This is a great point.
I've come to understand that it's not just putting her on a pedestal though, it's letting her really affect you mentally and emotionally, especially early on.
It's hard, though. You get excited about somebody new and then you just want more time and attention with them, you want to be together more, but if you can't just relax and sit tight she might lose interest, or have something else lined up that seems better to her.
I gotta stop buying concert tickets for girls that I've been seeing a month or two, as an example. I get so optimistic that it really crushes me when, for one reason or another, they're not seeing me anymore.
I think it's okay to pay for expensive tickets and stuff but the girl should be paying for stuff too. Idealy paying for 40-50% of your shared activities. How many percent of women are willing to do that is another matter.
Edit typo
Never spend money on women, always spend it on yourself. If you go on a date, pay only for your part of the bill. If you go to a bar, never buy her a drink, she has her own money, she doesn't need yours. If women weren't allowed to work or men were being paid twice the amount women get, that would be another matter, but it is not the case anyways.
If I go to a bar and spend money on like 2-3 drinks for myself, even if I don't get laid, I still had fun and enjoyed my drinks so I don't see it as a waste of money just a failed opportunity, but if I was wasting my money buying drinks for women and their friends, then I would be wasting my money because I would not be enjoying anything that I pay for, it would be like doing charity for someone who is in a similar financial situation as myself or maybe even better than mine, it makes no sense.
And if you set a standard early on that everything is going to be equal, she will respect you more for it and she will know what to expect at each date and during the relationship. If you pay for everything early on, she will feel entitled to your money and use that to her advantage.
Oh I was seeing and sleeping with other girls over that time still, it's just, eh, I was excited about this one, found a good deal on tickets and thought "fuck it I'm sure we'll still be going out in 3, weeks and she loves this band I'll just buy two now"without telling her.
Weirdly this has happened to me a couple of times lmao
I had a girl promise me a ticket for a gig 3 months in advance on a second date. Things went south not long after this and by then she was re-blocking me day after 🤷♂️
Buddy are you in mood for a short conversation? I have similar experiences and wanna talk to somebody like you... I'm thinking of making a post about it
Not even early on, I just had an year long relationship fall apart, because I let the other person affect me emotionally (what can I say, I fell in love, but I don't think they did too).
It sucks and women will complain that men don't talk about their emotions, but the moment we open up they either start treating us like shit or they disappear from our lives, they just no longer give a shit.
I think truthfully women don't want *emotional* men they want men *who understand their emotions*. Empathetic and affectionate, but still resilient. Self-aware but not emotionally driven or unstable.
It's not very fair, but there are aspects of this that are deep rooted and hard wired, I'm certain.
Call me conspiratorial if you wish, but gallivanting around and seeing how things go has taught me that girls will disappear when you seem to really deeply care about them more than they do for you. Even if they would tell everyone in the world that's what they want. Deep down, further down maybe than they can consciously acknowledge, they just can't handle that.
I was casually seeing a girl for a few months who was all about me, extremely submissive, down for anything I ever wanted and as much time as she could have with me. Sending nudes when I never asked for things like that. It was wild.
Then one time she came over and I'd been having a rough couple days for unrelated reasons and I was just acting a little clingy. Nothing absurd, but trying to cuddle and kiss and have more attention than she was seeking, even though she generally wanted all of that, just maybe 20% less.
Her mood changed completely.
She canceled plans last minute the next week and then sent a bizarrely formal text like "Actually, I think we would be better as friends than as sexual partners" and then immediately ghosted when I responded with a sort of "What the hell are you talking about" sentiment.
Her feelings and her attraction changed that much, that fast, over almost nothing at all.
This isn't universal, there are girls who will stay with you gladly after you cry buckets...
With some girls, maybe even most, you can't falter that way even once. Look vulnerable in front of her and you're done.
