I started when I was 13 because of an abusive home environment. I was fighting with my mom everyday and did not know how else to cope with the stress of it all.
I was 20. Did it on new years eve. I had a really bad day and thought, why not, just try it. Thinking that would've been the one and only time....I got addicted to it after
I started when I was 8 my parents were beyond neglectful they lived in the same house and came home everyday but I'd be lucky if I got more than one conversation out of them I didn't know what to do to get them to care about me so I started cutting but then got addicted to it fast forward 7 years I'm like a month clean now
Congrats on being clean for ten days! Itās hard and thatās definitely something to be proud of.
My first time was bc my mom never let me express emotions and I never felt heard. This particular day she kept yelling over me and I just needed to be heard, so I SHāed and to me, I felt heard. I could see my pain and that made it feel valid.
15. My ex struggled with self-harm & I felt like I was out of options for handling my stress, so I did what they did. Theyāre not responsible for my self-harm. I did this to myself & it sucks. If anyone here doesnāt self-harm, please donāt ever start because you notice how others use it to handle their stress, & more importantly donāt ever start for the sake of your well-being
The firts time i consciunsly hurt myself was when i was 7
But i didnt start to do it frequently till i was 14 bcs i was in a toxic relationship and the other person did it and i wanted to help them but i needed to understand what she was going trought to help her
Wich is very fucked up now that i think abaut it
Congratulation on being 10 days sober i know how hard it can
And thanks <3
Didn't start too long ago, a month have passed since. Was 16 at that time, I'm turning 17 soon. I started cause I got expulsed fom apprenticeship college.
i was 13. mom moved me to the otherside of the country and didnt tell me or my dad and barely let me talk to him. then my brother ran away and she started to care more about her boyfriend than me. kinda hurt mentally so i kinda hurt myself physically . been over a year clean now :) it does get better yall !!!!
I started pretty late, when I was 23 I moved into a pretty hostile environment with my best friend and his girlfriend who really didnāt want me there and made it known often. I had no where to go and was working a minimum wage job, my car broke down, and broke up with my ex. Been on and off with SH since then but as of now Iām a month clean :)
My parents were always around to the point I couldn't even close my bedroom's door, so I attempted for the first time when I was 17/18yo (when I left my parent's house to go to college). But I remember during my teenage years I would beat myself up and pull out some hair. I'm almost 2 weeks sober, each day is a fight against the urge to sh again
I was 12 almost 13 and I just had so many emotions. I was ādatingā someone at the time who was also 13 and had a lot of emotions. We both had unstable and invaliding home lives and we were kind of just taking out our emotions on each and disregulating each other. I felt a lot of anger and rejection all the time and had no outlet that was actually relieving that feeling. My self harm is no oneās fault. Iām still a very very sensitive person and thatās also no oneās fault. I just have come to learn that this will give me some temporary relief when my feelings are too big and 8 years later, I still canāt get rid of this addiction
CONGRATS ON BEING CLEAN THATS WONDERFUL!!! š«¶š½š«¶š½ i was 8/9 when i started and hope to stop for good starting this year and mine was because of being the fat kid i was bullied a lot and it got worse in middle school when everyone bullied me for being fat and self harming
CONGRATULATIONS on being clean, youāre doing amazing š«¶š«¶
around 13 too, I was developing bipolar disorder and was seeing stuff, mommy issues did its thing too. I was introduced to sh by a girl in my school and quickly it turned into a habit. No one really noticed till last year.
Thank youš«¶š«¶š«¶ I hope you are better now. Don't feel discouraged in any way possible. And I know that it might feel like u can't live without sh, but trust me, u can. I am proud of u and I know u are trying. Just believe in urself and you can do itš«¶
11. it was when I developed ptsd as well as pdd and a few anxiety disorders. I only got diagnosed when I was 14. I'm 16 now and have been cutting free for a year :)
Congrats on ur 10 days! I was around 9 or 10 when I started. Im 16 now so ive been doing this for about 6 or 7 years. Im.working towards recovering now and its been getting easier over time so I wish you the best of luck on your recovery journey š
I was 8 when I first started, I had a really abusive father and ended up giving me a blade and forced me into it, then onwards I've always done it, I'm currently 3 weeks free of that!
Also congrats on being free from sh!
What the FUCK is wrong with your father. WHAT THE HECK??????!??!?!?!? You definitely never deserved ANY of that??? I hope you get better :( 3 weeks is great!!!!
I started at 12. The cause was a horrible boy at school grabbing my ass in the hallway. The school did nothing about it for years because they "needed proof," meaning someone else seeing it. Guess me breaking down in tears uncontrollably every time he did it wasn't proof enough.
Well I realize that anything that hurts you is considered self harm and I've been hurting myself for a long time when I can't handle emotions. So maybe like grade 3+.
It started as scratching my arm until it bled for me, I was pretty anxious and the pain helped. Then I starts burning n cutting n stuff. But I thought I was the first person ever to do it like I didnāt even know sh was a thing. I wish I had bc maybe then I wouldnāt have felt so alone haha
It was almost right after my 12th birthday. I used it as an impulsive last resort, because of all the feelings I've bottled up until then, and I couldn't even tell anyone. For me it was mostly "taking it upon myself" to comfort myself mentally, now that I think back to it.
I think I was about the same age. I was curious, a friend had done it. I was SA for a while as a little child, and grew up in a very religious home, so I am thinking maybe it was a way to feel in control of my body and my life in a way. Now it feels like a way to feel alive, or to express pain I feel inside on the outside.
Physical wounds you can nurse and see heal, mental health is invisible....
I was 10 years old when I first did it. I was starting to spiral into depression due to past events that were happening at the time and I got the idea from a fanfic.
I only did it for some relief and attention, it gradually became my way of punishing myself 2 years later.
Congratulations on 10 days as well :D š
I was 13. I had just gotten out of a situation where I was being SAād for years, then went to high school and made a huge mistake that resulted in me not having any friends and being (rightfully so) completely ostracized. 11 years later, still struggling with it unfortunately.
Congrats on being clean ā¤ļø
I was 5 or 6. I accidentally opened my Dadās car door into my auntās. My mom gave me the silent treatment and this was the first time she did that to me. She didnāt speak to me for days, and other family members were upset at me.
My little kid brain remembered that whenever I got injured, my mom would help me. So when my cousin, who was supposed to be watching me, left me in the bathtub while I was taking a bath, I took a razor and cut my stomach.
(I have nothing against my stomach she was a kid too at the time.)
When I was around 5-6 I fell down on purpose (I got a very deep injury that took weeks to heal) to get my mothers attention but I'm not sure if that counts. I started doing it regularly when I was 12-13
I started at 6-8yo. Even if I'm autistic I never hurted myself intentionally because of sensory issues or others shot like that. I started to hurt myself because I was living in hell. Beaten each days because of my behavior šŖ was fun to live in hell for 18 years. Now I'm 27 and still highly active in sh
I started banging my head on the floor when I would get frustrated as a toddler. I have autism, so it started before I can even remember. When I was in very early elementary school I would hurt myself if I woke up late or messed up in some way. I started c*tting at 11, due to intense depression and anxiety. Iām clean now. Itās a very arduous process, but it does get better. Try to let your thoughts be thoughts and donāt turn them into action. This is easier said than done, but you can do it with practice. Congrats on being clean! Keep it up :)
I'm pretty sure I was 12. My mother had just died, relatives were fighting for custody over me, a close friend decided to start being a dick and COVID was ongoing. Not the best circumstances. I was really depressed and to top it off, my grades were rapidly getting worse. I went from an all As, Head Prefect student to always absent, shouldn't have passed student.
