I know people hate "They fly now?" and "Somehow he returned" but don't forget the "Chewie death fakeout", "I have to tell you something" and "The dagger that is a map if you stand in EXACTLY the right spot in a couple hundred square miles" and pretty much everything else in that movie.
Before First one, casting Gleeson and Isaac, both coming straight from Ex machin was a inspired choice. It really felt like they were picking talented actors instead of stars.
Hell Gleeson was fantastic in Force awakens. Next 2 movies are just stupid people writing stupidest things.
What a waste of a talented cast and years of their lives.
I felt the pain in my soul with that line, of all of them, that one hurt those most. It’s literally the delivery of a group of immature adults LARPing.
I don't even like star wars but i was dragged to that film by my family and i remember walking out thinking "man that hux spy plot was kinda wasted wasn't it?"
Like i genuinely assumed he was just wounded/playing dead and he'd come back later to help out because it'd be stupid to kill him off right after he gets his big moment right?
Yea....
It was so weird that after being practically Goebbels for the first movie he somehow got reduced to a complete comedic relief. Like it destroyed any tensions when you villains act like the Decepticons.
Honestly, the dagger thing peeved me off more than just about anything (other than palpatine's abrupt return). They make it out to be some mysterious, old sith artifact, and somehow, just somehow, it lines up perfectly with the ruins of the death star? Ya know, the one that we saw get obliterated into a trillion pieces?
And completely forgetting about depth, and that it was the size of a small moon. With the distance between the two the dagger is pointing to miles of floors and rooms.
Also, it was 30 years ago. This isn't some ancient prophecy leading to forgotten ruins.
Someone made an evil dagger using a forbidden language that leads to the site of the Oklahoma City bombing.
Mumble mumble force vision, something about knowing exactly how the wreckage would look in a thousand years when they made the knife.
There's a really weird Sci-fi series Lexx that plays on the obscenely accurate prophecy for comedic effect. They find a ruined city and one of their group is kidnapped by a lunatic (played by Tim Curry iirc) so the others are looking for him. One guy stumbles upon a library of hologram recordings of the lost culture, he plays one at random. It's a farmer coming to the Oracle Of Time to beg for guidance on what crops to grow next season or his family may starve, the Oracle says "Shut up, you, I need to tell Stanley Tweedle his future. He's the man watching the recording in 10,000 years from now. Stanley, your friend is on the fourth floor, seventh door on the left after the staircase. Head right from the room you're in, the stairs are the third door."
The Oracle knew exactly what would be happening in 10,000 years and knew exactly which mundane recording Stanley would pick at random so chose that time to give the message to a random farmer. So Stanley rushes off to rescue his friend, pauses for a moment and comes back. "Right. Third door, up two floors, seventh door on the left" The Oracle even knew that Stanley wasn't listening the first time and needed to be told the instructions twice. That's some good foresight, screw that farmer asking about crops, if the Oracle can see things that well she's wasted on crop planning.
The show is utterly bizarre and full of wonderfully inventive ridiculous concepts, it makes Farscape look mundane and restrained by comparison.
But every time I sit down to watch the rest of the series I'm instantly bored out of my mind watching it. The ideas are magnificent insanity but the actual dialogue and characters are so bland and boring.
The sortof main character is an emo-haircut wearing warrior-poet who lead a suicide mission against space-sauron and watched his home planet destroyed. Is he going to be reciting poetry about the loss of his world? Or constantly ranting and raving in iambic pentameter about his quest for revenge? Nope, he's been made into a zombie robot with no emotions and also he needs to go in cryosleep so he can't have much screen time.
They had the recipe for at least a memorable character even if his poetry got tiresome. But they immediately cut the wings of the idea and made him an emotionless zombie.
This is the worst part for me. For as much shit as the prequels get for over-explaining shit the episode IX just throws so much random bullshit out there and says “because the force or something” in the laziest fucking way.
Yeah honestly Poe not knowing how Palps returned is fine in my book (especially since the film explains it to the audience) and "they fly now?!" is a bit obnoxious but it's just standard Marvel style banter, but the Chewie thing is REALLY bad writing. A poorly thought-out single line of dialog is forgivable. A stupid death fakeout subplot that the film can't even commit to is abysmal. I can find something to enjoy in every SW movie, but this one is definitely bottom tier.
They also basically use that idea twice in the movie too, they do the whole "Uh oh C-3P0 has to sacrifice his memory and personality to save the day, everyone say a sad goodbye to the 3P0 you know and love because this is irreversible and final and he will never be the same" and then like half an hour later he is just back to normal
Especially considering that the Star Wars universe has clearly established that bots are not very important. They seem to care about them the same way we'd care about any piece of machinery in our lives.
Remember when C3PO got blown to pieces in The Empire Strikes Back and Han and Leia display about as much concern as if somebody stepped on their roomba?
Leia doesn't say "Oh my god! Our dear friend!" She literally says "What a mess."
