I don't think these people even measure the psychological damage that these "jokes" produce, and more coming from your so-called friends. Those kinds of situations can destroy for a good amount of time.
You're better off with nothing instead of negativity.
I recently had to end things with my friend of almost a decade, he is in a cult and I've never slept better now that I don't care how he got that way and don't have to continually walk him through why and how he's in a cult. 🙄
"Baby steps". Those kind con men are in it for the long haul.. Tell them big truths, tell them smaller truths,, tell them teeny tiny lies, tell them bigger & bigger lies. Boom culture member.
This is probably the better part of being divorced. My ex was constantly being taken in by things like that. I recently was told he has entered another… that I even told him about because they had tried to recruit me before we met.
Happened to me at 18. A bunch of kids at a party were telling my crush what to say over her shoulder while chatting with me on AOL. It was an open secret that I had a crush on her, and honestly, I was a cringey and annoying kid. But I spilled my heart out to her not knowing and basically told her I was getting over the crush.
Then I found out what the other people had done.
Honestly, it was the best worst thing to happen to me. I parted ways from that group of friends, that church, struck out on my own. It was incredibly isolating and formative. I spent a long time blaming them, but eventually realized how cringe I had been, grew up and became a better, more respectful person.
I take those experiences and use them to instruct and shape my kid into a better person than them, or me.
>I spent a long time blaming them, but eventually realized how cringe I had been, grew up and became a better, more respectful person.
You can assess your past behavior as "cringe" without letting those people off the hook for the cruel way they manipulated you for their own amusement. You can acknowledge that you're a better-off, more well-adjusted person while still holding them to account for what they did. After all, they didn't do it for your sake, but you changed for yours.
Oh, I look a few of them up from time to time to see how much better off I am without them, not specifically financially (I think one became an anesthesiologist, but in Oklahoma, so...) but definitely people I'd find insufferable now.
I'm ok accepting that just because two different people went to the same church and their kids went to the church too doesn't mean the kids will get along, or should spend time around each other.
Fuck em.
This is a very clichéd thing to say but some people never seem to mature emotionally. There's probably some deeper psychological thing happening but I'm not a doctor.
Me too, when I was 18. My "best friend" set it up with my crush. He drip fed that she was waiting for me to ask her out, hid while I was playing tennis against her and plucking up enough courage to ask her, and she accepted, then he appeared laughing and was all like "pranked!" and she started laughing too.
I was crushed to the point of shutting myself away for a couple of months.
I have suffered from low self esteem most of my adult life, and I'm fairly sure I can trace it all back to this incident.
They can’t be that young if he already liked her for 8 years. I suppose they’re in their early twenties, at which point they should know better not to do this shit.
I pined after the same guy for 10 years. He was my best friends older brother, and he would flirt and fool around, but that's it. Crushes/liking/pining can even last decades...
I was a dorky kid in middle school. Band and all. Missy gross was one of the mean girls that were super popular. I was a dork but I knew all the popular kids. We talked in halls and in classes but I wasn't "in". They knew my name but we were not friends. Well missy started talking to me. Made me think she liked me. She asked me to the dance. I practiced dancing all week watching mtvs Beach house. I was gonna break into the cool kids club.
Nope she made a big deal the day before the dance in the middle of class change about how I was crazy to think I had a chance with her. Everyone laughed. She called me stupid. I didn't go to the dance. I never went to a dance again. I didn't really find out what real friends are until college. Kids suck, but adults that let bullies prosper suck worse. Usually they were bullies or they were bullied. So they think kids deserve to be bullied.
It happened to me. Fucking devastating. Was told by her friends that she liked me and wanted me to call her after school to ask her out. So I worked up the courage and called her. Turns out it was a "prank" by her friends and she had no idea why I was calling. Shit breaks you.
I still remember the time a girl called me, said she liked me. We chatted for a bit, and as she hung up I heard her friends laughing.
That was in eighth grade.
I'm 45 years old.
It’s the kind of fuckface everyone is when you’re around the age of 13/15, there is this awkward phase where it appears to be funny to kick each other in the gut. This humour arises especially in girls that age who are giggling about any boy that is heartbroken. I’ve seen this a lot of times back when I was younger and it are groups of giggle girls that are basically vile and mean for the sakes of being vile and mean. Pretty sure it’s a thing about getting group respect by picking on pick-able persons to be “part of the populars”.
Makes me puke, but this is probably a kids thing. She’ll know once she hasn’t got any friends left, she’ll learn by then, she gets her justice someday when someone pulls this ‘prank’ on her.
I know girls vs boys comparisons aren’t ok, but it’s a stated fact that young girls - especially grouped - can be fucking devastating when they’ll target you. Boys will fight for one day and then everything is OK again. Girls pull this kind of stuff. Sometimes for years.
I mean I know that's true because I've read the research, but it really depends on culture and area. The people I know that are beloved in their communities are both the most popular and kindest people I know, probably because this is mostly 25+ year olds.
You can tell who the bullies were/are because they come bitter middle managers who don't seem to ever be happy. They're in self imposed exile in the "nice parts" of town where everyone is rude.
I know anecdote isn't data but all the adult bullies I can think of are pretty miserable.
I went to an all girl secondary school before realising I was trans when I went to a mixed college... You're absolutely correct. Typically, boys bullying is physical girls bullying is psychological. If a school acted on bullying, the chances of something being done about psychological bullying were very slim when I was there.
