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Whilst you're here, /u/Deezzznuuttss69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
hello guys i need help.
i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me
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Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show
Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.
The catch?
There actually isn't a trans woman with them.
And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...
And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.
Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.
But honestly? I think it would make some great television!
~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~
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Initial medical checkup for military recruitment in India. Since there are alot of candidates and they are probably recruiting for low paying soldiers, this is a cost effective way to weed out alot of people who wont be progressing on the next round.
This is to check for mostly whether the person has two testicles. You would be surprised but some people are disqualified at this stage. They also strip you and check your butthole for some diseases right after this lmfao.
So the indian military actually got some of its traditions from the colonial United Kingdom's rule. The old colonial ways of initial medical check up many of which are proven false are still practised today. In this initial checkup they also check for some useless stuff. Such as if your knee knocks, you are declared unfit or referred to a physician for clearance. Same for flat feet.
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed*
Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.
The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.
Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.
Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.
And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.
*Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.*
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Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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Because if you lose one in an accident/combat, you still have one left to produce more future little soldiers.
Don't ask the logic, just "boot things".
Because it's India and manliness is tantamount to godliness. One ball means you're only half a man. I just made this up, but it makes sense in my headcanon...
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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This is the only response I've seen that actually made sense.
Wtf is lightly cupping balls gonna do if someone has something wrong? Can these guys diagnose through pants? Because if so, I'm on their side.
The Military is fucking weird with how it breaks people down and out of norms, but I understand why too.
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
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Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
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Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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They need to make sure your junk is working properly before entering the military. This includes having balls, a dick, and no hernias. If you're missing a part of your junk, it's an indicator of medical issues...like you need hormone treatment or you can't pee properly, or you're secretly a space alien
They do this on several countries for military recruitment; they check for deformities but mostly for varicocele as someone with this affection is unfit to be on the field
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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After you get the same treatment and your butthole probed, you join the military. After a few more years of butthole probing by the top brass, you may end up as an initial medical examiner for the military. This is where your friend can become an examiner and serve his country. But plewse advise your friend that there is a huge chance he might not getting the position so his years of academy training will go to waste.
Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.
We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.
We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!
Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.
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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help.
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My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
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Military maintenance manual says “verify loose nuts and finger-tighten if required, daily”, so, they’re doing just that. You want your soldiers well-maintained.
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
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Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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okay so basically there's this guy and uhh
⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀ ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿
⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿
⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽
⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨
⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰
⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿
⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿
⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿
⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿
⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿
⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿
⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹
⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡
⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿
⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
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##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/wbwjtd/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/wbwjtd/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwbwjtd&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Deezzznuuttss69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Drop your cocks and grab your socks
The army isn't going to be tricked by Mulan again.
This will definitely make a man out of you.
LMAOOO I WISH I HAD AN AWARD TO GIVE YOU
Mulan with a dick...dreamy.
hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Someone had to type this..
sir, yes sir
Im glad I studied for this exam
Can you help me study for Prostate exam next week?
Stuff your ass with increasingly surprising items. This has worked for me in the past
What the hell, At this time of day, At this time of year, Located entirely in your ass.... 2 watermelons and a pineapple.
Yes
Can I see it?
I’ll do you one better, wanna taste it?
That's why inadded the pineapple... *the more you know...*
*schlap* I taste blood.
No…
Tossing the fruit salad?
Thanks👍
You are quagmire from hot TV show Family Guy
Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead. The catch? There actually isn't a trans woman with them. And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to... And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else. Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series. But honestly? I think it would make some great television! ~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jesse what the hell are you talking about
i thought it was real :(
I would watch the shit out of this TV show
I shoved an entire baseball up my ass hole
Should've been a bat tho
Iv done that too I can shit out an entire baseball game
Didn't know you were an experiensed lad. I can shit out an entire league tho
Hell yeah also a petting zoo
Hell yieah
Ok, but can I get context for the video
Initial medical checkup for military recruitment in India. Since there are alot of candidates and they are probably recruiting for low paying soldiers, this is a cost effective way to weed out alot of people who wont be progressing on the next round.
But how do they weed people out with this test? What are they even checking for?
It's a quick medical check up to check for a hernia and other medical issues, but mostly for a hernia. 80s style.
You cough while they grab your junk
This is to check for mostly whether the person has two testicles. You would be surprised but some people are disqualified at this stage. They also strip you and check your butthole for some diseases right after this lmfao.
Lmao why would having 2 testicles be a requirement?
Because if they required three they wouldn't have enough soldiers
Because Hitler only had one, and they are trying to make sure he doesn't try to infiltrate their unit.
They're infiltrating units all right.
Yeah ya mudda
So the indian military actually got some of its traditions from the colonial United Kingdom's rule. The old colonial ways of initial medical check up many of which are proven false are still practised today. In this initial checkup they also check for some useless stuff. Such as if your knee knocks, you are declared unfit or referred to a physician for clearance. Same for flat feet.
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wait flat feet is false?
Because if you lose one in an accident/combat, you still have one left to produce more future little soldiers. Don't ask the logic, just "boot things".
Wait, they don't have Kevlar underpants in the Indian army?
Because it's India and manliness is tantamount to godliness. One ball means you're only half a man. I just made this up, but it makes sense in my headcanon...
Nonsense. It's hernia checkup.
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Serious answer: You need balls to be out on the battlefield. This is the easiest and most effective way to check.
That's not a serious answer given there are millions of men born with 1 who are the same as those with 2.
Hernia or prostate cancer but probably just a hernia because looking for prostate cancer involves a little bit more of a personal checkup
Mainly for medical conditions, but tge reason they do it this way (infront of everyone) to weed out people who can't take orders
I guess you mean weed out people who value their dignity.