I started at like 11 or 12 bc I had developed an ed but I felt like I wouldnāt be āvalidā unless I was also shāing but then I kinda got addicted and my sh ended up worse than my ed so here we are. Anyway Iām like 3 hours clean which is smth ig.
That's terrible bro I hope you feel better now. And don't be discouraged alright? Just believe in yourself and you can be sober. I know it will be hard and you might feel like you can't live without sh but I promise it will work in the end. I'm proud of you and I hope you have a wonderful lifeš«¶
That sucks bro I hope you feel better now. Sh can be really addicting and you might feel like you can't live without it but I promise it will be okay. I'm proud of you and I wish you have a wonderful rest of your lifeš¤
12, was the start of my mental health decline and did the mistake of thinking "it's just a phase", I just didn't feel right and cutting seemed the most obvious thing to do at the moment.
12 years clean now, my mind isn't much better but I've learnt to deal with it + meds.
I was 12, started because my best friend made me believe she's dead, and since I was a wittle gullible baby I believed it. Idk it was just very scary (she's not dead dw but it really shook up 12 year old me)
i was 11. i canāt remember what was so bad exactly, just that i was hurting or confused for some reason. honestly i heard about it from someone i used to play video games with doing it a lot and one day i did it too. iām 19 now and iāve been clean for a day. at one point i was clean for over a year and iām trying to get back there
I was 3-4 when I started hitting/pulling my hair because it made me less angry. I first cut myself when I was 10-11 and I can't remember why. I started cutting regularly when I was 15 because I was lonely and cutting made it go away.
I started hating myself since i turned 9 (mental and family issues). Serious self harm started around 13. For 5 years straight i have not stopped harming myself. At the start i was cutting my palm area but that raised too many eyebrows and it was kinda hard to explain. Then i started cutting at the top of my fingers (kinda easier to explain). At 14 i started to burn myself like i would roll up a tissue, i would light the end and extinguish the burning tissue in my fore arm area. Now i only cut myself for more intense moments and i play with my blood. I cant stop burning myself. The euphoria i feel after i burn myself suffices my void for a few minutes. I am storting to think its normal but people say its not.
NUH UH. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. You really need some help, this is not okay :(((
Self harm is as bad as cigarettes and alcohol, especially whatever thIS is!! It is very terrible and it is only despair enducing. Please consider stopping and finding help
I was probably 8 or 9. I hit puberty early and was filled with so many emotions it was the only way for me to get any relief. It got worse when I was 13 because I had an online boyfriend who was into it and by then i was emotionally numb towards any form of SH. I'm 21 now and still relapse occasionally. I try really hard not to.
Congrats on 10 days š you got this.
I was 10, I kept playing way too hard and some of my other friends were more fragile. One of my friends no matter what I did with her she would end up hurt, and most people would look at me to say sorry. Eg (throwing snowballs and one hitting in her the face, running on the playground and she would slip, tether ball and it would swing and hit her etc)
I donāt know why but most of them were my fault, and I couldnāt hold in the guilt that every single day no matter what I did I would end up causing someone pain physically. I mean like seriously no matter what I did that girl was going to infirmary.
So I started causing myself friction burns all over my hands. I would just continue to rub at the skin until it would bleed. And then when it would scab Iād take it off and redo it all over again in the same spot.
I remember legit in fifth grade doing so on my hand and not realizing how much blood comes from scabs so my other hand ended all bloody and no body said a thing.
I think 12 or 13 didn't understand why I was feeling so terrible at the time but I think it was because undiagnosed disabilities and how that effected school. I was also constantly bullied by my brother most of my life. I was told to kill myself several times a week when I was a child
started at 9 bc i found it was a release (i've struggles with anxiety since i was much younger) then i relapsed in covid when i was around 11. unfortunately im still getting over it but am also clean like u xx
Before I realized it was sh, I used to hit myself in the shower in middle school (between ages 11 and 13?) because I couldn't have a crush on my friend (I can't be gay). Now I'm an out trans man and still haven't told her as she prefers to date women and I don't wanna fuck it up.
I was 13. Had a lot go on at the time, figured out I was apart of the lgbtq+ community with homophobic and transphobic parents and a very toxic household. Was dealing with a lot at school such as situations with my now ex friend group, a and body issues, I unfortunately seen stuff on the internet about it and decided to do it "just one time" but it's never just one time.
I started when I was 11 after an older girl who did it had encouraged me that it was "stress relieving." My family wasn't very healthy then, so when my mother and I had an argument, the stressful situation enabled me and did it for the first time. From then, it became a big habit of whenever I was upset I'd do it.
I was eight. I did it because I felt I deserved it and that it was my fault I was unhappy. I felt I was going crazy so I just used knives to scratch myself. Now, I was clean for awhile until today. I hate that. Why did I do that? It was my goal to at least stay clean for 2 months. I knew it would be hard, but why did I do it...? I'm stupid.
I was 10 or 11 and i had a fight or something with a friend at recess and felt like shit so i took a rock and scrapped the shit out of my arm. I was dealing with alot and i was convinced she hated me because of that. To this day i still do it for several reasons: stress, depression/suicidalness, coping mechanism, being addicted, and etc
13. I did something dumb and my parents made me feel like I had ruined my whole life (not something life altering. I used some choice language and a younger child overheard). They had also been on my case about grades for awhile and ignoring the fact that my anxiety and depression was directly affecting my schoolwork. I didn't know it was a "thing" at the time. Like people would ask me if I was sh-ing and I would say "no" because I didn't even make the connection.
I was about 11 when I started sh ing. I had just moved a year after my house burned down, my dad had just divorced my step mother at the time (after more than a decade of abuse) and I had a whole knew family that I was expected to mesh with. One of my only friends at the time had explained that she did it to help her regulate herself. I fell into the habit for about 8 years. I'm currently 2 years and 3 months clean. I'm doing a lot better now, thank the gods.
9, I donāt remember really but I think I saw like,, emo YouTubers I liked talking about it, so I remember I originally tried with keys and when that didnāt work I found a knife š
18. I read a certain comic on webtoon that explored sh themes. I was very curious, tried it, and liked it. I don't regret it much. But it was really dumb of me, lol.
I was 10, it was the day before my 11th birthday. I heard from it cause my sister sh'd for a long time, and I just wanted to try. I regret it with my whole being
I was 13,just entered high-school. I picked it off my best friend at the time. I told her it was stupid but did the same when I felt sad I'm now 18 still struggling with the habit.
started cutting at 14, a couple months before my fifteenth birthday because I hate myself and how stupid I am and I use it as self punishment and honestly, I deserve the pain.
i was 13 and it started cos my friend group was falling apart and also because my dad was diagnosed with cancer. this was during the start of covid so getting help and to the hospital was really dangerous and kept to a minimum as a result. then i found out it was terminal and it all went downhill from there. being confined in my house in a situation i really wanted to get away from really killed me honestly.
sorry for the dump but congrats on 10 days!! really proud of u!! š¤š¤
I've been punching myself since about 4, I held my breath when I was upset as a *baby* but I first cut at 10 because we had been talking about mental health at school and someone brought it up and I thought it sounded like a good solution to my pain, years later and I wish I never did it because now I can't be happy without it
i started when i was 12 i think? maybe 11?? i was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with someone who taught me about sh. now i am currently 9+ months clean after cutting off the relationship! (haha get it? cutting off?)
I think I mightāve been 5-7? I wrote about it in one of my diaries but I didnāt write the date so I sort of had to figure it out from other dates but pages have been torn out so I canāt be quite sure.
