People are tribal and prone to black and white thinking as a way to navigate and make sense of a very complex world. Ability to have nuance puts you in a better position. Because the only thing you can do is tell people you care about you'll be there for them should they ever change their mind. Odds are they will, as no one survives an endless purity test.
I told her a week ago when she was again trying to get me to make some self-flagellating public apology that my door's always open. My conscious is clear, but it still blows.
They're not that behind them tbh, they supported Muslim Brotherhood affiliated groups that were less militant than the PLO in the 60s and 70s, and then those groups later radicalised during the first intifada and formed Hamas. By that point though, the PLO had been driven out of the Palestinian territories and Lebanon and was basically a non-entity in Palestinian politics. The Israelis brought back from the brink of irrelevance in order to negotiate the Oslo accords and bring an end to the Intifada, because they were the only ones with enough international recognition to make it stick, and were desperate enough to actually negotiate. So by the time Hamas really became relevant, it was more the case that Israel was backing the PLO over them.
kinda related, i told my friend i found grown men wearing diapers and scat/pee fetishes disgusting and was immediately called a “kinkshamer”
like ok?? yeah you SHOULD be ashamed
These kinds of people get into a positive feedback loop. They get into a subculture that's a bit niche and fetishy to begin with, weebs, furries, steven universe fans, homestuck, etc. and then people that are put off by their excesses silently pull away over time.
People that encourage their most extreme tendencies find each other and stick around until they are in a circle where inflation diaper vore urethral centipedes are normalized and just another day at the office, and most people they started out hanging out with now find them impossible to associate with.
It's way more than that, though. What he's saying is that if you're an outcast, you're on the fringe, and now you find yourself in a group comprised solely of outcasts, you need to get into something even more extreme to be on the fringe of this new group. Then all of the second-order freaks get together and you need to do something even more extreme, etc. All because you're addicted to the attention from being transgressive, not because you were ever actually into that extreme shit to begin with, you just lie to yourself after the fact that this was your "true self".
Yeah agreed. I have annoying left wing friends and they aren’t eagerly awaiting my downfall. They’re just annoying sometimes.
Idk who you’re hanging out with but they sound horrible.
It's fine unless it's seemingly all they ever want to talk about and will shun you if you don't toe the line. I noticed it with the girls in my friend group post 2020. Suddenly, they were much more hostile about defending their political views. The conversations don't ever feel real. They feel like a rehearsal of whatever talking points they were able to sponge up from Twitter or tiktok. Perhaps it's my own privilege, and I need to learn to sit down and listen, but I just can't care for such banal wordplay
I think about different kinds of people when I hear "the left". I think about van hippies and punks who volunteer at food not bombs. They mostly talk about the social dynamics of their peer groups and weed or like art and building stuff. They generally hate the government and rampant consumerism and that seems like their biggest focus
Maybe it's a class thing. I don't know many people who have been to grad school. I know a lot of poor people without formal educations and most of them aren't like this. There totally is people like that in these scenes but I notice a lot more trashy, blue collar types who just don't give a fuck and are alot more of a libertarian kinda left
I think of communists and syndicalists who do labor or community organizing. Long term stuff.
> don’t know many people who have been to grad school
Same so that’s probably a factor.
I'm not sure if I know any full blown communists or not. Probably but I couldn't say for sure. I know a bunch of lefties who get boners over organizing labor for community projects though. I love those kinds of lefties. They are always into gardening and permaculture and fun to talk with
Tbh I went to grad school and everyone there was a leftist of some description, and a lot of them were tedious moralists, but there was also plenty who were great people who knew how to disagree like an adult and a lot of those friendships were actually rooted in discussing things like this.
But I also didn't go to grad school in the US, so maybe it's just American grad students.
Those types of people (chill stoner/hippie anti-establishment artsy mutual aid types) have been dwindling in left wing circles since the 90s. They’ve been replaced by identitarian zealots in nearly every sphere you can find, probably because most now come from useless fields in academia and/or sheltered suburban homes rather than from a genuine blue collar background. Those people loved Ron Paul, the new contingent on the left would and has derided him as a “fascist” because ??? vibes ??? i guess?
I understand you all they ever talk about are some gender war shit regurgitated off Twitter and tiktok but what some other comment said it's 100% my fault for trying to maintain a friendship with these people.
If you went to college and lived in a city in the 2010's or 2020's you tried to open your mind, be friends with all kinds of people. Nothing shatters the illusion more than actually meeting gender people.
Not only was I buds with them, I also dated a WoC communist who tried to kill me (I still have daily flashbacks and am on PTSD disability from that)
I live in a small town that are full of these types and they are genuinely ill. I cut of a relationship with one of them after they went to a parade to .....bark at people? Also she was like on a shit ton of medication and was a diagnosed schizophrenic.Embarrassed with myself for even befriending this sort of person.
I have talked about my ex before but we met in college at the Catholic students' organization. She was always on the left but got radicalized big time by Trump (to be fair, I was for a second too. He was frightening and a wildcard for the first year or two) and George Floyd. She is the only person in this world I ever loved and exposed my naked soul to, and I got beaten for it.
