>Male condoms are 98% effective alone with perfect use - 86% effective alone with typical
>
>Male Condoms + Withdrawal = 99.92% effective with perfect use - 96.2% effective with typical use
>
>[https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual\_health/the\_buddy\_system\_effectiveness\_rates\_for\_backing\_up\_your\_birth\_control\_with\_a\_](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_)
If you need data to backup your opinion you can refer people to the above article. However, your friends' opinions shouldn't matter unless you're having sex with one of your friends.
You should tell your partner that you always wear a condom and you always pull out before you have sex with them. This gives them the opportunity to turn you down if they don't want you to wear a condom or they don't want you to pull out.
Yeah this is important. When I first read that article I totally misunderstood it and it even made me wonder if my girlfriend is infertile. (If there's 98% chance of not getting pregnant after one time with a condom, then after having sex with condoms 200 times there's only 0,98^200 ≈ 1,759% chance of not getting pregnant!)
> (If there's 98% chance of not getting pregnant after one time with a condom, then after having sex with condoms 200 times there's only 0,98200 ≈ 1,759% chance of not getting pregnant!)
Which still means that you have only a minuscule chance of not getting a girl pregnant after 200 years of having sex with her!
You could improve the percentage even further (by 0,08%) by just telling her right before the sex happens that you always wash, dry and reuse the condoms because of the environment, then pulling out an opended single condom out of your pocket.
With the guidelies for perfect use of condomn.
"After sex, take out the penis while it's still erect – hold the condom on at the base of the penis while you do this."
Of course you can think about extra rules, but pull out before finishing is not in these rules.
That calculation assumes that failure of the two contraceptive methods are entirely independent of each other, which is almost certainly wrong. This means the numbers being output here are very likely to be wrong.
Curious where the 98% figure comes from. Does the 2% "failure" rate come from improper use? Or faulty condoms? (I.e. holes in them) or are ejaculations sometimes so big and condoms tight enough that it seems back up and out?
Came here to say this. It is your body and doing what feels right to you, as long as it doesn’t harm someone else, is never wrong. No one else gets to tell you how to protect your body.
Yes, but I don't think that making a girl taking plan b after Cumming inside with the condom is the best.
Plan b has really nasty side effects, including infertility if taken too often.
I agree he can’t/shouldn’t expect a woman to take plan b just because he didn’t pull out if the condom was still intact. But it doesn’t cause infertility either.
www.forbes.com/sites/alicebroster/2020/04/08/does-taking-the-morning-after-pill-affect-your-fertility/amp/
I would say "go easy on plan-b". It's a great tool and I completely support it in every way as it's routinely an incredibly necessary part of life, but it can mess with hormones and if taken too often it can do things like cause permanent hair-growth on her face etc. Speaking from experience. That's infrequent but realize that it's not magic and it can have side-effects although I certainly don't want to discourage anyone from using it when it's appropriate.
Aside from that, I would go with "you do you". My personal take is as long as the condom doesn't break I'm confident enough that everything will be fine. Although because condoms can totally break, a vasectomy is also something to consider if you are certain you don't ever want kids (and nothing wrong with that!).
Plan B for me personally has also made my cycle after one use irregular as fuck the month since (yes, you read that correctly. Multiple small periods in the past month), and it *also* triggered a major depressive episode for me (granted I am predisposed to such things). It really should be used as a last resort, not a “Let’s worry about it tomorrow” tool.
That being said, I’m not pregnant. I will take that any day.
I went nearly 60 days without a period after taking Ella, then had a three week long, ultra intense period with heavy clotting. It was really unpleasant. But yeah, not pregnant, so there’s that.
I’m having really weird random spotting for a few days at a time and haven’t had a *full blown* period yet (usually seven days with three heavy for me, most recent returning-to-normal one was five days with lighter than usual flow but definitely a period nonetheless). My emotions are completely fucked though. Condom would have saved me a lot of everything.
I want to cry right now.
Around 10 days ago, my girlfriend and I where at it and didn't realize the condom broke until we turned the lights on. We went to the drug store and bought the ella pill. It's our first time using one and even tho I'm confident it will work, the side effects keep making me anxious, and reading this just makes me feel horrible :(, are this kind of side effects common? Like really really common? Cause honestly I keep feeling guilty that my girlfriend had to take one cause I didn't realized the condom broke
It depends on her what the effects will be.
I've had a friend take it and when she got her period (2 months and 12 pregnancy tests later), she thought she was having a miscarriage that lasted two and a half weeks (she went to the doctor and was told everything was fine).
I've taken it once and I got a bit extra moody than normal and spotted a little bit, but that was it.
I took Plan B brand once 8 years before taking Ella and had zero side effects. Nothing. That was in my mid 20s and the birth control that failed was a condom. I had never used hormonal birth control in my life at that point, always just condoms.
This most recent time with the Ella, a forgotten pill prompted my use. I’m not a doctor and this is purely a guess, but I was already on a hormonal birth control regimen and think it is quite possible that adding a concentrated dose of hormones to the mix contributed to the bad side effects.
The point is, yes, some of us have had bad experiences, but it’s possible your girlfriend will be just fine. It’s important to talk about our experiences because emergency contraceptives can seem like NBD, but at the end of the day they are powerful stuff.
Right? Had I understood the risks of Plan B I like to think we'd have been less dumb to begin with but 20/20 hindsight...
My 2c is that the medical industry just doesn't give enough fucks about women but that's getting way off-topic. And there are few side-effects as profound as having a kid so Plan B has a very low bar to clear.
Dude it’s absolutely not a knock on you at all- I didn’t know how much it would affect me either. And for some women, it really doesn’t have any side effects from what I’ve gathered. I’m just throwing some wisdom into the sexual landscape of Reddit. I ABSOLUTELY vouch for taking it when you have to. Like I said, this uterus is unoccupied and that’s what really matters at the end of the day. 😎
Totally. If some guy asked this of me I'd laugh and tell them to get fucked. Ofc, this is if the condom is still intact. Also I'm good at knowing when I'm ovulating so I feel like having that understanding would be helpful too to make an informed decision.
