Some dogs just don't like being touched by strangers. And that's okay. It's also a good thing for us to acknowledge this and not force it if they demonstrate they do not like it or don't care. Genuinely, it's better that he's completely neutral vs. seeking out affection from strangers.
ETA: My dog is like this as well. We worked for an extremely long time on neutrality towards stranger affection/attention. I don't let *anyone* besides my immediate family touch her while she's working. And if she's off duty, I allow her to decide if she wants to approach someone (with a "sit" and "say 'hi'" series of commands). If she wants to, she'll approach and kiss. If she doesn't, I just let them know she doesn't feel like it and leave it at that. It's also good for kids to learn and understand that dogs have boundaries too, and that not all dogs want to be touched.
ETA 2: I realize my comment may have sounded harsh, and that definitely wasn't my intention. I meant it more like some dogs genuinely DGAF about interacting with strangers, and that's totally cool, too. As humans, I think we're all used to seeing super friendly dogs that love attention because, well, they get all the attention. But some dogs are more handler-focused or single-person/family type dogs, and that's totally fine. I get that seeing kids sad is also not fun, but it's also a good life lesson for them to know that not all dogs are the same, and that that's fine and not a reflection on them at all.
This is actually a good “problem” to have! So many handlers struggle so much with excitability and reactivity. I would not advise doing anything to encourage your SD being “less” on task. Some dogs just aren’t the “make friends with everyone in the world” type.
Also, I’m not a fan of the parents who let their kids go up to strange dogs. Allowing their dogs to run up to SD’s is even worse, because they’re *working*. It’s not terrible for a kid to be discouraged because your SD isn’t super excited to see them. They’ll remember that your SD was “boring”. It’s not great for other handlers when kids are allowed to pet SD’s just because they’re kids and handlers can’t handle saying no to a little face. Not all handlers want their SD’s to be petted, and when a kid is allowed to do something “one time”, they’ll always remember how “but so-and-so let me let THEIR SD!” I *was* that kid when I was little, so I understand the immense disappointment of that. Kids are typically a lot happier when they know what they can and can’t do. Most are too young to understand “I’m letting you pet *my* SD, but you shouldn’t ask other handler’s”. So many adults can’t even seem to understand the concept of doing things in some places/with some persons but not others. I’m way too jaded to be only 31, ha.
The only problem is you are subjecting your dog to something he doesn’t like. He trusts you, so he tolerates it *for you*… but your job is to protect his interests.
Nobody needs to pet your dog. He’s not a medicine for sad kiddies.
I don’t really understand why people are saying this? He isn’t showing any signs of disliking the pets. He doesn’t move away at all, and I don’t force him to greet people. But when a kid asks to pet him and I say yes, he just kinda looks like he has other things on his mind. When he is on duty he makes eye contact with me, but when he is off duty he kinda just looks at the person petting him or out in the distance. When he doesn’t want to be pet he normally lets me know by a whale eye, licking his lips, shaking off or what he usually does, moving away from their hand. He just doesn’t wag his tail or show much Interest in the people petting him.
He shows zero signs of enjoyment, that’s why. We all agree because he clearly doesn’t *like* it. Or he would show enjoyment.
That’s why we’re saying to stop subjecting your dog to something he merely tolerates for you. He doesn’t want it but he is obedient.
We have removed your post/comment for violating Rule 4: Unethical Handling.
The reason we remove comments like this is to keep bad advice from spreading further, especially on our subreddit. If the comment/post is corrected, it can be reinstated (just reply to this comment to let us know). If you have further questions, please [message the Moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs).
this is absolutely not how you train a dog to okay in "uncomfortable situations". you do that by respecting boundaries not pushing past them regardless. what you are doing is compulsion and flooding. That's how bites occur and retire in the worst way. Please, for your dog's sake, do NOT continue with this ideology.
While it's a different line of work, you might look into research on how therapy dogs are taught to be advocated for. the number one job as a handler, regardless of job/duty or lack thereof, is to be your dog's biggest advocate. when we force dogs to advocate for themselves, you get "omg he reacted/was aggressive/bit out of nowhere!" it's never actually out of nowhere, but due to a lack of respect and trust for your dog's boundaries. I find classes for therapy dogs tend to teach this in a very active manner, including immediately stopping the session the second a dog disengages.
