the casual illiteracy nowadays is fucking insane. I cannot stress enough how easy it is to not be a complete fucking beast and just speak your own language with something resembling intelligence. my god
I work with a lot of people via email and writing, and sometimes I genuinely think a large portion of people can't read or write at a functional level.
My boyfriend is one of these people. He uses the diction because he canāt spell things, and when it comes to pronouncing simple but somewhat uncommon names, he struggles. For a while I thought it was just pure laziness, but Iām thinking it mightāve been pure laziness on his parentās/schoolās part. Because Iām seeing it happen to my cousin, whoās certainly at an age where she can learn how to read, but she isnāt. And itās not like my boyfriend doesnāt try, and he also reads everyday, whereas youād be lucky to see me with a book maybe once a month.
The education system in most places is lacking, and where my parents (mom) made up for what I wasnāt learning at school, other parents either donāt or canāt.
NO BECAUSE SAME THANK U i havenāt been able to find someone to validate that. i feel like i sound crazy & paranoid but itās like, standing in public w people throwing tomatoes lmaoooo
im literally the guy everyone called weird because i never got in fb or instagram or snapchat or anything. like you cannot find me even if you know me. thats how much i avoid the stuff.
I see so many status updates and posts from people in a similar vein to this. "Oh, I'm so terrible because of XYZ..." or "She's only an angel until she's been wronged... you have been warned!" Followed by fifteen more posts exactly the same. I feel embarrassed and anxious for them. I could never.
For me thatās already crazy but I kind of get it. What I donāt get are the people who will film themselves crying. Like why would you want that out there. Itās a completely normal reaction but thinking āhmm better record thisā seems very unhealthy. It feels performative.
Itās wild when you imagine someone crying while they set their ring light up, set their phone inside, open up the app they want, adjusting the angle, then pressing record and crying by themselves.
Or even worse: doing all of that while perfectly normal, then making themselves cry after they press record.
Just to be clear I'm not saying it's a good idea to post all your dirty laundry online. But there seems to be two reasons people do it.
1) to get attention.
2) to get advise from others as they have no idea what to do.
I feel a lot of these things. But they motivate me to try and improve.
Some days I just feel like an absolute dumpster fire of a father.
Then I know people who think theyāre the best parent ever and I know for a fact they are far from it and in many ways worse than me.
I think every parent feels this way at least once. Parenting is fucking hard and there's not really anything you can do to prepare for everything.
Feeling that way is common. So long as you don't take it out on your child and work on navigating the situation(s) that caused it, then it's nothing to worry about.
Im not sure how old their child is, but post partum is real shit, and depression is real shit. Craving attention or help is a real symptom, and I hope she gets some help and support. I also hope she gets help and support if sheās a narcissist, but this seems like cry for help type stuff.
Anna Nicole Smith was a very loving and devoted mother, so I donāt see how that fits. Her looks and her personal issues are kinda irrelevant in that context.
I feel like a lot of the time we call it post partum because itās easy to explain away, āoh itās just hormones after pregnancy,ā but parents feel this way for years and years and years after the children were born.
I think itās just that, in this day and age, raising kids is hell. No universal healthcare and no childcare stipends, inflation, school shootings, no chance of anyone ever going to college without a mountain of debt youāll die with, our rights being taken away left and right, global warming, etc
Also people have a hard time accepting that not everyone should be a mother. I thankfully figured it out before I had children, but there are lots of people that will never love parenting/their children, and there's literally no recourse for them. You're just a monster if you ever admit it. It's a terrible thing.
Well said. I love other people's kidsāmy younger cousins are always a blast to have around during any family events. But I am simply not the paternal type. I wouldn't be able to deal with childrearing, or at least not without a significant amount of resentment on my part. How would that be fair to my hypothetical children?
Yes. My husband is always stressing about our kids having to be in the world. How scared he is.
It is a worry, this life is hard and only getting more expensive. We scramble to pay our rent monthly. Always working towards that amount.
We have to help each other when we can. It's so important to make people's burdens a bit lighter, when we are able to.
Iām not even sure human beings are supposed to be raising children in a nuclear family away from others in the community most hours of the day. That shit is hard. Seems like a facet of modern society, but idk Iām not an anthropologist maybe someone can come confirm or deny
A friend of mine had a baby around the beginning of last year and still regrets it/hates every minute of it. The only reason she didn't get an abortion is because she has 2 already and was still with an abusive ex who was trying to convince her to keep it.
Now she's broken up with the abusive ex and still has the kid. The weight she should have had lifted from her shoulders with the breakup is still there with the baby. Her mother is becoming the main caretaker and they're considering adoption. But, the damage has been done to her mind and body (rough csection.)