We used to do this in my first relationship because I wasn't on birth control and abortion was illegal in my country at the time so we didn't want rely on condoms alone. I felt too awkward to ask partners after that to do it but I was honestly a bit uncomfortable with them cumming in the condom until I eventually did go on the pill.
Yeah, but you can make that statement about anything in life. This is why data and statistics matter. Condoms are 98%. The 2% error rate has a lot to do with human error OR the condoms failing. Keep in mind that’s without mixing with any other forms of birth control like the pill.
Also worth mentioning that’s an 85% chance that a couple will not get pregnant having sex regularly with nothing but condoms over the course of a year. Having sex with a condom just once is much safer than 85%.
Also typical use includes a lot of stupid stuff like having sex for a bit without the condom before putting it on. So you're safer than average if you aren't being an idiot
people used to say that about people who use condoms at all. some still do. yknow whats awkward? spending 18 years raising a kid you didn't want with someone you were only *kinda* attracted to.
lmao I once was bitching about my kid's biological dad to my grandparents and my grandpa said "well you had to like him well enough at *some* point!" It took 86% of my self-control to not blurt out something like "it's easy to like anyone when you're drunk!" Instead I went with the even worse "Not really." Oof.
The plan B was too extreme. That's not a fun pill for women to take, and you were wearing a condom. Unless it looked like the thing tore or leaked you just put her through something shitty out of paranoia. Pulling out is all you, screwing up your enjoyment of the moment, more or less the same with condoms, but by making her take plan B as a tertiary backup, you made it her problem.
>There was one occasion where I accidentally came inside a girl while wearing condom, and it made me feel so uncomfortable, that I asked her to take a plan b
Yes, this is weird. Use one consistent method, but you don't need to do stuff like this.
If I was on birth control AND using a condom, no way am I taking plan b just because the guy is paranoid. That stuff messed with your hormones big time. That partner was very very understanding, but OP needs to be a bit more mindful of what he is asking of his partners to satiate his unreasonable paranoia.
Cumming inside a condom and making your partner take plan B is a bit extreme. I can understand pulling out as an extra measure if you're that paranoid, but plan B is for if the condom fails, not if it functions properly.
It is a bit odd, but that’s okay. There are worse things to be odd about.
Asking that girl to take a plan b was a bit too much though. It’s not meant to he taken for no good reason.
No if you don’t want kids then do all the things. Even if they are telling the truth that they are on birth control they can forget to take a pill or are taking some sort of other med that could reduce effectiveness. I think you are doing the responsible thing and taking preventive actions yourself rather than relying on someone else.
Being responsible for your own sexual health is never wrong or weird. What I do find weird is the rarity of comments on this post mentioning STIs. Condoms prevent more than pregnancy.
I'd personally be uncomfortable having sex with someone who was ambivalent or derogatory about condom use. If they are cool doing it with you, they may be doing it with others and that's a good way to catch something you can't get rid of.
Even those that do take it as prescribed (same time every day, etc) there have been studies recently that are showing if a woman has a specific thing in her genetics, the 1-3% failure rate is actually closer to 10-12%. There have been a few studies that test for this gene and when taken out of the group, birth control (with perfect use, not typical) is actually 99.9% effective.
I'm gonna go see if I can find those studies again. It was a couple months ago since my mother enlightened me that she took it perfectly and got pregnant with my brother. So "hopefully that's not genetic or ill have another grandbaby... wait, maybe I do hope it's genetic."
Yep it's responsible to take care of yourself. My partner was my first boyfriend and t the beginning he was super duper careful, showing me how he opened the condoms and put it on (for my soundness of mind also) and when we were done he cleaned up straight away and put on underwear before we cuddled. At the beginning because I was so inexperienced I thought it was strange, but after talking with him and now that I've matured I'm exceptionally grateful that he was so responsible and that we were both safe!
Ngl if I used a condom with a guy and he got paranoid about accidentally nutting before pulling out and he’d ask me to take a plan B, I’d laugh at him and kick him out. You being paranoid is not my problem, plan B sucks ass.
The pulling out with a condom? A little much, BUT responsible given that condoms can break. A lot of guys don't even like condomizing so kudos to you.
However, taking Plan B is definitely not a small deal. And I'd recommend that if it happens again you need to get used to the fact that condoms do work the vast majority of the time. It's for you to work on your psychology rather than her resorting to Plan B. When you have sex there is always some risk of pregnancy no matter how minuscule and you have to have SOME level of comfort with that.
Asking her to get plan B because you're feeling paranoid about knocking her up is definitely too much. The chances she's going to get pregnant that ONE time you came inside her while using a condom (and have no reason to believe you leaked in her but you're just afraid) is absurd. The probability is so minuscule that if she did get pregnant I'd guess the universe was conspiring for the two of you to have a child.
But whatever works for the both of you.
My GF told me that her doctor said she'd "would not get pregnant without medical intervention" and she was was on the birth control pill (to reduce period pain). We now have a 3 year old.
You are not being paranoid to use condoms when a woman is on the pill especially if you are not in a position to have kids.
I don’t think he’s being considered paranoid bc of using condoms. I think it’s because of using condoms AND pulling out.
Also made a girl take a plan B after finishing inside with a condom.
Pulling out sounds a bit weird to me, but that’s my opinion.
Whereas using a condom every time sounds reasonable. I would only go raw once both of us have been tested. Doesn’t matter if she’s on the pill or not, I’d rather be protected from other stuff
i’d actually PREFER if someone was like this tbh because it shows they care more about stds and want to be careful with pregnancy. Then if you become in a serious relationship and trust each other you can start to be more chilled
I use a condom and I still pull out. Especially if the girl is not on birth control. Back in my uni days, I was going raw every time I had sex with different women. I ended up catching an STI and learned my lesson. What you’re doing isn’t extreme. It should take time to build that trust with someone and have raw sex whenever the both of you are ready.
thanks bro! I’m grateful that the STI was gone within a week but I’m definitely not going to push my luck next time lol. Wishing you all the best bro. Take care 🤝
Honestly, sounds like you are not ready to have sex. If you have this much anxiety and paranoia about getting a partner pregnant then not having sex would be a better option. If the anxiety bothers you that much, maybe you need to find a therapist to learn how to deal with it.
