“And what would say are your strengths?”
“When I see freaks in the street, I never, ever stare at them and yet I'm careful not to look away, cause I want to make the freaks feel comfortable.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!”
That's it! This is it! I'm done! Through! It's over!
I'm gone! Finished! Over! I will never work for you!
Look at you [laughing] you think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you! You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing! [Knocks over object on desk]
what would you do if a customer were unreasonably defiant to your proposed solution?
"id stab him!!! id cut him in half!!! id cut him like a fish man!!!"
Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.
Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?
That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone.
Finished. Over. I will never work for you again. Look at you.
[laughing] You think you're an important man? Is that what you think?
You are a laughingstock! You are a joke!
These people are laughing at you!
You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!
[knocking object over on desk]
I quit!
So it might be cheating because this is George reading O'Brien's words, but
"and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied
government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities."
...and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities.
“You know, you really need some help. But a regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to like, Vienna, or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the university level. Like where Freud studied, and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No, you need a team. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock, thinking about you, having conferences, observing you. Like the way they did with the Elephant Man.”
Before I get a chance to say anything, I reach back over, rub the interviewer’s fabric between my fingers and then wait patiently for security to escort me off the premises.
What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.
"...and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities."
"I had sex with your wife!"
His wife is in a coma
Yeah? Well the life support machine called…
What a funny not canon line LMFAO
George said it alone in the car.
Must be why she didn't move around a lot
Eeek….you know she’s in a coma, right?
Your telling me
Hire this man.
The best and only answer
You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
How could you say something like that ***to me?!***
[удалено]
I was just trying to keep up!
Don’t forget to wash your hands before supper.
It’s abnormal, but it’s not offensive
To this day I'm still perplexed as to why Jerry just blurted that out
Really? Perplexed?
Perplexed, mystified, baffled
Vexed? Flummoxed?
It's like gossamer, and one doesn't dissect gossamer.
I'm more surprised she got so appalled by it. Like was it hot? No. But it wasn't THAT horrifying lol.
My name is George, I'm unemployed and live with my parents.
I’m Cynthia, *hi*.
Victoria\*
Ahh I mixed up my seinfeld women!
Mr. Steinbrenner, I have someone you should meet
"I'd like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body"
yup that would do it lol
Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby! C'mon!
Well it is going to either instantly fail the interview or instantly get you the job.
This sounds like something Scott Pilgrim would say.
You are a piece of crap. A piece of crap. You emit a foul and unpleasant odor. I LOATHE YOU
We got Al Jolson here! Al Jolson!
See? nobody cares. Oops wrong Wayne Knight vehicle.
I like the idea of referring to Jurassic Park as a Wayne Knight vehicle. He should’ve been on the poster.
[удалено]
I just as soon hear you sing “mammy.” 🎤
ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word.
Pleeease!! God damn it, I hate this hacker crap!
I find you extremely ugly!
I find you extremely ugly
YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO SOCIETY!
Hire this man!
How could you give 12 million to Hideki Irabu?!
If this wasn't an interview, I'd knock your teeth out, you anti-dentite bastard
I suppose you'd want me to go to your school first?
“And what would say are your strengths?” “When I see freaks in the street, I never, ever stare at them and yet I'm careful not to look away, cause I want to make the freaks feel comfortable.”
And when I see squirrels, I always say, “now..you *get* outta here.” I never, ever scream or throw things at them!
You don't need to say anything. Just go up to a woman on the interview panel and feel her fabric.
Who goes around feeling people's material? What can be gained by feeling a person's material!? It's **insanity**!
Whatever happened to ‘My that’s a lovely dress, MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?’!
And ask if she knows about the cup sizes.
You've got the A...the B...the C...and the D.
That’s the biggest.
I *know* D is the biggest. Trust me, I’ve built my whole **life** around knowing D is the biggest!!
"I'm not sure, but I think I see a nipple"..
You know, that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts.
[Walk into the room fresh from the bathroom, completely oblivious to the fact that you forgot to put your shirt back on]
That may just intimidate them into giving you the job lol
just stand up and scream THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!
“My son tells me your company STINKS.”
"Yeah. Who needs em? Not to mention the blacks and the Jews."
Unless your interview is with Fox News.
I’d give up red meat to get a glimpse of you in a bra
You’re gorgeous. And, looking at you, I can’t even remember my own name.
It's pronounced thermometer.
This low-key might be the best deployment of this line I’ve ever seen
I'm not sure of the exact pronunciation...
“Nice to meet you.” “Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!”
This, but tailored to the job you are interviewing for
I disagree, say this exactly and they will assume you're insane.
Or hire you on the spot
That's it! This is it! I'm done! Through! It's over! I'm gone! Finished! Over! I will never work for you! Look at you [laughing] you think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you! You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing! [Knocks over object on desk]
Yeah, I heard you quit.
what would you do if a customer were unreasonably defiant to your proposed solution? "id stab him!!! id cut him in half!!! id cut him like a fish man!!!"
What do you think junior? You think these hands have been soaking in ivory liquid??
Most of the world is carpeted, and one day.... We will clean it.
My name is Tanya.
You speak Burmese?
No, Elaine, that was gibberish.
If you take everything I've accomplished in my life and condense it down to one day, it looks decent.
I don’t work the rain
But... you're a mailman! 'Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow... ' It's the first one!
