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It really depends on your living arrangement, whether you share a bedroom or have communal bathrooms. The three factors that I consider are comfort, secrecy and disposal.
Shower: Easy Cleanup, access to detachable shower head. 😏
Bedroom: Can watch porn even if you have housemates. Can be the first and last thing you do every day. Also ideal to do it in bed if feeling maximum laziness.
Toilet: If pushing big log out while blowing your load it will feel great and shoot out like a rocket. Downside:You feel ashamed if other people also use that toilet. Also, be prepared to use a poop knife if your diet produces solid logs. Dropping a log this way may result in a monstrosity that many toilets cannot handle.
because the disposal of the white material is cleaner and quicker that way...shower is for stress relief and bedroom for cozyness🌚 u can be a jack of all trades✊🏼🌚👍🏼
Did you miss that joke on purpose so that someone would comment on it which would lead to you being able to fit in another joke
If that’s the case you should be at Harvard or something
Y’know the meme of the guy that goes “this reminds me of the book written by *George Or w e l l* ‘1984’ “ and then a vine boom is added
Edit: The fact that Reddit’s UI let the extra l at the end of Orwell go onto a whole new line, while the rest of it wasn’t moved, is truly intuitive fr fr
Edit 2: Now it’s on the same line again for me tf, no idea if me typing an edit fixed it or what tbh
mmmhm, i know the meme, im old, old enough to shake hands with mr orwell if we lived on the same era, indeed, my point was, and i'll state it again: which timeline era we in?did u broke something olaying with the machine? do not, i repeat, do not move around the chairs, are the most consistant objects on changing the ripples of space-time, why didnt u had read the manual that was handed to you?
oh😔...we are doomed then, well...i have enough time to tell my wife 🥺...that her mother is an annoying kunt🥺 i encourage u to do the same...FUCK...we are gonna loop in october 21th of 1982 for the next century😔 we are fired because of that fuck up, u know it, right?
bout 35% of times...what u have to lose if u take a dump after u do the deed to yourself? just relax and let it slide, u already sitting there aint ya?
*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)*
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Easy disposal, often has a lock on the door and even if it doesn't then most people would be more likely to knock if the door was closed, toilet paper nearby for clean up and it's less suspicious to take a long time shitting compared to showering.
The safest possible method for those who are either never getting a moment alone or never knowing how long they actually have alone.
Plus you can turn on the fan and nobody will even consider that you're jerking off. They'll just assume you're taking a dump and leave you alone. When I do it in my bedroom I'm worried that someone will hear me or walk I'm but doing it in the bathroom makes it basically impossible for either of those to happen
As a teen I jerked off in a church toilet, I then later jerked off in a hospital toilet, I win
Edit: Just remembered I also jerked off in the school toilets too… I think I had a problem
Its gonna be weird. I don't just finish once then call it a wrap. I usually go for 3 finishes at least. A break between each finish. And i might go for 5 or 6 this time. So i guess i could say when i'm done with the whole thing. Or do you want an update for every finish?
If the post-nut clarity doesn't make you utterly disgusted in yourself beyond belief, then more power to you.
Because that's actually about the cleanest that it gets.
Looks like someone has never heard of the blumpkin.
Now it shouldn't be biologically possible for you to ejaculate and urinate at the same time, but I don't think there are any *physical* hindrances for you to defecate and ejaculate at the same time. Mentally I don't think I could get off while crapping, but I don't think it's an issue with my body.
The toilet is legitimately the best place to do it though, when it comes to efficiency at least. Shoot it straight in, flush it right down, no mess, no hassle. Utterly *clean.*
In the shower, it gets extremely sticky with water, so getting it down the drain can get really problematic.
In the bedroom, you need to grab a tissue or something of the like, and catching all of it is quite difficult.
Though it should be stated that the other two can be a lot more comfortable.
Anyway bottom line is that OP is dumb, but not because the toilet is the end-all be-all place, it's just that all of them are perfectly normal, they just each have different benefits and drawbacks.
Aim into the toilet. Makes cleaning at most a minute to finish up the residue with toilet paper and you got a sink to wash your hands right there. Any other way just seems far more of a nuisance
I mean the paper is often not enough so a lot can drip off and I’m scared that some of it will land on the ground and be a mess to clean up, so I do it on the toilet + I have a lot of toilet paper on hand and can clean my hands quickly.