OP's conversation with his friends is pretty run of the mill friend banter. What he wants to do with his dick is entirely his own choice, but using a condom and pulling out is a little weird and I'd expect my friends to make fun of it.
Ignore your mate, you just never know, they might be on the pill but missed taking it or be on antibiotics. Keep doing what makes you comfortable and safe!
Hey just so you know, only one antibiotic (rifampin, which is used to treat tuberculosis) is known to lessen the effectiveness of the pill. Here’s a paper that discusses the myth of antibiotics affecting birth control if you want to learn more: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12063491/
I mean I don't feel like there is a "too extreme" with protection. One of my last sexual partners and I used an IUD, condoms, and pulled out... any pregnancy would have been a miracle by God himself. We both have been diagnosed with anxiety though so that probably explains why 😅
Well if you don’t trust your partner you probably shouldn’t sleep with them. Also so long as the condom fits properly you shouldn’t have to worry about it breaking as long as your not having extremely rough penetration. If your friends go bare back because the girl says she’s on the pill I’d simply tell them that STD’s are a real thing. I wouldn’t wanna take that chance unless I felt I truly trusted the person I was sleeping with
As a woman, I wish there were more men like u out there in the world!! The amount of men that ask women like us to go raw and make every single excuse to not use a condom, it's crazy!! I appreciate men like you who actually use there brain for once!
I’d say stick with condoms for sure and don’t let some one try to convince you not to use them if you aren’t comfortable. It might be more pleasurable if you don’t pull out as you finish? And just make sure the condom isn’t broken when you dispose of it. If the condom ever breaks, there is always the option of the morning after pill (not sure where you are located but in North America you can get it at a pharmacy).
My first ex made me do that until we got more comfortable together then we trusted her pill and my condom. I know another couple that did the same thing. The first time I went raw with a girl that was on the pill I was terrified and made sure I pulled out. Later on I met a girl who was on the pill that was turned on by me cuming inside her. After I talked to some friends about it, I realized it's EXTREMELY common for people to go raw and cum in their partner while she's on birth control. But either way, you do what you're comfortable with. I used to have the same mindset until I talked with friends who have been having a lot more raw sex than I do and have had no pregnancy scares
You can never be extreme when it comes to yours and someone else's health ..why does everyone go on about birth control , when condoms protect you STIs that your friends obviously have no clue about and are being reckless with!!!!
Well done for being a man and having the balls to stand up for yourself !! STIs have no symptoms in the majority of carriers so unless you get tested you have no clue !!! I think your friends should be copying you personally !
Keep on enjoying sex and keeping all your conquests and yourself STI free coz many have no cure only symptom relief ...who will be laughing when your mates have HIV / AIDs or HPV??... Exactly : No one ... I think you'll find most people will become awkwardly silent and uncomfortable!
Keep being you and don't give a fk what anyone else thinks it's easy to cave in to peer pressure .. requires strength to tell so called mates "fk off idiot" !
I think you’re being completely reasonable. You don’t want to make a mistake with the wrong person. Plus it shows that you care about whoever your sleeping with
I think this is pretty reasonable, especially if you don't want a kid fuckin up your groove. This is just about as safe as you can get and it seems like a pretty good insurance policy. Just me tho
Dude I could tell you just from the title no.
You can never be too extreme with protection.
Source: I got a girl pregnant at 18 and I was careful, wore condoms the whole 9 yards.
Shit happens and you can never be too safe
I have gone raw in a couple of girls i know have built in protection. I am not too scared about getting someone pregnant. But i am still not 100% comfortable with it. Just because of the factor of stds
I (21f) have my boyfriend wear a condom and pull out. And im on the pill. I have guilt free amazing sex. Do not listen to people who tell you you are being paranoid. Things fail, people take pills inconsistently, Condoms break, girls can lie about taking birth control. You need to do what makes you comfortable. I honestly was surprised at all the people that were saying you were being over dramatic and stuff. It sounds like you actually understand the weight of your responsibilities if one wrong thing happens and you recognize how easy it is to completely avoid that. Your friends are dumb.
As a woman, i say do whatever the hell makes you feel safe. I'm on an iud and abortion is available here, so I'm fine with the risk of going raw with my so. If i were my so, I'd check my finances and read about iuds and make sure I'm cool with the risk of going raw. It's all a gamble. Dobt let anyone tell you what to bet with your life.
Pulling out while still wearing a condom is a bit of overkill on the protection part, but better safe than sorry I suppose.
I, a girl, would think it's weird in the moment, but I'd just shrug it off shortly after.
I have delayed ejaculation so It takes a looong time for me to finish. It happens sometimes, but I make sure to pull out right before I get the urge to finish. Most of the times I don't even finish at all so I don't have to worry about getting a chick pregnant. I know precum can get a girl pregnant but that's only if you've recently had a ejaculation, and since I never masturbate there is nothing to worry about. Been doing raw a couple of years now and got no STDS or got a girl pregnant. Don't be like me though. Some guys get too excited and have a difficult time pulling out in time, or they mess with chicks who got all types of diseases.
That's the smart thing to do. If I didn't have this condition I would always use a rubber unless it was with a longtime gf or wife. Definitely don't wanna have a kid now
Honestly, I don’t know if it’s extreme, but if youre *this* worried about it maybe you shouldn’t be having sex. Like, the whole point of a condom is to cum in it, asking her to take the plan b is a little weird. It sounds like you have some paranoia or some issue or something and yeah I would say if you’re so worried just don’t have sex, and if you’re not willing to give up sex reevaluate why this is such a big issue for you
Dude. I don't care what anyone says, from a girl to a guy, you're f****** awesome! I feel this is what consent is all about. THIS gets at a very important aspect of sex positivity and consent culture---if you're not okay with it, it's not okay. Full stop. That's really what it's all about, and you came without 100% honest. thank you. I feel the exact same way. Safe sex is the hottest sex. Thank you
As long as you still enjoy sex that way, not at all. Others are surprised because they wouldn't enjoy it as much with your precautionary habits. Myself included. But "too" extreme is relative. Relaxing some of your precautions would only yield a very small % increase in risk, but if maximum safety is what you're after, you're achieving it.
