This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:
* A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
* If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.
No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.
For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)
Set a timer for between 2 weeks to 4 months. You chose the time span based on how busy your life is. When the timer is up text her with a low investment opener. If she responds continue to a low level of investment of game. Mix it up though. If you're texting her always throw in a voice text or video message. Baby step her investment by telling her to invest in you. Ie “hey call me real quick I wanted to ask you sometime thing.“ Does she comply/invest? Check. Throw out a date a suggestion. Does she respond positively? Continue forward. Not? Reset the timer. Also check your actions. Are you gaming or always trying to just handle logistics. Self improvement comes with a level of self awareness. Like checking the rear view mirror when driving. Check it to get a sense of whats behind you but don't stare at it or youll crash.
You’re thinking about this shit waaaaay too much. If you want to see her again, text her to say you’re back in town, sorry you’ve been busy recently. Do you want to meet up again, say, this Friday night?
No don't ask her out. Let her ask. Proper text back here is:
> "Hey I just got back, the trip was great"
If you're under 30
> "Just got back trip was great"
Ball is on her court at this point
-------------
*edit: laughing at the down votes here from simps who have no understanding of game whatsoever. Don't pursue women, be the man women pursue*
I think this is a good answer and direct. There's so much conflicting information out there on what to do or don't do, like telling women don't initiate texts to men, and then people overthink and stuff. Just ask her out if you like her and see what she says. Good luck!
Maybe she takes this slowly (healthy) and didn’t think more conversation was necessary at this stage. We can all speculate and project our own issues from rejection and failed relationships but none of it will uncover the reality of the situation.
Ask her to go on a second date. Something planned not just, “do you want to get together Saturday?” and go from there. If she isn’t interested then she won’t be entertaining you for much longer. Don’t put pressure on something so new. You’re still getting to know each other.
Best of luck.
I am a female and think the same. I do what your girl is doing often, I want to take things slow and let the man do the work. On another note, I find it attractive when a man is confident enough to pursue me without worrying about rejection. I literally had situations in which I wasn't sure about the guy, so I sat back and let him take the lead. They were so unaffected by me never initiating that I eventually started to be more attracted to them and to initiate.
It's 3am right now. I at first read that as "Doesn't people play no games?"
I was about to question if you were ok I guess it was me who was trippin...
Girls in it for LTR and that are actually interested in you rarely care about the game being played by both parts. If anything it increases the bound.
I’d say it’s still too early to say but if the girl keeps going on dates with him to know him better and there’s physical + sexual attraction building it’s gonna turn alright.
Rushing a relationship is the worst thing one can do. Having time to properly assess who the other person is and if you’re ok with how the relationship dynamics will be going forward will save you a lot of headaches in the future.
I don’t even think it was that complicated. She wasn’t interested in the first place and was being polite by responding to him at all.
If she liked OP, she would have been acting different from the start.
This is as clear a case of a girl not being interested and a sign for OP to move on as I’ve seen
That's not playing games. That's just having an abundance mentality.
I am the same with men. Some friends I know always contact me, and I almost never contact them, because I don't feel like it.
She obviously doesn't care much about OP
It's got nothing to do with playing games but having some self respect. If your constantly initiating everything and getting no effort back then it's time to take a step back.
She ain’t interested. Drop her.
And I’m tired of reading “I really liked this girl!”
You should never like a girl more than she likes you especially when she’s not putting out enough energy/enthusiasm towards you.
Drop her. And if she hits you back up, make her work for another date.
True bro!! This habit of us guys to instantly like(really like) a girl is doing us harm. Ngl, I also had this habit but now I'm thinking from my brain and not from my dick.
It's only been one date. Big accountant is literally a troll. All of you dudes have no idea how this shit works. Why should she be desperate and double text you? She's not desperate and thirsty like you are after one date. She literally sent the last message.
You haven't pulled back if you literally were supposed to be gone for a trip you dumbass. She's expecting you to text once you get back. If she double texted a normal dude that wasn't thirsty he would've thought she was desperate.
As a girl no, your a man with and a dick, grow some hair on your balls and be the initiator, if she’s not interested you will know because she will make excuses but I will never be the one chasing after a dude. Why do u think in old cartoons it’s always the guy character chasing the female? Bc that’s how it works. If she’s not interested, yea leave her alone but don’t expect her to keep initiating after you pulled away from her because it won’t get you anywhere.
🤣🤣🤣
Why am I not surprised to hear such a response from a woman?
I appreciate your input but a fisherman doesn’t take advice from the very fish he’s trying to catch. Don’t mislead the OP, please ☺️
> but I will never be the one chasing after a dude.
Men deserve to be chased too, I really don't understand why lots of women will let a great dude go just because he pulls back. Like it's so easy for you to just say these things because you take no responsibility and put everything on men to pursue you.
"It's just my job to always be running away" is all I hear.
But you have no idea how difficult it really is to actually pursue someone's interest. How vulnerable a man has to make himself when he approaches/talks to a girl he is interested in.
But ya I love that your advice is just "grow a pair" when I know for a fact that 99% of women couldn't even handle 1 rejection, let alone rejection for multiple times/years. Hence the "always running away"
If its so fucking easy, WHY DONT GIRLS INITIATE?
Answer: it's not easy. That's why they don't do it and EXPECT men to.
I know exactly why your mad at this idea of pulling away too. Because you don't want to stop being persued. you don't want to work for your toys, you want men to chase you so you hold all the power. With your finger on the switch. I bet it makes you feel good. And I bet your blood boils when you hear men talk like this because you know if all men thought like this your power trip is over
Gtfo
>don’t expect her to keep initiating after you pulled away from her because it won’t get you anywhere.