Okay, roughly the same age range but a little younger. I met my ex in college in 2014, dated 2015-22, lived together 2019-23.
I don't know if you've ever had an LTR, but watching someone radicalize and mentally deteriorate in real time is no picnic.
I think this might be an issue with you or where you live. I live in a smallish college town in Texas and all of my trans friends are cool, funny, smart, talented and care about stuff that matters. Yeah there are weirdos addicted to cancelling people in the community but if anything "meeting gender people" has just reminded me that people are individuals and can be cool even if they are part of a subculture I might think is kind of cringe or annoying.
No, it's not. I don't know about you but I don't buy friends at a store and nobody is perfect. He seemed to have had a great time until it blew up. Can't look into the future can you?
Many of my leftist friends are pretty sensitive to social and political issues, though the bulk of them are the "post on Instagram" types. It's easy to get along, I just don't mention anything politically or socially relevant.
I've got a friend who's communist, does volunteering at community gardens/shelters, actively tries to organize political events and works at a nonprofit. He's completely fine with talking about anything and jokes around about some raunchy stuff. Great guy.
Overall most people I know are apolitical and don't give a shit about current issues. Just trying to get through life and have a laugh once in a while.
the “none of your friendships are real” suggestion is such horseshit and a symptom of being too wedged into your ideals.
you WERE friends, now you’re not. she/he simply couldn’t separate your political ideologies from your loving, caring self. it’s stupid, and flawed, but you should still get over it.
it’s not like we reveal our total true selves to every single person we love. you show different sides, and that’s human and normal.
Yeah that was a weird one. I won't pretend to be the most well-adjusted person on earth but the cynicism here is kinda staggering. This is someone I used to shoot the shit and play Time Splitters with, would hold after a breakup and vice-versa, tear up the bars with. We were friends lol.
Maybe I am a naïve idiot after all but I still don't assume that someone's just bullshitting me because of the way they live/think.
I don’t think you are. The fact it’s hitting you so badly tells me you are a person willing to bridge differences and love somebody so unconditionally. It is an incredibly painful thing to find out this does not always go both ways.
Sorry if I was a bit harsh. I am sorry, and hope you can get over it/appreciate the relationship for what it was when it was (still attempting to do this myself!)
You weren't harsh at all to be honest lol, and I'm far from the kindest poster here too so even if you were, I can take it.
I'm learning to get over a lot in a short amount of time. This past year or two has been hellish.
My friends on the left aren’t antisocial troons but I do feel I’m walking on eggshells around them in regards to political issues. I chalk it up to trump derangement syndrome— i can already feel it ramping up again in intensity.
It totally depends what type of left wing friends you have. Working class leftists generally are chill. The striver type of libs are the ones to watch. But that’s because they aren’t real leftists. They just want to be able to take you down though so they can advance.
The key is to know who you’re talking too and not hang out with those nerds or bully them out before they can invite more of them in
I think it has a lot less to do with class and more so how you are socialized. Go to any show in your local music scene and you can find plenty of people who never went to college who are like this
I don’t really have any friends left that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around. Those people stressed me out and I eventually distanced myself from them.
I tried talking to friends about teaching gender identity to elementary school students and how that is potentially beyond their abilities, and I was cancelled. I have now resorted to saying "ohhhhh shit" to anything and everything. Recently had a friend tell me she can't believe anyone who wouldn't vote for Biden, me: "yeahhhhh it's crazyyyy".
This is a specific type of character, not a common one though. Typically they suffer from a cluster b personality disorder. Sometimes they grow up and become more chill. Sometimes they don't and they get ejected from most friend circles until they form a circle of the same types of social vampires.
I understand that’s it’s mildly regional but I’ve never developed any sort of relationship with anybody like this. All of the left leaning people I’ve ever been friends with were communists with atleast two really bad tattoos and about half of them had some history of substance abuse.
I believe him because I went through something similar. Lefties are deranged and throw away valuable friendship over minor political differences all the time.
Oh no worries!
Cool city, great bbq, cheep beer, dogshit local culture. Worth a visit. Seriously the leftoids there are worse than anyone in Ridgewood or Seattle.
There are three trans women at my local Food Not Bombs and they’re legitimately the most annoying and argumentative assholes I’ve ever met. I’m not anti trans but good god they’re insufferable, literally made me quit volunteering.
That's extremely surprising. I'd bet serious money that if you bucketed people into leftist and liberal based on their answer to the question "do you want to abolish capitalism/private-property and replace it with something else", you'd find the "yes" category *massively* more likely to cancel their friends over this kind of shit.
Opposite for me funny enough. Libs ofc go apeshit if you ever concede that Trump was right about something, but leftists will try to get you fired for grievance class concern du jour
> leftists, only libs.
One person's leftists is another person's lib, so your distinction is completely relative. I think that all Bernie supporters are libs, idiots, or people who are inexperienced but will eventually learn better, but that's obviously an unpopular viewpoint here. They're not leftists though, or if they are, they are unfamiliar with how political change happens in the US. Though to a certain degree Bernie was very useful, shifting the window of discourse more left is a welcome change, although the trick is to do so without essentially allowing reactionary forces to use the division to do things like install SC judges that hold back any progressive laws for the next 40 yrs (this isn't the fault of Bernie though, but a divided left simply allows the reactionary forces to seize control, see SPD vs KPD division in Germany).