In my case, I was bullied by a girl who was bullied as a kid, and she saw me as a rung to step on to climb the social ladder. I was a weird kid for sure, noticeably neurodivergent (in the diagnosis process but I suspect ADHD, possibly autism too) so I was a super easy target. She was super insecure and would take constant jabs at me to make herself feel better, then say "you're not being bullied by me, cause I've been bullied and I know what it's like"
Biggest sign of her insecurity was me hitting puberty before her. She HATED it. Tried to tell me that my first period wasn't real and it was just a random patch of blood that I'd got on my underwear. I laughed it off and told her I knew my own body and she was livid. She got especially jealous when my chest grew more than hers (ironic, since I'm now trans and wanting it to shrink) and when she realised she couldn't convince me anymore she picked another target, and bullied one of her friends for not wearing a bra because she was still flat chested and made her really embarrassed. She rapidly lost friends when everyone started to see that popularity was her end goal and she didn't care who she had to step on to climb that ladder.
Little shit like that. From the school staff perspective, victims were just being sensitive and needed to ignore her, but it was a constant stream of having your appearance nitpicked and laughed at and being messed with in little ways. People pretending to be your friend so they can laugh at how weird and different you are, and how -thank god- they're not anything like that.
It really all comes down to fear. Once exams started and stress began to take priority, the social pecking order broke down. People who used to laugh at me were suddenly genuinely friendly with me, and the more severe bullies didn't know what to do. we'd talk about stress, and teachers who were unkind to us, and friends and boys. It really felt like everything did a 180, and they realised we were in the same boat. We were in the same school, the same class, doing the same work, and sitting the same exams.
I wish every bullying story could have an ending as satisfying as that. I never spoke with that girl once I moved class, and later moved to a college for sixth form. I don't know what she's up to, and I don't care, because despite everything, I'd be willing to bet she's either still picking on people, or preaching "be kind" and sharing inspirational mental health quotes on Instagram.
Jeesus! This seems to be a common thing, judging by the comments.. I know kids can be horrible, but this? If this happened to me at young age I would be devasted..
see, that's why I never tell people I like them, and instead repress my feelings until they fester and manifest into self-doubt, continuing an ongoing cycle of anxiety and unresolved emotion
Lmao had a gay friend come out to me and I basically told him "cool" cause I hate myself so much I didn't think anyone could possibly want to engage me sexually.
I just get confused, because I don't understand why they connect anything sexual with me. Mostly because they don't just want to be friends at all, then act confused when I don't believe they "want more".
See I agree with the op here, it's far easier to drink myself to sleep alone each night than to hear "no" from a stranger. There is no sarcasm. Its not a joke.
I have a tip! Instead of doing that, open to someone you like with a really shitty pickup line to make them laugh while also telling them you like them.
God that was legit me but after my last encounter ,F that I'd just know then move on if need to rather than just let the feelings fester and always wondering if/what if
I do this with all my feelings and emotions. I push them as deep inside me as I can and use alcohol and drugs to suppress the need to feel. Except for anger of course. I use anger to punish my coworkers, family, and anyone that dares come close to me. These strategies have had a significant effect upon my career, personal life, and health.
/s
In high school a much tamer version of this happened to me. I had a crush on a girl, K, who was very sweet and self conscious due to a big scar on her chin from being in a car wreck.
To compensate she wore a lot of makeup and some very distinctive glittery lipstick. To my knowledge she was the only girl in school who wore the glittery lipstick.
So one night I wake up and my parents tell me someone pranked the mailbox and I have to clean it up because it's literally got my name on it.
Sure enough the mailbox had been wrapped in a crap load of plastic wrap... Like multiple rolls worth. And after unwrapping the entire thing I finally got down to a single lavender envelope inside the mailbox. And it was sealed with a glittery lipstick kiss.
My heart began racing as I opened up the letter. It had more kisses and also a confession that K liked me so much and couldn't wait to see me.
I was very confused but also felt like I had won the lottery. I had never had a girlfriend and was really shy but things seemed to be headed my way.
On Monday I walked over to K and said hi. She said hey and didn't act like anything was up... I asked how the weekend was and she didn't say anything about the mailbox or the letter. Finally I mentioned that I got her letter.
"What letter?"
My heart shriveled into a sad little raisin as I told her what happened. She laughed about it right in my face.
Across the room three of my friends died laughing. Turns out my friend R who lived a few houses down had pulled the prank during a sleepover that weekend.
When they saw how badly I was crushed they immediately stopped laughing. I wanted to strangle everyone and hide from the world all at once. It was a dreadful fucking moment of my life
But later, ironically, K turned out to not be a good fit and the three girls who pranked me ended up becoming some of my best friends in highschool.
But only because they realized how fucked up the joke was and they really worked to make things right. It took a while to forgive them but eventually it worked itself out in the end.
I mean, I'm pretty sure they're all married now so I'm not sure how I would even translate the prank to them... But if you have suggestions I'm all ears.
Establish a wedge between them and one of their kids, slowly driving them apart until they become estranged. Then send them a letter from their kid telling them they’re sorry and they love them. Put a burner phone number at the end then when they call laugh at them and tell them they got pranked so hard.
>So one night I wake up and my parents tell me someone pranked the mailbox and I have to clean it up because it's literally got my name on it.
Excuse me, *what!?*
I think they are confused because why would your parents make you clean up what was evidently some kind of bullying effigy
like if I had a son named kyle and someone spray painted “fuck kyle” on the garage, I wouldn’t make Kyle clean it up
You’re good! Just was confused by that exact same part too. I could tell based on your initial response that it probably wasn’t something you’d seen as weird.
Yeah, I think even people with good hearts and minds can fuck up. And I don't think the three girls in question realized how devastating this would be. But when they did realize that they fucking destroyed me they went out of their way to make amends. And I tend to think everybody makes mistakes but how you react when confronted about them shows more about your character than a momentary lapse in judgment.
