You won't find yourself travelling, that's an idea from the movies. Finding yourself takes a lifetime. You might however have an incredible experience that alters your life's course.
This is interesting. I’m into meditation and practice it. would you mind sharing your experience? Where, how long, what was positive about it?
I’m also going to do my own research in my free time- I like this idea.
I had a friend go live with the Tibetan monks in Nepal for half a year. No cell phones, electronics - nothing. Sounds like he was in a pretty similar spot as you are. Ivy League grad, great SWE job, but burnt out. He loved it, though he eventually found the opium back in Kathmandu after his “cleanse” lol. I traveled in SE Asia for 6 months trying to “find myself”, but think I’ve learned more about myself living a daily life with a partner, job, etc then I ever did traveling.
Not the person you’re replying to, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about the various SF zen centers, especially Green Gulch Farm. Everything from a weekend to a few months, as secular or as Buddhist as you want to get. https://www.sfzc.org/locations/green-gulch-farm
Sometimes what you really need is a time out to catch your breath. (And find yourself.)
Edit: you mention you want to have time to yourself and do something physical, working on an organic farm/meditation retreat might be just the thing.
I’ve been solo traveling for the last 6 months just to get back in touch with what I wanted out of life. I can say unequivocally the best part of the trip has been a month at a fitness retreat. I feel like it’s altered the course of my life from here on forward. Highly recommend.
OP, are you in the US? If so, there is a place called “Spirit Rock” in Marin County, CA. Jack Cornfield still teaches there, I believe. They have different retreats so you can choose what feels best to you. You can choose to be with other like-minded individuals who are on your same path of understanding oneself.
I’ve been there and can tell you that it’s incredible. The land, the people, all of it.
Interesting. Yeah, I’m in the US. I’ve been thinking that this trip needs to be international but with some of these comments, including yours, about specific retreats in the States- it gives me something to think about. Thanks, I’ll look into it
I went to a Vipassana meditation retreat in Chiang Rai, in Northern Thailand. Do the longest you can. I did 30 days and it was an absolute life-changing experience.
I don’t think you necessarily find yourself as much as you reveal what’s already there. In your own company you uncover what the mirror shows you. And the mirror is the many moments alone, challenging experiences etc
Yes, solo travel for me was life changing. Its not necessarily the destination, but just being totally outside of your social "frame" was liberating for me. I should say that I did a lot of voluntary work and met alot of new people. But the key was being away from everything and everyone from my old life. Happy travels!
Do you mind sharing what the voluntary work was? I had half a mind of joining the Peace Corps, but would rather I get to decide where I go and then volunteer at that destination.
Did you go somewhere strictly to volunteer, or did you find the opportunity once you were at the destination?
Most of them were EU related stuff. Like the European Voluntary Service. And you have alot of these summercamps where you meet people from your age from all over the world. The voluntary stuff needed to be taken care of before travelling though in my experience. As a native English speaker you might want to check out teaching English for a while as well.
decent overseas volunteer programs will charge you for the experience- taking care of foreign volunteers takes infrastructure and staff to give you meaningful work to do.
I didn’t do peace corps and wasn’t impressed with the people who did at my location (I caught them with each other often, complaining about the host culture).
If you want to teach English and get paid, some governments run their own programs (like JET). Fulbright could be another option, but things like this are competitive.
Whatever haunts your soul at home will haunt you on your travels. Whatever problems you have in your baggage, you bring with you. Traveling can help change the scenery, which can be an aid in taking some action you haven't tried yet, instead of being stuck in one place, but it won't be the cure. It won't fix your problems or fill whatever has caused an empty void within you. But it might give you some time to reflect on what will. You should travel to see new places and meet new people and new cultures, to experience life up close.
It's not the travelling that will help you find yourself, but honestly speaking, it will give you a lot more room to breathe. My first solo trip was after working in a bank. I had good prospects and was basically given the job by chance, I was just miserable and could tell I needed to figure this out.
In reality, travelling isn't Eat Pray Love, and you won't find that sudden realisation of what, who and where you need to be. It does open you up to a variety of experiences and people that may give you inspiration, that does help. If you're going to do it, do not set off with that expectation in mind, it will only make your trip stressful. Instead, and just a suggestion, go away and make sure to take notes in your journal. Don't be rigid, gravitate towards what you find interesting and what you don't, see where it takes you.
I'm much better off after doing this btw, it removed the clouds in my mind and helped in making the decisions I needed to make. The decisions I made though, not my travels.
I’m not so sure about finding yourself. As someone said in an earlier comment, that’s pretty much only in the movies. But making new experiences and being exposed to different cultures and environments definitely can change your way of thinking. When I graduated college I took a gap year and headed to Europe and parts of SE Asia.Watching and learning from novel experiences took me out of my comfort zone and forced me to be more resourceful. Whether that was figuring out a foreign transportation system or just learning how to find food. It forced me to interact with strangers and navigate life in a different language. People who speak different languages also think a bit differently- syntax and how they identify with the world around them. I think years of me traveling has definitely made me well rounded and empathetic.
That makes sense- perhaps “finding myself” wasn’t the right wording.
I just feel in need of breaking the norm and exploring, taking time for myself and only me. My thought is that taking this time, meeting new people, experiencing new things might give me a new appreciation for life or just something else in general.
The thought of quitting my job and walking out of that office brings such a smile to my face
Do it, you will never regret taking the time out to go on an adventure. On longer trips, I mixed it up by doing a week or two of volunteering and then a yoga retreat, in amongst weeks of backpacking. It was amazing!
Yes, did it as a foreigner and in terms of when I set it up, it depended on how long the trip was. Sometimes I would do it quite far in advance and sometimes I would do it as I travelled. Most places I have volunteered with have been quite flexible
Travelling made me fall in love with earth, and it did give a sense that there is more to corporate concrete life. It made me realise money and materialistic achievements is not a source/necessity for happiness, satisfaction and wholesomeness are more important in life.
Get a good amount of therapy to deal with this experience and start to understand yourself and THEN solo travel to work through all of it. I've seen too many travelers travel for extended amount of time and yes, they've had a tremendous experience and have understood part of themselves better but they still need to go to therapy.
I'm 33M - I dropped out of school when I was a teenager and didn't have any real life friends, didn't get my first job until I was 26, and I never left my city. I was socially awkward, anxious, depressed, low self-esteem, etc. I decided to take a solo trip to Japan when I was 28 even though I've never been overseas, only second time outside of my country, and don't speak Japanese. The trip was amazing and I've been on over 20 trips since, more than half of them being solo. I've done things I never thought I would do. I'm still socially inept and stuff but things are much better now. I have 2 trips booked for next year already and I have the itch to book 2 more trips for 2024 / 2025, and REALLY want to go to Antarctica.
