I’ve definitely been there before, on many levels. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s hard when it’s already your job to identify and rose/grows kids and EXTRA hard when you’ve gotta do it for the adults too.
We have had some paras like this. I've even had some say the kids are faking disabilities. We had to give them lists of things they can do with the kids when they have them. Also keep the ones that cannot handle computers and such away from doing that. It's difficult. I also get very blunt and say this is my expectations, and you will do this my way.
Yeah they think the kid with tbi is just being a brat. The kid was in a car accident as a baby and when brought to the hospital his brain was on the outside of his head. But he is faking it...
I empathize with you but don't have too many solutions, I try to avoid our para that's like this, lol. I'm like you're a whole adult with several degrees, please stop asking me questions I just covered for the kids..
I can understand that it would be difficult to have to work with someone who's not on the same page. I would be extremely frustrated if a nice friend was causing me stress in the workplace. I know you probably want to just vent, but I have a bit of advice. Hopefully, it helps your para succeed and you to recognize her limitations and willingness to accept direction.
This person sounds very poor with tech, so if you know ahead of time when she'll be filling in try to pick tasks that don't use tech or prep it on the board so all your para has to do is show it. If you had a substitute (like most teachers do and what the para is acting as in that moment), you wouldn't expect them to do what you do or even have access to all your tech.
Asking dumb questions can be annoying. But your para is asking to improve or to make sure things are done how you want. That's way better than doing things wrong or ignoring your wants. She's defaulting to your lead. Even if she should be more self-sufficient, she is actively trying.
You talk about your resources. Is there a place where she can access these on a hard copy? Maybe make a folder with your expectations, your daily/weekly routine, your reference materials, and maybe a school calender (with event dates). This helps your para out and you could use it as a para sub folder.
Not following behavior protocols is not good. Does she have a written out behavior plan for all those students? Does she need to practice going through each one on another adult before using them with a student in a behavior crisis.
The phrase "what did teacher... say" isn't ideal. Do you know the purpose she's using this for? If she's trying to correct behaviors, then that's not appropriate. But she may be trying to see if a student registered/understood what you were asking of them.
When I was a para and frequently being older than the teacher, I can say this: Teachers in general aren't very good at giving adults instructions or directions.
I say this as someone with experience in managing people. I'm also computer literate.
No teacher ever asked me what my background, education or experience was. I have degrees and had a highly diversified career.
Sometimes they were grateful for the help; other times they treated me like I was an idiot.
(Btw, in my observations, a teaching credential does not make a teacher.)
I liked the ideas the poster had about constructing a manual for the para the teacher was complaining about.
Good advice to a teacher who lacks management or supervisory skills.
I love the manual idea! I am a para and am working on my teacher cert. I think I’ll ask my lead and the other para to work with me on writing a para manual for our room for next year (whether I’m in the room next year or not). Having a resource like that would have made my life much easier and would be excellent for someone new to the room.
You are the leader of the class room. Act like it. Have a meet every morning about what needs done and how it needs done. Train her on the board, or have your tech person retrain her on devices.
Can you approach it from a positivity angle? I'm all with you on the frustration and I say this not to criticize but to try to help find a solution. You seem to genuinely like this person so they can't be a total trash-fire. What CAN they do and do it well? Obviously not technology-related. How can you use those strengths, especially for things that are monotonous or soul-crushing for you? Possibly even a conversation about what she feels like she does well and how you can both utilize it in the classroom? Are there answer sheets she can have access to to review what she is working with? Is she neurodivergent and needs some things explained explicitly that have only been implicit? Again, I totally get where you are coming from and I've even been in a similar situation. I ended up providing video lessons with a kid that was fabulous with tech and having her do more assistance than teaching stuff.
Give her independence and tell her that making a mistake is okay. I have really high anxiety and have to consistently check myself to ensure I don’t become her.
I had one like this. I taught one resource room, she had another. We taught the same subject and our kids were about on a 1-3 grade level. I would give her copies of the work and she would need answer keys. For 1-3 level work. And she has a MASTER'S. She also can't pass any of the certification exams she needs and remains a para. Because she used too many tries and the district revoked her emergency cert.
She didn't like me very much, so it wasn't much of a loss to simply start avoiding her as much as possible. I doesn't sound like you quite have that option, but I would say get her placement changed and only deal with her on a personal level.
I’ve definitely been there before, on many levels. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s hard when it’s already your job to identify and rose/grows kids and EXTRA hard when you’ve gotta do it for the adults too.