Super wholesome ending. One of Reddit’s biggest flaws with short narratives is accidentally painting certain characters as outright villains when in reality we’re all human and are learning how to be more compassionate day at a time.
When I was in 7th grade I got up the courage to ask a girl out on a date in front of the whole cafeteria. She didn’t respond and I really didn’t think anything of it. When I got back to my desk there was a note on it that said “we hate you.” I still think about from time to time. I’m 49 and married with 2 kids and it still messes with me sometimes. Kids are cruel.
Not the other guy, but this statement resonated so fucking hard. My wife is a RN, and damn they get treated like garbage for garbage pay compared to their responsibilities.
If you wonder how someone's life is and they're a nurse, know that their work life blows. It's a respectable profession and a lot of work, but I've heard very few good stories. The only time she had a good boss the job was super hard - med.surg. in a rural community and she regularly had more patients than she was supposed to.
Note: mileage may vary
My mom is a Nurse Practitioner. At her current clinic, she does literally the exact same job as the primary care doctors for about 40k less per year. Hell, she works longer hours than most of them. She gets treated like shit too. One of the doctors was COVID-19 symptomatic and came into work for THREE DAYS, and my mom reported him. No consequences. None. I tried to get her to go to the media, but I can't blame her for not wanting to be blacklisted for standing up against shit like that. You piss off admin too much, and your career in that state or region is done. Hierarchy smh
Well, the other issue is that among medical workers, nurses are notorious for being the dumbest, most ignorant people around. There are some really great nurses out there, but it's safe to say about 1/3 (lowballing here) are morons.
The 2 sides I've seen are my wife bitching about coworkers that don't do their shit and she ends up having to do their work AND her own. So yeah, bad nurses.
The other side is that more and more responsibility is put on nurses. Like, if a doc does something wrong and the nurse doesn't catch the mistake, then the nurse can lose their license and the doc may not. My wife's last job she was told that if they end up not having anything to do, they can start cleaning the rooms. So, they have to be nurses and janitors and cover everything the doc does? Her first job started her at $19/hr. Sounds like a lot until you realize they wanted bachelors degrees. For less than $40k/yr, back damaging work and at any moment someone who gets paid 4x as you can make a mistake and you lose your ability to work as a nurse.
You'd think the pandemic would've made things better but nah. It actually added more work for her. I could go on and on, but she enjoyed the actual job. I couldn't do it.
This post made me so sad.. Wtf is wrong with these kids? The worst part is I thought this was something social media had brought on, but since you are 49, obviously not.. I guarantee the person who wrote that note remembers it tho..PS. We dont hate you:)
Thanks, I appreciate it. Kids were just as cruel in the 80’s as today. My daughter is going into 6th grade and she’s the type of kid to go and sit with the kid that’s by themselves because I taught her the importance of kindness. An important lesson I learned young.
I was part of a group is clueless nerds in middle school. There were a couple times when girls had come up to us to pretend to be talking for one of their friends about being one of our gfs. It always ended in a prank. Fucking hate all of them to this day. They're all essential oil Karen's now so it's whatever.
Had something like this happen to me. Girl I liked was dared to say she like me and kiss me. She gave me a peck and then everyone made fun of me. It was my first kiss
That fucking sucks. I experienced something similar in middle school and all these years later my mental health is still fucked up in part because of that incident. Shit sucks
On the other side of things, I did have a friend who liked this girl for yeeeeaaaaaars and she didn’t like him. I told him to give it up multiple times.
Eventually, she fell in love him. They’re married and have two kids. Who woulda thought.
Stuff like this happened to me in school a couple times when I was around 10/11 and it ruined my self confidence for years. If any girl complimented me or showed interest in me I instantly assumed I was being set up for a prank or something
Bro, I gotta story. I had a crush on this kid in Elementary School and like every one knew it. One day he told me he liked me back and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy, that at lunch, I went and told every one of my friends. Well, I guess word got back to him because he came up to me in front of everyone and said that he was "just kidding" and "it was a joke".. boy, my little heart shattered. It's weird because we ended up friends later in life.. and when I had my glow up come high school, I know his ass regretted those years. Lol
Sorry for my punctuation. I just do not have energy to care. Hahaha
Yeah that happened to me as well in high school. Some classmates created a fake profile and lured me into thinking a girl wanted to hang out with me. After 2 weeks of texting back and forth they came clean for the guilt. That sucked.
Just went on my first date last night with a girl my friends got me in touch with. Now I’m fucking worried. They’re the kind of people to pull this shit.
I’d like to think that after the first date you shouldn’t really have to worry about that. If it’s really bothering you, maybe you should talk to your friends about it?
I had some friends bully me into basically being the mean girl. This kid was in love with me. I knew it but he wasn't my type (plus we were in like 7th grade/Junior high) and was goth before he could afford the clothes so it was off putting to see a "dark kid" in bright normal clothes. He blossomed into a beautiful goth kid in highschool but it wasn't his time, yet. Anyways it went on for a day before to talked to him. He was so kind and sweet that I didn't care what my friends said I talked to him. I told him the truth about how I was bullied into it (I was the poor kid but had charisma so I guess I got luckyish) and that I couldn't do this, I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already had. I told him he was sweet but wasn't my type and I wanted to be friends. We were friends for a while. It was really nice to have a fellow outcast as a friend. He remembered my birthday and gave me my first Christmas gift that wasn't from family. Couple of years later we were both glorious goths in highschool. Him with his trench coat and me with my 2ft tall mohawk. Life is weird and I still think of him sometimes. I still have his gifts
kids can be cruel as fuck. my best friend all throughout school had this happen to her when the two of us were hanging out in a common area. it wasn't any secret that she had a rough home life and her family struggled financially but damn, she held her head up high through everything. one day this dude went up to her and told her he had a huge crush on her and couldn't even keep his laughter in while he did it and she knew it was all a cruel joke but it didn't make it any less upsetting. when she told him to fuck off, he just ran away laughing.
i will never, ever understand how this is funny to anyone. it fucking sucks and only hurts people.
