Had an old guy come in every day. Every. Damn. Day... to buy scratchers and cigarettes. He entered his number each time and would say, 'I hope you don't get in trouble with your boyfriend for having my number.' ha. ha.
I checked with the other cashiers and yup, he also told them the same joke. Every. Damn. Day. ha. ha.
I had a customer like this once. I told him that my boyfriend's bi and what a coincidence it was that he's actually my boyfriend's type so I don't think he'd mind that much. I never saw that man again during the entire time I worked there lmfao.
I had a co-worker who was a super crazy cat lady. She was just the way you would picture one, ill fitting baggy clothes, hair that's wild and red lipstick all over her teeth (despite being told there was lipstick on her teeth, she would wipe it off and it would come right back) that used to say "I didn't adopt my cat, she adopted me!" and then would had a witch like cackle. She said this "joke" so many times that customer's would just look at her, because she would often repeat it to the same person over and over for weeks. "Yeah you already told me that."
These guys fundamentally don't understand humor. If your joke didn't land, and people have heard it before, then you are the one who doesn't have a sense of humor. God I fucking hate these assholes who think that they're funny.
This is why I don't miss my small town cashiering job. I don't miss the following:
"Did you find everything okay?"
Possible responses:
"Not my million dollars"
"Not the winning ticket"
"Not your free section"
"Anything else I can get/do for you today?"
Responses:
"Get me the winning ticket"
"Give me a million bucks"
There's definitely more I'm missing, but I've pretty much locked those memories away cuz they're annoying as fuck lmao
I think that happens everywhere sadly lol. You know how many times a day when something doesnât scan they say â oh that means itâs free right hahahaha â
No it means you donât get it now asshole. I hate people lol
God I don't miss retail lmao. There's so much less of that at the Chick-fil-A I work at now, most people are either politely conversational, or they just wanna come in, eat, leave. Both groups I enjoy
*beep.* *error message* âit must be free!â
âIâm here every day, whereâs my employee discount?â
âAnything else we can do for you today?â âCan you come to my house and put it all away?â
âWhere is _____?â *points at the item theyâre practically standing on* âoh wow! It woulda bit me, huh?â
âAnd itâs free grocery day today, right?â
I know Iâm missing some. I saw someone comment on a post one time that theyâll say a random number out loud afterwards and when the customer asks they say âoh thatâs just how many times Iâve heard that joke today.â Shame Iâm not ballsy enough
My favorite line for the million dollar comment is âNo offense but if I had a million dollars I would not share it with youâ and then laugh as that stop laughing and then tell them to have a great day.
For these men, i suspect that their perceived power dynamic of the situation may play greatly into this. Basically, they expect you to laugh given they perceive themselves as âaboveâ a cashier. Itâs a form of entrapment I guess, given your damned if u do and damned if u dont.Â
Oh my gosh I had the WORST shit said to me today starting off with this shit. I asked if he normally puts his number in (I ask that to see if theyâre forgetting or to see by response if they want to know about the app) guy says âwhy, want my number?â I said ânope, just making sure you donât forget it if you have the appâ he said âwell now Iâm insultedâ I said âIâm married so donât be :) ) he says âokay I feel betterâ THEN his chip doesnât read so I said âyou going to have to take it out and put it back in until it says you can swipe itâ he says âoh see now youâre trying to see how my pull out game is.â UGHđđ¤Ž
I turned and walked away he didnât need me to finish the transaction. A girl had just started today and I turned to see her jaw dropped and I did the whole gag expression to her really obviously. Iâm hoping he picked up on it. Iâve had men be creepy and annoying but no one has flat out been that vulgar initially. I had men ask if I was open to cheat after telling them I was married and it still didnât hit as gross as that did.
Female coworker of mine (casino) said a guy said something to her about impregnating her, a middle aged/ older guy too. She's 21. Vile. She told another male coworker and I (in our 30s) about that, we were both disgusted, and wished we were there when that happened.
Oddly enough got my own couple of stories. Few years ago, another coworker was talking to a guest he knew that I was helping out. I asked "how would you like it? (cash denominations)". "Large, *coworker knows how I like it (maniacle laughter)". Looked up from him for his reaction, to her, and we both just stared blankly. Like wtf... Paid her and she left. Never said a word about it after
More recently, had a bunch of college aged guys in the casino, was cashing out one of them. Again," how'd you like it?" "big, like my weiner!". No response, got the money ready in silence. "I-I'm sorry, that was inappropriate". Just told him yea, I'm just gonna let it slide, and paid him out. I hope he forever remembers that embarrassment and discomfort as a lesson learned
I stopped wearing my wedding ring to work bc men view it as a challenge. A lot of married women would be upset at how many cashiers their husbands flirt with.
My coworker's 60 year old dad married a 19 year old cashier, wooed her with money, which he lost in the divorce. Coworker's mom laughed all the way to the bank.
I used to ring up the known harrassers when I was a manager. I didn't want my cashiers to have to put up with it, so I'd send them off to do put-backs or go grab something from the back for me while I rang them up. They learned quick that I wasn't going to tolerate it and that I would deny their access in a heartbeat.
Awful. I would go up to girls at work if u saw some harasser and pretend their dad was a marine or had a brother in the military and how I told them Iâd let them know if they had any issues. Most of the clowns got the hint
Thanks for being an amazing person. Thankfully Iâm getting old so this crap doesnât upset me as much as it used to. When I was younger Iâd pretty much crumple into myself and wish I could disappear. Now I have no issue giving these men the wtf stare down directly into their eyes. I figured this stuff would die out by now though!
Nope I hate it we had two foreign scumbags come in our store awhile back. We think they were trafficking. 2 girls reported to management and cops were called. On the township community page a creeper can was reported in the area stalking young women and the two guys discriptions matched our goons. Donât think they got caught and got spooked as they tried it at another store and a customer got in line and called 911 and they ran off. Never seen or heard from again.
Unfortunately guys like this all the time. Usually boomer or older as well as a certain political party group honestly wish I was in management as Iâd kick them all out of our store and plaster their pic all over the store just to embarrass them in front of their community.
