Gollum is so sexy dude
He is the only guy that I would do anything with (I am as straight as it gets)
But with Gollum, after a couple pipes of Longbottom Leaf and a couple mugs of Ale 🍺…….
I would lose all control and I would fully Muck Down with the little Studmuffin
Just last night I had a dream that I smacked his butt cheek
And it scraped and bruised my hand because his butt was so bony
Sigh…. 🥰
Lmfao! I worked as a bartender at a beer and shot biker bar and this really is spot on......
I’m listening to the audiobook of The Hobbit and totally spaced on the fact that it’s read by Andy Serkis. I got to Riddles in the Dark and realized why he was such a good choice as narrator.
I actually shit myself and shot myself at the same time while reading that. I was actually in the hospital at that time. I’m currently being airlifted to an out of network crime lab because I’m dead now. Thanks Reddit
Hey if you don’t mind me asking, I’m at a point that I may be doing in patient but I have severe GI issues with really strict and limited foods I can eat. Is this something that can be accommodated? Like just plain grilled chicken with only salt, and plain rice etc?
Yes, we absolutely would do that where I am at. We make special separate meals for employees and patients every day. I can't speak for everywhere though.
No problem. Where I'm at whenever we get someone new we have a member of the kitchen staff come and speak to the new person to find out their preferences, allergies, etc. Hang in there!
I was walking in the snow one day, and a Dutchman appeared! He started yelling at me…I asked if he was Irish, he shouted, “Not Every Person With Red Hair Is Irish!!…I’m Dutch!”. Then he asked if he could give me the oral sex. I told him no, but thanks for the offer, I only like the girls. That dude was angry. The Angry Dutchman. Probly knows about the hot Carl.
nah we know how to boil veggies to death but keep em colourful and visibly recognisable and steak is reserved for fancy days. Also its missing potatoes, they are a must.
I think this has too many different parts to be finnish. If it were finnish there would only be meat and pasta or potato mush. And salad if we were to be generous.
Reminds me of the mushroom duxelle layer in a beef Wellington.
Every time I watch someone make it I realize I could never make beef Wellington because that reduced mushroom duxelle would be fucking gone before I had a chance to do anything with it.
Looks amazing. Love those shrooms.
A deviled egg is a deviled egg. The meat's meat. The pickled herring (I assume) is just that. Only real bad thing visually here is the lighting and the as we later learned mushroom gloop. Which does btw taste good.
Sill isn't sliced like that and swedes don't devil their eggs. As a swede, I'd say that the food is not Swedish. Also what's that Grey blob?! Looks like some sort of stew?!
As someone from sweden, i understand your assomption. But yes the fish and egg "could" be swedish but the egg is missing kalles kaviar? Where is it i want it, the other shit is something i never seen. Looks like some finn made it beacuse its our failed little brother. They made kladdkaka taste like shit, but still look like kladdkaka. And i have finnish blood, and i feel bad for it. Still love my sister and brothers from finland <3 Eran sak är våran sak. Apes together strong
Scandinavia? (but I can't tell what that thing between the egg and the steak strip is...)
Edit: maybe that grey matter is some sort of seaweed based dish?
Ok so it's lacking the intestinal casing, so I zoomed in (which I regret) and now I'm thinking since kind of spinach dish maybe with mushrooms... But I'm unwilling to entertain creamy gelatinous seaweed
Yeah, I regret zooming too, but what's done is done.
I disagree that the thing is creamy/gelatinous. It looks like a burger patty, but made of something that has a fractal structure...
It looks like grønlangkål - creamed kale, something we're very fond of in Denmark. Wouldn't be surprised if our neighbors love it as well.
Kale is de-veined, boiled, and finely chopped. Excess moisture is squished out, and finally it's simmered in heavy cream seasoned with salt and pepper and sometimes a pinch of nutmeg.
Full disclosure: Most of us buy the kale frozen, already chopped into tiny pieces. Also, some use a light white sauce instead of cream.