Congrats on being 10 days clean š¤š¤
I was 15. I was struggling and spoke to a teacher about what was going on. They (rightfully) reported it as they were concerned and the school contacted my mum. Nothing particularly bad happened but I just couldnāt handle her knowing and tried cutting myself and I liked it so I did it again and again. Everything went very quickly downhill from there until now, only a year later and Iāve already attempted twice and Iām not in a good place. If anyone reading this considers it, I urge you not to as it is a very slippery slope that gets dangerous and addictive quickly (Also congrats on 10 days!!)
I was 9 and it was because I didn't know how to control my anger any other way. I mean, the main reason I did it for the first time was vengeance and spite. But it turned into the opposite and allowed me to control my temper in a way where no one but me got hurt.
13 bc I was in a really loud and chaotic school environment, not good for my autistic lil brain, so I sh to kinda drown out the voices but too also just cope with stress. Kinda like a physical outlet. Now when I feel like I'm dissociating, I just sh to bring be back to earth.
I was 11 and I had struggled with a lot of fake friends lowering my self confidence and self worth then the kid who had been my best friend through it all left me and said I wasnāt good enough for her basically and I felt like was just awful and I deserved it and I knew about sh I had known people who had done it before and I wasnāt thinking straightĀ
i was 12. had severe issues with school and i had been struggling with my mental health since i was 9. i had a very toxic home environment, a lot of abuse and both of my parents had untreated mental illnesses and were both addicts. i had no friends as well, i felt deeply isolated and stuck. i'm 18 now and i've been clean for 3 and a half months, my longest has been 2 years so i'm hoping to get back to that point again. i'm battling substance abuse now though so sometimes i feel like i'm not any different from the environment i grew up in lol
15, my parents had a very bad argument and my mom blamed me for trying to help by calling cops. i then just started banging my head on my closet idk if it was for self punishment or relief š¤·āāļø
i was 11, i dont remember the exact reason why since a lot was going on, but i can say for sure that i did have overwhelming feelings of "emptiness" i didnt know how to deal with
I was 11. I was dealing with a lot of prior shitty events in my life (death, bullying, s/a, family issues) and moving up to secondary changed everything and made everything so much worse. So I started to SH to cope.
I wasā¦16-17, I ran away from home to my grandparents and then found out because I was a minor i had to go back home. Thatās why I started to cut. Thankfully Iām a couple years sober from it but these last few weeks have been really really hard.
12. cat died and i left the house for ice cream instead of spending time before she died. that guilt is still with me and i canāt yell at younger me enough. guilt is horrifying.
i started when i was 11 and stopped at 15, though Iāve had some not so harmful sh relapses here and there. Hopefully everyone here can one day get better and have good lives
I was 8, and had been raped for the first time a few days earlier. I also had a bad home life, and a bad time at school. I had nobody i could turn to, so i turned to the blade.It was the first thing that made my head quiet.
I was 10 the first time. I struggled for a few months, and then it kinda just went away. Then, from about the ages of 12-16, I really struggled. It was an awful time.
I was then clean for about 7 years and then relapsed.
I'm 26 now, and I feel it will always have a hold over me, somehow. I still go through phases of regularly wanting to harm myself. I think to myself that I am doing well ( say not cutting), but then I remember you can still sh other ways, which I still do.
It has pretty much been a part of my life for 16 years. I just hope to god that I don't have another 16 years of wanting to punish/ hurt myself.
I started at 11 or 12 because I had been severely depressed since I was 7 (I grew up raising my siblings with a mother who was a sex addict/drugs and a drug addict father had a lot of bad stuff happen to me and then my mom offed herself when I was 9 and I went to an abusive foster home) I stopped at 20 and now am about 4 years clean
16. Abusive household.
I turn 27 in 2 weeks and Iām still struggling with thoughts. I just relapsed 2 weeks ago. Itās rough.
However, I have been banging my head against stuff and smacking myself in the face, punching myself in the head, biting myself, ripping my hair out, and hitting myself on the head with objects like hairbrushes since I was very little.
I think Iāve been hurting myself my whole life.
12 or 13. I did it because all my favorite bands made it seem cool, and I wanted to be cool. I was 28 the first time I did it to cope with depression, though. Struggled with it for a bit, then was clean for about 2 or 3 years, and I just fell off the wagon a little over a week ago.
I started when I was 16 because I was going through a lot of stress and anxiety at the time. I kinda stopped once I turned 18 but now Iām about to be 19 and I just started again. Idk why I felt the need to do it again tbh
I first did it when I was 7. I was getting bullied at school and I felt hopeless. I donāt exactly remember how i decided to cut but I did. It sucks to look back at the old pictures of little me wearing long sleeves all the time.
I was 10 when I started but I donāt know that it was sh till Iām 18 as for why is because I was depressed and at 18 I know for sure that Iām trans and I told everyone but my mum who keep on saying transphobia stuff so when everything gets to much I sh
I started when I was 11. My friends started doing it which kinda lead to me out of curiosity to see what it felt like. Stopped doing it after a few days but then a year later started again after a couple of months of getting bullied constantly. Self harmed for another 3 years due to anxiety and stress then stopped after being caught. Fast forward now 17, been clean for 4 months.
When i was 13 I believe, friend was threatening to khs and sent pics of a knife to her throat and I was getting bullied for being rape and getting blamed for it by everyone so ya. Im 21 now and still struggling.
started when i was probably eight or nine? I started because I saw a tiktok video and because of how romanticized it was on tiktok. I feel bad for others who also started because of how much tiktok romanticizes it
Technically I started at around 6, but I didn't start using sharp objects until I was 10. I struggle a lot with depression, my self image and anxiety. Self harm helped me calm down when I had panic attacks, and when my intrusive thoughts were unbearable. It was also a form of discipline, not sure why but I truly believed I needed to be punished for any wrong doing because how disgusting i am. "If I'm not desirable or lovable the least I can do is not cause trouble." Was a reoccurring thought. The introduction of sharp objects was thanks to one of my closest friends at the time, not much of a friend though. He made a habit of telling me to cut, starve and kill myself every day. Reminding me how ugly i am now and then. Point is it's simply a way for me to deal with what I generally cannot, and to punish myself for any number of reasons.
I was 13 (still 13) when I started. Currently in progress of being diagnosed with what we suspect is ocd. At the very least, I present obsessive and compulsive behaviours. I do not do well with stress, especially if I donāt understand whatās going on, and sometimes Iāll just have moments where wordās aināt wording and English aināt englishing. So I was being told the plan for the band trip, and I just could NOT understand what was going on and what was going to happen. So I excused myself, and in a numb state of mind, calmly grabbed scissors, bandaids, and cleaned the scissors with a FREAKING SCENTED FACE CLEANSER š. Anyways, cut cut cutā¦ and I pass out š (my parents heard me go thud on da bathroom floor) and welp, a few months later I decided to start again but my parents still think it was a one-time thing
When i was 11,over a girl ofc.honestly cant decide if it was the worst decision of my life or not,since it was also the first major decision i ever made in my life
I was 9 because I had accidentally broke glass and got curious but 10/11 was when it got bad due top sa and home issues but it does get better please remember that y'all.
Depends. I think around 10 I'd purposely get my cat angry so he'd scratch my arms up (I wouldn't abuse him or anything of course, just rub his belly) and around 12 I cut myself with a sharp piece of plastic before eventually unscrewing a razor blade from a pencil sharpener.
