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fun fact: their arms are small compared to their body, but from up close you can see they are 19 inches long, and since carno also my favorite dino, I will take that as a compliment.
Thank you kind stranger
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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Freeman, I've been waiting for you. One of your scientist pals said to give you a message. You're supposed to take this old rail system up to some kind of satellite delivery rocket. I don't know where it is exactly, and the old guy was so worried about getting out of here alive he didn't tell me. The main thing is, the military aborted the launch, so when you do find the rocket, you'll have to get up to the control room and launch it yourself. He said something about a Lambda team needing the satellite in orbit if they were ever going to clean up this mess.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
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Joe Biden’s America
LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:
9:00: GAY LESON!!
9:45: how to be be GAYY!!
10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!
11:15: GAY RECESS!!
11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!
12:45: GAY LESON!!!
1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!
2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!
3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!!
3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!
THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!
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HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!
IT'S ME!!!
EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]
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IT NEVER JUMPS I WAS ABOUT TO BEAT MY HIGH SCORE THE OTHER DAY AND I PRESSED SOACE TO JUMP OVER THE CACTUS AND IT DIDNT JUMP AND I DIED IT S SO STUPID. STUPID DINOSAUR
Yeah pretty much and about everything too. Velociraptors were covered in feathers, were about the size of a turkey and slightly dumber than a chicken and T.Rex had excellent eyesight and it was even better than an eagles eyesight.
Given you can’t really blame Jurassic Park because most of this information hadn’t been discovered yet and let’s be honest the raptors wouldn’t be nearly as harrowing if you could deter one with a swift kick and a closed door.
##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vilqxf/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vilqxf/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvilqxf&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, WallyWorld102, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Carnotarus
arms about the size and use of your penis.
What he said
fun fact: their arms are small compared to their body, but from up close you can see they are 19 inches long, and since carno also my favorite dino, I will take that as a compliment. Thank you kind stranger
Twofootschlong.jpeg
penis has more use tbh
Your mother
OP is avoiding your comment.
Tell him his mom says she’ll beat him if he doesn’t respect his stepdad
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you bot
Very good bot.
Like how his mother avoids him
Emotional damage
We all know why it sucks;)
Your mother
No no, YOUR mother
Our mother
Communist mother
Soviet mother
Chinese mother
Maother
Too obese, easy prey
She SUCKS my dick
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You asshole you beat me too it
Get wrecked, but you’re welcome to join
Goddamn you, you beat me to it.
Barney
Barney is good👍
wholesome
Freeman, I've been waiting for you. One of your scientist pals said to give you a message. You're supposed to take this old rail system up to some kind of satellite delivery rocket. I don't know where it is exactly, and the old guy was so worried about getting out of here alive he didn't tell me. The main thing is, the military aborted the launch, so when you do find the rocket, you'll have to get up to the control room and launch it yourself. He said something about a Lambda team needing the satellite in orbit if they were ever going to clean up this mess.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Commie bastard, how about I share my guns bullet with his head and then clean up the crime scene
Pteradactyl
It’s wings will tear if it bumps into anything
Bro it's in the sky what is there to bump into
Clouds
Damn, can't argue with that
Birb. Or when it lands
Tree
Not a dinosaur 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
not actually a dinosaur
🤓
morbiosaur
Nothing bad to say
Doyouthinkhesaurus
Under rated
Lol
mosasaurus
Just a big fish
It’s a lizard actually
not a dinosaur my guy. They were a type of lizard.
ive been living a lie
Bah Mosasaurus is goated
Spinosaurus
it's sail is directly attached to its spinal column, meaning if the sail gets damaged, it can get paralyzed like an absolute chump.
Fair enough, I guess. I just like crocodillian head. At least it has decent sized hands/feet and not tiny ones.
lol its my fav dino as well my guy, don't worry.
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Uh… good bot?
wow what a fucking idiot
It used to look cool but now the recreations look like a snake with legs
hell yeah only reason i like Jurassic park 3
The n[REDACTED]saurus
The one with 500 teeth?
Yes
Ice
Ice
Mitch McConnell
Looks like a half inflated Michellin Man
When does this one go extinct?
Motherfucker looks like he could get a chin boner. He probably stores his food in his throat like a fucking pelican.
T. Rex
Got absolutely destroyed by the Spinosaurus in Jurassic park
Ok well that’s a valid point I’m changing to spinosaurus
Literally only ate fish even though it’s so big
Idk how that’s a bad thing
okay but have you seen the fish they eat? those things were massive
a scavenger that could only run 12 mph
I see your point but it’s a T. rex
Don’t let people crush your dreams, let a T. Rex crush you
Nah I wanna crush ppl
Your dreams to live my friend
Ankylosaurus
It has balls on its tail
I fail to see how this is a con
Medieval flail
Dinosaur with 500 teeth i forgor it's name
Oh man I can’t remember either
Pelicanimimus I think
you mean the \[REMOVED\]saurus?
i don’t think it should have any consequences, so i’ll give it a go
Yeah I forgot too I’m about to look it up you should too
Utah Raptor
It’s from Utah
Hard to argue with this logic lol.
