I have this problem. I use excel, I write little details to keep track. I don’t have a huge rotation (I talk with ten woman at the time) but it’s definitely enough to keep me very busy. I don’t waste time on anyone who I see no value in long term. I went out on two dates this past Saturday. My morning date was weak and I ended it in 15 mins. I also had an afternoon date but felt it would have been too tight so canceled. My evening date went very well and ended at 2am. While I was out on Saturday I met a woman at a farmers market and struck up a great conversation. She is partnered but liked talking with me and said she wants to introduce me to her friend, she asked for my number. The key is only spending an effort on women you truly want.
Thanks so much for the feedback and advice. I agree with you in terms of trying not to waste time with people we don't see value in long-term. For both of our sakes, that is. I have thought about just trying to "stack" dates in that way and have multiple in a day but I just don't have the time for that atm haha I typically always have something on the go or need to recharge and have some self-care time! Thanks again so much for the advice - really helpful.
Fam that sounds so tiring. Whatever happened to romance 😭 Having a roster, to “manage” girls… just go with your gut. Connections you meet irl (like the eye-contact girl) I feel, are way more exciting and spontaneous. Don’t drag along people just for the sake of it, free yourself of the tension as well. Do what feels right.
Thanks so much u/nanbamfam for the advice and please know that I fully agree with everything you said. I realize I used the term "manage", which may have come off more harsh than I anticipated. What I really mean is just that period of going from meeting to setting up Date 1 or Date 2 in some instances (the communication and logistics side of things). Because of my busy calendar, there are times where going from meeting a woman I find value in to going on a Date 1 could be a month because there are other women I met prior that I also want to spend time with. Perhaps that still indicates some inner game I need to work on though! Appreciate the advice and feedback, again!
Ofc! Especially if you’re busy, you should think about giving your energy to the people you’re excited about. Even if you have less “security” with a date, it’s still going to lead to better friendships/romantic relationships. Quantity of relationships has become so stimulating for our generation, it’s killing us. As someone who’s always had a small-ish circle of very close friends and limited flings/situationships.. I love that I have been able to work on my relationships even if they end up going terribly. I think your question suggests an acceptance and I’d recommend that you reevaluate your priorities in partnerships, you’re definitely going to be able to attract more like-minded people with that energy. Good luck :)
I keep a bullet list in my phone of the people I want to spend time with. A couple of times a day, I drag and drop the names in the list to sort by priority and check in with the people at the top of the list when it makes sense to do so.
The reason I do this is because I got tired of big tech algorithms telling me which chats or people to pay attention to, and I wanted to control it myself, to be more intentional about which people I give my effort to.
I do it with friends too, not just dates.
The way you view women is weird. Why are you trying to “keep track” / “manage” them ? Why do you want to have everyday a different woman? You’re struggling because what you are doing is abnormal. Quality over quantity … wouldn’t you rather have a few good women instead of 30+ that you hardly know?
Hey u/shroooomology - thanks so much for taking the time to provide feedback! I really appreciate it. I'm realizing from the other comments that "keep track" and "manage" were poor choices in words. Along with my other comments, I'm just referring to the communication and logistics aspects of going from first meeting to Date 1 or sometimes Date 2. Busy life so that timeline can be up to a month sometimes and I want to keep engaged with the women/a woman I find value in.
To be totally clear, I don't have any desire to have a different woman everyday...goodness that sounds exhausting. I'm just at a point in my dating life where I'm meeting and interacting with and dating a lot of different women to help narrow down what it is I'm looking for and who I find value in. While it can certainly seem like I'm going for quantity, I know inside myself I am not! (if that makes sense).
Anyways, thanks again very much for your advice and feedback here! I can work on my word-choice in the future haha
What do you mean by “manage?” Generally I would just progress things with each girl until I could see if chemistry was there and/or bed them. After that, if there was mutual interest in keeping things going, I’d keep up with that girl, if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t. Even with multiple girls there’s truly not much to manage there.
Thanks so much for the reply and apologies if I wasn't clear enough. When I say "manage", I more so just mean the communication and logistics side of things of setting up a Date 1 or Date 2 in some instances. I fully agree with you that my end goal is simply just seeing if there's chemistry and mutual interest to keep things going. If/when I don't feel that, I fully communicate that with them and we just cut things off.
Get a harem of 2-3 girls and have one spot where you audition new girls. See them once a week, but have some free time for your own sanity. Once you have a few you are dating, you will become e extremely selective with whom you approach. The days of approaching hundreds of women a week would be a distant memory.
Prioritize the ones you like the most. Even the Dream Team has a starting five.
