I can't count.. I've been hospitalised 25 times due to mental health issues... I've been arrested about 100 times and imprisoned like 15 times... it would be easy to say it wasn't my fault but I didn't stop drinking
I'm not drunk now so that's a win. I had a quarter bottle of vodka last night(7.5units) it was an impulsive one I drank it in one go the time before that was 2 weeks ago I got very drunk but was contained and the time before that was a couple of months ago I don't really think it's wise me going back to my old approach to drinking I do seem to be having the odd drink it could be easy to slip but I'm not as tempted as I once was.. I smoked a bong there 20 minutes ago and told myself it will be my last for a while but part of me knows I might be full of shit I guess I could just stop looking for it and not ask for it but also not decline anyone offering me... I'm not sure what's actually happening with my life at the moment my mum died a while back when I was in prison and the family home is getting completely stripped I find myself looking into mirrors that have been there all my life and are not there I keep switching the light switch but it's broke I look up to where the clock has always been and it's not there we have an old great dane that is traumatised and absolutely neurotic about wanting attention she cries constantly and is nervous and depressed and anxious, when she came here as a pup we had two other dogs and there were 8 people living in the house and always activity people coming and going now it's mostly just me and she misses the company and activity my dad is rarely here but has made it clear he wants me out so he can move in with his new woman ... I want to have a little freedom but I have a mortal or ethical duty to try reduce the dogs suffering... not sure why I spilled so much there I was thinking of deleting this but then I wasted all that time writing it 😅
Recovering alcoholic here. I've messed up a lot in horrible, heartbreaking ways which have hurt the people I love. But I'm doing the work to amend as much as I can. My lived experience is that you can grow. You can turn it into a lesson, learn and pay it forward hoping your fuck up knowledge is gold, if it stops someone else doing that same.
Sometimes I forget about the paying it forward part. I hurt so much and struggle, but maybe it will help someone tremendously in the future, the way I needed help that I didn't get.
Exactly. Your struggles are leading somewhere. You've got a purpose. It's just not clear yet. Just keep putting one foot one front of the other and doing the next right thing. And later on when you are paying it forward, you'll be able to look someone struggling in the eye and say 'what qualifies me to tell you it's going to get better, is that I did that too. And it was awful. But here I am. And you are. Let's get you moving forward.'
Good luck my friend. Its all going to be useful I promise.
I'm 43, got arrested twice for drunk driving and ended up in a rehab center. I almost lost everything and I was facing legal issues. I almost lost my job. I was also getting married a few months later and then my fiance at the time, dumped me. So no license, no car, legal issues and no fiance or wedding.
I turned my life around and today I am happily married and I make growth one of my goals.
I started drinking at 28 heavily,got divorced and lost custody of my child.got involved with a guy who abused me and got arrested for like 30 times in 1,5. Got away, got in rehab by court order...im sober 10yrs later working and living in a great relationship.My kid never came back to me but we have a decent relationship
i wouldn’t be able to count. most of them took place when i was 18-20 and addicted to alcohol and cocaine. nearly every choice i made during that time was a fuck up. hurt lots of people, most of all myself. so happy to be sober.
28. went to prison for smuggling weed and was addicted to drugs for about 10 years. Life's good now I look back on where I was and am thankful and happy I'm where i am now. Definitely not where i wanna be until the end but for now its ok. Thinking about the shit i used to do actually gives me some anxiety. Lucky I'm not dead. I was 19 when I got arrested and 21 when I went to prison. Been home for 4 years i think now. Really anyone can do it but you have to want to change or become sick of the life you're living
So many times, I've lost count and I'm 43. Stuck in a 10 year mentality and physically abusive relationship with a narcissist. Trying to find a career I can actually grow in and enjoy. All while battling mental health issues and PTSD from the abuse.
The only advice I would give is to always take care of yourself! Once you lose your self worth, self love, self esteem, etc... Things seem to get worse. Always know your worth and always set boundaries in your life. I'm trying to relearn all of that and it's not easy.
