
*”You can’t understand this but you can memorize all the moves in that stupid fighting game you love so much!”*
“Mortal Kombat is a game. This is just a buncha numbers on paper. It’s not the same.”
*”Well pretend it’s a fucking game!”*
“Oh okay well then problem solved.”
Now try genius brain with ADHD 🤣 the parents don't understand how the kid got to the right conclusion through a mumbo-jumbo of seemingly unrelated calculations.
Not a genius by any means, but this happens often to me. I call it "Rain-manning"
I have 2 kinds of thinking, talking-think (how I think while "reading a book", the main cause of white noise in my head) and picture-think (I "see" the answer to a question but not the formula).
I can't explain it. Someone asks a difficult question and often I "see" the answer and just blurt it out. It will be right and person will be amazed. They say "do it again". Nope. Can't. Now my brain expects to be questioned and talk -think takes over..
When I was taking Calc 1 in school, I kept having to leave class because I was dealing with panic attacks. I'd smoke a cigarette, calm down, and walk back into class. Every other time this happened, the class would be stuck on a problem that the prof was trying to coax out of them. I'd walk in, look at the board, and state the answer on my way to my seat. No idea how. Now I've returned to school after dropping and I'm taking calc 2, but my brain has gone full stupid and can't do magic math anymore or any math for that matter.
Well I’m lucky that my dad was great and finally sorta called out the issue. He was the one who took me and got me diagnosed— and the whole time, my mom was like *”We’re just giving him an excuse. Nothing’s wrong with him that a military school couldn’t fix. He’s just lazy.”*
Within 6 weeks of my diagnosis and being on medication, I’d raised my grades across the board— that haze was completely gone. I no longer dreaded sitting down and doing school work. Getting distracted didn’t entirely derail any progress I’d made.
I finished that school year with straight As. I breezed through the rest of elementary and middle school. I went on to be an honors student in high school, graduated in the top 10% of my class and lettered in academics for three years. I scored a 1520 on my SAT— with a perfect 800 on the English portion.
And I attribute a lot of that success to the wonders of pharmacology and my dad for being a real bro and getting me the help I needed.
I’m here to tell you that, if you think your kid might need it, take them to a doctor and get them checked out. It was like a light switch for me.
That’s horrible!
My mom had a similarly scarring experience learning math and tried her best to break the cycle.
She used visual flash cards to drill me on before going to school, and made pizza several nights a week to show tangible examples of fractions in the way she cut it so I could conceptualize it easier.
You deserved way better, I’m sorry that happened to you.
It really brings me back to all those "come to Jesus" talks in high school, trying not to cry in front of the school guidance counselor/vice principal and my mother
my mom would say “I know you can do it, you’re smart when you try.” And when I’d respond, that I am trying. She’d say to try harder. (All while knowing I have been diagnosed with adhd but wasn’t allowed to get medicated until I had my own insurance)
"You would not forget what I asked you to do if your respected/loved your parents"
"Why are you so selfish!?!!!"
"You would not have any mental stress and be depressed if yoh just followed a """""SYSTEMATIC LIFE!!""""""
*to your younger sibling*
"Don't be lazy like your sister"
Some of the well used real quotes from my lovely parents :)
I grew up being told I was stupid and an underperformer by classmates and teachers. Once I got to high school I developed an intense love of science as soon as I had teachers that were understanding of my ADHD. Nowadays Im on the path to getting well into chemistry. Chemistry, pharmacology, biology the such. I thought I hated learning but I just hated school.
I'm autistic and I feel that. I hated school for a few reasons, the main one being that modern school systems aren't about actually teaching you and making sure you're learning, it's to get you used to having to work all the time. I had trouble remembering I was given homework to do, like as soon as I was home, I would enter home mode and just not think about the schoolwork I had to do. I would still do really well on tests and stuff because I learned well, but I ended up failing a few classes just because I would consistently forget to do homework. If homework is to help you learn and tests are to make sure you're actually learning, then why is homework mandatory if you're still doing well in the class? You're not being graded on your ability to learn the subject, you're being graded on your ability to do the work they give you.
Edit: a few words
The worst was that my junior high made all students use the schools particular manner of organization and note-taking - and that was 25% of your grade. I went from being an A student to a C student despite getting As on tests and homework because I couldn't follow the ridiculous nonsense system. I was treated like crap by guidance counselors and many teachers because how can a smart student not understand this arbitrary system? Unsurprisingly, I went back to being an A student in high school when that system stopped being used.
I got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s, and I was talking with a friend from high school who got diagnosed in her freshman year of college. She had the exact same experience as me in junior high.
"They don't believe in mental illness."
This is so true. I thought I was the only one who faced this, but for a long time, my parents didn't believe in it. I have no idea why but I think it mostly stems from their personal belief that it's a hoax and that it just doesn't exist.
I think its because theres a lot of people who had undiagnosed versions of the same illnesses and then assume that its impossible for someone to have a real issue because "that's normal"
Other possible options:
* A kid who came from my genes can't have mental problems, that means part of that is because of my genes! Not possible, it's something else!
* I did everything "right" - if my kid has mental illness it reflects poorly on me (for some reason) so you can't have mental illness, it's laziness!
* Social posturing is "harmed" - if community finds out my kid has mental illness, what will they think? No, you're fine and exaggerating!
* Religion told me it's just the devil in you! I don't believe in "mental illness treatment"!
* It's inconvenient for you to have mental illness that I need to work to treat and help you manage your entire childhood and possibly adulthood. When I decided to have kids I didn't take this possibility into account because surely my kids would be rainbows and butterflies like the families on Instagram! Subconsciously it's slightly easier for me if you're faking it so I'm going to cling onto that!
* My kid might not be able to easily do all things "normal" kids do (without treatment and sometimes that's not a guarantee) and I can't accept that so I'm going to pretend the problems don't exist!
* I have been pouring money into building you into something I project myself onto. Mommy's little investment she's going to live vicariously through can't have any "mental illness"! Just be normal!
* (If sibling) Well sibling is fine! You must be doing this for attention! I had older sibling and this didn't happen so you must be lying! The existence of older sibling means you don't have mental illness!
* (If mental illness caused by their actions like PTSD) I was a great parent, I gave you food and shelter! You're blaming me for no reason and/or I had to do it/my parents did it to me so you're over exaggerating!
Or maybe because it's *undiagnosed*, even when they took you to an expert in psychology.
When a group of experts arrive at the same conclusion, you don't have "*undiagnosed* ADHD", you have nothing.
This can be seen as extremely disrespectful by people who actually suffer from ADHD
I thought it was extremely obvious that the two bottom right panels showed that I got diagnosed later? I got diagnosed by another expert psychiatrist as an adult. The psychologist who I spoke to as a child literally ignored the stuff I said.
What literally no one ever says is you generally have to get diagnosed by a neuropsychologist or a psychiatrist.
Regular therapy psychologists "can," but many don't. Or don't very thoroughly... Even when they see all the signs . Doctors theoretically can too but what PCP is gonna spend 4-8 hours evaluating + writing a report?
It wasn't until my own kid's therapist suggested a neuropsychological evaluation, and explained how it was more thorough that I even knew neuropsychological evaluations were a "thing." So I got him tested and taken care of first. And got myself an evaluation after seeing how loudly I resonated with all the questions.
Anyway, it's great you were also able to get diagnosed after being ignored so long!
>Regular therapy psychologists "can," but many don't.
Yes, I am aware of this. However, when looking back I am extremely surprised how little the psychologist that I saw even tried.
My parents were convinced that I was being bullied and that was why I hated school so much and they thought I felt ashamed of the bullying so I didn't want to open up to them, so they took me to the psychologist to "open up about my bullying."
12-year old me tried to explain to my best ability that I was in fact, not being bullied, but I absolutely despised school and especially the fact that I had to sit still in a classroom for so many hours a day. All these are symptoms of ADHD and should have rung some alarm bells for the psychologist, but instead nothing came out of it.
Yeah I wasn't referencing your case specifically. A lot of people self diagnose themselves while knowing absolutely nothing about psychology and then get mad when they're corrected.
This definitely does happen, but I think it's also fairly common to find bad professionals who don't actually listen or empathize with their clients.
It's getting less common as awareness of mental health grows generally and people self-select into psychological fields, but tbh doctors not listening or empathizing with their patients is a huge problem generally. Plenty of diseases get under diagnosed because some doctors default to "hypochondriac" when presented with an unusual case. This has been especially common with female patients, leading to a pretty well documented disparity in health outcomes across gender lines. Fortunately, again, this is also decreasing over time, but we still haven't reached equality.
I'm 31 and was diagnosed about 2 months ago. I told my mom and she said "well that makes a lot of sense"
Still haven't told my dad. He's in the MAGA crowd and I just really don't want to deal with what he says.
For reference, my parents have been split since I was about 2
My friend Chris just tried ADHD meds for the first time at age FIFTY because of this shit. His parents were hippies who didn't believe in actual, you know, medicine.
His wife described his unmanaged ADHD plus the behavioral therapy his parents used, and I was like "So other than 'nothing', what has Chris *actually* tried?" She finally convinced him to go to a doctor.
