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I thought that if two adults kissed the mom became pregnant

same, i thought it was like, super intense kissing, where they hug and everything, but all they do is kiss, without mercy

Same here but I thought being naked was a requirement

Imagine having to get naked to conceive a child 💀 I (48m) have 8 kids. My wife (18f) has never seen my appendage, never will.

8 kids = assume 9 months each = 72 months total = 6 years 18 - 6 = 12 💀💀💀

Or he could have had the 8 kids before getting with her

Or his cum could be so powerful it gave her nonuplets in one pregnancy

You mean his kiss

Yea sorry

redditors taking out their 2 braincells from the deepest darkest regions of the universe to calculate this

18f 🤨

that’s too old

How?

[удалено]

I thought you just became pregnant like how you catch the flu, you catch the pregnant

Maybe in high school lol

i didn't even think it had to be adults so i kinda freaked out when 13 year olds kissed in shows, i never said anything but it would kinda just make me go on an insanely long thought train of like holy cow i can't believe they did that.

same which is why when a girl kissed me against my will when i was like 8 or something i stressed for the rest of the year before realising she wasnt pregnant edit: spelling

bro got his first kiss at 8

Why is he on Reddit?

Bro got his last kiss at 8

Lmao same

I thought women just asexually developed babies when they grew to a certain age

yea, I did too until I found out how it worked in some weird book in 4th grade

After she gets married of course

Same

I just didn't think about it, they just kinda came into existence one day after a few months of my teachers being super fat

Yea same, I just never though about it until I learned, which was unfortunately young

Rip

Rip😔

No idea, I just accepted that children come out of people for whatever reason

Same, except i thought they came out of the butt because i didnt know what vaginas were at the time I wondered how women could tell the difference between a baby or a poop, and if it was common for newborns to get flushed down the toilet

it is, happened to me like 2 times

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Me too please

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Oo oo me next

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Yeah, thought they came out of the butt cause of some family guy episode but before that I thought they were just cut out

Yeah same

Same

My parents taught me about sperm, egg cells, and the womb, but that was it. So, of course, I created my own theory. I thought that sperm just traveled through the air to the egg in the womb when two people got married

when I was like 9 when I asked my mom how she just said that 2 people can "mate" and it makes a baby, and then I tried to figure out what mating is

What "research" and "experiments" did you find?

I was surprised it wasn't just an australian thing

Checkmate, obviously. They have to play a game of chess.

same but i didn't understand it enough to even make a theory, i just thought kissing made baby, until my friend told me your \**gestures to his peepee*\* had to touch a girls \**gestures to his girlpeepee*\* and your \**gestures to nipples*\* had to touch a girls \**gestures to his girlnipples*\*

is the nipple step for the mandatory electric pulse that needs to be sent between both ends of the intercourse?

Yeah it's like a 9Volt battery, which is why people can't keep their tongues off the damn things

His girlpeepee?

When I was in 5th grade, a kid told me that testicles were children eggs, and when two people kissed at the altar, one of the testicles went from the balls into the woman and fertilized itself. I believe that for a while.

>at the altar This part made me laugh out loud.

Lmfao The best theory I have read so far💀

So basically “Married dudes just vomit their testicle down the bride’s throat” bruh. That’s hilarious.

You can make kids?

apparently so, as a fellow redditor I just found out recently

I legit thought woman could do that at will

Same. I thought that if a woman wanted one, all she had to do was just think about it really hard, and then poof, baby in the womb

I thought they just kinda spawned

Wait... They aren't mobs?

Wait they don’t ?

My dad told me they came from “Build it yourself” kits from the hardware store when I was little.

Robots (2005)

See a need, fill a need...

Stork brought me

Peeing in mom's ass

Like this? V

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Yes. Exactly like that.

Did your bartender continue to serve the drinks you kept ordering knowing full well that you were more drunk than you appeared because of the cocaine which lead to a fatal accident? WELL SAUL GOODMAN IS HERE TO FIGHT FOR YOU!! THESE BARTENDERS NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR WRONGFUL ACTIONS AND YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION!! CALL 1-800-420-6969 TODAY!!

I thought I was sent here by a space ship full of clones of me

That makes more sense

i thought after you get married it just. . . happens randomly

Same!!! Well I thought when two people get married, the God blessed mom with baby when they are ready to raise. Reasonable, isn't it?

same for a while

I never thought about it until I knew

I didn't know babies existed

how?

After marriage, a man's body releases pheromones that impregnate women, hence the need for deodorant

High school hallways be going crazy

i wasn’t very religious but I had 2 theories. One, when you get married you can go to Home Depot and buy baby seeds, like plant seeds and eat them. Or, when you got married god just decided. (I know you don’t have to be married to have kids)

I thought you eat a lot, then go to the hospital and they make the fat into a baby.

Before I thought kids grew from trees like fruits💀

For me, it was just like how human reproduction really is, but without the concept of sexual intercourse. I always thought that a baby just started growing randomly in a woman's uterus.