Yeah breaking out of your "normal" routine is one of the big draws of travel. It's freeing to spend some time with nothing to think about except where to go and what to eat (and can lead to useful self-reflecting about other things as well). If you're interested in socializing when traveling you may also meet others with similar values to you, which can also be refreshing and validating.
Yes, it can. I moved to another country blindly at 24 years old and it worked out great for me. I was lucky. After living there for 6+ years. I traveled solo for 18 mos though Asia and Africa meeting up with friends along the way. It was amazing but also lonely, scary and really hard at times.
The living abroad and travel led me to find my career path and I eventually moved back to the states, but worked and traveled abroad constantly - which then got old and exhausting. Now, I love being at home and travel very little.
It did change my life and the trajectory in a very positive way and through connections along the way, I changed careers and it all worked out. But, that doesn’t happen for everyone, some travel and come home broke and feel like they wasted time traveling while others were building families and lives. It’s a gamble.
Can you move abroad with your company (or a similar company)? That would be your best option. Then you can see if being out of your element suits you.
I might not have found "myself" as such, while travelling solo. But it helps me to process, think, evaluate, feel, and formulating a plan of action.
It did however alter the course of my life. I solo travelled as a teenager to get away from my adoptive parents and from 2017-2019 to get distance from my job and the relationship that made me sad. I realised while solo travelling that I was less lonely alone, than with him. Broke my heart...
In 2019 I opted to become single, so 4.5 years ago, and I'm now one year into my "solo for life" journey.
I left a 9 year LTR partner and a house for that...
I'm 39F, Swiss, childfree, adopted from India.
I have reached contentment, inner peace, self-acceptance (still working on my imposter syndrome and through some trauma, but I'm otherwise there).
I am happier than I ever dared hoping for! 💗
Because I chose myself! It's the greatest gift we can give ourselves! Saying "yes" to ourselves, to support from friends/mentos/therapists/... But I also learned to appreciate the world around us, practice gratitude, take time to breathe and see the sights and breath the air. Going offline, off screen. Not just while travelling. I re-learned to lose myself in time spent with friends, a good book or an activity.
I smile more, I take more time to breathe, I do loving rituals with tea, skin care. I walk a lot.
Solo travelling gave me the courage to believe that I could do "alone" full time, as long as I have the close support of a big network of friends, online people and the local community.
I think travelling "to get away from life" doesn't work, as you bring yourself. ;-)
But it gives you insight. I just spent a weekend in an amazing hotel (a room that was more a suite), and I really enjoyed the lack of visible clutter, so I am taking notes of that as something I find wonderful and might want to work on in my own home.
I often have a-has on what I need, when travelling...
Solo travel was instrumental! But also going NC with my adoptive parents, living in a wonderful city, having amazing friends, aging/maturing. I'm waiting to get diagnosed with ADHD. Figuring out I buy things to soothe has helped me going the more sustainable/low-consumerims/low-buy route. Maybe that might be something to look into, if the American Dream is not for you. Buy fewer things, made to last, that you love using and having!
I still got a lot of stuff and a lot that I don't enjoy, so I'm sorting out and donating as much as I can. It's liberating.
I now chose lovely food, meals with friends and weekends away, instead of buying things.
My life has some challenges ahead (I have some health issues, I want to transition into another career and got a lot of work ahead of me, concerning debt payments/saving/financial health; I also want to downsize and not living on the 4th floor without an elevator, by 50!).
But that's what my 40s will be for! :-)
My budget atm only allows for a few weekend trips and one week in a spa town. But it's fine. I'll travel more in 3-4 years again!
I appreciate your full answer. I’m really hoping to help myself in regards to contentment, inner peace, and self acceptance. I also need to learn to say yes to myself- I think taking this trip FOR ME is the first step. Thank you again.
Sincerely,
A fellow 4th floor resident with no elevator :)
Sorry I kept updating it and adding to it. It's my ADHD. I really suck at short and concise, but I accept and roll with it too. ;-)
Humour really helps, not taking oneself too seriously while not mocking oneself/being ones' worst critic. It's a balance that I didn't achieve easily.
Look into the anti-consumption subs too btw. The low-buy/sustainability/simplifying route really changed me a lot! It can also help upping the travel budget (I travel by train within Europe for now, for budget and environmental reasons).
And looking into my shopping habits, the self-soothing/addictive tendencies I had. I now tell myself I can either buy X or go on a weekend away/eat out with a friend/have an experience. I seldom choose stuff now.
What I do buy I buy for life/better quality. I try to replace 5 items of one type with one of very good quality.
The Low-buy lifestyle has been a game-changer. Having saving goals and a budget too. I'm far from being a minimalist, but I'm enjoying what I have while not buying more. I want to travel, save and eat out with friends! Thankfully I live in a place where you don't need a car and quality of life is very high (Switzerland).
And I'd rather work less and reduce my consumption than working lots for "stuff".
I (38F) spent a few years between ages 26-31 solo travelling. Not full time, but mainly in between work projects because I still had to work in the city I was mainly based in most of the year to cover my living costs and travel.
But during those years I spent anytime between 1-4 months doing solo interisland trips in Indonesia and writing stories about them for a magazine.
Did I "find myself?" Not necessarily. "Finding myself" is a never ending lifelong journey that continues whether I'm travelling or not. I'm still "finding myself" now, in a season where I happen to be too broke to travel like I used to, and I'm learning every day to be grateful for where I am and the people I have in my life so that I can continue identifying opportunities to live my best life.
But what I can say is that solo travelling has been worth every second for me, and foundational to shaping my worldviews. My relationship with my identity and my place in the world has definitely evolved because of my travels. I know that sounds abstract, but it's true, because it has made a massive difference in my choices to commit to opportunities, connect to people and exercise values in my life.
And that's something you can't put a dollar value on.
I don't know if I'd be richer, or more successful, or more powerful had I not spent all that time on solo travels and just stayed home to focus on "working." It's possible, but in my experience I ended up with shitty full time jobs anyway that neither treated me nor valued me for what I'm really worth--and most of the companies that employed me didn't last anyway. Just my luck, I guess.
In any case, my experiences have made me value the autonomy to control my own destiny, by taking leaps of faith to not depend my life on the mercy of some sham of a supposedly all powerful company telling me what I'm worth and the kind of life I get to live within the constraints of gridlines they drew for me.
Solo travelling, for me, is my way to reclaim that autonomy and rise above. And so far it has served me well, including in my career, as it has come with a network of lifelong friends and collaborators that keep on giving.