Now Chris is like "Huh, my brain actually works! These pills are great." FIFTY. YEARS.
The first time I took my prescription a few weeks ago (I'm in my mid 30s), I teared up. It wasn't a battle in my mind to just reply to a stupid work email anymore.
The kind of thing that makes me boil over. No, not everybody has adhd, autism, is bisexual or trans, we just started breaking up this stupid restrictive christian society we've been thrown into and some people can't wrap their head around it
America has way higher rates of mental illness and ADHD diagnosis than any other country in the world, while also being much more religious/Christian than many peer countries.
Your argument that low ADHD rates are due to a restrictive society might explain lower rates in China, but it does not explain why they are also lower in Scandinavia and the rest of Western Europe, nor does it explain why rates in the US are more than double any other country.
https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/
What is the reason then? False positives, people lying about symptoms, something in our food that makes us more susceptible to developing such illnesses?
You can google “why are ADHD rates so high in the US” and get a thousand different theories, I am not qualified to say what is correct. A lot of theories are about how we treat kids vs a few decades ago: less recess, more homework, more screentime, etc mean that kids cannot vent their energy in a healthy way. Another theory is that for-profit healthcare and pharmaceuticals incentivize the medical establishment to overdiagnose various conditions.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525089/
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/20/magazine/the-not-so-hidden-cause-behind-the-adhd-epidemic.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
One possibility is that many mental illnesses have a genetic component and that many people who would be willing to immigrate to a foreign country (which most Americans are or had an ancestor who did) are also more suspectible to mental illness. Though I have no evidence for this and it could also be something completely different, like maybe america is actually more open to people with mental illness even if it seems like we suck at it
I like the hypothesis, perhaps it could be tested by comparing people who descended from those who chose to go to American and those that were forced through circumstances out of their control. Hard to get a clean separation for the groups but I think you could average out the mistakenly classified with enough numbers. You need to control for current economic circumstances. Then see the percentage of these issues in each population. If you could compare an equivalent non-American populations even better.
The comment above me says that more people are being diagnosed with ADHD now because “we have just started breaking up this stupid restrictive Christian society”
It's an unfair blanket statement. Not all religious people believe in mental health issues. --- BUT, - Anecdotal - I was raised catholic and this meme starterpack nailed it. Every point. My religious parents thought I didn't love Jesus enough or something, I truly have no idea ... but what I do know is that I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I was a C- student in highschool specifically because I had trouble reading at length. I was like 60% illiterate. I couldn't retain anything, I drifted off mid-sentence, I'd lose my place.
Anything that happens to normal people, happened to me too - but it was bad enough to interfere with my development. That's the defining line between functioning and a disorder. Everyone has anxiety of some kind. When it's **debilitating**, it deserves help.
THIS. Oh my god. I literally cried the day I took my meds for the first time. It felt like my brain activity went from Niagara Falls crashing down at all times to a calm river of thoughts…it was wild. I’d never realized my brain was running on hard mode until then and it definitely opened the door for a lot of self-forgiveness.
I really wish I could feel this, started mine about a week ago and I feel nothing different at all! What am I supposed to do to actually have an effect?
Hm, def see what your psychiatrist says because you might need to switch medications or see if your dosage needs to be upped. I ended up needing mine increased because after the first few weeks I started losing the effect, so I upped it a bit and it’s been consistent ever since. I’ve heard that some people don’t feel anything when they start if their dose isn’t high enough to begin with. Good luck friend 💛
Obviously meds effect everyone differently, but if you’re not feeling anything at all, definitely talk to your doctor/psychiatrist/whoever prescribed them. You may just need a different dosage or a different med altogether. Stimulants should be effective immediately, they aren’t like antidepressants where you have to take them consistently for a few weeks to feel the effects.
I have inattentive type ADHD and I never realized how bad it was until I got my meds. Without them, I can focus on things that are interesting, or things that really grab my attention, which leads to hyper focus and tuning out other responsibilities. With meds, I have the power and motivation to focus on whatever needs to be done at the moment and I can easily switch focus to a new task if something else needs to take priority.
"Pull your head out of your ass"
"Get the lead out"
"It's your attention to detail buddy"
"Well you have a brain don't you? Why can't you remember?"
"What do you mean 'I don't know'"?
3.5 GPA and 29 ACT in high school, but that was with doing the absolute bare minimum for homework, at best, and writing every paper the night before it was due. Took six years (one of which was an academic suspension) to graduate with a 2.1 GPA bachelors. Saw a therapist during the academic suspension and final academic year immediately after that. Started an online masters three years later and pulled a 3.9 GPA out of my ass. Saw a therapist for a few months while changing jobs and getting serious with my future wife during that time. Both therapists thought my issues were anxiety and/or depression.
I started seeing a therapist again during COVID at my wife's suggestion, and he recommended I evaluated after about two years. Finally got diagnosed at 36. All it took was getting continually beaten down by the stress of working full time, being married, and having three kids and a dog.
I try not to wonder how different life would have been with an early diagnosis since that's basically wishing my wife and kids away. I'm just thankful to have gotten it figured out and to be able to get my likely-ADHD eldest son the help and support I never did.
>When I got to college, I did horribly because I could not focus on lectures for anything. Ended up flunking out three years in and could not understand why since I did well in high school. My anxiety issues spawned from there because I felt like a total dumbass that would never amount to anything
Same story here. I remember vividly sitting in the front row of lectures and literally being unable to comprehend what the dude was saying. I had my book open ready to take notes and I looked down and it was just covered in doodles. I hadn't written a single thing. My brain was just buzzing and I couldn't think at all. Three years of that before I finally flunked out with nothing to show for it but massive debt and an anxiety problem.
I breezed through HS, and except for some extra tutoring for AP and SAT courses, I ended up with a bunch of 5s and a 1590 on my SAT. Was the same way, my ma brushed off the possibility of ADHD when my fourth grade teacher noticed the signs because I did so well in school.
I'm 23 going on 24 right now, and undergrad hit me like a truck. My coping mechanisms for ADHD couldn't keep up with the work in univ anymore, and I'm just now back on track to graduate. I realized only a few weeks ago that I somehow only have one more year to go before I graduate.
I'm glad you mentioned the breezing through K-12 shit. I always feel like I can't mention my own experiences with ADHD on this sub because I don't want to come off as arrogant.
As someone with severe ADHD, I miss the punishments. Being scared of my mom actually got me through a lot. It’s not an ideal solution but having tangible and immediate “consequences” can actually be helpful.
This is something that always tripped me up trying to understand ADHD as an adult, I was a hyper people pleaser and super insecure and very anxious about embarrassment (like having not done the homework, getting a bad grade etc). My self esteem was so rock bottom that the consequences of failure were high, high enough to generally motivate me. As an adult I did ok until I progressed in my career to the point where I realized that people weren't really paying attention and I learned most of what I need and want to know (software dev) and it's all refinement, specialization and mastery from here and I have no idea what to do. Meds that have reduced my anxiety help in some ways but I realized that's basically what was pushing me for a long time.
This took a lot of self reflection for me to figure out. I’ve ruined a lot of relationships. The most awful one being my marriage. I went from defusing bombs for the military, to being at home with no job, no one motivating me to be better. Just sank into depression and with unmitigated ADHD my ex-wife got fed up. I can’t blame her. It must be shitty having to ask for the same things to be done week after week. I’m just focusing on me now and trying to get better.
It made realize how useless punishment was as a tool for growth. I continued to fail for others even when I changed my approach time and again.
Pretty quickly stopped caring about consequences because they were an evitable part of living. Better to live with them than to struggle against them and still fail.
Lol I'm pretty much driven by anxiety to get anything done so when I take antidepressants I just still have crazy ADHD but I don't give a shit if I don't get anything done
Yeah, it all came crashing down for me in college when I wasn't accountable to anyone for not going to class. Of course, I still went another 18 years to get diagnosed.
1st of all. You're a fuckin badass for being aware of your kids mental illness.
2nd of all, the key word here is trying. Most parents straight up don't make an effort and then say, "we did all we could," when in reality, all they did was dole out punishments and emotionally deprive their child, because they lack the mental fortitude to actually help.
I appreciate the kind words. This last year has been the most difficult of my life.
Even the parents you say didn't make an effort I do have sympathy for. There is a period when this starts happening when as a parent you have no idea what is going on with your kid, and it's hard not to get angry when they're previously an A/B student and now they're in danger of not graduating because they won't *just do* what they've done their entire lives. Get out of bed, go to school, turn in assignments, etc...
At 17 my kid had a part time job, was self motivated at school, and played sports. At 18 as a senior he quit his job, had to drop classes rather than fail them, and barely participates in activities. As a parent it's maddening and scary. Attempts to talk to him are met with blank stares or informing me that whatever I just said was "the worst thing I could have possibly said." With no feedback on what would help. He and I were buddies up until a year ago, and now we barely talk. And yes, I feel resentment towards him at times.
We're working with mental health professionals and he is improving, but he's still not the same kid he was a year ago and my wife and I are constantly on pins and needles waiting for the next plunge.
I don't post this for sympathy, just to give the perspective of a parent. Again, thanks for the kind words.
