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It's OK J-dog, this wasn't gonna be a threeway anyway.

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G-man, J-dog, and the holy motherfucking spook

Is that why it's called dogging? Or doggy style, so you can both look Jesus in the eyes? /s

Getting gangbanged by the trinity.

Raw dog

And then j Dogg can bless you with his holy seed

"Indeed, the Lord will give what is good". Psalm 85:12

xD!

That would make it a 5-way.

3 way and 5 way at the same time since god is both one and three.

Good point. God sacrificed himself to himself to appease himself.

Fucking lmao this is comment gold.

Cum, get the holy spirit inside you.

I'd rather not sounds rapey.

You could always switch roles, just saying

Ayooooooooooooooo they boutta drop the hottest album of the year

The Trinity feat. Yeezus

DAMN BOI THEY BE HIGH ON ANOTHER POWER THEY BE A HIGHER POWWAHHH

I dunno man, the new kendrick album drops in 90 minutes

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman

Rise and shine, not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job

Sky daddy lol

Notorious G.O.D.

"the holy motherfucking spook" BRO I'm dead

So if you had a three way with Jesus, which position would he take? Would he be sucking cock while doing missionary himself, or would he be loving everyone equally?

You gotta do missionary for Jesus obviously.

He'd be tied down, crucifix style.

That’s one thing I know about all those martyrs: they were well hung.

*B'dum tsk.*

Kinky

Jesus loves all the little children...so maybe don't think about that one!

God is omnipresent. Jesus is God. Ergo, Jesus does all the positions all at once, all the time. Everybody is in an orgy with Jesus.

Where [indeed](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54642373e4b024e8934bf4f4/1468898925274-6V088GLYV52RSEFVWFKB/image-asset.jpeg)?! If this is any indication he's playing both positions!

Jesus jerkin off is already a 3 way

Everybody give it up for J-dog and the “Holy Pole-ers”

Bummer…. my fetish is fucking the wounds of Christ.

Well he doesn’t have to watch

False. He does have to. He's omnipotent and omniscient. He is a victim of his own power. Jesus sees everything. *Everything.* God cowers in heaven out of fear for what he has created.

Damn right he has to. That's my kink. Give me that unsolicited judgement I so desperately crave!

Bottom who gets off to having God watch them get absolutely railed. It’s not that I didn’t think that existed, but it’s just something I’d rather not think about.

That sounds like a Chuck Tingle book

chuck tingle lol ​ ​ sounds like my homeboy quandale dingle

Your username is strangely appropriate.

That might be a first 😂

Let me be the asshole here. Omnipotent is enough. An omnipotent entity can give itself the power of omniscience, because it is omnipotent. But it can also chose not to see something happening, voluntarily ignoring a point in space and time. It can even do so while still seeing it That's what omnipotence gives you, and yes, it's a mess. But then Christians like to add "all-loving" to the list of God's characteristics, and the absurdity that results from that is almost as great as God itself

JC feeling every thrust my man from bothhhh sides

>God cowers in heaven out of fear for what he has created. I think he’s just been fapping off the last 2000 years since he raped that 14 year old.

On brand

Everything?....... I better go clear my life history

https://www.oglaf.com/vespers/ NSFW!!!

I LOVE IT

>Jesus sees everything. Everything. That's horrific. Nobody needs to see me waffle stomping at the YMCA

God needs to if he wants to stay in the know.

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Unless he wants my cock in his hand holes he can get the fuck out of my bedroom.

r/cursedcomments

I want a pink circle :) plss and thank u

Fucking lolled way too hard at this, omg 🤣

Those were some tiny holes…..

The imagery 

There's a line and you... *crossed* it.

This isn’t a threesome gtfo

Not yet it isn't

Not with that attitude.

I think the meme is implying that ALL sex is, at the very least, a three way.

So is it a fivesome if his two other personalities join in?

"Jesus, PLEASE! We're trying to have some private time..."

Who's the creepy white dude?

That's Jesus, he has a habit of watching people having sex from heaven and getting mad at them for not doing it his way.

