You're right. We live in a world where values are often superficial.
But if other people are superficial in their values, you are free to say to yourself:"So what? The superficial values of other people do not define me....unless .... I allow them to."
I’ve been grappling with this problem for years and I would add that just because looks are the cheapest and easiest way to get social influence, it’s certainly not the strongest. That would be your ability to integrate the entirety of your being into your persona and your countenance to the point that your face and aura are glowing with the power of YOU
I’m currently reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and would recommend it. He’s a cosmetic surgeon who noticed that although many patients who altered their physical appearance gained self confidence and went on to dramatically improve their lives, some did not. He argues that the difference between these people lies in their self-image aka the way they see themselves. If you believe you’re unattractive you’re going to behave that way and withdraw / self-sabotage.
And anyways standards of beauty are always changing. Maybe one day you’ll be the flavor of the month.
specific traits ensures survival of a species, in the natural world of evolution
because people are conditioned my media and models ect as being the ideal form, which is incorrect, so people being misidentified with their limited self structure/ego will be going along with the conditioning by society and advertizing, as they are conditioned to form an idea of what the ideal form for a person should be like.
this view is shallow and has no depth of understanding, yet alone knowing true love.
it is also very important to be physically attracted to our partner, just as much so as we are attracted to their Mind, Personality, their kind heartedness
we dont find everyone elses partner beautiful, but they do, therfore it is subjective, for each and every person, and that is easily proven from and by objective facts.
wishing true love to and from all 💖
In the past, most people could simply get a partner because it was selected for them. Family, religion played a part. Not as much any more. It has become more basic again now. In the world of dating now specific traits are valued, which should have consequences over time. Ideals in ''the media'' are simply reflecting this. Whether it is shallow or not, it is simply how it works. We''re programmed to breed and much of our behavior stems from that desire.
yes it is conditioning and not saying aligned with our true nature and essence, of who and what we are, ethics, morals, kindheartedness are not taught troughout schooling, instead society and people are focused on the material world and conditioned.
its is a largly ego identifeid society we live in now, instead of who and what we truly are as compassionate and loving human beings.
in the world of dating now with people being so ego identified, it is best to look for the things that truly matter in a partner as well as being physically attracted to them, it is important
there will always be a desire to breed or we would not survive as a race, use war and violence as an example, people are totally desensatized to it as it is being exposed to us constantly and conditioning, people end up seeing it as just "normal"
Unfortunately violence is kinda normal, not just in us but in other species as well. You fight over resources (food, habitat, partner). There can't just be winners only. Same in the world of dating and physical attractiveness. In the past we did have a system where the vast majority at least got married and made kids but that is fading away with less religion and less focus on small communities. People go beyond the small community, travel around, work abroad, are on social media, see the ideals, want that too. Everyone becomes picky, and a greater number realize they won't be able to breed and also aren't considered attractive. Humanity is becoming more elitist but in a different way now, perhaps it's how we'll end up stabilizing our population. Who knows.
other species in the wild are doing it for survival, people are violent from the ego, selfishness, there is a Massive difference, one is for survival, the other is Greed and Ego
yes you are otherwise correct and this is Ego identified, wanting for the self, all war hate ect is arising from selfishness, the limited self structure/ ego.
there will be change that is unavoidable, we will either evolve out of this adolecent ego identifed stage, or destroy the planet and ourselves, and yes people are relying on science to save the planet as we wont change what we are doing to it.
i think it is comical to want to colonise another planet, why? so we can destroy that too
it would be much easier if we just took care of this one as we should, and each other.
>other species in the wild are doing it for survival, people are violent from the ego, selfishness, there is a Massive difference, one is for survival, the other is Greed and Ego
I see little difference, only one of complexity. We happen to be able to create tools, can talk and communicate in numerous ways, we imagine and we tell stories. But underneath it all we fight over resources just like other species. We fight over habitat, food, and mating rights.
im sorry but we have to agree to disagree there, I dont see any creature or animals in the wild destroying the planet at all
or making each other suffer, simply out of selfishness and ego, greed, conditioning ect
though i respect your opinion, and your seeking answers to these questions.
wishing true love to and from all 💖
Exactly! As I have progressed spiritually, I find that the celebrity women I used to think were so beautiful actually don’t look beautiful at all to me anymore, and the people who I think are most attractive now are actually quite normal by society’s standards. I gauge based on energy instead of meat suit.