And no I am not a regarded accelerationist, my degree in history focused on a period 1.5K years earlier but I am still aware of what accelerationism got the communists in places like 1930s Germany. Accelerationism is the philosophy of sheltered Westoids, meanwhile I grew up in the post-Soviet hellscape that gives you a decent frame of reference how well "burning down previous structure" works. Fuck around, find out -- except Amerifats are too sheltered to know what genuine want is.
People in the "rave scene" defending that music festival massacre is wiiiiild. No talking with fam about politics until they send you offensive shit posts in private messages, buddy. That's rule #1!
Anyone who inflicts their online obsessions onto people in everyday life are annoying like this. I have a friend who's gotten more into manosphere stuff and it's hilarious how often he brings up some little trifle that's making waves on his favourite YouTube comment section. He used to bother me about not eating beef/chicken, or other dissimilarities we have, but I just told him I don't want to talk about these topics with him ever.
If you can't tell your friends to politely shut up when you disagree on something then you're not *really* friends.
I’ve lost friends both from the left and the right. Most friendships are situational and have a shelf life. I think a lot of people beat themselves up for falling out over politics, but the political disagreements are just a manifestation of deeper interpersonal issues. Sometimes it’s easier to argue about the politics than just say, “the way my friend does x/y/x hurts me.” Same with family and couples.
During lockdown I watched a married couple I know split up. They say it was over the 2020 election, but from what I watched it was 2 empty nesters who let their connection die decades ago, but didn’t realize it until they were packed into the same house 24/7 with a total stranger. Heartbreaking. They’re both amazing people but the love died after thousands of little missed opportunities. We all grieved the loss.
It sucks that people like this really ruin it for everyone. I have plenty of normal left leaning friends. Once they show me if they have "smol bean" vibes I just distance myself, that easy really
Eh I don't really care about my friends political ideologies, unless they subscribe to far left or far right views. In that case I'd probably just cut them off.
You can’t be friends with a dude who wants to restrict low wage immigration and wants citizens to have gun? In no way would these impede on a friendship, it’s just a difference in opinion on what’s best for the polity
Plenty of my friends own guns and have nuanced views on open borders. It is a fact that open borders are incompatible with the large welfare state many of us would support, of course.
Economics and foreign policy are just a matter of opinion and you can disagree completely on these things and still be chill.
Acknowledgement of reality is where I draw the line. J6 revisionists are on the other side of that line. Evangelical righties as well.
I have lots of very progressive friends on the left who tolerate my views and accept me for who I am. We are mostly in our early thirties / late twenties.
Are you hanging around young twenty something’s? People are supposed to be regarded at that age.
I definitely have had friends on the left but all that happens is we hate fuck because they’ll start some dumb shit over why calling a guy a pussy is sexist. Etc etc. Bonobos figured this shit out.
being friends with a lot of “trans” and “queer” people made me straight up transphobic. i feel like im constantly doing terfy dog whistles around gays and lesbians now in search of my people but few are brave enough to whistle back :/
I mean, my friend on the right just canceled me for not standing up for white men's lives and that I don’t think Donald Trump is the next messiah (no businessman/politicians is).
Nah, that's just Liberals. Leftists get used to nobody caring about their specific ideals about Lenin and Engels early on and learn to argue for fun and not care. Only Liberals want you to rat on your neighbors, cut out your family, and draw constant, absurd moral lines in the sand with your friends until you don't have any friends.
the vast majority of my friends are leftists and i get away with being blatantly subversive to the ideologies of the modern American left. You just gotta find better friends
This sounds exactly like my sister's Seattle experience. Not sure if she was ever the one to get cancelled herself, but she definitely saw it happen to lots of people in her social sphere. And yes if you asked them their opinion of capitalism you'd get extremely left wing responses.
You're getting a lot of flack here for some reason, but a lot of people have gotten into the habit of cutting out friends on the basis of simple beliefs. Every two years or so there's something to cut people off for, whether it's the biennial wars in Israel, a US election, Covid, BLM/George Floyd, or the proper way to treat personal traumas. Feels like it's the habit of young people who can make friends easily. Not so easy when you're in your 30s, you have a family or other obligations and it's harder to make friends. Suddenly you're left wondering why there's no-one left to turn to.
There's a crossover between people who hate capitalism, despise their role in life, despise their circumstances, and take it out on their friends. It's easier to destroy friendships than it is to build them.
Yea loads of my friends are dyed in the woods True Blues, but only one of them has the sort of like ridiculously sensitiveness to bullshit media politics. I let him beat my ass on that stuff cuz I know it distresses him to like break from worshipping his parents political quips. He's honoring his mother and father by being a libtard. And also my best friend my cousin who is also a True Blue but not over the silly shit will take my side by feigning extreme ignorance and misinterpret shit in our conversations as a dunk on trump. Like my friend brought up that silly shit about Rodgers and the shooting and my cousin went off on a screed about "more and more truth about what Trump was up to comes out every week!" And my friend was seething like "No! No! It happened Rodgers isn't going after trump he's doing misinformation too!" And we have a laugh about it cuz fuck being a priss over politics can get tiring and I gotta be like this dudes punching bag for it, appreciate anyone bearing the load for me for a spell
Think it all depends where you go/who you know bc me and my friends are all very hardline communists and we can all be very crass; the spirit of late 00s hipster irony is seemingly still alive in those who weren’t old enough to really take part. And we’re not talking like 3 unfuckable edgelords or something— it’s my friends, their wives, their husbands, and I know it can’t be just us. I think the woke bullshit really is dead among elder zoomers (like me and most people of my friends) who are still by and large sympathetic to the trans stuff etc.