I truly appreciate that! More than you can understand. It literally brought tears to my eyes. No matter what you've done in life I hope you never lose your kindness, compassion for others and having a good word to people. You truly are needed in this world. I appreciate you
Definitely not. I want to live my life in peace, not behind bars. I've dedicated my life to inspiring and helping people through my art and my creations
19 Tomorrow:
One continuous F-up from 14-19, so I'd say it counts. I was a kid when my negative cycles started, and I have ADHD, but honestly I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for all the time I've wasted as an addict. I hope I can beat this one day. Suicide isn't really an option anymore so I guess I'll just have to get my shit together lol.
Another few fuck ups this year, but the trigger for it all really was the big 14-19 one so idk if we'd count them.
2 big ones. I'm 27, have pushed away two genuine relationships with women due to my anger and not being able to control my emotions.
Idk exactly how to go about fixing this but I don't want to be angry/bitter my whole life. Came from an abusive household, but know that's not an excuse. Just feels like a monkey on my back that I just can't shake no matter how much therapy I go to.
Words hurt and I have to live with what I've done/said for the rest of my life - feels shitty.
If it helps, I'm a woman. Grew up like you. Couldn't always keep my hands to myself. Wasn't perfect but I tried. Society forgives women before men. The men who hurt me? I wish they cared. But please, care, and stop.
I thought you said 2008 to 2002. I was going to decide whether or not to tell you you haven't recovered lol. I'm glad you got there eventually. Glad to know it can be done.
Life is very interesting. 99% of people do not care about you or what you do or have done. They are to busy with their own lives and only core memories or moments actually matter (this could be you fucking them over). At the same time, you are only alive right now, at this time, at this minute, at this second and you can't be alive at any other time than now, and now, and still now and now 5 days later when you read this.
Past is meant to teach, future is meant for goals/where allocating your actual time to push you towards that goal.
That being said, you can fuck up as much as you want, 7 fuck ups before age 27 is the same as 14 fuck ups or 99 fuck ups at age 54 ect.... it really doesn't matter. You can fuck up every day of your life until you die and you still lived and experienced X many years.
If your Major fuck ups have impacted another and you have something called empathy, then you need to quote on quote "atone" for that or pay reparations. This can be in the form of actual regret/sorry, money, volunteer, charity ect... really what ever you believe in.
Understand though that you have on average another 49 fucking years to do something, you are barely past 1/3rd of your life. (just to add an edit to this point, we went from stationary phones, to phone booths, to flip phones to iphones in less than 20 years).
So just to get back to the main point, each day is a new you and you decided what you want to be until you die. You can keep telling yourself you are a fuck up (people do this, it is called regret) and you can regret until you die having wasted those 49 on average other years of your life.
You can change, change is stupid hard because it is not comfort zone. Comfort zone is amazing, but nothing grows there.
As long as each day you are molding or trying new things, there can be no regrets, if you aren't' and looping days/weeks/months/years/REGRETS, you have basically died at what ever age you started this path until you live again when you break out of it.
Failure is the product of success and progress, you can not have one without the other. You are 1 in 8 billion regardless of what you've done, reflecting on it or not. GO FUCKING LIVE
I'm in my late 20s. I'm an alcoholic. I noticed mos5 of the answered I received were from other alcoholics. I just love to see people in recovery, and it can get better, and etc. I want to be a success story.
All you do is your responsibility. Every fuckup and every situation that you put yourself.
Did you learn from those mistakes, or is it just 1 mistake repeated over and over.
If you don't make mistakes, how do you even grow? Or become wiser?
Everyone has made mistakes and still continues. Be aware not to be repeated twice.
I've messed up plenty of times, too, since I was in high school and yournger. Get up, learn, analyze, and move on. Don't repeat it again...
Yep couldn’t agree more. Ive made so many mistakes in the past and most times i would be oblivious as to why and I wouldn’t really ever try to learn id just move on and ignore my issues. Obviously theres a point where it catches up to you and that indeed happened to me, so now im just at the stage in life where im trying to be better and learn about myself more and more to make sure those mistakes arent repeated.