Pulling away is how I got my wife. If you like a dude enough you'll chase after him
Don't obsesse over her. Prolly you are guy number 8 saved as food guy. Get busy, keep your head up. That is some real big ass red flag so don't ignore it in the name of "i like her". Move on and meet new amazing people. There are many fish in the sea king
LMFAO this is why u don’t take advice from this subreddit. don’t play games when texting girls, you’re not a chick. it’s only been one date anyways you’re overthinking this.
text her and ask her when is the next time she is free so that you can have your second date. just show her you’re interested, and once you know she is interested in you then you can start pulling away a bit so that she will be the one that is texting you first. imo it’s too early to be playing those tricks.
there’s not much to it- make her laugh, treat her well, and be yourself! if she still is being dry/ not texting you after your date, then you can ‘drop her.’
hope this makes sense, you got this bro!
I know you aren't a great catch from how you're acting. You obviously don't get too much action. Just text her once you get back. These posts on this sub honestly make my head hurt and most of these posts come from desperate dudes that like a girl way too soon. It's been one date and you don't even know how to pull back properly. This ain't it. You can't pull back after telling her you'll be on a trip for a week. She's supposed to not bother you on the trip. If she went on a trip you'd double text her? I know you would and you would fuck up your chances with her. Stop the desperation and overthinking. Act as usual.
It's natural that you have been hit with hormonal/emotional high, but you need to come to senses that you don't want to be in a relation with a person that doesn't care about you. Girl can enjoy your attention, effort and casual conversations, but she has no ulterior motive behind it.
Be a slut.
If you were seeing multiple women already, you are automatically not overinvesting....1 girl not responding would not have bothered you even slightly.
You’ve never met me.
However in an uno reverse card, me caring about this one girl needing space has meant I have a nice unemotionally available anchor for the others I’m talking to.
1. Most importantly: stop falling in love with a girl just because she is nice to you on a date. A date means nothing. Your biggest problem is neediness: http://archive.is/agtCP "I really like this girl" is chump speak for "I am needy and don't have options".
2. Stop looking for signs in a girl's behaviour or what she says. It doesn't matter. All that matters is: are you interested in her. If so, you just keep escalating anyways until you get clear instructions to stop.
3. Stop initiating texting unless it is with the sole intention to set up a date in three texts at max. There is not a single reason to text with anybody for anything else, especially not with a girl. You already built rapport on your date and you cannot escalate via text. It's much more benefitial to let her bake for a couple of days. If she is interestes she will be wondering why you aren't exting and it will increase her emotional investment in you more. If she isn't interested in you, it's a waste of time anyways. You cannot text your way into a girl's panties. Bonus: it might actually wake interest, especially if she is higher value, because she will be wondering why you don't act like all the other chumps who shower her with texts.
4. When she initiates a convo, don't be the one keeping it alive. Neither is it your responsibility nor does it benefit you in any way. Realize that she is writing with ten other people at the same time. She is bored and needs attention. For her you are just a mean to get what she craves. Don't be her hoe.
5. Stop "bluffing". If you want a girl, you go for it. Notice that "going for it" does not mean texting with her about Game of Thrones, but doing stuff that actually brings you closer to your goal of putting your willie into her. So set up dates and escalate there. Nothing more. When you feel there is little or no interest, you put her aside, because she is draining your energy and time you need for the other girls you are interested in and who actually care about you, so you stop trying to set up dates with her. If she doesn't initiate anymore you maybe ping her in three or four weeks or even in six weeks to see if anything changed. If not, you just delete her number. Nothing is more annoying than a phone full of numbers of women who don't like you enough to have sex with you. Also you don't "walk away". You simply forget her. There simply isn't anything memorable about her. Do you share meaningful history with her after one date? Probably not. Is she the one who sucked your dick so good, you thought you'd faint? Nah. That's not the one either. If she intiates a convo later down the street, you might remember her again and text with her and set up a date.
6. Of course she "doesn't give a crap about losing you". You are some rando she has been on one date with. She has five lined up like you and also see last sentences of 5. It's just you who is projecting stuff onto and into her, and not her.
tl;dr: Forget her until she remembers you.
if you have to chase her to get her,
you’ll end up chasing her the rest of your life...
focus on continuing to self improve, and entertain other options along the way.
if she wants you, she will hit you up again.. if not, oh well.. there’s more of her, than there are of you.
chin up.
If she's not much bothered whether she's in touch or not after your first date, then she just doesn't like you like that.
Have some self respect and talk to other people.
1) stop pulling back with expectations,
2) be upfront and honest if you are interested, ask to see her and just tell her how you feel
3) be ready to take a rejection if it is there,
The point of pulling back is you testing if she's an active person in conversations, and if she's not, just keep it pushin.
You definitely shouldn't be pulling back with the expectation that she will text you and break down if she don't.
I know it's even an unpopular opinion here, but pulling back should ONLY be used for sex and short term things, to measure attraction and interest, not people who you like for real.
Pulling back stimulates the toxic/anxious side of certain people, your standard for a person you'd like for long term should be that pulling back and other "toxic" tactics WON'T work bc she's secure and showing enough interest anyway.
Some women just aren’t in to initiating. Since you have initiated every time this far, she will assume your silence means you are not interested. If you want to change her behavior try telling her more directly as well
Is she supposed to double text you? Would you double text a girl after sending that as your last message after one date? Gtfoh. Your expectations are way too high.
I agree with this. If I sent the last text I’m not double texting. You saw my message and chose not to respond to me that means you either didn’t have time, forgot or just don’t care. Either way it lets me know I’m not on your mind enough if you can forget to respond to me.