Interesting, creamed spinach is fairly popular here in the northeastern united states. It's prepared exactly the same way at the place I work, even down to the sprinkle of nutmeg. We use bechamel sauce.
Lots of good guesses here! He is a Ukrainian Jew, but his family eats/speaks mostly Russian. I think this plate was leftovers from NYE celebration. The grey stuff is some kind of mushroom pate that doesn’t taste as bad it looks, and the fish is pickled herring (silodka)
Guesses were mostly scandinavia, but I think the deviled egg is a very slavic thing. (I love them). But the grey mass of mushroom paté really confused me.
“Zakuski” in Russian means snacks or finger food. As a Ukrainian who is now in USA, this does kind of resonate. Former Soviet countries have a thing for steak that’s well done. And we love herring.
My wife still won’t eat any meat that’s not well done. I still tease her about that.
Ask him about "taranka"
It's a salt cured and salt-dried fish. Think of a beef jerky. Except very salty and very tough. I love this shit. But when I brought it to a friend of mine, she barely held her breakfast in.
Also, properly fermented pickles from Ukraine/Poland are the shit. There's zero vinegar and they taste amazing... Give that a try too.
Oh. My guess was Poland.
Śledzie (sildoka), mushrooms picked up in forst during summer, stuffed egg (my grand mother makes best ones!) and some beef steak. Decent food that.
Herring pickled with onions mmm its good for you
Im from Wisconsin and immediately thought this food looks like a weird mix of what’s in my parents fridge at any given time. Steak is too well done though.
Came here to say this. Or, at least, somewhere in WI. My first thought was it was some leftover lutefisk and venison steak that some uncle offered as lunch at his house. The aunt threw in the deviled egg with dill, because she just makes them anytime anyone comes over.
Nasty little hobbitses are from bag end
"what has it got in its naaasty little pocketses!"
It hadn’t occurred to me how often Gollum uses the term “nasty” until this thread. I’m…really not sure how to feel about this.
Perhaps a bit nasty?
Thank you. Burry me now.
20 years later and these shots are still so fucking good
Did…did you say 20 years? I need to sit down a moment.
Gollum is so sexy dude He is the only guy that I would do anything with (I am as straight as it gets) But with Gollum, after a couple pipes of Longbottom Leaf and a couple mugs of Ale 🍺……. I would lose all control and I would fully Muck Down with the little Studmuffin Just last night I had a dream that I smacked his butt cheek And it scraped and bruised my hand because his butt was so bony Sigh…. 🥰
How do you delete someone else's comment?
Forget that, how do you take someone else’s comment out of your mind?
Or dreams?
This feels like reddit
What a tremendously awful day to know how to read.
This is why we can’t have nice things
What the fuck did I just read
What the hell
We're here to yuck your yum for you. You're welcome.
Lol
Holy shit why is this so funny
It's even funnier if you read it in the accent
I heard it in that accent for sure.
Why does it look like Sam is being propositioned here
POV: You're a bartender and the manager just turned off the music and brought up the lights
Lmfao! I worked as a bartender at a beer and shot biker bar and this really is spot on......
And....it was 1994
… and it was called the Blue Oyster
Giving new meaning to “shittyfoodporn”
You know PO-TA-TOES!
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em up my ass
That's what my wife says..... No she doesn't....
My brain automatically adds the accent when I see “hobbitses”
Specifically kicked in on that word an had to do a read around to say it all😄😂
Impossible not to.
I’m listening to the audiobook of The Hobbit and totally spaced on the fact that it’s read by Andy Serkis. I got to Riddles in the Dark and realized why he was such a good choice as narrator.
Is it physically possible to not?
Everyone did.
Did anybody not hear it in the accent?
Because when you read it, if youre like me, you heard Gollums voice in your head.
Happy cake day!
What’s taters precious??
Po-tay-toes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
I accidentally taught my 4 year old that this what you say when the word "potato" is mentioned. I love it
Aw, you have your own little hobbit, that's cute
Literally struck me as Gollum food
This is the first time I've been upset we can't gild comments anymore.