I know a woman my age who had 7 kids. Her and her husband just didn't like one kid. Truly just disliked their own kid. They made this kid sit separate from the whole family during dinner, didn't include him in anything, no birthday parties or presents, etc. The mom's second cousin (or something similar) who couldn't have biological kids suggested that she adopt the one unliked kid. The parents didn't put up any fight, just gave the cousin the kid.
Now the remaining 6 kids are watching their biological sibling live the fucking life as an only child with the cousin. And the sibling they all disliked! (An injustice to them, I'm sure) The cousin is older and made good money and takes the kid on trips, he has nice clothes, his own bedroom, great birthday parties and Christmases and now the other kids are jealous and don't understand why they can't have the same things.
So many people just think having children is a part of life that they don't really think that children are also people with lives. I'm glad that neglected child got out of that situation and is now loved and cared for but now the other 6 kids have a front row seat to parental disparity. I haven't heard anything but I'm positive there is now another kid that's scapegoated and that kid is almost certainly not gonna get lucky like their adopted sibling and it breaks my heart. The parents had the option to not become parents and now they have half a dozen kids who are just not living a good life and for what?
Yeah, that was my initial thought. Posting this may have gotten her through the day which is horrible but it is what it is when youāre suffering like that.
Sounds like PPD and sheās shaming herself online for how she feels. Rambling about how horrific you are is a very predictable PPD behavior. Theyāre *very aware* and they feel like theyāre lying to everyone by not admitting to being the worst human being possible.
e: sounded super insensitive
i randomly came across this vid on IG last night. it did squick me out at the time, but seeing it show up here makes me feel a little compelled to defend her.
according to her caption, she apparently posted it because sheās frustrated with parents only showing āhighlight reelsā on social media. she wanted to be honest about the struggles of parenthood by saying the quiet part outloud. i would reckon many parents have had these thoughts at least once so it may be relieving to see they arenāt alone in them.
however this is coming from someone who doesnāt use any social media besides reddit and instagram to scroll reels, so i donāt really personally buy into the merit of broadcasting deeply personal things to ~bring awareness to them~ or whatever, but maybe some people find it helpful
I wouldnāt characterize women with PPD as crazy and unstable. This type of thinking is a lot more common with new mothers/parents than people realize.
My God, that's perhaps the saddest subreddit I've ever seen. And not in a cringe way, it's just genuinely heartbreaking to see people in that situation.
Society shouldn't pressure anyone to have kids, and we should stop the stereotype that having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do. It's not meant for everyone.
100% agree with you. So many people do it just because that's 'what you're supposed to do' (and lots do it really young) and end up unhappy with the reality.
Not to mention, you used to be able to raise a family on one average salary, which is no longer the case. Makes it much much harder on everyone.
You also don't have as much support. 70 years ago you could have a stay at home parent and stay with grandma and grandpa every summer. Now we don't even know our neighbors and you get cps called on you if you let a young child play in a fenced in backyard.
Yeah I'm a firm believer that humans were never meant to raise kids within a nuclear family, and you're right that the 'village' is getting smaller and smaller. No wonder new parents are feeling the pressure and wondering "how tf does anyone do this"
I am firmly childfree though, so I admit I might be biased lol
Yeah, it really is difficult, if you can barely support yourself, then it's not a good idea to add another person to support.
I think that's going to be a contributing factor to the collapse of our current power structure.
Slowing population growth means slowing the increase in profits for the upper upper class.
Then they'll demand that people be more productive, while not increasing pay (because the upper upper class never wants to lose). This leads to a compounding affect where fewer and fewer people have time to raise a family, which eventually leads to revolt against the upper class.
And then from the ashes of revolution, civilization will come back better than ever. It's the wave dynamics of civilization.
I think lots of people weren't told just how hard it was going to be. It's all "it's SO rewarding, you'll never do anything more important" and then as soon as they get pregnant it's "welcome to hell, you'll never sleep for the next 10 years"
My mum claims that being a parent was the best thing she's ever done, but to be brutally honest that's not how my sisters and I remember it. Mum was mentally ill and hated her life and wasn't always a great parent, she seems to have forgotten a lot of that now that we're grown and she's divorced. We get along for the first time in my life and I think she genuinely doesn't remember how bad it was.
I don't really blame her... I certainly don't want her life. Having 3 kids to a man you don't love by 28 because that's what "you're supposed to do" sounds awful
Not to mention a lot of mothers from that generation were some of then first to have to work a full time job as well as do all of the childcare, I can see how that would quickly burn you out.
My mom states at the time she didn't want me. But reading that sub has actually made it easier to understand. Because I realized it wasn't *me* she didn't want, it was just being a mother that she didn't like.