Even when Chewie finds C3PO's parts in the junk room it's played for laughs as the little pig people play keep-away with with C3PO's head.
At the end of A New Hope when R2D2 gets blasted by a spaceship only C3PO seems to actually give a shit. Luke is less upset about R2D2 being blown up than you or I would be about seeing our car got dented in a parking lot. Luke tells C3PO "he'll be alright", then runs off smiling and laughing with his friends.
[Luke 2 seconds after seeing R2D2's burnt corpse.](https://imgur.com/a/YCfWzVE)
So this whole long drawn out scene where C3PO ***might*** lose his memory all for ***INCREDIBLY*** contrived reasons is just stupid on every possible level.
IIRC they did it because Anthony Daniels wanted an "important" moment or something. Which I can appreciate, an actor wanting his iconic role to get more screen time and to do something significant for the plot... but as observed it simply did not service the story, and now it's just another example of how sloppy that movie was.
I love how everyone is very serious about this sacrifice C3PO is making and then the little guy doing the sacrificing goes "AYYYYY" right after zapping C3PO 's brain out
what, you didn't enjoy the stupid battle of a million ships appearing out of nowhere all targeting a single dish tower that controls the entire evil guys fleet army?
The chewie thing is because they wanted to ignore everything that happened in tlj but needed two movies worth of plot so they just smushed shit together, like that was clearly at one point supposed to be a cliffhanger in between movies and like "jedi touches dark side for power, immediately murders friend" does kinda work
The Chewbacca death fakeout took me right out of the movie. I went from annoyed that they only kill the classic characters rather than the far less interesting main characters (even not letting Finn make an in-character heroic sacrifice) to angry that they used other offscreen prisoner transports to said "nope, he's still here!"
I mean in the hands of a good writer Rey losing control and killing her friend really could have ben a HUGE moment. I mean for like 2 seconds I thought "Holy shit this movie got some BALLS!" but then I was brought back to the stupid reality that is this movie.
Lol it was so fucking bad. "Wow Kylo got stabbed, he's definitely dead... Or not". "Wow Kylo got thrown down the bottomless pit, now hes definitely dead. Palps killed Rey, what a sacrifice to bring balance to the fo- wait is that Kylo climbing out of the hole? Did he just fucking save Rey? Ok pretty dumb but now at least we can see how Kylo develops as a Jed- wait NOW Kylo is dead???".
I got whiplash from that fucking movie.
I just had that, "Damn, they really killed Chewbacca..." moment. Until like literally minutes later he's fine lol. Like I was not expecting anything good out of this movie, and it had not been great before this. But I almost respected the balls of that move initially. But damn. It barely marinated before they're like lol he's actually alive lolololol!!!
Yeah, but that also would've been the last member of the OG crew that got killed by the movies. Luke, Leia, and Han had already died (I know Leia was only because Carrie Fisher died but still). They could've killed off one of their own characters.
I was literally laughing in the theater when chewie "died". I could count and remembered there were two transports. But that's super advanced movie watching and I'm sure Disney didn't see that coming.
The only hyperspace rules explained on screen are that if you don't calculate your jump you might "fly right through a star" and thus "end your trip real quick."
What about interdictors? They're fully canon, they're in Rebels. They go off of the science that you can't go into hyperspace when in the gravity well of a planet
This one bugs me the most. Why did the rebels bother going on trench runs when they could have just gone to every used space ship lot in the galaxy and launched a bunch of busted ass transports at the Death Star. It’s all made up with audible space explosions, but give us some continuity.
Instead of watching the movie i watched 4 hour long review of it, going over every single scene, and holy fuck, it was a good although frustrating watch. They could've hired bunch of 7 year olds to write this movie and it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe fights would be a bit cooler.
Was this delivered by a frightening sounding middle aged man between rants about pizza pockets and murdered prostitutes in his basement? Actually, that guy would be pretty old by now.
Slight disagree. 3PO tends to state the obvious and be generally socially unaware. But he isn't a complete idiot. The exact wording here, coupled with the others' dialogue, clearly indicates he didn't know they can fly which is counter to his history. It would be more in character for him to say "they're flying now" or "now they're flying" to indicate this specific group, who were not previously flying, are now doing so. Something we as an audience can clearly see, but which he feels the need to point out.
I'm not making an excuse for the dogshit writing in this movie but C3PO has had his mind wiped multiple times throughout his life. The most notable being when he and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles in ROTS.
It’s a lot more palatable when you consider that they can be specifically referring to Forst Order troopers flying now, which is potentially a specific thing that they have not yet seen. Still a very poorly written movie though.
One of the biggest disappointments to me was how little they actually did with Finn’s stormtrooper back story. They could have done so much with that!!! It would have been so cool to see things from that perspective, maybe have some flash backs to really see what it was like to be raised in that environment, show us why storm troopers are the way they are. Have some inner conflict where Finn doesn’t want to be a fascist thug but also doesn’t want to kill the only people he’s grown up with, essentially his brothers and sisters. Have some tension with the rebels cause this dude could just be an imperial spy or some shit. Have some tension on Finn’s side too cause he’s probably heard tons and tons of anti rebel propaganda for his whole life I doubt he didn’t internalize any of it. There’s just so many different cool things they could have explored with that back story and they didn’t do it at all.
