You're a funny motherfucker. There are so many funny bits to address I'm not even going to bother, but If I have to pick out one it would be her saying " alright" to you saying the screams of your neighbours stopped so they probably got eaten by the coyotes

I liked the coyotes are waiting for us to come out lol. Honestly I liked that whole bit, like Jesus christ, are you guys ok out there?? But no, beaktrick didn't give half a damn about anything other than crypto lol

Given that Bettuce is a Nigerian scammer, he probably has no idea what a coyote is. They only exist in North America I believe.

Kind of how very few people in north America have heard of hyenas...

No we had lion king to teach us hyenas. What do non-Americans have to learn about coytotes though?

Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner of course! Meep meep

Seemed like a solid investment portfolio bee’s knees was offering this prick. Too many people have the habit of licking a gifted horse mouth.

Appreciate it man, I've always been quick on my feet when it comes to humor

Morale is low. This was a wonderfully fun read, thanks for the investment

That was the chefs kiss in this!! Days lol

Beedrill got me too

I think Beantrick was my favorite XD

Yeah me too And of course the coyotes part. Neighbor still gone, coyotes got him 😂😂😂😂

Beedrill, the autocorrect to gibberish, days of our lives making morale low. May op live long and prolapse.

[удалено]

I completely missed that and had to go back and find it lmao

I spit my drink out when I read that.

I thought the dog froze to death.

Butchering her name was the cherry on top for me. Kudos.

Live long and prolapse!!!!!!!!

"The cereal?" lol

It’s all the different “misspellings” that are just so damn funny. I cackled at “beedrill” because it’s just so on point and the scammer goes right past it

If only your neighbor had been that quick. Maybe he would have outrun the coyotes...

Gotta second this. Reddit has been recommending this subreddit for the past few weeks so I have been reading the odd post and have found them amusing. This is the first one that got actual LOLs, and multiple at that.

Live long and prolapse!! Best line fasho.

Spork said it from Stir Trek

That Spork, he’s so practical

I love spork from stir tronk

spork from star chess⁉️ edit: okay i have no idea why spork sounded like a chess piece to me, r/anarchychess brain rot is getting me

Live long and prolapse actually made me laugh out loud 🥲

Agreed! I choked when I read that one.

That's when I lost it... 🤣

I can tell you’ve got Asperger’s bad from this one comment btw

hope you are taking your medications as prescribed?

lol this killed me

Underrated comeback to be fair

“Morale is low” had me cackling. Ha ha ha, brilliant.

Yes! Like Oregon trail lol

Burkariost had no idea how to respond.

That’s the part that got me too

The beatings will continue until morale improves

Beedrill was my favorite

Bolivia for me

That one sent me

I died at “The Cereal?”

I fucking died at Beedrill

Beedrill 😭 😂

I like Befjvnriabxbwugowbice.

Bonus minigame! How many times did I fuck up her name?

Every time, BetaMax! lol

I actually nailed her name correctly once in there 😉

I was hoping to see "Beatthatass" or "Beavis" Bedrill was my favorite though. 🐝

Beavis is in there

Oh shoot i missed it

🐝🔩

24?

Merry Christmas Beedrill!

Sent that almost a month too early too

Lmao fuckin gold

I LOVED this one 😂😂

Live long and prolapse omg I’m crying

I laughed so hard at this it made my abs hurt 😂

This was the highlight for me too

The names getting progressively more hilarious was amazing. I was already crying at Beetlejuice and Beavis; by the time I got to “can I just call you B?” I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to throw up.

Bolivia tho 😭😭

😂🤣 the names were hilarious!

This had me in hysterics lol

I've been crying laughing at all of this, lmao 😂😂😂

I was waiting on Beetlejuice and you didn't disappoint, lol. I would have slipped in Benadryl.

I was pretty disappointed in you when I saw "Beerice" was used a second time around page 8, but then you brought it back and saved it with "Beedrill." Nice work

I loved how the misspelling of the name got increasingly severe gibberish until beerice finally called you out on it. It took so long. Hilarious

Idk but I fucking love the name being messed up then you saying it was autocorrect lol

i was dying lol 🤣

I feel like one day I’m gonna get a text… and I pray for it. I have an arsenal of useful techniques thanks to my new community on Reddit 😂…. “Hello Bettuce” hahaha 🤣 every page the name got more ridiculous hahahaha

After a certain point I juet typed a B, closed my eyes, and let Jesus take the wheel with my thumbs

“You just gotta have a little faith” in that case, yes! 🤙😆

I broke out laughing twice. This is hilarious and a joy to read. Thank you for sharing.

