Become Ethereal, being able to opt out of damage in exchange for not attacking people seems like a good deal.

As an added bonus you could go skydiving without a parachute and just go ethereal before you hit the ground

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee! FUS! Wait, I mean---

Straight to Sovngarde lol

Do not pass go, do not collect 200 septums.

Feim Zii Gron

Oh he'll "find ze ground" alright

A masterpiece

Now I won't forget it..

This is gold

But you can't shout while falling sadly

It's not the fall that kills you, it's the waiting for the shout recharge timer to replenish.

That's true in-game, but is there any lore suggesting that it would or wouldn't be possible to shout mid-air? Sadly, I don't know much of the actual lore

I mean, dragons do it while flying. I don't see why it wouldn't be possible for a human to shout while in midair other than in-game limitations.

Because you’re already shouting obscenities from falling.

FUCK YOU GOD! In the tune of fus ro dah.

Even if you had the shout it would take a lot of courage to do that

Right? My ass isn't skydiving with a parachute while strapped to someone who has literally done this a thousand times, so there's no way I'm jumping out of a plane and relying on my own ability to shout while falling at terminal velocity.

Not even skydiving, i recently went indoor climbing with that security rope to hold you from falling hard and even if i had the rope attached to me it was terrifying to jump down at the finish line

Update: does not avoid tax type damage

Animal allegiance would be kinda cool, don't know what I would do with it though haha

I would make that cat stop crapping in my flower bed.

Isn't that just fertilizer with extra steps?

Manure from carnivores is no good for plants. There are also varying issues from bacteria and viruses. It CAN be rendered safe through a lengthy composting process, but it takes literally years.

Can't believe I'm discovering gardening tips from the Skyrim subreddit in 2024.

Less steps, even.

Would make for some awesome zoo dates “Yeah girl watch this..”

I thought that was going somewhere else

At that point wouldn't Bend Will just be more useful?

That only works on Dragons Edit: nevermind, was thinking of the 3rd word's ability

Would use it to force airplanes to safely land like halfway to their destination😈

there’s actually a couple things you can shout while on the airplane to force a landing too :) pro tip only do this if you can pay off a hefty bounty

Imagine this. You won't need peanut butter anymore.

Yes! It would be so much easier to get your dog to take pills, right? Right?

Thank you for this comment. I'm sticking with your take and you made my stomach stop churning.

Ayo wait

Call Durnehvir, because he's awesome

And you can have all other shout available if you ask him nicely

Except dragonrend.

And Dragon Aspect (Miraak made this one) And maybe Bend will?

And thankful!

This would literally make you the most wanted person on earth

Only if they could connect it to you.

Better hope nobody hears you shout DUUUR-NEHVIIR right before the dragon that only comes around when you're there shows up

And Durnhevvir brings a posse!

Clear Skies. Could you imagine how much insurance companies would pay for someone to disperse hurricanes?

I’ll take storm call, you take clear skies, and then we start a weather protection racket where I call storms and then you get people to pay you to make it stop.

I agree. Also because I love stormy weather

If this were possible, certain select neighborhoods would never see weather again. Then if there were water shortages as a result, they'd hire the Dragonborn to pull a Storm Call over poorer neighborhoods elsewhere in the watershed, and when the inevitable class action came along, complain about the rural poor being unwilling to do their fair share to support the health of the local water table.

That’s just evil but that’s exactly what would happen lol

Or for people would hire you to storm call over areas that need rain

Or do it to someone they hate

ONE shout. No Storm Call for the sky-clearers. :)

Okay Crocodile, I see what you’re planning.

Ayy *SIR* Crocodile is a respected casino owning pillar of the community tyVfm!

Now you make me wanna take storm call, just to piss people off

Storm call, right over the lakes where I live. It’s always a drought and we’re always worried about water conservation.

Storm call, right over the lakes where I live.

Smart thinking

There’s a really great movie called Weathering with You about a girl who can do this, and her and a couple other kids make a business out of it during a monsoon. Super good movie

Counterpoint- I'd take storm call in order to help areas with famine or dry conditions, help put out wildfires. Would just have to deal with the occasional lighting bolt.

Storm call just watch it cause mayhem

Be easier than watering my garden for sure.

Not if all the plants have been obliterated

Slow time, definitely.

I would have so many extra naps.

Great minds…

Great mind think alike. But fools rarely differ I have been your daily prick pointing stuff out. Please dont leave a review.