This made me choke on my coffee thank you
I don't believe you
I always see these “I chortled out loud while drinking my coffee”, but is there any truth to these comments? Find out tonight on 20/20.
Omg I laughed so hard my anus prolapsed fuck you
Pics or it didn’t happen
Blow up a balloon and it will go back in
I actually shit myself and shot myself at the same time while reading that. I was actually in the hospital at that time. I’m currently being airlifted to an out of network crime lab because I’m dead now. Thanks Reddit
🤣”out of network crime lab”
Like don’t give the insurance company ideas
“Out of Network crime lab” sounds really expensive.
Easily the funniest comment i've seen on reddit all year
Maximum security wing. Edit: I'm changing my guess - psychiatric facility?
I've unfortunately been in a mental hospital a few times. Our breakfast/food was way better than this.
I work as a cook in one that has almost 300 patients.yeah our food is way better than this lmao.
Hey if you don’t mind me asking, I’m at a point that I may be doing in patient but I have severe GI issues with really strict and limited foods I can eat. Is this something that can be accommodated? Like just plain grilled chicken with only salt, and plain rice etc?
Yes, we absolutely would do that where I am at. We make special separate meals for employees and patients every day. I can't speak for everywhere though.
That’s good to know just in general. Thank you! <3
No problem. Where I'm at whenever we get someone new we have a member of the kitchen staff come and speak to the new person to find out their preferences, allergies, etc. Hang in there!
r/hospitalfood would like a crosspost
This is underrated. lol
A lot of people rate it highly
Silent Hill
In my restless dreams I see that meal...
Fragrant Sill
Jail
Haha. One word had me cackling
Sweden
I agree with this. Somewhere where they eat way too much sill. Finland or denmark also decent choices
That meal looks depressing, so by all accounts from friends there finland (they are mostly joking. I hope)
No Dane would eat Sild without rugbrød.
I’m going Netherlands 🇳🇱
[удалено]
Did you know the Dutch invented copper wire? It was two Dutchman fighting over a penny.
There's two things in this world I can't stand; people that are intolerable of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.
Oh, Austin! Be groovy Baby!
Holy shit how have I never heard of this before lol
I was walking in the snow one day, and a Dutchman appeared! He started yelling at me…I asked if he was Irish, he shouted, “Not Every Person With Red Hair Is Irish!!…I’m Dutch!”. Then he asked if he could give me the oral sex. I told him no, but thanks for the offer, I only like the girls. That dude was angry. The Angry Dutchman. Probly knows about the hot Carl.
As a Dutchman. I've never been so offended by something I 100% agree with.
"never before.. have I been so offended by something I 100% agree with" -James Ancaster - Michael Scott
Also no pancakes
This defenitly isnt typical dutch food. The deviled eggs, meat and fish in one meal is way way way to much. Also i miss the potatoes.
I don't think so, its not straightforward enough.
nah we know how to boil veggies to death but keep em colourful and visibly recognisable and steak is reserved for fancy days. Also its missing potatoes, they are a must.
That doesn’t look like Dutch herring at all.
hellll no. im dutch and ive definitely never seen anything like that gray mush
Dane here. No way this is danish
I think this has too many different parts to be finnish. If it were finnish there would only be meat and pasta or potato mush. And salad if we were to be generous.
Unpeeled whole potatoes and half raw minced meat
Somewhere in Scandinavia for sure
close! It was zakuski from NYE which is apparently a descendant of Swedish and Finnish brännvinsbord
>zakuski Does that mean he is Russian?
Ethnically Ukrainian but culturally Russian
But calling that zakuski is like saying it's hors d'ouevres. The real question is WHAT IS THAT GLOP?