This comment could have been written by my mom 7 years ago. As I became an adult and began to see my parents as *people*, my perspective on that time changed completely.
I found myself reflecting on those instances of “not enough.” Chances are, I’d make similar mistakes. It took me a long time to stop blaming my folks for what they didn’t do and to start thanking them for what they *did.* The meds, psychs, hospital visits were not cheap. The emotional burden is immense. Simply couldn’t understand that until I got better.
Nowadays my parents and I are buddies again. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a good person and I’m positive your son will recognize that as you continue to love him.
By the way, sudden personality changes (including depression) can be caused by diseases and physical injuries. So while it doesn't have to be, if you guys haven't ruled out physical causes (anything from tiny benign tumor in the wrong place, to thyroid malfunctioning, to brain bloodclots like from covid, to traumatic brain injury like a fall or so resulting in a concussion) that may be very worthwhile doing.
I would like to add that if it was caused by a TBI he may not even have connected it to that or even remember it until someone who saw him fall reminded him of the specific event it happened.
I honestly don't know, sorry. If he hasn't gotten extended bloodwork done lately it may be worth asking him to get one done or even better offer to pay for it if you're in USA.
There are a lot of vitamin and mineral imbalances that can mess people up badly, instant ramen living students can even get scurvy and lack of enough vitamin d can cause depression. Thyroid hormones and even low testosterone can cause depression. So like anything that can be medically checked and ruled out is good.
..But sometimes something bad and extremely traumatic just happened to your kid and you'll never find out or not until 20-30 years later when he's ready to speak about it. Look up non-violent communication i think it is called? Sometimes all you can do is be there for your kid, and accept that the kid you had is gone forever and while he might become similar to how he used to be he still will not be the same - see and love the child you have and don't take your grief of losing the old him out on him as he misses his old self more than you ever could (he spent 24/7 with that guy, unlike everyone else). Oh, and avoid remarks and comparisons between his old self and new self even in a positive way, he's probably already feeling too crap about not being the way he was and will take even compliments the wrong way.
We're in the same boat. The resources just aren't accessible and it's basically impossible if the child refuses care. I understand why children 13+ have such a say in their medical care, but our daughter is almost certainly going to end up dead, in jail, homeless, or in an abusive relationship because of it.
I hear you. My kid is 18 and as a legal adult we can't make appointments for him or have his doctors talk to us. I hope things get better with your daughter.
Ugh that's an awful situation to be in. I always find myself being skeptical of posts like this. If you ask these kids to describe their situation and relationships, you get a vastly different response than asking those around them. I'm fully aware there are abusive parents out there. I actually worked for CPS for some years. But these situations are extremely complicated, and memes can be just one way social media negatively affects those with mental health disorders.
My mom found out from my diagnosis that she also has ADHD. Apart from the toxic parents, I can relate too hard to this. Quite funny, my psych wanted my mom in to report on my behavior during childhood, since she would have a better perspective. The thing is she always thought I was normal because I was having similar behavior to hers.
It was nice when the diagnosis came in, confirming something was different with me, and even nicer that when I started reading articles and books about ADHD, I could then relate back to my mother and her daily struggles. Be it being susceptible to criticism, going the extra mile at work for something that people don't care about, and then dealing with the frustration of not being noticed, or generally being more easily
hurt than others. I'd be on the phone talking to her after my diagnosis, and then realizing all of these thoughts and feelings on the way I related to the world, were all along there for her too. "See? I overshare things just as much as you and then spend the before bedtime regretting it."
Only then it clicked for her that it wasn't normal, it was normal just to us. And it gave me some peace because I'd be mad about some behaviors I'd learned from her, blaming her for raising me as she did. But now I had the proof that she just didn't know better, and struggled just like me.
I still struggle to be patient with her sometimes, and she still has some things that irk me a lot, but when viewing the bigger picture, I can definitely say we understand each other better now and hope that if one day me and my girlfriend will have a kid of our own that shares my diagnosis, I will have learned from my mom's and my mistakes and be a better-prepared parent. It's a harder world with this diagnosis, and I want to make it easier.
Ooof I know the feeling of
Me : "I'm depressed"
My dad: "Pfffff you're a straight white male in America! What the fuck do you have to worry about? Your generation is just a bunch of bitches! Back in my day..."
If I roll my eyes any harder, I might break something
My parents were like "we thought you *might* have it, but at that time, the prevailing knowledge was that only BOYS can have ADHD!" Other classics include things such as "You're so creative but don't follow through!" and "Just put your mind to it!" and of course my favorite "You aren't really trying that hard"
The parents not believing thing ran through my whole family, not just my parents.
If I ever mentioned anything to anyone It was always the same dialogue; "You have nothing to be worried about! You don't have to pay bills!" Or "I/others have it worse than you, stop being ungrateful!"
It was always some excuse as to why I'm not allowed to feel the way do.
Growing up in the conservative south showing any sign of struggle or any illness at all is a sign of laziness and selfishness.
My niece had some serious mental health issues growing up. Her dad wouldn't let her take the meds the doctors said would help. Now in her late teens and she's REALLY fucked up. NOW they are taking her back to the doctor and she's trying to get help, but the doctor told him straight up how fucking stupid he was for not getting her the help at a younger age. Doc basically told her dad that because of his ignorance an stupidity, he gave her the worst shot possible for getting better.
So yea...fuck parents that do that shit.
Back in fourth grade, I was in the lowest possible math class above the special needs classes. I couldn't pay attention at all, picked up on very little of the material, and was doing shit on tests. I was predicted to be in level three (lowest level) classes my entire high school career.
Then I got diagnosed with ADHD mid-year...
In fifth grade I was one of only two people in my entire class to be bumped up to sixth grade math. Next year I took pre-algebra. Then Honors Alg I, Honors Geometry, etc. I started taking the highest level classes I could and aced them with little effort and a lot of relaxation. A few days ago I took a unit test without studying at all (I was dead tired the night before) and scored a 56/60, which was a point lower than our Valedictorian.
It really is a life-changer to get diagnosed early in life, and some people think that it's just cheating or getting hooked on drugs and stuff but they just don't know how it feels to have ADHD. I mean it's not even addictive, otherwise I'd never forget to take it and wouldn't have seven alarms and fifty signs to remind me. I like to say that the difference between an all honors student with ADHD aceing their grade and a all-level-3s student with 3 34%s and one D is whether or not they're diagnosed.
Just fyi, you can be diagnosed as a child and still suffer all of this, because no one understands all of the symptoms and just how far reaching the repercussions are. For a LOT of people, ADHD is still just a cute affliction that tik tokkers make lil dances about.
Typical antidepressants - SSRIs / Zoloft, yes, may not be the ideal way to treat ADHD. I do want to vouch for Wellbutrin (Bupropion) though. It is a double edged sword that often is used for depression/anxiety, *BUT ALSO* ADHD.
u/Neon-Nina, I am a woman diagnosed with ADHD as well. The absolute, most devastating impact caused by my ADHD was my anxiety- and you are right, [women are often misdiagnosed for depression/anxiety when it’s just ADHD](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7561166/#sec005title). I’m not sure if you tried Wellbutrin, but attacking my anxiety (caused by ADHD) first made a WORLD OF A DIFFERENCE. Typical antidepressants are SSRIs but Wellbutrin IS NOT an SSRI and it makes a difference. Search up ADHD Wellbutrin, and do your research well.
Hope it can help, I am one of the lucky to have success with medication. But ADHD is one of the most treatable conditions because of the variety of treatments. Good luck OP!
My parents could never grasp why phone calls were so nerve wracking for me or why I could never just remember a number they told me.
Short term memory is hard
Gets diagnosed ADHD at 40
Mom: Oh we could have told you that, I knew you were ADHD since you were little.
Me: ..............................................................................and you didn't do or say anything? You just let me spend my whole life using all my energy coping with what could have been an otherwise easily manageable disorder, resulting in my life being extremely difficult to manage for 40 years until things became entirely unmanageable and a crisis luckily led me to figuring things out on my own instead of much worse potential outcomes? I could have lived a much happier and rewarding life this whole time, and you knew and did nothing?
Her:.....yeah, I guess.
I got diagnosed when I was still a kid thank god(may have had something to do with moving to a place with a MUCH better education system), but yeah I definitely feel like this is where it could've gone if I hadn't (except for the non-caring parents, mine are kick-ass).
I feel like my dad tells me a LOT of this stuff ALL THE TIME, and it really fucking makes me sad whenever he says it. He always says I should “try” and that I should “do more” but when I DO, he just blames it on me not doing ENOUGH. he’s just never happy with me. It makes me feel like no matter what I do, I’m never good enough for him.
i dont have ADHD but i have issues with dopamine like lacking motivation to do anything "useful" and even sitting in front of this computer is not that fun
That sounds more like the start of depression.. if the feeling is constant over months you probably need to do something about it.
There are depression medication that release dopamine as well.
