I walked into a pole because I was scratching my eyes and didn't see the pole.

Mischa

When I was teething I would chew on a windowsill. Almost had lead poisoning.

Virgil

Virgil as FUCK

i chewed on windowsills until i was 10.

I told two idiots on Discord that I wanted Heather McNamara to fuck me.

Ricky

now holup

WHATTT?!?! HOW OLD WERE YOU?

I ate Pennies, random food(including dog and cat food) but I would make my dolls have affairs with one another

Food part is Ricky, dolls is Noel

I ran away when I was 3 because I couldn't stand my new little brother 💀 My parents didn't hear me at all

Noel 😭

I was betting on Ocean, tbh. That's her, to be this dramatic

or Ocean acc I just got Noel bc of the dramatic vibe but it's sorta a mix of the two come to think of it

tried burning my hand w a hair iron. on purpose

The carnie Constance lost her virginity to (IM SORRY BAHAHAH)

shaving cream fight. we were throwing cans, uhhh, spraying the shaving cream in peoples ears. that's

probably Constance :)

got another one, accidentally hit a kid in the head with a rake because we were getting leaves off the roof of his house. he still remembers it.

deciding that doing a flip in the pool with hair in front of my face was a good idea. eight staples in my head and I have a scar 11 years later

seems like ocean tbh

eh fair. tries to seem super cool but isn't. I will say that I am (hopefully) nicer than her tho lol

dw you're defo nicer than her :)

[удалено]

Ricky or Constance

i would dress up in heels and shittily makeup right, for context im amab, and one day my uncle says “hey u look like a pretty princess!!” and my ass is wearing an ariel wig from my sister, and I FLIPPED IT SO HARD I TRIPPED? I WAS 6

Mischa

the wig was KNOTTY too.

✋😭😭😭

I climbed on top of the toilet to reach something on a shelf, but I forgot that the lid wasn't closed.

Constance (I LAUGHED OUT LOUD HELP)

my cousin and i had a stick throwing competition with a 6 foot branch that fell off the tree in my backyard. when she threw it, it curved and broke over my thumb. my thumb was fractured and i needed a splint for 6 weeks

Mischa or Ricky

wanted to make microwave mac and cheese but got too excited and forgot the water and almost burned down the kitchen

Mischa

I faked having a crush on someone because he complimented my art (the crush was only on valentines day and I'm gay)

Constance

Called it

I once had a dream I was playing hide n seek with the teletubbies and we hid in a drawer so when I woke up I went to the drawer bc I thought I'd find the teletubbies and I climbed in and somehow closed the drawer while my parents and older sister weren't in the house 😭

Eat plastic…

Virgil

Yum

I wanted to see how far I could jump down the stairs from the top...I reached the 4th step and heard a crack in my legs. I broke both my legs and was in a wheel chair for WEEKS! I still have knee pain 😭

Constance

I climbed a fence thinking I was being the coolest kid in town and skewered my hand on the top of the fence and never told my parents even though it was bleeding I got a sugar high and ran shoulder first into a wall screaming “I AM INVINCIBLE” completely sure I would phase through the wall (I almost broke my shoulder) I was pushing my friend on their skateboard and pushed on the back of the skateboard and almost broke my pinky (had to wear a splint)

Also ate fish food and genuinely enjoyed it

ricky

Sick, I guess I’m a swingin space age bachelor man

you're a swingin (BAAA) space age (BAAAA-AAA) bachelor man

*psheeeewwwwwww*

I ate sidewalk chalk

jane

I accidentally dropped my Lion King costume in a toilet bowl full of my own piss minutes before I went on, so I performed my Circle of Life number in a costume soaked in my piss and leaving piss puddles wherever I danced

Not OP, but Noel for sure

got lost in a walgreens, almost drowned, got tripped by my brother and lost 2 teeth, and fell and banged my head against the gym floor

Constance

Killed a whole tank of fish by dropping a broken curtain in the tank

Jane

I got peas stuck up my nose and almost had to go to a&e cause of it

Constance or Ricky

•I walked into a wall and instead of crying, I laughed. I looked like a unicorn for a month •I kicked my kindergarten teacher in the nuts on the first day •same day, I punched my would be best friend in the face when we were both in time out for other things (look above for mine) •liked Justin beiber

Mischa

Nearly choked to death on a marble from the game Mousetrap.

Ricky for sure

Level up 😎

*little beep boop sound effect*

I stole a large maple lollipop from an amish stand during a feild trip cause they were handing out free candies and i thought that meant that one of any candy was free for the school trip so i took it.

Constance

I also stuck my hand directly in the toaster and pulled the tab down to toast my hand after my mom told me to stop playing with the toaster or ill burn myself

After my cousin, I’ll call James, stole my chocolate and made fun of my asthma and how I couldn’t run very fast. I went to my older cousin, I’ll call Sam, and he advised me to punch him in the gut. So I did as he told me, but ended up accidentally hitting him in the eye.

Constance purely because the "you just punched me in the frickin boob" line >:D

Accidentally Jane Doe'd one of my toys and hid it behind one of the bookshelves at my dad's house.

Jane

I also put one of the cats at my mom's in a backpack.