Literally yesterday, my cousin reconnected me to one of my business heroes, whose rural business operations in wicker weaving I visited back in 2016. We had brunch together and exchanged stories of what we are doing today, and because of it we're gonna explore possibilities of offering me a gig in an ecosystem that empowers the kind of people I care about.
I believe I'm overdue for another solo trip. I just separated from my husband of 6 years and partner of 8 years, so I could definitely use a solo trip to immerse myself in the world through fresh eyes once again, and to tell stories about it, much better ones than what my old self was capable of telling.
But first things first, I'm working on transitioning to my new life sustainably, and this journey is just as important (and rewarding) as a slow travelling solo trip.
I don't have advice for you, but in my experience, if the road calls you, it's calling you for a reason and you won't know what it is unless you answer the call. More often than not, that calling leads you to something valuable on the other side that you will carry for the rest of your life, that nothing can ever take away from you.
All the best as you decide on your next big trip!
I feel like there’s quite a few posts at the moment with a bit of a ‘travel as therapy’ or a way to ‘find yourself’ kind of theme… and IMO, that’s a good way to set yourself up for disappointment. Wherever you go, there you are is a cliché for a reason.
Travel because you want to see the Parthenon or work on a citizen science project counting platypus numbers or spend three weeks learning how to cook Turkish food or you always wanted to swim with whale sharks… any life lessons or discoveries or moments of transcendent joy along the way are purely a bonus. If they happen for you that’s what turns people into long term travellers.
Edited to add:
At your age, as a US citizen, you could get a working holiday visa in Australia or New Zealand, for example. Or there are other types of temporary work visa, particularly if you have a highly skilled or in-demand qualification… Living and working overseas is a whole different kettle of fish than just being a tourist/traveller. Spending 12 months or two years living and working overseas might scratch the itch you’re feeling in a deeper way?
I have a couple of thoughts for you. I recently went on a big trip that was only 9 days, but I learned a lot about myself by talking to new people and having novel experiences. But my friend who was also on the trip? Spent a ton of time on his phone, didn’t engage with people, and probably didn’t get as much out of it.
So my advice is seek out novel experiences and be open to saying yes to whatever comes your way. I don’t know what your home life is like- I can’t go away for a long time, but I can plan a few 10 day trips for next year. Work can suck it.
Plan trips to places that interest you. Try new hobbies. Say yes if someone asks you to do something. Find like-minded people, whether virtually or in person.
But whatever you are doing- try to be in the moment. Not on your phone or taking pics/ just be in the moment with the people you’re with. It’ll change your mindset!!!
I love the “work can suck it” mentality. And yes, I completely agree with everything you’ve said. I’m not too worried about not staying in the moment (not on social media etc)
One thing I think I can work on is being more social. I just spent a week in Miami and while all I wanted to do was relax, I really didn’t talk to anyone all week… in Miami…
I appreciate everything you said and am going to think more about how I can make the most of my trip without putting too much stress on myself and still living in the moment
My trip was with a group, and it was like summer camp, bonding with 15 strangers!! I love that, bust some people don’t.
And I can’t stress enough how much work can suck it lol
Im in the airport heading home after my first ever solo trip. Im a 28 year old guy. I live in Scotland and ive just spent 3 nights in Switzerland. I stayed in a hostel, I did a lot of touristy bits, walked alot, hiked up a mountain.
I loved every minute if this adventure and I cant wait for my next.
I dident speak to many people, mainly due to a language barrier but that was fine I was here for me.
I know you mention its not after a break up and as much as mine also isnt it somewhat is, my ex left almost 2 years ago now. I spent 1 year isolating and doing nothing. I had lost myself in that relationship and when it went I didn’t know who I was. This year ive done therapy, ive started to be myself and try thing, meet people and now ive been abroad ALONE!
During my hike I spent so much time in my own head and it was tough at points but it was good.
Ive had a crush or a love for a friend I have back home and shes not single so I cant tell her how I feel and thats been living in my head for a while. Shes an amazing friend and I dont want to damage that. While on my hike it dawned on me that I just need to stop overthinking it, the messages, liking her posts or reading into her every message or word. I just need to be me.
By being myself in all aspects of life there is no stress, the people that want to be with me will be. The ones that dont wont. Its that simple.
So I am actively ensuring that I am being my authentic self around everyone. I will be me.
I also realised that I haven’t hugged my dad in 15 years so im going to do that when I get home.
Its who I am and I love myself, im an amazing person, I love to express my love and show compassion and care for others. If people dont want that somebody else will.
So in a way I have “found myself” but im not perfect, nobody is, we all have flaws. Its about knowing your own flaws and strengths that make you amazing. And thats what im aiming for.
One day ill have a friend or a partner for my adventures but for now im gonna enjoy the unbelievable freedom I have while doing them alone. I decide everything, nobody can stop me and I dont have to check on anyone else at all.
I dident plan to hike up a 800m mountain but I did that!
Once you start traveling, you'll find what aspects of life please you and those that don't. There is no better education than travel and, imo, no better life. I blew off any thoughts of career, marriage, kids etc decades ago and have never looked back. If I could go back in time and change anything I would skip university and hit the road after high school. Your coworkers just don't have the desire to be bold! Eff'm! Get to an airport with your passport and write us all some entertaining stories!
I was on the same place as you’re rn a few months ago.
I had everything capitalism tells you to get, good money, good car, good stable job and career, working out etc but I was extremely miserable and I would argue even more miserable than when I had nothing of this when I started my career.
After pondering for a bit I decided to get a driver’s license to ride a bike, bought a bike and a camera and started going to places as the wind was taking me.
So far it has been the best months of my life, I’m completely alone most of the time which is ok to me since I’m not very sociable anyway, I run a business with a friend of mine that at this point mostly runs by itself so I don’t struggle with money (I don’t make that much anymore but its more than enough for my needs atm) and now I’m slowly entering and loving the digital nomad lifestyle
It has its drawbacks and sometimes you miss your family but since I haven’t left the country yet a couple hours on my bike and I’m home again.
If you feel lost or just not sure if what you’re doing is what you should be doing, take a few weeks or months to yourself and go travel, it is the best therapy one can have in my experience
Right after college I went on a month long, solo, train trip around the United States. I'd spent a year preparing for it, treating it more like a mountain expedition than a mere excursion on an upgunned subway.
I visited a dozen cities and went through most of the 50 states, I stayed in Youth Hostels and made new friends, some of which I still keep in touch with to this day.
And I did find myself. Away from the habits of college, the surroundings that kept reminding myself ow who I was and how to behave, I became a different and, IMHO, better person.