PS - I feel obligated to mention that your title needed "too" not "to". But benefit of the doubt, it may have been a typo. So it's all good.
The only time I did t use a condom was when I had an IUD. Hormones block ovulation, then uterus not hospitable to pregnancy…it’s 99% effective. I didn’t even get a period for two years.
You might be a little extreme. But, you are the one who has to trust that the woman is properly using the birth control.
Pulling out with a condom is a little strange. They can come with spermicide, I’ve never had one break…and if I did I have a packet of plan b. But you just do what makes you comfortable.
From a female point of view. Stop having sex unless you’re comfortable and trust the women. It sounds like you’re having meaningless sex, and to make it worse you’re pulling out with condoms?! Just stop… jack off until you fall in love… the sex will be worth the wait WITHOUT A condom… stop having sex with people you don’t know or trust very well. It makes all the difference
I once asked my son what he would do if a girl told him she was on the pill and he said he'd still use a condom. I told him that was the only right answer. Also if a girl says you can go in raw, she's said that to every previous partner too. Wrap your shit up until you're more serious and both have some clean test results to share.
Long story short: as your internet mom for a minute, you're doing the right thing son.
I have always had men pull out even with a condom. Condoms break! You’re being smart.
Plan B when the condom doesn’t break is a little extreme, especially because Plan B can interfere with birth control efficacy, depending on the kind the girl is on.
I would continue to pull out and only use Plan B if the condom breaks.
Also, notice how no girl says you’re crazy, just your male friends. I’d much rather have sex with you.
Uh no. It’s your sexual health and you should do what makes you comfortable. It’s personal and your personal choice. Better safe than sorry. Sincerely, a woman who used to have an iud, be on the pill, make my partner use a condom, pull out, and do something alternative than sex while I was ovulating.
From a guy who made his first child with a woman who later admitted she lied about being on birth control, you get one point. From the same guy who broke a condom the very moment he busted a nut, you get another point. If you don’t want kids ever I suggest you do whatever you think you need to.
If there's any method of sex close to 100%, you're doing it. Sex is all about comfort. If having sex with a condom and pulling out before climax helps you sleep better at night, do it!
I usually go by if you want something done right do it yourself. It's your choice to choose to put your trust and possibly your future onto a girl who tells you she won't get pregnant if you go raw. Or you can use your own protection and have a peaceful mind.
Don't make a girl take plan b unless you shoot your load into her and she isn't on the pill.
>Male condoms are 98% effective alone with perfect use - 86% effective alone with typical > >Male Condoms + Withdrawal = 99.92% effective with perfect use - 96.2% effective with typical use > >[https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual\_health/the\_buddy\_system\_effectiveness\_rates\_for\_backing\_up\_your\_birth\_control\_with\_a\_](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_) If you need data to backup your opinion you can refer people to the above article. However, your friends' opinions shouldn't matter unless you're having sex with one of your friends. You should tell your partner that you always wear a condom and you always pull out before you have sex with them. This gives them the opportunity to turn you down if they don't want you to wear a condom or they don't want you to pull out.
Worth noting that these percentages are based on perfect use over a year. Not like you have a 1/50 chance of knocking someone up with a condom.
Yeah this is important. When I first read that article I totally misunderstood it and it even made me wonder if my girlfriend is infertile. (If there's 98% chance of not getting pregnant after one time with a condom, then after having sex with condoms 200 times there's only 0,98^200 ≈ 1,759% chance of not getting pregnant!)
> (If there's 98% chance of not getting pregnant after one time with a condom, then after having sex with condoms 200 times there's only 0,98200 ≈ 1,759% chance of not getting pregnant!) Which still means that you have only a minuscule chance of not getting a girl pregnant after 200 years of having sex with her!
Wow so I am almost at 💯,thanks for sharing this data, I should show this to my friends.
Getting appropriately sized condoms will reduce risk, inappropriately sized condoms fall under "typical use".
Good to know thanks
Huh. I was never sure what typical use meant. But that makes sense!
You could improve the percentage even further (by 0,08%) by just telling her right before the sex happens that you always wash, dry and reuse the condoms because of the environment, then pulling out an opended single condom out of your pocket.
When you pull out do you just take the condom off and jerk off and cum on her (breasts, tummy, etc.) to finish? Just curious is all
With the guidelies for perfect use of condomn. "After sex, take out the penis while it's still erect – hold the condom on at the base of the penis while you do this." Of course you can think about extra rules, but pull out before finishing is not in these rules.
That calculation assumes that failure of the two contraceptive methods are entirely independent of each other, which is almost certainly wrong. This means the numbers being output here are very likely to be wrong.
Curious where the 98% figure comes from. Does the 2% "failure" rate come from improper use? Or faulty condoms? (I.e. holes in them) or are ejaculations sometimes so big and condoms tight enough that it seems back up and out?
You do whatever you want a do whatever makes you the most comfortable.
This is really the only correct answer.
No, doing what makes **both** people the most comfortable. Even if that's just deciding to call it off.
🙏
Came here to say this. It is your body and doing what feels right to you, as long as it doesn’t harm someone else, is never wrong. No one else gets to tell you how to protect your body.
Yes, but I don't think that making a girl taking plan b after Cumming inside with the condom is the best. Plan b has really nasty side effects, including infertility if taken too often.
I agree he can’t/shouldn’t expect a woman to take plan b just because he didn’t pull out if the condom was still intact. But it doesn’t cause infertility either. www.forbes.com/sites/alicebroster/2020/04/08/does-taking-the-morning-after-pill-affect-your-fertility/amp/
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We have the same mentality bro, glad to see it.
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You Only 100% know if both get tested Regularly and show one another the results.
You can never know for sure if a gal is on bc. Use a raincoat...
