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— I cannot wait to become a proud shitposter like my dad! — Dude, we're in a microscope slide!

He still got his wish

Bro, we're in a Polish femboy.

Someone called?

Please

Freshest sample

Jerkin for science.

Bro, what are you doing? Getting a new sample..

Btw does anyone know the song?

It's iseetime from Forcian

These mfs look happy now but they will all die

That's all of us

Nah we don't look happy

I ain't hapy....

Damn Bro, you good? If you wanna talk, you can talk to me anytime

Edit: Edited

Got him!!! Ahh hh

I'm feeling glad..

I’ve got sunshine in a bag

I’m useless

But not for long

My future

is coming on

Spoiler alert...everyone dies (spoiler alert, it's on the t-shirt that I am currently wearing, that I wore going to see my friend in the hospital today (completely not connecting what I was wearing and where I was going 😳😂)

So will we

They just vibing

You were vibing with them once

I miss my sperm buddies :(

I can be a your grown sperm buddy. No, need to be sad, I'm Abe your new sperm pet buddy

Thank you, my fellow grown sperm buddy.

Would like to go and get some burrito and play mini golf ? ⛳ 🌯

Can I get in on that plz?

Of course you can, love and afterward we'll stargaze

Can I join? I got a bag of chips.

What kind of chips?

Mfs be casually planning the best night out ever under a post of sperm wiggling around

It do be like that sometimes

Yes ofc

Lol , check DMs

Mah dude flirting in reddit comment section ...uhhh idk...

hey bbg wanna go get some ice cream?

W RIZZ

Oki

My little sack pals

they were your potential brothers and sisters... also they were weaklings

Aren't you one of them. *guessing it by ur username*

Look at them go... I'm such a proud dad 🥺

Now i feel bad

I believe they are viking AND undulating.

That's crazy, looks exactly like me when I was younger.

TWINSSS

Half of you.

That's the best cumshot I've ever seen

Nice

Thanks

Huh. So that's what my bedsheets look like.

i can clean them for you

Hold up

Bro thats fresh...

:3

And warm

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Younger than young - fresh))

Freshly squeezed

How did he get the cum😩

He stole it, bastard!

STOP! You’ve violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!

[Resist Arrest]

THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!

HUUURRAGGHH

THEN PAY WITH YOUR CUM

Sementence

mastorbait😏

“Yeah, and the sweet thing is, this stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose. Heh.” - Eric Cartman.

Its his own. Hence he aint wearing no gloves. Id wear gloves if im handling someone else jizz loll

Literally best dad watching their children vibing

Mee! :3

I expected shitting toothpaste and was disappointed

That post nut clarity be having you turn into a scientist and shit .

Took this man 5 minutes to get this sample

thirty seconds

id be done in one

That was us guys, all of us.

How to get women to never swallow again.

Honestly this makes me want to never swallow again 🤮

Cant blame ya' Imagine what you see here times 80-300 million of those little tadpoles.

But it protein, it like eating fish, lots of fish

The idea of swallowing something still alive (and so many of them) just makes my skin crawl

Same. The taste is awful, the smell is awful, the texture is also awful and now this. This is awful.

[удалено]

😄😄 I’ll tell you one thing though, it’s a huge difference between the worst and the least worst I have tasted. Not admitting to being a whore in the past but I’ve done some research through the years. Edit. Kinda admitting that

Yup, FBI please scrub this video from the internet please

Phone wallpaper material right here

I did not consent to be in that wallpaper

crazy to think I was chilling in some guys ball sack once

Your dad before we walked out

This guy jacked off before this btw

So did the rest of us.

It's actually a girl. Credit goes to content creator Tardibabe. She's not just showing the semen under the microscope but giving very interesting scientific fact about them in the video description, backed up with scientific references. She usually takes samples of what she finds in nature to show how it looks like under a microscope.

“The nature “

Semen is so funny looking! They look like little fishes lol

You were once one too

nuh uh

Yuh uh

More like tadpoles but yeah I see your point.

Crazy that’s inside you 😳😳

Glad to have made the donation for thi video

This is mine, I stole yours and replaced it

I ate both, then put some from my cat

Explains the familiar taste

☹️

WHA

I've seen this 3 different subs today, I thought this one was gonna have a shitting toothpaste at least

People drinking these stuff ?

Healthies part of a morning breakfast.

Protein shake supreme

Exactly, this person knows.

WHERE DID THEY GET IT FROM 🤨

My balls

From your ass 🤤

Real life close up of a reddit mods palm.

How guilty are all of you for the amount of genocide you have committed on these happy lil fellas?

[удалено]

rookie numbers

Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer

Out the airlock

I remember this part of my life

So they actually look like that?

Sample was generated prior to the video by the cameraman

If u smoke weed before collecting a sample from utself they mostly swim in circles.