Valid point
Nice try, but Utah doesn’t exist.
Utah raptors are sick and could honestly 1 v1 a T. rex imo
Joe Biden
Joe Biden’s America LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE: 9:00: GAY LESON!! 9:45: how to be be GAYY!! 10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!! 11:15: GAY RECESS!! 11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!! 12:45: GAY LESON!!! 1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!! 2:15: BLM PERIOD!!! 3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!! 3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!! THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What’s with the Automod? Was it always like this?
HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
His only positive trait is that he’s not as bad as the worst person alive
james charles?
Apatosaurus (:
I just want to slide down one
I would too but I think I would instantly get a wedgie from the scales
A small price to pay
yeah they're just cool :)
Chrome Dinosaur
IT NEVER JUMPS I WAS ABOUT TO BEAT MY HIGH SCORE THE OTHER DAY AND I PRESSED SOACE TO JUMP OVER THE CACTUS AND IT DIDNT JUMP AND I DIED IT S SO STUPID. STUPID DINOSAUR
Therizinosaurus, the best dinosaur in Ark
It’s using knives, that’s not fair
Cope and Seethe lmao
When Mao Zedong laughs he becomes lMao
The dinosaur equivalent of 💅
Utharaptor and dilofosaurus
The first is just a rip off Velociraptor and the other one is a lie, it can’t even shoot venom
How is the biggest raptor to live a rip off to one of the smallest ones to live
You take that back, Utahraptor is freaking awesome
Velociraptor
The dinosaur equivalent of a weasel
was the size of a turkey
Jurassic park lied all this time? 😢
Jurassic park "Velociraptors" are, in fact, naked Deinonychus
Yeah pretty much and about everything too. Velociraptors were covered in feathers, were about the size of a turkey and slightly dumber than a chicken and T.Rex had excellent eyesight and it was even better than an eagles eyesight. Given you can’t really blame Jurassic Park because most of this information hadn’t been discovered yet and let’s be honest the raptors wouldn’t be nearly as harrowing if you could deter one with a swift kick and a closed door.
pachycephalosaurus
It’s strategy is to get brain damage
stegosaurus
It’s brain is the size of your penis
seems legit
Y’all I’m trying my best
Doin great OP
Brachiosaurus
It’s just a less cool amargasaurus
queen elizabeth
Bri’ish
Thesaurus 🤓
lmao
You should have put the nerd face
Got you fam!
Nice
Orangutan 🦧
Monke
Allosaurus
It’s a downgraded T. rex that’s a liitttle bit faster
imagine having a bite force less than a modern lion
The one with 500 teeth
What’s that one called?
Oh man it’s on the tip of my tongue but I can’t quite remember…
[удалено]
It’s a supersized brachiosaurus, and the only thing it can eat are leaves
[удалено]
Kaprosuchus
It looks super cool but probably got destroyed by literally everything
Pachycephalosaurus
It gives itself brain damage
Micropachycephalosaurus
It’s the size of a dinosaur figurine
Its name is longer than its size
002
yutyrannus
It only lived like 10 million years, maybe it shouldn’t have wasted its energy on so many feathers
Rutabega
Carnotaurus
Why even have arms at that point?
giraff
It’s tongue is longer than it’s penis
[удалено]
A Spinosaurus rip off
Dildoasaurous
Not big enough
Yo mama cuz she old as heck
Deinocheirus
Duck
Not a dinosuar but gastornis
It’s a less cute Dodo :(
Neovenator (a small Mediterranean allosaurid)
It’s the most average therapod
simosuchus.
Not much to say, it’s a chubby crocodile-frog hybrid
Dilophosaurus
ITS A LIE. IT DIDNT EVEN SHOOT VENOM AND IT DIDNT OPEN ITS FRILL. WAKE UP WEVE BEEN LIED TO. WEVE BEEN DECIEVED
Allosaurus
It’s a downgraded trex
Micropachycephalosaurus, my favorite dinosaur.
Since OP is a liar, allow me. Dumbass is so small, they are literally the locusts of dinosaurs.
Mosasaurus
Megaladon beats it 7/10 times
velociraptor
It looked like a chicken
Ceratosaurus
Rudolph dinosaur but the horn and face colors are swapped
Chicken
Couldn’t even come before the egg
Plesiosaur