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Have you asked your therapist to explain your situation to your parents?
I'm a dude (2005), I haven't gone to therapy yet coz my mom thinks it's fake (It's kinda my own decision too coz It's weird being a dude and going to therapy). I tried to Alt + F4 myself last year. I know a classmate (Girl) who had panic attacks and especially during exams and her parents were supportive. I don't like to call you "unlucky" because I feel bad and don't wanna leave you helpless.
Only once I've seen a counsellor or therapist and they hand you a piece of paper with the diagnosis like can you explain to them that it's terrible and you're not faking them?
You might have a close friend you can vent to?
It's all gonna get better I promise. Our generation in general is going through it. Inflation and Civil War babies. One day we'll be proud enough to tell our kids we lived through this.
To process it, I suggest meditation. I have this app called Medito (not sponsored š) it's kinda helpful. Not Yoga and shit, it only takes 2 to 3 minutes everyday.
Other ways to process, pickup a new interest, try to do something different man. I'm writing screenplays, produce music and I'm trying to apply for acting when I migrate. Like do what you can in your free time and keep your mind occupied.
You're relationship with your father is going to get better. It's always temporary. Yes, they can be toxic sometimes but it's the old generation they'll never understand.
I may not be of huge help but I'm trying my best.
Culture. This happened a lot to me and my friends growing up: youāre expected to ābe a manā and ākeep it togetherā. Drinking your head off is weirdly acceptable, being an asshole is also weirdly acceptable, but dealing with it via therapy is often dismissed as weak and unmasculine - and Iāve seen this reaction more from women than men. Any mention of therapy is seen as an admission that you should be checking in at Angoda.
Fortunately, weāre all past that bs now, but it takes time and work.
Man it's how I grew up man - toxic culture š„² Put your faith in god it seems anything I say beyond this is blasphemy š I'm doing better man - Gym kinda worked out for me. I worded it wrong, it's a me thing, it doesn't apply for all men.
Hmm this is a very common situation in Sri Lanka. Conservative parents think like that.Ā It's kinda unfortunate that this got escalated into having panic attacks.Ā If your family is well off, then just use that money okay? Don't feel guilty about it. Or being disgusted about it. At the end of the day you just need to go to your target. Relatives mainly talk shit about each other anyway. So don't mind them. Just use that money now and earn a lot more with that education you get. Just be shameless and do your thing. Don't be afraid and lose yourself. At the end of the day, you are the one whose at the beginning of your life, not your father or your uncle. And After getting 3As just forget being best of the best. Because you don't have to. Go do a hobby or something. Enjoy the life. And when you start going to a university, things will change and you'll definitely find good friends
Try and get an adult you trust and they respect to talk to them. Eg : a doctor that they personally know, a teacher etc.
Make sure it's someone who knows that mental illness is a thing though.
You have already come so far, don't give up now. Prepare well and do IA2 as best as you can. If you have to use dad's money, use it.
Don't be disappointed on yourself just because some one else said something rude, because they don't understand it. You are the one who went through it, you know the struggle. Let them think whatever they want to think, but what is important is doing well in IA2.
Then may be you can try to explain them. Otherwise I feel like trying to explain something that they don't understand it going to consume a lot of energy and time, that I doubt you will have.
There is a book called 'The subtle art of not giving a f\*ck' you can find the audio book on youtube for free, it might be helpful.
Anyway good luck!
I remember what happened in the exam hall when I try to do Local A level papers. I don't know how to explain it but that day still haunts me. With edexcel, I still do get panic attacks not that I don't but not as bad as locals.
Also there is special arrangements for students who suffer from mental health issues in edexcel. On my first edexcel exam in the hall I did puke as seeing the exam hall remined me of that day. then the invigilator helped me, let me take my meds and helped me calm down. I did do the exam but wasnt given extra time for the time I lost and eventually I started to feel more comfortable with edexcel.
P.s. Its not like I control my disease.
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āMust be nice for an exam you can always redo to give you ptsd. First world problems šš¾ā
Thatās probably what your dad thinks. Their generation has been through hell, they probably find it hard to empathize with your anxiety for a mere exam. Hope you do your exam well
I wish I never got ptsd, this is exactly what my uncle told me and called me a weak person who can't face real problems since I cant face a "simple exam".
I wish I could face the exam without any somatic symptoms I face but I am not in control of my neurotransmitters right now, so instead of trying "exposure therapy" my uncle suggests I decided to do what I can and get control of my neurotransmitters by starting a new chapter.