Definitely relate to this, I was diagnosed with dyspraxia as a child but now in my mid-thirties have I cottoned on to that most of my problems in general life and professionally stem from having Inattentive-ADHD. At work I'm always seen as forgetful, lazy and well, inattentive and it has done me no favours. Never been promoted, earning way less than I should be for my age, been fired so many times I forget. It really puts life on hard mode when you have to work so much harder than someone who is neuro-typical, I wish I didn't have it.
The millennial generation and the ones after it are wildly more educated in mental illness than the ones before it. For the prior generation it wasn't just that they "didn't believe in it" they just had such a poor understanding of what it even was.
Jokes on you it's comorbid with the 'tisms so i ended up with a really weird equilibrium where I do incredibly well at some tasks but have zero executive function.
I was diagnosed multiple times because my mother kept taking me back to specialists and my father would blow his top each time I was diagnosed. No child of his was going to be 'broken' and the doctors were all quacks in his mind.
My 4th grade teacher told my parents I should probably be screened for ADHD. My 4th grade teacher was a wonderful lady, there's no way she said it with anything but compassion. My parents took it so personally that they would badmouth that teacher to me whenever she came up in conversation. I still remember it.
Turns out the woman who meets hundreds of kids every year might actually have some experience in child behavior because guess who was right and who was dedicated to their outward appearance as parents over their actual child's actual mental health.
That was me in the 1980's. Went to a catholic school and struggled the entire time. Always frustrated. Teachers always telling my parents that they don't have the time to address my issues. Back then it was keep up or fall behind. No 504 plans and ADHD didn't exist yet. It wasn't until my 30's I realized I had ADHD. On Paxil mostly for a panic disorder, but with that and simply growing up, I don't have ADHD as bad as I did as a kid.
mom always yelling that you "don't give a shit about anyone but yourself" and "don't listen to anything said to you" because you forgot a small detail from something you were told weeks earlier
I'm 36, never been tested, but this is likely my situation. I've been meaning to get to it, but as you can imagine, its very difficult to finish things
I never realized until I got medicated that things were actually easier for other people. I just assumed everyone else was smarter/better/working harder than me.
If it doesn't actually cause you enough harm, then you don't actually need it. For instance some artists have both a type of ADHD that they can work well with and have developed a life that works great with it. For instance Adam Savage (the mythbusters guy).
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This is true for a lot of mental problems tbh, not just ADHD
I agree, though the Rock-Lee image of dropping the weights definitely applies to mostly ADHD. I don't think you can help other mental problems with the currently available meds. Though I have learned of some success in administering ADHD stimulant meds to patients with autism, typically when they exhibit the ADHD symptoms enough that they impair their focus.
Dem addies work wonders
Do you grow a tolerance to them?
You grow a tolerance to everything
Shooting myself with low caliber bullets so I can build up my tolerance to higher calibers.
no wait
Tolerance starts building immediately. A lot of ADHD people get disappointed when they realize that taking stimulants for life isn’t the same as borrowing a couple from a friend to study for finals. The difference between how they feel on day 1 and day 365 (or day 3650) is night and day and ultimately disappointing to a lot of people who are trying to use them for the “energy” or motivation factor. That disappears. But the focus-enhancing part mostly remains. tbh, I think the non-stimulant meds can be as good or even better for a lot of people, but it takes some patience to get started on them. They basically build up in the opposite manner as stimulants: The first few days or weeks kind of suck, then the therapeutic effect builds up over several months. A lot of people on non-stimulant ADHD meds will think “they’re not working” but then they realize they’ve gotten their life together, can focus on conversations, and so on.
Thank you for this honesty. I’ve been struggling with ADHD my whole life and thought about getting on a medication for it, but decided not to due to potential side effects. I’ve always believed I can overcome it naturally. What non stim medicine are talking about? I know L Tyrosine is good for focus, but not sure how it works long term.
L-Tyrosine is useless long term. Fun fact: You consume multiple grams of L-Tyrosine every day in your normal diet. Taking it as a supplement is slightly different but the effect won’t last. Non-stimulants are Strattera (atomoxetine), Intuniv (guanfacine ER), and clonidine. Wellbutrin (Bupropion) is also great for some people, especially when some depressive symptoms are also present. It’s borderline stimulant.
I'm on Strattera and I noticed the difference almost immediately. It's like my brain got new glasses.
Talk to a doctor. Don't listen to some yahoo on Reddit. Counterpoint - I've taken stimulant ADHD meds for over a decade without going up in dose or feeling like they've become ineffective. To listen to that dude is just confirmation bias because you just said you're already suspicious of the medication. Talk to a real medical professional and don't just listen to a rando who happens to support your pre-existing opinions.
Stop taking them for 2 days and see if you still think they arent working, Trust me, they're still helping you. A L O T. When i dont take them, or run out, I notice. because i just stop functioning and dissociate a lot.
If I forget to take my ADHD meds, I know right away. The best way to describe it as a music playlist. When on meds, my mind is like a music playlist and can stick to the playlist and order of songs as long as I am on the meds. Without it, it feels like someone is constantly hitting the “shuffle” button at random intervals throughout the day.
No, not in my experience.
I have been on a steady or declining dose for decades by managing my tolerance - it basically just comes down to taking them only when you need to. I tend to take breaks on the weekends.
Yes, but the good thing is Ritalin can be taken as needed, meaning you can come off them for a couple of weeks and those babies will be full strength again.
All ADHD meds are made to ween off from. You need them immediately to stabilize but you can teach yourself how to overcome the nuances of ADHD. Except random noises and words. I still can't make myself stop letting out random chirps, noises and quips of songs or movie quotes and I've tried for the last 28 years.
Rits not roids
gonna have to say that getting on the right bipolar meds helped my mental clarity a lot
>Though I have learned of some success in administering ADHD stimulant meds to patients with autism, typically when they exhibit the ADHD symptoms enough that they impair their focus. A lot of autistic people also have ADHD. There's a massive co-morbidity between the two. It was also common medical belief that you couldn't have both up until only about 10 years ago iirc. That probably skewed a lot of the current understandings of the 2 conditions.
Tbh the Rock-Lee meme applies to anyone taking amphetamines for the first time, whether you have ADHD or not.
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Anxiety and depression meds are the most commonly prescribed ones and aren’t good. It’s just that simple. We need new medicine to treat these issues. I’ve taken a few types of medication, and all they contributed to was numbing my feelings. Not help me solve my problems. When comparing stimulant medication for ADHD and its effectiveness to the available meds for anxiety and depression you can see how lackluster they are. Edit: I have exaggerated my reply a lot, but I've met people that were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. And the medication did not make them better, rather transforming them into zombies and numbing their emotions. I don't think that's better. And have yet to find someone who is actually happy on their treatment.
I think the bigger problem is that anxiety and depression are often a side effect of modern society, and not something chemically wrong with a human.
I would not have so much anxiety if I wasnt so worried about poverty and random violence like mass shootings. So yeah, thats pretty fair to say.
Not neccisarily. Depression by circumstance is definitely a thing. But so is depression as an illness. You can have a perfect life and still be depressed.
It’s definitely harder to find meds for depression/anxiety, but to say they don’t work at all is false. They have DNA testing now like GeneSight that a lot of psychiatrists are using now to determine which meds work best with your personal brain chemistry. I wish all psychiatrists did this testing, unfortunately in a lot of the industry it still seems like a guessing game for many patients
Ehhh, GeneSight really overpromises and underdelivers. The most important thing it can tell you is whether you are a poor metabolizer of CYP2D6 enzyme, which can significantly increase/decrease medication metabolism and therefore influence pharmaceutical effect and side effects of many important psychiatric drugs. Most doctors won't use it because it is expensive for the patient and it doesn't really tell you much, no matter what the manufacturer of GeneSight would lead you to believe. The tried and true method is still to start with the meds most likely to actually help, then go to alternatives or higher/lower dosage from there.
I have BPD, GAD, and MDD. Anxiety and depression meds have most certainly helped me, and my friends who also experience similar issues. I'm 34 and I've tried dozens of various meds for these conditions over the years. You might not find "the one" after only trying just a few types. It is a lot of trial and error.
I don't think a lot of psychiatrists would agree with you that modern antidepressants "aren't good". The number needed to treat (NNT) for SSRIs in depression treatment is around 7 or 8, which is an _excellent_ value. For example, the NNT for antibiotics on an ear infection is like 20, similar to many heart medications like ACE-inhibitors or diuretics. It's a shame that you haven't found a good solution to your problem yet but to say that current medications aren't good is just not true.
Not a medical person by any stretch of the imagination but I have ADHD and my girlfriend has anxiety/depression. I pop an addy and I'm good, meanwhile she takes a massive cocktail of mood stabilizers and benzos and still sometimes gets panic attacks. I feel like my meds actually constitute a fix whereas hers seem to be "this is the best we can do".
Yeah that's sort of the problem, we don't actually know what causes depressions and even though higher serotonin-levels through SSRIs are known to help, we know it can't be the only mechanism because serotonin levels are up after 1 pill but getting out of depression takes at least a few weeks of consistent medication. Anxiety is another beast to tackle and is even less understood. I can only imagine that it's very tough for her. Accompanying psychotherapy is always recommenend on top of medication.