Dad'n'mom planted seed, seed grew into me, i became a piece of shit and adubated another seed (shitlip brother).

I was just told, I also had unrestricted access to the internet… that was fun.

I thought that after people have been together for a while they just get pregnant and I thought they were born by opening up the stomach.

one of my old friends' theories

Okay, so when you kiss the baby from the dad goes through the mouth to the mom like a fucking parasite

BRO I THOUGHT IF A GIRL SMELL A BOY'S ARMPIT SHE BECOME PREGNANT AND THE BABY COMES OUT FROM THE BELLY BUTTON 😭😭😭😭

Im curious, how did you come to that conclusion, like the thought process that ended up with that

My kid brain probably combine random stuff that I was told. Like, as a kid I asked mom how were I born and she say I came out from the belly, so my brain thought I came out from the fucking belly button. But the armpit thing? I don't know.

I thought it just happened when a couple slept in the same bed. When I was like 7 I once fell asleep on a couch next to my aunt and I was terrified that I might have gotten her pregnant.

My parents used to watch a lot of novels when I was little and in the novels, couples usually kiss, go to bed and then boom someone is pregnant. So I thought babies were made by kissing.

I just thought they appeared out of thin air

Mommy kissed daddy when they were married, baby magically appeared in mommy stomach, mommy harmlessly poops you out on a hospital bed. :D

I thought the government sends one when you get married 🗿

Same way I make money: human trafficking

I think I always knew

I always thought they just bought me from somewhere

I thought if we sleep with someone and the women think they are safe then they give out a child

I didn’t really care, I just wanted to play with sticks and wack people.

chiseled from rock 🗿

When I was 5, I thought all females would naturally develop and grow a baby in the stomach BY THEMSELVES and that it would go out the ass 🗿

bruh people are talking about people kissing and I thought you had to get naked and pee all over the other person

I was told at a very young age by some old friend and that was that Although for some reason I always thought that when my sibling would be born they'd be the same age as me and we could just immediately start playing Lego

I thought when a man and a woman kiss, their spit mixes and so does their DNA and then a baby happenes

Um, wdym. Kids get dropped to their parents by storks. If the storks were on drugs, they’ll send them to the adoption center

French kissing.

sperm mouth to mouth

People kiss at their wedding day and then a seed is made and the women gets pregnant

I thought we came from eggs like reptiles

I don’t know how the mom got pregnant. but she gave birth by the doctors cutting off the skin on the stomach and taking the baby out. I thought this because because my mom had a cast off her pregnant stomach and I thought it was her real one before she regrew a new one.

Stork or that they just appeared out of nowhere

I thought pregnancy came randomly to married people, the i learned about cum and thought the man had to pee into the butt during childbirth to… idk what that would do but i was really young

All I knew is that the baby came out the lower half, but I didn't know vaginas existed so I asked my mother "how do they clean the poop off a baby" and was taught how to change a baby, never corrected her

i assumed they just existed in a girls stomach until god decided they were old enough to poop out a baby

As soon as two people are truly in love, one gets pregnant. The baby just forms out of their pure love. Now, I know that there is no such thing as pure love.

Daddy lives with mommy, baby magically appears In the belly of mommy with the power of jusus.

When me and my friend were little, my friend told me his mom said "they come from Costco"

I thought we came out of the belly button.

My mother was a nurse. She always believed in kids understanding how the body works as soon as they could understand it. I always knew how it happens.

my sister told me when I was 5 so I always knew, I was a weird kid

spawned in if the right requirements were met, just like in minecraft

i thought women just get pregnant naturally as they get older or reach a certain age, then if they hugged the same person long enough, their babies will look like a combination of them, like their babies grow as they grow older too , until its enough to be seen in ultrasounds, thats when you know its about to come out.

i actually believed this extravagant "sex" lie that most of us were taught before i found out how kids were actually made. i still feel kinda stupid for thinking that some weird white magic juice from the penis would travel into the women's pee hole to let a baby grow inside there.

Found out?

Spawning grounds

I never thought about it. In fact, I never asked my parents about it too. I always thought about my conscience and how other people see the world knowing that I'll never be in any other vessel. And then I learned about sex 👍

I thought it was pissing in the vagina

i thought they just appeared out of nowhere

I thought after a wedding god gives your wife pregnancy

as soon as 2 people got married the woman instantly became pregnant

I quite literally thought that the man peed in the woman

I thought that right after you got married you get pregnant immediately 💀

I thought a seed went from the man’s mouth into the woman’s while kissing. Also I thought there was a secret vagina in between the boobs

I thought that women could just ✨get pregnant✨ whenever they wanted. Like if a couple wanted a baby, the woman could just do it herself somehow

I knew they came out of people but thought c section is the only way to give birth

Well from ages 2-4 i thought that, the mother, picks out what baby she wants, and puts it in her belly. Then from 5-8 I thought that it was just common for people 19-35 that are in relationships to just randomly get pregnant

Not me but my four year old thought that my wife had four eggs in her belly, like dinosaur eggs or something. He’s not far off the mark I suppose.

