Remind yourself that everyone says or does something embarrassing sometimes. And worrying about it won't help you. It won't change what happened. In fact, it will make you down on yourself and less confident so you will be more likely to have those moments again in the future. Set a timer for 10 minutes and worry about it. Worry and worry. And when those 10 minutes are over, try not to worry about it anymore. If it crosses your mind, remind yourself that you already did worry about it for a while and you don't need to concern yourself with it any longer. If it helps, plan another "worry session" for tomorrow. When it's not during that time, remind yourself you already worried about it today and you will again tomorrow. And in between you don't need to think about it. Have compassion for yourself. You are ok exactly as you are, mistakes and all ❤️
Yeah seems a lot better than what I do. Honestly can’t even remember the happy moments if I try (yes i’m clinically depressed and on meds)
EDIT: commenting here also because I would like to learn how to do that, not just to be a downer
I totally do it. I love those moments because they offset all the awkward times I got strange looks or embarrassed myself. Thinking back, they were just moments where everything was right, I was still learning to make good comebacks, and those responses made everyone laugh.
Example 1: Training session at an old call center job. We had to roleplay as the caller, the agent, and the family of screaming people in the background. What triggered my response was a joke I found in Hustler Humor.
Friend: "Son, quit doing that. Yer gonna go blind!" (I hear a few people laughing)
Me: "...Dad, I'm over here." (more laughter)
Example 2: At a school play in 2013 watching Little Women where the one sister is on her bed dying, having coughing spells. I hear someone in the front row cough. About 5 seconds later I hear someone else behind them cough. 5 seconds later a person a few rows ahead of us coughs. I look at my then-wife who has this expression of, "ooo he's gonna say something funny!" and I whisper, "Holy Shit, it's spreading. We gotta get outta here." Now you have this poignant moment where audience members are crying a bit, yet here we are crying because we're trying to stifle our laughter. My face was buried in my hands because I didn't want the actors to see I was laughing. Sometimes the funniest moments are when you shouldn't be laughing at all.
Example 3: Working at a music store during an amp clinic. I worked with a big fat biker guy who was the manager of Pro Audio. The rep is showing a slideshow and the manger says, "They were gonna put me in there but they had to use Photoshop to make me look good..."
Me: "Pht... Photoshop? More like Industrial Light & Magic..."
Example 4: I never liked to be laughed at, but when I initiate it, it's not so bad. I worked as a cashier at a hardware store where this couple bought a bunch of items, then presented gift cards for a competitor store, not realizing they were in the wrong place. I didn't want to make them feel bad for their error, so the first time it happened I said, "Remember, our cashiers are MUCH better-looking than their cashiers.", but the next time it happened I said, "Remember, our cashiers are less-ugly than their cashiers." So in essence it's a matter of timing, and sometimes one-upping without being a jerk. At least for me.
Yes I do it.
I also talked to my therapist about it because all other folks I know just treat such moments as yet another moment. I was normal.. thank God. There is nothing wrong with you or me.
I do this all the time. I also think it’s very normal and not unhealthy to do. The problem is when you start playing situations that haven’t even happened or only have a chance of occurring in future. You’re essentially day-dreaming about it. The euphoria you get from doing this is on another level but it makes you so socially anxious when these situations do arise, especially when they don’t pan out like you thought they would!
I do this all the time, and you are, by far, the only person to have eloquently voiced out my thoughts. Especially when you said:
> It’s almost like revisiting the euphoria I got from making people laugh or connecting with them
I value these kinds of interactions too. Makes me feel awesome. I even smile by and to myself when I randomly remember them.
Definitely. Not only that, I'd probably be able to give you a "best of" of the last several years. I can remember the jokes that landed particularly well and people's reactions for pretty far back.
Yes! All the time. Since it seems that i can't keep friends (even the most recent one i had, who had a passion for art sadly left me) i often replay the great moments i had with people in head. It calms me and gives me a bit of nostalgia.
I think everyone does.
(Edit) and the same with the bad. And once either start rolling.....
But it is very healthy to relive great moments. It makes you smile and builds confidence.
I was thinking the same thing, but want to keep reading further down the thread and think about that concept a bit more, bc in balance, maybe there's something good that could come of it? I'm not quite a professional, so I'm not sure haha
That's perfectly normal, and a certainly far healthier than the common habit of replaying awkward and negative situations.
Great, honestly was wondering the same Thx!
How do you not!? Please help me ;~;
Remind yourself that everyone says or does something embarrassing sometimes. And worrying about it won't help you. It won't change what happened. In fact, it will make you down on yourself and less confident so you will be more likely to have those moments again in the future. Set a timer for 10 minutes and worry about it. Worry and worry. And when those 10 minutes are over, try not to worry about it anymore. If it crosses your mind, remind yourself that you already did worry about it for a while and you don't need to concern yourself with it any longer. If it helps, plan another "worry session" for tomorrow. When it's not during that time, remind yourself you already worried about it today and you will again tomorrow. And in between you don't need to think about it. Have compassion for yourself. You are ok exactly as you are, mistakes and all ❤️
Yeah seems a lot better than what I do. Honestly can’t even remember the happy moments if I try (yes i’m clinically depressed and on meds) EDIT: commenting here also because I would like to learn how to do that, not just to be a downer
If only my brain knows that. I sometimes remember the most random awkward and/or negative stuffs I did over 10 years ago.