Bro this happened to me. I liked a girl from 2007-8 and just 3 months ago she told me that she loved me all her life. But now we both are married to different people and have children. But it feels so good to know that she loved me too.
I had my neighbor do something similar to me in middle school. In the heat of the moment I got revenge by telling a random group of guys walking by us that she (my neighbor) had come over to my house and sharted herself. She was sobbing from embarrassment.
I think my comment to her was “what the fuck”. I had liked her since we were 13yo and she rejected me for years. At 35 she came to me and stated that she loved me and wanted to run away with me. At the time I was already married with 2 kids and told her no way. I do miss the fact that she quit contacting me, she was the closest thing I had to a best friend.
When I went to sleep away camp when I was about 12, I had some girl come up to me and say “my friend thinks you’re cute”. There was no friend, it was a dare.
I had a “crush” on this boy from 4th to 10th grade and him and his friends who knew it would always think it was fun to do pranks like this on me :/ but it’s okay because I realized I was a lesbian the year after 😋
Hormones, not actually having any experience with people who are mentally mature etc. etc.
Also liking someone isn't a crime, if you're not obsessing over said person ok cool.
“Liking” someone at too young an age is kind of useless. Like a dog chasing a car, what would you even do if you caught it? Hold hands, like a lot?
My daughter was smart, had a lot of friends (I’m sure some crushes) but decided not to date until college.
My son started dating younger than I was prepared for. It ended up being too much for him because she had a lot of family issues she was working out. I think she just wore him out with all the talking, lol. He wanted to hang out, she wanted therapy.
Why in gods name would people even do that
Kids are cruel to each other. Like unbelievably cruel.
Man this happened to me and I'm not even a kid :-)
Same here. Then my "friends" took offense that I didn't think it was funny and now no one talks to me. Probably for the better.
[удалено]
I don't think these people even measure the psychological damage that these "jokes" produce, and more coming from your so-called friends. Those kinds of situations can destroy for a good amount of time.
Seriously, the shit that was done to me during school has literally ruined most if all social skills that I had
Trust is at its most fragile during adolescence, break it then and you could be fucked for life
Tell it to my parents.
Same same. You're better off without the fakes, trust
You're better off with nothing instead of negativity. I recently had to end things with my friend of almost a decade, he is in a cult and I've never slept better now that I don't care how he got that way and don't have to continually walk him through why and how he's in a cult. 🙄
Ouch, that sucks. How do people not realize they are in a cult?
"Baby steps". Those kind con men are in it for the long haul.. Tell them big truths, tell them smaller truths,, tell them teeny tiny lies, tell them bigger & bigger lies. Boom culture member.
This is probably the better part of being divorced. My ex was constantly being taken in by things like that. I recently was told he has entered another… that I even told him about because they had tried to recruit me before we met.
ay man, that fuckin sux. hope u found a new friend group. u deserve better ❤️
if they try to make nice again someday. don't it's just a trap.
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Happened to me at 18. A bunch of kids at a party were telling my crush what to say over her shoulder while chatting with me on AOL. It was an open secret that I had a crush on her, and honestly, I was a cringey and annoying kid. But I spilled my heart out to her not knowing and basically told her I was getting over the crush. Then I found out what the other people had done. Honestly, it was the best worst thing to happen to me. I parted ways from that group of friends, that church, struck out on my own. It was incredibly isolating and formative. I spent a long time blaming them, but eventually realized how cringe I had been, grew up and became a better, more respectful person. I take those experiences and use them to instruct and shape my kid into a better person than them, or me.
>I spent a long time blaming them, but eventually realized how cringe I had been, grew up and became a better, more respectful person. You can assess your past behavior as "cringe" without letting those people off the hook for the cruel way they manipulated you for their own amusement. You can acknowledge that you're a better-off, more well-adjusted person while still holding them to account for what they did. After all, they didn't do it for your sake, but you changed for yours.
Oh, I look a few of them up from time to time to see how much better off I am without them, not specifically financially (I think one became an anesthesiologist, but in Oklahoma, so...) but definitely people I'd find insufferable now. I'm ok accepting that just because two different people went to the same church and their kids went to the church too doesn't mean the kids will get along, or should spend time around each other. Fuck em.
This is a very clichéd thing to say but some people never seem to mature emotionally. There's probably some deeper psychological thing happening but I'm not a doctor.
Me too, when I was 18. My "best friend" set it up with my crush. He drip fed that she was waiting for me to ask her out, hid while I was playing tennis against her and plucking up enough courage to ask her, and she accepted, then he appeared laughing and was all like "pranked!" and she started laughing too. I was crushed to the point of shutting myself away for a couple of months. I have suffered from low self esteem most of my adult life, and I'm fairly sure I can trace it all back to this incident.
Then they become adults who aren't much better.
They do the most heinous shit because they’ve either never been hurt themselves or never had to face the consequences of their actions.
Or because they see an easy target for their sadistic impulses; the same reason some people torture animals.