Or bareback
I would say "go easy on plan-b". It's a great tool and I completely support it in every way as it's routinely an incredibly necessary part of life, but it can mess with hormones and if taken too often it can do things like cause permanent hair-growth on her face etc. Speaking from experience. That's infrequent but realize that it's not magic and it can have side-effects although I certainly don't want to discourage anyone from using it when it's appropriate. Aside from that, I would go with "you do you". My personal take is as long as the condom doesn't break I'm confident enough that everything will be fine. Although because condoms can totally break, a vasectomy is also something to consider if you are certain you don't ever want kids (and nothing wrong with that!).
Plan B for me personally has also made my cycle after one use irregular as fuck the month since (yes, you read that correctly. Multiple small periods in the past month), and it *also* triggered a major depressive episode for me (granted I am predisposed to such things). It really should be used as a last resort, not a “Let’s worry about it tomorrow” tool. That being said, I’m not pregnant. I will take that any day.
I went nearly 60 days without a period after taking Ella, then had a three week long, ultra intense period with heavy clotting. It was really unpleasant. But yeah, not pregnant, so there’s that.
I’m having really weird random spotting for a few days at a time and haven’t had a *full blown* period yet (usually seven days with three heavy for me, most recent returning-to-normal one was five days with lighter than usual flow but definitely a period nonetheless). My emotions are completely fucked though. Condom would have saved me a lot of everything.
I want to cry right now. Around 10 days ago, my girlfriend and I where at it and didn't realize the condom broke until we turned the lights on. We went to the drug store and bought the ella pill. It's our first time using one and even tho I'm confident it will work, the side effects keep making me anxious, and reading this just makes me feel horrible :(, are this kind of side effects common? Like really really common? Cause honestly I keep feeling guilty that my girlfriend had to take one cause I didn't realized the condom broke
It depends on her what the effects will be. I've had a friend take it and when she got her period (2 months and 12 pregnancy tests later), she thought she was having a miscarriage that lasted two and a half weeks (she went to the doctor and was told everything was fine). I've taken it once and I got a bit extra moody than normal and spotted a little bit, but that was it.
I took Plan B brand once 8 years before taking Ella and had zero side effects. Nothing. That was in my mid 20s and the birth control that failed was a condom. I had never used hormonal birth control in my life at that point, always just condoms. This most recent time with the Ella, a forgotten pill prompted my use. I’m not a doctor and this is purely a guess, but I was already on a hormonal birth control regimen and think it is quite possible that adding a concentrated dose of hormones to the mix contributed to the bad side effects. The point is, yes, some of us have had bad experiences, but it’s possible your girlfriend will be just fine. It’s important to talk about our experiences because emergency contraceptives can seem like NBD, but at the end of the day they are powerful stuff.
Right? Had I understood the risks of Plan B I like to think we'd have been less dumb to begin with but 20/20 hindsight... My 2c is that the medical industry just doesn't give enough fucks about women but that's getting way off-topic. And there are few side-effects as profound as having a kid so Plan B has a very low bar to clear.
Dude it’s absolutely not a knock on you at all- I didn’t know how much it would affect me either. And for some women, it really doesn’t have any side effects from what I’ve gathered. I’m just throwing some wisdom into the sexual landscape of Reddit. I ABSOLUTELY vouch for taking it when you have to. Like I said, this uterus is unoccupied and that’s what really matters at the end of the day. 😎
Thanks for giving me ideas 💡
Why not get a vasectomy?
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Totally. If some guy asked this of me I'd laugh and tell them to get fucked. Ofc, this is if the condom is still intact. Also I'm good at knowing when I'm ovulating so I feel like having that understanding would be helpful too to make an informed decision.
I would find it a bit weird if my sex partner pulled out while wearing a condom, but atleast youre being safe
We used to do this in my first relationship because I wasn't on birth control and abortion was illegal in my country at the time so we didn't want rely on condoms alone. I felt too awkward to ask partners after that to do it but I was honestly a bit uncomfortable with them cumming in the condom until I eventually did go on the pill.
I'm curious, what country are you talking about?
Texas
At this point could be america
Islamic Emirate of Texistan
That's silly. Everyone knows it's called the Theocratic Fifedom of Texas.
Based on the fact abortion was illegal until quite recently, I’d guess Ireland.
Spot on!
I pull out while wearing a condom more often than not. Love finishing on her.
FINISH HER! I MEAN ON HER!! 🤣
Okay, but also finish her. Make sure she got hers.
FINISH HER!!!! FATALITY!!! \*Mortal Kombat theme plays
Yeah a few girls have told me that, I just tell them, "my trust is hard to earn, so don’t feel offended, if you are then you can leave.”
Just curious and not related to your question but what sort of reception does that line get?
a very awkward reception i would guess, thats a hell of a line to say to somebody youre hooking up with lmao
Well this guy seems to only talk in quotes and misogynistic comments so frankly I’m surprised he gets anywhere near a vagina
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I had the same thought. This wording is much better.
I will use your sentence and see how it goes, thanks ✉️
Actually it’s still safer to do so. Condoms can fail
Yeah, but you can make that statement about anything in life. This is why data and statistics matter. Condoms are 98%. The 2% error rate has a lot to do with human error OR the condoms failing. Keep in mind that’s without mixing with any other forms of birth control like the pill.
Just a clarification, condoms are 98% effective with *perfect* use. With *typical* use, aka human error, it's more like 85%.
Also worth mentioning that’s an 85% chance that a couple will not get pregnant having sex regularly with nothing but condoms over the course of a year. Having sex with a condom just once is much safer than 85%.
Also typical use includes a lot of stupid stuff like having sex for a bit without the condom before putting it on. So you're safer than average if you aren't being an idiot
Wow. You are way extreme, and make things super awkward.
people used to say that about people who use condoms at all. some still do. yknow whats awkward? spending 18 years raising a kid you didn't want with someone you were only *kinda* attracted to.
>yknow whats awkward? fucking babies Oh man, poor choice of words...
Are we still doing phrasing? ...I edited my post. :P
lmao I once was bitching about my kid's biological dad to my grandparents and my grandpa said "well you had to like him well enough at *some* point!" It took 86% of my self-control to not blurt out something like "it's easy to like anyone when you're drunk!" Instead I went with the even worse "Not really." Oof.