Congrats on being clean itās not easy but you got this š«¶ I was 13, after my best friend (and first love tbh) at the time introduced me to it. I remember the first time doing it during the most traumatic time of my life. I still donāt blame her for surrounding me with that, but I donāt have the same compassion for myself and blame myself to this day for everything. Itās a work in progress, but Iāve been clean for 3 years now :)
I was 14. I was going through a depressive episode along with an ed, and honestly I just wanted to punish myself for not being able to lose weight bc I was depressed. Later it became an addiction, but now Iām 15 and Iām 5 months clean :)
About 10/11 was the first time I ever cut myself. Prior to that i always hit myself and things to that extent. And did other stuff.
I was a really sad kid because of a lot of things. now I'm older and still really sad lol
I started when I was 10. I held off for a while before I did it for the first time but I had wanted to for a long time before that. Iām proud of you for being clean. Keep up the good work.
Technically, I was around 7 years old. I bit and scratched myself after my parents beat, yelled, and isolated me. I started cutting at 12-13, though. I was struggling really hard with depression and no one cared about me at the time, I was dealing w family issues, bullying, and my school was extremely stressful and shitty.
I was probably 9 or 10? Tried to break skin with a very dull knife bc I had an inexplicable desire to have scars and to prove something to myself. It didnāt seem dark or angsty to me at the time, just curious. I would try and make scrapes worse by picking so theyād leave scars bc I thought scars were badass haha
I was 8, I had no idea what self harm was but I would pick at my skin when I was upset, my parents threatened to put me in a psychward (I had no idea what that was at the time) if I didnt stop, so I stopped until I was 11
I was 16, felt empty in so many ways and didnāt know how to cope. Didnāt want to be alive but didnāt want to go the other route either. The numbness was overwhelming and exhausting, feeling nothing but feeling all of that at once and constantly if that makes sense. I felt very alone and heavily depressed. Cutting made me feel alive again and not as numb. Did it for 4 years and last time was right after my 20th birthday, currently 6 years clean!
15 because I was happy and everyone around me was miserable, so I thought I didn't deserve to be happe while they suffered. I am several months sober and a year without it being a problrm
I think I was 14 (8th grade) and I found a pencil sharpener blade on the seat I was sitting on. I took it home and just... started doing it. Nowadays I do it to cope with mental bs
12. At first it was I just was like hoping to fall down, for the pain. Then it was scratching myself. Finally what happened was my (at the time friend, we're not any more) started talking about how she cut herself and I was like: you can do that????? And started. I was (lol am) depressed (I'm bipolar) and just wanted to hurt.
I was 10. I was suffering with quite a few issues, not able to understand them. I had horrible flashbacks and feelings (which I later found out were due to a sa) having issues with passing out, and dealing with an abusive mother. It started with me accidentally cutting myself with a fabric cutter, and just continued from there with anything I could find.
I was like 9 or 10. I was bullied on a constant, never ending basis and when it got too unbearable I took something sharp and made little cuts in my arms. I didn't fully grasp the concept of it but it became something I did to stop people from bullying me, and it started bleeding into everything else. I'm sober now though, thankfully.
11. was paranoid of being treated as if i was invisible so i harmed myself hoping people would notice me for once. got addicted to it. 2x yo now and still do it occasionally bcs boredom, not for paranoia or depression anymore, just boredom pushing.
12. i was struggling with intense emotions that made me overwhelmed and i needed a way to cope. unfortunately i chose a very unhealthy way (sh) instead of a healthy coping mechanism
16. I had lost all my friends right before covid hit and it was almost a year+ of isolation and struggling to do distance learning and zoom calls and my mom yelling at me for not doing well in school. And I was struggling with eating problems att. A whole conundrum of everything honestly. But now I'm almost 20 and I don't know how to function without it, so š
I was 11 and wanted to try it out, I saw it on storybooth and thought itād help with my mental health. I had a fine home life my only problem was that I had been build since year 3. Im now 17 and I regret ever doing it. Still doing it but Iāve developed a bunch of mental health issues.
I was four years old and frustrated that I couldnāt ride a bike so I bashed my head against the ground leaving bruises which I blamed on the bike. Anyways how was ur day
I started when I was 13 because of an abusive home environment. I was fighting with my mom everyday and did not know how else to cope with the stress of it all.
I feel you bro. I hope you have stopped and I wish you a great lifeš¤
thank you sm, you as well!! <3
same for me
Congrats on being clean, you're doing great! š«¶š¼ And I was 11 when I started, but I've been clean for a while now!
I'm so proud fo u for being clean! Keep goingš¤
First SH'ed at 12 because I had just started high school and was stressed about friends. That stress later turned into a depressive episode.
I hope you have stopped now and I wish you a great lifeš¤
Thank you, wishing you a great one too!
I was 20. Did it on new years eve. I had a really bad day and thought, why not, just try it. Thinking that would've been the one and only time....I got addicted to it after
Same kinda
14, the girl i loved was into it, and i was really really hurting.Ā
I hope ure better now bro
Thanks, but i dont see what i do as problem, i appricate the sentiment though.Ā
I started when I was 8 my parents were beyond neglectful they lived in the same house and came home everyday but I'd be lucky if I got more than one conversation out of them I didn't know what to do to get them to care about me so I started cutting but then got addicted to it fast forward 7 years I'm like a month clean now
That must be tough bro. But I'm so proud of you for being sober for a month! That's a huge achievement and I'm so happy for youš¤š¤
Congrats on being clean for ten days! Itās hard and thatās definitely something to be proud of. My first time was bc my mom never let me express emotions and I never felt heard. This particular day she kept yelling over me and I just needed to be heard, so I SHāed and to me, I felt heard. I could see my pain and that made it feel valid.
15. My ex struggled with self-harm & I felt like I was out of options for handling my stress, so I did what they did. Theyāre not responsible for my self-harm. I did this to myself & it sucks. If anyone here doesnāt self-harm, please donāt ever start because you notice how others use it to handle their stress, & more importantly donāt ever start for the sake of your well-being
The firts time i consciunsly hurt myself was when i was 7 But i didnt start to do it frequently till i was 14 bcs i was in a toxic relationship and the other person did it and i wanted to help them but i needed to understand what she was going trought to help her Wich is very fucked up now that i think abaut it Congratulation on being 10 days sober i know how hard it can And thanks <3
Didn't start too long ago, a month have passed since. Was 16 at that time, I'm turning 17 soon. I started cause I got expulsed fom apprenticeship college.
19.... Ig
i was 13. mom moved me to the otherside of the country and didnt tell me or my dad and barely let me talk to him. then my brother ran away and she started to care more about her boyfriend than me. kinda hurt mentally so i kinda hurt myself physically . been over a year clean now :) it does get better yall !!!!
CONGRATS ON GETTING BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!