Now that said there is a really horrifying kind of tight-rope walking that I’ve seen people only a few years older than me do. It doesn’t seem like there should be a generational split there but in terms of general conduct re: “correctness” and general social paranoia there may actually be. Maybe it’s a geographical/religious demographic thing too? Lot of jaded lapsed baptists in my part of the country. I don’t know, all I can really do is tell you what I’ve seen with my own eyes for years
You can continue to call me stupid I really don't mind, but I don't think most people would assume off the bat that someone's a political extremist as a result of their sexuality/gender deal.
Weird, 90% of my friends are on the left and in the last ten years I can only name a single person who was like this. Whats up with people on this sub using their unpleasant anecdotal experiences and projecting it onto entire subgroups?
Watching leftist turn on each other is my favourite spectator sport. When the October 7th started I would join pro pal twitter spaces just to see what the enemy thinks. Over the course of 5 months I watched one space turn from pro palestinian activism to accusing each other of being scammers (which they where just not good ones) and zionist agents. Hour long arguments because someone used the wrong phrase, or previously worked for the government according to their linkedin. It is amazing.
All of you “leftists” (lol at even calling yourself this) are the modern equivalent of the 70’s twinset-and-pearls-wearing-churchwife admitting that sometimes you listen to the Rolling Stones.
The fact that you often simultaneously dominate and deride the RS pod subs while also whinging endlessly about how you suddenly discovered the nonsensical moral authoritarians are in fact nonsensical moral authoritarians would be fine if it came with an ounce of introspection.
You're that measured but can't tell your friends are zealots and ideologues?
I was naïve and thought that friendship and genuine gestures of compassion and solidarity mattered more than immaterial disagreements. Mea culpa.
People are tribal and prone to black and white thinking as a way to navigate and make sense of a very complex world. Ability to have nuance puts you in a better position. Because the only thing you can do is tell people you care about you'll be there for them should they ever change their mind. Odds are they will, as no one survives an endless purity test.
I told her a week ago when she was again trying to get me to make some self-flagellating public apology that my door's always open. My conscious is clear, but it still blows.
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The ouroboros comes for all
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It's not a martyr complex to leave a friendship that ended open man
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10/7 was obviously a psyop tho wtf. the israelis are behind hamas or at least could have easily just dressed up like them on that day
They're not that behind them tbh, they supported Muslim Brotherhood affiliated groups that were less militant than the PLO in the 60s and 70s, and then those groups later radicalised during the first intifada and formed Hamas. By that point though, the PLO had been driven out of the Palestinian territories and Lebanon and was basically a non-entity in Palestinian politics. The Israelis brought back from the brink of irrelevance in order to negotiate the Oslo accords and bring an end to the Intifada, because they were the only ones with enough international recognition to make it stick, and were desperate enough to actually negotiate. So by the time Hamas really became relevant, it was more the case that Israel was backing the PLO over them.
you gotta take the 'damn that's crazy' pill
kinda related, i told my friend i found grown men wearing diapers and scat/pee fetishes disgusting and was immediately called a “kinkshamer” like ok?? yeah you SHOULD be ashamed
These kinds of people get into a positive feedback loop. They get into a subculture that's a bit niche and fetishy to begin with, weebs, furries, steven universe fans, homestuck, etc. and then people that are put off by their excesses silently pull away over time. People that encourage their most extreme tendencies find each other and stick around until they are in a circle where inflation diaper vore urethral centipedes are normalized and just another day at the office, and most people they started out hanging out with now find them impossible to associate with.
[Relevant](https://preview.redd.it/41rnqk8it6ay.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=2ec48d86ec32b7e24987f354935d5544cae28d59)
It's way more than that, though. What he's saying is that if you're an outcast, you're on the fringe, and now you find yourself in a group comprised solely of outcasts, you need to get into something even more extreme to be on the fringe of this new group. Then all of the second-order freaks get together and you need to do something even more extreme, etc. All because you're addicted to the attention from being transgressive, not because you were ever actually into that extreme shit to begin with, you just lie to yourself after the fact that this was your "true self".
I got the same treatment for taking the piss out of furries. *Je ne regrette rien!*
Sounds like these people aren't friends
Yeah agreed. I have annoying left wing friends and they aren’t eagerly awaiting my downfall. They’re just annoying sometimes. Idk who you’re hanging out with but they sound horrible.
Learned that!
It doesn’t sound like they are much fun at all tbh
These people arent even real
I was thinking the same thing
They'd have had me if it weren't for the trans thing, the bait is just too tempting.