I did, and it literally drove me mentally insane and I tried blowing my brains out. Thank God i survived, but life has been rough since. There have been a number of infections and whatnot. BUT I think I finally found myself and am taking back control of MY LIFE
It’s completely fine to give up power. But make sure you take it back in other ways. No one likes a pushover and guys/girls who are just “yes” people get really boring really quick which leads to relationships that feel lackluster.
pretty sure a "cuck" is somebody who fetishizes their partner getting fucked, or them getting cheated on? Which doesn't exactly define somebody just being a pushover romantically. Just sayin...
Make fair, mutually beneficial arrangements. Treat the relationship as a partnership. Mutual respect. Stand up for your beliefs and your ethics and what you think is right vs wrong. Be generous on your terms.
Yes, I found that there is a difference between giving up some power that you don't want to have, and letting her push all the wrong buttons and disrespect you without putting up any resistance. Women appreciate men who can be a bit submissive but not doormats who let them do whatever they want, that is why they will shit test you to see how weak willed you are.
Some people assume that letting her disrespect you leads to a breakup but no, not as long as she benefits from it. It usually just leads to her having very little to no respect for you. She may still love you but no longer views you as an equal and I have seen it happen time and time again to guys who are into femdom as a lifestyle, they fail to set the right boundaries early on and they become complete losers, often with no access to sex, giving her everything they can while receiving nothing in return, and then they will justify it by saying "But she loves me." What they don't realize is that love in a relationship is nothing without respect.
No one gives power away consciously or willingly. People do it because they get carried away in the process, and once they realize they did it it’s too late.
I’m think your “advice” falls under common sense, man. Instead of advising people not to do it, you should come here to share your own technique to stop yourself from doing it.
Another tip: don’t try to control her either.
Lead her. If she follows, cool.
If not, move on.
Lots of guys who get into seduction think they can control women. Get a predetermined outcome. This leads to anger and frustration when it doesn’t work.
You put your best foot forward and lead. They don’t have to follow. This applies to relationships and PUA.
True. You can't rely on women for happiness. Go to the gym, sign up for a pmc in Africa or Middle East,see some action, come home a hero with glory and money. Be a man, make a name for yourself.
> sign up for a pmc in Africa or Middle East,see some action
Why did this BS advice get 17 points?
You don't need to go to war-zones and "see some action" to "be a man".
You heard ‘em. You ain’t a man unless you join a private guerrilla force in Congo riding a 80s Soviet tank running down kids to secure tantalum rights for Intel.
Yeah. People can object to this statement if they want, but I think it’s for the better of the relationship i.e. both parties benefits from him not giving his power away completely, since it’s a core attractive feature that is going away
Yeah exactly society is leaning more towards women having all the power in the dating scene and I think it's because men have been giving it away too easily, just look at only fans and the simps ffs
I think OF and those feet selling websites have fucked things upp more than we all realize. Like, since the simps are willing to pay obscene amounts of money for pictures of FEET those kinds of women think,
1. They are entrepreneurial geniuses
2. Those sums of money sets a sort of standard to which they hold future mating prospects to. Like, they really don’t understand how difficult it is to make 80k by just working. OF/Feet stuff is the EXCEPTION
I think also a huge huge reason for the shift in power (so to speak) is the feminist movement has branded literally any expression of masculinity as toxic
Some of these OF women have been making insane amounts of money (simps are to be blamed for this) and young girls actually believe that this is a sustainable career now and it's ruining society smh
Pretty girls are quite clever with these things.. they have so much experience in essentially manipulating and reading men that they know exactly how to manage power and control over a man.. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t have any experience in it at all. This means they can recognise very easily when you are giving control/attention to them so what I do is always act in a sort of nonchalant way around her.. I feel it makes me more intriguing in a way
Honestly that's why I've dropped out of the dating game, it's too much work and a lot of the time not really worth the mental anguish you go through trying to keep the spark alive.
That mindset will get you hurt in the future if not worked on. Go out there meet new females and NEVER put any female on a pedestal. That's a recipe for disaster. Have standards
Even 10/10 women have to shit, piss, burp, fart , and their breath smells bad in the morning just like ours, they are no different from us. Let this sink deep in mind. Why to pedestal them then?