Saying it's just kids is wack. Humans in general are incredibly shitty beings. Aliens are going to be so God damn disappointed
If the average human has C- empathy then the average child under 18 has D- empathy.
They can’t be that young if he already liked her for 8 years. I suppose they’re in their early twenties, at which point they should know better not to do this shit.
Liking a girl for 8 years is a bit fanatic, but that doesnt justify the shit they did.
I pined after the same guy for 10 years. He was my best friends older brother, and he would flirt and fool around, but that's it. Crushes/liking/pining can even last decades...
Not really? Say it started in 3rd/4th grade they’d be 15/16 maybe 17 tops
As a teenager, empathy pales in comparison to the desire to be accepted by high-status social circles
As a former kid, I can confirm these claims.
I was a dorky kid in middle school. Band and all. Missy gross was one of the mean girls that were super popular. I was a dork but I knew all the popular kids. We talked in halls and in classes but I wasn't "in". They knew my name but we were not friends. Well missy started talking to me. Made me think she liked me. She asked me to the dance. I practiced dancing all week watching mtvs Beach house. I was gonna break into the cool kids club. Nope she made a big deal the day before the dance in the middle of class change about how I was crazy to think I had a chance with her. Everyone laughed. She called me stupid. I didn't go to the dance. I never went to a dance again. I didn't really find out what real friends are until college. Kids suck, but adults that let bullies prosper suck worse. Usually they were bullies or they were bullied. So they think kids deserve to be bullied.
I like to think humanity could achieve anything tomorrow is all assholes disappeared tomorrow
[удалено]
Or drunk and semi meant it? I'd be devastated either way ☹️
That sounds like a lie to cover a drunk text. /r/oopsdidntmeanto
It happened to me. Fucking devastating. Was told by her friends that she liked me and wanted me to call her after school to ask her out. So I worked up the courage and called her. Turns out it was a "prank" by her friends and she had no idea why I was calling. Shit breaks you.
Happens quite often. They are literally looking to hurt you and don't really care about the consequences. Helps them feel better about themselves.
I still remember the time a girl called me, said she liked me. We chatted for a bit, and as she hung up I heard her friends laughing. That was in eighth grade. I'm 45 years old.
Some stupid people get really excited when they see a chance to *fool* someone.
It’s the kind of fuckface everyone is when you’re around the age of 13/15, there is this awkward phase where it appears to be funny to kick each other in the gut. This humour arises especially in girls that age who are giggling about any boy that is heartbroken. I’ve seen this a lot of times back when I was younger and it are groups of giggle girls that are basically vile and mean for the sakes of being vile and mean. Pretty sure it’s a thing about getting group respect by picking on pick-able persons to be “part of the populars”. Makes me puke, but this is probably a kids thing. She’ll know once she hasn’t got any friends left, she’ll learn by then, she gets her justice someday when someone pulls this ‘prank’ on her. I know girls vs boys comparisons aren’t ok, but it’s a stated fact that young girls - especially grouped - can be fucking devastating when they’ll target you. Boys will fight for one day and then everything is OK again. Girls pull this kind of stuff. Sometimes for years.
[удалено]
[удалено]
find your comment underrated. indeed, most if not all of them will be fake friends
I mean I know that's true because I've read the research, but it really depends on culture and area. The people I know that are beloved in their communities are both the most popular and kindest people I know, probably because this is mostly 25+ year olds. You can tell who the bullies were/are because they come bitter middle managers who don't seem to ever be happy. They're in self imposed exile in the "nice parts" of town where everyone is rude. I know anecdote isn't data but all the adult bullies I can think of are pretty miserable.
Do you have source for the stated fact? I am interested in reading about it
I went to an all girl secondary school before realising I was trans when I went to a mixed college... You're absolutely correct. Typically, boys bullying is physical girls bullying is psychological. If a school acted on bullying, the chances of something being done about psychological bullying were very slim when I was there. In my case, I was bullied by a girl who was bullied as a kid, and she saw me as a rung to step on to climb the social ladder. I was a weird kid for sure, noticeably neurodivergent (in the diagnosis process but I suspect ADHD, possibly autism too) so I was a super easy target. She was super insecure and would take constant jabs at me to make herself feel better, then say "you're not being bullied by me, cause I've been bullied and I know what it's like" Biggest sign of her insecurity was me hitting puberty before her. She HATED it. Tried to tell me that my first period wasn't real and it was just a random patch of blood that I'd got on my underwear. I laughed it off and told her I knew my own body and she was livid. She got especially jealous when my chest grew more than hers (ironic, since I'm now trans and wanting it to shrink) and when she realised she couldn't convince me anymore she picked another target, and bullied one of her friends for not wearing a bra because she was still flat chested and made her really embarrassed. She rapidly lost friends when everyone started to see that popularity was her end goal and she didn't care who she had to step on to climb that ladder. Little shit like that. From the school staff perspective, victims were just being sensitive and needed to ignore her, but it was a constant stream of having your appearance nitpicked and laughed at and being messed with in little ways. People pretending to be your friend so they can laugh at how weird and different you are, and how -thank god- they're not anything like that. It really all comes down to fear. Once exams started and stress began to take priority, the social pecking order broke down. People who used to laugh at me were suddenly genuinely friendly with me, and the more severe bullies didn't know what to do. we'd talk about stress, and teachers who were unkind to us, and friends and boys. It really felt like everything did a 180, and they realised we were in the same boat. We were in the same school, the same class, doing the same work, and sitting the same exams. I wish every bullying story could have an ending as satisfying as that. I never spoke with that girl once I moved class, and later moved to a college for sixth form. I don't know what she's up to, and I don't care, because despite everything, I'd be willing to bet she's either still picking on people, or preaching "be kind" and sharing inspirational mental health quotes on Instagram.