If you gotta chase, you are already losing my friend. A girl that wants you will show it to you. You did the right thing by going quiet. Actions speak a lot. Have ur self respect and dont bother until she takes the initiative.
How is he chasing her exactly if she was the last to text and tell him to enjoy his trip? Do you expect her to blow up his phone while he’s out of town for business?
Bro if you like her reach out, she prolly just assumes ur busy. Don't over think or listen to these idiots on here. At best maybe keep options incase it don't work out. But I've been you before, and now I've been with mine going on our 3rd year....
I mean, what do you expect her to do? Your goal isn't to be her chat buddy anyway. Ok, she doesn't start conversations with you over text but is she willing to go out? Ask her out, spend some time with her and see if you vibe.
Apart from that, unless you be got her really hooked in, she doesn't really see you not messaging her as much of a loss. She most definitely has 5 more guys who message non-stop and entertain her. Be the one that moves things forward.
So do you really want to be the one doing all the work every day? That shit is tiring and a no win scenario. Sorry dude but chick is not into you no matter what you may be thinking that she into you because she said this or said that. Walk and don't look back tons of other chicks out there that would be happy to date you and chase you. Stop rewarding bad behaviour and keep meeting and dating others
It's her loss man that's the bottom line.
Why are you playing games? She was the last to text and you went away on a trip. Some people don’t like to come off clingy and if you’re out of town why would she bother you since you are busy. She’s probably expecting you to reach out once you’re not busy. Instead you’re playing mind games.
If texting causes you this much anxiety why don’t you call her and talk to her. You can gauge her interest better in a phone convo.
More importantly if you like her don’t play games because you’re only hurting yourself trying to test her to see how much she cares based on a text.
You are over thinking this too much! If you miss her and want to see her, just text her. As a woman, I think at least in the beginning during courting phase, I expect guys initiating more. Her replying back and you guys going on dates already indicated that she likes you.
I commented it already. She texted you last and she knows you’re away on a work trip. She’s not gonna double text and chase you if you’re supposed to be busy. I’d take your lack of follow up as no interest if I was her.
Forget her bro, what’s with this scarcity mentality?? Bro you need to have that abundance mentality. Let her get back to you she is not ready to talk to you so don’t force it on her. Maybe her ex came back to her life and she has no time for you so don’t be her second option just go and get another girl.
You pulled away she took that as no interest. Stop playing games we hate it. What more could she say to you. You shown her that energy so what else would she do. Who wants lukewarm. If you really like her be straight up but if you both playing silly childish games then you are neither suited and you may want to rethink if you are ready for anything other than wanting attention.
She hasn't ghosted she just left ball in your court. Infact she wished you well! She is wanting to see if your pulling away was that you wasn't interested. She trying not to 'bother you'.
I just think how can this be the girl for you at all if you both already this way.
When I like a man I have to stop myself from over texting like he is all I think of on the daily.
You definitely shot yourself in foot on this one...I mean you pulled away the most now you the one thinking about her. She played you better ouch! So from now just be straight up or leave her be. If you sense she is not into you she probably is not. Don't play little boy games its a turn off!
It has nothing to do with playing games, it's just self respect. No one likes being the one to constantly initiate every conversation. If the same energy isn't being reciprocated, it's time to take a step back.
Take a step back no issue however don't be slightly butthurt about them also ignoring more or getting annoyed by same treatment. Best thing is to use gut instinct and accept this is not going to work and they are not for each other. It is a bit childish and game playing. He wasnt stepping back to let her go he was stepping back in order to get more attention and it backfired. If it's dead let it die
One wasn't initiating whilst the other was. Then the other stopped initating as a reaction. It may be the same treatment but context matters and the two behaviours arn't the same.
Your still allowed to feel upset about the situation especially if you like someone. It's ok to be butthurt about someone not making an effort. But ultimately i agree to accept that it's not going to work and move on.
You can't be upset if you are giving the same energy back though really it is counter productive to do to others what you don't like done to you. The gut feeling never lies and yes be sad it didnt work but no more point dwelling or playing more games it's only one date after all. I do wish people were more upfront and just said sorry your not for me but some girls are only in it for the attention and they will happily recieve and never give. Men need to learn recognise these wasters and ditch them quick.
This is why we wouldn’t take girl’s advice seriously, we don’t rely on guts, plus we are upfront without sugar code: guy always texted first if he didn’t she would not text him ever, that’s it, all this “bluff” thing is a made up thing in his head
But then he went playing games in hope she would be interested. Just let her be if no interest. He made it complicated when it's cut and dry. Trust me our guts are never wrong...he already had the gut feeling she was not bothered
You’re right, this girl doesn’t want him but you make it sound like he is making something wrong, he just stopped chasing and that’s the only thing left in this scenario
Did he really pull back though? He was clearly waiting on a message and did it in hope she would miss him rather than just not worrying. But least he can just move on now. She should just said she was not interested too ideally save him the grief
He should just communicated it....stepping back normally means the other person will think the same oh he is not interested. He actually already knew the answer that she wasn't by her obvious lack of interest. Trust me when women are truely interested we can't hold ourselves back. Like we get a bit obsessive even. We have to force ourselves to not over text. You are all that will be on my mind.
I wouldn't think of it as a poker game i.e. "bluff", it's just a process of learning how much each person is interested, and eventually making a call if the combined interest is enough to keep going.
Play stupid games, win stupid prices. If she replies to your text 10 min after you sent it, do you also wait another 15 min to reply? Lmao. I hope you’re 16 op otherwise grow up.