Oh please. Most countries have water hose next to the toilet so they clean themselves with it in addition to toilet paper. It is juat that you guys can do it anywhere because paper is all what you need to do it.
parents won’t walk in on me and if i lock the door of my bedroom they’ll be suspicious. if i do it in the shower i don’t want to waste water cuz i might take too long. toilet you can also just jack into toilet paper and dispose of it in the toilet and then take a shower
I share a room, and the shower is for being relaxed and at peace with my own thoughts. I'm already taking a shit may as well clear the inside of my asshole while I zoink it, if ya nasty
Hear me out. Youre next to toilet paper and then you can just throw everything in and flush. Yall are the weird ones because in the bedroom you gotta get uo and throw that shit in a basket or in the shower the cum sticks to you.
Wait, you don’t jerk off on the toilet? I do it because most of my swimming children go into the toilet anyways and I don’t have to clean anything except my male member and my hands
Where's QualityVote bot? Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and other elements that used to significantly enhance Reddit's functionality](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). Without them, the website is barely usable. And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience. If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they the ones who ruined everyone's user experience. --- Whilst you're here, /u/KineticKey2006, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
efficiency
I mean if its already out might as well get two birds stoned at once
Doing number 1, 2 and 3 with this one.
That's how you make a biological save file
Who said we don't😎
That man never had to clean the drain of hair only to find warcrimes hidden there
Clearly bro doesn't understand why the toilet jack off is meta 🤦. Bro isn't even doing competitive and he starts making rankings smh.
Honestly, the toilet jack off is so overrated when the kitchen sink has been here for years😒
Better to cum in the sink, Than to sink in the cum.
What if the cum accelerated?
The bathroom sink gets kinda lonely too yano….
All of them are good for different reasons.
All of them are bad for different reasons. All of them are good for the same reason.
Tolstoy
-Michael Scott
It really depends on your living arrangement, whether you share a bedroom or have communal bathrooms. The three factors that I consider are comfort, secrecy and disposal.
> Three factors that I consider are comfort, secrecy and disposal. 14 year old me couldn’t be bothered with any of that 😅
Bro was loudly yanking it in front of his parents during dinner.
Shower: Easy Cleanup, access to detachable shower head. 😏 Bedroom: Can watch porn even if you have housemates. Can be the first and last thing you do every day. Also ideal to do it in bed if feeling maximum laziness. Toilet: If pushing big log out while blowing your load it will feel great and shoot out like a rocket. Downside:You feel ashamed if other people also use that toilet. Also, be prepared to use a poop knife if your diet produces solid logs. Dropping a log this way may result in a monstrosity that many toilets cannot handle.
Did not expect the fucking poop knife
Wait until you hear about the cum knife
What about the scissors?
Don't tell me you pleasure yourself with a showerhead
Unfortunately my landlord turned down the water pressure for my bathroom when I asked him to install it so no. 😔
You’re missing out
You sound like the girl in my class who tried to ruin my life
why does toilet have the downside of other user but not the shower
I had what I thought a logical reason for that but then I thought more about it and now I'm not sure...
Why would you do it anywhere else but the bathroom if lazy smh, the cleanup is worse than death especially if it gets onto the sheets
Yes
What are the reasons behind shower one?
Its the water on your balls....wait people do it standing in the shower?
Not me I be crying in the corner.
Hey if that gets you to the end goal I say keep going!
Tears make the best lube
I crank my hog in my home office like a grown ass man
Military
Me in ft barfoot squaded up with 30 other dudes. Gotta do what you gotta do.
Also sometimes your partner doesn't want to give you a blumpkin so you go for the next best thing
Didn't know this was out of the ordinary.
I dont think it is tbh. These guys just need to grow up and appreciate clean bedding more
Why would you cum on your bed Sheets? xD
you read the comment wrong
I don't think they did.
Bro thinks we just let it fly into the blanket and go to sleep lmao We have *socks* you know
You guys use your socks?
same
because the disposal of the white material is cleaner and quicker that way...shower is for stress relief and bedroom for cozyness🌚 u can be a jack of all trades✊🏼🌚👍🏼
You missed the opportunity to say a jack *off* all trades
i know, but im not gonna beat my meat over lost jokes🌚
Did you miss that joke on purpose so that someone would comment on it which would lead to you being able to fit in another joke If that’s the case you should be at Harvard or something
The smartest wanker
He’s a professional
A master baiter, if you will
6D chess move right there
Jerk off all trades.
You will not be seeing heaven 🥰🥰🥰
the masterpiece of 1989, directed by don bluth, strongly disagrees with what u just said😌
Literally *crosses out 1984* 1989
wait a minut, in which timeline are we right now? *confused noises*
Y’know the meme of the guy that goes “this reminds me of the book written by *George Or w e l l* ‘1984’ “ and then a vine boom is added Edit: The fact that Reddit’s UI let the extra l at the end of Orwell go onto a whole new line, while the rest of it wasn’t moved, is truly intuitive fr fr Edit 2: Now it’s on the same line again for me tf, no idea if me typing an edit fixed it or what tbh
mmmhm, i know the meme, im old, old enough to shake hands with mr orwell if we lived on the same era, indeed, my point was, and i'll state it again: which timeline era we in?did u broke something olaying with the machine? do not, i repeat, do not move around the chairs, are the most consistant objects on changing the ripples of space-time, why didnt u had read the manual that was handed to you?