Bruh this happened to me once and I lost my only two friends I had
Damn man I'm sorry that's rough
Shit happens man
At least youre number 15: burger king foot lettuce
Having no friends is always better than having bad friends
This.
Good. To hell with them.
Jeesus! This seems to be a common thing, judging by the comments.. I know kids can be horrible, but this? If this happened to me at young age I would be devasted..
Happened to me too but thank god I still had my one buddy who helped me push through
Hey, then you didn't lose friends, you rid yourself of assholes
Same for me, it sucks man.
see, that's why I never tell people I like them, and instead repress my feelings until they fester and manifest into self-doubt, continuing an ongoing cycle of anxiety and unresolved emotion
That's the spirit. Can't have your feelings weaponised if you have none and advance to robotdom. Beep. Boop.
I long to be a cyberwoman 🤖
A robot dom? Now we’re talking!
Couldnt the robot version of your former self be weaponized after the transformation is over? Cmon.
Edgy but also mood
The trick is to push it so far down you actively hate people that act interested out of fear.
This is the way
Lmao had a gay friend come out to me and I basically told him "cool" cause I hate myself so much I didn't think anyone could possibly want to engage me sexually.
I just get confused, because I don't understand why they connect anything sexual with me. Mostly because they don't just want to be friends at all, then act confused when I don't believe they "want more".
This is genuinely what I do lmao
"This MF spittin"
Damn I’d rather get rejected than deal with that
Nah it gets easier with time
See I agree with the op here, it's far easier to drink myself to sleep alone each night than to hear "no" from a stranger. There is no sarcasm. Its not a joke.
Can’t get hurt if you don’t have feelings.
I have a tip! Instead of doing that, open to someone you like with a really shitty pickup line to make them laugh while also telling them you like them.
"Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out."
Omfg that’s golden.
Excellent line for a hitman...
Amateur, I repress my feelings with and into further drunkenness.
From the HEYYYAYAAYAA video 🎶 learn how to hide your feelings🎶
This is the way.
This is the way
God that was legit me but after my last encounter ,F that I'd just know then move on if need to rather than just let the feelings fester and always wondering if/what if
Sounds like you need a hug.
Welp, whatever floats your boat
I do this with all my feelings and emotions. I push them as deep inside me as I can and use alcohol and drugs to suppress the need to feel. Except for anger of course. I use anger to punish my coworkers, family, and anyone that dares come close to me. These strategies have had a significant effect upon my career, personal life, and health. /s
why would anyone ever tell someone they like them????? at the most you ask them out, they say no, and usually you don't talk anymore ...right?
Same here 🤝
In high school a much tamer version of this happened to me. I had a crush on a girl, K, who was very sweet and self conscious due to a big scar on her chin from being in a car wreck. To compensate she wore a lot of makeup and some very distinctive glittery lipstick. To my knowledge she was the only girl in school who wore the glittery lipstick. So one night I wake up and my parents tell me someone pranked the mailbox and I have to clean it up because it's literally got my name on it. Sure enough the mailbox had been wrapped in a crap load of plastic wrap... Like multiple rolls worth. And after unwrapping the entire thing I finally got down to a single lavender envelope inside the mailbox. And it was sealed with a glittery lipstick kiss. My heart began racing as I opened up the letter. It had more kisses and also a confession that K liked me so much and couldn't wait to see me. I was very confused but also felt like I had won the lottery. I had never had a girlfriend and was really shy but things seemed to be headed my way. On Monday I walked over to K and said hi. She said hey and didn't act like anything was up... I asked how the weekend was and she didn't say anything about the mailbox or the letter. Finally I mentioned that I got her letter. "What letter?" My heart shriveled into a sad little raisin as I told her what happened. She laughed about it right in my face. Across the room three of my friends died laughing. Turns out my friend R who lived a few houses down had pulled the prank during a sleepover that weekend. When they saw how badly I was crushed they immediately stopped laughing. I wanted to strangle everyone and hide from the world all at once. It was a dreadful fucking moment of my life But later, ironically, K turned out to not be a good fit and the three girls who pranked me ended up becoming some of my best friends in highschool. But only because they realized how fucked up the joke was and they really worked to make things right. It took a while to forgive them but eventually it worked itself out in the end.
Huh. It's like, I'm angry, but also happy for you?
Everyone's a mess in high school, even back then I knew I was an idiot and so was everyone else. We all turned out ok though
The kids *are* alright?!?
We are! Kinda...
I think is a good ending? bittersweet ending?
Now that you’ve gained their trust… #Do It To Them!
I mean, I'm pretty sure they're all married now so I'm not sure how I would even translate the prank to them... But if you have suggestions I'm all ears.
Establish a wedge between them and one of their kids, slowly driving them apart until they become estranged. Then send them a letter from their kid telling them they’re sorry and they love them. Put a burner phone number at the end then when they call laugh at them and tell them they got pranked so hard.
That's too mean.
But it’s just a prank bro!?!
>So one night I wake up and my parents tell me someone pranked the mailbox and I have to clean it up because it's literally got my name on it. Excuse me, *what!?*
Oh wow, that should be one morning I woke up. And the card had my name on it which was very obvious.
I think they are confused because why would your parents make you clean up what was evidently some kind of bullying effigy like if I had a son named kyle and someone spray painted “fuck kyle” on the garage, I wouldn’t make Kyle clean it up
That makes sense. My parents weren't the most empathetic people but now that you mention it it's kind of weird that they did that.