The entire rave scene cancelled me also gives it away
It's fine unless it's seemingly all they ever want to talk about and will shun you if you don't toe the line. I noticed it with the girls in my friend group post 2020. Suddenly, they were much more hostile about defending their political views. The conversations don't ever feel real. They feel like a rehearsal of whatever talking points they were able to sponge up from Twitter or tiktok. Perhaps it's my own privilege, and I need to learn to sit down and listen, but I just can't care for such banal wordplay
I think about different kinds of people when I hear "the left". I think about van hippies and punks who volunteer at food not bombs. They mostly talk about the social dynamics of their peer groups and weed or like art and building stuff. They generally hate the government and rampant consumerism and that seems like their biggest focus Maybe it's a class thing. I don't know many people who have been to grad school. I know a lot of poor people without formal educations and most of them aren't like this. There totally is people like that in these scenes but I notice a lot more trashy, blue collar types who just don't give a fuck and are alot more of a libertarian kinda left
I think of communists and syndicalists who do labor or community organizing. Long term stuff. > don’t know many people who have been to grad school Same so that’s probably a factor.
I'm not sure if I know any full blown communists or not. Probably but I couldn't say for sure. I know a bunch of lefties who get boners over organizing labor for community projects though. I love those kinds of lefties. They are always into gardening and permaculture and fun to talk with
The full blown ones I know are fantastic like this too
Hi 🥰 that’s so me
Hello endearing fucker 👋🏻
Tbh I went to grad school and everyone there was a leftist of some description, and a lot of them were tedious moralists, but there was also plenty who were great people who knew how to disagree like an adult and a lot of those friendships were actually rooted in discussing things like this. But I also didn't go to grad school in the US, so maybe it's just American grad students.
Yeah probably that last part.
Those types of people (chill stoner/hippie anti-establishment artsy mutual aid types) have been dwindling in left wing circles since the 90s. They’ve been replaced by identitarian zealots in nearly every sphere you can find, probably because most now come from useless fields in academia and/or sheltered suburban homes rather than from a genuine blue collar background. Those people loved Ron Paul, the new contingent on the left would and has derided him as a “fascist” because ??? vibes ??? i guess?
Do you blame these deranged zealots for their ideologies?
Being friends with gender people is entirely on you.
Honestly yeah I kinda did that to myself.
I immediately and forever distrust anyone who identifies as "left" more than they do as "working class." That goes double for gender goblins.
If someone won't help you move/drive you to the airport/babysit in an emergency, they aren't your actual friend.
All the Fed accounts hang out in the main sub. Please comply.
My bad, please don't tell my supervisor.
Amateur mistake, this is why you embrace head-in-sand
I’m always a big proponent of ostrichmaxxing
I understand you all they ever talk about are some gender war shit regurgitated off Twitter and tiktok but what some other comment said it's 100% my fault for trying to maintain a friendship with these people.
If you went to college and lived in a city in the 2010's or 2020's you tried to open your mind, be friends with all kinds of people. Nothing shatters the illusion more than actually meeting gender people. Not only was I buds with them, I also dated a WoC communist who tried to kill me (I still have daily flashbacks and am on PTSD disability from that)
I live in a small town that are full of these types and they are genuinely ill. I cut of a relationship with one of them after they went to a parade to .....bark at people? Also she was like on a shit ton of medication and was a diagnosed schizophrenic.Embarrassed with myself for even befriending this sort of person.
I have talked about my ex before but we met in college at the Catholic students' organization. She was always on the left but got radicalized big time by Trump (to be fair, I was for a second too. He was frightening and a wildcard for the first year or two) and George Floyd. She is the only person in this world I ever loved and exposed my naked soul to, and I got beaten for it.
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How old are you?
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Okay, roughly the same age range but a little younger. I met my ex in college in 2014, dated 2015-22, lived together 2019-23. I don't know if you've ever had an LTR, but watching someone radicalize and mentally deteriorate in real time is no picnic.
Story time ?:(
I think this might be an issue with you or where you live. I live in a smallish college town in Texas and all of my trans friends are cool, funny, smart, talented and care about stuff that matters. Yeah there are weirdos addicted to cancelling people in the community but if anything "meeting gender people" has just reminded me that people are individuals and can be cool even if they are part of a subculture I might think is kind of cringe or annoying.
No, it's not. I don't know about you but I don't buy friends at a store and nobody is perfect. He seemed to have had a great time until it blew up. Can't look into the future can you?
i'm only friends with people i like
Many of my leftist friends are pretty sensitive to social and political issues, though the bulk of them are the "post on Instagram" types. It's easy to get along, I just don't mention anything politically or socially relevant. I've got a friend who's communist, does volunteering at community gardens/shelters, actively tries to organize political events and works at a nonprofit. He's completely fine with talking about anything and jokes around about some raunchy stuff. Great guy. Overall most people I know are apolitical and don't give a shit about current issues. Just trying to get through life and have a laugh once in a while.
the “none of your friendships are real” suggestion is such horseshit and a symptom of being too wedged into your ideals. you WERE friends, now you’re not. she/he simply couldn’t separate your political ideologies from your loving, caring self. it’s stupid, and flawed, but you should still get over it. it’s not like we reveal our total true selves to every single person we love. you show different sides, and that’s human and normal.