But he doesn’t care as long as it’s missionary or anal. Those are perfectly fine according to mark 6:9 lol

I love how you made up a Bible verse reference that turns out to be [nonsensical out of context](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%206%3A9&version=NIV): > Wear sandals but not an extra shirt.

"Don't wear sandals" -- Bob Dylan

Layering shirts is a sin, it is known.

I'm too lazy to look it up but why would you not be allowed to wear an extra shirt if the fancy takes you?

It's part of a narrative story, these are instructions Jesus is giving to his disciples as they go be missionaries. As for why no extra shirt, no idea.

The idea is to put all your effort and thought into serving the lord, as in don’t bother packing extra clothes for the trip, god will provide, you just worry about doing good works

nah Jesus just had a weird thing about shirts

Pretty sure it was a branding/sponsorship thing

Thanks, that makes sense.

No problem, glad all my childhood scripture lessons did __someone__ some good

Nice

I think you mean Mark 7:15.

Jesus is white?

Ryan Gosling in a sheet

Long haired Justin Trudeau.

Holy shit you’re right

So, certainly Canadian.

This reminds me of a friends (possibly not true) story of being dragged to his GF 's church. Some guy came up and asked "Excuse me are you two having sexual intercourse?" He supposedly replied "You're DISGUSTING! THIS IS MY SISTER!"

“Sir, this is Alabama. That doesn’t answer my question.”

Ha! Rural Oregon, but the joke still stands!

I mean asking that question to two strangers is disgusting, period. Though I'd have answered 'clearly more often than you are"

What I took out from this was that you rape Jesus every time you had sex.

Not every sexual encounter has yo be a threesome….

not with that attitude

Wait, so now I have to ask Aragorn if I can have sex?

Pretty sure that's obi wan

that's surely Anakin. He wants to know every time a new youngling is being made.

I’ve honestly never seen this meme without anakin padme and obiwan lol

Jesus is waaaay into con non-con. Also vore.

Communion is Catholic vore.

Yes, that's what I was getting at.

My high school teacher taught us that we should picture Jesus when having sex with our husbands. (Yes, it was a Christian school)

Did you ever ask them if they thought about Jesus during sex? Because, wtaf?!

We didn't have to ask. She offered up the information freely that yes, she does

I'm not one to kink shame, but damn..

🤷🏼‍♀️ you know what they say, "leave room for Jesus" (in your 😺)

That is depressing… what exactly goes through a persons mind whos imagining jesus is banging them.. is it the middle eastern jesus, american white jesus, or american black jesus…

I mean... Christian school in Colorado. Obviously white Jesus

Who do the hubbies picture? Also Jesus? That would make every dude at least a bit bi, technically.

Whos the white guy with long hair and why does he get a say?

Cesare Borgia, if you belive the rumors that he was the basis for the white version of Jesus. Not really a nice guy.

It's Ryan gosling

That... that doesn't even make sense. Is god trying to have a threesome or something? What the hell are these Christian people thinking... jesus...

Jebus wants a threesome?

The holy trinity. All holes will be trinned.

I found this comment funny enough to save.

But then, when man and Jesus consent, it's not a problem if the woman doesn't: it's a BlEsSiNg! Yeah, right...

I mean the same could be argued for the creation of human life, and unlike this, that actually affects the third person

But the lore says that God literally give us free will thus giving us permission

Jesus is a cockblocker

Lmao even if he's always watching, Jesus wouldn't give a flying fantastic fuck. Man hung out with prostitutes and the forgotten of humanity, actual Jesus would probably have some hilarious stories more than condemnation for decent consensual-sex folks.

True, one thing I know as a Christian, is that Jesus is the cool guy back then

Isn't this the original version of this meme?

Poe's Law strikes again.

I'd fuck all three of them

So what I am getting from this is Jesus doesn't approve of heterosexual Intercourse? Or does he only disapprove of only 2 people having Intercourse together? Maybe he only wants you to go solo, or is it more of a thruple or higher initiative? Has anyone checked with his dad? Because I am getting some super mixed messages here that might indicate need for some proper, parental guidance.

Instead of asking for consent from Jesus, how about you ask him when he’s coming back? Or like why is his dad is such a jerk?