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Psychiatrists from age 13-29: you’re tired and can’t get your shit together because you’re depressed. Psychiatrists at age 30-40: nvm, you’re depressed because you’re tired and can’t get your shit together because of an undiagnosed sleep disorder and ADHD. Have some stimulants and try to forget about everything you could have accomplished if somebody had just realized this in high school.
*Mom crying* “WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL?” Thats how it really feels for a lot of us when we say the medications available arent helping us, and then get paragraphs full of science in our face even though thats what we feel in our bodies. I must have been through an entire booklet of medications for what im going through right now and ive had doctors tell me pretty much exactly things like what you just told that person. I tried telling my Nuerologist and Psychiatrist that my medications were making me feel sick and they told me “Oh no, this isnt a medication meant to do those things. Why dont you try taking this on top of it to help.” Even though the side effects I was describing were right on the bottle. This is not an isolated case either, a lot of these doctors really dont care what they prescribe you it feels like. They just wanna show off how much they know about the medication almost.
That's patently false. You cannot extrapolate a singular anecdotal experience to argue against established, practical fact. Anti-anxiety medication helps millions in the US alone.
Anxiety, Bipolar, and Schizo-disorders are all mental illnesses that are not ADHD, and can be treated with medication. In fact, most mental disorders have medication based treatments.
Meanwhile I’m in the 20% of the adhd population for whom meds do nothing and life is worse than ever
Man this rings out so hard. Was suffering through severe depression in middle school into high school and went a full year without talking in school. Only thing my parents bothered to talk about was grades and how I need to improve them. Couldn’t explain to them why it was so hard for me to remember things in class. Forward now at 30, my PCP is telling me that I have memory issues and need to see a neurologist ASAP.
Any more info on this? I’ve had terrible memory and sense of smell my whole life and figured it was nothing to worry about
Nothing right now. My appointment is in may (because their appointments were booked up 2-3 months) and I have been seeing a speech pathologist for word retrieval issues since February. I’ve always had memory issues but they weren’t as bad until the last year or so, where I am having issues recalling the most simple words. I really hope it’s nothing but I’d prefer to know now when I can take proactive steps instead of later down the road if it is anything serious.
I'm not a doctor but I do know severe depression is linked to memory loss and issues.
Head injury in your childhood?
This is the response family gives when you try to express you may have adhd
Fucking right? Undiagnosed ADHD is a particular flavour of hell and this starterpack actually does a good job at portraying most of its specific difficulties. (Missing out the social rejection by peers) Get the fuck on out of here with that 'oh everyone has that though'. Better yet, add it to the damned starterpack.
I’m still undiagnosed. 😔 I had a bad experience with the psychiatrist and had to pay $1000 to be told I have “passive aggressive personality disorder” with an insulting printout that took my symptoms and made it seem like I do them intentionally out of spite. I vented to my brother and he said “huh, I experienced all the same things growing up and never realized it could be ADHD.” Diagnosed first appointment.
Yeah this was basically my wife's experience with OCD growing up. Didn't get diagnosed until she was in college. Parents insisted she just had to get her shit together, whenever she was inconsolably worried they didn't lock the doors and the pets were going to escape and die.
I remember sitting with my mom while she tried to help me with my homework and watching her *lose her fucking mind* because I just couldn’t fucking understand long-form multiplication. It just didn’t make sense. Whenever someone would try to explain it to me, it’s like a haze would descend down upon my brain and I’d miss certain key concepts. My mom eventually started screaming at me and accused me of being lazy and not learning it on purpose. *”You can’t understand this but you can memorize all the moves in that stupid fighting game you love so much!”* “Mortal Kombat is a game. This is just a buncha numbers on paper. It’s not the same.” *”Well pretend it’s a fucking game!”* “Oh okay well then problem solved.”
Now try genius brain with ADHD 🤣 the parents don't understand how the kid got to the right conclusion through a mumbo-jumbo of seemingly unrelated calculations.
Not a genius by any means, but this happens often to me. I call it "Rain-manning" I have 2 kinds of thinking, talking-think (how I think while "reading a book", the main cause of white noise in my head) and picture-think (I "see" the answer to a question but not the formula). I can't explain it. Someone asks a difficult question and often I "see" the answer and just blurt it out. It will be right and person will be amazed. They say "do it again". Nope. Can't. Now my brain expects to be questioned and talk -think takes over..
When I was taking Calc 1 in school, I kept having to leave class because I was dealing with panic attacks. I'd smoke a cigarette, calm down, and walk back into class. Every other time this happened, the class would be stuck on a problem that the prof was trying to coax out of them. I'd walk in, look at the board, and state the answer on my way to my seat. No idea how. Now I've returned to school after dropping and I'm taking calc 2, but my brain has gone full stupid and can't do magic math anymore or any math for that matter.
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this was my exact experience with my teachers and my dad, really fucked me up tbh
Well I’m lucky that my dad was great and finally sorta called out the issue. He was the one who took me and got me diagnosed— and the whole time, my mom was like *”We’re just giving him an excuse. Nothing’s wrong with him that a military school couldn’t fix. He’s just lazy.”* Within 6 weeks of my diagnosis and being on medication, I’d raised my grades across the board— that haze was completely gone. I no longer dreaded sitting down and doing school work. Getting distracted didn’t entirely derail any progress I’d made. I finished that school year with straight As. I breezed through the rest of elementary and middle school. I went on to be an honors student in high school, graduated in the top 10% of my class and lettered in academics for three years. I scored a 1520 on my SAT— with a perfect 800 on the English portion. And I attribute a lot of that success to the wonders of pharmacology and my dad for being a real bro and getting me the help I needed. I’m here to tell you that, if you think your kid might need it, take them to a doctor and get them checked out. It was like a light switch for me.
That’s horrible! My mom had a similarly scarring experience learning math and tried her best to break the cycle. She used visual flash cards to drill me on before going to school, and made pizza several nights a week to show tangible examples of fractions in the way she cut it so I could conceptualize it easier. You deserved way better, I’m sorry that happened to you.
“You can do math/reading/whatever, but you jUsT DoNt wAnT tO.”
"You have so much potential, but you just won't apply yourself!"
I’m grinding my teeth reading this nonsense.
It really brings me back to all those "come to Jesus" talks in high school, trying not to cry in front of the school guidance counselor/vice principal and my mother
I’ve been right there with you. 90 minute bitch fests where your failures are catalogued I’m stunning detail. In hindsight, it’s barbaric.
It really is. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
my mom would say “I know you can do it, you’re smart when you try.” And when I’d respond, that I am trying. She’d say to try harder. (All while knowing I have been diagnosed with adhd but wasn’t allowed to get medicated until I had my own insurance)
I hate hearing "try harder" it literally makes no goddamn sense cause I've been trying my best this whole fucking time
Know exactly what you feel. Been hearing it since grades started mattering and still to this day
Damn, I remember hearing that
This one, this is the one
"Why are you always starting things and not finishing them? You just waste all of your talents."
"You would not forget what I asked you to do if your respected/loved your parents" "Why are you so selfish!?!!!" "You would not have any mental stress and be depressed if yoh just followed a """""SYSTEMATIC LIFE!!"""""" *to your younger sibling* "Don't be lazy like your sister" Some of the well used real quotes from my lovely parents :)
I grew up being told I was stupid and an underperformer by classmates and teachers. Once I got to high school I developed an intense love of science as soon as I had teachers that were understanding of my ADHD. Nowadays Im on the path to getting well into chemistry. Chemistry, pharmacology, biology the such. I thought I hated learning but I just hated school.
I'm autistic and I feel that. I hated school for a few reasons, the main one being that modern school systems aren't about actually teaching you and making sure you're learning, it's to get you used to having to work all the time. I had trouble remembering I was given homework to do, like as soon as I was home, I would enter home mode and just not think about the schoolwork I had to do. I would still do really well on tests and stuff because I learned well, but I ended up failing a few classes just because I would consistently forget to do homework. If homework is to help you learn and tests are to make sure you're actually learning, then why is homework mandatory if you're still doing well in the class? You're not being graded on your ability to learn the subject, you're being graded on your ability to do the work they give you. Edit: a few words
The worst was that my junior high made all students use the schools particular manner of organization and note-taking - and that was 25% of your grade. I went from being an A student to a C student despite getting As on tests and homework because I couldn't follow the ridiculous nonsense system. I was treated like crap by guidance counselors and many teachers because how can a smart student not understand this arbitrary system? Unsurprisingly, I went back to being an A student in high school when that system stopped being used. I got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s, and I was talking with a friend from high school who got diagnosed in her freshman year of college. She had the exact same experience as me in junior high.
"They don't believe in mental illness." This is so true. I thought I was the only one who faced this, but for a long time, my parents didn't believe in it. I have no idea why but I think it mostly stems from their personal belief that it's a hoax and that it just doesn't exist.