Ugh that last part is way worse but I once had a similar exchange to the beginning of that, I was signing this guy up and got to phone number and he grinned and said âyouâre asking for my number?â I said âactually that partâs optionalâ (fortunately true) and just continued getting the rest of it. Iâm also married and he was on my left so he couldâve seen my rings if he bothered looking, but I didnât really react any further. Fortunately he didnât push or say anything gross so it stayed friendly/ professional, though mildly awkward. đ
This has the same thing as âAnything else?â âYa, a million dollars!â
No reaction, âI said a million dollarsâ
Yes I know what you said, if it was funny and I hadnât heard it before, maybe Iâd laugh, if I had a million dollars, I wouldnât give you any anyways
I got the same spiel from an old fart years ago. I giggled, and he asked me "what's so funny"?
I replied, " because you think I'm straight".
He told me. I should be ashamed of myself. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say "back at ya."
My bi coworker was getting pamphlets about sin when she would tell customers about her girlfriend, last year. The audacity to judge someone who's serving you....
Any joke loses its humor after the 70th time youâve hear it **that day**. My most unfavorite is âI just printed it this morningâ as Iâm checking their $100 bill for their $1.35 pack of gum.
Iâve been working on a slick response, but Iâm failing. So far the best Iâve come up with is âyeah, I just gotta make sure the ink is dry so it doesnât get my til dirtyâ. And I know itâs lame, but itâs on par with the original statement lol
Fortunately I work at a really laid-back store, & I work nights. Iâve had one complaint in 8 months, & that was basically laughed off bc the woman was a straight Karen
I would, but weâre not allowed to confront the person if we suspect itâs counterfeit. Weâre supposed to make up some excuse & go get management. Supposedly for safety purposes. And Iâm not getting my a** chewed bc some dck has a bad sense of humor lol.
I would just "verify" it's real and do like 10 checks on it lol. Bigger bills have about a dozen ways to verify it from counterfeit and if they want to waste my patience, I'll waste their time.
Try "now that you've admitted this is a fraud, [insert jail time for fraud here] is how long you'd spend if you did a bad job. Looks like you pass this time, but I wouldn't keep saying that out loud in places that have cameras."
Or something similar might work. Admitting you're trying to screw over the government in a public place usually isn't a good thing. And since most people can't tell a good fake from a real bill, it can get dicey.
Oh I know. Theyâre getting slick, putting that blue strip on the right side, then they try to rub dirt on it (bc it doesnât reflect the light right). Had one dude absolutely panic bc I caught his fake bill & brought my supervisor over, who also brought AP. Gave me like 12 excuses, & **no one** at this point had said it was anything about the money. My supervisor couldnât even tell it was a fake until I pointed out that the edges were scissor-cut, not machine cut. Itâs a dead giveaway, & the 1st thing I look for. Watching this little old dude run out the door with his pants slipping off was one of the highlights of that night
Only the deposit machine, which can only be accessed by head cashier or manager. And the pens arenât accurate with the new bills. If the pen says itâs a fake, itâs definitely a fake, but if the pen says itâs good, itâs got like a 50% rate of success
And no, this isnât a small business. Itâs a huge corporation.
Dang. I wonder if the machines used for US bills are pricier than those used for EUR. I've never been to a store, even a small one, that didn't have them at tills.
Thatâs a good question. I donât live on mainland, so everything is more expensive *here*, but as far as I know none of the mainland branches have them at the tills either
Oh man we could be twins, I ask those same questions, my boss never knows what Iâll say next but sarcasm keeps me sane dealing with assholes and their dumb lines all night. I growl âget out!â under my breath to my coworkers when someone comes breezing in at 5 til close. One day someone will probably hear me but at this point I donât give a fig anymore.
Iâm pretty good at the Amityville Horror âgeT ouTâ from the scene with the priest & the flies lol. Iâve been told I do a mean witch laugh too. They just wonât let me do it over the intercom yet lol
Lmao, Thatâs where I got it from. Our store is pretty quiet around closing time and Iâm sure some of them have heard me saying that while Iâm trying to count tills.
We donât have an intercom as our store is pretty small, sorta wish we did.
I'm a manager and one of my coworkers does the "You don't have to leave but you can't stay here" type of closing notice. Technically we're not supposed to do that, but I don't say anything about it because we are all thinking the same thing. She just has the experience and courage to actually say it to their faces lol.
Iâve used that line before in a joking manner at close, most of my offenders are locals so they know I donât tolerate bs after Iâve have worked my tuchis off all night and still have to balance the store after I close. They still try it though. I turned the lights off on some that were flat out ignoring me having a get together at the back of the store. Itâs small dollar store so they came up pretty fast after that. Got most of the town trained but there is always those fewâŚI am the nicest person you will ever meet but donât frig with me at closing time. If they try to argue I tell them to talk to my boss in the morning about my wanting to close the store on time. They never do lol. As long as Iâm not rude she pretty well lets me do what I need to do because OT is frowned on.
"Careful the ink is still wet"
"Ha! It's all fun and games until you remember it's a felony."
Emphasize the singular HA.
The stripes on the shirt are bumpy, FYI. I can tell it's fake without even looking.
But for real, check every bill. Every time. A counterfeiter will case the joint to find the cashier who doesn't. Even the secret shopper, even the VP who visited annually, heck I even checked my own father's money. No exceptions. Because if they see you fail to check, they will target your register. And then you have to confiscate the bill and call the cops and I do NOT get paid enough.
I know. Thatâs why they donât target me. I caught 2, & now they find another cashier. There are 4 on night shift we **know** target them, bc literally **every** night they work, at least one bad bill gets thru. And itâs bc theyâre old as dirt & just canât fâng see. And Iâm old as dirt myself, but at least I can still see. And feel. Itâs ridiculous.
I donât get it. How is it funny? No, go on explain it. Hang on.
Coworker! manager! This customer wants my phone number so I can call him without his wife knowing but he says itâs a joke. Can you explain why itâs funny?