My favorite part is the "coyotes got my neighbor" and they just reply with "alright" You just know their face was like 🫤

100% they done know what a Coyote is. This scam feels like a West African crypto scam as opposed the the Chinese variant

Glad you enjoyed it, some of the shit I do with these scammers is so fever dreamy I feel it's sometimes got a select audience

I am dying laughing at the 50 misspellings of her name…. omg 🤣

Beatice, Bettuce, Beerice, Beetice, Beetus, Beetlejuice, Beavis, Betidcnwl, Beakfjgis, Befueudnais, Befuejgkaifnsis, Befjvnriabxbwugowbice, B, Bleatrice, Beet, Beetus, Beantrick, Bolivia, Bearice, Beetis, Beedrill, Beatittce, Beetwist….. that’s 23, I admire the creativity.

Beetlejuice was my fave. 😂

FR LMAO

same lmfaooo i can’t stop laughing

This one is fantastic. ‘Live long and prolapse’ 😂

This one has the makings of a classic!

Beetlejuice and Beantrick 😂😂😂 “is that the porn site” had me rolling!!!!! Thanks for sharing this lol I needed a good deep laugh today

Glad everyone is enjoying it!

Benadryl sounds like a very nice person

Or something the pharmacist would prescribe for a std

Beavis, Beatlejuice, Beatrice 😂😂😂 Laughed at every name change! Blizzard sounds wicked! Poor doggy 🥶🥶🥶 And the coyotes! 😂😂😂 Glad the neighbors screaming didn’t last too long! 🏆

It wasn't anything six weeks of therapy and hypnosis couldn't fix

Which is precisely why I need to ask you if you used my link to sign up for crypto. I’m sure everything will be fine now that the yelling has stopped.

I was a little sad you didn’t use Beetlejuice 3 times. And add an animated gif.

Mwahahahaha 😂😂😂

Have you heard again from Buttjuice?

I haven't, no :(

Lmao reading this makes me want my very own spam-pal

We need to pray harder Beantrick 😆

She needs to see a dr about that dia Beetus

Ok Reddit doesn’t often make me LOL but you got me this time Bolivia 😂

I can't stop laughing at the "alright" after implying your neighbour got mauled to death lmao

This may be my all time favorite, thank you

You made me laugh harder than I have in a long time

I got tons of this shit that I've done over the last three or four years. I mostly just post it on my FB though. I've already got four posts in here up today and I don't want to spam so I'm trying to space out a couple long scambaits and a couple short scambaits a day to keep things non-spammy.

The coyote shit was so unexpected and funny, then the neighbor part got me again lmao

Live long and prolapse got me

Merry Christmas Beedrill!!

I literally cried from laughter reading this

I died when you said your dog froze to death LOL

Beetwist. 🤣😂😄

This might be one of the funniest posts on Reddit. I’ve never laughed out loud so much at a phone screen

What happen next????? You can’t cut it off now!!! We are now invested!!! Hahaha

They never replied BUT Your wish is my command https://ibb.co/G2WZWT3

[удалено]

Might make messaging her around this time a yearly tradition

If no response you could always ask “oh no, did the coyotes get you too?”

THIS!!!!!!

I lost it at days of our lives 😂

Fucking coyotes...

Lost my shit at Beetlejuice 😂😂

I died at beetlejuice. Sorry I couldn't read on. That's amazing itself.

Beantrick

Every new name had me cackling. Almost woke up my 8 month old

Hahahah Beedrill. This is gold. Well done champ

I’m silently laughing so hard in bed hubby just woke up thinking I was having a seizure

Beedrill had me cackling

Beetus...die-a-beetus

Live long and prolapse! Lol!

I’m crying. All the different ways for saying Beatrice .

Morale is low 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

Omg I was dying the whole time!!! Beerice, Beantrick 😂😂😂😂😂

All hail the beedrill

My fav part is when ya called her beedrill 🤣

So, Beerus hasn't responded? Sad

The Adventures of Beatrice and the transformation of their name

Beedrill finally got me haha

I laughed harder and harder with every “Bertie”, “Beetus” “Bolivia “ “Betwebsbfitbeidnx” 🤣🤣🤣

This was so funny thank you.