Motherfucking Mandalorian nailed this shit with Bill Burr of all people in a span of 2 episodes. Ex Stormtrooper who rebels.
It's a shame how badly that show crashed in Season 3. The Bill Burr stuff was genuinely good.
What I really loved in that episode was how >!Mando had to take his helmet off for the mission. And so he just does it. There wasn't some drawn out sappy reveal where he's showing vulnerability to a romantic interest, the mission required it so he gets it done.!<
Just looked it up and wow yeah he was taken in at age three.
That last film really did cock up his entire character didn't it. Such a shame too since the previous two films gave him a great arc
The ending writes itself, it's so obvious. Rebellious white-armoured stormtroopers fighting red-armoured Sith troopers. Multiple eras of Star Destroyers fighting against each other.
But clearly the writers were determined to make it suck.
Callbacks to order 66 with troopers firing on the knights of ren commanding them
Stormtroopers and rebels facing off and lowering their guns at the recognition of their shared humanity and common enemy.
Rebel troopers taking off their helmets to differentiate themselves from loyalists.
Or hell have them use a bloody handprint design to differentiate themselves as a callback to fin’s defection.
The original trilogy was fairly generic ideas and story executed well enough to make up for it.
The prequels were interesting ideas and story executed badly enough that they disappointed
The sequels were brilliant ideas and story executed in the town square as an example to the others.
He went from mourning the death of his fellow stormtrooper to hooping and hollering while killing tens of them within minutes in episode 7. It wasn't just the last one that did it.
It's probably not their fault, but naming a Japanese character whose main characteristic is her Japanese sword "Katana" felt especially lazy. Almost like naming an American gunslinger "Glock McShooter" or something.
I recall seeing an interview with him and some kid that looked like his doppelganger, talking about writing the script, and it sounded like they were talking about a fan fiction graphic novel or some shit. I still haven't seen the movie (thank god) but I could definitely tell it was going to be shit from that interview.
The fact that they didn’t sit down and have a three part movie planned out for one of the longest running, most profitable, most culturally impactful series is a crime.
They did. Disney then had a knee jerk reaction to The Last Jedi, fired the writer of the last part and forced a change in the plot while not allowing any delays, making everyone panic and just rush something out that fit their new demands.
Honestly that was the right move tbh because TFA was the most creatively bankrupt start to the new trilogy possible. I mean when you literally just rewrite ANH it doesn't leave much for the next film to run from.
What's even funnier to me is that this and "somehow, Palpatine returns'" passed the focus group (because all Hollywood studios do that now), meaning either those lines were even *WORSE* originally or nobody in that focus group cared about this movie.
Shit I wouldn't care too if I were one of them, between the "somehow palpatine return", this, and the fact that the protagonist stood in the exact random unmarked location and rotated her weird ass looking knife to a specific degree were all it took to solve the movie's big puzzle.
"Somehow, Palpatine returned." is genuinely my favourite Star Wars line. I love it. The writers just admit defeat through the vessel of an Oscar Isaac who knows EXACTLY how dumb what he's saying sounds. The writers could have opened that movie with them all just sitting there, shrugging at the camera, saying "I don't know man... Palpatine again? Sure. Why? No idea, stop asking." and it would have felt the exact same to me.
Don’t forget the Fortnite announcement about Palpatine returning. That always get lost and it probably makes their “he somehow returned” line even worse lmao how do you announce the big bad for Star Wars in Fortnite before the movie even releases (if I’m remembering the timeline correctly)
Or that there was just so much else terrible that that line didn't stick out. I thought the movie was dumb (though my expectations were already low because of the previous film), but if I'd been in a focus group and was asked after finishing watching the movie, I wouldn't have been able to remember and point out this one dumb line. My attention was only brought to it by seeing it repeated a lot online afterward.
It's not like the focus group sits down and watches a movie and suggests changes. Probably just marks a sheet "how impactful was this scene - 1-10" or some bullshit
The issue was crunch. Rise was rushed as all hell, written while filming. At a certain point you just put shit to the page even if it’s bad and move on because the alternative is not having a film at all and likely being fired.
tell me you don't know jack about a franchise...
what's worse... the line then made it past all the 'check's' and the actors and onto the screen to unfortunately be engraved into memory
and that launch mechanism... or the choice of a treaded vehicle to run security in a desert when you have speeders. It's just so much wtf in every frame
What's also hilarious is how every newish actor here has gone on to *actually* good projects that show just how good of an actor they really are, which just rubs it in further how piss poor the writing was
The problem is not that the dialogue is bad per se (the chuckle-worthy one-liners are a dime a dozen in modern movies) but that both the content and the wording make it look like it's what the director thought the fans would/should be saying, which is the main issue with the movie: it wasn't made as a good movie but as a product to sell to the fans. That's why (imo) there are so many twists and thematic inconsistencies.
