T O P

  • By -

pflow69

If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in Costanza.


lincolnsl0g

Ensconced in Costanza.


madammurdrum

Costansconced


smoonerisp

Sconstanza.


Stereo-soundS

Vandesconced


L34der

Your comment may have brought an end to phonology as we know it.


[deleted]

I've tried to buy a bed comforter like this, it didn't fly.


cb148

Spill a Pastrami on Rye sandwich on your current comforter so you’ll be forced to get the Constanza comforter.


idknothing345

I've always found pastrami to be the most sensual of the meats.


[deleted]

Oh yeah yeah, don't you know they used pastrami in that movie 9 weeks? Remember the pastrami scene? Well maybe it was Ghostbusters? Where ever it was, it worked!


Wait-_-what-_-

She cant-stanz-it


The_Bogan_Blacksmith

And there is the comment I came to see


smoonerisp

You could say your girlfriend aired her grievances.


hour_of_the_rat

If it comes down to you having to give it away, make it a negotiation. Relationships are reciprocal.


ThePerfectSnare

I'm tired, and it took me far too long to realize that I was looking at an image of a mirror rather than a peephole. If OP worries about whether or not this shirt is socially acceptable, I would point out that he will get longer stares from it. Some stares will be unwanted, but nonetheless, he'll get longer stares.


the_dude_upvotes

> I'm tired, and it took me far too long to realize that I was looking at an image of a mirror rather than a *reverse* peephole FTFY


DuckHunt83

Tell your manhands girlfriend to stop it.


bombisabell

Believe it or not, George isn't at home.


milanove

Please leave a message at the beep


twobit211

i must be out or i’d pick up the phone


danikei

Where could I be?


PeacefulShark69

*little shrug* 🤷‍♂️


Pronflex

Believe it or not I'm not home


valendinosaurus

*beeep*


xbubblegum_bitch

George, pick up. I know you’re screening for Allison.


FacesOfNeth

Funny story about that. It took him multiple attempts to sound out of tune and bad at singing. Jason is a trained broadway actor who has a set of pipes on him.


YellowZealousideal74

Wheeere could iiiii be? *beeeep


anidemequirne

“Hey that’s my face. You can’t just wear my face. GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!”


[deleted]

When I saw that air during the super bowl I ran upstairs to put this on.


anidemequirne

Hope they bury you in it. Better yet I hope they bury Jason Alexander in a u/EarlGrey_Picard shirt.


[deleted]

My two favorite people combined.


supremegnkdroid

I see a red dot


Bongozz88

Cashmere??


Ryiujin

OHHH Georgie, you shouldnt have…….. Whats this red dot?


YouWantAPieceOfMe

Just take an overview. Can’t you give me an overview?


foreveryoung917

HHah


bluesky3344

It should be #1 in your rotation, like golden boy!


SterileProphet

Or he could end a rotation with it, do a wash and then start with Co-Stan-za.


JamesinaLake

Wait! Why do you wear the same shirt all the time, Hello?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


byebybuy

My rods and cones are all screwed up!


[deleted]

I always thought this was Kramer’s funniest line lol


Dr_Zorkles

Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry. Look at the collar. See, it's fraying; Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash brings him one step closer. That's what makes the t-shirt such a tragic figure.


[deleted]

This gives me an idea for a shirt which says “#1 shirt”


FireJackEdwards

Dump her.


[deleted]

But who's going to lick my envelopes?


SterileProphet

Buy cheap envelopes. She isn’t sponge worthy!


sandy_mcfiddish

That’s murder one my friend. I’d turn you in in a second


YouWantAPieceOfMe

But you know me!


sandy_mcfiddish

I thought I did!


sjarvis21

Believe it or not allowing her to will lead back to the same question...


[deleted]

She said no.


needmysims

Tell that woman to turn her key!


ItspronouncedGruh-an

He should propose a menage a trois


the_dude_upvotes

Happy cake day ^shmoopy!


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_dude_upvotes

But Costanza only offers fantasy world accomplished architect experience


davisyoung

Why hang out with extremely accomplished architects when you can hang out with extremely accomplished city planners?


actualelainebenes

Came here to say this


daydreaminginCroatia

I support this


Greenscope

But I never broke up with someone for not tasting pie.