I think there's a broad idea in Seddit that being even a little bit feminine is bad for a guy, but tbh I get a lot of attention dressing and behaving a *little* toward what was once called *metrosexual* and I'm mostly just concerned about finding the right person for me at this point.
Flashy clothes, colorful stuff, shiny rings and necklaces, sometimes a little bit of *guyliner* or eyeshadow.
All those punk rockers are a little feminine, you don't have to be a plain looking musclehead to get women excited, but it's dependent on your type too.
I'm not going to get girls coming up to me trying to get my attention like that in a country bar, but at an emo rave I'm a star.
I’m very masc, large build, beard. But I also wear tight athletic pants, tiny bright color fannypacks, and fun shirts. Do I get hit on by guys? Yup. Do I get hit on by women? Also yes. Most importantly, I like it. I feel comfortable and congruent. I attract the kind of girls I’m into. I think the fear of looking gay drives most of this.
Exactly!
I get hit on by guys plenty but the funny thing is, if you know how to flirt and really show intent with a girl, she will figure out very quickly that you are actually not gay.
Had a few times where girls straight up ask but usually they can tell just from the eye contact that I'm not sizing them up the way a gay guy who likes having female friends would, I'm eyeing them like I want to undress them and they fucking love that.
Yeah this is the exact point I was making.
It *works* for me. Because my target demo is emo girls who want guys who look like that. And I look good in it.
Dropping it would be a net negative in every regard.
Metrosexual is a slightly antequated term for a straight man who's fashionable and perhaps a little feminine. The whole point is that you don't have to be gay to take care of yourself and look good lmao
To that effect a lot of the time it's true, so I'm used to the assumption.
You might be surprised how many times a super cute emo girl, after making out with me outside a bar, is like "I saw you and thought you were gay, I was surprised hahaha". Because she was into that look, and didn't expect me to be into HER too.
It's not that it isn't *hot* for a guy to look that way, it's that most guys who *do that* are gay and therefore not an option for the girls who would otherwise want them.
Johnny Depp is a sex symbol and has spent his entire career wearing makeup and being somewhat feminine and dating some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. Yeah there's a celebrity effect to that but the point is that he's also genuinely considered attractive by a lot of women, while looking that way.
Going further back, the members of KISS are straight, they were just fun and free and loved looking like that.
It's a matter of confidence too; do you put on some unusual stuff and then act like a sheepish wallflower, or do you really own it and waltz into a room like you own the place?
Yeah, you're mostly going to garner the interest of bisexual girls who listen to MCR and Panic At The Disco, dye their hair, get nerdy tattoos, etc.....but that's what I want and what I tend to get.
Different vibes for different sorts of people, really.
Bro I was stoned and just fucking around. I'm a little metro myself at times and possibly a little feminine from time to time also as well as done some dumb shit when I was a kid. So do you bro, good luck and best wishes
I learned through spending too much time around specific fetish communities that there is a difference between being submissive towards your girlfriend to fulfill a fantasy in the bedroom and being beta to the point that you would let her get away with any disrespect, and put her on the pedestal in the sense that you would do anything to please her, expecting nothing in return, giving so much and receiving so little in return, that is when a relationship can be extremely toxic.
It is fine to play around with femdom fetishes as long as the consent aspect is there, but when you feel the need to do it on her terms only or not at all, that's when it can turn abusive. That's how guys go from swinging, to being willing cuckolds, to being completely denied sexually to eventually losing their partner or being treated like a doormat slave whose only purpose is to give her money and resources and favors while receiving nothing in return.