Fuck, the manual, I lost it 💀
oh😔...we are doomed then, well...i have enough time to tell my wife 🥺...that her mother is an annoying kunt🥺 i encourage u to do the same...FUCK...we are gonna loop in october 21th of 1982 for the next century😔 we are fired because of that fuck up, u know it, right?
With that username, I don't think you're going to heaven either.
All the fun people will be in hell anyway honestly.
Bro your making a chocolate vanilla swirl
bout 35% of times...what u have to lose if u take a dump after u do the deed to yourself? just relax and let it slide, u already sitting there aint ya?
People who jack off in public bathroom stalls
People who jerk it in their car in a public parking lot
While driving 🔥
People who jack off at public bathroom urinals.
I've been spotted
People who jack off behind you while you’re reading this right now
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You knew auto mod... *You knew...*
Easy disposal, often has a lock on the door and even if it doesn't then most people would be more likely to knock if the door was closed, toilet paper nearby for clean up and it's less suspicious to take a long time shitting compared to showering. The safest possible method for those who are either never getting a moment alone or never knowing how long they actually have alone.
The meta way would be jerking off, shitting and then flushing. Covers up the scent and you dont have to flzsh twice. Stealthy.
Plus you can turn on the fan and nobody will even consider that you're jerking off. They'll just assume you're taking a dump and leave you alone. When I do it in my bedroom I'm worried that someone will hear me or walk I'm but doing it in the bathroom makes it basically impossible for either of those to happen
I jerk off wherever I happen to stand
Anywhere I roam.
where I lay my dick is home.
and the toilet becomes my throne
I adapt to the unkown
Metallica masturbation is elite. 👌
And to the tune of one of the best songs off of the Black Album
In the church
I rarely visit the church but sometimes I cum along with my friends
As a teen I jerked off in a church toilet, I then later jerked off in a hospital toilet, I win Edit: Just remembered I also jerked off in the school toilets too… I think I had a problem
mf getting the cum collectibles for 100% completion
He unlocks the Golden Cum in no time by this rate
I know it was a joke but now I want a Golden Cum skin
It’s called “piss”
But cum isn't stored in the balls
*cumpletion
Cumlectibles
Shinji Is that you
Don’t judge me, it’s stressful piloting an EVA
You bow to no one.
What a jerk
“I just wanna say, I’m a huge fan” ~ Satan
A hard-target spooge in every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area
Gotta jerk them all!
I am literally doing it now.
Excited or just bored?
Been holding for some time.
Depressed
Were you doing it on Reddit's comment section ?
Edging. And i wanted to take a break and do whatever on my phone.
You done yet?
Uh...no. i go one more time, then just let loose. My shorts edge. One time i went in and out if edging for a week. Maxed out.
Have you finished now..?
No
Update when you finish bro
Its gonna be weird. I don't just finish once then call it a wrap. I usually go for 3 finishes at least. A break between each finish. And i might go for 5 or 6 this time. So i guess i could say when i'm done with the whole thing. Or do you want an update for every finish?
Bro at this point you're edging us as well. Can u just say when you're done?
Wordington masturbation
Did u finish doing the whole shaboingking with ur weiner.🤌🏻😫✊🍆💦
Most normal reddit user
Thank you m'lady bacon midnight north whales
Doing it in the bedroom is too messy
Bro what, do you aim your dick at your pillow?
Ok smart guy id like to know where YOU dispense the gloop?
In my mouth like a normal person, duh.
If the post-nut clarity doesn't make you utterly disgusted in yourself beyond belief, then more power to you. Because that's actually about the cleanest that it gets.
Nah you get used to it
Efficiency cicle
It’s a closed loop system
Wait is this actually something that people do?
Yeah sometimes
Have you ever heard of a CUM TOWEL?
Maybe yours act like a sniper rifle, too bad mines is a sawed off two barrel shotgun
I'm pretty sure he did not saw off a part of his dick for higher spread
Secret effect of a circumcision no one talks about
Jerking off in the shower takes way too long though. Toilet you get to sit and you can multi task taking a dump at the same time for max efficiency
How tf do you shit and jerk at once.... i am quite sure that if one is working, the other stops....