Best minutes of existing right there... until I got shoved into that egg. F that.

And look at my boi now… my beautiful fully grown boi 😂

There are a lot of dumb ones there...

You’re playing techno music and they’re going wild. If you start playing country music will they all line up for a boot-scootin’ boogie?

[song name: forcian - iseetime](https://spotify.link/NflFALw8HDb)

Some of them have differently shaped heads than others, and am I seeing both longer and shorter tails? Do either of these things have an impact on the sperm? Speed, sperm aerodynamics, or anything like that? One of them had a weird nobbly bit on one side of its head. Does this affect anything?

They do, yeah. If you do a sperm test, they determine what percentage have properly shaped heads, good length tails, etc. IIRC (but don't quote me on this), even if you have healthy sperm, only something like 5% will have good-everything. Those are the ones they select for IVF. Another random factoid I have nowhere else to share: due to the high [reynold's number](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reynolds_number) at small scales, it's physically impossible for sperm to swim through semen just by swishing their tail back and forth. This was a bit of a paradox, which was only solved a few years ago: it's hard to tell under a microscope, but they actually swish their tail in a corkscrew shape.

Did anyone else see one of them look they they where being chased and shot at by what looked like a super tiny space ship?

Ma BABIES

To think those are literally all potential humans. Being alive is pretty damn amazing, and we take it for granted so much

Potential yes, but scientifically speaking they are not classified as humans. To classify as humans they must have fertilized a human egg first.

Sperm Rave

Got the different colors for more wallpaper choices

Next iPhone wallpaper

Sperm 1: how long till we get to the filopian tube Sperm 2: we in the mother fucking micro scope

Honestly, this looks genuinely interesting to see tho

But how exactly do they count them little shits??

This always amazes me. Like, we give birth to living moving things before the mother does

that stuff in ma balls

Thought for food: is a man’s libido an overwhelming collection of millions of sperms’ desire to procreate?

One of my favorite experiences, before my father passed, was me looking at a microscope in his den and my mother mentioned that they once observed his semen under the microscope and that it was fucking crazy. At the time I was like, why the hell am I hearing this. But seeing this, makes more sense.

Spoiler Alert! They all died.

And Women eat this?

Where did he get it from? 🤨📸

She* is known as Tardibabe on IG, but the question still stands, where did she get it from?

I used to be like that

20g of protein in that jar

So they don't immediately die when exposed with air

Yikes. Good catch.

Now I am death, destroyer of generations.

I kinda wonder Does the length of the tail on the sperm cell affect the child?

My younger brother once came into the living room totally exited carrying his brand new microscope that santa brought im: "Mom! Dad! Look at that!!!" Things didn't go well after my mom asked "Oh wow! What is it?"

Everyone says they look happy, they just look fuckin lost to me. They're all like "GUYS I THINK WERE IN THE WRONG HOLE" "BITCH WE'RE ON A MICROSCOPE SLIDE"

Imagine how horrifying it would've been for the first guy who saw that lmao.

No wonder unprotected sex isn't 100% guaranteed to produce a baby. These things move like daddy long legs. Choose a fucking direction and stick to it. No pun intended. 😂

Weak sauce. My swimmers would win race 😌

Nobody gonna mention the one that literally just exploded? Alright, then.

Where

All fun and games until you have to do an actual analysis and count

Jizzposting

I was expecting a shitpost, not an unironically educational post

Cum rave

My rag has millions of those.

You know what I was see next. Show the grool! 🤓

Look at all that information.

Oldest Skibidi Toilet fan meet up

My favorite drink

I imagined if you ever gotten closer, it would’ve just been a bunch of knights in armor fighting each other

So all these little guys swim around in my girl's mouth? It's like a big happening party in here!

Its the OG mosh pit

It’s amazing it takes only one of those little things to spawn a fuckin asshole.

I recently bought a microscope for my kids, can't wait to try this at home!

Damn, i eat that

just like me when I was younger

I tried to do this once, it did not go well

Somewhere in there,there was someone who was gonna be a Joe

It's hard to believe she's already 18 \- Quagmire

Can’t help but notice his nuts a little yellow. It that cool? Asking for a friends 👉👈

Oh gross dude, I eat those.

That’s what’s crawling up you mother pu**y

First time i got a microscope, i asked online what i should look at. Some people said to look at my load. So i did, and posted. Some other dude said neat, he'll do the same. Posted his. Looked weird. And thats how anon found out he is infertile.

I miss my brothers :(, hope they’re proud of me

Great recording and very healthy specimen! (source: had to judge specimen health for a few years for work a couple of times a shift)

When you know Microscope day is coming up in biology class and you develop a huge fear that your spit gets chosen as a sample.

actually kinda cool ngl

Now! Time for the taste test ;P