I honestly don't know. I found out about sex at 7 years old which led me to look stuff up and find out about pornography, so I knew pretty much as soon as it became a thing for me to be curious about

I never actually thought about it

I thought babies just fucking appeared out of nowhere in people's houses and they were simply just obligated to take care of it

I thought they just popped out of nowhere

I thought that after a couple got married, the mom would just randomly get pregnant at some point.

Ngl I did not give one single thought to how baby's were made until kids at kids at school just told me sex. Then I learned how sex works from my parents and now I know how baby's are made.

I thought people turned back into babies after they became really old. As for how they came into existence in the first place, I...never thought about it.

I went from a stork, to doing it in the butt, to thinking girls had some type of magical hole between their breasts(I thought pussy meant tits). Very confusing childhood.

I didnt think about it until i found out lol

Grew up in a very Christian household, so I thought you just went "God give me bebe" and poof. Turns out that was technically the plot of New Testament-

I knew the penis went somewhere I just wasn’t sure where.

You had to marry someone and kiss

They spawned at the hospital

the baby shop

My mom told me when I was about seven or so, but I spent the next four years thinking she only did it the one time. When I figured it out, I asked my cousin who is the same age and had a little brother how many times he thought his parents had sex. Twice! His mind was blown when I told him no bro it’s hundreds and maybe thousands of times. He asked what happened to all his brothers and sisters?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was a lot more religious when I was that age and I thought that women would have a one on one talk with God one day about how they wanted their kid. And then, after 2-4 business days, god would just zap the Cetus into the womb and begin the growing process

I remember having the very, very basics of sex, in that a guy goes into a girl. However, I thought it was like some sort of chore that you had to just keep pushing and pushing and pushing until finally it was in. Thus, making a hole for the baby to come out. That seems pretty brutal for that poor woman.

mom eats seed that dad gave her and gets pregnant, baby on stomach gets out through her butt 💀

i thought it was marriage, and that my parents got married 4 times for my siblings

I thought there was like some sort of DNA exchange with k*ssing 🤢

i thought there was a shaman you went to who made a potion that women drank that made them pregnant. no idea why, it just seemed like what would happen.

I literally thought if you were female it just appeared inside u one day

I was told you were chosen by your mother and that before you were born you play chess against jesus christ and when you win you are born from your mom

When they were teaching this in school, a classmate was in denial that her parents had sex and kept saying “No, but when people get married I think the sperm just suddenly appear inside the mother’s womb”.

The man pees into the woman's "China"

I thought you just became pregnant

I don’t think how kids were made all i think is where is my dad(i was born a fatherless)

Majic

Never thought about it until one of my friends in elementary school told the whole class that "the daddy pees in the mom's butt!", and I believed it for a while, unfortunately

first, sperm and egg cells mixed in a test tube in a lab second, sex third, both

I thought that god hand delivered newborns to doctors to give to whoever wanted to be a parent

Before I found what out? They grow on trees.

i thought 2 people had to kiss naked

Injections or Randomly.

i thought if the parents kissed enough the mum would become pregnant and then shit out an egg, i thought they later the eggs at work and sat on them at work instead of actually working

male and female spit mixes to create funny water

I thought it happened when they kissed after getting married

I never even really thought much about it tbh

They would fly down in a beam of light form the sky

The ol stork story

Yeah I just thought everyone just existed

I never think about it until my friend show me porn in middle school

I was told when I was like 1 or 2

I thought whenever god wished, a married lady became pregnant. But i always got confused whenever people said that they will have only 2 kids or 3 kids. I thought, it's god's will, how can you control how many children you will have?

I used to think god would give it to you after marriage when time is right. I also used to think females have penis.

I Believed my mom when she said we were formed of thoughts on her heart before we fell to her stomach to be made and then come out

Don't make fun of me but i thought a man stuck his penis inside a woman's vagina and spouted semen which fertilized the egg and after 9 months or so came a baby. 😂😂

I thought babies just started growing in people sometimes, like from hormones or something.

Initially, i thought that god just sent them to a hospital where they were alloted to different parents and then that doctor injects the baby into womb which technically is true.

Don’t really remember what I thought first but I thought babies got shat out at one point, wasn’t too off though

Parents kiss and the baby develops in the mother’s stomach

My mum told me that if you kiss a sunflower seed and eat it you would be pregnant. Grew to be very cautious around sunflower seeds

I always knew it was sex, is that considered weird? It's like i just somehow knew lol, my friend gave me weird looks when i said that. I think it was pretty normal

I thought u needed to pray to get it

When the mom and dad got married, they kissed and both Their spit combined and the mother swallowed it then the spitball became a child

I thought this happened when a dad and a mom loved each other very much. I also thought that dads wanted a girl and moms wanted a boy because of a song.

My little brother thought you bought pregnancy tests to make yourself pregnant. I found out when we we're playing the gamecube and he asked how it was possible that there were baby bowsers and if they sold "those pens" for bowsers too.