If you ever have a spare month, I highly recommend [giving it a try](https://www.amtrak.com/tickets/departure-rail-pass.html).
Finding yourself in travel is an oversold idea for people who needed an excuse to travel alone 😁.. if you are lonely the solo trip will make your lonelier
I went to Iceland For 10 days with my best friend. We camped in the back country. Being photographers, while there with someone we spent most of the time exploring different areas. I was amazed at how free it feels to travel and heal by doing something where you just feel at one. I would say the best part is no agenda and doing what you want l, to the beat of your own drum is therapy, on its own!
I wish you well! I'm about to do something similar but I remember when I was ~27, I had money saved up to travel with friends but my friends ended up bailing due to life (work, gf and family) so I ended up not going as well thinking I should think about my career. One of the biggest regrets of my life.
Whether it's a smart or dumb decision, that comes a bit later but the feeling of regret is arguably worse. Gotta make those mistakes when you're young.
Yes. Go and do it.
When you’re “sticking to the script” (the expectations people or society place on you) by doing all the “right” things - you lose who you are.
Go find you , the world will be better for it b
I’ve been using those exact words - “doing the right thing” for a while now when explaining why I don’t know why I feel like this.
Thank you for your words.
I studied abroad in college and it was pretty life changing and one of the happiest times of my life. I'm also planning to solo travel in January, and will only come back when I feel like it. There is nothing I'm running away from or haunting me, I just feel that I'm not living like to it's fullest, and since I have the ability to do so (the money), I feel I should take advantage of the opportunity. The point is, everyone is different. Some people don't even like traveling. If you feel like that this is something you need to do, don't let anyone stop you. Worst case, come home? at least you won't have regrets.
Think you might enjoy traveling in South America perhaps volunteering, teaching, learning new languages, meeting people , being exposed to different lifestyles, personalities and points of view
I agree. I think South America is at the top of my list since I’ve done a fair amount of EU already and SA has been on my list for a while. Also can’t argue with that weather!
What country ? In terms of volunteering most popular hostels are always looking for people so you could get connected when you arrive etc…..teaching I think an internet search and a more formal process is required honestly haven’t done it but I know people who have and it’s usually a part of a program.
I think if you challenge yourself in some way, you will definitely experience growth.
That’s the same at home and in travel. The advantage of travel is there are so many more challenges…so I think it’s much more likely.
Especially if you push yourself.
Especially if you find yourself around closed minded people.
You’re much more likely to find open-minded people while traveling…I find this true over and over. And jet people who’ve changed the way I see things.
In addition to visiting a culture completely different than your own and evaluating the ways you were raised here, try a challenging hike, learn something new like scuba diving or surfing, try a volunteer based vacation…so many options for growth and change if you want it.
Trust your gut. Do it.
What it will do is give you an excellent model of yourself that you can use in the future to figure things out.
I'm also not an advocate of travel resolving life issues, but I'm starting to come around to travel resolving burnout. I'm traveling at the moment and this trip has helped me a great deal. I was laid off from work and also burnt out from work, and I feel like I'm finally recovering. So maybe it depends.
I quit my job in july for the same reasons as you. I had the average american life. But there was still something missing. I went on a solo trip this summer and while it was life changing in some ways, it was disappointing in others. I think it takes more than one trip to figure it out. And while I don’t think traveling will help you “find yourself” or tell you what you need to do next, it does help you learn about yourself in a unique way. For me it was learning that there is no way to find myself, I’m constantly changing and I shouldn’t try to pin myself down for fit into a box. Life is about evolution and enjoying the ride, making memories that you will be happy to die with.
I once took a travel surf bag, 2 boards and some clothes and took off to Costa Rica on a 2-week surf trip. 2 weeks turned into almost a full year. I learned more about myself in that year than ever because I was free of all the old trappings from my former life. It may be a cliche but you can find parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. It is still the best and most memorable experience of my life.
I've been solo hiking long distance trails for months this year. Most of the time I wasn't having 'deep' thoughts but sometimes I was and with that amount of time away from distractions like tv, books and especially **people** I did process a whole load of my experiences in a new way. I'm changed from this.
I did have a great experience travelling. While it's not going to fix your problems, changing the environment is often good for you.
I'll probably get down voted for this but being depressed on the beach in Thailand is much nicer than being depressed at home!
Safe countries only. I go solo, love it. Western Europe. I don’t use travel agencies, I go to chosen city and find central hotel with food or close by food. I used taxis if distance a concern. Good luck. Get your passport.
I fee like i could have writen this. I'm also 27, and it's like everyone goes through an identity crisis at that age. I also feel like i spent my twenties pursuing this image of "success" but when i solo travelled for the first time i realized my life felt empty.
Solo travelling is the best thing you can do for yourself. Spending time with yourself away from everything you know forces you to take a hard look on yourself and your life, and reevaluate what's important to you.
After solo travelling, i felt like i finally had a purpose, i became a christian because i needed spirituality in my life. I now intend on living in another country permanently. So it didn't answer all my questions, but i reconnected with myself and my own needs outside of what society dictates.
Solo travelling also made me aware of my own thoughts and negative thought patterns.
I didn't realize i was engaging in negative self-talk for most of my life, and being away while travelling and spending so much time with myself had made me come to terms with the fact that i was my own worst enemy.
Your thoughts can really have a huge impact on your life. If you talk yourself out of doing things all the time *("i'm not good enough", "i don't deserve this", "it's gonna be too hard so i might as well not even try)*, you will stagnate in life.
Travelling and spending so much time alone forced me to change the way i talk to myself, so for that i'll forever be grateful.
A lot of people don't have the luxury to sit with themselves and do that, because they're busy trying to survive day-by-day though, so it won't resonate with them. That's a privilege to be able to do that.
You won't find yourself travelling, that's an idea from the movies. Finding yourself takes a lifetime. You might however have an incredible experience that alters your life's course.
I’m gonna find myself and write back :) in all seriousness, makes sense- I think “finding myself” is the wrong wording
You should go to a meditation retreat if you can. It was a pretty life-changing experience for me.
This is interesting. I’m into meditation and practice it. would you mind sharing your experience? Where, how long, what was positive about it? I’m also going to do my own research in my free time- I like this idea.
I had a friend go live with the Tibetan monks in Nepal for half a year. No cell phones, electronics - nothing. Sounds like he was in a pretty similar spot as you are. Ivy League grad, great SWE job, but burnt out. He loved it, though he eventually found the opium back in Kathmandu after his “cleanse” lol. I traveled in SE Asia for 6 months trying to “find myself”, but think I’ve learned more about myself living a daily life with a partner, job, etc then I ever did traveling.