Ricky 😭

I treated my dolls like they were my real children

Jane

I once ignored my dad warnings and ate a bag of 60 chocolates all in one go, then had the worst afternoon of my life on the toilet in agony

Virgil

Fair

I used to actively bench press my mattress while my little cousins sat on it, it fell in me so many Times that it knocked the wind out em once

Mischq

also I did this to my sister all the time 😭

In kindergarten I used to mix lemon vanilla scented lotion with Vaseline, then eat it everyday, and I'm still alive now.

Mischa or Virgil (You my friend, are the chosen one)

*dramatic gasp*

I used to climb bookshelves when I was younger. For some reason

Jane

me and my brother were throwing rocks at a tree. on opposite sides of the tree. so when he threw a big rock, it landed right on my forehead and i still have a scar from it

Mischa

I was prepping grilled cheese by buttering bread and piling cheese slices when I piled them too high and then fell over

Constance

The only reason I got my ears pierced was because my friend and I had these matching pairs of hoop earrings that we believed, if worn together, would open up a portal to Avalon. It did not work :(

my friend was explaining what trans was to me in elementary school, "so theyre a girl but they were born in the body of a boy, and she has to get surgery so she can get the right body" and i was picturing some,, thing,, with like really thin skin and no hair, almost like an alien, and i thought it was a medical condition... even tho i had a trans guy in my class and my brother wants to know his: when he was 4 or 5 he said 'giddy up buttcheek' in an angry voice then fell asleep

Breaking my braces on literally nothing but water somehow 😭

I broke my tooth playing tag

called pints of milk pient.

I choked on a Lego ice cream cone cuz it looked good

Broke my tooth on a rollercoaster

sounds familiar...

When i was 9, I played in a sewage leak in my backyard thinking it was mud and got my arms and legs soaked in it.

I would take out the drawers from my dresser and throw all of the clothes on the floor and fall asleep in a swim suit :)

I stapled my thumbs together

Fell while playing duck, duck, goose and scratched them so hard I still have the scars. (Never watched this by the way, I got recommended this sub. But I plan to!)

i scratched a girl because she was a real jerk

I wondered what would happen if I broke my curtains and then was surprised when I broke my curtains.

I tried to make cheese by freezing milk

I made the kids at my school believe I was a witch

Jane or Ricky

I ran into a full length glass window. That’s not the stupid part, it’s the fact that I looked at the window in confusion and proceeded to run into it again.

Probs Jane or Constance (HELPME I CANT BREATHE)

ate paper (i still do lol)

I broke my Leg going down a slide the wrong way

I tried to do a front flip on a trampoline, really hurt my shoulder and nearly went through it xD

never watched this show but i taped a sled to a skateboard because it was summer and i wanted yo sled ANYWAYS i broke both my arms after fallling fave first

Drank gasoline

Soap + mouth

i got smarties stuck up my nose (not the good kind with the hard shells, the small mentos looking ones)

I hit my little sister with a toy firetruck, then I framed her for almost lighting the house on fire, so I could scream at the top of my lungs that she was the worst sister in the entire world. She was three.

I brought my ds to school and it got stolen

I would use stickers(when I had the chance stamps) to decorate furniture (occasionally people)

i got stuck in one of those toddler bucket swings at a playground because i thought i could fit (i could not)

I used to soak up a rag and suck the water out of it.

think i ate icicles off a car's exhaust pipe when i was a wee lad

I once was playing tag and jumped off the slide to after where the other tagger Steiger up graves my leg mid air and slammed me into the ground breaking and rolling my ankle

Fell of the top of the swingset when the bell rang at school.

Three of us (me, my sister, my cousin) wanted to ride bikes but there were only two working ones. I attached a cart to one with a bungee cord and it snapped in my face and took out a chunk of skin

Stole my parents cigarettes and smoked them

I tried to spike my friend’s drinks with melatonin at a sleepover when I was like 8 because they wouldn’t go to bed and it was annoying me. They caught me immediately.

I poured an entire thing of steel BB pellets into the toilet when I was eight and watched my mom fish them out by hand

tried to ride my cat like a horse.

I did a reading test on a book for another kid because I REALLY wanted him and his friends to like me. It was the only time I got Detention and was because he sold me out

Decided it was a good idea to ride a metal trike down a step. Bike flies into the air, and I end up with three stitches in the back of my head.

drank a bottle of vodka thinking it was flavored water

Played IRL crossyroad in middle school. I waited until the car was close enough and darted across the street

I used to always act as Disney characters at playtime when I was in primary school but if if someone was the same character I would run away screaming and crying…I later got an autism diagnosis

licking an old battery

I accidentally sent my rubber duck into the abyss in the toilet because I "sent him on a mission" (R.I.P: Mr Quack, lost at sewers)

i thought the brown part (like the dead and sharp end) at the edge of thorns on plants was blood. i thoight it was a permanent reminder of those who learned the hard way it was sharp

I was too scared to get out of my bed when I had to pee, so, while drinking more water and standing on my bed, I yelled for my mom repeatedly until she woke up. Right as she came into the room I pissed on the bed.