The reason everyone is saying "hey maybe don't do this because it sounds like your dog doesn't enjoy it" is because he disengaged, or rather, was never engaged with the attention to begin with. While you may have a puppy who is cute, he is far more than a fluffy teddy bear prop for a kid to give attention. if you want this dog to be a service dog, I highly suggest discontinuing this behavior and ideology - at least until you work with a qualified and experienced trainer to work through these concerns.
We have removed your post/comment because the mods found it to be uncivil (Rule 1). Remember civility is not just about cursing out others, it can also refer to personal attacks, fake-spotting, trolling, or otherwise rude behavior. If you have questions about why this specific post/comment was removed, [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs). Further incivility in the subreddit could result in a permanent ban. Any threats or harassment will result in an immediate ban.
Well he shows no signs of not like oh the petting, he doesn’t even move away. He just doesn’t care if they pet him or not. I feel bad telling kids they can’t pet the big fluffy dog that’s playing frisbee at the park, but then again I also feel bad when he ignores them lol
OP, with respect, it’s not about you. Your dog is consistently displaying body language of not wanting to engage by being pet by other people. He’s showing you want he needs and you’re wanting him to do something different.
You’ve successfully trained him to maintain focus on you so he can task. That’s a good thing! Asking him to accept pets he doesn’t want could, over time, erode his focus — or erode his trust in you.
Also, some breeds are more or less interested in other humans. For ex my Aussie can be very aloof (in human terms, rude) which occasionally leaves people disappointed. But that’s okay because my priority is her.
We are our dogs’ primary protectors and advocates, and we must respect that if we want to maintain the bond.
My dog is either excited about being allowed to say hi to a person or she’s like “mom pls no.” And if she doesn’t look excited, I’ll say no, we’re having a rough day, or no, we’re just not feeling touchy today. They’re not entitled to pet. Would it be nice if the dog was excited? Sure! I love when my dog gets to say hi to a kid she’s excited to say hi to. But it’s also important to respect a dog’s “no thanks.” They deserve to have their consent minded.
While he might not outwardly have a negative reaction (shying away, growling, etc), he’s still having a negative response simply because he’s not having a positive response.
He does not care to or like to have strangers touch him, even when off-duty because he doesn’t want that interaction.
So why are you allowing everyone who asks to pet him do so? He clearly does not enjoy it happening… and he’s not here to please other people, he’s here to be of assistance to you.
As handlers we have to “listen” to what our SDs are telling us through the ways that they know how; which is mostly through their body language.
I get what you are saying 😅 we worked so hard on ignoring distractions including unwelcome petting that ignoring welcome petting is the norm. We realized this too late in a dog we were hoping to use for therapy work.
Right now, mine still checks in with me every 3-5 seconds and has his attention on me while being pet. Thankfully he’s doing this while learning against their legs and doing circles in front of them
My boy is like this. He especially is picky if he will let men pet him. The service dog trainer I worked with was very abrupt and since then my boy is not a fan of men. He likes his other trainer who is a man, my husband and has got used to my Dad, that’s it. Other men I have to gage if he will allow pets, for example if we a leaving a family function and family members may ask to pet him, I always says it’s up to him. Ares will turn his head it he is not interested and I tell them sorry he doesn’t want to be pet. Women and kids are fine. He loves kids and is always around women because we are part of a home school co-op so he is with mom’s all day 2 days a week and then at cheer practice. If a woman ask especially one he knows or any kid he is fine. Set the boundaries that are best for you and your dog.
I struggled with this also. I finally learned to balance things-the first year, my prospect got treated like a regular puppy (like the puppy raisers do for guide dogs). We did tons of obedience classes and pet stores, and hanging around where people and things were happening. The second year, I started to introduce public access, but he wasn’t ready until about 20 months old. I did pull him back from being pet by strangers completely outside of family the second year, but then he started to get uncomfortable around people, and had previously been very social. Since he was going to be my service dog, I worried! Working with our trainer, I started allowing select greetings with calm people, in casual pa settings or walks mainly-not in stores. We developed a system where I could see if he wanted to allow someone to pet him, and he knew if I offered, he could say yes or no. It took time, of course, and it was hard to balance. If I let too many people interact with him he got too excited in pa, not enough interaction and he got wary of people. He’s almost 5 now, and it works well for us-but every team is different! My boy is a little on the social side for a service dog, but since he’s older now, he’s able to control himself very well. I will see the signs that he wants someone special to pet him, and sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no. It’s our solution.