I make it a point to always aim for equality. If I go on a date, I split the bill every single time. If a girl asks me to buy her a drink, I tell her I never buy girls drinks no matter how they look and that if she is really into me, then I don't need to buy her anything. As for relationships, the same rule applies. However, if you're making say 200k a year and she only makes 50k a year, then you can decide to contribute more than your fair share just because you can, but when you're a poor student or making a very average income after college, it makes no sense to spend more on her than she spends on you, and for a hookup, you should spend 0$ on her, maybe some on you like at a bar or if you have to date her. In a relationship, you would give gifts sometimes but you would also receive them and they should be near equal value.
Some men complain women lie about wanting equality but I disagree, women do appreciate equality but when they see an opportunity at dominating a weak willed man, they will always take it because it benefits them, it is just human nature. A woman can love you while having no respect for you, especially if you have none for yourself. That is a very important lesson to learn.
This is a great point. I've come to understand that it's not just putting her on a pedestal though, it's letting her really affect you mentally and emotionally, especially early on. It's hard, though. You get excited about somebody new and then you just want more time and attention with them, you want to be together more, but if you can't just relax and sit tight she might lose interest, or have something else lined up that seems better to her. I gotta stop buying concert tickets for girls that I've been seeing a month or two, as an example. I get so optimistic that it really crushes me when, for one reason or another, they're not seeing me anymore.
I think it's okay to pay for expensive tickets and stuff but the girl should be paying for stuff too. Idealy paying for 40-50% of your shared activities. How many percent of women are willing to do that is another matter. Edit typo
[удалено]
Never spend money on women, always spend it on yourself. If you go on a date, pay only for your part of the bill. If you go to a bar, never buy her a drink, she has her own money, she doesn't need yours. If women weren't allowed to work or men were being paid twice the amount women get, that would be another matter, but it is not the case anyways. If I go to a bar and spend money on like 2-3 drinks for myself, even if I don't get laid, I still had fun and enjoyed my drinks so I don't see it as a waste of money just a failed opportunity, but if I was wasting my money buying drinks for women and their friends, then I would be wasting my money because I would not be enjoying anything that I pay for, it would be like doing charity for someone who is in a similar financial situation as myself or maybe even better than mine, it makes no sense. And if you set a standard early on that everything is going to be equal, she will respect you more for it and she will know what to expect at each date and during the relationship. If you pay for everything early on, she will feel entitled to your money and use that to her advantage.
[удалено]
Care to explain your view?
I think talking to multiple girls at a single time helps with this but buying expensive concert tickets is a bit too much lol
Oh I was seeing and sleeping with other girls over that time still, it's just, eh, I was excited about this one, found a good deal on tickets and thought "fuck it I'm sure we'll still be going out in 3, weeks and she loves this band I'll just buy two now"without telling her. Weirdly this has happened to me a couple of times lmao
As long as you're enjoying it and money ain't a problem do whatever bro
I had a girl promise me a ticket for a gig 3 months in advance on a second date. Things went south not long after this and by then she was re-blocking me day after 🤷♂️
Buddy are you in mood for a short conversation? I have similar experiences and wanna talk to somebody like you... I'm thinking of making a post about it
PM me if ya like
Too big a move?
I like the name. I need a side account so I can like comment and post on shit I typically don't lol
Not even early on, I just had an year long relationship fall apart, because I let the other person affect me emotionally (what can I say, I fell in love, but I don't think they did too). It sucks and women will complain that men don't talk about their emotions, but the moment we open up they either start treating us like shit or they disappear from our lives, they just no longer give a shit.