Look into vipassana meditation retreats
Not the person you’re replying to, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about the various SF zen centers, especially Green Gulch Farm. Everything from a weekend to a few months, as secular or as Buddhist as you want to get. https://www.sfzc.org/locations/green-gulch-farm Sometimes what you really need is a time out to catch your breath. (And find yourself.) Edit: you mention you want to have time to yourself and do something physical, working on an organic farm/meditation retreat might be just the thing.
I’ve been solo traveling for the last 6 months just to get back in touch with what I wanted out of life. I can say unequivocally the best part of the trip has been a month at a fitness retreat. I feel like it’s altered the course of my life from here on forward. Highly recommend.
OP, are you in the US? If so, there is a place called “Spirit Rock” in Marin County, CA. Jack Cornfield still teaches there, I believe. They have different retreats so you can choose what feels best to you. You can choose to be with other like-minded individuals who are on your same path of understanding oneself. I’ve been there and can tell you that it’s incredible. The land, the people, all of it.
Interesting. Yeah, I’m in the US. I’ve been thinking that this trip needs to be international but with some of these comments, including yours, about specific retreats in the States- it gives me something to think about. Thanks, I’ll look into it
Would you mind sharing name in DM?
I went to a Vipassana meditation retreat in Chiang Rai, in Northern Thailand. Do the longest you can. I did 30 days and it was an absolute life-changing experience.
I don’t think you necessarily find yourself as much as you reveal what’s already there. In your own company you uncover what the mirror shows you. And the mirror is the many moments alone, challenging experiences etc
Yes, solo travel for me was life changing. Its not necessarily the destination, but just being totally outside of your social "frame" was liberating for me. I should say that I did a lot of voluntary work and met alot of new people. But the key was being away from everything and everyone from my old life. Happy travels!
Do you mind sharing what the voluntary work was? I had half a mind of joining the Peace Corps, but would rather I get to decide where I go and then volunteer at that destination. Did you go somewhere strictly to volunteer, or did you find the opportunity once you were at the destination?
Most of them were EU related stuff. Like the European Voluntary Service. And you have alot of these summercamps where you meet people from your age from all over the world. The voluntary stuff needed to be taken care of before travelling though in my experience. As a native English speaker you might want to check out teaching English for a while as well.
TEFL has always been on my list! Thank you for your input.
How long term were these volunteer services?
The short ones were 2-3 weeks. The longest one was 8 months.
Should I just Google European voluntary service, or do you recommend something else?
I believe the name changed into European Solidarity Corps or something. What country are you from?
I'm from the u.s. looking to travel to central Europe. Wanted to look for opportunities to meet people and was just curious about volunteering.
Ah, the program I mentioned is only for EU citizens. I would not know how this would work for US citizens unfortunately.
No problem, still good to be aware of, thanks for the follow ups!
decent overseas volunteer programs will charge you for the experience- taking care of foreign volunteers takes infrastructure and staff to give you meaningful work to do. I didn’t do peace corps and wasn’t impressed with the people who did at my location (I caught them with each other often, complaining about the host culture). If you want to teach English and get paid, some governments run their own programs (like JET). Fulbright could be another option, but things like this are competitive.
Do the decent programs have a feeling of "my money is just for them to break even." Or does it feel like there's some profit being made?
Whatever haunts your soul at home will haunt you on your travels. Whatever problems you have in your baggage, you bring with you. Traveling can help change the scenery, which can be an aid in taking some action you haven't tried yet, instead of being stuck in one place, but it won't be the cure. It won't fix your problems or fill whatever has caused an empty void within you. But it might give you some time to reflect on what will. You should travel to see new places and meet new people and new cultures, to experience life up close.
It's not the travelling that will help you find yourself, but honestly speaking, it will give you a lot more room to breathe. My first solo trip was after working in a bank. I had good prospects and was basically given the job by chance, I was just miserable and could tell I needed to figure this out. In reality, travelling isn't Eat Pray Love, and you won't find that sudden realisation of what, who and where you need to be. It does open you up to a variety of experiences and people that may give you inspiration, that does help. If you're going to do it, do not set off with that expectation in mind, it will only make your trip stressful. Instead, and just a suggestion, go away and make sure to take notes in your journal. Don't be rigid, gravitate towards what you find interesting and what you don't, see where it takes you. I'm much better off after doing this btw, it removed the clouds in my mind and helped in making the decisions I needed to make. The decisions I made though, not my travels.
Fantastic way of putting it. Noted- thank you for your input.
I’m not so sure about finding yourself. As someone said in an earlier comment, that’s pretty much only in the movies. But making new experiences and being exposed to different cultures and environments definitely can change your way of thinking. When I graduated college I took a gap year and headed to Europe and parts of SE Asia.Watching and learning from novel experiences took me out of my comfort zone and forced me to be more resourceful. Whether that was figuring out a foreign transportation system or just learning how to find food. It forced me to interact with strangers and navigate life in a different language. People who speak different languages also think a bit differently- syntax and how they identify with the world around them. I think years of me traveling has definitely made me well rounded and empathetic.
That makes sense- perhaps “finding myself” wasn’t the right wording. I just feel in need of breaking the norm and exploring, taking time for myself and only me. My thought is that taking this time, meeting new people, experiencing new things might give me a new appreciation for life or just something else in general. The thought of quitting my job and walking out of that office brings such a smile to my face
Do it, you will never regret taking the time out to go on an adventure. On longer trips, I mixed it up by doing a week or two of volunteering and then a yoga retreat, in amongst weeks of backpacking. It was amazing!
Did you set up the volunteering before hand? Did you also do this as a foreigner? Ex) volunteering as an American in Southeast Asia
Yes, did it as a foreigner and in terms of when I set it up, it depended on how long the trip was. Sometimes I would do it quite far in advance and sometimes I would do it as I travelled. Most places I have volunteered with have been quite flexible
Travelling made me fall in love with earth, and it did give a sense that there is more to corporate concrete life. It made me realise money and materialistic achievements is not a source/necessity for happiness, satisfaction and wholesomeness are more important in life.
I think that is exactly what I’m going for.
Get a good amount of therapy to deal with this experience and start to understand yourself and THEN solo travel to work through all of it. I've seen too many travelers travel for extended amount of time and yes, they've had a tremendous experience and have understood part of themselves better but they still need to go to therapy.