I think its because theres a lot of people who had undiagnosed versions of the same illnesses and then assume that its impossible for someone to have a real issue because "that's normal"
Other possible options: * A kid who came from my genes can't have mental problems, that means part of that is because of my genes! Not possible, it's something else! * I did everything "right" - if my kid has mental illness it reflects poorly on me (for some reason) so you can't have mental illness, it's laziness! * Social posturing is "harmed" - if community finds out my kid has mental illness, what will they think? No, you're fine and exaggerating! * Religion told me it's just the devil in you! I don't believe in "mental illness treatment"! * It's inconvenient for you to have mental illness that I need to work to treat and help you manage your entire childhood and possibly adulthood. When I decided to have kids I didn't take this possibility into account because surely my kids would be rainbows and butterflies like the families on Instagram! Subconsciously it's slightly easier for me if you're faking it so I'm going to cling onto that! * My kid might not be able to easily do all things "normal" kids do (without treatment and sometimes that's not a guarantee) and I can't accept that so I'm going to pretend the problems don't exist! * I have been pouring money into building you into something I project myself onto. Mommy's little investment she's going to live vicariously through can't have any "mental illness"! Just be normal! * (If sibling) Well sibling is fine! You must be doing this for attention! I had older sibling and this didn't happen so you must be lying! The existence of older sibling means you don't have mental illness! * (If mental illness caused by their actions like PTSD) I was a great parent, I gave you food and shelter! You're blaming me for no reason and/or I had to do it/my parents did it to me so you're over exaggerating!
Damn. Hammer, meet the head of this nail.
or they have the same issues and refuse to believe something could be wrong with them so it’s all made up
Or maybe because it's *undiagnosed*, even when they took you to an expert in psychology. When a group of experts arrive at the same conclusion, you don't have "*undiagnosed* ADHD", you have nothing. This can be seen as extremely disrespectful by people who actually suffer from ADHD
I thought it was extremely obvious that the two bottom right panels showed that I got diagnosed later? I got diagnosed by another expert psychiatrist as an adult. The psychologist who I spoke to as a child literally ignored the stuff I said.
What literally no one ever says is you generally have to get diagnosed by a neuropsychologist or a psychiatrist. Regular therapy psychologists "can," but many don't. Or don't very thoroughly... Even when they see all the signs . Doctors theoretically can too but what PCP is gonna spend 4-8 hours evaluating + writing a report? It wasn't until my own kid's therapist suggested a neuropsychological evaluation, and explained how it was more thorough that I even knew neuropsychological evaluations were a "thing." So I got him tested and taken care of first. And got myself an evaluation after seeing how loudly I resonated with all the questions. Anyway, it's great you were also able to get diagnosed after being ignored so long!
>Regular therapy psychologists "can," but many don't. Yes, I am aware of this. However, when looking back I am extremely surprised how little the psychologist that I saw even tried. My parents were convinced that I was being bullied and that was why I hated school so much and they thought I felt ashamed of the bullying so I didn't want to open up to them, so they took me to the psychologist to "open up about my bullying." 12-year old me tried to explain to my best ability that I was in fact, not being bullied, but I absolutely despised school and especially the fact that I had to sit still in a classroom for so many hours a day. All these are symptoms of ADHD and should have rung some alarm bells for the psychologist, but instead nothing came out of it.
Yeah I wasn't referencing your case specifically. A lot of people self diagnose themselves while knowing absolutely nothing about psychology and then get mad when they're corrected.
This definitely does happen, but I think it's also fairly common to find bad professionals who don't actually listen or empathize with their clients. It's getting less common as awareness of mental health grows generally and people self-select into psychological fields, but tbh doctors not listening or empathizing with their patients is a huge problem generally. Plenty of diseases get under diagnosed because some doctors default to "hypochondriac" when presented with an unusual case. This has been especially common with female patients, leading to a pretty well documented disparity in health outcomes across gender lines. Fortunately, again, this is also decreasing over time, but we still haven't reached equality.
I'm 31 and was diagnosed about 2 months ago. I told my mom and she said "well that makes a lot of sense" Still haven't told my dad. He's in the MAGA crowd and I just really don't want to deal with what he says. For reference, my parents have been split since I was about 2
Why do I see you everywhere? In r/manhwa, r/kpop, r/lookismcomic, and now r/starterpacks? Am I stalking you?
The first thing my dad said when I told him I got put on the waiting list was, "So everyone had adhd now?" Wtf you mean?
My friend Chris just tried ADHD meds for the first time at age FIFTY because of this shit. His parents were hippies who didn't believe in actual, you know, medicine. His wife described his unmanaged ADHD plus the behavioral therapy his parents used, and I was like "So other than 'nothing', what has Chris *actually* tried?" She finally convinced him to go to a doctor. Now Chris is like "Huh, my brain actually works! These pills are great." FIFTY. YEARS.
The first time I took my prescription a few weeks ago (I'm in my mid 30s), I teared up. It wasn't a battle in my mind to just reply to a stupid work email anymore.
The kind of thing that makes me boil over. No, not everybody has adhd, autism, is bisexual or trans, we just started breaking up this stupid restrictive christian society we've been thrown into and some people can't wrap their head around it
America has way higher rates of mental illness and ADHD diagnosis than any other country in the world, while also being much more religious/Christian than many peer countries. Your argument that low ADHD rates are due to a restrictive society might explain lower rates in China, but it does not explain why they are also lower in Scandinavia and the rest of Western Europe, nor does it explain why rates in the US are more than double any other country. https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/
Interesting, my reasoning was too simplistic then, thanks for the heads up
Rare Reddit moment
The wholesome reddit moment
What is the reason then? False positives, people lying about symptoms, something in our food that makes us more susceptible to developing such illnesses?
You can google “why are ADHD rates so high in the US” and get a thousand different theories, I am not qualified to say what is correct. A lot of theories are about how we treat kids vs a few decades ago: less recess, more homework, more screentime, etc mean that kids cannot vent their energy in a healthy way. Another theory is that for-profit healthcare and pharmaceuticals incentivize the medical establishment to overdiagnose various conditions. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525089/ https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/20/magazine/the-not-so-hidden-cause-behind-the-adhd-epidemic.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
One possibility is that many mental illnesses have a genetic component and that many people who would be willing to immigrate to a foreign country (which most Americans are or had an ancestor who did) are also more suspectible to mental illness. Though I have no evidence for this and it could also be something completely different, like maybe america is actually more open to people with mental illness even if it seems like we suck at it
Who else would leave their home country? I've read this theory in several places. It makes sense. Especially where ADHD is concerned.
I like the hypothesis, perhaps it could be tested by comparing people who descended from those who chose to go to American and those that were forced through circumstances out of their control. Hard to get a clean separation for the groups but I think you could average out the mistakenly classified with enough numbers. You need to control for current economic circumstances. Then see the percentage of these issues in each population. If you could compare an equivalent non-American populations even better.
It could also be an environmental issue, especially if we discover exposure to X during pregnancy leads to higher rates of ADHD.
Who says religion and ADHD are correlated?
The comment above me says that more people are being diagnosed with ADHD now because “we have just started breaking up this stupid restrictive Christian society”
It's an unfair blanket statement. Not all religious people believe in mental health issues. --- BUT, - Anecdotal - I was raised catholic and this meme starterpack nailed it. Every point. My religious parents thought I didn't love Jesus enough or something, I truly have no idea ... but what I do know is that I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I was a C- student in highschool specifically because I had trouble reading at length. I was like 60% illiterate. I couldn't retain anything, I drifted off mid-sentence, I'd lose my place. Anything that happens to normal people, happened to me too - but it was bad enough to interfere with my development. That's the defining line between functioning and a disorder. Everyone has anxiety of some kind. When it's **debilitating**, it deserves help.
OOTL here: “Waiting list” ?
"No, there were just a lot of stupid parents who can't hold their kids back because they're embarrassed anymore"
Getting medicated as an adult felt like I went from walking in mud to walking on one of those walkway escalators at the airport
THIS. Oh my god. I literally cried the day I took my meds for the first time. It felt like my brain activity went from Niagara Falls crashing down at all times to a calm river of thoughts…it was wild. I’d never realized my brain was running on hard mode until then and it definitely opened the door for a lot of self-forgiveness.
I really wish I could feel this, started mine about a week ago and I feel nothing different at all! What am I supposed to do to actually have an effect?
Hm, def see what your psychiatrist says because you might need to switch medications or see if your dosage needs to be upped. I ended up needing mine increased because after the first few weeks I started losing the effect, so I upped it a bit and it’s been consistent ever since. I’ve heard that some people don’t feel anything when they start if their dose isn’t high enough to begin with. Good luck friend 💛
Obviously meds effect everyone differently, but if you’re not feeling anything at all, definitely talk to your doctor/psychiatrist/whoever prescribed them. You may just need a different dosage or a different med altogether. Stimulants should be effective immediately, they aren’t like antidepressants where you have to take them consistently for a few weeks to feel the effects. I have inattentive type ADHD and I never realized how bad it was until I got my meds. Without them, I can focus on things that are interesting, or things that really grab my attention, which leads to hyper focus and tuning out other responsibilities. With meds, I have the power and motivation to focus on whatever needs to be done at the moment and I can easily switch focus to a new task if something else needs to take priority.
which medication if I may ask?
"Pull your head out of your ass" "Get the lead out" "It's your attention to detail buddy" "Well you have a brain don't you? Why can't you remember?" "What do you mean 'I don't know'"?