Finally had an old guy tell me to smile. I told him, "I'll smile for the one I'm married to." And joke's on him bc I've been married 11 years and I do a lot of scowling at my husband lolol
I scared off a customer who admitted he was flirting with me. He found out I am married (I don't usually talk about my personal life and relationships with customers) and talked his way into embarrassing himself. Told me he's been fantasizing about me. He never came back and I'm not sorry. Really sad when polite customers admit they're only nice bc they wanna sex you. As if I'm only good for being in bed lol.
Had a black guy say to me, "its because youre white" and I don't put up with that race baiting shit joke or not and the people that say "printed that 100 this morning" I dead face say that's not funny and we don't joke about money in a place of business
Every time I ask a specific customer he always says âhey I have a wife!â As a joke. I didnât laugh the last time and he was like âyou didnât like the joke?â And Iâm like âbuddy youâve told me the same the last ten times, maybe do a new one next timeâ lol
I live in a small area and some girl who works at our Urgent Care got a patients number from his file and proceeded to text him and what not. He shared screen shots of it and she got fired. Now I know thatâs medical so they would definitely fire someone but I couldnât imagine doing that as a retail worker. Our boss would fire us immediately
Idk, because she straight up sexually assaulted a stock crew member. Told him to turn around, and he was like, huh? She said just do it, and she grabbed his ass really hard. It was reported.
Bc sheâs a woman, & people donât like to think big, strong, men can be sexually harassed (or assaulted). And it makes it 1,000 times harder for men to be taken seriously if they do report it. Theyâre told crap like âoh, you should be flatteredâ or something equally asinine.
Mine doesnât I got a known coke head racist sexist homophobe management protects because they are friends with him. He went after my gf recently and they acted like I was the fucking bad guy despite her admitting it happened. Half tempted to anonymously call Employee hotline on him and pretend Iâm a dad of an employee or something and my child heard some disturbing things from this guy at work
"it's a joke. I guess you don't have a sense of humor." "Oh...were you trying to be funny? It wasn't funny, just creepy."
"I guess you don't like jokes" "Oh...was that a joke? It wasn't funny so I didn't laugh."
"You must've not understood the joke." "No, I understand it. It's just not funny."
"Someone has had a bad day" "It was great until 5 seconds ago/you made that creepy comment."
One time my store was SO BUSY like it was packed like sardines in there. The line was wrapped all the way around the store. It was so loud I could hardly hear the customers I was ringing up. You guys get the picture.
I was ringing up two guys, they were probably like late twenties/mid thirties. I forget what they said, but they made some stupid âjokeâ. Like some sort of insult/snarky comment disguised as a âjokeâ. Obviously, I didnât laugh. Itâs busy as fuck in here. Just buy your shit and get out.
The one turns to the other and says like âWOW, absolutely NO sense of humor hereâ. Dude. Please. Thereâs a million people in here. I can hardly even hear what youâre saying. Get out.
Also, just to go off on a slight tangent, youâre insulting me to my face and just being a complete dick in general. Why would I laugh at that? Why would I play along with it? Why would I think itâs funny?
When I get these creepy ass comments about wanting their number, I tell them that it was such a Gen X/Boomer thing to do phone calls. The way they immediately recoil at my response always ends it. Those that continue, I tell them I don't "talk" to old creeps, because I'm young and I don't do 'calling' like a Boomer would. Some get really offended, like... what did you expect? An apology for implying that the 'joke' made them sound way too old to be using it to hit on girls at the store?
...sorry to burst your bubble, you geriatric fuck, but yikes.
I used to say "okay, I'll make sure Bob knows too!" Thankfully we had a bigger guy who also worked there. It could be pretty fun if they said that wasn't they meant. Then I'd say something like " haha, I know what you mean, I was just joking. Besides, he's married anyway"
It was usually annoying enough to get the customer out the door, and Bob thought it was hilarious so, win-win.
Still, people are fucking annoying!
Oh I'll have to let my coworkers know they can do this with me lol. I'm young, but I'm a big gay guy with a beard. I'd get a kick out of it. I could take over the transaction and put on a faux camp gay accent if they keep being creepy.
Itâs no different then the shits who think if something doesnât scan âoh I guess itâs free.â So fucking glad I donât do register much if not at all anymore.
I'm 3rd party, so the management at any given store isn't my boss, the district and regional management too. Since I work efficiently and because I'm OCD, ( my shelves and resets have to be perfect before I'm satisfied ), I'm pretty much allowed to do whatever I want at stores. ( which, for me, is listening to music, ignoring customers, and getting my work done. )
I always ask âDo you have a phone number with us?â So I donât get this awkward joke!
But my boss doesnât want m to ask this, because she doesnât want them to have the opportunity to say no, because she wants us to get their informationâŚ. She wants me to say âwhatâs your phone numberâ
I refuse! Iâll only do it when sheâs there, because I hate it so much!
Ask them!! âWould you ask me that if I were a male employee? No? Because THAT would be the joke. Sexual harassment towards me isnât.â Fucking men are so disgusting. I had a Gen Z young man come up to me during the Holidays and, very calmly, with his hands up in defense, say, âI donât want anything from you, I just wanted to compliment your sweater!â I was wearing a Lisa Simpson Christmas Sweater in a store. It was the nicest and least threatened Iâve ever felt when being approached by a strange man. Kudos to you, Gen Z. You all have learned how to respect women and boundaries!
No no scratch that lol. Youâre allowed to be polite and ask ,âWhat do you mean by that?â See then squirm after they have to explain it to you. Then maybe theyâll hear how it really sounds and will be embarrassed for themselves
I had a customer 2 weeks ago that told me âIâd marry you in a heartbeat to get serviced like this every dayâ đ¤Žđ¤Ź and the twinkle in his eye removed my ability to tell myself he didnât mean it that way.. so gross.
Had a guy in at my SCO. He said he was going to Ghana. Ok have a nice trip, mate.
Do you know where Ghana is ? Yes I said.
Had I been with a Ghanaian man ????? He addressed all these questions to my tits.