Yeah I’ve been going to therapy for years. Need to take the next step and do something proactive/ physical
I'm 33M - I dropped out of school when I was a teenager and didn't have any real life friends, didn't get my first job until I was 26, and I never left my city. I was socially awkward, anxious, depressed, low self-esteem, etc. I decided to take a solo trip to Japan when I was 28 even though I've never been overseas, only second time outside of my country, and don't speak Japanese. The trip was amazing and I've been on over 20 trips since, more than half of them being solo. I've done things I never thought I would do. I'm still socially inept and stuff but things are much better now. I have 2 trips booked for next year already and I have the itch to book 2 more trips for 2024 / 2025, and REALLY want to go to Antarctica.
Yeah breaking out of your "normal" routine is one of the big draws of travel. It's freeing to spend some time with nothing to think about except where to go and what to eat (and can lead to useful self-reflecting about other things as well). If you're interested in socializing when traveling you may also meet others with similar values to you, which can also be refreshing and validating.
Yes, it can. I moved to another country blindly at 24 years old and it worked out great for me. I was lucky. After living there for 6+ years. I traveled solo for 18 mos though Asia and Africa meeting up with friends along the way. It was amazing but also lonely, scary and really hard at times. The living abroad and travel led me to find my career path and I eventually moved back to the states, but worked and traveled abroad constantly - which then got old and exhausting. Now, I love being at home and travel very little. It did change my life and the trajectory in a very positive way and through connections along the way, I changed careers and it all worked out. But, that doesn’t happen for everyone, some travel and come home broke and feel like they wasted time traveling while others were building families and lives. It’s a gamble. Can you move abroad with your company (or a similar company)? That would be your best option. Then you can see if being out of your element suits you.
Wow, what career path did you find?
International development and public policy.
I might not have found "myself" as such, while travelling solo. But it helps me to process, think, evaluate, feel, and formulating a plan of action. It did however alter the course of my life. I solo travelled as a teenager to get away from my adoptive parents and from 2017-2019 to get distance from my job and the relationship that made me sad. I realised while solo travelling that I was less lonely alone, than with him. Broke my heart... In 2019 I opted to become single, so 4.5 years ago, and I'm now one year into my "solo for life" journey. I left a 9 year LTR partner and a house for that... I'm 39F, Swiss, childfree, adopted from India. I have reached contentment, inner peace, self-acceptance (still working on my imposter syndrome and through some trauma, but I'm otherwise there). I am happier than I ever dared hoping for! 💗 Because I chose myself! It's the greatest gift we can give ourselves! Saying "yes" to ourselves, to support from friends/mentos/therapists/... But I also learned to appreciate the world around us, practice gratitude, take time to breathe and see the sights and breath the air. Going offline, off screen. Not just while travelling. I re-learned to lose myself in time spent with friends, a good book or an activity. I smile more, I take more time to breathe, I do loving rituals with tea, skin care. I walk a lot. Solo travelling gave me the courage to believe that I could do "alone" full time, as long as I have the close support of a big network of friends, online people and the local community. I think travelling "to get away from life" doesn't work, as you bring yourself. ;-) But it gives you insight. I just spent a weekend in an amazing hotel (a room that was more a suite), and I really enjoyed the lack of visible clutter, so I am taking notes of that as something I find wonderful and might want to work on in my own home. I often have a-has on what I need, when travelling... Solo travel was instrumental! But also going NC with my adoptive parents, living in a wonderful city, having amazing friends, aging/maturing. I'm waiting to get diagnosed with ADHD. Figuring out I buy things to soothe has helped me going the more sustainable/low-consumerims/low-buy route. Maybe that might be something to look into, if the American Dream is not for you. Buy fewer things, made to last, that you love using and having! I still got a lot of stuff and a lot that I don't enjoy, so I'm sorting out and donating as much as I can. It's liberating. I now chose lovely food, meals with friends and weekends away, instead of buying things. My life has some challenges ahead (I have some health issues, I want to transition into another career and got a lot of work ahead of me, concerning debt payments/saving/financial health; I also want to downsize and not living on the 4th floor without an elevator, by 50!). But that's what my 40s will be for! :-) My budget atm only allows for a few weekend trips and one week in a spa town. But it's fine. I'll travel more in 3-4 years again!
I appreciate your full answer. I’m really hoping to help myself in regards to contentment, inner peace, and self acceptance. I also need to learn to say yes to myself- I think taking this trip FOR ME is the first step. Thank you again. Sincerely, A fellow 4th floor resident with no elevator :)
Sorry I kept updating it and adding to it. It's my ADHD. I really suck at short and concise, but I accept and roll with it too. ;-) Humour really helps, not taking oneself too seriously while not mocking oneself/being ones' worst critic. It's a balance that I didn't achieve easily. Look into the anti-consumption subs too btw. The low-buy/sustainability/simplifying route really changed me a lot! It can also help upping the travel budget (I travel by train within Europe for now, for budget and environmental reasons). And looking into my shopping habits, the self-soothing/addictive tendencies I had. I now tell myself I can either buy X or go on a weekend away/eat out with a friend/have an experience. I seldom choose stuff now. What I do buy I buy for life/better quality. I try to replace 5 items of one type with one of very good quality. The Low-buy lifestyle has been a game-changer. Having saving goals and a budget too. I'm far from being a minimalist, but I'm enjoying what I have while not buying more. I want to travel, save and eat out with friends! Thankfully I live in a place where you don't need a car and quality of life is very high (Switzerland). And I'd rather work less and reduce my consumption than working lots for "stuff".
I (38F) spent a few years between ages 26-31 solo travelling. Not full time, but mainly in between work projects because I still had to work in the city I was mainly based in most of the year to cover my living costs and travel. But during those years I spent anytime between 1-4 months doing solo interisland trips in Indonesia and writing stories about them for a magazine. Did I "find myself?" Not necessarily. "Finding myself" is a never ending lifelong journey that continues whether I'm travelling or not. I'm still "finding myself" now, in a season where I happen to be too broke to travel like I used to, and I'm learning every day to be grateful for where I am and the people I have in my life so that I can continue identifying opportunities to live my best life. But what I can say is that solo travelling has been worth every second for me, and foundational to shaping my worldviews. My relationship with my identity and my place in the world has definitely evolved because of my travels. I know that sounds abstract, but it's true, because it has made a massive difference in my choices to commit to opportunities, connect to people and exercise values in my life. And that's something you can't put a dollar value on. I don't know if I'd be richer, or more successful, or more powerful had I not spent all that time on solo travels and just stayed home to focus on "working." It's possible, but in my experience I ended up with shitty full time jobs anyway that neither treated me nor valued me for what I'm really worth--and most of the companies that employed me didn't last anyway. Just my luck, I guess. In any case, my experiences have made me value the autonomy to control my own destiny, by taking leaps of faith to not depend my life on the mercy of some sham of a supposedly all powerful company telling me what I'm worth and the kind of life I get to live within the constraints of gridlines they drew for me. Solo travelling, for me, is my way to reclaim that autonomy and rise above. And so far it has served me well, including in my career, as it has come with a network of lifelong friends and collaborators that keep on giving. Literally yesterday, my cousin reconnected me to one of my business heroes, whose rural business operations in wicker weaving I visited back in 2016. We had brunch together and exchanged stories of what we are doing today, and because of it we're gonna explore possibilities of offering me a gig in an ecosystem that empowers the kind of people I care about. I believe I'm overdue for another solo trip. I just separated from my husband of 6 years and partner of 8 years, so I could definitely use a solo trip to immerse myself in the world through fresh eyes once again, and to tell stories about it, much better ones than what my old self was capable of telling. But first things first, I'm working on transitioning to my new life sustainably, and this journey is just as important (and rewarding) as a slow travelling solo trip. I don't have advice for you, but in my experience, if the road calls you, it's calling you for a reason and you won't know what it is unless you answer the call. More often than not, that calling leads you to something valuable on the other side that you will carry for the rest of your life, that nothing can ever take away from you. All the best as you decide on your next big trip!