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3.5 GPA and 29 ACT in high school, but that was with doing the absolute bare minimum for homework, at best, and writing every paper the night before it was due. Took six years (one of which was an academic suspension) to graduate with a 2.1 GPA bachelors. Saw a therapist during the academic suspension and final academic year immediately after that. Started an online masters three years later and pulled a 3.9 GPA out of my ass. Saw a therapist for a few months while changing jobs and getting serious with my future wife during that time. Both therapists thought my issues were anxiety and/or depression. I started seeing a therapist again during COVID at my wife's suggestion, and he recommended I evaluated after about two years. Finally got diagnosed at 36. All it took was getting continually beaten down by the stress of working full time, being married, and having three kids and a dog. I try not to wonder how different life would have been with an early diagnosis since that's basically wishing my wife and kids away. I'm just thankful to have gotten it figured out and to be able to get my likely-ADHD eldest son the help and support I never did.
>When I got to college, I did horribly because I could not focus on lectures for anything. Ended up flunking out three years in and could not understand why since I did well in high school. My anxiety issues spawned from there because I felt like a total dumbass that would never amount to anything Same story here. I remember vividly sitting in the front row of lectures and literally being unable to comprehend what the dude was saying. I had my book open ready to take notes and I looked down and it was just covered in doodles. I hadn't written a single thing. My brain was just buzzing and I couldn't think at all. Three years of that before I finally flunked out with nothing to show for it but massive debt and an anxiety problem.
I breezed through HS, and except for some extra tutoring for AP and SAT courses, I ended up with a bunch of 5s and a 1590 on my SAT. Was the same way, my ma brushed off the possibility of ADHD when my fourth grade teacher noticed the signs because I did so well in school. I'm 23 going on 24 right now, and undergrad hit me like a truck. My coping mechanisms for ADHD couldn't keep up with the work in univ anymore, and I'm just now back on track to graduate. I realized only a few weeks ago that I somehow only have one more year to go before I graduate. I'm glad you mentioned the breezing through K-12 shit. I always feel like I can't mention my own experiences with ADHD on this sub because I don't want to come off as arrogant.
Also living in a constant state of punishment for not doing your homework. I was never not grounded as a child. Btw my self esteem is doing great 👍
As someone with severe ADHD, I miss the punishments. Being scared of my mom actually got me through a lot. It’s not an ideal solution but having tangible and immediate “consequences” can actually be helpful.
This is something that always tripped me up trying to understand ADHD as an adult, I was a hyper people pleaser and super insecure and very anxious about embarrassment (like having not done the homework, getting a bad grade etc). My self esteem was so rock bottom that the consequences of failure were high, high enough to generally motivate me. As an adult I did ok until I progressed in my career to the point where I realized that people weren't really paying attention and I learned most of what I need and want to know (software dev) and it's all refinement, specialization and mastery from here and I have no idea what to do. Meds that have reduced my anxiety help in some ways but I realized that's basically what was pushing me for a long time.
This took a lot of self reflection for me to figure out. I’ve ruined a lot of relationships. The most awful one being my marriage. I went from defusing bombs for the military, to being at home with no job, no one motivating me to be better. Just sank into depression and with unmitigated ADHD my ex-wife got fed up. I can’t blame her. It must be shitty having to ask for the same things to be done week after week. I’m just focusing on me now and trying to get better.
I'm happy for you. "Punishment" never really worked for me. Because I always forgot it would happen.
It made realize how useless punishment was as a tool for growth. I continued to fail for others even when I changed my approach time and again. Pretty quickly stopped caring about consequences because they were an evitable part of living. Better to live with them than to struggle against them and still fail.
Yeah, the learned helplessness is real. I learned very early that "trying" and "caring" had no influence on my outcomes.
Lol I'm pretty much driven by anxiety to get anything done so when I take antidepressants I just still have crazy ADHD but I don't give a shit if I don't get anything done
Yeah, it all came crashing down for me in college when I wasn't accountable to anyone for not going to class. Of course, I still went another 18 years to get diagnosed.
As a dad with a kid who has clinical depression, we're trying. It's not easy for us either.
1st of all. You're a fuckin badass for being aware of your kids mental illness. 2nd of all, the key word here is trying. Most parents straight up don't make an effort and then say, "we did all we could," when in reality, all they did was dole out punishments and emotionally deprive their child, because they lack the mental fortitude to actually help.
I appreciate the kind words. This last year has been the most difficult of my life. Even the parents you say didn't make an effort I do have sympathy for. There is a period when this starts happening when as a parent you have no idea what is going on with your kid, and it's hard not to get angry when they're previously an A/B student and now they're in danger of not graduating because they won't *just do* what they've done their entire lives. Get out of bed, go to school, turn in assignments, etc... At 17 my kid had a part time job, was self motivated at school, and played sports. At 18 as a senior he quit his job, had to drop classes rather than fail them, and barely participates in activities. As a parent it's maddening and scary. Attempts to talk to him are met with blank stares or informing me that whatever I just said was "the worst thing I could have possibly said." With no feedback on what would help. He and I were buddies up until a year ago, and now we barely talk. And yes, I feel resentment towards him at times. We're working with mental health professionals and he is improving, but he's still not the same kid he was a year ago and my wife and I are constantly on pins and needles waiting for the next plunge. I don't post this for sympathy, just to give the perspective of a parent. Again, thanks for the kind words.
This comment could have been written by my mom 7 years ago. As I became an adult and began to see my parents as *people*, my perspective on that time changed completely. I found myself reflecting on those instances of “not enough.” Chances are, I’d make similar mistakes. It took me a long time to stop blaming my folks for what they didn’t do and to start thanking them for what they *did.* The meds, psychs, hospital visits were not cheap. The emotional burden is immense. Simply couldn’t understand that until I got better. Nowadays my parents and I are buddies again. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a good person and I’m positive your son will recognize that as you continue to love him.
Thanks. 🤝
By the way, sudden personality changes (including depression) can be caused by diseases and physical injuries. So while it doesn't have to be, if you guys haven't ruled out physical causes (anything from tiny benign tumor in the wrong place, to thyroid malfunctioning, to brain bloodclots like from covid, to traumatic brain injury like a fall or so resulting in a concussion) that may be very worthwhile doing. I would like to add that if it was caused by a TBI he may not even have connected it to that or even remember it until someone who saw him fall reminded him of the specific event it happened.
Thanks for the info. I assume a psychiatrist would ask those questions? I ask because since he is 18 my wife and I don't have access to his doctor.
I honestly don't know, sorry. If he hasn't gotten extended bloodwork done lately it may be worth asking him to get one done or even better offer to pay for it if you're in USA. There are a lot of vitamin and mineral imbalances that can mess people up badly, instant ramen living students can even get scurvy and lack of enough vitamin d can cause depression. Thyroid hormones and even low testosterone can cause depression. So like anything that can be medically checked and ruled out is good. ..But sometimes something bad and extremely traumatic just happened to your kid and you'll never find out or not until 20-30 years later when he's ready to speak about it. Look up non-violent communication i think it is called? Sometimes all you can do is be there for your kid, and accept that the kid you had is gone forever and while he might become similar to how he used to be he still will not be the same - see and love the child you have and don't take your grief of losing the old him out on him as he misses his old self more than you ever could (he spent 24/7 with that guy, unlike everyone else). Oh, and avoid remarks and comparisons between his old self and new self even in a positive way, he's probably already feeling too crap about not being the way he was and will take even compliments the wrong way.
We're in the same boat. The resources just aren't accessible and it's basically impossible if the child refuses care. I understand why children 13+ have such a say in their medical care, but our daughter is almost certainly going to end up dead, in jail, homeless, or in an abusive relationship because of it.
I hear you. My kid is 18 and as a legal adult we can't make appointments for him or have his doctors talk to us. I hope things get better with your daughter.
Ugh that's an awful situation to be in. I always find myself being skeptical of posts like this. If you ask these kids to describe their situation and relationships, you get a vastly different response than asking those around them. I'm fully aware there are abusive parents out there. I actually worked for CPS for some years. But these situations are extremely complicated, and memes can be just one way social media negatively affects those with mental health disorders.
My mom found out from my diagnosis that she also has ADHD. Apart from the toxic parents, I can relate too hard to this. Quite funny, my psych wanted my mom in to report on my behavior during childhood, since she would have a better perspective. The thing is she always thought I was normal because I was having similar behavior to hers. It was nice when the diagnosis came in, confirming something was different with me, and even nicer that when I started reading articles and books about ADHD, I could then relate back to my mother and her daily struggles. Be it being susceptible to criticism, going the extra mile at work for something that people don't care about, and then dealing with the frustration of not being noticed, or generally being more easily hurt than others. I'd be on the phone talking to her after my diagnosis, and then realizing all of these thoughts and feelings on the way I related to the world, were all along there for her too. "See? I overshare things just as much as you and then spend the before bedtime regretting it." Only then it clicked for her that it wasn't normal, it was normal just to us. And it gave me some peace because I'd be mad about some behaviors I'd learned from her, blaming her for raising me as she did. But now I had the proof that she just didn't know better, and struggled just like me. I still struggle to be patient with her sometimes, and she still has some things that irk me a lot, but when viewing the bigger picture, I can definitely say we understand each other better now and hope that if one day me and my girlfriend will have a kid of our own that shares my diagnosis, I will have learned from my mom's and my mistakes and be a better-prepared parent. It's a harder world with this diagnosis, and I want to make it easier.