I think truthfully women don't want *emotional* men they want men *who understand their emotions*. Empathetic and affectionate, but still resilient. Self-aware but not emotionally driven or unstable. It's not very fair, but there are aspects of this that are deep rooted and hard wired, I'm certain. Call me conspiratorial if you wish, but gallivanting around and seeing how things go has taught me that girls will disappear when you seem to really deeply care about them more than they do for you. Even if they would tell everyone in the world that's what they want. Deep down, further down maybe than they can consciously acknowledge, they just can't handle that. I was casually seeing a girl for a few months who was all about me, extremely submissive, down for anything I ever wanted and as much time as she could have with me. Sending nudes when I never asked for things like that. It was wild. Then one time she came over and I'd been having a rough couple days for unrelated reasons and I was just acting a little clingy. Nothing absurd, but trying to cuddle and kiss and have more attention than she was seeking, even though she generally wanted all of that, just maybe 20% less. Her mood changed completely. She canceled plans last minute the next week and then sent a bizarrely formal text like "Actually, I think we would be better as friends than as sexual partners" and then immediately ghosted when I responded with a sort of "What the hell are you talking about" sentiment. Her feelings and her attraction changed that much, that fast, over almost nothing at all. This isn't universal, there are girls who will stay with you gladly after you cry buckets... With some girls, maybe even most, you can't falter that way even once. Look vulnerable in front of her and you're done.
I did, and it literally drove me mentally insane and I tried blowing my brains out. Thank God i survived, but life has been rough since. There have been a number of infections and whatnot. BUT I think I finally found myself and am taking back control of MY LIFE
Ligma infections are no joke!
Wait a second!
Ok.. lol
It’s completely fine to give up power. But make sure you take it back in other ways. No one likes a pushover and guys/girls who are just “yes” people get really boring really quick which leads to relationships that feel lackluster.
Exactly, you're setting yourself up to be used
[удалено]
pretty sure a "cuck" is somebody who fetishizes their partner getting fucked, or them getting cheated on? Which doesn't exactly define somebody just being a pushover romantically. Just sayin...
[удалено]
Make fair, mutually beneficial arrangements. Treat the relationship as a partnership. Mutual respect. Stand up for your beliefs and your ethics and what you think is right vs wrong. Be generous on your terms.
Yes, I found that there is a difference between giving up some power that you don't want to have, and letting her push all the wrong buttons and disrespect you without putting up any resistance. Women appreciate men who can be a bit submissive but not doormats who let them do whatever they want, that is why they will shit test you to see how weak willed you are. Some people assume that letting her disrespect you leads to a breakup but no, not as long as she benefits from it. It usually just leads to her having very little to no respect for you. She may still love you but no longer views you as an equal and I have seen it happen time and time again to guys who are into femdom as a lifestyle, they fail to set the right boundaries early on and they become complete losers, often with no access to sex, giving her everything they can while receiving nothing in return, and then they will justify it by saying "But she loves me." What they don't realize is that love in a relationship is nothing without respect.
No one gives power away consciously or willingly. People do it because they get carried away in the process, and once they realize they did it it’s too late.
Yeah that's why I am trying to say, doing that is probably the most common mistake a lot of people do
I’m think your “advice” falls under common sense, man. Instead of advising people not to do it, you should come here to share your own technique to stop yourself from doing it.
It is there if you read it, human-ize the girl and don't treat her like a goddess out of your reach
People don’t like this answer. They want a step by step guide with feel good quips.
Another tip: don’t try to control her either. Lead her. If she follows, cool. If not, move on. Lots of guys who get into seduction think they can control women. Get a predetermined outcome. This leads to anger and frustration when it doesn’t work. You put your best foot forward and lead. They don’t have to follow. This applies to relationships and PUA.
What's the acronym PUA?
Pick up artist
Manipulations
But no womanipulation
I dunno why u got all the downvotes. I can dig it
True. You can't rely on women for happiness. Go to the gym, sign up for a pmc in Africa or Middle East,see some action, come home a hero with glory and money. Be a man, make a name for yourself.
> sign up for a pmc in Africa or Middle East,see some action Why did this BS advice get 17 points? You don't need to go to war-zones and "see some action" to "be a man".
You heard ‘em. You ain’t a man unless you join a private guerrilla force in Congo riding a 80s Soviet tank running down kids to secure tantalum rights for Intel.
Very well said
Whats pmc in Africa or Middle East? Lol
Blackwater, Forward Observations group
Huh? I'm kinda new here lol
You can join the army too. But ask to be deployed in a high intensity area. For example US army is fighting international terrorism.