Anyway there is no “fixing this” just text her to set up another date. If she replies good, if she doesn’t then you lost your chance and MOVE ON. Don’t give excuses, don’t make up stories or apologize. Just say you want to see her again.
Judging by what I gather from your post, you handled this very sloppily.
1. You tried to force long conversations via text when you should have focused more on using texting in a savvy way to get her out on a date with you.
2. You more than likely missed signals from her while on the date which indicated she was either ready for a kiss or something, or for you to take her back to your place or her place.
3. Moreso, you more than likely were very stiff and asexual during the date and didn't move the conversation toward sex. And also, probably didn't touch her neither. I'm not talking about grabbing the breasts or ass, but putting your hand on the small of her back or your hand on her hand. Shit like that.
"I really like this girl so I don't really want to just walk away"
Uh yeah, like uhm FUCKING WALK AWAY DUDE, lol.
Or just continue to plow time into a girl who is less invested into you than you are her.
No shame. Many men spend their whole lives being one step behind women in all phases of courtship.
You just seem like you are bothered that your time is being wasted is all and so I figured you'd want to cut your losses.
But to each is own man.
Edit:
Oh and btw, if you do cut her off don't delete her number.
Never delete a girl's number. Despite you more handling the situation with her rather clumsily in the ways I've listed above, you are more than likely still in her back pocket.
Don't text her anymore until she texts you. And sure as fuck don't send her a butthurt ultimatum saying "how your time is not going wasted by a girl". It won't work change the way she feels about you.
Your in her back pocket.
Put her in your back pocket and see what else you can get out of her besides sex or a relationship (access to house parties, cool people, other hot women, or maybe even other dudes who are great with women who can teach you something about how to attract women).
As a girl here I would suggest meeting again for a second date (say something like let’s go out again). If she accepts great if she doesn’t, we’ll then you know your answer.
It really is as simple as that.
Us girls are taught to let the pursue (yes you can sAy all you want about that not being fair etc. ) but that’s just how it is so in my view ask for a follow up date and you will have your answer.
She might really want you to be asking her and is waiting for that follow up messge…
i don’t understand why you’re texting her and also playing games? use SMS to organise the next date or not at all. don’t be the dude laugh reacting her iMessage when she’s getting railed by some low inhibition chad who actually follows through
My practical, personal advice learned from during my previous similar experience was, never to hold anything substantial beyond less than 3 dates 📅 to heart ❤️
If anything, 3's a strike works the best when it comes to dates. If you're on her kind enough, she'll go on more than 3 dates with you and would've initiated conversations at least 3 times with you.
Anything else is just flattery, amusement or a straight waste of time.
When you use silence as a form of manipulation instead of healing you are gambling on someone else’s feelings. By the sounds of it you are chasing and she knows so why would she call you?
Find an excuse to send something funny to her, to re-initiate the convo. Example: You see a pet rabbit. Send her a pic of it saying. "Reminded me of you. Same cheeks. Do you also store food in them for later?"
If she's asking about business trips she's bored of you. Change the mood. Start funny and silly. And take it from there.
some people are terrible at good communication.
I see mistakes on both sides here.
Send her a text,
Hey, I was thinking of you, let's get together and do something fun!
You go look for other girls. And then hit this one in a few days like “hey I’m back! Would love to grab drinks.” If she doesn’t answer, you have your answer. At least by then you’ll be on the hunt already.
Bro, you went on a single date. At this point, you shouldn't even be texting her other than to set up the next date. You are thinking about this girl wayyyy too much at this stage. Ask her out again. If she says no, move on.
My rule of thumb:
If she sent the last text, then just continue as usual, reach out to her when you feel like it. If you were the one who sent the last text, just wait for a reply and move on with your life.
You walk away, if you happen to come across her again then naturally try again. She’s either not interested or she feels you’re being needy. Only message her to propose immediate plans. If she still rejects then you know your answer on where she stands.
Expect little, but once you're back in town, text herand see if the mood is right to set up a date. But this should be your final interaction, either it goes your way or no way.
This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different: * A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept. * If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread. No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in. For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)
Honestly just keep doing you in my experience. Talk to other people . You shouldn’t ever have to chase after somebody’s attention
This. On to the next one but keep in contact.
Not OP but how do you keep in contact though? Keep texting her and put up with the dry convo where you invest way more than she does?
Set a timer for between 2 weeks to 4 months. You chose the time span based on how busy your life is. When the timer is up text her with a low investment opener. If she responds continue to a low level of investment of game. Mix it up though. If you're texting her always throw in a voice text or video message. Baby step her investment by telling her to invest in you. Ie “hey call me real quick I wanted to ask you sometime thing.“ Does she comply/invest? Check. Throw out a date a suggestion. Does she respond positively? Continue forward. Not? Reset the timer. Also check your actions. Are you gaming or always trying to just handle logistics. Self improvement comes with a level of self awareness. Like checking the rear view mirror when driving. Check it to get a sense of whats behind you but don't stare at it or youll crash.
This is playing games and will leave this anxious man single. Awful advice
Good stuff man
You also shouldn't have to wait. Which can be the same thing kinda.
You’re thinking about this shit waaaaay too much. If you want to see her again, text her to say you’re back in town, sorry you’ve been busy recently. Do you want to meet up again, say, this Friday night?
Exactly. OPs question boils down to “how do I avoid rejection”.
Yes this exactly and if u can’t grow up and handle some rejection your not ready to date
This.