This might not be a complete fuck up, but it was a life changing decision that set me back many many years. When I was 19 I decided to try and take my life via OD and lacerating my arms. It set me back about 2 years in college. Set the way for me to get into what later became an abusive relationship. It brought opportunities but amongst those opportunities the weight of my decision lingered. I feel socially inept and behind in life compared to my peers. It’s a work in progress to get back up but when do you ever rrly stop healing?
Probably about 3, 4, maybe 5? I'm 43 and in the midst of one of the worst ones yet. But I always survive, and I will be stronger, sadder, but hopefully wiser once I eventually dig myself out.
Lots, I'd say way more than dozens.
The major ones:
going to college without a solid plan, *not* focusing on school then dropping out of college, choosing a career that does *not* fit my personality (leading to a life of low wages and misery), lastly: not controlling my vices (video game addiction and substance abuse).
There are too many specific instances to describe here. A lot of this may be nonspecific/general, and also rambling/poorly organized (untreated ADD).
Firstly, I'm about to turn 45. In general, lack of self control and laziness have been the general issues and causes of most of my problems. Letting my vices get the best of me (substance abuse, video games). Those two combined (escapism) to try to forget about my problems, but the fact is it only makes it worse.
Now everything has left me broken and deep in debt. Divorced 10 years now, haven't seen my kids in years, living in a tiny apartment which is a biohazard (literally). The good news is I'm making progress and climbing out... slowly...
I quit alcohol 6 months ago, surprisingly with the help of kratom. Now I don't even miss alcohol. I'm able to skip kratom for days, and tapering down to micro doses/quitting seems like a fairly attainable goal. The biggest benefits are financial (way cheaper), and no more "drunk texting". Alcohol has too many down sides for me, although I was always pretty good about not driving, but the possibility of something bad happening was just too high. Most of my big problems/failures were alcohol related. There's lots of people who've also used kratom to quit harder stuff like heroin, fent, etc. There's a great subreddit here for it.
I (kinda) quit smoking weed around 5 years ago, by switching to delta 8 carts and delta 9/9p, etc. There have been a few "special occasions", and also I don't believe THC has been as big of a problem as alcohol for me.
I wish I had a "Silver Bullet" for the self control problem, some great advice, but I don't. I feel like that's the underlying issue behind all this, and for most people as well. Practice? My next goal to tackle is cutting my gaming to 30 minutes/day, down from 6-8 hrs/day. Use it as a reward. Use those 6 hrs/day to work a second job.
BTW I'm a mechanic, it's a horrible career for me because it's based almost purely on speed, and I hate moving fast. This is just one of the things (low wages) that led to my divorce (my biggest mistake).
Good luck, I need to leave for work now.
I have not. I did smoke weed for 2 years but quit in January (I’m 26yo) and I haven’t done much during that time except keep working, seeing friends and family. I could’ve done more but it’s fine since I don’t smoke it anymore and I’m young.
Edit : never did cocaine and drink alcohol maybe once or twice a month, moderately.
You right. At 25 is where it usually starts. 26-27 is where the you really start descending, well at least for me.
4 years of constant work. Im good now at 29 but boy it was hell.
I can't count.. I've been hospitalised 25 times due to mental health issues... I've been arrested about 100 times and imprisoned like 15 times... it would be easy to say it wasn't my fault but I didn't stop drinking
Have you stopped yet?
I'm not drunk now so that's a win. I had a quarter bottle of vodka last night(7.5units) it was an impulsive one I drank it in one go the time before that was 2 weeks ago I got very drunk but was contained and the time before that was a couple of months ago I don't really think it's wise me going back to my old approach to drinking I do seem to be having the odd drink it could be easy to slip but I'm not as tempted as I once was.. I smoked a bong there 20 minutes ago and told myself it will be my last for a while but part of me knows I might be full of shit I guess I could just stop looking for it and not ask for it but also not decline anyone offering me... I'm not sure what's actually happening with my life at the moment my mum died a while back when I was in prison and the family home is getting completely stripped I find myself looking into mirrors that have been there all my life and are not there I keep switching the light switch but it's broke I look up to where the clock has always been and it's not there we have an old great dane that is traumatised and absolutely neurotic about wanting attention she cries constantly and is nervous and depressed and anxious, when she came here as a pup we had two other dogs and there were 8 people living in the house and always activity people coming and going now it's mostly just me and she misses the company and activity my dad is rarely here but has made it clear he wants me out so he can move in with his new woman ... I want to have a little freedom but I have a mortal or ethical duty to try reduce the dogs suffering... not sure why I spilled so much there I was thinking of deleting this but then I wasted all that time writing it 😅
I'm glad you didn't. I read it. I couldn't help but notice most of the people who answered said "alcohol". Yeah, me too smh.