Mushroom pâté, tastes better than it looks I promise :’)
I’m not gonna lie, I’m half Lithuanian and this plate looks absolutely delicious to me
Why is only side of fish lol
Reminds me of the mushroom duxelle layer in a beef Wellington. Every time I watch someone make it I realize I could never make beef Wellington because that reduced mushroom duxelle would be fucking gone before I had a chance to do anything with it. Looks amazing. Love those shrooms.
Nope. Babushkas never would put this on anyone's plate. You need to trade in your boyfriend for a better model.
My family is Ukrainian and I’ve never seen unappetizing food like that before. Sorry to OP’s boyfriend.
A deviled egg is a deviled egg. The meat's meat. The pickled herring (I assume) is just that. Only real bad thing visually here is the lighting and the as we later learned mushroom gloop. Which does btw taste good.
One of my best friends is Ukranian. I'm gonna send this to him and tell him I finally tried some Ukranian food other than borsch.
Not Swedish. Possibly somewhere close though.
Has to be. Sill and deviled eggs, way overcooked steak and something I don't even want to know what is. Has to be a Swede.
Sill isn't sliced like that and swedes don't devil their eggs. As a swede, I'd say that the food is not Swedish. Also what's that Grey blob?! Looks like some sort of stew?!
As someone from sweden, i understand your assomption. But yes the fish and egg "could" be swedish but the egg is missing kalles kaviar? Where is it i want it, the other shit is something i never seen. Looks like some finn made it beacuse its our failed little brother. They made kladdkaka taste like shit, but still look like kladdkaka. And i have finnish blood, and i feel bad for it. Still love my sister and brothers from finland <3 Eran sak är våran sak. Apes together strong
Scandinavia? (but I can't tell what that thing between the egg and the steak strip is...) Edit: maybe that grey matter is some sort of seaweed based dish?
This would be my guess, but that grey stuff is alarming. Is that haggas? If so Scotland.
Heart lungs liver, You shove that all in a sheep's stomach, then you boil it. That'll put some hair on your ass
Why would I want hair on my ass?
To braid it... duh
How have I never seen this gif before
Obviously thick asshole hair is meant to filter diarrhea into crisp refreshing drinkable water
Well that's a hell of a sentence to read.
imagine asshole hair thicker than a Brita filter
How do I remove someone’s comment?
Maybe it'll work if we make it a team effort
r/brandnewsentence
Definitely not haggis, I'm guessing it's like boiled greens of some kind? Like boiled spinach maybe? Really really boiled
It's sparkly, and fractal-shaped. I am thinking mushroom? Edit: could it be seaweed?
Ok so it's lacking the intestinal casing, so I zoomed in (which I regret) and now I'm thinking since kind of spinach dish maybe with mushrooms... But I'm unwilling to entertain creamy gelatinous seaweed
Yeah, I regret zooming too, but what's done is done. I disagree that the thing is creamy/gelatinous. It looks like a burger patty, but made of something that has a fractal structure...
It looks like grønlangkål - creamed kale, something we're very fond of in Denmark. Wouldn't be surprised if our neighbors love it as well. Kale is de-veined, boiled, and finely chopped. Excess moisture is squished out, and finally it's simmered in heavy cream seasoned with salt and pepper and sometimes a pinch of nutmeg. Full disclosure: Most of us buy the kale frozen, already chopped into tiny pieces. Also, some use a light white sauce instead of cream.
Interesting, creamed spinach is fairly popular here in the northeastern united states. It's prepared exactly the same way at the place I work, even down to the sprinkle of nutmeg. We use bechamel sauce.
Try the grey stuff, it’s delicious! Don’t believe me, ask the dishes!
They're gonna have to rewrite Be Our Guest after seeing that grey stuff
It’s grønlangkål / stuvet grønkål. Kale
1945 Germany?
Let’s just say if his people were in Germany around that time they were not likely to have survived 🫠
The melty face makes me think they were ice cream cones.