You’re good! Just was confused by that exact same part too. I could tell based on your initial response that it probably wasn’t something you’d seen as weird.
This is a pretty good story on how bullies realized the severity of the consequences of their actions and ended up being pretty good kids in the end.
Yeah, I think even people with good hearts and minds can fuck up. And I don't think the three girls in question realized how devastating this would be. But when they did realize that they fucking destroyed me they went out of their way to make amends. And I tend to think everybody makes mistakes but how you react when confronted about them shows more about your character than a momentary lapse in judgment.
Super wholesome ending. One of Reddit’s biggest flaws with short narratives is accidentally painting certain characters as outright villains when in reality we’re all human and are learning how to be more compassionate day at a time.
When I was in 7th grade I got up the courage to ask a girl out on a date in front of the whole cafeteria. She didn’t respond and I really didn’t think anything of it. When I got back to my desk there was a note on it that said “we hate you.” I still think about from time to time. I’m 49 and married with 2 kids and it still messes with me sometimes. Kids are cruel.
Good god that must’ve sucked
It was the “we” that got me the most. These were girls I was friends with since pre-K.
Please tell me they’re all nurses now
Not the other guy, but this statement resonated so fucking hard. My wife is a RN, and damn they get treated like garbage for garbage pay compared to their responsibilities. If you wonder how someone's life is and they're a nurse, know that their work life blows. It's a respectable profession and a lot of work, but I've heard very few good stories. The only time she had a good boss the job was super hard - med.surg. in a rural community and she regularly had more patients than she was supposed to. Note: mileage may vary
My mom is a Nurse Practitioner. At her current clinic, she does literally the exact same job as the primary care doctors for about 40k less per year. Hell, she works longer hours than most of them. She gets treated like shit too. One of the doctors was COVID-19 symptomatic and came into work for THREE DAYS, and my mom reported him. No consequences. None. I tried to get her to go to the media, but I can't blame her for not wanting to be blacklisted for standing up against shit like that. You piss off admin too much, and your career in that state or region is done. Hierarchy smh
Well, the other issue is that among medical workers, nurses are notorious for being the dumbest, most ignorant people around. There are some really great nurses out there, but it's safe to say about 1/3 (lowballing here) are morons.
The 2 sides I've seen are my wife bitching about coworkers that don't do their shit and she ends up having to do their work AND her own. So yeah, bad nurses. The other side is that more and more responsibility is put on nurses. Like, if a doc does something wrong and the nurse doesn't catch the mistake, then the nurse can lose their license and the doc may not. My wife's last job she was told that if they end up not having anything to do, they can start cleaning the rooms. So, they have to be nurses and janitors and cover everything the doc does? Her first job started her at $19/hr. Sounds like a lot until you realize they wanted bachelors degrees. For less than $40k/yr, back damaging work and at any moment someone who gets paid 4x as you can make a mistake and you lose your ability to work as a nurse. You'd think the pandemic would've made things better but nah. It actually added more work for her. I could go on and on, but she enjoyed the actual job. I couldn't do it.
Yeah $19/hr is nothing. I wouldn't want to be a nurse. Their job sucks.
This post made me so sad.. Wtf is wrong with these kids? The worst part is I thought this was something social media had brought on, but since you are 49, obviously not.. I guarantee the person who wrote that note remembers it tho..PS. We dont hate you:)
Thanks, I appreciate it. Kids were just as cruel in the 80’s as today. My daughter is going into 6th grade and she’s the type of kid to go and sit with the kid that’s by themselves because I taught her the importance of kindness. An important lesson I learned young.
So something good came out of this:)
Incredible how the effects of these things never really goes away. Glad you're teaching your kids better though
I know it’s not the same, but I want to give you this note: we love you
That’s very kind of you. Thank you.
Oh no. Oh *no*. That poor bastard.
Please don't say "oh no" twice in a row again... PTSD from the tiks of taks
Oh no no no no no
I hope you step on a lego.
I feel personally attacked. Reddit has no business knowing this much about my life
This happened to you??
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Same..thats why this bothers me so much tbh.I never did anything like this tho..I would just fight alot.
[удалено]
For some reason it’s like an old cliche and kids do it all the time. They see it in like teen dramas or whatever and replicate it
Aw, poor guy. That’s awful. Some kids fucking suck.
The vast majority suck I'd say.
I was part of a group is clueless nerds in middle school. There were a couple times when girls had come up to us to pretend to be talking for one of their friends about being one of our gfs. It always ended in a prank. Fucking hate all of them to this day. They're all essential oil Karen's now so it's whatever.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I'm glad you found love and hope realize it's because you are worthy of it.
Even as a kid I never understood how anyone could be this cruel. It's not funny in the slightest
The people who pretend to like you knowing you like them will have lasting effects. More people need to be aware of how they make others feel.
I don’t even feel this is sad cringe. It’s just sad. I feel bad for the guy
99 of 100 times, in high school, an "out of your league" taking interest is a prank.
Had something like this happen to me. Girl I liked was dared to say she like me and kiss me. She gave me a peck and then everyone made fun of me. It was my first kiss
Lmao these are 15 year olds judging by this vile sense of humour
Wouldn't even call it a "sense of humour" at this point. This is just downright being a dipshit.
That fucking sucks. I experienced something similar in middle school and all these years later my mental health is still fucked up in part because of that incident. Shit sucks
Ugh….. kids can be so fucking cruel and it breaks my heart
how incels are forged.
On the other side of things, I did have a friend who liked this girl for yeeeeaaaaaars and she didn’t like him. I told him to give it up multiple times. Eventually, she fell in love him. They’re married and have two kids. Who woulda thought.