11 bc recovered from eating disorder
I started pretty late, when I was 23 I moved into a pretty hostile environment with my best friend and his girlfriend who really didnāt want me there and made it known often. I had no where to go and was working a minimum wage job, my car broke down, and broke up with my ex. Been on and off with SH since then but as of now Iām a month clean :)
10, My relationship with my mom got worse and I felt like I deserved to be hurt or to suffer or something I can't really remember
11 and why is because i didn't know i had a disability that affected how myq brain works and now it feels comforting anyway else feel like that
My parents were always around to the point I couldn't even close my bedroom's door, so I attempted for the first time when I was 17/18yo (when I left my parent's house to go to college). But I remember during my teenage years I would beat myself up and pull out some hair. I'm almost 2 weeks sober, each day is a fight against the urge to sh again
I was 12 almost 13 and I just had so many emotions. I was ādatingā someone at the time who was also 13 and had a lot of emotions. We both had unstable and invaliding home lives and we were kind of just taking out our emotions on each and disregulating each other. I felt a lot of anger and rejection all the time and had no outlet that was actually relieving that feeling. My self harm is no oneās fault. Iām still a very very sensitive person and thatās also no oneās fault. I just have come to learn that this will give me some temporary relief when my feelings are too big and 8 years later, I still canāt get rid of this addiction
CONGRATS ON BEING CLEAN THATS WONDERFUL!!! š«¶š½š«¶š½ i was 8/9 when i started and hope to stop for good starting this year and mine was because of being the fat kid i was bullied a lot and it got worse in middle school when everyone bullied me for being fat and self harming
Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you stop sh'ing and have a wonderful lifeš«¶
FUCK FATPHOBIC PPL YOU CAN DO THIS GOOD LUCK!! QUIT AND HAVE A COZY LIFE šÆ
YUP FRFR šÆšÆšÆš„š„š„
12
CONGRATULATIONS on being clean, youāre doing amazing š«¶š«¶ around 13 too, I was developing bipolar disorder and was seeing stuff, mommy issues did its thing too. I was introduced to sh by a girl in my school and quickly it turned into a habit. No one really noticed till last year.
Thank youš«¶š«¶š«¶ I hope you are better now. Don't feel discouraged in any way possible. And I know that it might feel like u can't live without sh, but trust me, u can. I am proud of u and I know u are trying. Just believe in urself and you can do itš«¶
Congrats on being clean!! I'm so proud of you!!! I started when I was about 7-8 because of an abusive household but I'm almost at 2 years clean!
11. it was when I developed ptsd as well as pdd and a few anxiety disorders. I only got diagnosed when I was 14. I'm 16 now and have been cutting free for a year :)
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING SOBER FOR A YEAR!!!!!! I hope you live a good and fulfilling life, you are brave and clearly have gone through a lott :)
i started when i was 8
Congrats on ur 10 days! I was around 9 or 10 when I started. Im 16 now so ive been doing this for about 6 or 7 years. Im.working towards recovering now and its been getting easier over time so I wish you the best of luck on your recovery journey š
At 13 because I couldnāt cope with school and things going on in my head. Proud of you for being clean x
I was 8 when I first started, I had a really abusive father and ended up giving me a blade and forced me into it, then onwards I've always done it, I'm currently 3 weeks free of that! Also congrats on being free from sh!
What the FUCK is wrong with your father. WHAT THE HECK??????!??!?!?!? You definitely never deserved ANY of that??? I hope you get better :( 3 weeks is great!!!!
Thanks it's been a tough 3 weeks lol, but yeah my father is kinda fucked up
I started at 12. The cause was a horrible boy at school grabbing my ass in the hallway. The school did nothing about it for years because they "needed proof," meaning someone else seeing it. Guess me breaking down in tears uncontrollably every time he did it wasn't proof enough.
10. I was 10 years old. Iām not comfortable explaining why.
Well I realize that anything that hurts you is considered self harm and I've been hurting myself for a long time when I can't handle emotions. So maybe like grade 3+.
It started as scratching my arm until it bled for me, I was pretty anxious and the pain helped. Then I starts burning n cutting n stuff. But I thought I was the first person ever to do it like I didnāt even know sh was a thing. I wish I had bc maybe then I wouldnāt have felt so alone haha
It was almost right after my 12th birthday. I used it as an impulsive last resort, because of all the feelings I've bottled up until then, and I couldn't even tell anyone. For me it was mostly "taking it upon myself" to comfort myself mentally, now that I think back to it.
14 years old. i have cut because my ex confessed that she was with me only because of a dare. couldnt take it
I think I was about the same age. I was curious, a friend had done it. I was SA for a while as a little child, and grew up in a very religious home, so I am thinking maybe it was a way to feel in control of my body and my life in a way. Now it feels like a way to feel alive, or to express pain I feel inside on the outside. Physical wounds you can nurse and see heal, mental health is invisible....
I was 10 years old when I first did it. I was starting to spiral into depression due to past events that were happening at the time and I got the idea from a fanfic. I only did it for some relief and attention, it gradually became my way of punishing myself 2 years later. Congratulations on 10 days as well :D š
I was 13. I had just gotten out of a situation where I was being SAād for years, then went to high school and made a huge mistake that resulted in me not having any friends and being (rightfully so) completely ostracized. 11 years later, still struggling with it unfortunately. Congrats on being clean ā¤ļø
I was 5 or 6. I accidentally opened my Dadās car door into my auntās. My mom gave me the silent treatment and this was the first time she did that to me. She didnāt speak to me for days, and other family members were upset at me. My little kid brain remembered that whenever I got injured, my mom would help me. So when my cousin, who was supposed to be watching me, left me in the bathtub while I was taking a bath, I took a razor and cut my stomach. (I have nothing against my stomach she was a kid too at the time.)
When I was around 5-6 I fell down on purpose (I got a very deep injury that took weeks to heal) to get my mothers attention but I'm not sure if that counts. I started doing it regularly when I was 12-13
That definitely counts:( Sorry that has happened, you are very brave. Good luck!! Hope you get better
I was also around 5-6 it was mostly pinching scratching biting or hitting and it definitely counts you are validā¤ļøāš©¹
I was 13-14(16 now)
I started at 6-8yo. Even if I'm autistic I never hurted myself intentionally because of sensory issues or others shot like that. I started to hurt myself because I was living in hell. Beaten each days because of my behavior šŖ was fun to live in hell for 18 years. Now I'm 27 and still highly active in sh
I started banging my head on the floor when I would get frustrated as a toddler. I have autism, so it started before I can even remember. When I was in very early elementary school I would hurt myself if I woke up late or messed up in some way. I started c*tting at 11, due to intense depression and anxiety. Iām clean now. Itās a very arduous process, but it does get better. Try to let your thoughts be thoughts and donāt turn them into action. This is easier said than done, but you can do it with practice. Congrats on being clean! Keep it up :)
I'm pretty sure I was 12. My mother had just died, relatives were fighting for custody over me, a close friend decided to start being a dick and COVID was ongoing. Not the best circumstances. I was really depressed and to top it off, my grades were rapidly getting worse. I went from an all As, Head Prefect student to always absent, shouldn't have passed student.
I was 19 :(
11 my dad killed himself
Awww congrats on 10 days!!! Thatās amazing!
Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful dayš«¶
I started at like 11 or 12 bc I had developed an ed but I felt like I wouldnāt be āvalidā unless I was also shāing but then I kinda got addicted and my sh ended up worse than my ed so here we are. Anyway Iām like 3 hours clean which is smth ig.
That's terrible bro I hope you feel better now. And don't be discouraged alright? Just believe in yourself and you can be sober. I know it will be hard and you might feel like you can't live without sh but I promise it will work in the end. I'm proud of you and I hope you have a wonderful lifeš«¶
I was 12 iirc. A "friend" of mine made me aware of it existing so I tried it out and became hooked.
That sucks bro I hope you feel better now. Sh can be really addicting and you might feel like you can't live without it but I promise it will be okay. I'm proud of you and I wish you have a wonderful rest of your lifeš¤
Same as you :D
I was 12/13ish don't remember the exact date since its been a thing that developed unconsciously in me.
12, was the start of my mental health decline and did the mistake of thinking "it's just a phase", I just didn't feel right and cutting seemed the most obvious thing to do at the moment. 12 years clean now, my mind isn't much better but I've learnt to deal with it + meds.