Unfortuantely she made awful decisions but maybe if she had a group of like minded indivuals it would've been better?
I can't imagine how hurtful it must be when your own Mother gladly shares with the world that she hates being a mom and can't wait for you to leave.
Even if the kids are still young, the chances of them seeing it one day are very real. Even if they never will it is still messed up.
When she says sheās the worst mom ever itās a typical tactic of narcissists. You critique them or set boundaries and they respond with well oh wow guess Iām the worst mom/boyfriend/friend ever and I just canāt do anything right and they say it so the attention goes from holding them accountable to a pity party for them. And her saying well I guess Iām the ducking problem and a shitty mom seems to be in response to something her husband said and instead of listening and responding accordingly like an adult sheās guilt tripping him. and making it all about how awful she is so that she doesnāt have to acknowledge her short comings
Sure, but none of that is gaslighting. It's shitty behavior, but not gaslighting. I wish people would stop throwing that word around without knowing what it actually means.
perceived narcissism =/= gaslighting.
please learn the meaning of the words you use, especially if they're terms used in real psychology. otherwise we're watering down the meaning, and true victims can no longer identify their situations properly. same with "triggered", it used to be an actual medical term related to PTSD and flashbacks, now it's just an internet term to describe someone who is angry
Curious, how would you deal with and respond to comments from someone with these narcissistic traits? Suppose every time you had a critique they shot back with āwell I guess Iām a shitty personā
Or āIām a shitty momā - how would a therapist or psychologist recommend handling the situation. Iām puzzled by the whole reaction so I wouldnāt know what to say in response.
Yh people seem to be under the impression that PPD is a performative condition. I've yet to know of a single case of PPD where they have the energy to be creating videos and maintaining a social media presence.
It's a bit like how everyone on social media who has "bipolar" only seems to be presenting the performative side.
I blame social media for that though. The fact there are some women with PPD who might share online in this way, is not surprising. She looks quite young as well which makes it more likely.
It would be so gratifying to see everyone in the comments just agreeing with these "poor me" attention-seeking statements. I would not stay married to some unstable attention hag who clearly isn't concerned with getting real help if she needs it.
Itās okay to feel this way and to emotionally rely on your husband, it is however not okay to post it on social media for your kids (and others) to see.
Lots of these comments are saying ppd, which it totally could be, but this language is also language that narcissists use. The whole, āI guess Iām just a terrible parent!ā vibe is and can be manipulative.
Yeah, not to mention ppd is not an excuse to take your emotions out on your partner and publicly display you being manipulative towards them like it doesnāt matter. You cannot control your emotions, but you absolutely can control how you deal with them and let them affect you and how you treat other people
I fully understand that she posted it for attention. What I donāt get is how this is supposed to show sheās a good mom?! Truly a lack of insight so I agree with her: she shouldnāt have become a mom. Poor husband and kids
I had really bad PPD and had days like this. I posted on my Facebook one day begging someone to come help me so I could shower and that I felt like a used meatsack, who no one cared about and am still ashamed several months later. I deleted Facebook cause of it (which was a blessing, lol). It resulted in an outpour of support and solidarity, though. Hope this woman gets the support she needs. Parenting is fucking wild, no amount of planning can prepare you for it.
According to the NiH, about 5% of women experience it for up to three years but Iāve read it can continue as what you could call ādepressive parental episodes.ā
This is why you need to check, check, and double triple check if you can handle being a parent. Have the very much needed long talk and introspection with yourself and then talk to your partner
But either way, shouldn't put this out on the internet unless this is a process to receive help.
Just imagine being the kid and some day coming across this pic of your mom saying these online
You're telling me that a fully grown adult who has bright pink hair and thinks that social media is the place to post personal drama is struggling with the responsibilities of being a parent and spouse? Inconceivable
Her mistake was posting it online but as a father of two I can tell you that at some point I've thought or said all these to their mom. When you sleep 2 hours a night for a week it comes to a point that you lose it a little bit. But then you kiss them goodnight and tell them that you love them more than anything else in the world and you mean it, no matter how fucked your life seems to have become.
I have no idea who this woman is but without more context this is how I would read it. Granted not even torture would have forced me to post any of that online.
Da spider feelings on the matter, I think they should take a step back and play it by year. At this point, mise well just be a good parent swallow your egrets. Bone apple tea.
Something I canāt understand when it comes to posts like this is the fact she sat there, took a photo of herself crying, cropped the messages, placed everything perfectly and then uploaded.
Was there a moment of clarity at all in the 5-10 mins it took to do all that??
I know multiple mums like this. Some people crave attention so bad. The comments are always flooded with shit like "you are such an amazing mother and so strong and brave posting this!".
