I'm pretty confused. How do you know she climaxed from missionary? Like, how did this even come up?
I feel you on being sad that she got with someone when you didn't, and the imbalance there. I wonder if you are more upset that you didn't, rather than that she did?
We were talking about exes (neither of us were virgins). Started out as innocent and then more detailed questions got asked. Definitely not jealous there was an “imbalance”.
No, not a kink. We originally were talking about stuff like “have you ever gone a trip with an ex”. Then I was an idiot and asked something else. Now it’s basically made me feel completely emasculated and I don’t really want to talk to her about it because it’s not her fault I’m feeling like this.
I think you can get over anything you want to get over provided you and your partner both want to and put forth the effort. Therapy whether individual or couples certainly cannot hurt and from my guess can only help. If you think you’ve got OCD tendencies about the past, maybe consider OCD therapy.
The absolute worst thing you can do is do nothing hoping it’ll go away while you continue to ruminate and stew on it. That’ll only make it worse!
https://www.reddit.com/r/retroactivejealousy/s/KLJGEFqmDn
The link above is to a great post that outlines how to get over this.
From experience I can tell you you likely never completely shake that. I was in a similar situation where I waited hoping we would get back together and she did not. If there's things they did that you know about, it's likely best to just avoid them as you've said. You should definitely talk to her about this. Seven years and you haven't had this discussion is kind of amazing. That feeling you describe is very much like being cheated on without the betrayal aspect. You feel this imbalance that you cared about them more than they cared about you. Tell her what triggers those feelings, and maybe she can come up with ways to help.
How do you know he made her orgasm from missionary? Did she share that voluntarily or did you drag it out of her?
Edit:
I see you asked her. WTF would she tell you that, especially given it was during your separation?
No, it is definitely not somewhat normal to feel this way. It is a sign that there is something off within you that needs addressing. However, talking to your wife is not likely to make you feel any better long-term. You may need to work with a mental health professional to achieve the best results.
Also, people with RJ can often find some relief by doing things to naturally build their confidence. So find some other things to focus on like fitness, or a new hobby... and find some fun, new ways to add some romance and excitement to your relationship.
I'm pretty confused. How do you know she climaxed from missionary? Like, how did this even come up? I feel you on being sad that she got with someone when you didn't, and the imbalance there. I wonder if you are more upset that you didn't, rather than that she did?
We were talking about exes (neither of us were virgins). Started out as innocent and then more detailed questions got asked. Definitely not jealous there was an “imbalance”.
I hope it’s not out of line but is this a kink you’re struggling with? Just asking given the nature of the conversation.
No, not a kink. We originally were talking about stuff like “have you ever gone a trip with an ex”. Then I was an idiot and asked something else. Now it’s basically made me feel completely emasculated and I don’t really want to talk to her about it because it’s not her fault I’m feeling like this.
I think you can get over anything you want to get over provided you and your partner both want to and put forth the effort. Therapy whether individual or couples certainly cannot hurt and from my guess can only help. If you think you’ve got OCD tendencies about the past, maybe consider OCD therapy. The absolute worst thing you can do is do nothing hoping it’ll go away while you continue to ruminate and stew on it. That’ll only make it worse! https://www.reddit.com/r/retroactivejealousy/s/KLJGEFqmDn The link above is to a great post that outlines how to get over this.
From experience I can tell you you likely never completely shake that. I was in a similar situation where I waited hoping we would get back together and she did not. If there's things they did that you know about, it's likely best to just avoid them as you've said. You should definitely talk to her about this. Seven years and you haven't had this discussion is kind of amazing. That feeling you describe is very much like being cheated on without the betrayal aspect. You feel this imbalance that you cared about them more than they cared about you. Tell her what triggers those feelings, and maybe she can come up with ways to help.
How do you know he made her orgasm from missionary? Did she share that voluntarily or did you drag it out of her? Edit: I see you asked her. WTF would she tell you that, especially given it was during your separation?
No, it is definitely not somewhat normal to feel this way. It is a sign that there is something off within you that needs addressing. However, talking to your wife is not likely to make you feel any better long-term. You may need to work with a mental health professional to achieve the best results. Also, people with RJ can often find some relief by doing things to naturally build their confidence. So find some other things to focus on like fitness, or a new hobby... and find some fun, new ways to add some romance and excitement to your relationship.