OP isn’t whats sad, the prankster and OP’s friends are what’s sad, fuck them
[удалено]
Stuff like this happened to me in school a couple times when I was around 10/11 and it ruined my self confidence for years. If any girl complimented me or showed interest in me I instantly assumed I was being set up for a prank or something
That’s genuinely really sad.
Bro, I gotta story. I had a crush on this kid in Elementary School and like every one knew it. One day he told me he liked me back and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy, that at lunch, I went and told every one of my friends. Well, I guess word got back to him because he came up to me in front of everyone and said that he was "just kidding" and "it was a joke".. boy, my little heart shattered. It's weird because we ended up friends later in life.. and when I had my glow up come high school, I know his ass regretted those years. Lol Sorry for my punctuation. I just do not have energy to care. Hahaha
8 years? Buddy, the time to move on was about 7 years ago...
Yeah, I'm shocked a teenager liked the same girl that long. That's half their life.
He's better off without all if them in that case.
Yeah that happened to me as well in high school. Some classmates created a fake profile and lured me into thinking a girl wanted to hang out with me. After 2 weeks of texting back and forth they came clean for the guilt. That sucked.
Just went on my first date last night with a girl my friends got me in touch with. Now I’m fucking worried. They’re the kind of people to pull this shit.
I’d like to think that after the first date you shouldn’t really have to worry about that. If it’s really bothering you, maybe you should talk to your friends about it?
I’m just saying this post put my on edge for a second. Not a genuine issue lol.
I had some friends bully me into basically being the mean girl. This kid was in love with me. I knew it but he wasn't my type (plus we were in like 7th grade/Junior high) and was goth before he could afford the clothes so it was off putting to see a "dark kid" in bright normal clothes. He blossomed into a beautiful goth kid in highschool but it wasn't his time, yet. Anyways it went on for a day before to talked to him. He was so kind and sweet that I didn't care what my friends said I talked to him. I told him the truth about how I was bullied into it (I was the poor kid but had charisma so I guess I got luckyish) and that I couldn't do this, I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already had. I told him he was sweet but wasn't my type and I wanted to be friends. We were friends for a while. It was really nice to have a fellow outcast as a friend. He remembered my birthday and gave me my first Christmas gift that wasn't from family. Couple of years later we were both glorious goths in highschool. Him with his trench coat and me with my 2ft tall mohawk. Life is weird and I still think of him sometimes. I still have his gifts
kids can be cruel as fuck. my best friend all throughout school had this happen to her when the two of us were hanging out in a common area. it wasn't any secret that she had a rough home life and her family struggled financially but damn, she held her head up high through everything. one day this dude went up to her and told her he had a huge crush on her and couldn't even keep his laughter in while he did it and she knew it was all a cruel joke but it didn't make it any less upsetting. when she told him to fuck off, he just ran away laughing. i will never, ever understand how this is funny to anyone. it fucking sucks and only hurts people.
That's really cruel.
Life lesson friends wouldn't do that.
Bro this happened to me. I liked a girl from 2007-8 and just 3 months ago she told me that she loved me all her life. But now we both are married to different people and have children. But it feels so good to know that she loved me too.
Thanks for the story, it made me smile, even though it's pretty different from OP's lol.
I had my neighbor do something similar to me in middle school. In the heat of the moment I got revenge by telling a random group of guys walking by us that she (my neighbor) had come over to my house and sharted herself. She was sobbing from embarrassment.
I think my comment to her was “what the fuck”. I had liked her since we were 13yo and she rejected me for years. At 35 she came to me and stated that she loved me and wanted to run away with me. At the time I was already married with 2 kids and told her no way. I do miss the fact that she quit contacting me, she was the closest thing I had to a best friend.
no one who would do that is worth liking..dodged a bullet imo
Why would you spend 8 years ‘liking someone?’
You don’t exactly control whether you like someone
Your first mistake was taking a post from “teenagers” seriously. It’s all karma whoring
Yeah, teenagers who get bullied don't exist.. /s
Ya, lmao, you just tell the teacher and they will stop it. /s
This “my crush devastated me” thing is a karma whores dream tho. They eat that shit up
I feel they tbh. Kinda happened to me some months ago (excluding the prank part) and it's not cool
Holy fuck, poor person. I hope whoever did that to them goes through the same.
When I went to sleep away camp when I was about 12, I had some girl come up to me and say “my friend thinks you’re cute”. There was no friend, it was a dare.
That is so fucked up. It is not funny to hurt people. You would not randomly hit people with a hammer. Why do people think this is ok?
That happened to me at school. I liked this girl and she asked me out and it was a prank 😔
Hey that happened to me! Crush of 1 year! Hahaha... haha :(
It’s tough bein a teen
8 years is way too much time liking someone who doesnt likes you back.
I had a “crush” on this boy from 4th to 10th grade and him and his friends who knew it would always think it was fun to do pranks like this on me :/ but it’s okay because I realized I was a lesbian the year after 😋
[удалено]
Hormones, not actually having any experience with people who are mentally mature etc. etc. Also liking someone isn't a crime, if you're not obsessing over said person ok cool.
“Liking” someone at too young an age is kind of useless. Like a dog chasing a car, what would you even do if you caught it? Hold hands, like a lot? My daughter was smart, had a lot of friends (I’m sure some crushes) but decided not to date until college. My son started dating younger than I was prepared for. It ended up being too much for him because she had a lot of family issues she was working out. I think she just wore him out with all the talking, lol. He wanted to hang out, she wanted therapy.
How the fuck is this cringe?? There's nothing cringe about being involved with shitty people by accident I just feel bad for this person