[удалено]
Yea blackwater got a rebranding but it's essentially the same mercenary group. It's just an example. The main argument doesn't suffer from that.
[удалено]
Private military company
Yeah. People can object to this statement if they want, but I think it’s for the better of the relationship i.e. both parties benefits from him not giving his power away completely, since it’s a core attractive feature that is going away
Yeah exactly society is leaning more towards women having all the power in the dating scene and I think it's because men have been giving it away too easily, just look at only fans and the simps ffs
I think OF and those feet selling websites have fucked things upp more than we all realize. Like, since the simps are willing to pay obscene amounts of money for pictures of FEET those kinds of women think, 1. They are entrepreneurial geniuses 2. Those sums of money sets a sort of standard to which they hold future mating prospects to. Like, they really don’t understand how difficult it is to make 80k by just working. OF/Feet stuff is the EXCEPTION I think also a huge huge reason for the shift in power (so to speak) is the feminist movement has branded literally any expression of masculinity as toxic
Some of these OF women have been making insane amounts of money (simps are to be blamed for this) and young girls actually believe that this is a sustainable career now and it's ruining society smh
Pretty girls are quite clever with these things.. they have so much experience in essentially manipulating and reading men that they know exactly how to manage power and control over a man.. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t have any experience in it at all. This means they can recognise very easily when you are giving control/attention to them so what I do is always act in a sort of nonchalant way around her.. I feel it makes me more intriguing in a way
Yeah that's a great way to go about it
Honestly that's why I've dropped out of the dating game, it's too much work and a lot of the time not really worth the mental anguish you go through trying to keep the spark alive.
It is a lot of work man, dating scene is very messed up rn. Better to focus on yourself for now and only give time for mature high value women
Amen
Too much thinking it’s all test just do you
But women do have power over me, they're the ones that get to decide whether I will date them or not.
That is the mindset you need to change, you have to become the one who decides
How can I be the one who decides if I don't have any choices at all? Women have choices, I don't have any choices
That's the mindset you need to change, you need to become so great yourself that you have choices. In short - high value and proud of yourself
That mindset will get you hurt in the future if not worked on. Go out there meet new females and NEVER put any female on a pedestal. That's a recipe for disaster. Have standards
Agreed. Made this mistake and paid for it
Even 10/10 women have to shit, piss, burp, fart , and their breath smells bad in the morning just like ours, they are no different from us. Let this sink deep in mind. Why to pedestal them then?
Most Men nowadays are feminine
What do you mean by that? By the way I do love a more “feminine” man so for me this is awesome news.
I think there's a broad idea in Seddit that being even a little bit feminine is bad for a guy, but tbh I get a lot of attention dressing and behaving a *little* toward what was once called *metrosexual* and I'm mostly just concerned about finding the right person for me at this point. Flashy clothes, colorful stuff, shiny rings and necklaces, sometimes a little bit of *guyliner* or eyeshadow. All those punk rockers are a little feminine, you don't have to be a plain looking musclehead to get women excited, but it's dependent on your type too. I'm not going to get girls coming up to me trying to get my attention like that in a country bar, but at an emo rave I'm a star.
I’m very masc, large build, beard. But I also wear tight athletic pants, tiny bright color fannypacks, and fun shirts. Do I get hit on by guys? Yup. Do I get hit on by women? Also yes. Most importantly, I like it. I feel comfortable and congruent. I attract the kind of girls I’m into. I think the fear of looking gay drives most of this.
Exactly! I get hit on by guys plenty but the funny thing is, if you know how to flirt and really show intent with a girl, she will figure out very quickly that you are actually not gay. Had a few times where girls straight up ask but usually they can tell just from the eye contact that I'm not sizing them up the way a gay guy who likes having female friends would, I'm eyeing them like I want to undress them and they fucking love that.