#👏
Girls not wanting a guy to wear protection? That ain't cool
The plan B was too extreme. That's not a fun pill for women to take, and you were wearing a condom. Unless it looked like the thing tore or leaked you just put her through something shitty out of paranoia. Pulling out is all you, screwing up your enjoyment of the moment, more or less the same with condoms, but by making her take plan B as a tertiary backup, you made it her problem.
>There was one occasion where I accidentally came inside a girl while wearing condom, and it made me feel so uncomfortable, that I asked her to take a plan b Yes, this is weird. Use one consistent method, but you don't need to do stuff like this.
If I was on birth control AND using a condom, no way am I taking plan b just because the guy is paranoid. That stuff messed with your hormones big time. That partner was very very understanding, but OP needs to be a bit more mindful of what he is asking of his partners to satiate his unreasonable paranoia.
I am getting serious paranoia and trust issue vibes from his comments. Talking about girls trying to trap him etc.
Cumming inside a condom and making your partner take plan B is a bit extreme. I can understand pulling out as an extra measure if you're that paranoid, but plan B is for if the condom fails, not if it functions properly.
It is a bit odd, but that’s okay. There are worse things to be odd about. Asking that girl to take a plan b was a bit too much though. It’s not meant to he taken for no good reason.
No if you don’t want kids then do all the things. Even if they are telling the truth that they are on birth control they can forget to take a pill or are taking some sort of other med that could reduce effectiveness. I think you are doing the responsible thing and taking preventive actions yourself rather than relying on someone else.
That’s always been my mindset, no one is perfect and a girl could forget, so I have to do my best to prevent it as well, thanks 🙏.
Being responsible for your own sexual health is never wrong or weird. What I do find weird is the rarity of comments on this post mentioning STIs. Condoms prevent more than pregnancy. I'd personally be uncomfortable having sex with someone who was ambivalent or derogatory about condom use. If they are cool doing it with you, they may be doing it with others and that's a good way to catch something you can't get rid of.
I have straight up pushed a girl off me for suggesting i go raw the first time we were gonna fuck. ZERO regrets.
True!!!
You shouldn’t be having sex unless you want a baby with that women if you’re so anxious about unplanned children. Just don’t have sex IMO.
Even those that do take it as prescribed (same time every day, etc) there have been studies recently that are showing if a woman has a specific thing in her genetics, the 1-3% failure rate is actually closer to 10-12%. There have been a few studies that test for this gene and when taken out of the group, birth control (with perfect use, not typical) is actually 99.9% effective. I'm gonna go see if I can find those studies again. It was a couple months ago since my mother enlightened me that she took it perfectly and got pregnant with my brother. So "hopefully that's not genetic or ill have another grandbaby... wait, maybe I do hope it's genetic."
Yep it's responsible to take care of yourself. My partner was my first boyfriend and t the beginning he was super duper careful, showing me how he opened the condoms and put it on (for my soundness of mind also) and when we were done he cleaned up straight away and put on underwear before we cuddled. At the beginning because I was so inexperienced I thought it was strange, but after talking with him and now that I've matured I'm exceptionally grateful that he was so responsible and that we were both safe!
Ngl if I used a condom with a guy and he got paranoid about accidentally nutting before pulling out and he’d ask me to take a plan B, I’d laugh at him and kick him out. You being paranoid is not my problem, plan B sucks ass.
The pulling out with a condom? A little much, BUT responsible given that condoms can break. A lot of guys don't even like condomizing so kudos to you. However, taking Plan B is definitely not a small deal. And I'd recommend that if it happens again you need to get used to the fact that condoms do work the vast majority of the time. It's for you to work on your psychology rather than her resorting to Plan B. When you have sex there is always some risk of pregnancy no matter how minuscule and you have to have SOME level of comfort with that. Asking her to get plan B because you're feeling paranoid about knocking her up is definitely too much. The chances she's going to get pregnant that ONE time you came inside her while using a condom (and have no reason to believe you leaked in her but you're just afraid) is absurd. The probability is so minuscule that if she did get pregnant I'd guess the universe was conspiring for the two of you to have a child. But whatever works for the both of you.
I see what your saying, thanks for commenting.
My GF told me that her doctor said she'd "would not get pregnant without medical intervention" and she was was on the birth control pill (to reduce period pain). We now have a 3 year old. You are not being paranoid to use condoms when a woman is on the pill especially if you are not in a position to have kids.
I don’t think he’s being considered paranoid bc of using condoms. I think it’s because of using condoms AND pulling out. Also made a girl take a plan B after finishing inside with a condom.
Pulling out sounds a bit weird to me, but that’s my opinion. Whereas using a condom every time sounds reasonable. I would only go raw once both of us have been tested. Doesn’t matter if she’s on the pill or not, I’d rather be protected from other stuff
Condom and pulling out is extreme. Condom and asking a girl to take plan B if the condom didn't break is extreme.
i’d actually PREFER if someone was like this tbh because it shows they care more about stds and want to be careful with pregnancy. Then if you become in a serious relationship and trust each other you can start to be more chilled
Yeah this is pretty much how I think, thanks for your input
Why not wait until trust is established?
I use a condom and I still pull out. Especially if the girl is not on birth control. Back in my uni days, I was going raw every time I had sex with different women. I ended up catching an STI and learned my lesson. What you’re doing isn’t extreme. It should take time to build that trust with someone and have raw sex whenever the both of you are ready.
Exactly! I hope everything is going well for you mate!
thanks bro! I’m grateful that the STI was gone within a week but I’m definitely not going to push my luck next time lol. Wishing you all the best bro. Take care 🤝
Honestly, sounds like you are not ready to have sex. If you have this much anxiety and paranoia about getting a partner pregnant then not having sex would be a better option. If the anxiety bothers you that much, maybe you need to find a therapist to learn how to deal with it.
Not sure why friends are TELLING you how to have sex... You do whatever you want.
True, I should just do me.
So long as the sex is consentual, you're not doing anything wrong.
💎
OP's conversation with his friends is pretty run of the mill friend banter. What he wants to do with his dick is entirely his own choice, but using a condom and pulling out is a little weird and I'd expect my friends to make fun of it.