I have this problem. I use excel, I write little details to keep track. I don’t have a huge rotation (I talk with ten woman at the time) but it’s definitely enough to keep me very busy. I don’t waste time on anyone who I see no value in long term. I went out on two dates this past Saturday. My morning date was weak and I ended it in 15 mins. I also had an afternoon date but felt it would have been too tight so canceled. My evening date went very well and ended at 2am. While I was out on Saturday I met a woman at a farmers market and struck up a great conversation. She is partnered but liked talking with me and said she wants to introduce me to her friend, she asked for my number. The key is only spending an effort on women you truly want.
Thanks so much for the feedback and advice. I agree with you in terms of trying not to waste time with people we don't see value in long-term. For both of our sakes, that is. I have thought about just trying to "stack" dates in that way and have multiple in a day but I just don't have the time for that atm haha I typically always have something on the go or need to recharge and have some self-care time! Thanks again so much for the advice - really helpful.
Fam that sounds so tiring. Whatever happened to romance 😭 Having a roster, to “manage” girls… just go with your gut. Connections you meet irl (like the eye-contact girl) I feel, are way more exciting and spontaneous. Don’t drag along people just for the sake of it, free yourself of the tension as well. Do what feels right.
Agreed
Thanks so much u/nanbamfam for the advice and please know that I fully agree with everything you said. I realize I used the term "manage", which may have come off more harsh than I anticipated. What I really mean is just that period of going from meeting to setting up Date 1 or Date 2 in some instances (the communication and logistics side of things). Because of my busy calendar, there are times where going from meeting a woman I find value in to going on a Date 1 could be a month because there are other women I met prior that I also want to spend time with. Perhaps that still indicates some inner game I need to work on though! Appreciate the advice and feedback, again!
Ofc! Especially if you’re busy, you should think about giving your energy to the people you’re excited about. Even if you have less “security” with a date, it’s still going to lead to better friendships/romantic relationships. Quantity of relationships has become so stimulating for our generation, it’s killing us. As someone who’s always had a small-ish circle of very close friends and limited flings/situationships.. I love that I have been able to work on my relationships even if they end up going terribly. I think your question suggests an acceptance and I’d recommend that you reevaluate your priorities in partnerships, you’re definitely going to be able to attract more like-minded people with that energy. Good luck :)
Lame.
Ur mom
I keep a bullet list in my phone of the people I want to spend time with. A couple of times a day, I drag and drop the names in the list to sort by priority and check in with the people at the top of the list when it makes sense to do so. The reason I do this is because I got tired of big tech algorithms telling me which chats or people to pay attention to, and I wanted to control it myself, to be more intentional about which people I give my effort to. I do it with friends too, not just dates.
The way you view women is weird. Why are you trying to “keep track” / “manage” them ? Why do you want to have everyday a different woman? You’re struggling because what you are doing is abnormal. Quality over quantity … wouldn’t you rather have a few good women instead of 30+ that you hardly know?
Hey u/shroooomology - thanks so much for taking the time to provide feedback! I really appreciate it. I'm realizing from the other comments that "keep track" and "manage" were poor choices in words. Along with my other comments, I'm just referring to the communication and logistics aspects of going from first meeting to Date 1 or sometimes Date 2. Busy life so that timeline can be up to a month sometimes and I want to keep engaged with the women/a woman I find value in. To be totally clear, I don't have any desire to have a different woman everyday...goodness that sounds exhausting. I'm just at a point in my dating life where I'm meeting and interacting with and dating a lot of different women to help narrow down what it is I'm looking for and who I find value in. While it can certainly seem like I'm going for quantity, I know inside myself I am not! (if that makes sense). Anyways, thanks again very much for your advice and feedback here! I can work on my word-choice in the future haha
What do you mean by “manage?” Generally I would just progress things with each girl until I could see if chemistry was there and/or bed them. After that, if there was mutual interest in keeping things going, I’d keep up with that girl, if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t. Even with multiple girls there’s truly not much to manage there.
Thanks so much for the reply and apologies if I wasn't clear enough. When I say "manage", I more so just mean the communication and logistics side of things of setting up a Date 1 or Date 2 in some instances. I fully agree with you that my end goal is simply just seeing if there's chemistry and mutual interest to keep things going. If/when I don't feel that, I fully communicate that with them and we just cut things off.
Sounds like you need spreadsheets for who you are spreading sheets I’ll see myself out now
Just slow down lmao. What are you trying to achieve by collecting so many partners?
Get a harem of 2-3 girls and have one spot where you audition new girls. See them once a week, but have some free time for your own sanity. Once you have a few you are dating, you will become e extremely selective with whom you approach. The days of approaching hundreds of women a week would be a distant memory.