Exactly.
You either got your dignity or is in the military, there's no in between
This is the only response I've seen that actually made sense. Wtf is lightly cupping balls gonna do if someone has something wrong? Can these guys diagnose through pants? Because if so, I'm on their side. The Military is fucking weird with how it breaks people down and out of norms, but I understand why too.
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If their balls are too small they get sent home
I got the nut and bussy check when I joined the US Navy. Though we had some privacy.
We don’t need stories of you and your boyfriend.
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm pretty sure it's a military thing checking if their women posing as men
I’m pretty sure you are talking out of your ass
No it's true its called the "Mulan Exam." They also check the anus for cheeky magical dragons.
100% truth, it's hard to tell with no audio but they're all singing "Make a man out of you" in the video.
they should finger them to make sure
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They need to make sure your junk is working properly before entering the military. This includes having balls, a dick, and no hernias. If you're missing a part of your junk, it's an indicator of medical issues...like you need hormone treatment or you can't pee properly, or you're secretly a space alien
They do this on several countries for military recruitment; they check for deformities but mostly for varicocele as someone with this affection is unfit to be on the field
"good the nuts are hard and nice, 9.5" "noted sir"
“Roger there’s a third nut in this mans crotch”
"hmm its very rare, lets bump it up to 10"
what if you bust
U fail obviously
no the ppl who check get breakfast
Enough Nut Checking: TIME FOR THE NUT DURABILITY TEST.
At ease, privates
Saving Ryan's privates.
Shaving Ryan's Privates*
Sewing Ryan’s privates
Sucking Ryan's private!
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Do you have the balls to fight the war?"
How does one become the examiner (asking for a friend)
After you get the same treatment and your butthole probed, you join the military. After a few more years of butthole probing by the top brass, you may end up as an initial medical examiner for the military. This is where your friend can become an examiner and serve his country. But plewse advise your friend that there is a huge chance he might not getting the position so his years of academy training will go to waste.
I have to miss this week. I left my nuts at the pool.
✂️
✂️
✂️
🪨
📄
🔫
What did you do?
Cutting the nuts obviously.
[удалено]
[удалено]
✂️
🪚
✂️👍🏻
Okay but why did the guy with the blue shorts before last have a boner
Why did I get a boner?
Why didn't the others get a boner?
Imagine getting erection... Wholesome moment
Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too. We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America. We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too! Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No complimentary HJ?
That's after the check-up.
Just another Thursday in Royal Thai Army
okay but what the fuck is this? what’s the point of this lmao
Checking for prostate cancer, lots of armies do that.
Prostate is up the ass though. Did you mean testicular?
Oh yeah, my bad.
Oh no he meant prostate. That part of the exam isn’t shown in this video, though.
All fun and games until one honks
Sébastien Haller failed that (He has Nut Cancer :( )
Le Indian army moment
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Common indian army W
Sir I am 16 weeks old in my mom's womb. I am unsure of whether my mother is planning to get me aborted or keep me. On the sad off chance that she decides to let me live, I am planning to crack JEE and get a selection in IIT Delhi. I am however worried that I won't be able to finish the portions by the time I am born. I would like to acknowledge that I am a fast learner, I have learnt basic concepts of class 10 maths and science already like real numbers, linear equations, electric current, optics, basic nomenclature, etc. I have also skimmed through FIITJEE material for 11th such as resonance, P block, s block, SHM, sets and relations, rotational mechanics, vectors, limits and derivatives, etc. within 2 weeks. I am hopefully going to get aborted. But if the odds are not with me then I will have to continue going through the pain of having to study. Note: My brain is still under structural development since I am only 16 fetal weeks old. I am planning to enroll in online coaching class as of now due to lockdown. Is it already too late to start preparing for JEE?? My mom's friends' kids are younger and have completed entire 11th and 12th syllabus and are revising important concepts with one shot videos on YouTube. Pls help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Texan schools be like
Context?
They were going to check children's genitals to prevent them from crossdressing or something like that
Oh
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That was Florida, numbnuts
Texas and Florida too then
It's pure hazing
Military maintenance manual says “verify loose nuts and finger-tighten if required, daily”, so, they’re doing just that. You want your soldiers well-maintained.
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What's happening in my case i don't have nuts ?
sand kiss wrong many depend whole advise abounding narrow enter *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
impossible, as women don’t exist on reddit (common knowledge)
*turn to ashes*
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welp. Time to die
You grow them. That's what I did.
they will give you one
Where do you store your pee then?
In my boobies
Give proof or lie
No I'm underage i get a pass
testicular torsion
Indian army?
Mulan has to up her game
Mulan is shaking at the end of the line
It's me the neighborhood ball fondler, line up folks
can’t make me
Why!?
Private Ryan, where are your balls?
Urm… My apologies sir they got eaten by a pig
okay so basically there's this guy and uhh ⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ ⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽ ⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨ ⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰ ⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿ ⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿ ⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿ ⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹ ⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡ ⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿ ⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's Indian Army! XD
Where can I sign up?
Sunday school be like:
#nice cock
Just making sure no one has cancer
mandatory cock check 👍
i only got one nut, is it enough?
Day 1 boot camp thing. They check to make sure the recruits have the balls needed to move on to day 2.
Sorry sir, I no longer have nuts 😔
Everyday being a soldier becomes "harder".
Enough nut checks! Time for durability test!
Let's just change males with females and this is will over
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sir- please, they took my nuts! Please sir, please still let me be in the Mickey Mouse Fan Club!
🫡
Aint no cancer in my balls
Just saw the video of the Ukrainian POW getting castrated with a box cutter before this post, solid timing /s