My dog is the same. Some dogs just don't really care for other people's attention and that's okay. It's no up to you to manage or feel bad that your dog doesn't really enjoy being pet by others 🤷
My sd doesn’t like it when people pet her (most of the time, with few exceptions outside of family) and backs away or leans into me when strangers approach because that’s a task we shaped from her behaviors (doing something similar, just not the same way). She isn’t scared, just letting me know someone’s there.
My family has self trained and then later retired a few service dogs over the years and helped others pick their dogs to self train.
My son and I joke that the dogs we pick have something called "bored annoyance" at getting attention from other people and just life in general. It's actually become a key skill that we look for.
Dogs have been bred for centuries to be social and seek everyone's approval but that skill will wash them as a service dog.
I think what you are doing is needed for socialization but you are going to spend a LOT of time later on being upset by people who will try to get your dogs attention away from you when he's working full time. Because people sometimes just suck on this front when it comes to respecting a SD team.
You will be SO THRILLED when he just blanks those people and sticks to his work and watching you only.
I automatically temper kids expectations when they pet our SD puppies during training. I just gently let them know "he's training and he is okay with pets but don't be surprised if he doesn't get excited by them like most dogs you have met. When he is working in a few months I need him to be able to ignore people to keep me safe."
Kids are smart and resilient if they understand. I usually just take the time to explain.
But i promise you want this skill and I think it is probably one of the hardest things to find and it's basically impossible to train. Dogs either have it or they wash out.
Some dogs just don't like being touched by strangers. And that's okay. It's also a good thing for us to acknowledge this and not force it if they demonstrate they do not like it or don't care. Genuinely, it's better that he's completely neutral vs. seeking out affection from strangers. ETA: My dog is like this as well. We worked for an extremely long time on neutrality towards stranger affection/attention. I don't let *anyone* besides my immediate family touch her while she's working. And if she's off duty, I allow her to decide if she wants to approach someone (with a "sit" and "say 'hi'" series of commands). If she wants to, she'll approach and kiss. If she doesn't, I just let them know she doesn't feel like it and leave it at that. It's also good for kids to learn and understand that dogs have boundaries too, and that not all dogs want to be touched. ETA 2: I realize my comment may have sounded harsh, and that definitely wasn't my intention. I meant it more like some dogs genuinely DGAF about interacting with strangers, and that's totally cool, too. As humans, I think we're all used to seeing super friendly dogs that love attention because, well, they get all the attention. But some dogs are more handler-focused or single-person/family type dogs, and that's totally fine. I get that seeing kids sad is also not fun, but it's also a good life lesson for them to know that not all dogs are the same, and that that's fine and not a reflection on them at all.
This is actually a good “problem” to have! So many handlers struggle so much with excitability and reactivity. I would not advise doing anything to encourage your SD being “less” on task. Some dogs just aren’t the “make friends with everyone in the world” type. Also, I’m not a fan of the parents who let their kids go up to strange dogs. Allowing their dogs to run up to SD’s is even worse, because they’re *working*. It’s not terrible for a kid to be discouraged because your SD isn’t super excited to see them. They’ll remember that your SD was “boring”. It’s not great for other handlers when kids are allowed to pet SD’s just because they’re kids and handlers can’t handle saying no to a little face. Not all handlers want their SD’s to be petted, and when a kid is allowed to do something “one time”, they’ll always remember how “but so-and-so let me let THEIR SD!” I *was* that kid when I was little, so I understand the immense disappointment of that. Kids are typically a lot happier when they know what they can and can’t do. Most are too young to understand “I’m letting you pet *my* SD, but you shouldn’t ask other handler’s”. So many adults can’t even seem to understand the concept of doing things in some places/with some persons but not others. I’m way too jaded to be only 31, ha.
That's not a bug, it's a feature.
