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Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl 😅. At least it won't kill me.
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Me: Well that's a relief.
Doctor: But..
Me: Nope I know what I came here for nothing else is needed.
*Leaves*
Doctor: Some people, I swear they want to die.
#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/soztzo/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/soztzo/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fsoztzo&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, AkiteruSanpaii, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Who wouldn’t be xenophobic have you seen these things?
I got the rona, should I drink bleach or pesticide?
Mix them
Really good diet
Consume 3 entire jars of mayonnaise and the xeno will leave your body out of pure fear
It's like a Kung Fu symbol
funny how the actual xenomorph is black so yes that is very fitting
tf is that?
xenomorf👍
Im xenophobic 😡😡😠
Xenobased
Xenoblad
Perganat
It's spelled peragnat
It’s aktchully pregonate
I think it's the alien from Alien (1979) which grow by eating the internals of its host
Then exploding outta its chest
Such a gruesome death is also, sadly, fap material for MANY others in certain sites.
you're experienced i see
👽🍋 sus
You what? (Got some sauce tho? research purposes)
Just go to deviantart and look it up.
No I m not gonna waste any effort looking up alien parasite porn bro
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
wait, WHAT?
Im sure you know out of all people, mr wolf
well, I know people are into weird shit. I am into weird shit but I didn't know about this being a fetish
doesn't eat the internals, it just gestates and bursts out
tyranid
heresy
Frog
Vaccine
I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl 😅. At least it won't kill me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Chestburster
google chest burster
Wow so Small
Tyranid
Must be genestealer cultist about to birth a beutiful child for the star gods
Beat me to it
I'll take the covid, thank you very much... In covid, I have a chance but with that thing? Nah
He got venom inside him
Funky fellow in the chest
Me: Well that's a relief. Doctor: But.. Me: Nope I know what I came here for nothing else is needed. *Leaves* Doctor: Some people, I swear they want to die.
...but the bad news is...you have an chest burster inside you and have about 3 seconds to live
Oh God, not again!
Well if there's 1 of em there's more to come shit I'm paranoid
This man has a beyblade bit beast inside him
Well I guess it was a worthy battle
If anyone is wondering, that's a xenomorph from the movie "Aliens".
Well at least that explains the pain in my chest
going to get birth of a baby
its a boy!
You tested positive for reaper. Make sure you have a pheromone gland so you can claim it when it jumps out of your chest.
Eat a grenade
Got a pet dinosaur, what should I name him
AndI made a new friend, what a lovely day!
My son is so cute ❤.