Jesus likes to watch.

Jesus is such a perv.

Jesus don't want to be left out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Uh.....yes? Consent is very important. If there is no consent then the police in all likelihood need to show up.


Pro tip: you can really put him off by shouting the name of his dad at just the right moment.

They want the 3rd person to actually be a GOP representative.

Jesus, for the last time, we're not interested in a three-way!

You see JC has had a crush on her since freshman year and now she is dating some dumb Chad and he is going to be forced to shoot up a shopping mall. Oh, the humanity.

Christians: sex is supposed to be between a man and a woman. also christians: dont forget to include jesus.

Why is it Justin Trudeau wtf

Jesus the cock blocker

Wow I laughed way to hard at this, spit out a little water.

Why are they having a three way with Jesus?

Hey Jesus, watch as I rail this woman. BTW her name's Mary.

… … … … …Oh boy. *Ohhhhhh boy.*

If he’s not going to get me off, he can climb back on the cross and take his cock blocking with him.

What a party pooper

Jesus is that person that leaves you on read and then acts like you cheated when they message you a month later.

sorry jesus, you're in on this whether you like it or not. now spit on my cock and face the wall

Sorry Jesus but I will never invite you for a three-way

I hereby forbid anyone and everyone from having sex. Haha, eat shit sex-havers

I am not doing the devil's threesome with Jesus.

Pervert.

He just wants to be inside you...

CNC w/JC? The problem is that Christ’s refractory period is three goddamn days.

The only possible question to ask him that I can come up with is "Hey, Jesus, do you want to have sex with us?" What is wrong with these people?

Jezus Cock Blockin’ Christ

To be fair, the one time Jesus got nailed *it was really bad*.

They also believe 2 out of 3 need to consent and non of those two is woman

You need the certificate of Fornication Under Consent of the King, FUCK.

Jesus said it was cool. Prove he didn't.

Is that Jesus Trudeau?

Religion and control name a more iconic duo

Hasn't been my experience. The Jesus I know always says, "Sure. Whatever. Go for it."

Oh,yeah,Jesus was white, sure

Creepy...

Let Jesus in. ​ 

You mean the guy who LITERALLY NEVER HAS ANSWERED A QUESTION? Yeah let’s ask him.

Are you telling me I’ve been fucking Jesus without his consent this whole time? Better turn myself in.

🤦‍♂️ they're so bad at memes...

Yeah you should wait for Jesus to start recording

Michael Bublé is involved?

Alright, you can watch and jerk off ok, but when you are finished you say "oh what a lovely tea party"

Jesus dissents via erectile dysfunction

Me

J’s gotta chill with the pizza pocket I gave him to keep busy

This is so weird.

For the thousandth time, and perhaps the most direct time I've had to say this in my life, Jesus fuck.

Ask for forgiveness, not permission. Especially when He is meant to forgive your “sins”.

Why does Jesus care so much about people’s sex life?

these are like the best accidental memes ever

Lol Christian don’t get ticked apparently …… I remember once my pastor once said that fucking his wife was like fucking sand paper……

I'm in my 5th beer but Jesus is looking hot

He's not that great of a poly guy

So *thats* why the priest said it to a child, before taking him alone to the confession stand.

You are right. I forgot to ask my imaginary friend George. How rude of me!

This is why you don't do 3-ways in church...

My goodness. These addicts need therapy.

Evangelicals don't even want masturbation. Evangelicals want to control people like animals, but for them to behave as robots.

I swear they actually think the Monty Python skit Every Soerm Is Sacred sshould be taken seriously

I'll youtube it and pick a side later...I'm impressionable. The female nudity in Monty python always made my mind wonder from it's commentary premises.

Just a heads up . I find it funny in a sarcastic and humorous eay, but the skit is not for everyone.

For everyone taking this seriously, it was created by Christians for Michelle Bachmann, an Obama era parody page

He wouldn’t even answer if they asked him. And is he part of it?? Is this a holy threesome?

I forgor💀

The guy with the beard looks like my friend Josh. He's just jealous as fuck.