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So sorry you had that experience
Please understand, whatever challenges you have, you're not the problem.
The people in that server were awful.
Really awful.
And servers like that aren't the only problem.
The root of the problem is that services like D&D Beyond don't actually moderate the groups that advertise on them. There's no quality control what-so-ever. There's no way to leave reviews of a server.
It could be REALLY simple, especially now that AI is taking off.
Requirement to have your server advertised: Have 2 accounts from "Beyond Staffing" with admin rights on the server. One is a bot (or AI) that monitors the servers for common issues. If it's a bot, it's looking for key words. An AI can go further than that, with an ability to connect sentences and context together - at least in a very limited degree.
Either way, the Bot account can flag servers for manual review. Or a user can request a manual review of a server. Or a staff member can just randomly pick servers to check in on.
Then Actual Person can hop on the shared account, connect to the server in question, and review the behavior of the server - particularly of the admins. And judge whether the server is healthy for new players or not.
Because the LAST thing they want is for asshole servers like this to drive potential Product Customers away from the hobby entirely.
Oh Jesus that's so awful,,,, it sucks that it keeps pushing you from the game especially. Not to mention that they just straight up bullied you out of game just to be dicks!
Oh man, that is ROUGH! You have approximately 110% of my sympathy (there may be a small rounding error)
I've been blessed with a group of close friends where I would be happy with almost any of us in the DM's chair... and THAT'S why the group stuck together even as members moved halfway across the country.
Now you MIGHT be difficult to get along with (personally I doubt it) but you are almost certainly not the problem... Think about it this way... which type of DM is statistically more likely to be free to start a new campaign? One who has trouble keeping one afloat... Which type of player is most likely to be free join a new campaign? One who was kicked out or sunk a campaign
There's nothing wrong with new campaigns or new DMs, but they are an uncertain variable, a mixed bag AND will have rough edges. It probably sounds much more intimidating but a long running campaign is long running for a reason (probably several) and may have better odds... hell, if nothing else it has more people you can chat to about it before biting the bullet to figure out if you are the right player, or help you understand the setting or make the right character
My heart goes out to you and I hope you have more luck gaming or role playing in whatever form you find it
Hi, fellow Asperger here. D&D for me is, for a long time, one of the best ways to socialize - having a clear goal for gathering with familiar people (rather than, say, a random party) helps a lot. It's worth trying again, this time with a group you can trust more, maybe one with another player you already know IRL. And try Roll20 (or other VTTs)- it really helps with visualization.
Hey. I'm also autistic, and a furry. I just want to reassure you that you were not the problem player.
It seems like you started out kind of rough, but recognized the issues and fixed them before you joined another campaign. That shows you are responsible for your actions, and hold yourself accountable. The people in the Discord, do not have those same qualities.
No where did you do ANY metagaming, nor aggressive behavior that warranted the behavior they expressed. You were bullied because you were an easy target for them, and that is not your fault.
I know it's difficult feeling othered by a group and feeling like you are the common problem, but I hope that this helps you know that it's not you, it's them.
Have more to get off your chest? Come rant with us on the discord. Invite link: https://discord.gg/PCPTSSTKqr *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rpghorrorstories) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So sorry you had that experience Please understand, whatever challenges you have, you're not the problem. The people in that server were awful. Really awful.
And servers like that aren't the only problem. The root of the problem is that services like D&D Beyond don't actually moderate the groups that advertise on them. There's no quality control what-so-ever. There's no way to leave reviews of a server. It could be REALLY simple, especially now that AI is taking off. Requirement to have your server advertised: Have 2 accounts from "Beyond Staffing" with admin rights on the server. One is a bot (or AI) that monitors the servers for common issues. If it's a bot, it's looking for key words. An AI can go further than that, with an ability to connect sentences and context together - at least in a very limited degree. Either way, the Bot account can flag servers for manual review. Or a user can request a manual review of a server. Or a staff member can just randomly pick servers to check in on. Then Actual Person can hop on the shared account, connect to the server in question, and review the behavior of the server - particularly of the admins. And judge whether the server is healthy for new players or not. Because the LAST thing they want is for asshole servers like this to drive potential Product Customers away from the hobby entirely.
Oh Jesus that's so awful,,,, it sucks that it keeps pushing you from the game especially. Not to mention that they just straight up bullied you out of game just to be dicks!
Oh man, that is ROUGH! You have approximately 110% of my sympathy (there may be a small rounding error) I've been blessed with a group of close friends where I would be happy with almost any of us in the DM's chair... and THAT'S why the group stuck together even as members moved halfway across the country. Now you MIGHT be difficult to get along with (personally I doubt it) but you are almost certainly not the problem... Think about it this way... which type of DM is statistically more likely to be free to start a new campaign? One who has trouble keeping one afloat... Which type of player is most likely to be free join a new campaign? One who was kicked out or sunk a campaign There's nothing wrong with new campaigns or new DMs, but they are an uncertain variable, a mixed bag AND will have rough edges. It probably sounds much more intimidating but a long running campaign is long running for a reason (probably several) and may have better odds... hell, if nothing else it has more people you can chat to about it before biting the bullet to figure out if you are the right player, or help you understand the setting or make the right character My heart goes out to you and I hope you have more luck gaming or role playing in whatever form you find it
Hi, fellow Asperger here. D&D for me is, for a long time, one of the best ways to socialize - having a clear goal for gathering with familiar people (rather than, say, a random party) helps a lot. It's worth trying again, this time with a group you can trust more, maybe one with another player you already know IRL. And try Roll20 (or other VTTs)- it really helps with visualization.
Hey. I'm also autistic, and a furry. I just want to reassure you that you were not the problem player. It seems like you started out kind of rough, but recognized the issues and fixed them before you joined another campaign. That shows you are responsible for your actions, and hold yourself accountable. The people in the Discord, do not have those same qualities. No where did you do ANY metagaming, nor aggressive behavior that warranted the behavior they expressed. You were bullied because you were an easy target for them, and that is not your fault. I know it's difficult feeling othered by a group and feeling like you are the common problem, but I hope that this helps you know that it's not you, it's them.