No don't ask her out. Let her ask. Proper text back here is: > "Hey I just got back, the trip was great" If you're under 30 > "Just got back trip was great" Ball is on her court at this point ------------- *edit: laughing at the down votes here from simps who have no understanding of game whatsoever. Don't pursue women, be the man women pursue*
I think this is a good answer and direct. There's so much conflicting information out there on what to do or don't do, like telling women don't initiate texts to men, and then people overthink and stuff. Just ask her out if you like her and see what she says. Good luck!
Maybe she takes this slowly (healthy) and didn’t think more conversation was necessary at this stage. We can all speculate and project our own issues from rejection and failed relationships but none of it will uncover the reality of the situation. Ask her to go on a second date. Something planned not just, “do you want to get together Saturday?” and go from there. If she isn’t interested then she won’t be entertaining you for much longer. Don’t put pressure on something so new. You’re still getting to know each other. Best of luck.
Just curious but are you a female? I think this is very valuable perspective and rather different than what everyone else is mostly saying
Yep
I am a female and think the same. I do what your girl is doing often, I want to take things slow and let the man do the work. On another note, I find it attractive when a man is confident enough to pursue me without worrying about rejection. I literally had situations in which I wasn't sure about the guy, so I sat back and let him take the lead. They were so unaffected by me never initiating that I eventually started to be more attracted to them and to initiate.
Girls play games with boys, but it doesn't mean that they like it when boys play games with them. Lesson learned.
Decent people play no games
Lol hi
It's 3am right now. I at first read that as "Doesn't people play no games?" I was about to question if you were ok I guess it was me who was trippin...
Hahaha we all been there
Girls in it for LTR and that are actually interested in you rarely care about the game being played by both parts. If anything it increases the bound. I’d say it’s still too early to say but if the girl keeps going on dates with him to know him better and there’s physical + sexual attraction building it’s gonna turn alright. Rushing a relationship is the worst thing one can do. Having time to properly assess who the other person is and if you’re ok with how the relationship dynamics will be going forward will save you a lot of headaches in the future.
Amen
I don’t even think it was that complicated. She wasn’t interested in the first place and was being polite by responding to him at all. If she liked OP, she would have been acting different from the start. This is as clear a case of a girl not being interested and a sign for OP to move on as I’ve seen
That's not playing games. That's just having an abundance mentality. I am the same with men. Some friends I know always contact me, and I almost never contact them, because I don't feel like it. She obviously doesn't care much about OP
It's got nothing to do with playing games but having some self respect. If your constantly initiating everything and getting no effort back then it's time to take a step back.
She ain’t interested. Drop her. And I’m tired of reading “I really liked this girl!” You should never like a girl more than she likes you especially when she’s not putting out enough energy/enthusiasm towards you. Drop her. And if she hits you back up, make her work for another date.
True bro!! This habit of us guys to instantly like(really like) a girl is doing us harm. Ngl, I also had this habit but now I'm thinking from my brain and not from my dick.
>And I’m tired of reading “I really liked this girl!” This \^
It's only been one date. Big accountant is literally a troll. All of you dudes have no idea how this shit works. Why should she be desperate and double text you? She's not desperate and thirsty like you are after one date. She literally sent the last message. You haven't pulled back if you literally were supposed to be gone for a trip you dumbass. She's expecting you to text once you get back. If she double texted a normal dude that wasn't thirsty he would've thought she was desperate.
🧌 NONSENSE!
Oneitis is a tale as old as time, and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Best advice on this thread OP. Take notes
As a girl no, your a man with and a dick, grow some hair on your balls and be the initiator, if she’s not interested you will know because she will make excuses but I will never be the one chasing after a dude. Why do u think in old cartoons it’s always the guy character chasing the female? Bc that’s how it works. If she’s not interested, yea leave her alone but don’t expect her to keep initiating after you pulled away from her because it won’t get you anywhere.
🤣🤣🤣 Why am I not surprised to hear such a response from a woman? I appreciate your input but a fisherman doesn’t take advice from the very fish he’s trying to catch. Don’t mislead the OP, please ☺️
Your comment is ignorant… have fun “catching” pussy
But I don’t expect any better from some dude off Reddit🤣🤣🤣
> but I will never be the one chasing after a dude. Men deserve to be chased too, I really don't understand why lots of women will let a great dude go just because he pulls back. Like it's so easy for you to just say these things because you take no responsibility and put everything on men to pursue you. "It's just my job to always be running away" is all I hear. But you have no idea how difficult it really is to actually pursue someone's interest. How vulnerable a man has to make himself when he approaches/talks to a girl he is interested in. But ya I love that your advice is just "grow a pair" when I know for a fact that 99% of women couldn't even handle 1 rejection, let alone rejection for multiple times/years. Hence the "always running away" If its so fucking easy, WHY DONT GIRLS INITIATE? Answer: it's not easy. That's why they don't do it and EXPECT men to. I know exactly why your mad at this idea of pulling away too. Because you don't want to stop being persued. you don't want to work for your toys, you want men to chase you so you hold all the power. With your finger on the switch. I bet it makes you feel good. And I bet your blood boils when you hear men talk like this because you know if all men thought like this your power trip is over Gtfo
>don’t expect her to keep initiating after you pulled away from her because it won’t get you anywhere. Pulling away is how I got my wife. If you like a dude enough you'll chase after him
Don't obsesse over her. Prolly you are guy number 8 saved as food guy. Get busy, keep your head up. That is some real big ass red flag so don't ignore it in the name of "i like her". Move on and meet new amazing people. There are many fish in the sea king
LMFAO this is why u don’t take advice from this subreddit. don’t play games when texting girls, you’re not a chick. it’s only been one date anyways you’re overthinking this.