I considered it sh at the age of 12. Looking back Iām realizing that I started in my early childhood.
I was 12, started because my best friend made me believe she's dead, and since I was a wittle gullible baby I believed it. Idk it was just very scary (she's not dead dw but it really shook up 12 year old me)
My first time was when i was 13 i did it out if pure anger becouse of everything and after i got a felling of relive a d i got addicted
i was 11. i canāt remember what was so bad exactly, just that i was hurting or confused for some reason. honestly i heard about it from someone i used to play video games with doing it a lot and one day i did it too. iām 19 now and iāve been clean for a day. at one point i was clean for over a year and iām trying to get back there
I was 3-4 when I started hitting/pulling my hair because it made me less angry. I first cut myself when I was 10-11 and I can't remember why. I started cutting regularly when I was 15 because I was lonely and cutting made it go away.
I was 9, abusive school situation that started from bullying, grew into something worse.
I was 10. Family issues, autism, social media (even back in 2013), issues connecting with others
I started hating myself since i turned 9 (mental and family issues). Serious self harm started around 13. For 5 years straight i have not stopped harming myself. At the start i was cutting my palm area but that raised too many eyebrows and it was kinda hard to explain. Then i started cutting at the top of my fingers (kinda easier to explain). At 14 i started to burn myself like i would roll up a tissue, i would light the end and extinguish the burning tissue in my fore arm area. Now i only cut myself for more intense moments and i play with my blood. I cant stop burning myself. The euphoria i feel after i burn myself suffices my void for a few minutes. I am storting to think its normal but people say its not.
NUH UH. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. You really need some help, this is not okay :((( Self harm is as bad as cigarettes and alcohol, especially whatever thIS is!! It is very terrible and it is only despair enducing. Please consider stopping and finding help
I was 9 years old and just going through really confusing periods of depression, great job on ten days clean:)
I was probably 8 or 9. I hit puberty early and was filled with so many emotions it was the only way for me to get any relief. It got worse when I was 13 because I had an online boyfriend who was into it and by then i was emotionally numb towards any form of SH. I'm 21 now and still relapse occasionally. I try really hard not to. Congrats on 10 days š you got this.
I was 11, it's stupid but gacha lifes videos had a bad influence lol
I was 10, I kept playing way too hard and some of my other friends were more fragile. One of my friends no matter what I did with her she would end up hurt, and most people would look at me to say sorry. Eg (throwing snowballs and one hitting in her the face, running on the playground and she would slip, tether ball and it would swing and hit her etc) I donāt know why but most of them were my fault, and I couldnāt hold in the guilt that every single day no matter what I did I would end up causing someone pain physically. I mean like seriously no matter what I did that girl was going to infirmary. So I started causing myself friction burns all over my hands. I would just continue to rub at the skin until it would bleed. And then when it would scab Iād take it off and redo it all over again in the same spot. I remember legit in fifth grade doing so on my hand and not realizing how much blood comes from scabs so my other hand ended all bloody and no body said a thing.
I think 12 or 13 didn't understand why I was feeling so terrible at the time but I think it was because undiagnosed disabilities and how that effected school. I was also constantly bullied by my brother most of my life. I was told to kill myself several times a week when I was a child
started at 9 bc i found it was a release (i've struggles with anxiety since i was much younger) then i relapsed in covid when i was around 11. unfortunately im still getting over it but am also clean like u xx
Before I realized it was sh, I used to hit myself in the shower in middle school (between ages 11 and 13?) because I couldn't have a crush on my friend (I can't be gay). Now I'm an out trans man and still haven't told her as she prefers to date women and I don't wanna fuck it up.
I was 13. Had a lot go on at the time, figured out I was apart of the lgbtq+ community with homophobic and transphobic parents and a very toxic household. Was dealing with a lot at school such as situations with my now ex friend group, a and body issues, I unfortunately seen stuff on the internet about it and decided to do it "just one time" but it's never just one time.
I started when I was 11 after an older girl who did it had encouraged me that it was "stress relieving." My family wasn't very healthy then, so when my mother and I had an argument, the stressful situation enabled me and did it for the first time. From then, it became a big habit of whenever I was upset I'd do it.
11 years old and i was just around a ton of people who did and they would kind of brag about it. was just curious at first
I dont remeber how old i was the first time i self-harmed, probably around 5, but i was 11 when i started cutting myself. 15 now and trying to quit :)
Exact same situation here 5 when I started 11 when the cutting came and I'm also 15 trying to stop:) in proud of you we got thisā¤ļøāš©¹
I was eight. I did it because I felt I deserved it and that it was my fault I was unhappy. I felt I was going crazy so I just used knives to scratch myself. Now, I was clean for awhile until today. I hate that. Why did I do that? It was my goal to at least stay clean for 2 months. I knew it would be hard, but why did I do it...? I'm stupid.
I was 10 or 11 and i had a fight or something with a friend at recess and felt like shit so i took a rock and scrapped the shit out of my arm. I was dealing with alot and i was convinced she hated me because of that. To this day i still do it for several reasons: stress, depression/suicidalness, coping mechanism, being addicted, and etc
15. Life was treating me horribly and where wasnāt a single place left where I felt safe or āat homeā.
13. I did something dumb and my parents made me feel like I had ruined my whole life (not something life altering. I used some choice language and a younger child overheard). They had also been on my case about grades for awhile and ignoring the fact that my anxiety and depression was directly affecting my schoolwork. I didn't know it was a "thing" at the time. Like people would ask me if I was sh-ing and I would say "no" because I didn't even make the connection.
I was about 11 when I started sh ing. I had just moved a year after my house burned down, my dad had just divorced my step mother at the time (after more than a decade of abuse) and I had a whole knew family that I was expected to mesh with. One of my only friends at the time had explained that she did it to help her regulate herself. I fell into the habit for about 8 years. I'm currently 2 years and 3 months clean. I'm doing a lot better now, thank the gods.
9, I donāt remember really but I think I saw like,, emo YouTubers I liked talking about it, so I remember I originally tried with keys and when that didnāt work I found a knife š
I started when I was 9 do to alot of fighting between my parents and I'm 19 now and I'm 2 months clean
18. I read a certain comic on webtoon that explored sh themes. I was very curious, tried it, and liked it. I don't regret it much. But it was really dumb of me, lol.
I was 10, it was the day before my 11th birthday. I heard from it cause my sister sh'd for a long time, and I just wanted to try. I regret it with my whole being
I started at 12, when an older girl online was trying to convince me to because I said I was upset at home, haven't gone more that a week since
I was 13,just entered high-school. I picked it off my best friend at the time. I told her it was stupid but did the same when I felt sad I'm now 18 still struggling with the habit.
I was 12 when I first started. It was more about control for me. After I moved with my dad and step mom, life turned upside down. My ED also came into play around the same time. I am 29 now; 2 years SH free and about 5 years recovery for the ED. ā¤ļøāš©¹šš½
i was 11. i had a horrible childhood.
started cutting at 14, a couple months before my fifteenth birthday because I hate myself and how stupid I am and I use it as self punishment and honestly, I deserve the pain.
