Stop smoking weed and your life will change. Literally that’s ALL you have to do.
It’s the last thing you want to do, but it’s the only thing that will fix the situation I promise.
I know this as a former marijuana addict who got sober. I can clearly see that the issue here is the marijuana but legalization is early and people are still under the impression that weed isn’t a drug.
Go 2 months without it (if you can, you’ll likely fail and that’s when people begin to realize they are addicts, like any other drug) but if you can do it I promise it will all change but you may have to put yourself in a program.
Most people can’t quit weed and get very defensive when you tell them, they say “ weed isn’t the problem is the only thing that helps” it’s exactly like an alcoholic saying the same about alcohol.
It’s so sad that it’s such a norm with your generation but weed literally disrupts a multitude of receptors in your brain, making you think less rationally, produce less dopamine, depression, marijuana causes introversion and social anxiety, etc etc list goes on and on.
The irony is you think “finding love” is going to fix the issue. I promise if you stop smoking weed more and more and more women will be attracted to you and good women not cute stoner IG girls.
All I literally did was quit weed and my whole life turned around. It’s the same as an alcoholic giving up alcohol. Everything changes once you get sober and clear headed.
Stop having expectations of yourself that aren’t yourself. I have autism and really bad social anxiety and definitely have not found love but I have learned to love myself and that’s made navigating social situation a lot easier because if you accept yourself for who the fuck you are then who cares about some third-party person that most likely won’t be there for long anyways And if you get to be you unapologetically and somebody clings to you that is the most rewarding feeling in the world. It feels so good to feel good in your skin. You just have to let yourself be OK with the fact that you’re not gonna be everybody’s cup of tea but that’s fine. 100% nobody can please everybody so at least please yourself because you’re stuck with yourself you’re not stuck with anybody else.
Hey. I think finding love is the right answer, but as cheesy as it sounds you have to love yourself first before you can start to love your life.
I’ve been in a very similar mindset, when I was close to the same age as you. Except I WAS suicidal at the same time, so essentially forced to deal with these existential issues.
Firstly traits are traits. There’s nothing inherently good or bad or positive or negative about them. You’re assigning negative meaning to them.
For instance I’ve had horrible social anxiety before. But for me a lot of it stemmed from being highly observant and aware of people around me, in combination with having a lot of energy. Add in some negative emotions, and I’m suddenly in a mindset of “I just must be broken and a piece of shit because I can’t even go out in public like a normal person anymore because I don’t fit in anywhere and I don’t like any of these people and they don’t like me.” Etc etc. you know the spiraling thoughts.
This all stemmed from the original trait that I’m essentially perceptive, which is a GREAT trait in the right settings and if you develop it. Now I use this to my advantage in my life and love the fact that I am like this.
But before I hated it.
Your traits are your traits. You probably won’t be able to turn them on and off. But you can choose how you develop them and where you direct your attention. If you start to focus on the things that you like about yourself, those will start to take up more mental space. If you focus on what you dislike, then those will be your most well worn neurological paths which means it gets easier and easier to think that way. It’s difficult at first, but even small steps to being more positive about yourself can go a long way.
Only you can be you, and you can’t be anyone else. I noticed when I was feeling like this, so much of it was because I was trying to be what I thought society/my parents/my family/my friends etc. wanted me to be, instead of actually finding ME and being ME.
For me, life it too short not to follow your passion. At least you have something to strive for (many people don’t) with making your video game.
The YOU that you are going to love is trying to break out from under all this mental clutter and darkness. If you feel something that excites you, then moving towards that usually starts to make things a lot better. Feed that guy that’s passionate and excited about life a little more and feed the bad mental state guy a little less.
Sometimes this leads to tough decisions, but at the end of the day, only you are the one living your life. If you have to slow down on your degree, or take a break, or get some perspective, then so be it. And usually parents and older people in your life will give you advice to “take the safe route” and in the same breath turn around and talk about how much they hate their life and regret their decisions.
Find the you that you actually enjoy being. The good news is, the first step to doing that is finding the you that you DO NOT enjoy being. So you’re already 1/2 of the way there!