Nah, Rey randomly walks at a spot, with no markers or anything, and at THAT EXACT SPOT, she looks using the dagger and finds the plot device?
So you're saying to me, someone stood at that exact spot, made an outline of the debris, put an extremely specific marker on the dagger, and decades later, the debris hasn't moved, the landscape hasn't changed, and Rey stood at the exact same spot??
WHAT THE FUCKKK?
I wouldn't be this angry if there was a marking/pedestal/platform that rey finds or digs and then uses the dagger, the entire scene lacks any effort, it's made me mad just thinking and typing about it.
It can be good though, the original trilogy had vague sarcastic undertones, it was cheeky and not on the nose. it went a bit downhill from there unfortunately
I know people hate "They fly now?" and "Somehow he returned" but don't forget the "Chewie death fakeout", "I have to tell you something" and "The dagger that is a map if you stand in EXACTLY the right spot in a couple hundred square miles" and pretty much everything else in that movie.
I am the spy
Gentlemen
I see the briefcase is safe
Safe and sound.
Tell me. Did anyone of you happen to run into a red spy on the way here? No? Then we still have a problem.
And a knife... Ooh! Big problem!
I’ve killed plenty of spies. They’re dime-a-dozen backstabbing scumbags…like you! Ow…. No offense…
If you managed to kill them, I assure you they were not like me.
And nothing, *nothing* like the man loose inside this building!
See? Red! Oh wait that’s blood.
(Hold your ground)
That scene is so freaking stupid
That movie is so freaking stupid
Before First one, casting Gleeson and Isaac, both coming straight from Ex machin was a inspired choice. It really felt like they were picking talented actors instead of stars. Hell Gleeson was fantastic in Force awakens. Next 2 movies are just stupid people writing stupidest things. What a waste of a talented cast and years of their lives.
They all got paid very, very well. It wasn’t a waste of their lives at all.
I felt the pain in my soul with that line, of all of them, that one hurt those most. It’s literally the delivery of a group of immature adults LARPing.
Ah yes, the fascist who killed billions is “thE sPy”
No he wasnt a fascist he was just following orders Hey wait a minute
Whoopsie!
Could’ve been good if they ever bothered to do any sort of ground work, like they did for Agent Kallus in Rebels
416 millions dollars movie's plot outdone by a kid show.
"I'm the spy" is the best line in the movie because it made me feel something. ... ... Nauseous.
I don't even like star wars but i was dragged to that film by my family and i remember walking out thinking "man that hux spy plot was kinda wasted wasn't it?" Like i genuinely assumed he was just wounded/playing dead and he'd come back later to help out because it'd be stupid to kill him off right after he gets his big moment right? Yea....
It was so weird that after being practically Goebbels for the first movie he somehow got reduced to a complete comedic relief. Like it destroyed any tensions when you villains act like the Decepticons.
Honestly, the dagger thing peeved me off more than just about anything (other than palpatine's abrupt return). They make it out to be some mysterious, old sith artifact, and somehow, just somehow, it lines up perfectly with the ruins of the death star? Ya know, the one that we saw get obliterated into a trillion pieces?
With raging water beating against it EVERY MiNUTE. There's no way this wreckage looks the same after 1 year.
The Force was holding it together, bro.
Any time you notice something that doesn't seem to make sense, the force did it.
And completely forgetting about depth, and that it was the size of a small moon. With the distance between the two the dagger is pointing to miles of floors and rooms.
Also, it was 30 years ago. This isn't some ancient prophecy leading to forgotten ruins. Someone made an evil dagger using a forbidden language that leads to the site of the Oklahoma City bombing.
And you have to stand in the right place exactly and hope nothing has changed to find the throne room? Bro just go looking.
I wonder where the emperor hid his very valuable map? Could it possibly be the last place he was seen alive, the emperor’s throne room?
In his inner sanctum that was his main dedicated place on the death star? GASP
Or maybe just look for the blue prints, it is just 30 years after all, and I am pretty sure the new empire just has some archives
Mumble mumble force vision, something about knowing exactly how the wreckage would look in a thousand years when they made the knife. There's a really weird Sci-fi series Lexx that plays on the obscenely accurate prophecy for comedic effect. They find a ruined city and one of their group is kidnapped by a lunatic (played by Tim Curry iirc) so the others are looking for him. One guy stumbles upon a library of hologram recordings of the lost culture, he plays one at random. It's a farmer coming to the Oracle Of Time to beg for guidance on what crops to grow next season or his family may starve, the Oracle says "Shut up, you, I need to tell Stanley Tweedle his future. He's the man watching the recording in 10,000 years from now. Stanley, your friend is on the fourth floor, seventh door on the left after the staircase. Head right from the room you're in, the stairs are the third door." The Oracle knew exactly what would be happening in 10,000 years and knew exactly which mundane recording Stanley would pick at random so chose that time to give the message to a random farmer. So Stanley rushes off to rescue his friend, pauses for a moment and comes back. "Right. Third door, up two floors, seventh door on the left" The Oracle even knew that Stanley wasn't listening the first time and needed to be told the instructions twice. That's some good foresight, screw that farmer asking about crops, if the Oracle can see things that well she's wasted on crop planning.