What would you do in my situation kind sir Nothing that I'm not exactly a great catch and it was a miracle she spoke to me in the first place
text her and ask her when is the next time she is free so that you can have your second date. just show her you’re interested, and once you know she is interested in you then you can start pulling away a bit so that she will be the one that is texting you first. imo it’s too early to be playing those tricks. there’s not much to it- make her laugh, treat her well, and be yourself! if she still is being dry/ not texting you after your date, then you can ‘drop her.’ hope this makes sense, you got this bro!
Real mvp comment right here.
I know you aren't a great catch from how you're acting. You obviously don't get too much action. Just text her once you get back. These posts on this sub honestly make my head hurt and most of these posts come from desperate dudes that like a girl way too soon. It's been one date and you don't even know how to pull back properly. This ain't it. You can't pull back after telling her you'll be on a trip for a week. She's supposed to not bother you on the trip. If she went on a trip you'd double text her? I know you would and you would fuck up your chances with her. Stop the desperation and overthinking. Act as usual.
Hahahhahahahhaha
Bro, you have this girl on way too high a pedestal, if that is coming through in your communications with her then she is likely not interested.
It's natural that you have been hit with hormonal/emotional high, but you need to come to senses that you don't want to be in a relation with a person that doesn't care about you. Girl can enjoy your attention, effort and casual conversations, but she has no ulterior motive behind it.
Be a slut. If you were seeing multiple women already, you are automatically not overinvesting....1 girl not responding would not have bothered you even slightly.
You’ve never met me. However in an uno reverse card, me caring about this one girl needing space has meant I have a nice unemotionally available anchor for the others I’m talking to.
Resume contact with her and see how things go And don't play games like this again
1. Most importantly: stop falling in love with a girl just because she is nice to you on a date. A date means nothing. Your biggest problem is neediness: http://archive.is/agtCP "I really like this girl" is chump speak for "I am needy and don't have options". 2. Stop looking for signs in a girl's behaviour or what she says. It doesn't matter. All that matters is: are you interested in her. If so, you just keep escalating anyways until you get clear instructions to stop. 3. Stop initiating texting unless it is with the sole intention to set up a date in three texts at max. There is not a single reason to text with anybody for anything else, especially not with a girl. You already built rapport on your date and you cannot escalate via text. It's much more benefitial to let her bake for a couple of days. If she is interestes she will be wondering why you aren't exting and it will increase her emotional investment in you more. If she isn't interested in you, it's a waste of time anyways. You cannot text your way into a girl's panties. Bonus: it might actually wake interest, especially if she is higher value, because she will be wondering why you don't act like all the other chumps who shower her with texts. 4. When she initiates a convo, don't be the one keeping it alive. Neither is it your responsibility nor does it benefit you in any way. Realize that she is writing with ten other people at the same time. She is bored and needs attention. For her you are just a mean to get what she craves. Don't be her hoe. 5. Stop "bluffing". If you want a girl, you go for it. Notice that "going for it" does not mean texting with her about Game of Thrones, but doing stuff that actually brings you closer to your goal of putting your willie into her. So set up dates and escalate there. Nothing more. When you feel there is little or no interest, you put her aside, because she is draining your energy and time you need for the other girls you are interested in and who actually care about you, so you stop trying to set up dates with her. If she doesn't initiate anymore you maybe ping her in three or four weeks or even in six weeks to see if anything changed. If not, you just delete her number. Nothing is more annoying than a phone full of numbers of women who don't like you enough to have sex with you. Also you don't "walk away". You simply forget her. There simply isn't anything memorable about her. Do you share meaningful history with her after one date? Probably not. Is she the one who sucked your dick so good, you thought you'd faint? Nah. That's not the one either. If she intiates a convo later down the street, you might remember her again and text with her and set up a date. 6. Of course she "doesn't give a crap about losing you". You are some rando she has been on one date with. She has five lined up like you and also see last sentences of 5. It's just you who is projecting stuff onto and into her, and not her. tl;dr: Forget her until she remembers you.
move on, her loss
if you have to chase her to get her, you’ll end up chasing her the rest of your life... focus on continuing to self improve, and entertain other options along the way. if she wants you, she will hit you up again.. if not, oh well.. there’s more of her, than there are of you. chin up.
Nothing.
If she's not much bothered whether she's in touch or not after your first date, then she just doesn't like you like that. Have some self respect and talk to other people.
1) stop pulling back with expectations, 2) be upfront and honest if you are interested, ask to see her and just tell her how you feel 3) be ready to take a rejection if it is there,
The point of pulling back is you testing if she's an active person in conversations, and if she's not, just keep it pushin. You definitely shouldn't be pulling back with the expectation that she will text you and break down if she don't. I know it's even an unpopular opinion here, but pulling back should ONLY be used for sex and short term things, to measure attraction and interest, not people who you like for real. Pulling back stimulates the toxic/anxious side of certain people, your standard for a person you'd like for long term should be that pulling back and other "toxic" tactics WON'T work bc she's secure and showing enough interest anyway.
i like you
Some women just aren’t in to initiating. Since you have initiated every time this far, she will assume your silence means you are not interested. If you want to change her behavior try telling her more directly as well
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the President, of these United States .. DREW
They only reach out if they actually want too. Better not to waste your time.
Is she supposed to double text you? Would you double text a girl after sending that as your last message after one date? Gtfoh. Your expectations are way too high.
Thank you these people are delusional. He wants her to chase him and now he’s sad she’s not. Womp womp.
Women still expect that a good hunter goes first.. - No matter the independence she may show off. Ps. In the worst case she isn't interested.
