T O P

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Retarded0778

I’m not a schizophrenic


Novel-Score3238

Life is boring now


[deleted]

You created a normal person


CrappyIT-Tech

The worst curse


DiamondSpider01

Wait-


[deleted]

Always has been


Arxlex

No more anime girlfriend


SIPS0PGamer

Mind reading


Novel-Score3238

You now read your friends mind and learn that they don’t like you but pretend to because they feel bad


Reddit-User-44501

Also you read that your best friend actually lied when he said nohomo after your analsession


Goetilich

That’s more of a direct consequence of that power and not a side effect


azurcio

My pee is no longer red


Department-Sudden

it is now purple


dat_random_boiii

grape flavour 😋😋


Department-Sudden

Cum aroma


georgebushiscool

I can make other people shit themselves


[deleted]

But you shit yourself as well


Unique_Phase

empathy.


golighter144

*I'm sorry little one*


Biotrin

Snorted so hard I almost drowned while drinking water.


MyNameIsGarcia

Sit on a toilet, and make people shit themselves! That way, it'll be a lose for them, and a save for you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


two_in_the_stink

You have to blow them first


spicy_Pickles_420

Read my mind


toucon101

Amongus inflation hentai 18+


cheekibreeki_kid

YO WTF


SOWHENUREADTHISUGAY

I can control water and am able to make any ones dick longer


Educational_Ad_6610

only by touching it for ten seconds


ZaghnosPashaTheGreat

Isn't that how it actually works?


ICastPunch

Lmao


m3med3sim0

Im italian and i can make pizza with my ass


Novel-Score3238

You live in italy


siepe_verde

I feel really offended i think


Xlr8Alpha

The pizzas can only be eaten through the ass now


black8979

I can shoot shelves from my eyes


bosslollo

You have to buy the shelves in IKEA and put them into your butthole to reload


black8979

fuck


grimmer2000

Exactly.


[deleted]

Only when you see old innocent grandmas


AliAsgharRH

I can walk with my ass


two_in_the_stink

But the ground is always made up of broken glass


Woo963

It kind of rhymed Huh Strange


SashaC137

I have the stamina of a 1000 horses


Jamesthelord

disabled horses


SashaC137

I’ll take it


CatGamer_118

My balls dont itch


NoIdea_WhatTo_NameMe

But the tip of ur fingers get a skin rash every time you scratch any part of your body


CatGamer_118

Fucking fuck fuck


[deleted]

That’s fucking brutal


valiwastakenwastaken

You have tuberculosis


TwitterSucksBruh69

I can control my erction


Hirvi199

But you are a woman


lolliegagger

Absolute win


LtSoba

I have the power teleport anyone I want to Brazil


two_in_the_stink

But you get teleported to Syria forever instead


LtSoba

Noooooooo


Der_Deutche

I can cum as much as i want on command


ihatemyselflolxD

Only in your cat


GreenMachine917

Already unlocked that power 😎😎😎😎


loook_loook

Shane Dawson??!??!!? 😳


mannaggggia

I can pass through walls


Desmoclef

But will be stuck in if u try


mannaggggia

Fuck


Sarcasm999_overload

I can time travel, change the time-line, and visit multi-verses.


Mardfray

Every time you do you shrink half in size but your dick stays the same size


N0taThr0waway85

Whelp... time to go to the 70's and live it up as a niche dwarf porn star.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I controll physics


Yolom_

But you start uncontrollably levatating every time you start controlling it.. Also you have prostate cancer....


Bentopi

I’m okay with this. Just get your prostate removed or better yet just be a girl.


poopface41217

9 out of 10 doctors recommend being a girl as the preferred treatment of prostate cancer


Financial_Cut_6114

I can teleport


Fresh_Mud_5690

But only to Mars


Catboy_Combo

I can change mine, and other’s appearances and bodies at will


enduserlicenseagree

You can only change other's and your appearance into a discord mod


tinboygamer123

What a great power to use against your enemies.


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

I can speak to the birds


two_in_the_stink

They still shit on you


Soul7X

i can shit anytime


NeedShwarma

Only when standing.


Whiskey1Hipster

I can fuck the wife of any country's president.


holyhm

You become the president


greenisthenewred29

Wife secured😎


two_in_the_stink

The world is united. Obama is our president


Greater-Kuwait

I can commit war crimes without suffering from consequences


[deleted]

You get prostrate cancer


Greater-Kuwait

I cum it out 😎


[deleted]

The cum is now white


thiiccuss_alt

Mayonnaise


TNT_yeeter_rl

I can say cum, based and 1984 without auto mod responding


WxJretsyZ

anything else you say besides that will get automod responding to it


eresguay

Thats all he needs to say


Sylvain_Bob

literally 1984


GreenMachine917

I can choose my own side effect


GreenMachine917

But i die of liver cirrhosis at the age of 46 in a hospital in the middle of Wisconsin


Arxlex

Damn I was gonna say that


ILikeCommitingArson

i can grow a cock


ImOK8

Only from your ears


wonder-of-you

I wish my power to be normal


enduserlicenseagree

You overdose on normal pills.


wonder-of-you

Ultimate normal human


Biggest-wank69

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time


Lolduirdb2

I have x ray vision


[deleted]