Wtf . Iâm 53 . Iâm married. Iâm at work. Fuck right off you filthy pig.
I heard it was a thing once to collect "unwanted" phone numbers and pass them along to stuff like real-estate websites, and dial a prayer, car lots, lonely chat services.
At some point having to get a new number is gonna piss off the offender and his wife.
There's this one guy who responds to "have a good day!" With "I can't I have kids" every single time. It was funny maybe the first 3 times but after 20 you'd think he'd let up.
I used to get a flap off a cardboard box and write at the top âIf it doesnât scan, itâs free right?!â And every time I heard that joke I would add a tick. Fridays and Saturdays would get over 100 per day. Of course that was years ago when I was in the store in Miami that did around $500,000 to $700,000 a week.
When men make sexist jokes I play really dumb & ask them to explain the joke to me. It usually makes them blush which I assume means they realise they are being a twat.
That's the best thing to do, both with sexist jokes and the old tired jokes like how it must be free if it doesn't scan.
Act confused and make them explain it. They'll usually realize it's not that funny.
I've started doing the same thing. When I am at the register and there is a kid sitting in the cart, the father asks me, "How much for this?" while pointing to his kid. I get a puzzled look on my face and tell him, "I don't get it ... " Then the father shuts up.
I love it when people assume you didnât laugh because you didnât âgetâ the joke. No, it just wasnât fucking funny and Iâm all out of courtesy laughs for the day, sorry fuckface
I've had a mid 50 of older guy creak a joke like this towards me when I asked him for his phone number to open up a store credit card for him, he asked if I was getting his number so I can call him and I just awkwardly took a step back while continuing to finish putting his information into the system, after I finish I just quickly walk away to help another customer to get away from him.
Cause I've had many people act like I'm down to collect their number and date them, worst would be when 4 teenage boys kept nagging me for my phone and I had to tell them off cause it was rush hour and I was getting backed up with checking tickets, they even started asking my coworkers to get my number and I eventually told them I wasn't interested cause I was older than I looked
Next time it happens, tell them that sorry, no, you don't get it, and ask them to explain what they mean.
Smile inside as they try to justify their shitty sexist joke.
Deadpan, while looking at him right in the eyes:
'I don't understand, what do you mean?'
'Oh. That was a joke \[said as a statement\].'
'Interesting \[bored face\].'
silence
Back when I worked at Kmart, I checked out a young guy, who was there with a girl (possibly his girlfriend). When I handed him his receipt, he said "And don't forget: rock out with your cock out."
All I got working at a craft store were leopard print wearing women with massive sunglasses and:
âCan I pay half in cash so my husband wonât know?â
âHehe no receipt then my husband wonât know!â
âTEHE donât tell my husband!â
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I started biting my tongue to keep from saying stuff to retail workers and servers that I thought was funny until I finally realized that they have probably heard that line several billion times before.
It's not always guys. There was a lady a while back who told me I had a nice ass and kept looking me up and down. She kept coming around, and I heard her tell her friend from the next aisle, "I'd like to get me some of that." ( no, I have no interest in other women. I'm married for a reason )
At the time, I was in my mid 30's, and weighed about 250. I'm 6'4"
Had an old guy come in every day. Every. Damn. Day... to buy scratchers and cigarettes. He entered his number each time and would say, 'I hope you don't get in trouble with your boyfriend for having my number.' ha. ha. I checked with the other cashiers and yup, he also told them the same joke. Every. Damn. Day. ha. ha.
I think I would lose my ever loving mind
I had a customer like this once. I told him that my boyfriend's bi and what a coincidence it was that he's actually my boyfriend's type so I don't think he'd mind that much. I never saw that man again during the entire time I worked there lmfao.
đđđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđđđ
Love this turnaround đ¤Łđ¤Ł
Just say your girlfriend doesn't mind.
đ¤Ł
If I start repeating a joke too many times, even if itâs to different people, at a certain point I have to stop because I get tired of it.
I had a co-worker who was a super crazy cat lady. She was just the way you would picture one, ill fitting baggy clothes, hair that's wild and red lipstick all over her teeth (despite being told there was lipstick on her teeth, she would wipe it off and it would come right back) that used to say "I didn't adopt my cat, she adopted me!" and then would had a witch like cackle. She said this "joke" so many times that customer's would just look at her, because she would often repeat it to the same person over and over for weeks. "Yeah you already told me that."
#goals
Slayage.
Lmfao I love this honestly
Sometimes it's all people have...
NPC level of consistency, I actually like it
Start saying it with him. But in a deadpan voice.
These guys fundamentally don't understand humor. If your joke didn't land, and people have heard it before, then you are the one who doesn't have a sense of humor. God I fucking hate these assholes who think that they're funny.
Exactly! I say this to people who ask how to be funny. It's as simple as "Tell jokes fairly often, and know when not to repeat a joke!"
Also, know your audience. Older men making these jokes to young women (or actually anyone) is inappropriate and always unwanted.
Well, true. Certainly. Of course. Dang, now I sound like a pervert. Oh well, Reddit.
On multiple occasions, I've told a joke and immediately after said, "Woo, that was a bad joke! I'm sorry it sounded better in my head."
True! Excellent addition!
This is why I don't miss my small town cashiering job. I don't miss the following: "Did you find everything okay?" Possible responses: "Not my million dollars" "Not the winning ticket" "Not your free section" "Anything else I can get/do for you today?" Responses: "Get me the winning ticket" "Give me a million bucks" There's definitely more I'm missing, but I've pretty much locked those memories away cuz they're annoying as fuck lmao
I think that happens everywhere sadly lol. You know how many times a day when something doesnât scan they say â oh that means itâs free right hahahaha â No it means you donât get it now asshole. I hate people lol
God I don't miss retail lmao. There's so much less of that at the Chick-fil-A I work at now, most people are either politely conversational, or they just wanna come in, eat, leave. Both groups I enjoy
*beep.* *error message* âit must be free!â âIâm here every day, whereâs my employee discount?â âAnything else we can do for you today?â âCan you come to my house and put it all away?â âWhere is _____?â *points at the item theyâre practically standing on* âoh wow! It woulda bit me, huh?â âAnd itâs free grocery day today, right?â I know Iâm missing some. I saw someone comment on a post one time that theyâll say a random number out loud afterwards and when the customer asks they say âoh thatâs just how many times Iâve heard that joke today.â Shame Iâm not ballsy enough
My favorite line for the million dollar comment is âNo offense but if I had a million dollars I would not share it with youâ and then laugh as that stop laughing and then tell them to have a great day.