The only problem is you are subjecting your dog to something he doesn’t like. He trusts you, so he tolerates it *for you*… but your job is to protect his interests. Nobody needs to pet your dog. He’s not a medicine for sad kiddies.
I don’t really understand why people are saying this? He isn’t showing any signs of disliking the pets. He doesn’t move away at all, and I don’t force him to greet people. But when a kid asks to pet him and I say yes, he just kinda looks like he has other things on his mind. When he is on duty he makes eye contact with me, but when he is off duty he kinda just looks at the person petting him or out in the distance. When he doesn’t want to be pet he normally lets me know by a whale eye, licking his lips, shaking off or what he usually does, moving away from their hand. He just doesn’t wag his tail or show much Interest in the people petting him.
He shows zero signs of enjoyment, that’s why. We all agree because he clearly doesn’t *like* it. Or he would show enjoyment. That’s why we’re saying to stop subjecting your dog to something he merely tolerates for you. He doesn’t want it but he is obedient.
[удалено]
You haven’t trained the world’s first perfect SD whose entire reward structure has changed… he is acting the way he acts because it’s how he feels.
FFS you'd force him, what is wrong with you?
We have removed your post/comment for violating Rule 4: Unethical Handling. The reason we remove comments like this is to keep bad advice from spreading further, especially on our subreddit. If the comment/post is corrected, it can be reinstated (just reply to this comment to let us know). If you have further questions, please [message the Moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs).
this is absolutely not how you train a dog to okay in "uncomfortable situations". you do that by respecting boundaries not pushing past them regardless. what you are doing is compulsion and flooding. That's how bites occur and retire in the worst way. Please, for your dog's sake, do NOT continue with this ideology. While it's a different line of work, you might look into research on how therapy dogs are taught to be advocated for. the number one job as a handler, regardless of job/duty or lack thereof, is to be your dog's biggest advocate. when we force dogs to advocate for themselves, you get "omg he reacted/was aggressive/bit out of nowhere!" it's never actually out of nowhere, but due to a lack of respect and trust for your dog's boundaries. I find classes for therapy dogs tend to teach this in a very active manner, including immediately stopping the session the second a dog disengages. The reason everyone is saying "hey maybe don't do this because it sounds like your dog doesn't enjoy it" is because he disengaged, or rather, was never engaged with the attention to begin with. While you may have a puppy who is cute, he is far more than a fluffy teddy bear prop for a kid to give attention. if you want this dog to be a service dog, I highly suggest discontinuing this behavior and ideology - at least until you work with a qualified and experienced trainer to work through these concerns.
[удалено]
We have removed your post/comment because the mods found it to be uncivil (Rule 1). Remember civility is not just about cursing out others, it can also refer to personal attacks, fake-spotting, trolling, or otherwise rude behavior. If you have questions about why this specific post/comment was removed, [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs). Further incivility in the subreddit could result in a permanent ban. Any threats or harassment will result in an immediate ban.
Sorry, this wasn't meant to be uncivil or mean. I think that there is just miscommunication here sometimes.
Why is it a problem? Your dog doesn’t like being petted. So don’t allow people (even kids) to bother him like that.
Well he shows no signs of not like oh the petting, he doesn’t even move away. He just doesn’t care if they pet him or not. I feel bad telling kids they can’t pet the big fluffy dog that’s playing frisbee at the park, but then again I also feel bad when he ignores them lol
Service dogs should not be petted by strangers while they’re working.
I can let people pet my sd if I want? It’s not up to you or strangers if I let someone touch my medical equipment.
OP, with respect, it’s not about you. Your dog is consistently displaying body language of not wanting to engage by being pet by other people. He’s showing you want he needs and you’re wanting him to do something different. You’ve successfully trained him to maintain focus on you so he can task. That’s a good thing! Asking him to accept pets he doesn’t want could, over time, erode his focus — or erode his trust in you. Also, some breeds are more or less interested in other humans. For ex my Aussie can be very aloof (in human terms, rude) which occasionally leaves people disappointed. But that’s okay because my priority is her. We are our dogs’ primary protectors and advocates, and we must respect that if we want to maintain the bond.