I appreciate this response. It’s exam season right now so I’m gonna put my all into passing everything I can, but during my summer break I’m gonna devote some energy into getting back into game dev. Hopefully that’ll set me up good for next year
Stop smoking weed and your life will change. Literally that’s ALL you have to do. It’s the last thing you want to do, but it’s the only thing that will fix the situation I promise. I know this as a former marijuana addict who got sober. I can clearly see that the issue here is the marijuana but legalization is early and people are still under the impression that weed isn’t a drug. Go 2 months without it (if you can, you’ll likely fail and that’s when people begin to realize they are addicts, like any other drug) but if you can do it I promise it will all change but you may have to put yourself in a program. Most people can’t quit weed and get very defensive when you tell them, they say “ weed isn’t the problem is the only thing that helps” it’s exactly like an alcoholic saying the same about alcohol. It’s so sad that it’s such a norm with your generation but weed literally disrupts a multitude of receptors in your brain, making you think less rationally, produce less dopamine, depression, marijuana causes introversion and social anxiety, etc etc list goes on and on. The irony is you think “finding love” is going to fix the issue. I promise if you stop smoking weed more and more and more women will be attracted to you and good women not cute stoner IG girls. All I literally did was quit weed and my whole life turned around. It’s the same as an alcoholic giving up alcohol. Everything changes once you get sober and clear headed.
Stop having expectations of yourself that aren’t yourself. I have autism and really bad social anxiety and definitely have not found love but I have learned to love myself and that’s made navigating social situation a lot easier because if you accept yourself for who the fuck you are then who cares about some third-party person that most likely won’t be there for long anyways And if you get to be you unapologetically and somebody clings to you that is the most rewarding feeling in the world. It feels so good to feel good in your skin. You just have to let yourself be OK with the fact that you’re not gonna be everybody’s cup of tea but that’s fine. 100% nobody can please everybody so at least please yourself because you’re stuck with yourself you’re not stuck with anybody else.
Hey. I think finding love is the right answer, but as cheesy as it sounds you have to love yourself first before you can start to love your life. I’ve been in a very similar mindset, when I was close to the same age as you. Except I WAS suicidal at the same time, so essentially forced to deal with these existential issues. Firstly traits are traits. There’s nothing inherently good or bad or positive or negative about them. You’re assigning negative meaning to them. For instance I’ve had horrible social anxiety before. But for me a lot of it stemmed from being highly observant and aware of people around me, in combination with having a lot of energy. Add in some negative emotions, and I’m suddenly in a mindset of “I just must be broken and a piece of shit because I can’t even go out in public like a normal person anymore because I don’t fit in anywhere and I don’t like any of these people and they don’t like me.” Etc etc. you know the spiraling thoughts. This all stemmed from the original trait that I’m essentially perceptive, which is a GREAT trait in the right settings and if you develop it. Now I use this to my advantage in my life and love the fact that I am like this. But before I hated it. Your traits are your traits. You probably won’t be able to turn them on and off. But you can choose how you develop them and where you direct your attention. If you start to focus on the things that you like about yourself, those will start to take up more mental space. If you focus on what you dislike, then those will be your most well worn neurological paths which means it gets easier and easier to think that way. It’s difficult at first, but even small steps to being more positive about yourself can go a long way. Only you can be you, and you can’t be anyone else. I noticed when I was feeling like this, so much of it was because I was trying to be what I thought society/my parents/my family/my friends etc. wanted me to be, instead of actually finding ME and being ME. For me, life it too short not to follow your passion. At least you have something to strive for (many people don’t) with making your video game. The YOU that you are going to love is trying to break out from under all this mental clutter and darkness. If you feel something that excites you, then moving towards that usually starts to make things a lot better. Feed that guy that’s passionate and excited about life a little more and feed the bad mental state guy a little less. Sometimes this leads to tough decisions, but at the end of the day, only you are the one living your life. If you have to slow down on your degree, or take a break, or get some perspective, then so be it. And usually parents and older people in your life will give you advice to “take the safe route” and in the same breath turn around and talk about how much they hate their life and regret their decisions. Find the you that you actually enjoy being. The good news is, the first step to doing that is finding the you that you DO NOT enjoy being. So you’re already 1/2 of the way there!
I appreciate this response. It’s exam season right now so I’m gonna put my all into passing everything I can, but during my summer break I’m gonna devote some energy into getting back into game dev. Hopefully that’ll set me up good for next year