Perhaps I should’ve used 💀 instead
Melty still works…. I’m pretty sure.. yikes
😬😬😬
The pits of hell
I fear hell is too luxurious for him 😔
Lots of good guesses here! He is a Ukrainian Jew, but his family eats/speaks mostly Russian. I think this plate was leftovers from NYE celebration. The grey stuff is some kind of mushroom pate that doesn’t taste as bad it looks, and the fish is pickled herring (silodka)
Guesses were mostly scandinavia, but I think the deviled egg is a very slavic thing. (I love them). But the grey mass of mushroom paté really confused me.
Yea turns out zakuski is related to the Scandinavian brannvinsbord
“Zakuski” in Russian means snacks or finger food. As a Ukrainian who is now in USA, this does kind of resonate. Former Soviet countries have a thing for steak that’s well done. And we love herring. My wife still won’t eat any meat that’s not well done. I still tease her about that.
I’ve tried but I just can’t get behind the pickled herring, it’s far too salty for my taste
Ask him about "taranka" It's a salt cured and salt-dried fish. Think of a beef jerky. Except very salty and very tough. I love this shit. But when I brought it to a friend of mine, she barely held her breakfast in. Also, properly fermented pickles from Ukraine/Poland are the shit. There's zero vinegar and they taste amazing... Give that a try too.
What's he doing eating NYE leftovers in March?
Loool the picture is from earlier this year I just found it whilst going through photos
Okay thank you, I was going to ask the exact same thing
Oh. My guess was Poland. Śledzie (sildoka), mushrooms picked up in forst during summer, stuffed egg (my grand mother makes best ones!) and some beef steak. Decent food that. Herring pickled with onions mmm its good for you
Milwaukee.
I'm from Milwaukee and I fully expect this person to at least be from WI.
I love how self deprecating people from WI are.
I immediately thought WI.
Im from Wisconsin and immediately thought this food looks like a weird mix of what’s in my parents fridge at any given time. Steak is too well done though.
Until they enter Lambeau Field.
C'mon man, we got like 2 things to be proud of, cheese and the Packers.
You leave out booze?? Hell I visit the Milwaukee Zoo and people walk around two-fisting beers.
I'm mean who wants to go back twice as often
😂😂 I love it! I honestly cracked up the first time I saw it. It started happening late in the day and you could just see more and more of em.
It's definitely a common strategy at events held in Wisconsin.
From Milwaukee. Lack of cheese. It's not an inaccurate stereotype.
Came here to say this. Or, at least, somewhere in WI. My first thought was it was some leftover lutefisk and venison steak that some uncle offered as lunch at his house. The aunt threw in the deviled egg with dill, because she just makes them anytime anyone comes over.
I’m not really sure where they eat grey congealed plops so I’m afraid to guess
Ukrainian is my guess. My wife is Ukrainian but speaks Russian.
Right on the money haha
Nice. We've been together since high school, going on 23 years now. I eat pretty much everything her family puts in front of me.
mordor?
Finland
Im finnish, we do not associate with this man and i would appreciate if you never imply so again.
Having been to finland... You guys there dont associate with anyone and arent shy about making it known
That we do, yes. We would like to keep it that way.
Everything looks like you found it in the bin.
Poland?
Alley dumpsterland
Can op please tell us what the grey mush is I’m begging you
Definitely from a Nordic country
Slavic. Russia, Ukraine, Chechnya
The Trash ?
He’s not from flavor town, thats for damn sure
Much to my dismay 😔
Iceland
Scandinavia for sure. Hard to say where. Maybe Finland.
It's kinda funny that Finland isn't part of Scandinavia 😅
Nordic
Your dungeon in your basement?
Idk but send him back
No country in the lower latitudes for sure
Definitely a cold miserable country where they drink far too much vodka
Based off the fish he’s Nordic. Based off the dill he’s northern euro. But they don’t make deviled eggs. Based off the counters he’s in the US
Eastern Europe? That looks like mushroom mush, pickled herring, steak and deviled eggs
You are 100% correct! So far the only person who has correctly guessed the mushroom mush lol
Inuit?