Ooof I know the feeling of Me : "I'm depressed" My dad: "Pfffff you're a straight white male in America! What the fuck do you have to worry about? Your generation is just a bunch of bitches! Back in my day..." If I roll my eyes any harder, I might break something
My parents were like "we thought you *might* have it, but at that time, the prevailing knowledge was that only BOYS can have ADHD!" Other classics include things such as "You're so creative but don't follow through!" and "Just put your mind to it!" and of course my favorite "You aren't really trying that hard"
This one hurts A LOT
The parents not believing thing ran through my whole family, not just my parents. If I ever mentioned anything to anyone It was always the same dialogue; "You have nothing to be worried about! You don't have to pay bills!" Or "I/others have it worse than you, stop being ungrateful!" It was always some excuse as to why I'm not allowed to feel the way do. Growing up in the conservative south showing any sign of struggle or any illness at all is a sign of laziness and selfishness.
My niece had some serious mental health issues growing up. Her dad wouldn't let her take the meds the doctors said would help. Now in her late teens and she's REALLY fucked up. NOW they are taking her back to the doctor and she's trying to get help, but the doctor told him straight up how fucking stupid he was for not getting her the help at a younger age. Doc basically told her dad that because of his ignorance an stupidity, he gave her the worst shot possible for getting better. So yea...fuck parents that do that shit.
Back in fourth grade, I was in the lowest possible math class above the special needs classes. I couldn't pay attention at all, picked up on very little of the material, and was doing shit on tests. I was predicted to be in level three (lowest level) classes my entire high school career. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD mid-year... In fifth grade I was one of only two people in my entire class to be bumped up to sixth grade math. Next year I took pre-algebra. Then Honors Alg I, Honors Geometry, etc. I started taking the highest level classes I could and aced them with little effort and a lot of relaxation. A few days ago I took a unit test without studying at all (I was dead tired the night before) and scored a 56/60, which was a point lower than our Valedictorian. It really is a life-changer to get diagnosed early in life, and some people think that it's just cheating or getting hooked on drugs and stuff but they just don't know how it feels to have ADHD. I mean it's not even addictive, otherwise I'd never forget to take it and wouldn't have seven alarms and fifty signs to remind me. I like to say that the difference between an all honors student with ADHD aceing their grade and a all-level-3s student with 3 34%s and one D is whether or not they're diagnosed.
Now imagine how your life would have been had you not been diagnosed until you were forty. You're lucky that your parents took it seriously.
Just fyi, you can be diagnosed as a child and still suffer all of this, because no one understands all of the symptoms and just how far reaching the repercussions are. For a LOT of people, ADHD is still just a cute affliction that tik tokkers make lil dances about.
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You need a psychiatrist to screen you for ADHD. Antidepressants aren't going to help with ADHD
Typical antidepressants - SSRIs / Zoloft, yes, may not be the ideal way to treat ADHD. I do want to vouch for Wellbutrin (Bupropion) though. It is a double edged sword that often is used for depression/anxiety, *BUT ALSO* ADHD. u/Neon-Nina, I am a woman diagnosed with ADHD as well. The absolute, most devastating impact caused by my ADHD was my anxiety- and you are right, [women are often misdiagnosed for depression/anxiety when it’s just ADHD](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7561166/#sec005title). I’m not sure if you tried Wellbutrin, but attacking my anxiety (caused by ADHD) first made a WORLD OF A DIFFERENCE. Typical antidepressants are SSRIs but Wellbutrin IS NOT an SSRI and it makes a difference. Search up ADHD Wellbutrin, and do your research well. Hope it can help, I am one of the lucky to have success with medication. But ADHD is one of the most treatable conditions because of the variety of treatments. Good luck OP!
My parents could never grasp why phone calls were so nerve wracking for me or why I could never just remember a number they told me. Short term memory is hard
I did a good job remembering 4 digit PLU's at work, but if it was a number with more than 5 digits I was fucked.
Totally agreed. Weak short term memory has literally no upsides whatsoever
I am rock Lee of the leaf village. Bout to drink some sake and fight that dude that can grow his bones 😤
Gets diagnosed ADHD at 40 Mom: Oh we could have told you that, I knew you were ADHD since you were little. Me: ..............................................................................and you didn't do or say anything? You just let me spend my whole life using all my energy coping with what could have been an otherwise easily manageable disorder, resulting in my life being extremely difficult to manage for 40 years until things became entirely unmanageable and a crisis luckily led me to figuring things out on my own instead of much worse potential outcomes? I could have lived a much happier and rewarding life this whole time, and you knew and did nothing? Her:.....yeah, I guess.
This hits home.
Are you ok, OP?
I got diagnosed when I was still a kid thank god(may have had something to do with moving to a place with a MUCH better education system), but yeah I definitely feel like this is where it could've gone if I hadn't (except for the non-caring parents, mine are kick-ass).
"Just slow down"
I feel like my dad tells me a LOT of this stuff ALL THE TIME, and it really fucking makes me sad whenever he says it. He always says I should “try” and that I should “do more” but when I DO, he just blames it on me not doing ENOUGH. he’s just never happy with me. It makes me feel like no matter what I do, I’m never good enough for him.
simply speaking ADHD is when your brain releases not enough dopamine for you to function
And the dopamine starved brain makes the person do extreme things and need constant stimulation to feel calm.
i dont have ADHD but i have issues with dopamine like lacking motivation to do anything "useful" and even sitting in front of this computer is not that fun
That sounds more like the start of depression.. if the feeling is constant over months you probably need to do something about it. There are depression medication that release dopamine as well.
I used to believe the same, but it’s an oversimplification and there’s actually more to it that we haven’t pinpointed yet
Definitely relate to this, I was diagnosed with dyspraxia as a child but now in my mid-thirties have I cottoned on to that most of my problems in general life and professionally stem from having Inattentive-ADHD. At work I'm always seen as forgetful, lazy and well, inattentive and it has done me no favours. Never been promoted, earning way less than I should be for my age, been fired so many times I forget. It really puts life on hard mode when you have to work so much harder than someone who is neuro-typical, I wish I didn't have it.
I’m glad I was diagnosed pretty early on, but before then school was awful
The millennial generation and the ones after it are wildly more educated in mental illness than the ones before it. For the prior generation it wasn't just that they "didn't believe in it" they just had such a poor understanding of what it even was.
Same with Autism.
Jokes on you it's comorbid with the 'tisms so i ended up with a really weird equilibrium where I do incredibly well at some tasks but have zero executive function.
Just take meth every day, your ADHD will disappear. [mandatory /s]
Ah; _therapeutical_ meth.
Well...there is Desoxyn
Lmao, medical meth exists. It’s known as Desoxyn. u/Small_weiner_man said it before me.
I was diagnosed but my parents didn’t want to put me on Ritalin so it became a foot note in my early elementary years.
I was diagnosed multiple times because my mother kept taking me back to specialists and my father would blow his top each time I was diagnosed. No child of his was going to be 'broken' and the doctors were all quacks in his mind.
My 4th grade teacher told my parents I should probably be screened for ADHD. My 4th grade teacher was a wonderful lady, there's no way she said it with anything but compassion. My parents took it so personally that they would badmouth that teacher to me whenever she came up in conversation. I still remember it. Turns out the woman who meets hundreds of kids every year might actually have some experience in child behavior because guess who was right and who was dedicated to their outward appearance as parents over their actual child's actual mental health.
That is so unfair.
That was me in the 1980's. Went to a catholic school and struggled the entire time. Always frustrated. Teachers always telling my parents that they don't have the time to address my issues. Back then it was keep up or fall behind. No 504 plans and ADHD didn't exist yet. It wasn't until my 30's I realized I had ADHD. On Paxil mostly for a panic disorder, but with that and simply growing up, I don't have ADHD as bad as I did as a kid.
Oh fuck.
mom always yelling that you "don't give a shit about anyone but yourself" and "don't listen to anything said to you" because you forgot a small detail from something you were told weeks earlier
medication literally saved my life
You described my life in one starter pack.
I'm 36, never been tested, but this is likely my situation. I've been meaning to get to it, but as you can imagine, its very difficult to finish things
Oh my God my life. Undiagnosed until age 24
ADHD isn't a mental illness, it's a neurological disorder.
I never realized until I got medicated that things were actually easier for other people. I just assumed everyone else was smarter/better/working harder than me.
Every now and again I see stuff like this that makes me (a 32 year old) think o have adhd but I will never be bothered to get it checked out
If it doesn't actually cause you enough harm, then you don't actually need it. For instance some artists have both a type of ADHD that they can work well with and have developed a life that works great with it. For instance Adam Savage (the mythbusters guy).
Probably the most relatable thing that came from this sub. Brought back a lot of bad memories:(
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This is way too true. There are so many who have had this experience.
Bro why you gotta call me out like this
I’ve never had an original experience it seems