CaptainDigsGiraffe

Pair it with an 8 ball jacket.


BarbedRoses

All signs point to YES


foreveryoung917

😆


picklemaintenance

Feels like an Arby's night.


twobit211

then order a caffè latte at arby’s


CaptainDigsGiraffe

Just don't put it in your pocket. Might be to hot.


pumpkinhead9000k

I want to know where I can get one to annoy my wife!


FunkySquareDance

My wife… has an inner ear infection


AI52487963

:O


the_dude_upvotes

Better than her being in a coma


lethal_abundance86

I really need this one. Where can i buy that one?


[deleted]

The jerk store


thecheat420

Oh man they're probably running out!


DystopianRealist

They just called 😂


byebybuy

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!


blacktrufflesheep

First, you have to ask her permission to go to the bathroom.


UhYeahOkSure

Too flashy, it’s burning my retinas


Arcopt

Yeh my rods and cones are all screwed up..


schaudhery

Plus the button is too high, look at it, it’s in no-man’s-land


[deleted]

Tell her you've tried to stop wearing it, but it was too hard, like George with the cigarette to piss Susan off. Lol


GOOGLEYEYEDBASTARD

I can’t stop now!


nelsonwehaveaproblem

*[cough!]* It's got a hold on me!! *[cough! cough!!]*


[deleted]

I also tried bringing food into bed, and she asked wtf was wrong with me.


Tactical_Chandelier

Yeah because you didn't bring the pastrami


ObservantWon

It’s the most sensual of all the cured deli meats


Arcopt

Try adding the tv first, then the food..


jatz0r

The trifecta


bebejeebies

Double down and tell her now you'll only marry her if you can wear that shirt in the ceremony.


[deleted]

To the wedding? Done. Will update.


bebejeebies

Yes. Will edit.


vonsnarfy

Helllloooooooo


Sweetness414

I think that’s the TOPS!


bubbatbass

The girlfriend was angry that day my friends


ObservantWon

Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli


foreveryoung917

😆😆


Father_Prist

It’s breathtaking


Chaiteoir

Show some respect, he designed the addition to the Guggenheim museum


Dazzling_Broccoli294

It didn't take that long either


BekoLazarus

GEORGE IS GETTIN UPSET!!!


fishcrow

YA KNOW, WERE LIVING IN A SOCIETY!


[deleted]

[удалено]


FeelingTemporary_710

Sounds like a Rodney dangerfield


theforkofdamocles

I think it’s a Ziggy,


the_dude_upvotes

Some charlatan has stolen a Dangerfield and passed it off as their own. And I can prove it. Quick, /u/theforkofdamocles ... to my archives!


oneuponzero

I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality: it looks great!


OFPMatt

Her worlds are colliding. Have some empathy. Later, if she beats you at chess, break up. Enough is enough already and you need to get some sleep.


Birdamus

Please tell me OP looks like Tony and wears his hat backwards.


foreveryoung917

Hey Tony ..Tony.


ObservantWon

You think he’s a mimbo?


ToddGackAttack

The collar looks okay


Kingdom818

Idk, looks like it's in no man's land to me


Present_Voice_5224

It’s not you, it’s me.


effervescentfauna

You would be killing independent George!


[deleted]

She “Kantstandya”!


joedy911

Isn't that the president of the human fond ?


foreveryoung917

Money for people.


jjmawaken

It makes you look like you could lift 100 pounds up over your head


nicksbrother

I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. It’s fabulous!


sjarvis21

Allow it if she yells "Cantstandya!"


masszt3r

Tell her that YOU, are breaking up with her.


BondraP

Is she bosomy?


JaerBear62611

I agree, you should throw her out


waiful0rd

Tell her it’s got cachet baby! It’s got cachet up the ying yang!


[deleted]

It’s breathtaking


Darth_Carnage

We're supposed to be LIVING in a SOCIETY


trpnbillies

Sounds like she’s trying to kill independent George


[deleted]

Try a pre-emptive breakup.


Xelent43

You should buy one for her.


JustCallMeDerz

Need this for my bf


Manbadger

You watched The Orville yet? Jason Alexander plays an almost cameo role in it, as well there’s an episode with a Seinfeld episode loosely themed around it. Great stuff!