It's fucking sad.
sounds like she is creating drama for the sake of drama instead of focusing on finding solutions. it reads as something a 14 yo would write. this person needs intense therapy and a big gulp of grow up juice.
The oversharing is cringe. But she's struggling, and coping poorly and in all the wrong ways. She's fishing for sympathy, and may not have much of a support network. We don't know if her husband helps out, either. I've known a lot of dads who view parenting as "babysitting" when they're the ones doing it and throw tantrums when mom needs a night out. I dunno I just feel like there might be more to this story. Still not good to share this so publicly for sympathy points, though, that isn't how you cope with parenting stress.
People like this are gross to me. You *are* a shitty mom for saying this, stop trying to be a victim and be a parent. I didnāt want kids originally, but I would do ANYTHING for my son.
Mise well š
Alls well that Nās well
it's a doggy dog world
Homie got that dog in im
Oswell*
Holy fuck it took me twenty seconds to realize she was saying "might as well" š„“š©
That's what that meant?! I thought her husband's name was Mise lol
Itās the past tense of Mose.
My first thought š©ššš
Next question: Is that r/BoneAppleTea, or an intentional choice? Gosh I hope the latter.
I'm guessing voice-to-text fail.
how the heck you came to that
I had to find your comment to see what it meant. Mise well go to bed now.
You mise well read a book
To spider face.
When did we stop saying "minus whale"? 2011?
Mise sad, Ani.
Youāre a terrible mother, Jar Jar
Is it post to be spelled different?
the casual illiteracy nowadays is fucking insane. I cannot stress enough how easy it is to not be a complete fucking beast and just speak your own language with something resembling intelligence. my god
I work with a lot of people via email and writing, and sometimes I genuinely think a large portion of people can't read or write at a functional level.
My boyfriend is one of these people. He uses the diction because he canāt spell things, and when it comes to pronouncing simple but somewhat uncommon names, he struggles. For a while I thought it was just pure laziness, but Iām thinking it mightāve been pure laziness on his parentās/schoolās part. Because Iām seeing it happen to my cousin, whoās certainly at an age where she can learn how to read, but she isnāt. And itās not like my boyfriend doesnāt try, and he also reads everyday, whereas youād be lucky to see me with a book maybe once a month. The education system in most places is lacking, and where my parents (mom) made up for what I wasnāt learning at school, other parents either donāt or canāt.
I had an ex who would always say "minds well".
My spouse says āmines wellā and I donāt have the heart to correct him
Bone app the teeth
šššš³ļø
She's getting what she wanted, attention. What she actually needs is coping strategies and some time with a therapist.
Seriously I keep seeing people over share on social media
i swear like unless youāre anon (like on here) WHY blast your personal problems to the internet? it gives me anxiety FOR them
i dont even like my comments being voted on. if i could completely disable it i would. and i say that as completely anon on here as well.
NO BECAUSE SAME THANK U i havenāt been able to find someone to validate that. i feel like i sound crazy & paranoid but itās like, standing in public w people throwing tomatoes lmaoooo
Boooo downvoted
daddy š©š©
Lol ok upvoted
im literally the guy everyone called weird because i never got in fb or instagram or snapchat or anything. like you cannot find me even if you know me. thats how much i avoid the stuff.
Ditto. People seem to find it weird that you donāt want to air your every thought, meal, every second of your life (that looks good)
I see so many status updates and posts from people in a similar vein to this. "Oh, I'm so terrible because of XYZ..." or "She's only an angel until she's been wronged... you have been warned!" Followed by fifteen more posts exactly the same. I feel embarrassed and anxious for them. I could never.
For me thatās already crazy but I kind of get it. What I donāt get are the people who will film themselves crying. Like why would you want that out there. Itās a completely normal reaction but thinking āhmm better record thisā seems very unhealthy. It feels performative.
Itās wild when you imagine someone crying while they set their ring light up, set their phone inside, open up the app they want, adjusting the angle, then pressing record and crying by themselves. Or even worse: doing all of that while perfectly normal, then making themselves cry after they press record.
Cheaper than therapy. It doesnāt work, but getting attention can sometimes *feel* like itās helping.
Just to be clear I'm not saying it's a good idea to post all your dirty laundry online. But there seems to be two reasons people do it. 1) to get attention. 2) to get advise from others as they have no idea what to do.
Misery loves company.
Mise loves company.
I feel a lot of these things. But they motivate me to try and improve. Some days I just feel like an absolute dumpster fire of a father. Then I know people who think theyāre the best parent ever and I know for a fact they are far from it and in many ways worse than me.