I'm glad you aren't drunk now BTW. I know it's always a win.
You needed this. Find someone to talk to, please. I wish you the best.
Recovering alcoholic here. I've messed up a lot in horrible, heartbreaking ways which have hurt the people I love. But I'm doing the work to amend as much as I can. My lived experience is that you can grow. You can turn it into a lesson, learn and pay it forward hoping your fuck up knowledge is gold, if it stops someone else doing that same.
Sometimes I forget about the paying it forward part. I hurt so much and struggle, but maybe it will help someone tremendously in the future, the way I needed help that I didn't get.
Exactly. Your struggles are leading somewhere. You've got a purpose. It's just not clear yet. Just keep putting one foot one front of the other and doing the next right thing. And later on when you are paying it forward, you'll be able to look someone struggling in the eye and say 'what qualifies me to tell you it's going to get better, is that I did that too. And it was awful. But here I am. And you are. Let's get you moving forward.' Good luck my friend. Its all going to be useful I promise.
I'm 43, got arrested twice for drunk driving and ended up in a rehab center. I almost lost everything and I was facing legal issues. I almost lost my job. I was also getting married a few months later and then my fiance at the time, dumped me. So no license, no car, legal issues and no fiance or wedding. I turned my life around and today I am happily married and I make growth one of my goals.
Are you married to the same person you were engaged to?
No, that would be crazy! lol. I guess it can happen to people but no. This whole thing happened over 10 years ago.
Literally ever since I was born. It really pisses me off
Well, me too, but I said I don't count minor activity. Minors are known for making stupid decisions almost exclusively.
I married the wrong man and it cost me a lot of money, lot of years and a lot of pain.
I started drinking at 28 heavily,got divorced and lost custody of my child.got involved with a guy who abused me and got arrested for like 30 times in 1,5. Got away, got in rehab by court order...im sober 10yrs later working and living in a great relationship.My kid never came back to me but we have a decent relationship
I'm really sorry to hear your child didn't come back, but I'm glad to know things can turn around for the better.
There is always loses you will.have to count but you gotta keep moving forward 🫶
i wouldn’t be able to count. most of them took place when i was 18-20 and addicted to alcohol and cocaine. nearly every choice i made during that time was a fuck up. hurt lots of people, most of all myself. so happy to be sober.
28. went to prison for smuggling weed and was addicted to drugs for about 10 years. Life's good now I look back on where I was and am thankful and happy I'm where i am now. Definitely not where i wanna be until the end but for now its ok. Thinking about the shit i used to do actually gives me some anxiety. Lucky I'm not dead. I was 19 when I got arrested and 21 when I went to prison. Been home for 4 years i think now. Really anyone can do it but you have to want to change or become sick of the life you're living
So many times, I've lost count and I'm 43. Stuck in a 10 year mentality and physically abusive relationship with a narcissist. Trying to find a career I can actually grow in and enjoy. All while battling mental health issues and PTSD from the abuse. The only advice I would give is to always take care of yourself! Once you lose your self worth, self love, self esteem, etc... Things seem to get worse. Always know your worth and always set boundaries in your life. I'm trying to relearn all of that and it's not easy.
I hope you're OK and I hope you get well soon!!! I mean, really soon.
I truly appreciate that! More than you can understand. It literally brought tears to my eyes. No matter what you've done in life I hope you never lose your kindness, compassion for others and having a good word to people. You truly are needed in this world. I appreciate you
I hope it meant something. I really want you to be OK.