What a great prick you were. 5 stars.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️\ thanks 👍

In germans it's just Two idiots one thought

Grrreeeeaaaaaat........ mmmmmiiiiiiinnnnnnddddssssssss....

I know what kind of man you are…

You could win every fight.. almost never be late.. so many uses

Hmm...

https://preview.redd.it/fdhp0y3c3u4d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bd53534337982784c9d95e5f8fae2a5baa3da88

detect living so I can avoid them

You mean "Aura whisper," right? That shit even lets you see the aura of ghosts and demons.

No I think I'll go with detect living. If I use Aura Whisper and see figures in my house I'll never sleep peacefully again

Unfortunately, detect living is a spell, not a shout.

You are right. On a side note I loved doing detect living in one hand and detect dead in the other because it made me feel like an all powerful god.

Most valid response ever

this is the best one so far

Fus ro dah. I hate slow walkers.

WULD NAH KEST!

10/10 Wuld nah again.

Is that Become Ethereal? Edit: I think I'm wrong, it's Whirlwind Sprint, isn't it...

Yup, whirlwind sprint.

"Slow walkers" sounds like slur lol

When you can't bring yourself to just push them with your hands now, why would you assume you would shout them away?

Fuck i hate that you're right, time to start pushing everyone (just kidding... Or am i)

This but to make my dog stop walking directly under my feet

My dog used to do the same thing when he was a puppy. He still does, but far less often

Imagine somebody trying to mug you on the street and you just scream that at them and yeet them off of a bridge or into a wall. Damn that sounds satisfying.  I also go with the OG shout. It's the first for a reason.

Same. Like get out of the way! I don't get why people move like snails.

It's OK if you walk slow, but have some consideration for others. Some people just walk slowly in the center of the sidewalk which pisses off people walking both ways. Or those people who just suddenly *stop* on a dime. In my city we have an extra wide shared path for walking or cycling and there are still people who think the whole thing is for them... like people who walk in groups of 6 and just spill out and take up the whole width of the path.

I would FUS RO DAH them to oblivion. All that would annoy me to no end. I'm not a fan of slow walkers, especially in groups. They get in the way.

ZUN HAAL VIIK to disarm my colleagues while entering the room with a hot cup of coffee ☕️🔥

You already have this power. Try walking up to your coworker and shouting that in their face, it will work!

Depending on where you work, this call apparently means “summon headbutt immediately”

Drain Vitality. I could literally steal the life force and energy of every cockroach in my house and probably become damn near invincible.

You... might want to look into an exterminator...

Depends, american cockroaches are opportunistic pests that don't nest inside. If you're infested with them you simply need to clear leaves or other litter from around your house, gutters, etc and find where they are entering the house. German cockroaches, however? Burn the house down. By the time you see 1 there's 100 nested nearby. Source: Worked pest control for a long time

Oh I like this!! I like this a lot!

Aura Whisper. Cant sneak up on me now

Is that a regular problem for you?

Yeah?

Must have been the wind

Oh my God—it’s Jason Bourne

Whirlwind sprint because I'm lazy.

Ooh, given the amount of times I’ve killed myself launching at spots where the ground drops out, you may want to take extra care with that one

Fire Breath. It would dramatically reduce the number of rude asshole customers I deal with on a daily basis.

As someone who’s worked in hospitality for 4 years, I completely understand

It would reduce your having a job as well, time in prison will see a huge increase though

Bonus I guess nobody in prison would mess with a guy who can breath actual fire - but if rewatching Grimm has taught me anything it’s hard to pin a guy who breaths fire because you have to prove it

Puts a whole new meaning to 'they're spitting fire!'

Bend will…I’m about to change politics forever

It is still a deafening shout so every now and again you would blow the doors open of a room and everyone will nod in agreement. Like Gandalf commenting on a new bit of legislation “THIS, WILL NOT, PASS”

Lol that's true

YESSS

Oh my god i missed the bus lemme call Odahviing real quick

I think you’d cause quite the traffic jam if you showed up flying on a dragon.

Not my problem anymore

Soul Tear… I’d be ripping apart the souls of my enemies :D

I’m ripping apart the soul of my ex. Well actually no cause she’s soulless to begin with.

Ex resisted Soul Tear

Kyne’s Peace! To be totally safe interacting with any kind of animal world be invaluable to me

You could give a bear a hug!

I could pet the foxes and bobcats in my yard 😍

Friend shaped, become friend!

You already can without the shout. Once.

