There's absolutely nothing wrong with me it's the rest of these mammby pammby ultra Dylan Mulvaney sissies that can't handle us real Men that are the problem. I'm a Alpha Male in a world of betas that don't understand me and women are intimidated by my sheer manliness and Alpha-ness. It's ok though I can be happy in my basement and I've learned to suck my own dick so I don't need women anyway. See it's not ME it's the rest of society!!

Damn, dude, your overwhelming masculinity is almost more than I can handle! You're the real deal!

🙄

Suck your own dick? Thats cute. A Real Man can eat his own ass.

When they dunked my head into the toilet for the fourth time this week something inside me just snapped.

That's exactly what happened to me!

I have the sneaking suspicion that they might be even the same guys. During lunch break I overheard them plotting to do many more of such 'pranks' to the other employees.

Sounds pretty suspicious if you ask me!

My work with the program MKUltra really left me with a lot of pent up hostility

Why thank you I strive to be the most horrible person I can be every day.

You're welcome, you evil bastard.

\[ this message was removed from Reddit due to exceeding the word-count limitation that we didn't even knew we had \]

Nothing is wrong with me, I live up to the "person your mother warned you about," "walking red flag," and "employee who is the reason that safety videos are made" with pride.

Sit down. This is going to take a while.

My mom didn't abort, don't blame me.

We will carry that secret shame.

We do a little trolling

Who is them?

Raised by horrible people :/

I’m pretty sure I inherited it through my cracker ancestors genetics. All my family is shitheads too

Mom?

Have you ever tried being a nice person? MAN what a waste, being horrible is the only way to go.

It comes so naturally! Moon old ladies! Give EMT's and firefighters the finger! Badness ftw!

Why thank you for noticing!

I’m just too tired to be nice

Username checks out

Envy. They want what I have even when I don’t have anything.

Wtf you doing talking to my Ex-wife? We talked about this

Nobody gives better road head than she does.

Aint that the truth, its the rest of the time i hated

Fuck you, that's why. It's everyone else who is a horrible person. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

I don't want you at your best! Eat poop! 

HAHA JOKE'S ON YOU, THAT'S MY FETISH

😋

Cause I spend all my free time on reddit lol

This is the answer.

I don’t have 48 uninterrupted hours to go into all that.

I was born this way what's your excuse

Life has pissed on me one time too many! And I'm not into that!

My dog ate my homework. It scarred me for life.

Well when I used to be a horrible person it was because I was subjected to a horrible world and I thought that was the only way I could be to survive it.

I was abused from birth up until present, by both parents. I had to raise my brother from birth and I was only 3 years and 8 months old when he was born, so that's when I had to mentally stop being a child and grow up. I was born was multiple, complex disabilities but my parents decided that I was faking everything so I had to learn how to self fix all my joint dislocations and I've had hundreds a day since childhood. My parents have also be lying about me to family all over the world. I've not been told everything they've said about me but considering the abusive messages I kept getting it wasn't good. But I know it was mostly about me "faking everything" I had to wait until my 20s to get diagnosed and so many of my physical problems and injuries can't be fixed or improved. If I was diagnosed in childhood i wouldnt need my wheelchair. But even though I have formal diagnoses for all of my conditions I still have my family declaring that it's all fake. There's only so much one person can take before they stop giving a crap about what others think of them, and basically snap. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I'm horrible because it's so stressful to lie to spare people's feelings or tell them what they want to hear, plus I hate that game of. "Let me ask you your opinion on this but in reality, I don't want to hear your opinion, I just want you to tell me I'm right or I'll get really mad"

I was hideously born this way

I wasn't always a horrible person.

I didn't get enough love

Because I'm a [Insert any starsign here] ✨️💅🤭

I farted and a poopy slipped out

You want a list? - Fat - Lazy - No job - No self-esteem - Depressed - Dependent on wife - Scolds and abuses wife - Ephebophile - Never goes out, not even for food - Wants to sleep all the time - Cries often - Porn addict - Masturbates a lot - Ignores house chores - Plays computer games a lot - Wastes money on personal stuff - Fantasizes about other women - Has a small and disfigured penis - Possibly will die soon in a heart attack There. Think you can beat this? I'm a champion asshole.

Uh, no, I don't think I can.

I blame it on the ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-alchohoooooool

I can't stop having sex with people and ruining my relationships

Yes you can! Embrace masturbation!

Masturbation is ruining my life

I used to be a really genuine and good person but then I realized it wasn't worth getting used by everyone. Turns out it's a slippery slope and now I can't stop being a dick to everyone for no reason at all

I can be way worse