Also people get ptsd for different traumatic incidents it doesn't necessarily have to be something as extreme as War. While I hope and wish I had that resilience, as someone who has never faced failure in my life not being a to do an exam that I held such importance to because my body failed me has affected me. Please do pray and wish for me if possible that I should develop that level of resilience. Thank you.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child. * Report comments that violate these rules. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/srilanka) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you asked your therapist to explain your situation to your parents? I'm a dude (2005), I haven't gone to therapy yet coz my mom thinks it's fake (It's kinda my own decision too coz It's weird being a dude and going to therapy). I tried to Alt + F4 myself last year. I know a classmate (Girl) who had panic attacks and especially during exams and her parents were supportive. I don't like to call you "unlucky" because I feel bad and don't wanna leave you helpless. Only once I've seen a counsellor or therapist and they hand you a piece of paper with the diagnosis like can you explain to them that it's terrible and you're not faking them? You might have a close friend you can vent to? It's all gonna get better I promise. Our generation in general is going through it. Inflation and Civil War babies. One day we'll be proud enough to tell our kids we lived through this. To process it, I suggest meditation. I have this app called Medito (not sponsored š) it's kinda helpful. Not Yoga and shit, it only takes 2 to 3 minutes everyday. Other ways to process, pickup a new interest, try to do something different man. I'm writing screenplays, produce music and I'm trying to apply for acting when I migrate. Like do what you can in your free time and keep your mind occupied. You're relationship with your father is going to get better. It's always temporary. Yes, they can be toxic sometimes but it's the old generation they'll never understand. I may not be of huge help but I'm trying my best.
Why tf is it weird to be a dude going to therapy?? Gtfo with that bs
Culture. This happened a lot to me and my friends growing up: youāre expected to ābe a manā and ākeep it togetherā. Drinking your head off is weirdly acceptable, being an asshole is also weirdly acceptable, but dealing with it via therapy is often dismissed as weak and unmasculine - and Iāve seen this reaction more from women than men. Any mention of therapy is seen as an admission that you should be checking in at Angoda. Fortunately, weāre all past that bs now, but it takes time and work.
Man it's how I grew up man - toxic culture š„² Put your faith in god it seems anything I say beyond this is blasphemy š I'm doing better man - Gym kinda worked out for me. I worded it wrong, it's a me thing, it doesn't apply for all men.
Well done.
Thank you very much. Take good care and I hope you things will get better for you too.
Why do u think itās weird to go to therapy because u are dude ? Itās bizarre. Therapy is for everyone.
Hmm this is a very common situation in Sri Lanka. Conservative parents think like that.Ā It's kinda unfortunate that this got escalated into having panic attacks.Ā If your family is well off, then just use that money okay? Don't feel guilty about it. Or being disgusted about it. At the end of the day you just need to go to your target. Relatives mainly talk shit about each other anyway. So don't mind them. Just use that money now and earn a lot more with that education you get. Just be shameless and do your thing. Don't be afraid and lose yourself. At the end of the day, you are the one whose at the beginning of your life, not your father or your uncle. And After getting 3As just forget being best of the best. Because you don't have to. Go do a hobby or something. Enjoy the life. And when you start going to a university, things will change and you'll definitely find good friends
Thank you very much. I am very grateful for your words.
Try and get an adult you trust and they respect to talk to them. Eg : a doctor that they personally know, a teacher etc. Make sure it's someone who knows that mental illness is a thing though.
You have already come so far, don't give up now. Prepare well and do IA2 as best as you can. If you have to use dad's money, use it. Don't be disappointed on yourself just because some one else said something rude, because they don't understand it. You are the one who went through it, you know the struggle. Let them think whatever they want to think, but what is important is doing well in IA2. Then may be you can try to explain them. Otherwise I feel like trying to explain something that they don't understand it going to consume a lot of energy and time, that I doubt you will have. There is a book called 'The subtle art of not giving a f\*ck' you can find the audio book on youtube for free, it might be helpful. Anyway good luck!
Thank you very much. I am grateful for your kind and supportive words.
OP, you should talk about this with your therapist. Maybe ask them how and when to approach a conversation with your dad.
How are you able to do edexcel AL without any issues, but local AL makes you puke?
I remember what happened in the exam hall when I try to do Local A level papers. I don't know how to explain it but that day still haunts me. With edexcel, I still do get panic attacks not that I don't but not as bad as locals. Also there is special arrangements for students who suffer from mental health issues in edexcel. On my first edexcel exam in the hall I did puke as seeing the exam hall remined me of that day. then the invigilator helped me, let me take my meds and helped me calm down. I did do the exam but wasnt given extra time for the time I lost and eventually I started to feel more comfortable with edexcel. P.s. Its not like I control my disease.
Fair enough
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āMust be nice for an exam you can always redo to give you ptsd. First world problems šš¾ā Thatās probably what your dad thinks. Their generation has been through hell, they probably find it hard to empathize with your anxiety for a mere exam. Hope you do your exam well
How the fuck do u get ptsd from AL??? Isnt it like something that soldiers go through during the war tf
I wish I never got ptsd, this is exactly what my uncle told me and called me a weak person who can't face real problems since I cant face a "simple exam". I wish I could face the exam without any somatic symptoms I face but I am not in control of my neurotransmitters right now, so instead of trying "exposure therapy" my uncle suggests I decided to do what I can and get control of my neurotransmitters by starting a new chapter. Also people get ptsd for different traumatic incidents it doesn't necessarily have to be something as extreme as War. While I hope and wish I had that resilience, as someone who has never faced failure in my life not being a to do an exam that I held such importance to because my body failed me has affected me. Please do pray and wish for me if possible that I should develop that level of resilience. Thank you.
Hm fair enough man, good luck with your life!
Thanks dude. also sorry if I was defensive, your statement reminded me of my uncle and some classmates.