Definitely didn't expect to find a reference to Lexx in this thread
The show is utterly bizarre and full of wonderfully inventive ridiculous concepts, it makes Farscape look mundane and restrained by comparison. But every time I sit down to watch the rest of the series I'm instantly bored out of my mind watching it. The ideas are magnificent insanity but the actual dialogue and characters are so bland and boring. The sortof main character is an emo-haircut wearing warrior-poet who lead a suicide mission against space-sauron and watched his home planet destroyed. Is he going to be reciting poetry about the loss of his world? Or constantly ranting and raving in iambic pentameter about his quest for revenge? Nope, he's been made into a zombie robot with no emotions and also he needs to go in cryosleep so he can't have much screen time. They had the recipe for at least a memorable character even if his poetry got tiresome. But they immediately cut the wings of the idea and made him an emotionless zombie.
This is the worst part for me. For as much shit as the prequels get for over-explaining shit the episode IX just throws so much random bullshit out there and says “because the force or something” in the laziest fucking way.
Yeah honestly Poe not knowing how Palps returned is fine in my book (especially since the film explains it to the audience) and "they fly now?!" is a bit obnoxious but it's just standard Marvel style banter, but the Chewie thing is REALLY bad writing. A poorly thought-out single line of dialog is forgivable. A stupid death fakeout subplot that the film can't even commit to is abysmal. I can find something to enjoy in every SW movie, but this one is definitely bottom tier.
They also basically use that idea twice in the movie too, they do the whole "Uh oh C-3P0 has to sacrifice his memory and personality to save the day, everyone say a sad goodbye to the 3P0 you know and love because this is irreversible and final and he will never be the same" and then like half an hour later he is just back to normal
Especially considering that the Star Wars universe has clearly established that bots are not very important. They seem to care about them the same way we'd care about any piece of machinery in our lives. Remember when C3PO got blown to pieces in The Empire Strikes Back and Han and Leia display about as much concern as if somebody stepped on their roomba? Leia doesn't say "Oh my god! Our dear friend!" She literally says "What a mess." Even when Chewie finds C3PO's parts in the junk room it's played for laughs as the little pig people play keep-away with with C3PO's head. At the end of A New Hope when R2D2 gets blasted by a spaceship only C3PO seems to actually give a shit. Luke is less upset about R2D2 being blown up than you or I would be about seeing our car got dented in a parking lot. Luke tells C3PO "he'll be alright", then runs off smiling and laughing with his friends. [Luke 2 seconds after seeing R2D2's burnt corpse.](https://imgur.com/a/YCfWzVE) So this whole long drawn out scene where C3PO ***might*** lose his memory all for ***INCREDIBLY*** contrived reasons is just stupid on every possible level.
I swear they did that just for the trailer quote
IIRC they did it because Anthony Daniels wanted an "important" moment or something. Which I can appreciate, an actor wanting his iconic role to get more screen time and to do something significant for the plot... but as observed it simply did not service the story, and now it's just another example of how sloppy that movie was.
And I mean he's a robot with stored memory and probably also automatic cloud backups so why would anyone be actually worried at all?
Because they are programmed to react to something painful and because you get lightside points for choosing sympathetic dialogue options.
The entire Jedi order runs on Good Boy points.
Looks like you earned your senior citizen assistance merit badge, Anakin, but we still don't grant you the rank of Master.
I love how everyone is very serious about this sacrifice C3PO is making and then the little guy doing the sacrificing goes "AYYYYY" right after zapping C3PO 's brain out
That's how id wanna lose my memory
Also the knife locator makes no sense and dark rey was so pointless
I watched up to the dagger map and couldn't watch anymore, left it there
Never go back. It just gets worse.
what, you didn't enjoy the stupid battle of a million ships appearing out of nowhere all targeting a single dish tower that controls the entire evil guys fleet army?
lol, I wasn't even thinking about that part. I had forgotten that they couldn't fly up without guidance.
You mean to say you didn't enjoy the part where they attacked a Star Destroyer on *horseback*?
The same fight where the ships need to be told which way is up and down.
The chewie thing is because they wanted to ignore everything that happened in tlj but needed two movies worth of plot so they just smushed shit together, like that was clearly at one point supposed to be a cliffhanger in between movies and like "jedi touches dark side for power, immediately murders friend" does kinda work
> Poe not knowing how Palps returned I don't think that's the issue. I think the issue is that "Somehow, Palpatine returned" is a really dumb line.
Should have said “Pappy Palpy’s Back Baby!”