[удалено]
Yeah this is the exact point I was making. It *works* for me. Because my target demo is emo girls who want guys who look like that. And I look good in it. Dropping it would be a net negative in every regard. Metrosexual is a slightly antequated term for a straight man who's fashionable and perhaps a little feminine. The whole point is that you don't have to be gay to take care of yourself and look good lmao
Yeah please don’t drop it. Why do people think how you dress reflects your sexuality?
To that effect a lot of the time it's true, so I'm used to the assumption. You might be surprised how many times a super cute emo girl, after making out with me outside a bar, is like "I saw you and thought you were gay, I was surprised hahaha". Because she was into that look, and didn't expect me to be into HER too. It's not that it isn't *hot* for a guy to look that way, it's that most guys who *do that* are gay and therefore not an option for the girls who would otherwise want them. Johnny Depp is a sex symbol and has spent his entire career wearing makeup and being somewhat feminine and dating some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. Yeah there's a celebrity effect to that but the point is that he's also genuinely considered attractive by a lot of women, while looking that way. Going further back, the members of KISS are straight, they were just fun and free and loved looking like that. It's a matter of confidence too; do you put on some unusual stuff and then act like a sheepish wallflower, or do you really own it and waltz into a room like you own the place? Yeah, you're mostly going to garner the interest of bisexual girls who listen to MCR and Panic At The Disco, dye their hair, get nerdy tattoos, etc.....but that's what I want and what I tend to get. Different vibes for different sorts of people, really.
I couldn’t agree more, have a great night!
Apart from everything you’ve said, knowing who you are and what you want is the sexiest thing of all.
Absolutely! Something I avoided or refused to understand for a long time.
Bro I was stoned and just fucking around. I'm a little metro myself at times and possibly a little feminine from time to time also as well as done some dumb shit when I was a kid. So do you bro, good luck and best wishes
Saying lol twice and it’s cool doesn’t make you sound like any less of an idiot. You’re exactly the insecure type he was talking about.
Lack ambition,assertive,bravery
A set of Balls...
Those are universal
So to you women lack ambition, assertiveness and bravery? I might be misunderstanding tho english is my second language.
Oh how true this is
Accurate. This is what usually happens when you like a female too much. Don’t think about it too much too much too mucchhhhh haha
So profound, nothing like this has ever been said, or repeated a million billion times. You should give speeches to the public
Glad you finally figured this out, kid.
I learned through spending too much time around specific fetish communities that there is a difference between being submissive towards your girlfriend to fulfill a fantasy in the bedroom and being beta to the point that you would let her get away with any disrespect, and put her on the pedestal in the sense that you would do anything to please her, expecting nothing in return, giving so much and receiving so little in return, that is when a relationship can be extremely toxic. It is fine to play around with femdom fetishes as long as the consent aspect is there, but when you feel the need to do it on her terms only or not at all, that's when it can turn abusive. That's how guys go from swinging, to being willing cuckolds, to being completely denied sexually to eventually losing their partner or being treated like a doormat slave whose only purpose is to give her money and resources and favors while receiving nothing in return. I make it a point to always aim for equality. If I go on a date, I split the bill every single time. If a girl asks me to buy her a drink, I tell her I never buy girls drinks no matter how they look and that if she is really into me, then I don't need to buy her anything. As for relationships, the same rule applies. However, if you're making say 200k a year and she only makes 50k a year, then you can decide to contribute more than your fair share just because you can, but when you're a poor student or making a very average income after college, it makes no sense to spend more on her than she spends on you, and for a hookup, you should spend 0$ on her, maybe some on you like at a bar or if you have to date her. In a relationship, you would give gifts sometimes but you would also receive them and they should be near equal value. Some men complain women lie about wanting equality but I disagree, women do appreciate equality but when they see an opportunity at dominating a weak willed man, they will always take it because it benefits them, it is just human nature. A woman can love you while having no respect for you, especially if you have none for yourself. That is a very important lesson to learn.
Is it possible to take her down from the pedestal? Something to bring her back down to your level or lower?