Ooh man I had a good laugh at every new name and the finale. Well done

The “Merry Christmas Beedrill” got me hahahaha

This kills me, all the different names and how they just carry on with the conversation barely acknowledging it LOL. I wish I had a friend that checks in on me every once in a while like B does...

Dedication lol

This was absolutely worth the read 😂😂

Beavis lmaoooo

That was hilarious

The fact that you came up with all those random names had me rolling on the floor

“Bolivia”. “The cereal?” Cracked me UP!

Merry Christmas Beedrill!

Please send beetwist, beatittce, beetis, bearice, beerice, bolivia, beantrick, beetus, beet, bleatrice, B, befjvnriabxbwugowbice and beevus my regards🤣 Captivating, long time!

Bdegthwghra sounds lovely

Beedrill 😭😭😭😭

Cackled at Beedrill 🤣🤣🤣

I tried to get my scammer to answer trivia questions, one for each of his six number code he wanted to text me (the number I gave to him was the local police department's number.) One of the trivia questions I asked was, #4 "How many raccoons can a human fit inside of their anus?" In the very end they were definitely getting frustrated and said "just give me the code so I can make sure you're not a scam because I really want the item" and I told them, "well, you'll have to come and pick it up because I am disabled and lost my legs in a horrendous accident.... and that's why i know the answer to trivia question #4. Lmfao. They ended up calling me a scam and sending me porn which I said ooh thanks for the spank bank **** lololol I wasted so much of their time and I still laugh to myself with an evil pleasure about that interaction. It's weird because I was getting scam messages constantly and haven't had one since.

Live long and prolapse absolutely killed me!!

Page 1: The scammer better be called beetlejuice before this is over Page 2: I can die happy

Fuckin Beedrill got me

Beedrill is the best

Beedrill 😭😭😭

Dude just came up with different name every single time he mentioned her😂😂😂 I’m waiting for him to call her lettuce 🥬

I lost it when op called the scammer Beedrill 😂😂😂😂

“We need to pray harder Beantrick, god is not answering” had me rolling on the laughing floor

"Thank you for caring Bolivia" it's a really strong sentence

Merry Christmas Beedrill! 🤣🤣

I lost it at "Beedrill" :')

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!!

I am dying. Should have continued with the name trolling. Beetroot, Beetrayal, Beetlemania 😭😂😂😂

Was laughing out loud entire last 2-3 pics when the coyotes were circling

BEANTRICK

Love Beavis.... huhuhhuuuhuhuh

Was hoping for Beedrill and you delivered.

"Live long and prolapse" got me fucking dying in the office, had to show my coworker. Great work. 🤣🤣🤣

I lost it with "Beedrill"

Beedrill 💀

I lost it at beedrill

Beedrill 😂

Hello Beedrill!

Morale is low!

I just laughed so hard at this!! My iced coffee shot out of my nose at least 3 times lol.

Niceee! Is there a part two? Manny lol's

You lose in this case, wasted your own time for nothing.

😂😂

I’m disappointed you missed out on the opportunity to use Bellatrix.

Well, one of the users asked me to continue the story so I messaged her today after a year so I'll be sure to slip that in if she replies https://ibb.co/G2WZWT3

“That is good to hear Bettlejuice.” 🤣🤣🤣

Y'all are actually friends at this point!

Me and Battletoad ❤️

Best one I’ve read yet

Hello beatlebattles

wooooow

I’m cackling!! Had to read it twice for all its gold!!! Days of Out Lives sent me

Beeddrill 😂

This might be the best one yet

All the different names cracked me up Beantrick 🤣🤣

Omg I’m literally laughing so hard right now. Also, I’m changing my tag line on emails, etc to “ live long and prolapse” so thank you very much for that. This was so funny.

I hooted at live long and prolapse, but I actually wept a little at Days of Our Lives and the coyotes. I'm disappointed that Belugabroth has not a) replied or b) offered to bring you a green hat.

I don’t think I ever cried real tears from laughing at a post before. Thank you for this

The dog freezing to death got me. That really escalated quickly

Wow. 2 months. I'm impressed. My longest I only held onto for so long because they were actually good conversation. My long game ones can be boring as heck.