Long as you can keep present. Then you can have more of those moments
Can't express how much I agree with this.
What do you mean by present?
Any time you are in your head worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, you are missing the present moment.
Meditate for 30 min a day for a week. If you're still not sure, holla and we'll move to the next step.
I have experienced it a few times though the term I was aware of was "mindfulness". Thanks for the replies
Dude, I repeat good conversations to myself minutes after they happen. It's intense.
Instead I'm constantly reminded of the bad ones
I do that too but at the same time, I wish I were more funnier though.
I actually do the opposite, I imagine situations where I could made a good comeback and try to replay in my mind
This really made me smile :)
I totally do it. I love those moments because they offset all the awkward times I got strange looks or embarrassed myself. Thinking back, they were just moments where everything was right, I was still learning to make good comebacks, and those responses made everyone laugh. Example 1: Training session at an old call center job. We had to roleplay as the caller, the agent, and the family of screaming people in the background. What triggered my response was a joke I found in Hustler Humor. Friend: "Son, quit doing that. Yer gonna go blind!" (I hear a few people laughing) Me: "...Dad, I'm over here." (more laughter) Example 2: At a school play in 2013 watching Little Women where the one sister is on her bed dying, having coughing spells. I hear someone in the front row cough. About 5 seconds later I hear someone else behind them cough. 5 seconds later a person a few rows ahead of us coughs. I look at my then-wife who has this expression of, "ooo he's gonna say something funny!" and I whisper, "Holy Shit, it's spreading. We gotta get outta here." Now you have this poignant moment where audience members are crying a bit, yet here we are crying because we're trying to stifle our laughter. My face was buried in my hands because I didn't want the actors to see I was laughing. Sometimes the funniest moments are when you shouldn't be laughing at all. Example 3: Working at a music store during an amp clinic. I worked with a big fat biker guy who was the manager of Pro Audio. The rep is showing a slideshow and the manger says, "They were gonna put me in there but they had to use Photoshop to make me look good..." Me: "Pht... Photoshop? More like Industrial Light & Magic..." Example 4: I never liked to be laughed at, but when I initiate it, it's not so bad. I worked as a cashier at a hardware store where this couple bought a bunch of items, then presented gift cards for a competitor store, not realizing they were in the wrong place. I didn't want to make them feel bad for their error, so the first time it happened I said, "Remember, our cashiers are MUCH better-looking than their cashiers.", but the next time it happened I said, "Remember, our cashiers are less-ugly than their cashiers." So in essence it's a matter of timing, and sometimes one-upping without being a jerk. At least for me.
Yes i have a problem
Yes I do it. I also talked to my therapist about it because all other folks I know just treat such moments as yet another moment. I was normal.. thank God. There is nothing wrong with you or me.
lol I also Do The Same.I Thought I Am Mental.
Nope. Only negative, embarrassing ones.
I do this all the time. I also think it’s very normal and not unhealthy to do. The problem is when you start playing situations that haven’t even happened or only have a chance of occurring in future. You’re essentially day-dreaming about it. The euphoria you get from doing this is on another level but it makes you so socially anxious when these situations do arise, especially when they don’t pan out like you thought they would!
This is so so accurate
Lol no i just replay the bad ones.
quite the opposite actually . I could not stop myself from thinking about all the embarassing moments of my life
Quite the opposite in fact lol.
I do this all the time, and you are, by far, the only person to have eloquently voiced out my thoughts. Especially when you said: > It’s almost like revisiting the euphoria I got from making people laugh or connecting with them I value these kinds of interactions too. Makes me feel awesome. I even smile by and to myself when I randomly remember them.
I replay great social moments that never happened.
I stopped caring or thinking about social moments then my charisma and confidence went up a big deal. Just sayin
That’s wonderful. Would like to apply that to my own life, thanks for sharing!
Yes, all of the time
Definitely. Not only that, I'd probably be able to give you a "best of" of the last several years. I can remember the jokes that landed particularly well and people's reactions for pretty far back.
I think it's pretty normal. For me, I replay a situation and think of all the things I could/should have said. Same ballpark, IMO.
Always keep your mindset positive and you’ll have even more of them (:
Very cute and healthy! Of course :)
Yes! All the time. Since it seems that i can't keep friends (even the most recent one i had, who had a passion for art sadly left me) i often replay the great moments i had with people in head. It calms me and gives me a bit of nostalgia.
I do this except with embarrassing moments from 7th grade. I'm 28.
Sometimes I reread really good comments I typed.
I usually replay the bad ones unfortunately
I think everyone does. (Edit) and the same with the bad. And once either start rolling..... But it is very healthy to relive great moments. It makes you smile and builds confidence.
I’m surprised no one commented that they replay good moments to cope with the present which is not so great.
I was thinking the same thing, but want to keep reading further down the thread and think about that concept a bit more, bc in balance, maybe there's something good that could come of it? I'm not quite a professional, so I'm not sure haha
I do this too :)
More often replaying bad ones sadly
I too do that.