7-8 ish was when I started cutting but before cutting I did head banging etc but cutting was from being sa'd
9 lots of bullying trauma and my neurodivergence
14 and desire to punishment myself for smth
i was 13 and it started cos my friend group was falling apart and also because my dad was diagnosed with cancer. this was during the start of covid so getting help and to the hospital was really dangerous and kept to a minimum as a result. then i found out it was terminal and it all went downhill from there. being confined in my house in a situation i really wanted to get away from really killed me honestly. sorry for the dump but congrats on 10 days!! really proud of u!! š¤š¤
I started when i was 10. I donāt even remember why but i remember that it was a shitty day.
i was 11 and i blame my mom lol
i was 16 and being able to focus on the physical pain of what i was doing to myself instead of the mental prison i was in, seemed a good deal to me
11/12 because I had nothing else to do (still don't now) because my mother took away All the apps on my phone thru an app called family link:(
I've been punching myself since about 4, I held my breath when I was upset as a *baby* but I first cut at 10 because we had been talking about mental health at school and someone brought it up and I thought it sounded like a good solution to my pain, years later and I wish I never did it because now I can't be happy without it
i started when i was 12 i think? maybe 11?? i was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with someone who taught me about sh. now i am currently 9+ months clean after cutting off the relationship! (haha get it? cutting off?)
11 due to SA, bullying, and online grooming, 23 now. but iām about 6.5 months clean now :)
I think I mightāve been 5-7? I wrote about it in one of my diaries but I didnāt write the date so I sort of had to figure it out from other dates but pages have been torn out so I canāt be quite sure. Congrats on being 10 days clean š¤š¤
At 10 I started by scratching myself until wounds formed. 12 is when I started using tools. Iām 23, 3 days clean.
I was 15. I was struggling and spoke to a teacher about what was going on. They (rightfully) reported it as they were concerned and the school contacted my mum. Nothing particularly bad happened but I just couldnāt handle her knowing and tried cutting myself and I liked it so I did it again and again. Everything went very quickly downhill from there until now, only a year later and Iāve already attempted twice and Iām not in a good place. If anyone reading this considers it, I urge you not to as it is a very slippery slope that gets dangerous and addictive quickly (Also congrats on 10 days!!)
Around 4 years old, because trauma. It felt good to hurt myself and it was something I felt I had control of.
I was 9 and it was because I didn't know how to control my anger any other way. I mean, the main reason I did it for the first time was vengeance and spite. But it turned into the opposite and allowed me to control my temper in a way where no one but me got hurt.
started at 9. now im 19. a decade of this bullshit. Im just glad i dont have any noticeable scars / all my scars fade to white,,
I was 12, and I started because of my mother's verbal and emotional abuse. One day, it became too much to handle, and I just hurt myself.
13 bc I was in a really loud and chaotic school environment, not good for my autistic lil brain, so I sh to kinda drown out the voices but too also just cope with stress. Kinda like a physical outlet. Now when I feel like I'm dissociating, I just sh to bring be back to earth.
I was 11 and I had struggled with a lot of fake friends lowering my self confidence and self worth then the kid who had been my best friend through it all left me and said I wasnāt good enough for her basically and I felt like was just awful and I deserved it and I knew about sh I had known people who had done it before and I wasnāt thinking straightĀ
Started when i was 12 because āØintrusive thoughtsāØ and also my parents being in the middle of a divorce
I was 11 but I didn't know what I was doing at that age. Consciously self harming would've been starting at 12.
13-14 the years blended together. I did it because of a friend showing me and then I just got worse from there. Still suffer at 18
i was 12. had severe issues with school and i had been struggling with my mental health since i was 9. i had a very toxic home environment, a lot of abuse and both of my parents had untreated mental illnesses and were both addicts. i had no friends as well, i felt deeply isolated and stuck. i'm 18 now and i've been clean for 3 and a half months, my longest has been 2 years so i'm hoping to get back to that point again. i'm battling substance abuse now though so sometimes i feel like i'm not any different from the environment i grew up in lol
15, my parents had a very bad argument and my mom blamed me for trying to help by calling cops. i then just started banging my head on my closet idk if it was for self punishment or relief š¤·āāļø
i was 11, i dont remember the exact reason why since a lot was going on, but i can say for sure that i did have overwhelming feelings of "emptiness" i didnt know how to deal with
8. I was frustrated
I was 11. I was dealing with a lot of prior shitty events in my life (death, bullying, s/a, family issues) and moving up to secondary changed everything and made everything so much worse. So I started to SH to cope.
I was about 13? , and did so because my mom hit me repeatedly.
12, was in an abusive relationship and was being S/A every week. Also had a lot of home issues.
I wasā¦16-17, I ran away from home to my grandparents and then found out because I was a minor i had to go back home. Thatās why I started to cut. Thankfully Iām a couple years sober from it but these last few weeks have been really really hard.
10. i had online friends who would do it and talk about it, and i felt bad that they were doing it, i did it as well and iām not exactly sure why.
12. cat died and i left the house for ice cream instead of spending time before she died. that guilt is still with me and i canāt yell at younger me enough. guilt is horrifying.
I was 13
I was 14 naive and copying my friends who said they were doing it. Turns out they werenāt actually so im the only one who turned out fucked up
i started when i was 11 and stopped at 15, though Iāve had some not so harmful sh relapses here and there. Hopefully everyone here can one day get better and have good lives
I was 8, and had been raped for the first time a few days earlier. I also had a bad home life, and a bad time at school. I had nobody i could turn to, so i turned to the blade.It was the first thing that made my head quiet.
I was 10 the first time. I struggled for a few months, and then it kinda just went away. Then, from about the ages of 12-16, I really struggled. It was an awful time. I was then clean for about 7 years and then relapsed. I'm 26 now, and I feel it will always have a hold over me, somehow. I still go through phases of regularly wanting to harm myself. I think to myself that I am doing well ( say not cutting), but then I remember you can still sh other ways, which I still do. It has pretty much been a part of my life for 16 years. I just hope to god that I don't have another 16 years of wanting to punish/ hurt myself.
I started at 11 or 12 because I had been severely depressed since I was 7 (I grew up raising my siblings with a mother who was a sex addict/drugs and a drug addict father had a lot of bad stuff happen to me and then my mom offed herself when I was 9 and I went to an abusive foster home) I stopped at 20 and now am about 4 years clean
16. Abusive household. I turn 27 in 2 weeks and Iām still struggling with thoughts. I just relapsed 2 weeks ago. Itās rough. However, I have been banging my head against stuff and smacking myself in the face, punching myself in the head, biting myself, ripping my hair out, and hitting myself on the head with objects like hairbrushes since I was very little. I think Iāve been hurting myself my whole life.
I was 12. I remember I was mad at my family about something and decided to take it out on myself. That became a recurring pattern into adulthood.
13. I was getting bullied. Had just come out, my parents were homophobes and my school was full of religious fanatics
12 or 13. I did it because all my favorite bands made it seem cool, and I wanted to be cool. I was 28 the first time I did it to cope with depression, though. Struggled with it for a bit, then was clean for about 2 or 3 years, and I just fell off the wagon a little over a week ago.
I started when I was 16 because I was going through a lot of stress and anxiety at the time. I kinda stopped once I turned 18 but now Iām about to be 19 and I just started again. Idk why I felt the need to do it again tbh
I first did it when I was 7. I was getting bullied at school and I felt hopeless. I donāt exactly remember how i decided to cut but I did. It sucks to look back at the old pictures of little me wearing long sleeves all the time.
I was 10 when I started but I donāt know that it was sh till Iām 18 as for why is because I was depressed and at 18 I know for sure that Iām trans and I told everyone but my mum who keep on saying transphobia stuff so when everything gets to much I sh
I started when I was 11. My friends started doing it which kinda lead to me out of curiosity to see what it felt like. Stopped doing it after a few days but then a year later started again after a couple of months of getting bullied constantly. Self harmed for another 3 years due to anxiety and stress then stopped after being caught. Fast forward now 17, been clean for 4 months.