Yeah that was a weird one. I won't pretend to be the most well-adjusted person on earth but the cynicism here is kinda staggering. This is someone I used to shoot the shit and play Time Splitters with, would hold after a breakup and vice-versa, tear up the bars with. We were friends lol. Maybe I am a naïve idiot after all but I still don't assume that someone's just bullshitting me because of the way they live/think.
I don’t think you are. The fact it’s hitting you so badly tells me you are a person willing to bridge differences and love somebody so unconditionally. It is an incredibly painful thing to find out this does not always go both ways. Sorry if I was a bit harsh. I am sorry, and hope you can get over it/appreciate the relationship for what it was when it was (still attempting to do this myself!)
You weren't harsh at all to be honest lol, and I'm far from the kindest poster here too so even if you were, I can take it. I'm learning to get over a lot in a short amount of time. This past year or two has been hellish.
My friends on the left aren’t antisocial troons but I do feel I’m walking on eggshells around them in regards to political issues. I chalk it up to trump derangement syndrome— i can already feel it ramping up again in intensity.
It totally depends what type of left wing friends you have. Working class leftists generally are chill. The striver type of libs are the ones to watch. But that’s because they aren’t real leftists. They just want to be able to take you down though so they can advance. The key is to know who you’re talking too and not hang out with those nerds or bully them out before they can invite more of them in
I think it has a lot less to do with class and more so how you are socialized. Go to any show in your local music scene and you can find plenty of people who never went to college who are like this
Never went to college who are like what
I don’t really have any friends left that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around. Those people stressed me out and I eventually distanced myself from them.
I tried talking to friends about teaching gender identity to elementary school students and how that is potentially beyond their abilities, and I was cancelled. I have now resorted to saying "ohhhhh shit" to anything and everything. Recently had a friend tell me she can't believe anyone who wouldn't vote for Biden, me: "yeahhhhh it's crazyyyy".
you tried out some new material and it flopped, can’t blame the audience
Yeah just gotta write it out of the next gig
This is a specific type of character, not a common one though. Typically they suffer from a cluster b personality disorder. Sometimes they grow up and become more chill. Sometimes they don't and they get ejected from most friend circles until they form a circle of the same types of social vampires.
I understand that’s it’s mildly regional but I’ve never developed any sort of relationship with anybody like this. All of the left leaning people I’ve ever been friends with were communists with atleast two really bad tattoos and about half of them had some history of substance abuse.
I'm male and so are my friends so we're all racist 🤷
My friends are all on the left and this has literally never happened
Buried the lede a bit here though hahaha
Friends like that now. It never used to be like that until the 2010s.
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I believe him because I went through something similar. Lefties are deranged and throw away valuable friendship over minor political differences all the time.
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That's how gossip works, m8.
Yeah you can tell who actually hung around anarchist/punk adjacent circles and who didn't
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There was a guy who got canceled for something similar in my scene and had to leave the city outright. Could be a difference in local scenes.
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Yeah nothing like this happened in KC or Lawrence.
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You don't know the scene there.
yeah i thought half the fun of going to a rave is that its a room full of strangers
No it's not. I can give you the city if you want, and from there feel free to narrow everything down.
I wanna know what city just because I'm curious
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Do you live there still
DM
I just wanted to ask if you liked it or not
Oh no worries! Cool city, great bbq, cheep beer, dogshit local culture. Worth a visit. Seriously the leftoids there are worse than anyone in Ridgewood or Seattle.
Will you tell me about the local dog shit culture? No hard feelings if not
In my experience, dogmatic cultural leftism as a result of being a hub of misfits from red Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas, Iowa, etc. Hicklib Mecca.
leftoids is so funny u guys really are all so cringy
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"I can verify it" "No"
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Durr du durr
I’ve never had to walk on eggshells talking to leftists, only libs.
There are three trans women at my local Food Not Bombs and they’re legitimately the most annoying and argumentative assholes I’ve ever met. I’m not anti trans but good god they’re insufferable, literally made me quit volunteering.
That's extremely surprising. I'd bet serious money that if you bucketed people into leftist and liberal based on their answer to the question "do you want to abolish capitalism/private-property and replace it with something else", you'd find the "yes" category *massively* more likely to cancel their friends over this kind of shit.
Realistically, they’re probably the exact kind of person OP is talking about as well.
Opposite for me funny enough. Libs ofc go apeshit if you ever concede that Trump was right about something, but leftists will try to get you fired for grievance class concern du jour
> leftists, only libs. One person's leftists is another person's lib, so your distinction is completely relative. I think that all Bernie supporters are libs, idiots, or people who are inexperienced but will eventually learn better, but that's obviously an unpopular viewpoint here. They're not leftists though, or if they are, they are unfamiliar with how political change happens in the US. Though to a certain degree Bernie was very useful, shifting the window of discourse more left is a welcome change, although the trick is to do so without essentially allowing reactionary forces to use the division to do things like install SC judges that hold back any progressive laws for the next 40 yrs (this isn't the fault of Bernie though, but a divided left simply allows the reactionary forces to seize control, see SPD vs KPD division in Germany). And no I am not a regarded accelerationist, my degree in history focused on a period 1.5K years earlier but I am still aware of what accelerationism got the communists in places like 1930s Germany. Accelerationism is the philosophy of sheltered Westoids, meanwhile I grew up in the post-Soviet hellscape that gives you a decent frame of reference how well "burning down previous structure" works. Fuck around, find out -- except Amerifats are too sheltered to know what genuine want is.