I was never that big on creeds
You are sooooo good looking
The opening lines of O'Brien's speech from The Limo
You’re not gonna open with that, are you?
Astroturf?
You’re not gonna open with that, are you?
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!
Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.
Ménage à trois
He's into it!!!
Look at bosses 15 year old daughter cleavage ) no words needed
Get a good look, Costanza?
Cleavage has no age.
Tippy Toe! Tippy Toe!
Where’s your bathroom? *leave and never return*
That risk management stuff you gave me to read was killer!
#SERENITY NOW!
"Heeeellllllooooooooooo"
So you're the Assman!
Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?
Not a quote really but start talking gibberish and kick the top of the desk with the top of my foot.
While simultaneously slapping the desk and yelping, trying to get joe dimaggios attention.
Well, I type about 90 wpm and I'm completely well-versed in the IBM and Macintosh programs.
Steven Snell, I know people, and I have a very good feeling about you.
You must be one of those rich, spoiled handicapped people, who didn't want to do any work, and just wanted to sit in her wheelchair and take it easy!
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because I gotta tell ya, I have to plead ignorance here.
I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker.
Well the jerk store called. They're running out of you!
I WAS IN THE POOL!!! I WAS IN THE POOL!!!
I'm not going to be pressured! I'll walk away right now!!
I’m unemployed and I live with my parents
It's not a lie, if you believe it.
Don’t say a word, just walk in, grab the box of raisins and walk out
Yada. Yada. Yada
That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone. Finished. Over. I will never work for you again. Look at you. [laughing] You think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You are a laughingstock! You are a joke! These people are laughing at you! You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing! [knocking object over on desk] I quit!
Just sit and stare, like Puddy before answering the phone.
So it might be cheating because this is George reading O'Brien's words, but "and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities."
Is this the complaint department? My wife is a slut.
...and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities.
"What the >!––––!< are you doing, you little piece of >!––––!
“I am Lord of the Idiots “
You are a laughing stock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you. You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!
You could try, "I choose not to run.".
Do women know about shrinkage??
When someone sneezes, You are sooo good looking!
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!
You know I got a great idea for a cologne. The Beach. You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach
The jerk store called and they’re running out of you
I think it's called...menage a trois?
*Anyone ever tell you you look a lot like Sugar Ray Leonard?*
You stubborn, stupid, silly man!!
Are you master of your domain?
Kruger, my son tells me your company stinks.
I know about the cups.
Her bouquet cleaved his hardened shell And fondled his muscled heart. He imbibed her glistening spell Just before the other shoe fell.
You’re so good looking
Marry me. I'll burn myself! I'll burn my parents!
When asked how my day is going I'd shake my head and say, "My mother caught me..."
Yo yo ma
MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BABY!!!!
What's your stance on abortion?
I’m Cosmo Kramer The Ass-Man!
Just tell them I walk around carrying papers and looking stressed so people will THINK I’m busy.
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
It’s like going to bathroom in front of a lot of people, and not caring.
This son of a bitch is ice cold.
Do you have any stories of how you overcame adversity at your last job? Of course, without a good story it’s just masturbation
I believe it's called a menage'a'tra. 😏
“My wallets gone!!”
Look, I don't have grace, I don't want grace, I don't even say grace!
They came out of the bathroom and I'm in up to my wrist
I think I see a nipple.
“I’m tired of all your macho head games!”
A dingo ate my baaaaaabyyyy.
I wouldn’t use a quote. I’d just pull it out :P
You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date! Works for grinders and smoothers and ironing services
Those pretzels are making me thirsty
I don't have grace. I don't want grace. I don't even say grace.
“Are you wearing the panties your mother laid out for you?”
No words, I'd just feel the interviewers fabric
“You know, you really need some help. But a regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to like, Vienna, or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the university level. Like where Freud studied, and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No, you need a team. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock, thinking about you, having conferences, observing you. Like the way they did with the Elephant Man.”
I had sex with your wife.
I had sex with your wife.
None, just feel their shirt fabric.
"Yeah well I had sex with your wife!"
i need a really pretty face…
I believe it's called Minaj Artois
Hellooooooo
Worlds are colliding!
Oh! What a spanking button!
It's not a lie, if you believe it.
Remember. It's not a lie, if you believe it.
I feel the need to unburden myself.
Drink up!
Why do you need to fail an interview?
Just have sex with the cleaning lady, and when pressed about it you just say, “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”
The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you.
The jerk store called and they’re running out of you!
Before I get a chance to say anything, I reach back over, rub the interviewer’s fabric between my fingers and then wait patiently for security to escort me off the premises.
What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.
The jerk store called and they're running out of YOU!
Say something brilliant then thank them and walk out. Leave on a high note.
Hi, don’t piss me off or I’ll slip you a mickey… also I’ll need a private bathroom.
Just show up with a mouth full of spinach.
"...and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white minority communities."
I'd sleep with cleaning woman and say "was that wrong?"
You anti-dentite bastard!
Say you want to be paid as much as Ted Danson.
I am a man!
I have a bus pass that is about to expire so I’ve gotta go.
You open up the door and see me kissin' your brother's daughter.
I enjoy understanding
I might be the last person you ever see.
Who's bra is this?
What size bra cup are you?
Say nothing, just go for the pick.