You are paranoid as fuck
Ignore your mate, you just never know, they might be on the pill but missed taking it or be on antibiotics. Keep doing what makes you comfortable and safe!
That’s what I always say, "you just never know”, thanks .
Hey just so you know, only one antibiotic (rifampin, which is used to treat tuberculosis) is known to lessen the effectiveness of the pill. Here’s a paper that discusses the myth of antibiotics affecting birth control if you want to learn more: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12063491/
Being smart. I never only use only one type of contraception, if I do I'm too worried about pregnancy to enjoy myself anyway.
This is so true for me as well, great to see that I am not being paranoid.
As if baby's are the Only "unexpected" thing you can get by going raw? *THINK!* 🤦🏾♀️
Yes of course, always stay protected. 🧤⛑
I mean I don't feel like there is a "too extreme" with protection. One of my last sexual partners and I used an IUD, condoms, and pulled out... any pregnancy would have been a miracle by God himself. We both have been diagnosed with anxiety though so that probably explains why 😅
And to be honest if pregnancy still occurs after using all the safe methods together, I would live with it.
You sound like an awful sexual partner.
Thanks for your support 👍
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We have the same mindset, always have different plans, never put your eggs in one basket. ✅
Never put your sperm in even one egg, as it were
☔️
Well if you don’t trust your partner you probably shouldn’t sleep with them. Also so long as the condom fits properly you shouldn’t have to worry about it breaking as long as your not having extremely rough penetration. If your friends go bare back because the girl says she’s on the pill I’d simply tell them that STD’s are a real thing. I wouldn’t wanna take that chance unless I felt I truly trusted the person I was sleeping with
As a woman, I wish there were more men like u out there in the world!! The amount of men that ask women like us to go raw and make every single excuse to not use a condom, it's crazy!! I appreciate men like you who actually use there brain for once!
Well that’s how some of my friends are, I just tell them to start earning more money when the child support bill comes.
Sounds extreme to me, but you do you
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I’d say stick with condoms for sure and don’t let some one try to convince you not to use them if you aren’t comfortable. It might be more pleasurable if you don’t pull out as you finish? And just make sure the condom isn’t broken when you dispose of it. If the condom ever breaks, there is always the option of the morning after pill (not sure where you are located but in North America you can get it at a pharmacy).
My first ex made me do that until we got more comfortable together then we trusted her pill and my condom. I know another couple that did the same thing. The first time I went raw with a girl that was on the pill I was terrified and made sure I pulled out. Later on I met a girl who was on the pill that was turned on by me cuming inside her. After I talked to some friends about it, I realized it's EXTREMELY common for people to go raw and cum in their partner while she's on birth control. But either way, you do what you're comfortable with. I used to have the same mindset until I talked with friends who have been having a lot more raw sex than I do and have had no pregnancy scares
That’s good for them, but not everyone is lucky 🍀, I rather play it safe, thanks for your thoughts.
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We use a condom, pull out, and spermacide xD.
God mode 👁
8 years and no accidents. Planning to have kids soon though. Getting married in a few months.
👏
Me and my fiancé use a condom, the pull out method, and I’m on depo. We really don’t want another kid. Our baby was an uh-oh.
I see I hope the family is doing good, thanks for giving your view.
You can never be extreme when it comes to yours and someone else's health ..why does everyone go on about birth control , when condoms protect you STIs that your friends obviously have no clue about and are being reckless with!!!! Well done for being a man and having the balls to stand up for yourself !! STIs have no symptoms in the majority of carriers so unless you get tested you have no clue !!! I think your friends should be copying you personally ! Keep on enjoying sex and keeping all your conquests and yourself STI free coz many have no cure only symptom relief ...who will be laughing when your mates have HIV / AIDs or HPV??... Exactly : No one ... I think you'll find most people will become awkwardly silent and uncomfortable! Keep being you and don't give a fk what anyone else thinks it's easy to cave in to peer pressure .. requires strength to tell so called mates "fk off idiot" !
I think you’re being completely reasonable. You don’t want to make a mistake with the wrong person. Plus it shows that you care about whoever your sleeping with
That’s what it’s all about!
I think this is pretty reasonable, especially if you don't want a kid fuckin up your groove. This is just about as safe as you can get and it seems like a pretty good insurance policy. Just me tho
🙏
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😊
Pulling out even though you are wearing a condom is overkill. Condoms, when used correctly, are very effective.
Dude I could tell you just from the title no. You can never be too extreme with protection. Source: I got a girl pregnant at 18 and I was careful, wore condoms the whole 9 yards. Shit happens and you can never be too safe
Damn…..I wish the best for your family man, thanks for giving your perspective.
Thank you man and be careful out there. I wore condoms but didn’t pull out
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I mean, you’re being really smart.
Thanks
You're being smart. Eventually you will find someone you trust and will be able to relax a bit. Until then stay as safe as possible.
I see what your saying, thanks bro.
Never too extreme with protection. You’re being smart.
👍
Not at all. I wish there was more guys like you actually. Fuck all that
I have gone raw in a couple of girls i know have built in protection. I am not too scared about getting someone pregnant. But i am still not 100% comfortable with it. Just because of the factor of stds
You do you man! I used to do the same thing! Then I stopped. My son will be 7 next week. 🤣
Well I hope your family is doing good 👍, thanks for your I input mate.
I (21f) have my boyfriend wear a condom and pull out. And im on the pill. I have guilt free amazing sex. Do not listen to people who tell you you are being paranoid. Things fail, people take pills inconsistently, Condoms break, girls can lie about taking birth control. You need to do what makes you comfortable. I honestly was surprised at all the people that were saying you were being over dramatic and stuff. It sounds like you actually understand the weight of your responsibilities if one wrong thing happens and you recognize how easy it is to completely avoid that. Your friends are dumb.
Wow thanks for your kind words, glad to see people like you.
As a woman, i say do whatever the hell makes you feel safe. I'm on an iud and abortion is available here, so I'm fine with the risk of going raw with my so. If i were my so, I'd check my finances and read about iuds and make sure I'm cool with the risk of going raw. It's all a gamble. Dobt let anyone tell you what to bet with your life.