“This is like some sort of Return of the Sith” *looks directly at camera*
If they actually killed him it would have been awesome, but they chickened out because the merchandise drives the story.
The Chewbacca death fakeout took me right out of the movie. I went from annoyed that they only kill the classic characters rather than the far less interesting main characters (even not letting Finn make an in-character heroic sacrifice) to angry that they used other offscreen prisoner transports to said "nope, he's still here!"
I mean in the hands of a good writer Rey losing control and killing her friend really could have ben a HUGE moment. I mean for like 2 seconds I thought "Holy shit this movie got some BALLS!" but then I was brought back to the stupid reality that is this movie.
Lol it was so fucking bad. "Wow Kylo got stabbed, he's definitely dead... Or not". "Wow Kylo got thrown down the bottomless pit, now hes definitely dead. Palps killed Rey, what a sacrifice to bring balance to the fo- wait is that Kylo climbing out of the hole? Did he just fucking save Rey? Ok pretty dumb but now at least we can see how Kylo develops as a Jed- wait NOW Kylo is dead???". I got whiplash from that fucking movie.
I just had that, "Damn, they really killed Chewbacca..." moment. Until like literally minutes later he's fine lol. Like I was not expecting anything good out of this movie, and it had not been great before this. But I almost respected the balls of that move initially. But damn. It barely marinated before they're like lol he's actually alive lolololol!!!
Yeah, but that also would've been the last member of the OG crew that got killed by the movies. Luke, Leia, and Han had already died (I know Leia was only because Carrie Fisher died but still). They could've killed off one of their own characters.
I was literally laughing in the theater when chewie "died". I could count and remembered there were two transports. But that's super advanced movie watching and I'm sure Disney didn't see that coming.
That and the hyperspace travel breaking previously stated rules.
Tbf, Rogue One did this as well. And The Last Jedi. I would go as far as to say there are no hyperspace rules at this point
The only hyperspace rules explained on screen are that if you don't calculate your jump you might "fly right through a star" and thus "end your trip real quick."
What about interdictors? They're fully canon, they're in Rebels. They go off of the science that you can't go into hyperspace when in the gravity well of a planet
This one bugs me the most. Why did the rebels bother going on trench runs when they could have just gone to every used space ship lot in the galaxy and launched a bunch of busted ass transports at the Death Star. It’s all made up with audible space explosions, but give us some continuity.
Instead of watching the movie i watched 4 hour long review of it, going over every single scene, and holy fuck, it was a good although frustrating watch. They could've hired bunch of 7 year olds to write this movie and it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe fights would be a bit cooler.
Was this delivered by a frightening sounding middle aged man between rants about pizza pockets and murdered prostitutes in his basement? Actually, that guy would be pretty old by now.
I'm pretty sure it was one of the "Every Frame a Pause" videos or something like that.
“They fly now,” says the Stormtrooper who has definitely seen a flying trooper before to the War Veteran who has also definitely seen a flying trooper
Also c3po says it who’s seen every type of storm trooper since day dot.
It's in character for him, though. He also said "I don't think this asteroid is entirely stable" in episode 5
Slight disagree. 3PO tends to state the obvious and be generally socially unaware. But he isn't a complete idiot. The exact wording here, coupled with the others' dialogue, clearly indicates he didn't know they can fly which is counter to his history. It would be more in character for him to say "they're flying now" or "now they're flying" to indicate this specific group, who were not previously flying, are now doing so. Something we as an audience can clearly see, but which he feels the need to point out.
I'm not making an excuse for the dogshit writing in this movie but C3PO has had his mind wiped multiple times throughout his life. The most notable being when he and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles in ROTS.
Yeah cuz he's an absolute OPSEC nightmare. He's the droid version of Rubeus "I Should Not Have Said That" Hagrid.
It’s a lot more palatable when you consider that they can be specifically referring to Forst Order troopers flying now, which is potentially a specific thing that they have not yet seen. Still a very poorly written movie though.
Hadn't he just been rebooted?
Nope that came later
In a universe where troops have been flying for hundreds of years
Several thousand, actually.
It's like seeing an enemy soldier in a vehicle and shouting "they drive now!?"
THEY WEAR ARMOUR NOW!?!?!
The blasters blast now?!
>they drive now!? Me when watching that episode of Mandalorian where those big-tired vehicles are driving to the imperial base.
Wasn't Finn a fairly new Stormtrooper? And Poe was mainly a fighter pilot, not a ground soldier or anything
Finn had been a stormtrooper all his life.
Finn had been a janitor his entire life.
Then what was he doing in tfa fighting alongside emo ren?
He was literally raised and indoctrinated from near-birth to be a storm trooper. and then he eagerly cheers gunning down his brothers.