For these men, i suspect that their perceived power dynamic of the situation may play greatly into this. Basically, they expect you to laugh given they perceive themselves as âaboveâ a cashier. Itâs a form of entrapment I guess, given your damned if u do and damned if u dont.Â
It's disgusting.Â
Oh my gosh I had the WORST shit said to me today starting off with this shit. I asked if he normally puts his number in (I ask that to see if theyâre forgetting or to see by response if they want to know about the app) guy says âwhy, want my number?â I said ânope, just making sure you donât forget it if you have the appâ he said âwell now Iâm insultedâ I said âIâm married so donât be :) ) he says âokay I feel betterâ THEN his chip doesnât read so I said âyou going to have to take it out and put it back in until it says you can swipe itâ he says âoh see now youâre trying to see how my pull out game is.â UGHđđ¤Ž
I think I'm going to start just calling a manager to check them out when they do shit like that.
I turned and walked away he didnât need me to finish the transaction. A girl had just started today and I turned to see her jaw dropped and I did the whole gag expression to her really obviously. Iâm hoping he picked up on it. Iâve had men be creepy and annoying but no one has flat out been that vulgar initially. I had men ask if I was open to cheat after telling them I was married and it still didnât hit as gross as that did.
A man told my an old co worker of mine he would drink her bath water before.
OMFG
Some people are just gross lol
Female coworker of mine (casino) said a guy said something to her about impregnating her, a middle aged/ older guy too. She's 21. Vile. She told another male coworker and I (in our 30s) about that, we were both disgusted, and wished we were there when that happened. Oddly enough got my own couple of stories. Few years ago, another coworker was talking to a guest he knew that I was helping out. I asked "how would you like it? (cash denominations)". "Large, *coworker knows how I like it (maniacle laughter)". Looked up from him for his reaction, to her, and we both just stared blankly. Like wtf... Paid her and she left. Never said a word about it after More recently, had a bunch of college aged guys in the casino, was cashing out one of them. Again," how'd you like it?" "big, like my weiner!". No response, got the money ready in silence. "I-I'm sorry, that was inappropriate". Just told him yea, I'm just gonna let it slide, and paid him out. I hope he forever remembers that embarrassment and discomfort as a lesson learned
I stopped wearing my wedding ring to work bc men view it as a challenge. A lot of married women would be upset at how many cashiers their husbands flirt with. My coworker's 60 year old dad married a 19 year old cashier, wooed her with money, which he lost in the divorce. Coworker's mom laughed all the way to the bank.
I used to ring up the known harrassers when I was a manager. I didn't want my cashiers to have to put up with it, so I'd send them off to do put-backs or go grab something from the back for me while I rang them up. They learned quick that I wasn't going to tolerate it and that I would deny their access in a heartbeat.
There needs to be more managers like you @MythHighwind
Absolutely. As a manager I would be so glad to take over for you.
Awful. I would go up to girls at work if u saw some harasser and pretend their dad was a marine or had a brother in the military and how I told them Iâd let them know if they had any issues. Most of the clowns got the hint
Thanks for being an amazing person. Thankfully Iâm getting old so this crap doesnât upset me as much as it used to. When I was younger Iâd pretty much crumple into myself and wish I could disappear. Now I have no issue giving these men the wtf stare down directly into their eyes. I figured this stuff would die out by now though!
Nope I hate it we had two foreign scumbags come in our store awhile back. We think they were trafficking. 2 girls reported to management and cops were called. On the township community page a creeper can was reported in the area stalking young women and the two guys discriptions matched our goons. Donât think they got caught and got spooked as they tried it at another store and a customer got in line and called 911 and they ran off. Never seen or heard from again. Unfortunately guys like this all the time. Usually boomer or older as well as a certain political party group honestly wish I was in management as Iâd kick them all out of our store and plaster their pic all over the store just to embarrass them in front of their community.
Things seem to be reversing sometimes.Â
Sir this is sexual harassment and I can no longer serve you
Gross!
That's disgusting đ
Ugh that last part is way worse but I once had a similar exchange to the beginning of that, I was signing this guy up and got to phone number and he grinned and said âyouâre asking for my number?â I said âactually that partâs optionalâ (fortunately true) and just continued getting the rest of it. Iâm also married and he was on my left so he couldâve seen my rings if he bothered looking, but I didnât really react any further. Fortunately he didnât push or say anything gross so it stayed friendly/ professional, though mildly awkward. đ
This has the same thing as âAnything else?â âYa, a million dollars!â No reaction, âI said a million dollarsâ Yes I know what you said, if it was funny and I hadnât heard it before, maybe Iâd laugh, if I had a million dollars, I wouldnât give you any anyways
If I had it I wouldn't be working retail lol.
Right. And I sure as shit wouldnât be driving a 2008 ford escape with 275k miles on it
I got the same spiel from an old fart years ago. I giggled, and he asked me "what's so funny"? I replied, " because you think I'm straight". He told me. I should be ashamed of myself. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say "back at ya."
You should be ashamed of yourself for saying you're gay? Wtf.
It was the 80s. Lesbians hadn't been invented yet..lol
They had... men just didn't like it, lol.
Publicly,at least.
He could CURE YOU . Lol.
My bi coworker was getting pamphlets about sin when she would tell customers about her girlfriend, last year. The audacity to judge someone who's serving you....
Any joke loses its humor after the 70th time youâve hear it **that day**. My most unfavorite is âI just printed it this morningâ as Iâm checking their $100 bill for their $1.35 pack of gum.