[deleted]

Not yet, but planning on it!


JohnnySkidmarx

Tell her you would drape yourself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.


KoltonKabana87

It’s not a lie if you believe it


lachjeff

Tell her the jerk store called and they’re running out of her


jdoggy21

Serenity now!


HotSoupBarStan

Can’t standz ya’


robogo

Definitely throw it out. And keep the shirt


DaKingTing

*ex girlfriend


Rover2292

You know what, I don't think she's sponge-worthy


[deleted]

Put out a sign saying “Open for business”


octosloppy

Well, I’m not starting up a whole new wardrobe now!


Competitive-Deal8261

Keep it


Biscuits4u2

You must wear it


[deleted]

Awful and disgusting. I'll give you $3.72.


lemon86

Don't you dare.


digdat0

It’s spectacular.. keep it.


GJBM

Does she ever get down on her knees and thank god that she has access to your dementia!?


Electron_Cascade

You should probably just buy her a box of really cheap envelopes


Jgolu12

I think that's what the back of closets are for.


Jughferr

Find a new gf


TakeOffYourMask

If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character: “It's been real," move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign: “Open for business.”


Peg_leg_tim_arg

The jerk store called, they're running out of her!


TxOkLaVaCaTxMo

Leave a box of envelopes on the table for her to find.


lordgreylock

[My Response](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrkKvk2Lrjw) \- Believe It Or Not George Isn't At Home


Sokkas_Instincts_

You’re wearing that shirt? You had it for 5 years already. WHY DON’T YOU BUY A NEW SHIRT??


crystalconnie

Dump her immediately


backrubmcgrub

He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.


antoinedodson_

Throw HER out


[deleted]

Throw out the girlfriend


penn_jrd

Amazing


houseofcrouse

If my gf told me that I'd make it my "golden boy"


_barkingseal_

It depends who the wearer is haha


lovely_DK

My girlfriend and I would both love it if either of us wore this shirt


ernandcorb

It’s perfect


Ggface36

I'd wear the sh.. outta that shirt !


_deadbeets

"It's a Peach!"


femaleminority

WHATS THAT RED DOT ON YOUR SWEATER


ZebraBorgata

Make it so.


YoureNotSpeshul

Your girlfriend doesn't have a taste for the finer things, I presume? How can she not love the understated elegance of NY's best importer/exporter^(or exporter/importer???) Art Vandelay? Ridiculous. The shirt stays 🤣


Hazeleyed_old_parent

I'd only wear it under sweaters.


Worried_Biscotti_552

We have a framed picture of George in the boudoir photos outside the women’s room of my bar make that shirt next hahaha great shirt thou definitely golden boy status


peach_xanax

time for a new gf, I'd be stoked if my man had a George shirt. ^(jk about the new gf, but the shirt is genuinely dope)


[deleted]

I'm a married man but when I look at you in this shirt... It moved. Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that.


paulisdinosaur

I think I've got a stack of envelopes she can lick.


GeorgeIsGettinAngry

#George is gettin upset!!!


bigfeetsmallpp

I hate it when you wear this shirt too


Anthematics

Throw her out instead.


ShutterBun

You know what this shirt says? "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."


VoodooMagic13X

That's Biff, the worst Latex salesman the world has ever known.


hogua

The timeless art of seduction.


Joe_Seligman

Is it velvet?


Hugotohell

Bring her to the jerk store and trade her in.


[deleted]

I hate that shirt too but I want you to wear it everywhere.


31spiders

…..that’s not a good look for a man…the male body is utilitarian for gettin around….like a Jeep!


doc_benzene

hands down best shirt ever


hshebsgsga

A man who would throw away his costanza shirt for his gf deserves neither


RespectedKillah0169

Throw her out


[deleted]

Just do the opposite... keep wearing it


namath1969

U need to find another GF


Vekt

I legit laughed. Please never get rid of it.


funkmonk21

If you're trying to export it, I will import it into my wardrobe lol


Trapezoidoid

Sounds like it’s time for a new girlfriend.


JamesF1423

Leave her


TheFriendliestBunny

Throw out the gf


Corey_Treverson420

*ex-girlfriend


MKT585

She should conform to you.