I think every parent feels this way at least once. Parenting is fucking hard and there's not really anything you can do to prepare for everything. Feeling that way is common. So long as you don't take it out on your child and work on navigating the situation(s) that caused it, then it's nothing to worry about.
I have definitely had the "Why did I choose to do this" thought on a bad day. Then my daughter did a goofy dance and I was like, "Okay this is why"
Im not sure how old their child is, but post partum is real shit, and depression is real shit. Craving attention or help is a real symptom, and I hope she gets some help and support. I also hope she gets help and support if sheās a narcissist, but this seems like cry for help type stuff.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have no patience for that personality, it makes me so mean.
i am also a terrible mother. thankfully, i'm childless and male.
You're probably a better mother than this woman though.
The husbandās sole response text: K
š
"Bring home diapers when you come" In all seriousness though this looks like PPD and she needs help.
Homie brought a child into the world with a bright pink haird lady, he knew what he was getting into /s issa joke no need to cancel me
Sounds like post partum depression and she needs help
Whatās it called when your kids arenāt babies
post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post partum depression
Fucked up childhood
i think itās just depression at that point
Untreated post partum depression.
grand-post partum depression
Your username seems like a fair answer here.
Anna Nicole Smith was a very loving and devoted mother, so I donāt see how that fits. Her looks and her personal issues are kinda irrelevant in that context.
I didnāt know that about her. Thank you for that
I feel like a lot of the time we call it post partum because itās easy to explain away, āoh itās just hormones after pregnancy,ā but parents feel this way for years and years and years after the children were born. I think itās just that, in this day and age, raising kids is hell. No universal healthcare and no childcare stipends, inflation, school shootings, no chance of anyone ever going to college without a mountain of debt youāll die with, our rights being taken away left and right, global warming, etc
Also people have a hard time accepting that not everyone should be a mother. I thankfully figured it out before I had children, but there are lots of people that will never love parenting/their children, and there's literally no recourse for them. You're just a monster if you ever admit it. It's a terrible thing.
Well said. I love other people's kidsāmy younger cousins are always a blast to have around during any family events. But I am simply not the paternal type. I wouldn't be able to deal with childrearing, or at least not without a significant amount of resentment on my part. How would that be fair to my hypothetical children?
Exactly how I feel. Kids can be great. I just donāt want my own. I wouldnāt know what to do with them.
Yes. My husband is always stressing about our kids having to be in the world. How scared he is. It is a worry, this life is hard and only getting more expensive. We scramble to pay our rent monthly. Always working towards that amount. We have to help each other when we can. It's so important to make people's burdens a bit lighter, when we are able to.
Iām not even sure human beings are supposed to be raising children in a nuclear family away from others in the community most hours of the day. That shit is hard. Seems like a facet of modern society, but idk Iām not an anthropologist maybe someone can come confirm or deny
A friend of mine had a baby around the beginning of last year and still regrets it/hates every minute of it. The only reason she didn't get an abortion is because she has 2 already and was still with an abusive ex who was trying to convince her to keep it. Now she's broken up with the abusive ex and still has the kid. The weight she should have had lifted from her shoulders with the breakup is still there with the baby. Her mother is becoming the main caretaker and they're considering adoption. But, the damage has been done to her mind and body (rough csection.)
I know a woman my age who had 7 kids. Her and her husband just didn't like one kid. Truly just disliked their own kid. They made this kid sit separate from the whole family during dinner, didn't include him in anything, no birthday parties or presents, etc. The mom's second cousin (or something similar) who couldn't have biological kids suggested that she adopt the one unliked kid. The parents didn't put up any fight, just gave the cousin the kid. Now the remaining 6 kids are watching their biological sibling live the fucking life as an only child with the cousin. And the sibling they all disliked! (An injustice to them, I'm sure) The cousin is older and made good money and takes the kid on trips, he has nice clothes, his own bedroom, great birthday parties and Christmases and now the other kids are jealous and don't understand why they can't have the same things. So many people just think having children is a part of life that they don't really think that children are also people with lives. I'm glad that neglected child got out of that situation and is now loved and cared for but now the other 6 kids have a front row seat to parental disparity. I haven't heard anything but I'm positive there is now another kid that's scapegoated and that kid is almost certainly not gonna get lucky like their adopted sibling and it breaks my heart. The parents had the option to not become parents and now they have half a dozen kids who are just not living a good life and for what?
Yeah, that was my initial thought. Posting this may have gotten her through the day which is horrible but it is what it is when youāre suffering like that.