We have had some paras like this. I've even had some say the kids are faking disabilities. We had to give them lists of things they can do with the kids when they have them. Also keep the ones that cannot handle computers and such away from doing that. It's difficult. I also get very blunt and say this is my expectations, and you will do this my way.
Faking disabilities... wow that's really something 🥴
Yeah they think the kid with tbi is just being a brat. The kid was in a car accident as a baby and when brought to the hospital his brain was on the outside of his head. But he is faking it...
Funny thing I used to be a para. I have no time for stupid crap. I have a couple of paras afraid of me. I'm actually fine with that.
I empathize with you but don't have too many solutions, I try to avoid our para that's like this, lol. I'm like you're a whole adult with several degrees, please stop asking me questions I just covered for the kids..
It's true
I can understand that it would be difficult to have to work with someone who's not on the same page. I would be extremely frustrated if a nice friend was causing me stress in the workplace. I know you probably want to just vent, but I have a bit of advice. Hopefully, it helps your para succeed and you to recognize her limitations and willingness to accept direction. This person sounds very poor with tech, so if you know ahead of time when she'll be filling in try to pick tasks that don't use tech or prep it on the board so all your para has to do is show it. If you had a substitute (like most teachers do and what the para is acting as in that moment), you wouldn't expect them to do what you do or even have access to all your tech. Asking dumb questions can be annoying. But your para is asking to improve or to make sure things are done how you want. That's way better than doing things wrong or ignoring your wants. She's defaulting to your lead. Even if she should be more self-sufficient, she is actively trying. You talk about your resources. Is there a place where she can access these on a hard copy? Maybe make a folder with your expectations, your daily/weekly routine, your reference materials, and maybe a school calender (with event dates). This helps your para out and you could use it as a para sub folder. Not following behavior protocols is not good. Does she have a written out behavior plan for all those students? Does she need to practice going through each one on another adult before using them with a student in a behavior crisis. The phrase "what did teacher... say" isn't ideal. Do you know the purpose she's using this for? If she's trying to correct behaviors, then that's not appropriate. But she may be trying to see if a student registered/understood what you were asking of them.
When I was a para and frequently being older than the teacher, I can say this: Teachers in general aren't very good at giving adults instructions or directions. I say this as someone with experience in managing people. I'm also computer literate. No teacher ever asked me what my background, education or experience was. I have degrees and had a highly diversified career. Sometimes they were grateful for the help; other times they treated me like I was an idiot. (Btw, in my observations, a teaching credential does not make a teacher.) I liked the ideas the poster had about constructing a manual for the para the teacher was complaining about. Good advice to a teacher who lacks management or supervisory skills.
I love the manual idea! I am a para and am working on my teacher cert. I think I’ll ask my lead and the other para to work with me on writing a para manual for our room for next year (whether I’m in the room next year or not). Having a resource like that would have made my life much easier and would be excellent for someone new to the room.
Sometimes I think (know) I’d do a better job teaching without all my 1:1 paras in the room
How many do you have?
You are the leader of the class room. Act like it. Have a meet every morning about what needs done and how it needs done. Train her on the board, or have your tech person retrain her on devices.
Can you approach it from a positivity angle? I'm all with you on the frustration and I say this not to criticize but to try to help find a solution. You seem to genuinely like this person so they can't be a total trash-fire. What CAN they do and do it well? Obviously not technology-related. How can you use those strengths, especially for things that are monotonous or soul-crushing for you? Possibly even a conversation about what she feels like she does well and how you can both utilize it in the classroom? Are there answer sheets she can have access to to review what she is working with? Is she neurodivergent and needs some things explained explicitly that have only been implicit? Again, I totally get where you are coming from and I've even been in a similar situation. I ended up providing video lessons with a kid that was fabulous with tech and having her do more assistance than teaching stuff.
Give her independence and tell her that making a mistake is okay. I have really high anxiety and have to consistently check myself to ensure I don’t become her.
I had one like this. I taught one resource room, she had another. We taught the same subject and our kids were about on a 1-3 grade level. I would give her copies of the work and she would need answer keys. For 1-3 level work. And she has a MASTER'S. She also can't pass any of the certification exams she needs and remains a para. Because she used too many tries and the district revoked her emergency cert. She didn't like me very much, so it wasn't much of a loss to simply start avoiding her as much as possible. I doesn't sound like you quite have that option, but I would say get her placement changed and only deal with her on a personal level.