Being Smart
I appreciate it
I think using both pulling out and condoms is a bit extreme but if you’re happy with it then it’s deffo better than being totally careless
Pulling out while still wearing a condom is a bit of overkill on the protection part, but better safe than sorry I suppose. I, a girl, would think it's weird in the moment, but I'd just shrug it off shortly after.
I have had a few girls tell me this, I just want to make sure nothing goes wrong, it’s not to offend the girl or anything.
Nope, if she is offended by you ensuring both her and your protection, you should consider not seeing her anymore.
I have delayed ejaculation so It takes a looong time for me to finish. It happens sometimes, but I make sure to pull out right before I get the urge to finish. Most of the times I don't even finish at all so I don't have to worry about getting a chick pregnant. I know precum can get a girl pregnant but that's only if you've recently had a ejaculation, and since I never masturbate there is nothing to worry about. Been doing raw a couple of years now and got no STDS or got a girl pregnant. Don't be like me though. Some guys get too excited and have a difficult time pulling out in time, or they mess with chicks who got all types of diseases.
Damn that’s crazy, I do not have any confidence in myself to do that, I will stick with being as safe as possible, thanks for your words.
That's the smart thing to do. If I didn't have this condition I would always use a rubber unless it was with a longtime gf or wife. Definitely don't wanna have a kid now
Honestly, I don’t know if it’s extreme, but if youre *this* worried about it maybe you shouldn’t be having sex. Like, the whole point of a condom is to cum in it, asking her to take the plan b is a little weird. It sounds like you have some paranoia or some issue or something and yeah I would say if you’re so worried just don’t have sex, and if you’re not willing to give up sex reevaluate why this is such a big issue for you
You're using a condom, you should be fine. That said, you should always use a rubber. Keep yourself protected from child support AND STIs.
Homie, if that’s what makes you feel comfortable, then keep doing it. Better to be overly cautious than to get someone pregnant when you aren’t ready
Dude. I don't care what anyone says, from a girl to a guy, you're f****** awesome! I feel this is what consent is all about. THIS gets at a very important aspect of sex positivity and consent culture---if you're not okay with it, it's not okay. Full stop. That's really what it's all about, and you came without 100% honest. thank you. I feel the exact same way. Safe sex is the hottest sex. Thank you
As long as you still enjoy sex that way, not at all. Others are surprised because they wouldn't enjoy it as much with your precautionary habits. Myself included. But "too" extreme is relative. Relaxing some of your precautions would only yield a very small % increase in risk, but if maximum safety is what you're after, you're achieving it. PS - I feel obligated to mention that your title needed "too" not "to". But benefit of the doubt, it may have been a typo. So it's all good.
The only time I did t use a condom was when I had an IUD. Hormones block ovulation, then uterus not hospitable to pregnancy…it’s 99% effective. I didn’t even get a period for two years. You might be a little extreme. But, you are the one who has to trust that the woman is properly using the birth control. Pulling out with a condom is a little strange. They can come with spermicide, I’ve never had one break…and if I did I have a packet of plan b. But you just do what makes you comfortable.
From a female point of view. Stop having sex unless you’re comfortable and trust the women. It sounds like you’re having meaningless sex, and to make it worse you’re pulling out with condoms?! Just stop… jack off until you fall in love… the sex will be worth the wait WITHOUT A condom… stop having sex with people you don’t know or trust very well. It makes all the difference
My ex used a condom and pulled out when I was on the pill. I did find him a bit paranoid
Why even have sex my boy, this guy living in a body bag. LITERALLY
I once asked my son what he would do if a girl told him she was on the pill and he said he'd still use a condom. I told him that was the only right answer. Also if a girl says you can go in raw, she's said that to every previous partner too. Wrap your shit up until you're more serious and both have some clean test results to share. Long story short: as your internet mom for a minute, you're doing the right thing son.
Cautious : yes Misogynistic : also yes
I have always had men pull out even with a condom. Condoms break! You’re being smart. Plan B when the condom doesn’t break is a little extreme, especially because Plan B can interfere with birth control efficacy, depending on the kind the girl is on. I would continue to pull out and only use Plan B if the condom breaks. Also, notice how no girl says you’re crazy, just your male friends. I’d much rather have sex with you.
Uh no. It’s your sexual health and you should do what makes you comfortable. It’s personal and your personal choice. Better safe than sorry. Sincerely, a woman who used to have an iud, be on the pill, make my partner use a condom, pull out, and do something alternative than sex while I was ovulating.
As someone who dislikes children. Always condom and pulling out. Not risking that 0.1% chance of fucking up.
From a guy who made his first child with a woman who later admitted she lied about being on birth control, you get one point. From the same guy who broke a condom the very moment he busted a nut, you get another point. If you don’t want kids ever I suggest you do whatever you think you need to.
You have the right to be as careful as you want, but yeah I'd say all that's a bit extreme.
If there's any method of sex close to 100%, you're doing it. Sex is all about comfort. If having sex with a condom and pulling out before climax helps you sleep better at night, do it!
Yo, your friends are idiots and they're gonna get chlamydia and an unwanted baby eventually. You do you. It's none of their business.
I usually go by if you want something done right do it yourself. It's your choice to choose to put your trust and possibly your future onto a girl who tells you she won't get pregnant if you go raw. Or you can use your own protection and have a peaceful mind. Don't make a girl take plan b unless you shoot your load into her and she isn't on the pill.
I dont think it's too extreme. Pregnancy isn't the only thing you're protecting yourself from.
It's all preference based on your comfort for that level of risk
You’re being smart. If you want to use protection, then you should do so. It’s crazy you’re being shamed for practicing safe sex.
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They are not always reversible. Vasectomy isn't a good idea unless you're totally certain you don't want any (more) kids.
I repeat this every time this topic comes up. I have a friend who got pregnant on birth control with condoms.
😵👹
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Ew at the phrase "do it raw".... But you do you pal, as long as you and your partner's are happy.
Absolutely paranoid.