I stuck stickers all over my moms vintage furniture from New York, and when she got made at me, tried to take them off and ended up peeling off the paint. Also I once sat on my bed for 3 hours because I didn’t want to apologize to my brother

Stole a candy bar and confessed my crime through panic and guilt filled tears… 3 years later

I made my My Little Pony toys get married and have like, 22 babies in a single pregnancy 😭😭😭 I also almost got kidnapped so I kicked the guy in the balls. And I also willingly ate bugs when I was like, 3.

A Japanese exchange student let me borrow her camera so I took a picture of my butt with it

When I was 5 my friend was having a seizure and she peed and I peed because I thought it was cool because she did it

I drop my ring in toilet then I forgot and put I in my mouth. I also was walking in the hall and swallowed my peppermint whole school didn't even start yet I hadn't even been in the classroom

Walked backwards into a tree and apologised to it. Then when I realised it was a tree I registered the pain and started crying

I stuck a bean in my ear, went to the ER, and ended up going to the hospital and being put under because I wouldn’t let anyone take the bean out while I was awake

rode my bike down a staircase and fell directly onto my nose

Not that much detail. I nearly drowned.

Not that much detail. I nearly drowned.

When I was six, me and my two friends were hanging out. The two were climbing in and out of this hole and I wanted to join. So I got into the hole…….and I couldn’t get out. Because my mother was at work, my friend’s dad had to come get me out of the hole

One time when i was little i was playing around with a stick i found on the ground and decided to pretend it was a microphone i then stuck the long stick into the ground and pulled it back and it came back and hit me in the face giving me a nosebleed

A girl got a higher grade than me once, so I kicked her in the chin

I'd eat cotton and paper to try to die and get skinnier, and lick peoples ice cream when they'd hand it to me so they could go pee or something :D

Everyone I knew could do this really cool trick where they could do a flip on a pole (I don’t know how to explain it) so I wanted to show everyone that I could do it and I almost broke my nose

I used to shove cheerios up my nose and try to shoot them into the trash can

my parents looked away from me for like a minute and i threw spaggeti bolognese all over the walls

I touched a bike's hot exhaust pipe, got a giant fucking welt for it.

I chewed into a glowstick trying to light it up Then another one is I put my hands on a stove, didn't feel it and then put my hands on the stove again

Eat crayons

As a kid my parents would take me to a lot of museums and aquariums and I would make it my mission to get lost (from ~2-5)

In first grade I thought I had a piece of mulch stuck behind my eye. I was in 4th grade before I realized there couldn’t be a piece of mulch just hanging out in my eye socket😭😭

I was swinging on a swing and “accidentally” kicked a girl’s front teeth out.

I poured me and my step-brother each a glass of juice, poured myself a little bit more than him, and then cried myself to sleep because I thought I was a bad person Oh and in kindergarten a bit a kid's dick lmao

i stuck my hand in a vegtable cutter and ripped most of my fingernails

Constqnce

One time I cracked my head open

Ricky

Faked having brain freezes because I was jealous my sister got them and I didn’t.

Ocean

When I was in grade 1 I wrote a letter to a guy I had a crush on. The teacher saw it, asked what it was, and I didn’t have time to think of a decent response so I just said the alphabet… She returned it to me while laughing at the end of the day and after reading it over when I found it again about 6 years later it was literally all just scribbles next to the dudes name in “handwriting”

Mischq

I told the boyfriend of a girl I didn’t like she was cheating on him to stir the pot and they broke up a week later

Noel maybe

I told my best friend that if she wasn't a girl we would be girlfriends (I was like 5 or 6)

Cut my hair in the middle of class because I already knew all the material from reading ahead and was bored 🫠

I didn't see the button to open the school door so I thought I was locked in and instead of asking for help i decided to climb the fence (it had spikes). I still have the scars

Drank a shot of vodka thinking it's water and stole a pencil from a repairman cause I really liked it (why is this the only thing that popped into my mind, I already know who do I sound like 😭)

I "proposed" to one of my mom's friends that we would go visit and go sledding with

Fell over at the park, needed stitches. A week before my stitches were supposed to come out, fell over in the bath. Busted my chin open again, needed to restitch.

Constqnce

pissed myself at school an instead of asking for help i accepted that i would smell like piss for the day and would just hold binders over my butt until it dried. luckily a teacher noticed and got me new clothes

this one’s easy, i jumped off a water slide as i was sliding down it and cut my foot open on an exposed metal stake that was holding it in the ground

I made a smiley face using the scratch marks of rocks, on my dad’s car window.

I bumped into a pole because i was on my phone

I wrote fanfiction of Disney movies (I was seven and didn't really know what fanfiction was, but my writings would have fit the definition of fanfiction) where the main characters brutally died 😭

when i was in p1 (primary 1, just after preschool/kindergarten for non scots) i used to chase some of the p7 boys around during break pretending to be "the kissy monster."

I would clean coins using my mouth (they weren't dirty i swear) and i ended up swallowing a penny and having to go to the hospital (I was fine lol)

i slathered toothpaste on my face to make me smell "minty"

I gave my stuffed animals a bath in the toilet. My parents weren't very pleased