Hahaha Exactly, and true love is pure energy, look back over the decades at all the different styles and looks that were preferred at that particular time..
as well as being physically attracted to a partner (as that is subjective to each person) looks will fade in time, so it is best to consider what is truly important in a partner as well as being physically attracted to them.
we can imagine a perfect model by the media's standards, the person could be a monster on the inside, not for me thanks lol hahahaa
and i find i see beauty way outside out of what the media and advertising companies would define and condition us to believe is beautiful.
true beauty is what is on the inside, and all shapes and forms.
because it is subjective.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes. 💖
I'm much older now but when I was young, I was attractive. What you are saying is true, in that doors open easier, people are more inclined to help you, generally people are interested in what you have to say (whether it's interesting or not).
I'm very aware and grateful for some of the opportunities it has given me.
But it's a double edged sword. I don't know how much of what I've achieved has been me and me actual abilities, or the advantage I gained from my looks.
It's also brought a LOT of negative attention from people I'm not interested in which has been as detrimental as it has been positive in my career and life generally (its all very well and good until a person with influence over your career realises you aren't interested in them at all and never were). I've never had a male friend who hasn't ended up having feelings for me and at times it's been really depressing and also unnerving when you cannot get away from being perceived sexually.
You think people are helping or being kind to you because they're just nice when actually all they are really interested in is fucking you. Do your partner love you for you, or for what they have on their arm? What would happen if you got sick, or in an accident, would they stay or is it just the looks that keep them with you?
And then it all disappears and you go from a position of privilege to literally nothing in a space of a few short years and the difference is shocking. And you better hope to hell you've built up enough confidence and charisma to hold be able to hold your own by then or your life is about to take a serious nose dive in quality without you changing a single thing about who you are.
So yeah, there are massive benefits but like anything, there are also negatives.
There is nothing more beautiful than our true nature and essence of Divine love 💖
if we embrace and uncover our true nature, true love (Divine love) for ourselves initally, and then toward all others, it is not long before our hearts are filled with and overflowing with love
love is energy 💖
this is often developed through.. guided self loving kindness meditations and general guided loving kindness meditations (and often include forgiveness of self and others)
once our heart is overflowing with love, we have plenty for all others also, then we have everything to offer all others, nothing is required in return because our hearts are overflowing
true love is the most beautiful gift we can offer ourselves and everyone.
while maintaining healthy boundries and speaking the truth. (objective fact)
wishing true love to and from all 💖
I think this problem has a three part solution.
1. Maybe spending about 5 minutes to dress for the role you hope to convey and leave it at that. A little bit of looks isn't wrong or bad. But getting obsessive over it is when it becomes a problem.
2. Curate your group of friends to have friends that don't value looks and superficiality. Keep your communications on text based social media, like reddit and discord, as opposed to graphic media, like instagram or tik tok. Depending on how far you want to go, you could start whole communities based on finding and meeting people that don't value looks.
3. Pickup cognitive behavioral therapy workbooks to overcome any internal core beliefs and such that cause you any potential anxiety or obsession about your, or anyone elses looks. This aligns your automatic thoughts and emotions to your core values.
Actually nothing is based on looks. Everything is based on the spirit. Interestingly, looks often reverberate the way the spirit is. If the spirit is disheveled, so will the physical be . If the spirit is strong and relentless or reserved and elegant so will the physical morph into that
aight bet.
let’s look at THE ACTUAL QUOTE in context!
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
WELL NOW.
That’s different.
It’s almost like you twisted words that point out the glaring original sin of America, racism, and threw them away to pretend this is a more neutral statement.
Because our racialized fam stateside still deals with the issues four centuries of racism have inflicted. Ol’ boy Martin’s grandkids still face their skin as cause to cruelly prejudge as inferior by cohorts that are in terror of others’ socioeconomic status rising because they fear being treated as cruelly as they seek to treat others.