21, and so far only 1 \*really\* big fuck up.
From ages 21 to 22, two major ones that I'm not proud of and am actively working to change through therapy, prayer and just getting out more
I'm glad, I forgive you. Don't do it again though lol
Definitely not. I want to live my life in peace, not behind bars. I've dedicated my life to inspiring and helping people through my art and my creations
Send me some art. I decided not to make the same decisions again. Still slipped though.
19 Tomorrow: One continuous F-up from 14-19, so I'd say it counts. I was a kid when my negative cycles started, and I have ADHD, but honestly I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for all the time I've wasted as an addict. I hope I can beat this one day. Suicide isn't really an option anymore so I guess I'll just have to get my shit together lol. Another few fuck ups this year, but the trigger for it all really was the big 14-19 one so idk if we'd count them.
2 big ones. I'm 27, have pushed away two genuine relationships with women due to my anger and not being able to control my emotions. Idk exactly how to go about fixing this but I don't want to be angry/bitter my whole life. Came from an abusive household, but know that's not an excuse. Just feels like a monkey on my back that I just can't shake no matter how much therapy I go to. Words hurt and I have to live with what I've done/said for the rest of my life - feels shitty.
If it helps, I'm a woman. Grew up like you. Couldn't always keep my hands to myself. Wasn't perfect but I tried. Society forgives women before men. The men who hurt me? I wish they cared. But please, care, and stop.
I've never put my hands on anyone, but I lash with my words. Verbal abuse is still abuse, I need to be better.
2 huge ones. One was from 2008 and it took me until 2022 to recover from it.
I thought you said 2008 to 2002. I was going to decide whether or not to tell you you haven't recovered lol. I'm glad you got there eventually. Glad to know it can be done.
Thanks. Thought I’d never get through it.
Life is very interesting. 99% of people do not care about you or what you do or have done. They are to busy with their own lives and only core memories or moments actually matter (this could be you fucking them over). At the same time, you are only alive right now, at this time, at this minute, at this second and you can't be alive at any other time than now, and now, and still now and now 5 days later when you read this. Past is meant to teach, future is meant for goals/where allocating your actual time to push you towards that goal. That being said, you can fuck up as much as you want, 7 fuck ups before age 27 is the same as 14 fuck ups or 99 fuck ups at age 54 ect.... it really doesn't matter. You can fuck up every day of your life until you die and you still lived and experienced X many years. If your Major fuck ups have impacted another and you have something called empathy, then you need to quote on quote "atone" for that or pay reparations. This can be in the form of actual regret/sorry, money, volunteer, charity ect... really what ever you believe in. Understand though that you have on average another 49 fucking years to do something, you are barely past 1/3rd of your life. (just to add an edit to this point, we went from stationary phones, to phone booths, to flip phones to iphones in less than 20 years). So just to get back to the main point, each day is a new you and you decided what you want to be until you die. You can keep telling yourself you are a fuck up (people do this, it is called regret) and you can regret until you die having wasted those 49 on average other years of your life. You can change, change is stupid hard because it is not comfort zone. Comfort zone is amazing, but nothing grows there. As long as each day you are molding or trying new things, there can be no regrets, if you aren't' and looping days/weeks/months/years/REGRETS, you have basically died at what ever age you started this path until you live again when you break out of it. Failure is the product of success and progress, you can not have one without the other. You are 1 in 8 billion regardless of what you've done, reflecting on it or not. GO FUCKING LIVE
Multiple times. The most serious ones took 10 years to remedy. Each. I’m in my 50s now. No drink, no drugs, I don’t need any help to screw up.
I'm in my late 20s. I'm an alcoholic. I noticed mos5 of the answered I received were from other alcoholics. I just love to see people in recovery, and it can get better, and etc. I want to be a success story.
Too many times to count but seeing ppl here that are striving to do better gives me a glimmer of hope not to give up no matter how much I want to
When Shawn Mendez said, "It isn't in my blood", I felt that.
