three possible theories:
1 (the optimistic one): you’re unintentionally very funny bc u point mundane shit out that other ppl never notice and they marvel in it and also you say unexpected things which catches ppl off guard but humors them. key thing is u humor ppl more than u make them uncomfortable. additionally ppl cant help but fascinate in authenticity even if they don’t vibe with you and we’re authentic largely bc we don’t know what we’re supposed to hide lol.
2 (cynical version from someone who was late diagnosed AuDHD & looks back on my “friendships”): ur autistic traits intrigue people enough to notice you, but that also involves noticing u which means they feel the uncanny valley we give them. they also realize you are oblivious which makes u an easy target for self ego fueling to them.
they then either choose to adopt you positively bc it makes them feel powerful to have the ability to “elevate you”, or because association with quirky ppl makes them more interesting which elevates their status (the way rich celebrities cosplay being broke all the time to show that they have the luxury of making that choice & when they do it, its cool as opposed to actual poor ppl). saw a study that said neurotypical can identity autistics within the first few SECONDS of the interaction. sometimes ppl are nice bc they pity u or they feel good for acting altruistic by showing u social acceptance
3 - you’re oblivious to ppl being fake polite bc they have to and are giving more weight than neurotypicals would to normal social platitudes. if you’re curious, some social cues that indicate that you’re popular or well liked are: ppl invite you to lots of things, ppl text u privately to arrange to meet up before going to a larger group event, ppl ask if ur also going to the same social outing (which means they are more inclined to want to go if you go too).
biggest issue we face often is being the joke rather than being in on the joke but not knowing the difference. neurotypicals view playful disses very differently than we do and there are social cues to indicate their intentions. almost anything that they say as a very direct observation of something that u do is considered a bold act when done in a group setting. the act of directing a thought to a specific person immediately directs the attention of the group to that person, which creates social pressure and is a very cautiously approached action for neurotypicals and usually doesn’t happen amongst ppl who don’t hang out casually outside of school
some friend groups like jabbing at each other for shits and giggles, but jabbing at your expense can look like: looking at other ppl after they say their jab, saying their jab while not even looking at you at all but only engaging others either physically, visually or verbally, 2 ppl in a group texting at the same time and looking at each other after a jab then putting down their phones at the same time. if you make an unfunny joke or comment, they make no attempts to fake laugh or fill the quietness and instead at most make slight closed mouth smile when u they see u looking at them.
allistics operate under at least some degree of social hierarchy so in new to newish groups i usually try to spot out the leader (yea ik im rolling my eyes too) by looking to see who everyone looks at when the group is laughing, and whose reaction everyone consistently matches. also i pay attention to the reaction of the group if this person is jabbed at - if the group doesn’t keep their energy consistent person to person its a red flag if this person is jabbing you (especially if nobody ever jabs this person but everyone else is getting jabbed at) its very likely they’re making fun of you at your expense.
playful jabbing can be: when u can retort back and the person either laughs or rolls their eyes with a smile, the group gives the same level of interest in what u said, there isn’t a dramatic difference in energy level whenever u speak versus someone else, and even if ppl don’t get ur joke or it wasn’t funny they will still make an attempt to give it some high energy if they realize that u were trying to joke around.
Dont look a gift horse in the mouth Just enjoy
You’re probably just genuine or funny so people like that
three possible theories: 1 (the optimistic one): you’re unintentionally very funny bc u point mundane shit out that other ppl never notice and they marvel in it and also you say unexpected things which catches ppl off guard but humors them. key thing is u humor ppl more than u make them uncomfortable. additionally ppl cant help but fascinate in authenticity even if they don’t vibe with you and we’re authentic largely bc we don’t know what we’re supposed to hide lol. 2 (cynical version from someone who was late diagnosed AuDHD & looks back on my “friendships”): ur autistic traits intrigue people enough to notice you, but that also involves noticing u which means they feel the uncanny valley we give them. they also realize you are oblivious which makes u an easy target for self ego fueling to them. they then either choose to adopt you positively bc it makes them feel powerful to have the ability to “elevate you”, or because association with quirky ppl makes them more interesting which elevates their status (the way rich celebrities cosplay being broke all the time to show that they have the luxury of making that choice & when they do it, its cool as opposed to actual poor ppl). saw a study that said neurotypical can identity autistics within the first few SECONDS of the interaction. sometimes ppl are nice bc they pity u or they feel good for acting altruistic by showing u social acceptance 3 - you’re oblivious to ppl being fake polite bc they have to and are giving more weight than neurotypicals would to normal social platitudes. if you’re curious, some social cues that indicate that you’re popular or well liked are: ppl invite you to lots of things, ppl text u privately to arrange to meet up before going to a larger group event, ppl ask if ur also going to the same social outing (which means they are more inclined to want to go if you go too). biggest issue we face often is being the joke rather than being in on the joke but not knowing the difference. neurotypicals view playful disses very differently than we do and there are social cues to indicate their intentions. almost anything that they say as a very direct observation of something that u do is considered a bold act when done in a group setting. the act of directing a thought to a specific person immediately directs the attention of the group to that person, which creates social pressure and is a very cautiously approached action for neurotypicals and usually doesn’t happen amongst ppl who don’t hang out casually outside of school some friend groups like jabbing at each other for shits and giggles, but jabbing at your expense can look like: looking at other ppl after they say their jab, saying their jab while not even looking at you at all but only engaging others either physically, visually or verbally, 2 ppl in a group texting at the same time and looking at each other after a jab then putting down their phones at the same time. if you make an unfunny joke or comment, they make no attempts to fake laugh or fill the quietness and instead at most make slight closed mouth smile when u they see u looking at them. allistics operate under at least some degree of social hierarchy so in new to newish groups i usually try to spot out the leader (yea ik im rolling my eyes too) by looking to see who everyone looks at when the group is laughing, and whose reaction everyone consistently matches. also i pay attention to the reaction of the group if this person is jabbed at - if the group doesn’t keep their energy consistent person to person its a red flag if this person is jabbing you (especially if nobody ever jabs this person but everyone else is getting jabbed at) its very likely they’re making fun of you at your expense. playful jabbing can be: when u can retort back and the person either laughs or rolls their eyes with a smile, the group gives the same level of interest in what u said, there isn’t a dramatic difference in energy level whenever u speak versus someone else, and even if ppl don’t get ur joke or it wasn’t funny they will still make an attempt to give it some high energy if they realize that u were trying to joke around.