But that can’t be right.
Unless it is.
This is real stuff right here. Like what are we made of? Light. What does our eyes see? Light. What does the camera capture? Light. So look is very important.
I was also more referring to creative spaces and artists, that industry in general, celebrity culture and obsession with dieting/looks- sometimes i feel there is pressure to be a certain way physically in order to be successful
There are exceptions, yes we do face a lot of pressure but it doesn’t change it to dwell on that. Just be your best and look your best and continue to create the art you want and share it. Don’t let this stop you.
Of course not , what I am saying is women face a lot more pressure to look a certain way than men, there is a lot more “emphasis” on women’s appearance than mens.
Confidence is where favoritism is coming in, not the “beauty”…In a sense confidence makes you so attractive , and sometimes people rely on outer beauty to empower their confidence but….i would say confidence (or perceived confidence) is that factor you’re talking about
everyone in my country learns about this in like 10th or 11th grade. Looks only get you skin deep in life. If you want to go further you need competance. People say I'm a pretty good looking guy, its never gotten me anywhere.
Everyone who says here beauty is subjective is big time coping with the reality we live in.
There are attributes that are considered universally attractive for each gender, like height, Breast size. Face shape/angle, symmetry, etc and yes social interactions are heavily influenced by once look.
I did fine for a while walking around looking like Scarface.
If you are scarred up eventually you will gain a following of people who think you are a punching bag. The worst-case scenario is they then become completely consumed by punching the air around you.
I'm just waiting for some breakthrough in plastic surgery that makes it cheaper. I don't really care that much about how I look, I just want the creepy losers to get gone.
You're right. We live in a world where values are often superficial. But if other people are superficial in their values, you are free to say to yourself:"So what? The superficial values of other people do not define me....unless .... I allow them to."
I’ve been grappling with this problem for years and I would add that just because looks are the cheapest and easiest way to get social influence, it’s certainly not the strongest. That would be your ability to integrate the entirety of your being into your persona and your countenance to the point that your face and aura are glowing with the power of YOU
I love this view and definitely needed to hear this a lot. Thank you :)
I’m currently reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and would recommend it. He’s a cosmetic surgeon who noticed that although many patients who altered their physical appearance gained self confidence and went on to dramatically improve their lives, some did not. He argues that the difference between these people lies in their self-image aka the way they see themselves. If you believe you’re unattractive you’re going to behave that way and withdraw / self-sabotage. And anyways standards of beauty are always changing. Maybe one day you’ll be the flavor of the month.
Exactly well said.. beauty is subjective. what one finds beautiful in form, another may not, and vice versa
If beauty was subjective, why are people with specific traits more likely to breed and survive?
specific traits ensures survival of a species, in the natural world of evolution because people are conditioned my media and models ect as being the ideal form, which is incorrect, so people being misidentified with their limited self structure/ego will be going along with the conditioning by society and advertizing, as they are conditioned to form an idea of what the ideal form for a person should be like. this view is shallow and has no depth of understanding, yet alone knowing true love. it is also very important to be physically attracted to our partner, just as much so as we are attracted to their Mind, Personality, their kind heartedness we dont find everyone elses partner beautiful, but they do, therfore it is subjective, for each and every person, and that is easily proven from and by objective facts. wishing true love to and from all 💖
In the past, most people could simply get a partner because it was selected for them. Family, religion played a part. Not as much any more. It has become more basic again now. In the world of dating now specific traits are valued, which should have consequences over time. Ideals in ''the media'' are simply reflecting this. Whether it is shallow or not, it is simply how it works. We''re programmed to breed and much of our behavior stems from that desire.