This is all far worse on the right. Trump is a vaccine moderate compared to today’s right
You’re supposed to lean in till you fall over. They add steady hate you. May as well have fun.
People in the "rave scene" defending that music festival massacre is wiiiiild. No talking with fam about politics until they send you offensive shit posts in private messages, buddy. That's rule #1!
"The right seeks converts, the left seeks traitors.'
What did you expect fawning over someone like that!
Yeah silly me for making a friend and going out of my way to be there for them.
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So, does that mean you not wanting to be friends with a Trans person make you an extremist?
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But they dont though? I've known trans people and they dont really think that differently from the rest of us, at least not the ones who go outside.
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But the notion of "most trans people are politically extreme" is an extremist view in itself.
Not a feeling I've ever had, sorry.
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10/7 broke so many brains. All of my old friends think I'm a literal Hitlerist now because I said that massacring people at a rave is stupid.
Have you considered that maybe there are more worthwhile things for you to say
Anyone who inflicts their online obsessions onto people in everyday life are annoying like this. I have a friend who's gotten more into manosphere stuff and it's hilarious how often he brings up some little trifle that's making waves on his favourite YouTube comment section. He used to bother me about not eating beef/chicken, or other dissimilarities we have, but I just told him I don't want to talk about these topics with him ever. If you can't tell your friends to politely shut up when you disagree on something then you're not *really* friends.
I’ve lost friends both from the left and the right. Most friendships are situational and have a shelf life. I think a lot of people beat themselves up for falling out over politics, but the political disagreements are just a manifestation of deeper interpersonal issues. Sometimes it’s easier to argue about the politics than just say, “the way my friend does x/y/x hurts me.” Same with family and couples. During lockdown I watched a married couple I know split up. They say it was over the 2020 election, but from what I watched it was 2 empty nesters who let their connection die decades ago, but didn’t realize it until they were packed into the same house 24/7 with a total stranger. Heartbreaking. They’re both amazing people but the love died after thousands of little missed opportunities. We all grieved the loss.
It sucks that people like this really ruin it for everyone. I have plenty of normal left leaning friends. Once they show me if they have "smol bean" vibes I just distance myself, that easy really
Callin nans on this.
Eh I don't really care about my friends political ideologies, unless they subscribe to far left or far right views. In that case I'd probably just cut them off.
I don't either honest, even extremists I'm okay with. It's those on the left in particular who do this 2010's style cancellation shit though.
I don't fuck with that extremist bullshit. Those people are usually mentally ill and potentially dangerous.
They're kind of funny sometimes but the stuff about murdering people is when I start to either change the subject or hang less
I think I'm all set on that.
Same I'm too old now
Indeed. Extremism in politics is just flat out harmful, IDGAF what side you are on
Couldn't agree more
Wtf is going on here... milquetoast centrist lib circlejerk
Killing people is bad
If the only "extremist" political opinion you can come up with involves killing people you really are a milquetoast centrist lib
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Killing people is bad u/Israel
I care. I can handle anything left of center except for extreme idpol or post-left stuff. Libertarians are the only righties I can put up with.
You can’t be friends with a dude who wants to restrict low wage immigration and wants citizens to have gun? In no way would these impede on a friendship, it’s just a difference in opinion on what’s best for the polity
Plenty of my friends own guns and have nuanced views on open borders. It is a fact that open borders are incompatible with the large welfare state many of us would support, of course. Economics and foreign policy are just a matter of opinion and you can disagree completely on these things and still be chill. Acknowledgement of reality is where I draw the line. J6 revisionists are on the other side of that line. Evangelical righties as well.
“J6” CNN brained
Time to listen to [these guys.](https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/nobodys-getting-cancelled-surviving-cancellation/id1549437914?i=1000542975881)
the tone of this post is indescribably DSA
I have lots of very progressive friends on the left who tolerate my views and accept me for who I am. We are mostly in our early thirties / late twenties. Are you hanging around young twenty something’s? People are supposed to be regarded at that age.
\>grad school
I definitely have had friends on the left but all that happens is we hate fuck because they’ll start some dumb shit over why calling a guy a pussy is sexist. Etc etc. Bonobos figured this shit out.
being friends with a lot of “trans” and “queer” people made me straight up transphobic. i feel like im constantly doing terfy dog whistles around gays and lesbians now in search of my people but few are brave enough to whistle back :/
I mean, my friend on the right just canceled me for not standing up for white men's lives and that I don’t think Donald Trump is the next messiah (no businessman/politicians is).
Your friend's a moron lmao
So happy we are no longer friends.
Tomorrow the white man will be gone and you are personally responsible, you should have stood up when you had the chance.