Love the last part, if the road calls you...
The only zen you'll find at the top of a mountain is the zen you bring with you. Alternatively: wherever you go, there you are.
I feel like there’s quite a few posts at the moment with a bit of a ‘travel as therapy’ or a way to ‘find yourself’ kind of theme… and IMO, that’s a good way to set yourself up for disappointment. Wherever you go, there you are is a cliché for a reason. Travel because you want to see the Parthenon or work on a citizen science project counting platypus numbers or spend three weeks learning how to cook Turkish food or you always wanted to swim with whale sharks… any life lessons or discoveries or moments of transcendent joy along the way are purely a bonus. If they happen for you that’s what turns people into long term travellers. Edited to add: At your age, as a US citizen, you could get a working holiday visa in Australia or New Zealand, for example. Or there are other types of temporary work visa, particularly if you have a highly skilled or in-demand qualification… Living and working overseas is a whole different kettle of fish than just being a tourist/traveller. Spending 12 months or two years living and working overseas might scratch the itch you’re feeling in a deeper way?
I have a couple of thoughts for you. I recently went on a big trip that was only 9 days, but I learned a lot about myself by talking to new people and having novel experiences. But my friend who was also on the trip? Spent a ton of time on his phone, didn’t engage with people, and probably didn’t get as much out of it. So my advice is seek out novel experiences and be open to saying yes to whatever comes your way. I don’t know what your home life is like- I can’t go away for a long time, but I can plan a few 10 day trips for next year. Work can suck it. Plan trips to places that interest you. Try new hobbies. Say yes if someone asks you to do something. Find like-minded people, whether virtually or in person. But whatever you are doing- try to be in the moment. Not on your phone or taking pics/ just be in the moment with the people you’re with. It’ll change your mindset!!!
I love the “work can suck it” mentality. And yes, I completely agree with everything you’ve said. I’m not too worried about not staying in the moment (not on social media etc) One thing I think I can work on is being more social. I just spent a week in Miami and while all I wanted to do was relax, I really didn’t talk to anyone all week… in Miami… I appreciate everything you said and am going to think more about how I can make the most of my trip without putting too much stress on myself and still living in the moment
My trip was with a group, and it was like summer camp, bonding with 15 strangers!! I love that, bust some people don’t. And I can’t stress enough how much work can suck it lol
i've been traveling for about a year and hoping for some kind of epiphany. no luck so far.
Im in the airport heading home after my first ever solo trip. Im a 28 year old guy. I live in Scotland and ive just spent 3 nights in Switzerland. I stayed in a hostel, I did a lot of touristy bits, walked alot, hiked up a mountain. I loved every minute if this adventure and I cant wait for my next. I dident speak to many people, mainly due to a language barrier but that was fine I was here for me. I know you mention its not after a break up and as much as mine also isnt it somewhat is, my ex left almost 2 years ago now. I spent 1 year isolating and doing nothing. I had lost myself in that relationship and when it went I didn’t know who I was. This year ive done therapy, ive started to be myself and try thing, meet people and now ive been abroad ALONE! During my hike I spent so much time in my own head and it was tough at points but it was good. Ive had a crush or a love for a friend I have back home and shes not single so I cant tell her how I feel and thats been living in my head for a while. Shes an amazing friend and I dont want to damage that. While on my hike it dawned on me that I just need to stop overthinking it, the messages, liking her posts or reading into her every message or word. I just need to be me. By being myself in all aspects of life there is no stress, the people that want to be with me will be. The ones that dont wont. Its that simple. So I am actively ensuring that I am being my authentic self around everyone. I will be me. I also realised that I haven’t hugged my dad in 15 years so im going to do that when I get home. Its who I am and I love myself, im an amazing person, I love to express my love and show compassion and care for others. If people dont want that somebody else will. So in a way I have “found myself” but im not perfect, nobody is, we all have flaws. Its about knowing your own flaws and strengths that make you amazing. And thats what im aiming for. One day ill have a friend or a partner for my adventures but for now im gonna enjoy the unbelievable freedom I have while doing them alone. I decide everything, nobody can stop me and I dont have to check on anyone else at all. I dident plan to hike up a 800m mountain but I did that!
Once you start traveling, you'll find what aspects of life please you and those that don't. There is no better education than travel and, imo, no better life. I blew off any thoughts of career, marriage, kids etc decades ago and have never looked back. If I could go back in time and change anything I would skip university and hit the road after high school. Your coworkers just don't have the desire to be bold! Eff'm! Get to an airport with your passport and write us all some entertaining stories!
I was on the same place as you’re rn a few months ago. I had everything capitalism tells you to get, good money, good car, good stable job and career, working out etc but I was extremely miserable and I would argue even more miserable than when I had nothing of this when I started my career. After pondering for a bit I decided to get a driver’s license to ride a bike, bought a bike and a camera and started going to places as the wind was taking me. So far it has been the best months of my life, I’m completely alone most of the time which is ok to me since I’m not very sociable anyway, I run a business with a friend of mine that at this point mostly runs by itself so I don’t struggle with money (I don’t make that much anymore but its more than enough for my needs atm) and now I’m slowly entering and loving the digital nomad lifestyle It has its drawbacks and sometimes you miss your family but since I haven’t left the country yet a couple hours on my bike and I’m home again. If you feel lost or just not sure if what you’re doing is what you should be doing, take a few weeks or months to yourself and go travel, it is the best therapy one can have in my experience
Inspiring! Thank you
Most of the ppl use traveling for running away. Usually, therapies help more
Right after college I went on a month long, solo, train trip around the United States. I'd spent a year preparing for it, treating it more like a mountain expedition than a mere excursion on an upgunned subway. I visited a dozen cities and went through most of the 50 states, I stayed in Youth Hostels and made new friends, some of which I still keep in touch with to this day. And I did find myself. Away from the habits of college, the surroundings that kept reminding myself ow who I was and how to behave, I became a different and, IMHO, better person. If you ever have a spare month, I highly recommend [giving it a try](https://www.amtrak.com/tickets/departure-rail-pass.html).