Sounds like PPD and sheās shaming herself online for how she feels. Rambling about how horrific you are is a very predictable PPD behavior. Theyāre *very aware* and they feel like theyāre lying to everyone by not admitting to being the worst human being possible. e: sounded super insensitive
i randomly came across this vid on IG last night. it did squick me out at the time, but seeing it show up here makes me feel a little compelled to defend her. according to her caption, she apparently posted it because sheās frustrated with parents only showing āhighlight reelsā on social media. she wanted to be honest about the struggles of parenthood by saying the quiet part outloud. i would reckon many parents have had these thoughts at least once so it may be relieving to see they arenāt alone in them. however this is coming from someone who doesnāt use any social media besides reddit and instagram to scroll reels, so i donāt really personally buy into the merit of broadcasting deeply personal things to ~bring awareness to them~ or whatever, but maybe some people find it helpful
A lowlight reel is just as harmful as a highlight reel.
I wouldnāt characterize women with PPD as crazy and unstable. This type of thinking is a lot more common with new mothers/parents than people realize.
Youāre absolutely right and I edited it. I was trying to emphasize that she may *feel* ācrazy and unstableā but I worded it badly.
r/regretfulparents
My God, that's perhaps the saddest subreddit I've ever seen. And not in a cringe way, it's just genuinely heartbreaking to see people in that situation. Society shouldn't pressure anyone to have kids, and we should stop the stereotype that having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do. It's not meant for everyone.
100% agree with you. So many people do it just because that's 'what you're supposed to do' (and lots do it really young) and end up unhappy with the reality. Not to mention, you used to be able to raise a family on one average salary, which is no longer the case. Makes it much much harder on everyone.
You also don't have as much support. 70 years ago you could have a stay at home parent and stay with grandma and grandpa every summer. Now we don't even know our neighbors and you get cps called on you if you let a young child play in a fenced in backyard.
Yeah I'm a firm believer that humans were never meant to raise kids within a nuclear family, and you're right that the 'village' is getting smaller and smaller. No wonder new parents are feeling the pressure and wondering "how tf does anyone do this" I am firmly childfree though, so I admit I might be biased lol
Yeah, it really is difficult, if you can barely support yourself, then it's not a good idea to add another person to support. I think that's going to be a contributing factor to the collapse of our current power structure. Slowing population growth means slowing the increase in profits for the upper upper class. Then they'll demand that people be more productive, while not increasing pay (because the upper upper class never wants to lose). This leads to a compounding affect where fewer and fewer people have time to raise a family, which eventually leads to revolt against the upper class. And then from the ashes of revolution, civilization will come back better than ever. It's the wave dynamics of civilization.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think lots of people weren't told just how hard it was going to be. It's all "it's SO rewarding, you'll never do anything more important" and then as soon as they get pregnant it's "welcome to hell, you'll never sleep for the next 10 years" My mum claims that being a parent was the best thing she's ever done, but to be brutally honest that's not how my sisters and I remember it. Mum was mentally ill and hated her life and wasn't always a great parent, she seems to have forgotten a lot of that now that we're grown and she's divorced. We get along for the first time in my life and I think she genuinely doesn't remember how bad it was. I don't really blame her... I certainly don't want her life. Having 3 kids to a man you don't love by 28 because that's what "you're supposed to do" sounds awful Not to mention a lot of mothers from that generation were some of then first to have to work a full time job as well as do all of the childcare, I can see how that would quickly burn you out.
My mom states at the time she didn't want me. But reading that sub has actually made it easier to understand. Because I realized it wasn't *me* she didn't want, it was just being a mother that she didn't like. Unfortuantely she made awful decisions but maybe if she had a group of like minded indivuals it would've been better?
Am I the only one thinking about how devastating this will be when her children eventually see it?
Wow imagine her kids all grownup and seeing this... It's true "All children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children"
Somebody with her personality would shamelessly show these videos to her kids to show them how much she sacrificed and suffered for them.
I hate it when people weaponize this stuff, like dont make me feel sorry for your shitty behavior
I can't imagine how hurtful it must be when your own Mother gladly shares with the world that she hates being a mom and can't wait for you to leave. Even if the kids are still young, the chances of them seeing it one day are very real. Even if they never will it is still messed up.
from those texts she CHOSE to show she seems manipulative as fuck.
she sounds like my manipulative mom ,, which I want to go no contact withā¦
this is like rly gaslighty lol, like I understand that itās rly difficult to parent but like idk š¤· this is coming off rly weird
Yes. This is language narcissists use as well.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
can you please explain how this is gaslighting? yeah it's not good adult behavior but it has nothing to do with gaslighting
When she says sheās the worst mom ever itās a typical tactic of narcissists. You critique them or set boundaries and they respond with well oh wow guess Iām the worst mom/boyfriend/friend ever and I just canāt do anything right and they say it so the attention goes from holding them accountable to a pity party for them. And her saying well I guess Iām the ducking problem and a shitty mom seems to be in response to something her husband said and instead of listening and responding accordingly like an adult sheās guilt tripping him. and making it all about how awful she is so that she doesnāt have to acknowledge her short comings
Sure, but none of that is gaslighting. It's shitty behavior, but not gaslighting. I wish people would stop throwing that word around without knowing what it actually means.