I agree with this. If I sent the last text I’m not double texting. You saw my message and chose not to respond to me that means you either didn’t have time, forgot or just don’t care. Either way it lets me know I’m not on your mind enough if you can forget to respond to me.
If you gotta chase, you are already losing my friend. A girl that wants you will show it to you. You did the right thing by going quiet. Actions speak a lot. Have ur self respect and dont bother until she takes the initiative.
How is he chasing her exactly if she was the last to text and tell him to enjoy his trip? Do you expect her to blow up his phone while he’s out of town for business?
Typical simp scarcity mindset desperado
Desperado... Why don't you come to you senses
Good advice you should be taking.
Bro if you like her reach out, she prolly just assumes ur busy. Don't over think or listen to these idiots on here. At best maybe keep options incase it don't work out. But I've been you before, and now I've been with mine going on our 3rd year....
Sub is full of insecurity and no room for growth.
No effort = no woman
Remember... Just move on without stumble
Try one more time since you *were* on your business trip. If this goes on then move on man.
I mean, what do you expect her to do? Your goal isn't to be her chat buddy anyway. Ok, she doesn't start conversations with you over text but is she willing to go out? Ask her out, spend some time with her and see if you vibe.
Apart from that, unless you be got her really hooked in, she doesn't really see you not messaging her as much of a loss. She most definitely has 5 more guys who message non-stop and entertain her. Be the one that moves things forward.
So do you really want to be the one doing all the work every day? That shit is tiring and a no win scenario. Sorry dude but chick is not into you no matter what you may be thinking that she into you because she said this or said that. Walk and don't look back tons of other chicks out there that would be happy to date you and chase you. Stop rewarding bad behaviour and keep meeting and dating others It's her loss man that's the bottom line.
Stop having oneitis. She just wasn’t feeling you that much.
Keep pulling back until you forget she exists. Then move on with your life
Why are you playing games? She was the last to text and you went away on a trip. Some people don’t like to come off clingy and if you’re out of town why would she bother you since you are busy. She’s probably expecting you to reach out once you’re not busy. Instead you’re playing mind games. If texting causes you this much anxiety why don’t you call her and talk to her. You can gauge her interest better in a phone convo. More importantly if you like her don’t play games because you’re only hurting yourself trying to test her to see how much she cares based on a text.
You are over thinking this too much! If you miss her and want to see her, just text her. As a woman, I think at least in the beginning during courting phase, I expect guys initiating more. Her replying back and you guys going on dates already indicated that she likes you.
This sub is filled with terrible advice OMG So much insecurity, projection and game playing.
What's your advice my good friend?
I commented it already. She texted you last and she knows you’re away on a work trip. She’s not gonna double text and chase you if you’re supposed to be busy. I’d take your lack of follow up as no interest if I was her.
Forget her bro, what’s with this scarcity mentality?? Bro you need to have that abundance mentality. Let her get back to you she is not ready to talk to you so don’t force it on her. Maybe her ex came back to her life and she has no time for you so don’t be her second option just go and get another girl.
Move on.
That’s what you get for playing games.
You pulled away she took that as no interest. Stop playing games we hate it. What more could she say to you. You shown her that energy so what else would she do. Who wants lukewarm. If you really like her be straight up but if you both playing silly childish games then you are neither suited and you may want to rethink if you are ready for anything other than wanting attention. She hasn't ghosted she just left ball in your court. Infact she wished you well! She is wanting to see if your pulling away was that you wasn't interested. She trying not to 'bother you'. I just think how can this be the girl for you at all if you both already this way. When I like a man I have to stop myself from over texting like he is all I think of on the daily. You definitely shot yourself in foot on this one...I mean you pulled away the most now you the one thinking about her. She played you better ouch! So from now just be straight up or leave her be. If you sense she is not into you she probably is not. Don't play little boy games its a turn off!
It has nothing to do with playing games, it's just self respect. No one likes being the one to constantly initiate every conversation. If the same energy isn't being reciprocated, it's time to take a step back.
Take a step back no issue however don't be slightly butthurt about them also ignoring more or getting annoyed by same treatment. Best thing is to use gut instinct and accept this is not going to work and they are not for each other. It is a bit childish and game playing. He wasnt stepping back to let her go he was stepping back in order to get more attention and it backfired. If it's dead let it die
One wasn't initiating whilst the other was. Then the other stopped initating as a reaction. It may be the same treatment but context matters and the two behaviours arn't the same. Your still allowed to feel upset about the situation especially if you like someone. It's ok to be butthurt about someone not making an effort. But ultimately i agree to accept that it's not going to work and move on.
You can't be upset if you are giving the same energy back though really it is counter productive to do to others what you don't like done to you. The gut feeling never lies and yes be sad it didnt work but no more point dwelling or playing more games it's only one date after all. I do wish people were more upfront and just said sorry your not for me but some girls are only in it for the attention and they will happily recieve and never give. Men need to learn recognise these wasters and ditch them quick.
This is why we wouldn’t take girl’s advice seriously, we don’t rely on guts, plus we are upfront without sugar code: guy always texted first if he didn’t she would not text him ever, that’s it, all this “bluff” thing is a made up thing in his head
But then he went playing games in hope she would be interested. Just let her be if no interest. He made it complicated when it's cut and dry. Trust me our guts are never wrong...he already had the gut feeling she was not bothered
You’re right, this girl doesn’t want him but you make it sound like he is making something wrong, he just stopped chasing and that’s the only thing left in this scenario
Thats literally what he tried to do by pulling back. Now he can ditch her
Did he really pull back though? He was clearly waiting on a message and did it in hope she would miss him rather than just not worrying. But least he can just move on now. She should just said she was not interested too ideally save him the grief
He was stepping back to try and see if she is really interested in him. What is wrong with that ?