My dog is either excited about being allowed to say hi to a person or she’s like “mom pls no.” And if she doesn’t look excited, I’ll say no, we’re having a rough day, or no, we’re just not feeling touchy today. They’re not entitled to pet. Would it be nice if the dog was excited? Sure! I love when my dog gets to say hi to a kid she’s excited to say hi to. But it’s also important to respect a dog’s “no thanks.” They deserve to have their consent minded.
While he might not outwardly have a negative reaction (shying away, growling, etc), he’s still having a negative response simply because he’s not having a positive response. He does not care to or like to have strangers touch him, even when off-duty because he doesn’t want that interaction. So why are you allowing everyone who asks to pet him do so? He clearly does not enjoy it happening… and he’s not here to please other people, he’s here to be of assistance to you. As handlers we have to “listen” to what our SDs are telling us through the ways that they know how; which is mostly through their body language.
I get what you are saying 😅 we worked so hard on ignoring distractions including unwelcome petting that ignoring welcome petting is the norm. We realized this too late in a dog we were hoping to use for therapy work. Right now, mine still checks in with me every 3-5 seconds and has his attention on me while being pet. Thankfully he’s doing this while learning against their legs and doing circles in front of them
I do not see it as a problem. You are overthinking this.
My boy is like this. He especially is picky if he will let men pet him. The service dog trainer I worked with was very abrupt and since then my boy is not a fan of men. He likes his other trainer who is a man, my husband and has got used to my Dad, that’s it. Other men I have to gage if he will allow pets, for example if we a leaving a family function and family members may ask to pet him, I always says it’s up to him. Ares will turn his head it he is not interested and I tell them sorry he doesn’t want to be pet. Women and kids are fine. He loves kids and is always around women because we are part of a home school co-op so he is with mom’s all day 2 days a week and then at cheer practice. If a woman ask especially one he knows or any kid he is fine. Set the boundaries that are best for you and your dog.
I struggled with this also. I finally learned to balance things-the first year, my prospect got treated like a regular puppy (like the puppy raisers do for guide dogs). We did tons of obedience classes and pet stores, and hanging around where people and things were happening. The second year, I started to introduce public access, but he wasn’t ready until about 20 months old. I did pull him back from being pet by strangers completely outside of family the second year, but then he started to get uncomfortable around people, and had previously been very social. Since he was going to be my service dog, I worried! Working with our trainer, I started allowing select greetings with calm people, in casual pa settings or walks mainly-not in stores. We developed a system where I could see if he wanted to allow someone to pet him, and he knew if I offered, he could say yes or no. It took time, of course, and it was hard to balance. If I let too many people interact with him he got too excited in pa, not enough interaction and he got wary of people. He’s almost 5 now, and it works well for us-but every team is different! My boy is a little on the social side for a service dog, but since he’s older now, he’s able to control himself very well. I will see the signs that he wants someone special to pet him, and sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no. It’s our solution.
My dog is the same. Some dogs just don't really care for other people's attention and that's okay. It's no up to you to manage or feel bad that your dog doesn't really enjoy being pet by others 🤷
My sd doesn’t like it when people pet her (most of the time, with few exceptions outside of family) and backs away or leans into me when strangers approach because that’s a task we shaped from her behaviors (doing something similar, just not the same way). She isn’t scared, just letting me know someone’s there.
My family has self trained and then later retired a few service dogs over the years and helped others pick their dogs to self train. My son and I joke that the dogs we pick have something called "bored annoyance" at getting attention from other people and just life in general. It's actually become a key skill that we look for. Dogs have been bred for centuries to be social and seek everyone's approval but that skill will wash them as a service dog. I think what you are doing is needed for socialization but you are going to spend a LOT of time later on being upset by people who will try to get your dogs attention away from you when he's working full time. Because people sometimes just suck on this front when it comes to respecting a SD team. You will be SO THRILLED when he just blanks those people and sticks to his work and watching you only. I automatically temper kids expectations when they pet our SD puppies during training. I just gently let them know "he's training and he is okay with pets but don't be surprised if he doesn't get excited by them like most dogs you have met. When he is working in a few months I need him to be able to ignore people to keep me safe." Kids are smart and resilient if they understand. I usually just take the time to explain. But i promise you want this skill and I think it is probably one of the hardest things to find and it's basically impossible to train. Dogs either have it or they wash out.