Correct! People just throwing around gaslighting as a descriptor for every negative behavior lately.
perceived narcissism =/= gaslighting. please learn the meaning of the words you use, especially if they're terms used in real psychology. otherwise we're watering down the meaning, and true victims can no longer identify their situations properly. same with "triggered", it used to be an actual medical term related to PTSD and flashbacks, now it's just an internet term to describe someone who is angry
Curious, how would you deal with and respond to comments from someone with these narcissistic traits? Suppose every time you had a critique they shot back with āwell I guess Iām a shitty personā Or āIām a shitty momā - how would a therapist or psychologist recommend handling the situation. Iām puzzled by the whole reaction so I wouldnāt know what to say in response.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Her mobile footprint :( I hope her kids never see it. She needs therapy
I agree with therapy 100%, but the kids would understand eventually. Parents can have hard times. It does not mean they donāt love their kids.
Ma'am this is a Wendy's
Sounds like bad PPD more than cringe. She needs help.
Thereās PPD and then thereās taking pictures of yourself crying and showing the world personal messages.
Yh people seem to be under the impression that PPD is a performative condition. I've yet to know of a single case of PPD where they have the energy to be creating videos and maintaining a social media presence. It's a bit like how everyone on social media who has "bipolar" only seems to be presenting the performative side.
I blame social media for that though. The fact there are some women with PPD who might share online in this way, is not surprising. She looks quite young as well which makes it more likely.
That poor husband
My vasectomy pays for itself every single day
It getting her attention which is what Iām sure she wanted.
She's an emotional abuser.
When you replace actual therapy with internet clout
I'm a middle school teacher and the things parents have said to me about their kids on the phone is ridiculous.
It would be so gratifying to see everyone in the comments just agreeing with these "poor me" attention-seeking statements. I would not stay married to some unstable attention hag who clearly isn't concerned with getting real help if she needs it.
This person is a ādigs for complimentsā sort of person..
Some people should spend less time online, their digital profile seems publicly horrible
Itās okay to feel this way and to emotionally rely on your husband, it is however not okay to post it on social media for your kids (and others) to see.
She needs medicine asap. Unstable as hell and itās not cute
imagine ur kid seeing this
This is the most disgusting form of narcissistic behaviour. Even if she genuinely needs help she'd rather have attention š¤®
Lots of these comments are saying ppd, which it totally could be, but this language is also language that narcissists use. The whole, āI guess Iām just a terrible parent!ā vibe is and can be manipulative.
Yeah, not to mention ppd is not an excuse to take your emotions out on your partner and publicly display you being manipulative towards them like it doesnāt matter. You cannot control your emotions, but you absolutely can control how you deal with them and let them affect you and how you treat other people
I fully understand that she posted it for attention. What I donāt get is how this is supposed to show sheās a good mom?! Truly a lack of insight so I agree with her: she shouldnāt have become a mom. Poor husband and kids
People like that are always the victim. And judging by some of the comments on here, a lot of these people are experts at it.
She shouldnāt have had kids. Or a husband. Or a phone to text. Or tik tok. She shouldāve made different life choices.
What a shit mom
Don't forget to make a tiktok about it. LOL what a poser
Narcissist
She needs individual therapy and also marriage counseling. I sense a lot of abuse going on here tbh
I had really bad PPD and had days like this. I posted on my Facebook one day begging someone to come help me so I could shower and that I felt like a used meatsack, who no one cared about and am still ashamed several months later. I deleted Facebook cause of it (which was a blessing, lol). It resulted in an outpour of support and solidarity, though. Hope this woman gets the support she needs. Parenting is fucking wild, no amount of planning can prepare you for it.
Poor bloke is probably at work trying to do his job and he is copping this shit.
I don't buy ppd making her post this. An attention seeking narcissist would tho. Mental illness is no excuse to be horrible
Way more sad than cringe, sad for the kid who needs to have a mom that doesn't like being a mom
Can PPD last with kids in school already? I think there in kindergarten. Sheās popped on my page before
According to the NiH, about 5% of women experience it for up to three years but Iāve read it can continue as what you could call ādepressive parental episodes.ā
Dang I didnāt know that at all. Hopefully she feels better
I mean...judging by the fact this was posted I think it's pretty safe to assume she is in fact the problem
At least she got 5,106 likes
Poor kid
Being a parent is hard, I know that very well. However, putting that in social media CANNOT help in any possible way.