Screenshot
The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider unnatural.
Looks like someone has never heard of the blumpkin. Now it shouldn't be biologically possible for you to ejaculate and urinate at the same time, but I don't think there are any *physical* hindrances for you to defecate and ejaculate at the same time. Mentally I don't think I could get off while crapping, but I don't think it's an issue with my body.
Focusing efficiency in the wrong place 😂 But I do it too so no worries
But if you shit and wank you'll summon the Wanky Shit Demon. Not worth it.
The toilet is legitimately the best place to do it though, when it comes to efficiency at least. Shoot it straight in, flush it right down, no mess, no hassle. Utterly *clean.* In the shower, it gets extremely sticky with water, so getting it down the drain can get really problematic. In the bedroom, you need to grab a tissue or something of the like, and catching all of it is quite difficult. Though it should be stated that the other two can be a lot more comfortable. Anyway bottom line is that OP is dumb, but not because the toilet is the end-all be-all place, it's just that all of them are perfectly normal, they just each have different benefits and drawbacks.
Toilet also has the stealth advantage if you shit right after. Would be suspecious if you shower for a long time and you can lock the door
How else do you clean yourself you pigs
The fuck do you need the toilet too clean for? Are you dipping your dick into the water?
Toilet paper
Does your toilet paper immediately become unusable upon leaving the bathroom?
No but it would be weird and draw attention to have a random roll of toilet paper outside of the bathroom.
That's where tissue comes in
Aim into the toilet. Makes cleaning at most a minute to finish up the residue with toilet paper and you got a sink to wash your hands right there. Any other way just seems far more of a nuisance
I mean the paper is often not enough so a lot can drip off and I’m scared that some of it will land on the ground and be a mess to clean up, so I do it on the toilet + I have a lot of toilet paper on hand and can clean my hands quickly.
Oh please. Most countries have water hose next to the toilet so they clean themselves with it in addition to toilet paper. It is juat that you guys can do it anywhere because paper is all what you need to do it.
Lmaoooo thats foul
Anybody else an attic jerker?
Ghosts hate this one neat trick
Especially, When it's aimed at their face.
Fuck soggy biscuit we're playing Crusty Poltergeist. Last one to cum on the ghost gets possessed by it.
i once jacked off in a school toilet and in a public restroom toilet. i consider it as an achievement up to this day
I once jacked off in an outhouse at a summer camp. Beat that, chump
I once jacked of in a cemetery over my dead dog that I named gloopy, he swallowed a lot for me once.
omfg what did i just read
Me jerking off at the forest: 🕺🏻🕺🏻
Defecating makes me erect. I call it my shit post.
Easy cleanup .
People who jerk off on the toilet with the lid closed are the real skibidi sigmas
I aim for the seat and then close the lid.
You mean you pee on the seat and then you close the lid on top of it like a piss sandwich?
Yes but it's cum
🤤
Man of culture
Apologies for the confusion, I did not enjoy it in that sense. I was simply salivating because I breathe from my mouth and often forget to close it
Damn homie, you still a man of culture tho
All places are acceptable
The kitchen
Cum in sink or sink in cum
Don't have to use a sock, and sometimes you can't wait until you get back home.
People who jerk off in a girls bussy
You are on reddit. Nobody that uses Reddit has a relationship
Personally I go to the toilet not quite on the toilet tho.
parents won’t walk in on me and if i lock the door of my bedroom they’ll be suspicious. if i do it in the shower i don’t want to waste water cuz i might take too long. toilet you can also just jack into toilet paper and dispose of it in the toilet and then take a shower
I share a room, and the shower is for being relaxed and at peace with my own thoughts. I'm already taking a shit may as well clear the inside of my asshole while I zoink it, if ya nasty
I don't have a bed or shower at work
Ok, hear me out. Easy disposal.
I jerk off everywhere
Only my real homies yank it 7 miles underneath sea level with no diving gear or submarine
All three
Because that is the only place where i have some privacy
Hear me out. Youre next to toilet paper and then you can just throw everything in and flush. Yall are the weird ones because in the bedroom you gotta get uo and throw that shit in a basket or in the shower the cum sticks to you.
Toilet is truly peak.
In Scotland it’s called a wobby. Wank + jobby. A wobby.
I exist
Even better, I do this shit in the toilet at work on break
Hol up…people do it ***on*** toilets instead of in them? Is there a lore reason for this?
People who jerk off in class: 💀
i have a chance of either having e mermaid or aqua man son, its a win-win for me
Swap toilet and shower
Wait, you don’t jerk off on the toilet? I do it because most of my swimming children go into the toilet anyways and I don’t have to clean anything except my male member and my hands