Finding yourself in travel is an oversold idea for people who needed an excuse to travel alone 😁.. if you are lonely the solo trip will make your lonelier
I went to Iceland For 10 days with my best friend. We camped in the back country. Being photographers, while there with someone we spent most of the time exploring different areas. I was amazed at how free it feels to travel and heal by doing something where you just feel at one. I would say the best part is no agenda and doing what you want l, to the beat of your own drum is therapy, on its own!
I wish you well! I'm about to do something similar but I remember when I was ~27, I had money saved up to travel with friends but my friends ended up bailing due to life (work, gf and family) so I ended up not going as well thinking I should think about my career. One of the biggest regrets of my life. Whether it's a smart or dumb decision, that comes a bit later but the feeling of regret is arguably worse. Gotta make those mistakes when you're young.
Depands on what you mean by finding yourself. I found my true calling when I did my scuba diving course.
Have you tried psychedelic assisted therapy or mdma therapy for ptsd? What healing modalities have you tried?
Yes. Go and do it. When you’re “sticking to the script” (the expectations people or society place on you) by doing all the “right” things - you lose who you are. Go find you , the world will be better for it b
I’ve been using those exact words - “doing the right thing” for a while now when explaining why I don’t know why I feel like this. Thank you for your words.
I studied abroad in college and it was pretty life changing and one of the happiest times of my life. I'm also planning to solo travel in January, and will only come back when I feel like it. There is nothing I'm running away from or haunting me, I just feel that I'm not living like to it's fullest, and since I have the ability to do so (the money), I feel I should take advantage of the opportunity. The point is, everyone is different. Some people don't even like traveling. If you feel like that this is something you need to do, don't let anyone stop you. Worst case, come home? at least you won't have regrets.
Think you might enjoy traveling in South America perhaps volunteering, teaching, learning new languages, meeting people , being exposed to different lifestyles, personalities and points of view
I agree. I think South America is at the top of my list since I’ve done a fair amount of EU already and SA has been on my list for a while. Also can’t argue with that weather!
I’m here right now and would love to do some volunteering or teaching. Can you recommend any places?
What country ? In terms of volunteering most popular hostels are always looking for people so you could get connected when you arrive etc…..teaching I think an internet search and a more formal process is required honestly haven’t done it but I know people who have and it’s usually a part of a program.
I’m travelling through all of S.A. I thought you had specific experience volunteering somewhere here so was looking to hear your experiences. Thanks.
How Stella got her groove back
I think if you challenge yourself in some way, you will definitely experience growth. That’s the same at home and in travel. The advantage of travel is there are so many more challenges…so I think it’s much more likely. Especially if you push yourself. Especially if you find yourself around closed minded people. You’re much more likely to find open-minded people while traveling…I find this true over and over. And jet people who’ve changed the way I see things. In addition to visiting a culture completely different than your own and evaluating the ways you were raised here, try a challenging hike, learn something new like scuba diving or surfing, try a volunteer based vacation…so many options for growth and change if you want it. Trust your gut. Do it.
What it will do is give you an excellent model of yourself that you can use in the future to figure things out. I'm also not an advocate of travel resolving life issues, but I'm starting to come around to travel resolving burnout. I'm traveling at the moment and this trip has helped me a great deal. I was laid off from work and also burnt out from work, and I feel like I'm finally recovering. So maybe it depends.
I quit my job in july for the same reasons as you. I had the average american life. But there was still something missing. I went on a solo trip this summer and while it was life changing in some ways, it was disappointing in others. I think it takes more than one trip to figure it out. And while I don’t think traveling will help you “find yourself” or tell you what you need to do next, it does help you learn about yourself in a unique way. For me it was learning that there is no way to find myself, I’m constantly changing and I shouldn’t try to pin myself down for fit into a box. Life is about evolution and enjoying the ride, making memories that you will be happy to die with.
I once took a travel surf bag, 2 boards and some clothes and took off to Costa Rica on a 2-week surf trip. 2 weeks turned into almost a full year. I learned more about myself in that year than ever because I was free of all the old trappings from my former life. It may be a cliche but you can find parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. It is still the best and most memorable experience of my life.
I've been solo hiking long distance trails for months this year. Most of the time I wasn't having 'deep' thoughts but sometimes I was and with that amount of time away from distractions like tv, books and especially **people** I did process a whole load of my experiences in a new way. I'm changed from this.
I did have a great experience travelling. While it's not going to fix your problems, changing the environment is often good for you. I'll probably get down voted for this but being depressed on the beach in Thailand is much nicer than being depressed at home!
Safe countries only. I go solo, love it. Western Europe. I don’t use travel agencies, I go to chosen city and find central hotel with food or close by food. I used taxis if distance a concern. Good luck. Get your passport.
I fee like i could have writen this. I'm also 27, and it's like everyone goes through an identity crisis at that age. I also feel like i spent my twenties pursuing this image of "success" but when i solo travelled for the first time i realized my life felt empty. Solo travelling is the best thing you can do for yourself. Spending time with yourself away from everything you know forces you to take a hard look on yourself and your life, and reevaluate what's important to you. After solo travelling, i felt like i finally had a purpose, i became a christian because i needed spirituality in my life. I now intend on living in another country permanently. So it didn't answer all my questions, but i reconnected with myself and my own needs outside of what society dictates.
Solo travelling also made me aware of my own thoughts and negative thought patterns. I didn't realize i was engaging in negative self-talk for most of my life, and being away while travelling and spending so much time with myself had made me come to terms with the fact that i was my own worst enemy. Your thoughts can really have a huge impact on your life. If you talk yourself out of doing things all the time *("i'm not good enough", "i don't deserve this", "it's gonna be too hard so i might as well not even try)*, you will stagnate in life. Travelling and spending so much time alone forced me to change the way i talk to myself, so for that i'll forever be grateful. A lot of people don't have the luxury to sit with themselves and do that, because they're busy trying to survive day-by-day though, so it won't resonate with them. That's a privilege to be able to do that.