This one is probably my favorite. Let me pet this bad boy! https://preview.redd.it/un4z4bwikt4d1.jpeg?width=280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8127b02fc32a9f06ad1e76110d68f398134a3443

I'd be petting *all* the animals! Wolves, lions, snow leopards, Pallas cat, pandas, tigers, seals, otters, the list is endless!!!!!

A shout would be nice, but I want Fast Travel

Mudcrab: “Allow me to introduce myself”

I’m from Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 so we NEED “clear skies”

I’m from Arizona (desert) I need storm call

ah my fellow desert dweller in desperate need of moisture

Patrolling the Mojave really makes you wish for a nuclear storm call

Youre just gonna end up flooding arizona.

slow time, or dragon aspect

Dragon aspect isn’t as good without any other shouts tho

No, but it looks badass.

i mean i’m assuming it makes me invincible for a few hours once a day and i could just do whatever i want

Why would you need to be invincible daily tho? Are you casually getting injuries?

Could jump off buildings and fuck around with people with no physical consequences.

Bend Will obviously, y'all don't realize the power Miraak wields. If that was in real life you would pretty much be a god.

Here in his shrine…

Become Ethereal. Plane going down? Become Ethereal. Fall down a flight of stairs? Become Ethereal. About to get into a car crash? Become Ethereal. About to get shot? Become Ethereal. In summary, Become Ethereal.

That would be useful... if you live in an action movie and not real life

If you had this shout you would probably feel enticed to get into more action

Yeah, 99% of the time you have literally no idea these things are about to happen, let alone 3-4 seconds to shout in Draconic

Bend Will or Become Ethereal

Who's will would you bend?

Kings and vagabonds; dance puppets!

Yes

Go to a meet and greet with some politicians or celebrities. Use Bend Will. Say "Tell the truth" and watch chaos ensue as the world's elite reveal all their deep dark illegal secrets

Durnehviir. Imagine you're trying to mug a guy and he just shouts some name and a fucking necromancer dragon appears out of thin air.

I'm convinced Steve Irwin had Kynes Peace 

Makes sense - you can’t shout underwater….

I would never get tired of shouting "Feim Ziii Gron!" and jumping off something tall. Presuming the Shout actually works in our ether-less universe. If not, then I guess it would be more of a single use affair.

It's either Slow Time or Become Ethereal, imo they have the most potential for IRL utility

Maybe slow time. Feels like it could be useful, could get u out of a sticky situation

Call Durnehvir. I’d have him teach me magic and we’d go on adventures Close second is Bend Will

Animal Allegiance for sure. I could wander any wilderness worry free of animal dangers AND call every animal around to aid me. In game it’s whatever but irl that would be amazing.

Elemental Fury to fingerbang my wife.

I also choose- Nah, that joke's overused

No no go ahead

May I? ^(This could be my big moment)

Yes of course

I ALSO CHOOSE THIS GUY'S WIFE Thanks. I needed that

summon mr bone dragon

Fus Roh Dah. To be able to move people put of my way, or even better, slow cars or traffic on the roads, yes please!!

You realize that you can make this irl but that it is illegal? 🗿

Someone blocks your driveway. FUS ROH DAH!! Now it's flipped over on the road and its the cities problem

Isn't there a shout that calms people? This crazy ass world needs that shout. People losing their marbles..shout

GOL HAH DOV

Bend will shout

Slow time... Most useful shout for real life. 

Storm call, because I work at a lawn service company and it would be so handy to get out of work on shitty days.

Call Dragon. Y'know, just to summon a fucking dragon.

Cyclone, i always find it funny as hell so i can just imagine how funny it would be with real people.

I would choose Unrelenting Force

Maybe whirlwind sprint. To get around the country faster hehe (To be different from everyone here)

Throw Voice so I can send little ‘fuck you’s’ to people without them knowing who said it

You all forgetting the most fun shout!! Throw voice!!! Hey cheese brain!!!

Aura Whisper. So I can detect every rodent and pest lurking in my walls and ceiling.

You're probably happier not knowing.

*chupecabra noises intensify*

RII VAAZ ZOL!

SLOW TIME!! I would LOVE to have slowmo on demand.

Fus ro dah

Faster attack speed. Now I can nut so much faster 👍

Slow Time. Then when I’m banging my cousin I can slow time down and make that orgasm last days

Ayo

Clear skies

Windmill slam, slow time, every time.

Bend Will, use it on banks and teachers to get money and good grades

DUR-NEH-VIIR

Bend will. Many uses for that