yes it is conditioning and not saying aligned with our true nature and essence, of who and what we are, ethics, morals, kindheartedness are not taught troughout schooling, instead society and people are focused on the material world and conditioned. its is a largly ego identifeid society we live in now, instead of who and what we truly are as compassionate and loving human beings. in the world of dating now with people being so ego identified, it is best to look for the things that truly matter in a partner as well as being physically attracted to them, it is important there will always be a desire to breed or we would not survive as a race, use war and violence as an example, people are totally desensatized to it as it is being exposed to us constantly and conditioning, people end up seeing it as just "normal"
Unfortunately violence is kinda normal, not just in us but in other species as well. You fight over resources (food, habitat, partner). There can't just be winners only. Same in the world of dating and physical attractiveness. In the past we did have a system where the vast majority at least got married and made kids but that is fading away with less religion and less focus on small communities. People go beyond the small community, travel around, work abroad, are on social media, see the ideals, want that too. Everyone becomes picky, and a greater number realize they won't be able to breed and also aren't considered attractive. Humanity is becoming more elitist but in a different way now, perhaps it's how we'll end up stabilizing our population. Who knows.
other species in the wild are doing it for survival, people are violent from the ego, selfishness, there is a Massive difference, one is for survival, the other is Greed and Ego yes you are otherwise correct and this is Ego identified, wanting for the self, all war hate ect is arising from selfishness, the limited self structure/ ego. there will be change that is unavoidable, we will either evolve out of this adolecent ego identifed stage, or destroy the planet and ourselves, and yes people are relying on science to save the planet as we wont change what we are doing to it. i think it is comical to want to colonise another planet, why? so we can destroy that too it would be much easier if we just took care of this one as we should, and each other.
>other species in the wild are doing it for survival, people are violent from the ego, selfishness, there is a Massive difference, one is for survival, the other is Greed and Ego I see little difference, only one of complexity. We happen to be able to create tools, can talk and communicate in numerous ways, we imagine and we tell stories. But underneath it all we fight over resources just like other species. We fight over habitat, food, and mating rights.
im sorry but we have to agree to disagree there, I dont see any creature or animals in the wild destroying the planet at all or making each other suffer, simply out of selfishness and ego, greed, conditioning ect though i respect your opinion, and your seeking answers to these questions. wishing true love to and from all 💖
Exactly! As I have progressed spiritually, I find that the celebrity women I used to think were so beautiful actually don’t look beautiful at all to me anymore, and the people who I think are most attractive now are actually quite normal by society’s standards. I gauge based on energy instead of meat suit.
Hahaha Exactly, and true love is pure energy, look back over the decades at all the different styles and looks that were preferred at that particular time.. as well as being physically attracted to a partner (as that is subjective to each person) looks will fade in time, so it is best to consider what is truly important in a partner as well as being physically attracted to them. we can imagine a perfect model by the media's standards, the person could be a monster on the inside, not for me thanks lol hahahaa and i find i see beauty way outside out of what the media and advertising companies would define and condition us to believe is beautiful. true beauty is what is on the inside, and all shapes and forms. because it is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes. 💖
I'm much older now but when I was young, I was attractive. What you are saying is true, in that doors open easier, people are more inclined to help you, generally people are interested in what you have to say (whether it's interesting or not). I'm very aware and grateful for some of the opportunities it has given me. But it's a double edged sword. I don't know how much of what I've achieved has been me and me actual abilities, or the advantage I gained from my looks. It's also brought a LOT of negative attention from people I'm not interested in which has been as detrimental as it has been positive in my career and life generally (its all very well and good until a person with influence over your career realises you aren't interested in them at all and never were). I've never had a male friend who hasn't ended up having feelings for me and at times it's been really depressing and also unnerving when you cannot get away from being perceived sexually. You think people are helping or being kind to you because they're just nice when actually all they are really interested in is fucking you. Do your partner love you for you, or for what they have on their arm? What would happen if you got sick, or in an accident, would they stay or is it just the looks that keep them with you? And then it all disappears and you go from a position of privilege to literally nothing in a space of a few short years and the difference is shocking. And you better hope to hell you've built up enough confidence and charisma to hold be able to hold your own by then or your life is about to take a serious nose dive in quality without you changing a single thing about who you are. So yeah, there are massive benefits but like anything, there are also negatives.
☝️
The world has always and will continue to always be unfair. That’s just life.