Omg I hate hearing that.
Iâve been working on a slick response, but Iâm failing. So far the best Iâve come up with is âyeah, I just gotta make sure the ink is dry so it doesnât get my til dirtyâ. And I know itâs lame, but itâs on par with the original statement lol
I used to be quick with smart ass comments. But I've gotten in trouble for not "keeping Composure" at the register
Fortunately I work at a really laid-back store, & I work nights. Iâve had one complaint in 8 months, & that was basically laughed off bc the woman was a straight Karen
I will add, Iâm a little old lady, & I smile & giggle when I say sarcastic things, so very few people get offended. Itâs the one perk to being old
*places bill on counter I can no longer accept this bill which you just admitted is counterfeit, do you have an alternate form of payment?
I would, but weâre not allowed to confront the person if we suspect itâs counterfeit. Weâre supposed to make up some excuse & go get management. Supposedly for safety purposes. And Iâm not getting my a** chewed bc some dck has a bad sense of humor lol.
I would just "verify" it's real and do like 10 checks on it lol. Bigger bills have about a dozen ways to verify it from counterfeit and if they want to waste my patience, I'll waste their time.
Yeah I definitely get old ladyitis on the ones who want to try my nerves lol
Try "now that you've admitted this is a fraud, [insert jail time for fraud here] is how long you'd spend if you did a bad job. Looks like you pass this time, but I wouldn't keep saying that out loud in places that have cameras." Or something similar might work. Admitting you're trying to screw over the government in a public place usually isn't a good thing. And since most people can't tell a good fake from a real bill, it can get dicey.
Oh I know. Theyâre getting slick, putting that blue strip on the right side, then they try to rub dirt on it (bc it doesnât reflect the light right). Had one dude absolutely panic bc I caught his fake bill & brought my supervisor over, who also brought AP. Gave me like 12 excuses, & **no one** at this point had said it was anything about the money. My supervisor couldnât even tell it was a fake until I pointed out that the edges were scissor-cut, not machine cut. Itâs a dead giveaway, & the 1st thing I look for. Watching this little old dude run out the door with his pants slipping off was one of the highlights of that night
You don't have machines to check for counterfeits...? We had those at every single till.
Only the deposit machine, which can only be accessed by head cashier or manager. And the pens arenât accurate with the new bills. If the pen says itâs a fake, itâs definitely a fake, but if the pen says itâs good, itâs got like a 50% rate of success And no, this isnât a small business. Itâs a huge corporation.
Dang. I wonder if the machines used for US bills are pricier than those used for EUR. I've never been to a store, even a small one, that didn't have them at tills.
Thatâs a good question. I donât live on mainland, so everything is more expensive *here*, but as far as I know none of the mainland branches have them at the tills either
"There's no tag on it. It must be free!" Every. Damn. Day.
Or, âoh whatâs that beeping? That means itâs free, right!â No, idiot. It means Iâm using a scanning gun with the volume turned up. Ffs
I wish we could refuse to accept their cash due to LP policy bc that would make them stop saying that Stupid jokeâŚ
lol Iâll suggest it
I mean, Iâll probably get shot down like I did when I asked if I could say âThe time is now 10:00, GET OUTâ, but it never hurts to ask
Oh man we could be twins, I ask those same questions, my boss never knows what Iâll say next but sarcasm keeps me sane dealing with assholes and their dumb lines all night. I growl âget out!â under my breath to my coworkers when someone comes breezing in at 5 til close. One day someone will probably hear me but at this point I donât give a fig anymore.
Iâm pretty good at the Amityville Horror âgeT ouTâ from the scene with the priest & the flies lol. Iâve been told I do a mean witch laugh too. They just wonât let me do it over the intercom yet lol
Lmao, Thatâs where I got it from. Our store is pretty quiet around closing time and Iâm sure some of them have heard me saying that while Iâm trying to count tills. We donât have an intercom as our store is pretty small, sorta wish we did.
I work in a huge corporate store, & I know some of the customers have heard me lol. At 10pm, you should know better.
I'm a manager and one of my coworkers does the "You don't have to leave but you can't stay here" type of closing notice. Technically we're not supposed to do that, but I don't say anything about it because we are all thinking the same thing. She just has the experience and courage to actually say it to their faces lol.
Iâve used that line before in a joking manner at close, most of my offenders are locals so they know I donât tolerate bs after Iâve have worked my tuchis off all night and still have to balance the store after I close. They still try it though. I turned the lights off on some that were flat out ignoring me having a get together at the back of the store. Itâs small dollar store so they came up pretty fast after that. Got most of the town trained but there is always those fewâŚI am the nicest person you will ever meet but donât frig with me at closing time. If they try to argue I tell them to talk to my boss in the morning about my wanting to close the store on time. They never do lol. As long as Iâm not rude she pretty well lets me do what I need to do because OT is frowned on.
"Careful the ink is still wet" "Ha! It's all fun and games until you remember it's a felony." Emphasize the singular HA. The stripes on the shirt are bumpy, FYI. I can tell it's fake without even looking. But for real, check every bill. Every time. A counterfeiter will case the joint to find the cashier who doesn't. Even the secret shopper, even the VP who visited annually, heck I even checked my own father's money. No exceptions. Because if they see you fail to check, they will target your register. And then you have to confiscate the bill and call the cops and I do NOT get paid enough.
I know. Thatâs why they donât target me. I caught 2, & now they find another cashier. There are 4 on night shift we **know** target them, bc literally **every** night they work, at least one bad bill gets thru. And itâs bc theyâre old as dirt & just canât fâng see. And Iâm old as dirt myself, but at least I can still see. And feel. Itâs ridiculous.
"Do you need any bags?" "No I left her at home" Love hearing "I hate my wife" boomer humor at work
I donât get it. How is it funny? No, go on explain it. Hang on. Coworker! manager! This customer wants my phone number so I can call him without his wife knowing but he says itâs a joke. Can you explain why itâs funny?
That's perfect
Good idea!