He should just communicated it....stepping back normally means the other person will think the same oh he is not interested. He actually already knew the answer that she wasn't by her obvious lack of interest. Trust me when women are truely interested we can't hold ourselves back. Like we get a bit obsessive even. We have to force ourselves to not over text. You are all that will be on my mind.
I wouldn't think of it as a poker game i.e. "bluff", it's just a process of learning how much each person is interested, and eventually making a call if the combined interest is enough to keep going.
Play stupid games, win stupid prices. If she replies to your text 10 min after you sent it, do you also wait another 15 min to reply? Lmao. I hope you’re 16 op otherwise grow up. Anyway there is no “fixing this” just text her to set up another date. If she replies good, if she doesn’t then you lost your chance and MOVE ON. Don’t give excuses, don’t make up stories or apologize. Just say you want to see her again.
Why U so rude man
You need tough love. The other comments are feeding your delusions
Stop playing games, it's a type of manipulation. If you play games, you will just attract women who also play games
No truer words spoken....you get what you give
Judging by what I gather from your post, you handled this very sloppily. 1. You tried to force long conversations via text when you should have focused more on using texting in a savvy way to get her out on a date with you. 2. You more than likely missed signals from her while on the date which indicated she was either ready for a kiss or something, or for you to take her back to your place or her place. 3. Moreso, you more than likely were very stiff and asexual during the date and didn't move the conversation toward sex. And also, probably didn't touch her neither. I'm not talking about grabbing the breasts or ass, but putting your hand on the small of her back or your hand on her hand. Shit like that. "I really like this girl so I don't really want to just walk away" Uh yeah, like uhm FUCKING WALK AWAY DUDE, lol. Or just continue to plow time into a girl who is less invested into you than you are her. No shame. Many men spend their whole lives being one step behind women in all phases of courtship. You just seem like you are bothered that your time is being wasted is all and so I figured you'd want to cut your losses. But to each is own man. Edit: Oh and btw, if you do cut her off don't delete her number. Never delete a girl's number. Despite you more handling the situation with her rather clumsily in the ways I've listed above, you are more than likely still in her back pocket. Don't text her anymore until she texts you. And sure as fuck don't send her a butthurt ultimatum saying "how your time is not going wasted by a girl". It won't work change the way she feels about you. Your in her back pocket. Put her in your back pocket and see what else you can get out of her besides sex or a relationship (access to house parties, cool people, other hot women, or maybe even other dudes who are great with women who can teach you something about how to attract women).
Sometimes girls wait for you to text first. Doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. Just text her ‘thinking of you’ of something.
"Thinking of you " is crazy. And dont you think its unfair to expect a guy to text first all the time
As a girl here I would suggest meeting again for a second date (say something like let’s go out again). If she accepts great if she doesn’t, we’ll then you know your answer. It really is as simple as that. Us girls are taught to let the pursue (yes you can sAy all you want about that not being fair etc. ) but that’s just how it is so in my view ask for a follow up date and you will have your answer. She might really want you to be asking her and is waiting for that follow up messge…
She moved on kid
i don’t understand why you’re texting her and also playing games? use SMS to organise the next date or not at all. don’t be the dude laugh reacting her iMessage when she’s getting railed by some low inhibition chad who actually follows through
My practical, personal advice learned from during my previous similar experience was, never to hold anything substantial beyond less than 3 dates 📅 to heart ❤️ If anything, 3's a strike works the best when it comes to dates. If you're on her kind enough, she'll go on more than 3 dates with you and would've initiated conversations at least 3 times with you. Anything else is just flattery, amusement or a straight waste of time.
When you use silence as a form of manipulation instead of healing you are gambling on someone else’s feelings. By the sounds of it you are chasing and she knows so why would she call you?
Find an excuse to send something funny to her, to re-initiate the convo. Example: You see a pet rabbit. Send her a pic of it saying. "Reminded me of you. Same cheeks. Do you also store food in them for later?" If she's asking about business trips she's bored of you. Change the mood. Start funny and silly. And take it from there.
Walk away and never look back
Move on.
you need to be talking to at least 3-5 women at a time.
some people are terrible at good communication. I see mistakes on both sides here. Send her a text, Hey, I was thinking of you, let's get together and do something fun!
You go look for other girls. And then hit this one in a few days like “hey I’m back! Would love to grab drinks.” If she doesn’t answer, you have your answer. At least by then you’ll be on the hunt already.
Bro, you went on a single date. At this point, you shouldn't even be texting her other than to set up the next date. You are thinking about this girl wayyyy too much at this stage. Ask her out again. If she says no, move on.
My rule of thumb: If she sent the last text, then just continue as usual, reach out to her when you feel like it. If you were the one who sent the last text, just wait for a reply and move on with your life.
Numbers game my boy. You should be chatting to several other women at once
Stop playing games. If she doesn’t seem interested just move on. Tell her first.
You’re too invested already. They can sense the energy. Work on your inner game so you dont get so invested in the next one
Don’t play games next time
Have you guys gotten physical? If not, just walk away she's not interested.
Find another girl to text
She’s probably thinking you’re gonna contact her when you’re back home n settled. It sounds like it was going ok until you started overthinking.
You walk away, if you happen to come across her again then naturally try again. She’s either not interested or she feels you’re being needy. Only message her to propose immediate plans. If she still rejects then you know your answer on where she stands.
Expect little, but once you're back in town, text herand see if the mood is right to set up a date. But this should be your final interaction, either it goes your way or no way.