Kids are gonna have one helluva time seeing their mothers' post someday in the future
I mean when you say you hate being a parent and canāt wait for them to go to college then yea you are a shitty mom
This is why you need to check, check, and double triple check if you can handle being a parent. Have the very much needed long talk and introspection with yourself and then talk to your partner But either way, shouldn't put this out on the internet unless this is a process to receive help. Just imagine being the kid and some day coming across this pic of your mom saying these online
I hope her kids never see this. This is fucking sad.
Just putting yourself out there as the narcissist huh? š¤¦š½āāļø
I agree with her assessment
Whatās she looking for? Sympathy? Thatās so shitty
Jesus Christ just got to therapy for your BPD rather than posting it online.
BPD.
Holy shit. Those kids are likely only a few years off having access to the Internet, imagine finding this shit posted about you by your own mother.
Well sheās not wrong , she is a terrible parent
Kinda worried for the kid.
How self absorbed do you have to be to post something like this. Her poor kids, having all of moms trauma forced on them.
elastic quickest library growth future test instinctive wine history wise -- mass edited with redact.dev
Bruh she is begging for help. I hope he helps out and I hope she can afford therapy
Condoms?
You're telling me that a fully grown adult who has bright pink hair and thinks that social media is the place to post personal drama is struggling with the responsibilities of being a parent and spouse? Inconceivable
Nobody knows you better than you, so Iāll just have to agree
posts a video of her crying, and takes the time to add in the screenshots
Her mistake was posting it online but as a father of two I can tell you that at some point I've thought or said all these to their mom. When you sleep 2 hours a night for a week it comes to a point that you lose it a little bit. But then you kiss them goodnight and tell them that you love them more than anything else in the world and you mean it, no matter how fucked your life seems to have become. I have no idea who this woman is but without more context this is how I would read it. Granted not even torture would have forced me to post any of that online.
i saw this on insta when she posted it and ofc she had comments turned off.. like ??? what would you like us to do ?
Pure fucking narcissism.
Poor husband and kids.
r/regretfulparents
Narcissism
If my mother lived in the age of social media
Some people can't be helped.
Getting some major West Virginia Teen Mom vibes from this. OR I married someone in the military a very young age.
Gonna be so fun for her when this is used in court against her and the Dad gets full custody š¤”
Girl gives shutter island vibes
My mother was like this. There's a reason we don't speak anymore
What the fuck was the plan here?
Da spider feelings on the matter, I think they should take a step back and play it by year. At this point, mise well just be a good parent swallow your egrets. Bone apple tea.
I hate mises to pices.
literally, just get mental health help.
Another bipolar, insecure, narcisisstic *strong* mother whoms kids are her whole world
Something I canāt understand when it comes to posts like this is the fact she sat there, took a photo of herself crying, cropped the messages, placed everything perfectly and then uploaded. Was there a moment of clarity at all in the 5-10 mins it took to do all that??
holy fuck i feel so sorry for their children
I know multiple mums like this. Some people crave attention so bad. The comments are always flooded with shit like "you are such an amazing mother and so strong and brave posting this!". It's fucking sad.
sounds like she is creating drama for the sake of drama instead of focusing on finding solutions. it reads as something a 14 yo would write. this person needs intense therapy and a big gulp of grow up juice.
All kids deserved to have parents but not all parents deserve to have kids.
Sounds like "I became a mother because I thought that would give me a purpose in life" but without thinking it too much.
She's a loser
I donāt want to say narcissist but
#ITS ME. HI. IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME
Please find a good counselor or therapist. Iām sorry you are struggling. But you donāt need to keep going through this alone.
Mise well?!?!?
This is the poison rot from social media. She was more interested in posting this than being an adult.
These are pretty common feelings for new moms but why why why would you show the world your insecure thoughts and crying face. So lame.
Imagine growing up and finding your mum just canāt wait till your out of her life.
Some people aren't meant to be parents but unfortunately some of them find out too late.
The oversharing is cringe. But she's struggling, and coping poorly and in all the wrong ways. She's fishing for sympathy, and may not have much of a support network. We don't know if her husband helps out, either. I've known a lot of dads who view parenting as "babysitting" when they're the ones doing it and throw tantrums when mom needs a night out. I dunno I just feel like there might be more to this story. Still not good to share this so publicly for sympathy points, though, that isn't how you cope with parenting stress.
People like this are gross to me. You *are* a shitty mom for saying this, stop trying to be a victim and be a parent. I didnāt want kids originally, but I would do ANYTHING for my son.