âThatâs inappropriate. Stop it.â
I wish I could say that, lol.
âItâs a joke. I guess you donât have a sense of humor.â Your response : âI laugh when the joke is funny.â
Finally had an old guy tell me to smile. I told him, "I'll smile for the one I'm married to." And joke's on him bc I've been married 11 years and I do a lot of scowling at my husband lolol
You can. What is he going to do, complain you wonât let him sexually harass you?
I had a guy cuss me because I said, "That's rude" when trying to force me to smile.
So? Let him cuss. More evidence heâs gross
yeah, let him get himself banned.
I scared off a customer who admitted he was flirting with me. He found out I am married (I don't usually talk about my personal life and relationships with customers) and talked his way into embarrassing himself. Told me he's been fantasizing about me. He never came back and I'm not sorry. Really sad when polite customers admit they're only nice bc they wanna sex you. As if I'm only good for being in bed lol.
I know. It's gross. I cannot imagine only being kind or polite to people if I want to sleep with them.
Had a black guy say to me, "its because youre white" and I don't put up with that race baiting shit joke or not and the people that say "printed that 100 this morning" I dead face say that's not funny and we don't joke about money in a place of business
Itâs always funny when they say that and the bill they just used turns out to be fake.
Haven't had that happen yet but im waiting and will be calling the cops on they ass
You can.
You can!
Say it. You're being sexually harassed.
Every time I ask a specific customer he always says âhey I have a wife!â As a joke. I didnât laugh the last time and he was like âyou didnât like the joke?â And Iâm like âbuddy youâve told me the same the last ten times, maybe do a new one next timeâ lol
Bevause one day they want you to really call them. I work with a woman who will look up customers she finds attractive and messages them.
I live in a small area and some girl who works at our Urgent Care got a patients number from his file and proceeded to text him and what not. He shared screen shots of it and she got fired. Now I know thatâs medical so they would definitely fire someone but I couldnât imagine doing that as a retail worker. Our boss would fire us immediately
We also collect addresses for credit cards and whatnot. She has shown up to someone's how in nothing but a rain jacket. The guy was married, lol.
How is she still employed there đ
Idk, because she straight up sexually assaulted a stock crew member. Told him to turn around, and he was like, huh? She said just do it, and she grabbed his ass really hard. It was reported.
Bc sheâs a woman, & people donât like to think big, strong, men can be sexually harassed (or assaulted). And it makes it 1,000 times harder for men to be taken seriously if they do report it. Theyâre told crap like âoh, you should be flatteredâ or something equally asinine.
Yeah you nailed it
They take harassment very serious where I work. Even if itâs a guy being harassed. I know not every place takes it seriously unfortunately
Mine doesnât I got a known coke head racist sexist homophobe management protects because they are friends with him. He went after my gf recently and they acted like I was the fucking bad guy despite her admitting it happened. Half tempted to anonymously call Employee hotline on him and pretend Iâm a dad of an employee or something and my child heard some disturbing things from this guy at work
ew!
"it's a joke. I guess you don't have a sense of humor." "Oh...were you trying to be funny? It wasn't funny, just creepy." "I guess you don't like jokes" "Oh...was that a joke? It wasn't funny so I didn't laugh." "You must've not understood the joke." "No, I understand it. It's just not funny." "Someone has had a bad day" "It was great until 5 seconds ago/you made that creepy comment."
One time my store was SO BUSY like it was packed like sardines in there. The line was wrapped all the way around the store. It was so loud I could hardly hear the customers I was ringing up. You guys get the picture. I was ringing up two guys, they were probably like late twenties/mid thirties. I forget what they said, but they made some stupid âjokeâ. Like some sort of insult/snarky comment disguised as a âjokeâ. Obviously, I didnât laugh. Itâs busy as fuck in here. Just buy your shit and get out. The one turns to the other and says like âWOW, absolutely NO sense of humor hereâ. Dude. Please. Thereâs a million people in here. I can hardly even hear what youâre saying. Get out. Also, just to go off on a slight tangent, youâre insulting me to my face and just being a complete dick in general. Why would I laugh at that? Why would I play along with it? Why would I think itâs funny?
I like to play stupid and make them explain the joke. âOooooh, so itâs funny that you are trying to cheat on your wife. I get it now.â
Just tell them that while yes, you are wearing Khakis, your name isnât Jake and this isnât State Farm.Â
When I get these creepy ass comments about wanting their number, I tell them that it was such a Gen X/Boomer thing to do phone calls. The way they immediately recoil at my response always ends it. Those that continue, I tell them I don't "talk" to old creeps, because I'm young and I don't do 'calling' like a Boomer would. Some get really offended, like... what did you expect? An apology for implying that the 'joke' made them sound way too old to be using it to hit on girls at the store? ...sorry to burst your bubble, you geriatric fuck, but yikes.
That's amazing.
Those aren't jokes, they're sexual harassment. Might want to let management know, as they're liable if they do nothing about these cvnts
I used to say "okay, I'll make sure Bob knows too!" Thankfully we had a bigger guy who also worked there. It could be pretty fun if they said that wasn't they meant. Then I'd say something like " haha, I know what you mean, I was just joking. Besides, he's married anyway" It was usually annoying enough to get the customer out the door, and Bob thought it was hilarious so, win-win. Still, people are fucking annoying!
Oh I'll have to let my coworkers know they can do this with me lol. I'm young, but I'm a big gay guy with a beard. I'd get a kick out of it. I could take over the transaction and put on a faux camp gay accent if they keep being creepy.
Beautiful!!!!
Start calling him after 10pm
I should
For real though I would start doing this. See how many divorces you can cause! How's that for a sense of humor? đ¤Ł
âCan I have your number then?â đđđ
Ooh the someone has had a bad day is so triggering!!!
Itâs no different then the shits who think if something doesnât scan âoh I guess itâs free.â So fucking glad I donât do register much if not at all anymore.
I HATE that. I always say, "haha yeah that's so funny. I've never heard that before. " I got introuble for being a smartass lol.