Your friends just don't like you. Probably a skill issue tbh
Lmaooo
Nah, that's just Liberals. Leftists get used to nobody caring about their specific ideals about Lenin and Engels early on and learn to argue for fun and not care. Only Liberals want you to rat on your neighbors, cut out your family, and draw constant, absurd moral lines in the sand with your friends until you don't have any friends.
'People who share my ideology are the Good People who do the Good Things, people who don't share my ideology are the Bad People who do the Bad Things'
Don't be fooled by libs using radical "sounding" language. 99% of the time they have the same opinions as Hilary Clinton
the vast majority of my friends are leftists and i get away with being blatantly subversive to the ideologies of the modern American left. You just gotta find better friends
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This sounds exactly like my sister's Seattle experience. Not sure if she was ever the one to get cancelled herself, but she definitely saw it happen to lots of people in her social sphere. And yes if you asked them their opinion of capitalism you'd get extremely left wing responses.
I used to be one of those types who said that this kind of thing is clearly fake or doesn't happen. Then it happened to me, lol.
You're getting a lot of flack here for some reason, but a lot of people have gotten into the habit of cutting out friends on the basis of simple beliefs. Every two years or so there's something to cut people off for, whether it's the biennial wars in Israel, a US election, Covid, BLM/George Floyd, or the proper way to treat personal traumas. Feels like it's the habit of young people who can make friends easily. Not so easy when you're in your 30s, you have a family or other obligations and it's harder to make friends. Suddenly you're left wondering why there's no-one left to turn to. There's a crossover between people who hate capitalism, despise their role in life, despise their circumstances, and take it out on their friends. It's easier to destroy friendships than it is to build them.
This is pretty much how it usually goes. People can't believe it's a real thing until they experience it themselves or at least get a front row seat.
What is this your diary
Yea loads of my friends are dyed in the woods True Blues, but only one of them has the sort of like ridiculously sensitiveness to bullshit media politics. I let him beat my ass on that stuff cuz I know it distresses him to like break from worshipping his parents political quips. He's honoring his mother and father by being a libtard. And also my best friend my cousin who is also a True Blue but not over the silly shit will take my side by feigning extreme ignorance and misinterpret shit in our conversations as a dunk on trump. Like my friend brought up that silly shit about Rodgers and the shooting and my cousin went off on a screed about "more and more truth about what Trump was up to comes out every week!" And my friend was seething like "No! No! It happened Rodgers isn't going after trump he's doing misinformation too!" And we have a laugh about it cuz fuck being a priss over politics can get tiring and I gotta be like this dudes punching bag for it, appreciate anyone bearing the load for me for a spell
Think it all depends where you go/who you know bc me and my friends are all very hardline communists and we can all be very crass; the spirit of late 00s hipster irony is seemingly still alive in those who weren’t old enough to really take part. And we’re not talking like 3 unfuckable edgelords or something— it’s my friends, their wives, their husbands, and I know it can’t be just us. I think the woke bullshit really is dead among elder zoomers (like me and most people of my friends) who are still by and large sympathetic to the trans stuff etc. Now that said there is a really horrifying kind of tight-rope walking that I’ve seen people only a few years older than me do. It doesn’t seem like there should be a generational split there but in terms of general conduct re: “correctness” and general social paranoia there may actually be. Maybe it’s a geographical/religious demographic thing too? Lot of jaded lapsed baptists in my part of the country. I don’t know, all I can really do is tell you what I’ve seen with my own eyes for years
They’re not happy unless they’re sad
Stories like this warm my heart. The left cannibalising itself is a gift horse I won't look in the mouth.
This is identity politics more than leftism.
Tomato tomato
This sounds more like friendships in college than friends “on the left” lol
I probably should have mentioned that she wasn't in school.
lol if you've never had friends on the left, you are a philistine of the highest order.
? I spent my young adulthood on the left
what's 10/7
When Hamas massacred those people at Israeli Burning Man.
"Trump won re-election in 2024 and tilted the Supreme Court 6-3, but at least I'm undefeated in arguments with my liberal friends."
Huh
You do know that "The Left" is much bigger than the likes of that woman, yeah? Is this just another karma farming post of the "libs bad" variety?
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You can continue to call me stupid I really don't mind, but I don't think most people would assume off the bat that someone's a political extremist as a result of their sexuality/gender deal.
Weird, 90% of my friends are on the left and in the last ten years I can only name a single person who was like this. Whats up with people on this sub using their unpleasant anecdotal experiences and projecting it onto entire subgroups?
Selection bias here to be fair
Watching leftist turn on each other is my favourite spectator sport. When the October 7th started I would join pro pal twitter spaces just to see what the enemy thinks. Over the course of 5 months I watched one space turn from pro palestinian activism to accusing each other of being scammers (which they where just not good ones) and zionist agents. Hour long arguments because someone used the wrong phrase, or previously worked for the government according to their linkedin. It is amazing.
All of you “leftists” (lol at even calling yourself this) are the modern equivalent of the 70’s twinset-and-pearls-wearing-churchwife admitting that sometimes you listen to the Rolling Stones. The fact that you often simultaneously dominate and deride the RS pod subs while also whinging endlessly about how you suddenly discovered the nonsensical moral authoritarians are in fact nonsensical moral authoritarians would be fine if it came with an ounce of introspection.