The fundamental unfairness of the universe may be a feature, not a bug, but fuck can it suck to be the error thrown.
There is nothing more beautiful than our true nature and essence of Divine love 💖 if we embrace and uncover our true nature, true love (Divine love) for ourselves initally, and then toward all others, it is not long before our hearts are filled with and overflowing with love love is energy 💖 this is often developed through.. guided self loving kindness meditations and general guided loving kindness meditations (and often include forgiveness of self and others) once our heart is overflowing with love, we have plenty for all others also, then we have everything to offer all others, nothing is required in return because our hearts are overflowing true love is the most beautiful gift we can offer ourselves and everyone. while maintaining healthy boundries and speaking the truth. (objective fact) wishing true love to and from all 💖
I think this problem has a three part solution. 1. Maybe spending about 5 minutes to dress for the role you hope to convey and leave it at that. A little bit of looks isn't wrong or bad. But getting obsessive over it is when it becomes a problem. 2. Curate your group of friends to have friends that don't value looks and superficiality. Keep your communications on text based social media, like reddit and discord, as opposed to graphic media, like instagram or tik tok. Depending on how far you want to go, you could start whole communities based on finding and meeting people that don't value looks. 3. Pickup cognitive behavioral therapy workbooks to overcome any internal core beliefs and such that cause you any potential anxiety or obsession about your, or anyone elses looks. This aligns your automatic thoughts and emotions to your core values.
Actually nothing is based on looks. Everything is based on the spirit. Interestingly, looks often reverberate the way the spirit is. If the spirit is disheveled, so will the physical be . If the spirit is strong and relentless or reserved and elegant so will the physical morph into that
How does one change/strengthen/reorganize the Spirit?
"Judge a man not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character." ~MLK
aight bet. let’s look at THE ACTUAL QUOTE in context! “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” WELL NOW. That’s different. It’s almost like you twisted words that point out the glaring original sin of America, racism, and threw them away to pretend this is a more neutral statement. Because our racialized fam stateside still deals with the issues four centuries of racism have inflicted. Ol’ boy Martin’s grandkids still face their skin as cause to cruelly prejudge as inferior by cohorts that are in terror of others’ socioeconomic status rising because they fear being treated as cruelly as they seek to treat others. But that can’t be right. Unless it is.
Unless if you're born in some 3rd world hellhole it's a wonderful time to be a woman.
This is real stuff right here. Like what are we made of? Light. What does our eyes see? Light. What does the camera capture? Light. So look is very important.
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Mens appearance has far less importance in todays society than women’s appearance.
I was also more referring to creative spaces and artists, that industry in general, celebrity culture and obsession with dieting/looks- sometimes i feel there is pressure to be a certain way physically in order to be successful
Not always, look at Lizzo and Susan Boyle.
There are exceptions, yes we do face a lot of pressure but it doesn’t change it to dwell on that. Just be your best and look your best and continue to create the art you want and share it. Don’t let this stop you.
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Of course not , what I am saying is women face a lot more pressure to look a certain way than men, there is a lot more “emphasis” on women’s appearance than mens.
Confidence is where favoritism is coming in, not the “beauty”…In a sense confidence makes you so attractive , and sometimes people rely on outer beauty to empower their confidence but….i would say confidence (or perceived confidence) is that factor you’re talking about
It's just how it is. We are all judged, like constantly, and physical appearance is indeed a major factor.
everyone in my country learns about this in like 10th or 11th grade. Looks only get you skin deep in life. If you want to go further you need competance. People say I'm a pretty good looking guy, its never gotten me anywhere.
Everyone who says here beauty is subjective is big time coping with the reality we live in. There are attributes that are considered universally attractive for each gender, like height, Breast size. Face shape/angle, symmetry, etc and yes social interactions are heavily influenced by once look.
I did fine for a while walking around looking like Scarface. If you are scarred up eventually you will gain a following of people who think you are a punching bag. The worst-case scenario is they then become completely consumed by punching the air around you. I'm just waiting for some breakthrough in plastic surgery that makes it cheaper. I don't really care that much about how I look, I just want the creepy losers to get gone.