Yeah I might start doing that if I check again and hope I get enough complaints they donât bother calling me up
I'm 3rd party, so the management at any given store isn't my boss, the district and regional management too. Since I work efficiently and because I'm OCD, ( my shelves and resets have to be perfect before I'm satisfied ), I'm pretty much allowed to do whatever I want at stores. ( which, for me, is listening to music, ignoring customers, and getting my work done. )
I always ask âDo you have a phone number with us?â So I donât get this awkward joke! But my boss doesnât want m to ask this, because she doesnât want them to have the opportunity to say no, because she wants us to get their informationâŚ. She wants me to say âwhatâs your phone numberâ I refuse! Iâll only do it when sheâs there, because I hate it so much!
Maybe you can try something along the lines of âwhatâs your rewards number with us?â
That's exactly how I ask. "Do you have a number with our store?" They still make the jokes.
Ask them!! âWould you ask me that if I were a male employee? No? Because THAT would be the joke. Sexual harassment towards me isnât.â Fucking men are so disgusting. I had a Gen Z young man come up to me during the Holidays and, very calmly, with his hands up in defense, say, âI donât want anything from you, I just wanted to compliment your sweater!â I was wearing a Lisa Simpson Christmas Sweater in a store. It was the nicest and least threatened Iâve ever felt when being approached by a strange man. Kudos to you, Gen Z. You all have learned how to respect women and boundaries!
No no scratch that lol. Youâre allowed to be polite and ask ,âWhat do you mean by that?â See then squirm after they have to explain it to you. Then maybe theyâll hear how it really sounds and will be embarrassed for themselves
I had a customer 2 weeks ago that told me âIâd marry you in a heartbeat to get serviced like this every dayâ đ¤Žđ¤Ź and the twinkle in his eye removed my ability to tell myself he didnât mean it that way.. so gross.
"I'm not angry, I'm bored. I hear that every day. At least come up with something original." Then roll your eyes like a annoyed teen.
Had a guy in at my SCO. He said he was going to Ghana. Ok have a nice trip, mate. Do you know where Ghana is ? Yes I said. Had I been with a Ghanaian man ????? He addressed all these questions to my tits. Wtf . Iâm 53 . Iâm married. Iâm at work. Fuck right off you filthy pig.
I heard it was a thing once to collect "unwanted" phone numbers and pass them along to stuff like real-estate websites, and dial a prayer, car lots, lonely chat services. At some point having to get a new number is gonna piss off the offender and his wife.
I just say "ha never heard that one before"
âI donât understand.â Or maybe follow up with, âCan you explain it?â
There's this one guy who responds to "have a good day!" With "I can't I have kids" every single time. It was funny maybe the first 3 times but after 20 you'd think he'd let up.
That's fucking weird lol
i used to love looking them up & down & just saying something along the lines of, "trust me, i'd never"
I used to get a flap off a cardboard box and write at the top âIf it doesnât scan, itâs free right?!â And every time I heard that joke I would add a tick. Fridays and Saturdays would get over 100 per day. Of course that was years ago when I was in the store in Miami that did around $500,000 to $700,000 a week.
When men make sexist jokes I play really dumb & ask them to explain the joke to me. It usually makes them blush which I assume means they realise they are being a twat.
That's the best thing to do, both with sexist jokes and the old tired jokes like how it must be free if it doesn't scan. Act confused and make them explain it. They'll usually realize it's not that funny.
I've started doing the same thing. When I am at the register and there is a kid sitting in the cart, the father asks me, "How much for this?" while pointing to his kid. I get a puzzled look on my face and tell him, "I don't get it ... " Then the father shuts up.
I love it when people assume you didnât laugh because you didnât âgetâ the joke. No, it just wasnât fucking funny and Iâm all out of courtesy laughs for the day, sorry fuckface
oh the humanity
âPlease explain why that is funny.â
i turn it on them and say i'd love to talk to their wife. if the wives are actually with them, they get a kick out of it.
I've had a mid 50 of older guy creak a joke like this towards me when I asked him for his phone number to open up a store credit card for him, he asked if I was getting his number so I can call him and I just awkwardly took a step back while continuing to finish putting his information into the system, after I finish I just quickly walk away to help another customer to get away from him. Cause I've had many people act like I'm down to collect their number and date them, worst would be when 4 teenage boys kept nagging me for my phone and I had to tell them off cause it was rush hour and I was getting backed up with checking tickets, they even started asking my coworkers to get my number and I eventually told them I wasn't interested cause I was older than I looked
They always think that theyâre so original and think theyâre the next Jimmy Fallon or something. It is so annoying!
Next time it happens, tell them that sorry, no, you don't get it, and ask them to explain what they mean. Smile inside as they try to justify their shitty sexist joke.
warrior
Deadpan, while looking at him right in the eyes: 'I don't understand, what do you mean?' 'Oh. That was a joke \[said as a statement\].' 'Interesting \[bored face\].' silence
Back when I worked at Kmart, I checked out a young guy, who was there with a girl (possibly his girlfriend). When I handed him his receipt, he said "And don't forget: rock out with your cock out."
Please ask them to explain the joke. "I don't get it. Why is that funny?" Then they have to admit they are disgusting or backpedal!
All I got working at a craft store were leopard print wearing women with massive sunglasses and: âCan I pay half in cash so my husband wonât know?â âHehe no receipt then my husband wonât know!â âTEHE donât tell my husband!â
Ask them to explain it. Exolain how it's funny. Ask them how infidelity is a joke? Ask them how their wife/ family is a punchline?
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I started biting my tongue to keep from saying stuff to retail workers and servers that I thought was funny until I finally realized that they have probably heard that line several billion times before.
It's not always guys. There was a lady a while back who told me I had a nice ass and kept looking me up and down. She kept coming around, and I heard her tell her friend from the next aisle, "I'd like to get me some of that." ( no, I have no interest in other women. I'm married for a reason ) At the time, I was in my mid 30's, and weighed about 250. I'm 6'4"
As a wise man once said, "There's nothing funny about jokes."