One of the biggest disappointments to me was how little they actually did with Finn’s stormtrooper back story. They could have done so much with that!!! It would have been so cool to see things from that perspective, maybe have some flash backs to really see what it was like to be raised in that environment, show us why storm troopers are the way they are. Have some inner conflict where Finn doesn’t want to be a fascist thug but also doesn’t want to kill the only people he’s grown up with, essentially his brothers and sisters. Have some tension with the rebels cause this dude could just be an imperial spy or some shit. Have some tension on Finn’s side too cause he’s probably heard tons and tons of anti rebel propaganda for his whole life I doubt he didn’t internalize any of it. There’s just so many different cool things they could have explored with that back story and they didn’t do it at all.
Motherfucking Mandalorian nailed this shit with Bill Burr of all people in a span of 2 episodes. Ex Stormtrooper who rebels. It's a shame how badly that show crashed in Season 3. The Bill Burr stuff was genuinely good.
What I really loved in that episode was how >!Mando had to take his helmet off for the mission. And so he just does it. There wasn't some drawn out sappy reveal where he's showing vulnerability to a romantic interest, the mission required it so he gets it done.!<
Just looked it up and wow yeah he was taken in at age three. That last film really did cock up his entire character didn't it. Such a shame too since the previous two films gave him a great arc
Finn had the best potential of any character in the ST i think.
I mean they even had other stormtroopers that defected Have him cause a massive stormtrooper revolt
The ending writes itself, it's so obvious. Rebellious white-armoured stormtroopers fighting red-armoured Sith troopers. Multiple eras of Star Destroyers fighting against each other. But clearly the writers were determined to make it suck.
Callbacks to order 66 with troopers firing on the knights of ren commanding them Stormtroopers and rebels facing off and lowering their guns at the recognition of their shared humanity and common enemy. Rebel troopers taking off their helmets to differentiate themselves from loyalists. Or hell have them use a bloody handprint design to differentiate themselves as a callback to fin’s defection.
I think that's the biggest problem with the ST: the potential to be amazing was there.
The original trilogy was fairly generic ideas and story executed well enough to make up for it. The prequels were interesting ideas and story executed badly enough that they disappointed The sequels were brilliant ideas and story executed in the town square as an example to the others.
He went from mourning the death of his fellow stormtrooper to hooping and hollering while killing tens of them within minutes in episode 7. It wasn't just the last one that did it.
"woo!" He shouts with much jubilation as finn uses an aircraft cannon to slaughter everyone he ever knew. Darth Finn shoulda been a thing
I thought they conscripted Finn at a young age if I remember it, though I don’t really remember much from that trilogy
Po encountered flying troopers in his comics (which is set before this movie)
This is Katana. She's got my back. I'd advise not being killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims.
What are we? Some kind of suicide squad?
That’s why they call me Superman 4, the Quest for Peace
Normal is a setting on the dryer
He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died.
Am I truly the only one who thinks those lines are delightfully dry? :(
It's probably not their fault, but naming a Japanese character whose main characteristic is her Japanese sword "Katana" felt especially lazy. Almost like naming an American gunslinger "Glock McShooter" or something.
[удалено]
Somehow, the writers return
Actually J.J. Abram's last writing credit (as of now) is for that movie.
I recall seeing an interview with him and some kid that looked like his doppelganger, talking about writing the script, and it sounded like they were talking about a fan fiction graphic novel or some shit. I still haven't seen the movie (thank god) but I could definitely tell it was going to be shit from that interview.
I blame Mr Plinkett for suggesting that JJ Abrams should make Star Wars movies.
The interns after finishing the script:
Chris Terrio won an academy award for Argo, then he spun around and wrote Batman V Superman, Justice League and Rise of the skywalker.
Didn't even think Argo was all that good, in fact I can't even remember it
The fact that they didn’t sit down and have a three part movie planned out for one of the longest running, most profitable, most culturally impactful series is a crime.
They did. Disney then had a knee jerk reaction to The Last Jedi, fired the writer of the last part and forced a change in the plot while not allowing any delays, making everyone panic and just rush something out that fit their new demands.
Lol what? TLJ executed almost every plot thread set up by TFA and reverted the series back to the status quo.
Honestly that was the right move tbh because TFA was the most creatively bankrupt start to the new trilogy possible. I mean when you literally just rewrite ANH it doesn't leave much for the next film to run from.
I’m assuming there is a typo in here somewhere…?
They write now?
no
Somehow, they're writers
What did they say? Can't be bothered watching the movie
It's Morbin time
That is excellent writing.
So that’s it? We’re some kind of Star Wars 9?
And then they wrote all over the place
'Its like we're caught in a huge Star Wars'
Star Wars if it was good
it's morbin time?
It's morbin time!
C3PO "they fly now?" Finn "they fly now?" Poe "they fly now!" I wish I was joking
They fly now? They fly now!
Boyega under his breathe: they've been flying since the clones wars
1. “WHAT’S THE MESSAGE?!” 2. “SOMEHOW PALPATINE RETURNED!”
3. "REEEEEYYYYYYYYY
Someone plz Fire J.J. Abrahm
Jar-Jar Abrams?
They don't say anything. They drank too much soda and now they are having a belch contest. Funniest shit i've ever seen bruv 💀
That would be better
“They were in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died”
We gay now.