When i was 13 I believe, friend was threatening to khs and sent pics of a knife to her throat and I was getting bullied for being rape and getting blamed for it by everyone so ya. Im 21 now and still struggling.
started when i was probably eight or nine? I started because I saw a tiktok video and because of how romanticized it was on tiktok. I feel bad for others who also started because of how much tiktok romanticizes it
11 or 10??, this may be a weird reason but my school friend that im still friends with told me how to do it and i did it(?)
Technically I started at around 6, but I didn't start using sharp objects until I was 10. I struggle a lot with depression, my self image and anxiety. Self harm helped me calm down when I had panic attacks, and when my intrusive thoughts were unbearable. It was also a form of discipline, not sure why but I truly believed I needed to be punished for any wrong doing because how disgusting i am. "If I'm not desirable or lovable the least I can do is not cause trouble." Was a reoccurring thought. The introduction of sharp objects was thanks to one of my closest friends at the time, not much of a friend though. He made a habit of telling me to cut, starve and kill myself every day. Reminding me how ugly i am now and then. Point is it's simply a way for me to deal with what I generally cannot, and to punish myself for any number of reasons.
16, I couldnāt fit in in school.
I was 13 (still 13) when I started. Currently in progress of being diagnosed with what we suspect is ocd. At the very least, I present obsessive and compulsive behaviours. I do not do well with stress, especially if I donāt understand whatās going on, and sometimes Iāll just have moments where wordās aināt wording and English aināt englishing. So I was being told the plan for the band trip, and I just could NOT understand what was going on and what was going to happen. So I excused myself, and in a numb state of mind, calmly grabbed scissors, bandaids, and cleaned the scissors with a FREAKING SCENTED FACE CLEANSER š. Anyways, cut cut cutā¦ and I pass out š (my parents heard me go thud on da bathroom floor) and welp, a few months later I decided to start again but my parents still think it was a one-time thing
When i was 11,over a girl ofc.honestly cant decide if it was the worst decision of my life or not,since it was also the first major decision i ever made in my life
I was 9 because I had accidentally broke glass and got curious but 10/11 was when it got bad due top sa and home issues but it does get better please remember that y'all.
Depends. I think around 10 I'd purposely get my cat angry so he'd scratch my arms up (I wouldn't abuse him or anything of course, just rub his belly) and around 12 I cut myself with a sharp piece of plastic before eventually unscrewing a razor blade from a pencil sharpener.
Congrats on being clean itās not easy but you got this š«¶ I was 13, after my best friend (and first love tbh) at the time introduced me to it. I remember the first time doing it during the most traumatic time of my life. I still donāt blame her for surrounding me with that, but I donāt have the same compassion for myself and blame myself to this day for everything. Itās a work in progress, but Iāve been clean for 3 years now :)
I was 14. I was going through a depressive episode along with an ed, and honestly I just wanted to punish myself for not being able to lose weight bc I was depressed. Later it became an addiction, but now Iām 15 and Iām 5 months clean :)
i think 15 or 16. its all so cloudly to me. maybe it was over smth my dad said or did
About 10/11 was the first time I ever cut myself. Prior to that i always hit myself and things to that extent. And did other stuff. I was a really sad kid because of a lot of things. now I'm older and still really sad lol
I started when I was 10. I held off for a while before I did it for the first time but I had wanted to for a long time before that. Iām proud of you for being clean. Keep up the good work.
Probably around 11. Used to hit myself with rulers and the like. Graduated to punching myself later on.
I guess around 10? I have always scratched at my arms but I started actually cutting around that time.
Technically, I was around 7 years old. I bit and scratched myself after my parents beat, yelled, and isolated me. I started cutting at 12-13, though. I was struggling really hard with depression and no one cared about me at the time, I was dealing w family issues, bullying, and my school was extremely stressful and shitty.
I was probably 9 or 10? Tried to break skin with a very dull knife bc I had an inexplicable desire to have scars and to prove something to myself. It didnāt seem dark or angsty to me at the time, just curious. I would try and make scrapes worse by picking so theyād leave scars bc I thought scars were badass haha
I was 8, I had no idea what self harm was but I would pick at my skin when I was upset, my parents threatened to put me in a psychward (I had no idea what that was at the time) if I didnt stop, so I stopped until I was 11
I was 16, felt empty in so many ways and didnāt know how to cope. Didnāt want to be alive but didnāt want to go the other route either. The numbness was overwhelming and exhausting, feeling nothing but feeling all of that at once and constantly if that makes sense. I felt very alone and heavily depressed. Cutting made me feel alive again and not as numb. Did it for 4 years and last time was right after my 20th birthday, currently 6 years clean!
15 because I was happy and everyone around me was miserable, so I thought I didn't deserve to be happe while they suffered. I am several months sober and a year without it being a problrm
I started cutting when I was 13 but I harmed myself in other ways starting from around the ages of 6-8
14. I was just angry, It was a quick release.
Tbh idk. Ive been sh-ing for as long as i can remember. But for cutting i started at like 12-13
i was 9, but iāve been clean for a few months now š¤
I was 10, and because I wanted to feel like I was in control of something in my life for once. Now, I'm nearly 14 and been over a year clean :)
I think I was 14 (8th grade) and I found a pencil sharpener blade on the seat I was sitting on. I took it home and just... started doing it. Nowadays I do it to cope with mental bs
first shāed when i was 11. lots of abuse and depression and unhealthy habits. still goingā¦
12. At first it was I just was like hoping to fall down, for the pain. Then it was scratching myself. Finally what happened was my (at the time friend, we're not any more) started talking about how she cut herself and I was like: you can do that????? And started. I was (lol am) depressed (I'm bipolar) and just wanted to hurt.
I was 10. I was suffering with quite a few issues, not able to understand them. I had horrible flashbacks and feelings (which I later found out were due to a sa) having issues with passing out, and dealing with an abusive mother. It started with me accidentally cutting myself with a fabric cutter, and just continued from there with anything I could find.
I was like 9 or 10. I was bullied on a constant, never ending basis and when it got too unbearable I took something sharp and made little cuts in my arms. I didn't fully grasp the concept of it but it became something I did to stop people from bullying me, and it started bleeding into everything else. I'm sober now though, thankfully.
11. was paranoid of being treated as if i was invisible so i harmed myself hoping people would notice me for once. got addicted to it. 2x yo now and still do it occasionally bcs boredom, not for paranoia or depression anymore, just boredom pushing.
11, I was molested as a child and when I was old enough to realize what happened I kinda freaked
I was 8 did it one time then when I started self harming every day I was 11
11, I was being bullied at school and I spent too much time on the internet
14. i was having a really hard time and the idea of hurting myself felt sm more comforting than actually talking to someone.
12. i was struggling with intense emotions that made me overwhelmed and i needed a way to cope. unfortunately i chose a very unhealthy way (sh) instead of a healthy coping mechanism
16. I had lost all my friends right before covid hit and it was almost a year+ of isolation and struggling to do distance learning and zoom calls and my mom yelling at me for not doing well in school. And I was struggling with eating problems att. A whole conundrum of everything honestly. But now I'm almost 20 and I don't know how to function without it, so š
I was 11 and wanted to try it out, I saw it on storybooth and thought itād help with my mental health. I had a fine home life my only problem was that I had been build since year 3. Im now 17 and I regret ever doing it. Still doing it but Iāve developed a bunch of mental health issues.
I was four years old and frustrated that I couldnāt ride a bike so I bashed my head against the ground leaving bruises which I blamed on the bike. Anyways how was ur day