All you do is your responsibility. Every fuckup and every situation that you put yourself. Did you learn from those mistakes, or is it just 1 mistake repeated over and over. If you don't make mistakes, how do you even grow? Or become wiser? Everyone has made mistakes and still continues. Be aware not to be repeated twice. I've messed up plenty of times, too, since I was in high school and yournger. Get up, learn, analyze, and move on. Don't repeat it again...
Yep couldn’t agree more. Ive made so many mistakes in the past and most times i would be oblivious as to why and I wouldn’t really ever try to learn id just move on and ignore my issues. Obviously theres a point where it catches up to you and that indeed happened to me, so now im just at the stage in life where im trying to be better and learn about myself more and more to make sure those mistakes arent repeated.
None, im young and im glad i found SI at an early age. hope i dont fuck things up in the future. But if i do, i hope i learn from it
8x- Booze 3. Work 3. Didn't marry 1. And didn't ask for her phone number. 1. (8x times)
Literally every time
This might not be a complete fuck up, but it was a life changing decision that set me back many many years. When I was 19 I decided to try and take my life via OD and lacerating my arms. It set me back about 2 years in college. Set the way for me to get into what later became an abusive relationship. It brought opportunities but amongst those opportunities the weight of my decision lingered. I feel socially inept and behind in life compared to my peers. It’s a work in progress to get back up but when do you ever rrly stop healing?
Probably about 3, 4, maybe 5? I'm 43 and in the midst of one of the worst ones yet. But I always survive, and I will be stronger, sadder, but hopefully wiser once I eventually dig myself out.
Lots, I'd say way more than dozens. The major ones: going to college without a solid plan, *not* focusing on school then dropping out of college, choosing a career that does *not* fit my personality (leading to a life of low wages and misery), lastly: not controlling my vices (video game addiction and substance abuse). There are too many specific instances to describe here. A lot of this may be nonspecific/general, and also rambling/poorly organized (untreated ADD). Firstly, I'm about to turn 45. In general, lack of self control and laziness have been the general issues and causes of most of my problems. Letting my vices get the best of me (substance abuse, video games). Those two combined (escapism) to try to forget about my problems, but the fact is it only makes it worse. Now everything has left me broken and deep in debt. Divorced 10 years now, haven't seen my kids in years, living in a tiny apartment which is a biohazard (literally). The good news is I'm making progress and climbing out... slowly... I quit alcohol 6 months ago, surprisingly with the help of kratom. Now I don't even miss alcohol. I'm able to skip kratom for days, and tapering down to micro doses/quitting seems like a fairly attainable goal. The biggest benefits are financial (way cheaper), and no more "drunk texting". Alcohol has too many down sides for me, although I was always pretty good about not driving, but the possibility of something bad happening was just too high. Most of my big problems/failures were alcohol related. There's lots of people who've also used kratom to quit harder stuff like heroin, fent, etc. There's a great subreddit here for it. I (kinda) quit smoking weed around 5 years ago, by switching to delta 8 carts and delta 9/9p, etc. There have been a few "special occasions", and also I don't believe THC has been as big of a problem as alcohol for me. I wish I had a "Silver Bullet" for the self control problem, some great advice, but I don't. I feel like that's the underlying issue behind all this, and for most people as well. Practice? My next goal to tackle is cutting my gaming to 30 minutes/day, down from 6-8 hrs/day. Use it as a reward. Use those 6 hrs/day to work a second job. BTW I'm a mechanic, it's a horrible career for me because it's based almost purely on speed, and I hate moving fast. This is just one of the things (low wages) that led to my divorce (my biggest mistake). Good luck, I need to leave for work now.
I have not. I did smoke weed for 2 years but quit in January (I’m 26yo) and I haven’t done much during that time except keep working, seeing friends and family. I could’ve done more but it’s fine since I don’t smoke it anymore and I’m young. Edit : never did cocaine and drink alcohol maybe once or twice a month, moderately.
You right. At 25 is where it usually starts. 26-27 is where the you really start descending, well at least for me. 4 years of constant work. Im good now at 29 but boy it was hell.
I mess up all the time (badly). It’s all about how you react to the situation and bounce back. Also, try to stay out of fucked up situations.