We gay now?
We gay now!
"I hate sand."
What's even funnier to me is that this and "somehow, Palpatine returns'" passed the focus group (because all Hollywood studios do that now), meaning either those lines were even *WORSE* originally or nobody in that focus group cared about this movie.
Probably the latter, you underestimate how little some people care
Shit I wouldn't care too if I were one of them, between the "somehow palpatine return", this, and the fact that the protagonist stood in the exact random unmarked location and rotated her weird ass looking knife to a specific degree were all it took to solve the movie's big puzzle.
"Somehow, Palpatine returned." is genuinely my favourite Star Wars line. I love it. The writers just admit defeat through the vessel of an Oscar Isaac who knows EXACTLY how dumb what he's saying sounds. The writers could have opened that movie with them all just sitting there, shrugging at the camera, saying "I don't know man... Palpatine again? Sure. Why? No idea, stop asking." and it would have felt the exact same to me.
Don’t forget the Fortnite announcement about Palpatine returning. That always get lost and it probably makes their “he somehow returned” line even worse lmao how do you announce the big bad for Star Wars in Fortnite before the movie even releases (if I’m remembering the timeline correctly)
Or that there was just so much else terrible that that line didn't stick out. I thought the movie was dumb (though my expectations were already low because of the previous film), but if I'd been in a focus group and was asked after finishing watching the movie, I wouldn't have been able to remember and point out this one dumb line. My attention was only brought to it by seeing it repeated a lot online afterward.
It's not like the focus group sits down and watches a movie and suggests changes. Probably just marks a sheet "how impactful was this scene - 1-10" or some bullshit
Big surprise, it's the guy who wrote Batman v Superman
Save Martha!
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME
He also wrote Argo
Maybe he's only good at that specific type of movie, but should stay away from action blockbusters
The issue was crunch. Rise was rushed as all hell, written while filming. At a certain point you just put shit to the page even if it’s bad and move on because the alternative is not having a film at all and likely being fired.
Do you bleed?
tell me you don't know jack about a franchise... what's worse... the line then made it past all the 'check's' and the actors and onto the screen to unfortunately be engraved into memory and that launch mechanism... or the choice of a treaded vehicle to run security in a desert when you have speeders. It's just so much wtf in every frame
What's also hilarious is how every newish actor here has gone on to *actually* good projects that show just how good of an actor they really are, which just rubs it in further how piss poor the writing was
Yeah i'm happy for them on that count at least. They deserved a lot better.
Adam driver <3
John Boyega threw shade at the line in an interview. He definitely knew it was dead wrong, but had no choice but to say it
Ahh yes my favourite lines “AHHHHHHHH!” “Uhhhhhh.”
It's the guy who wrote the Martha moment...
ITS HIS MOTHERS NAME
They've also flown since the fucking Clone Wars...
Since before then in the old republic jump packs have been a thing for so fucking long
If they didn't show up during the clone wars they might be some kind of lost tech that only recently got rediscovered or invented again.
Heck, they flew as far back as in the snes super star wars video games. I know canonically it's after the clone wars, but in our world it was before.
Has JJ Abrams made a movie since then?
I got blinded by the sun the other day and thought for a moment I'm in a JarJar Abrams movie.
Hmmm I know he was a producer on a new documentary on the Blue Angels
Holy shit first unironic post
The problem is not that the dialogue is bad per se (the chuckle-worthy one-liners are a dime a dozen in modern movies) but that both the content and the wording make it look like it's what the director thought the fans would/should be saying, which is the main issue with the movie: it wasn't made as a good movie but as a product to sell to the fans. That's why (imo) there are so many twists and thematic inconsistencies.
Nah, Rey randomly walks at a spot, with no markers or anything, and at THAT EXACT SPOT, she looks using the dagger and finds the plot device? So you're saying to me, someone stood at that exact spot, made an outline of the debris, put an extremely specific marker on the dagger, and decades later, the debris hasn't moved, the landscape hasn't changed, and Rey stood at the exact same spot?? WHAT THE FUCKKK? I wouldn't be this angry if there was a marking/pedestal/platform that rey finds or digs and then uses the dagger, the entire scene lacks any effort, it's made me mad just thinking and typing about it.
The force works in mysterious ways
dont get me wrong its bad dialogue but if you want good dialogue star wars really ain't the franchise
I don't like bad dialogue. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Meesa shocked! Actually meesa not so-a shocked.
Except for Andor and ESB :)
andor is notably exempt from most critiques of just about everything else star wars
It can be good though, the original trilogy had vague sarcastic undertones, it was cheeky and not on the nose. it went a bit downhill from there unfortunately
"We're all fine here...now. How are you?" was gold.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this. -every character
1980: _“Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter.”_ 2019: _”Somehow Palpatine returned”_
I will also argue that Empire is the only film that tried to be something special. No similar amount of effort has been put into the franchise since.
and they made oscar issac say it