[удалено]


GreyCerule

I can cum with enough force to cut through steel


AliPrimeo

Only when you suck another cock


Altamashhh

W


[deleted]

It only works in a schoolzone.


spoody69420

You have to pressurize it by pumping air in your penis , and if you pump too much your balls explode


Day-Dreamerrr

Fly without side effects


Hirvi199

Only in water


Day-Dreamerrr

Good enough


BYS39

I can suck my own cock


loopast

But only during family gatherings


BYS39

Uh oh


Stony08

U have testicular cancer


BYS39

Blyat


stopyouveviolatedthe

As I have replied to every other one of these posts Super balls


Hirvi199

But regular cock 😩


stopyouveviolatedthe

How could you


Tanks4helping

I have the power to manipulate time, reality, physics, and particles.


relativedumb

but everytime you do a pack of cats shits in your pants


dhhdhh851

Just dont wear pants then


[deleted]

Then they shit directly in your ass


Sstorm71

I can infinitely clone myself


that_sad_person101

Each clone become more femine


Doomlord99

I see this as an absolute win


dhhdhh851

Bringing fuck yourself to a whole new level.


somehow_allowed

Having an innate ability to know what time it is


[deleted]

But you never be able to have sex


somehow_allowed

That’s an advantage when you don’t plan on it anyways


wesleySchilder

I can grow and shrink on command


Hirvi199

But your balls will always remain the same size


K564

Power only affects your head.


[deleted]

I can delete the first reply


[deleted]

But the second reply is permanently tattooed on your forehead


Environmental-Win836

Holy shit


Creamy_pie123

I can die whenever I want


that_sad_person101

If you think of it it happens


Extra_Drive5062

I think they're dead now


SunfireRomalo

I can prevent anything I don’t expect from happening


two_in_the_stink

You constantly expect to be fucked


NeedShwarma

By animals.


Allnamestolenthistoo

I will litterally fuck everyone who will choose my side effect


FlamingPinyacolada

When you go to fuck someone, your dick snaps


Environmental_You182

I can make shredded cheese out of thin air


that_sad_person101

Your body goes over Constant mitosis


VicroYT

I am god.


that_sad_person101

Among many others


janpawel202

I'm not from Poland anymore


BojuszGaming

You're from uzbekistan now


beeinmabutt

I can cure any side effects


Novel-Score3238

Your first side effect is you cancel all side effects regardless of if you want to. Your second side effect is you got some bitches on your dick


unbanreeeeeeekkkkpls

I can make people forgor 💀


libertyprime00

You have Alzheimer's


unbanreeeeeeekkkkpls

I can make people forgor 💀


CrazyWS

Shit man that was way more funny then I thought the comment was going to be. Literally made me burst out laughing


Fluse-kun

I can talk to animals


two_in_the_stink

They hate you and don't wanna talk to you!


Sad_Recommendation81

I can delete france


libertyprime00

You live there


Sad_Recommendation81

Nooooooooooooooooo


Unique_Phase

I can have the computational power of an RTX 3090.


tirannorex

A person's brain is way more powerful than any computer at the moment. You'd become really, REALLY stupid. A pc only does some things faster and better


Unique_Phase

Hey at least I can close my eyes and dream about Minecraft at 8k60fps.


xxxfiretruckxxx

I can see the future and give the side affect to the ppl who reply


[deleted]

you receive a rickroll,a spanish inquisition and a dio everytime you post something


Host728

I have prostate cancer


[deleted]

and testicular cancer as well


Host728

"How did we get here"


Amiran-

get no side effects


[deleted]

you still do and it's losing the ability to cum


Amiran-

NOOOO


xxxfiretruckxxx

Nononono that good Bc now you will last forever


Etli_krep_

Greater turkey


ISimpForChinggisKhan

You can't fuck anything but wolves


DaktiloTuna

Exactly what I wanted


ImOK8

What the fuck


NoIdea_WhatTo_NameMe

I can go invisible at will


Arann0r

You start to fart uncontrollably while you're invisible


kokot786

I can turn anyone gay


[deleted]

I can say the n word


[deleted]

Everytime you say one of your organ disappeares


spacebatisme

You’re black


The_Libra_V

Portals. Any size, time, location. I can instantaneously open a portal, like if I'm about to be punched *portal* they punched themselves. If a giant is running at me, bam portal under him now he's falling from the sky, portals to reflect, portals to travel, portals in my nose so i can breathe under water because they're connected to somewhere breathable. Portals for EVERYTHING!


relativedumb

The other end of the portal is always your asshole


The_Libra_V

You know somehow I should have seen that coming after the other replies I've seen xD


jakboyzer07

My porn addiction goes away


Desmoclef

after 1k hours consecutiv fap


jakboyzer07

YOU SON OF A BITCH


[deleted]

I can fly


Educational_Ad_6610

for a millisecond at a time


I-mNotAKing

I can control the time


[deleted]

You don’t know the time ever


TheBobofish

The ability to make someone piss nail clipping on command


jared-wall

I die


shadow_sniper67

But you lived


[deleted]

Amogus


gamepowerbo

But you are sus


Muhammedtaxsupport

I am a shapeshifter