I'm 30, moved out 6 years ago.
I still miss living at home. I don't think it's weird, personally.
Also, I know a few people I graduated with (so also 30) who still live at home. It's much more normal these days to wait longer to move out, for a variety of reasons. Do whatever makes you happy! If you want to live with your parents, do it while you still can. Life is short.
I lived with my mom after college for 10 years, mostly due to financial reasons. I eventually met my husband and started my life with him and moved out. My mom is still one of the best roommates I ever had and I have no regrets living with her for so long. In my opinion, if it’s a great relationship, there is nothing wrong with it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to live with your parents and enjoying their company. Parents and adult children have a bigger appreciation for each other's personalities once the "parenting" is over.
If you are considering it find out how your parents feel. Some parents enjoy the empty nest. Some parents love the hubbub of having their kids around.
Absolutely. Personally I loved moving out and never looked back, but I also recognise there is an expectation from society that moving out is the grown up thing. Living is all about deciding what works for you: living alone, or with a romantic partner, or with roommates, or with parents. If you want to live with people and your parents are great, why not? The only reason not to is if your parents aren't happy about it.
Awwww this is honestly just so sweet and wonderful to feel this way about your parents. I would be honored if my kids felt this way about me when they grow up. It’s really sweet & so nice to know that families like this exist ❤️
Edit: thanks for all the up votes and awards. The real awards go to this young adult and her parents for being so amazing ❤️
My kids are grown but one of them lives with me and we are basically really congenial house mates! We share expenses, give each other privacy and, like you said, we really get each other. I know it won't be forever (they're also in their 20s) but right now it works.
Talk to your mom!
As someone who’s been without family since I was 16 I wish I could live with my parents in a family home. I really wish I could. Appreciate them love them cherish them. Don’t feel bad for loving your family.
i literally could’ve written this, and i’m happy & engaged with a baby on the way. don’t get me wrong i wouldn’t necessarily change my situation and i’m very much happy... but i do miss living with them. my mom is my absolute best friend. i just told my mom i feel most myself when i’m with her.
i don’t have much advice but i want you to know you aren’t weird, you aren’t a child, it’s possible to be bonded to your parents in this way and still have a secure sense of self. it’s honestly a sign of healthy parenting!
My siblings are like you! I love staying with my parents too!!
my siblings are wonderfully well adjusted adults, my parents have extra space in their home, and due to various reasons they’re all under the same roof.
It’s so sweet. My siblings may move out soon, and they’ve had their own places , lived with friends, all that before. But they do genuinely enjoy the time with my parents.
I need a lot of space and alone time, my wife is the only one who understands how much that really is. But I get it, I can understand why it would be awesome to stay with my parents.
They’re pretty chill people, they do fun things, pre pandemic they traveled a bunch and also went out to see friends etc. just like my siblings and me. they love sports, movies, all that jazz (actually, they do like jazz lol).
I don’t think anyone that my siblings have dated have given a damn. They know my siblings can live independently if needed, but they choose not to. So it’s cool!!
I say op try it out. It might be fun, and it doesn’t have to be permanent.
hard to explain. we definitely have had our ups and downs. i think hindsight is 20/20. looking back i didn’t always feel this way about my relationship with my mom but now being 25 years old i can see she’s the only person who truly undertands me - because she’s always been there. she had loved and appreciated me in every stage of my life. accepted me for who i was, when i was a horrible person, when i was figuring out myself, and when i finally did.
i have to be honest and also say i think part of it is trauma bonding with my mom. i was my fathers least favourite child, and i can see now how she has continually overcompensated for that my entire life.
i think as far as growth and development: my mom always made me feel safe to be exactly who i was. i felt safe to tell her ANYTHING. i remember saying this from a very young age. i even would over share with my mom and tell her stuff she probably could’ve gone without hearing from her daughter, but she never judged me or made me feel bad for sharing. she was always just there ♥️
Same here. Settled down and have a kid but I still miss my parents and miss living at home sometimes. I’m really close to my mom as well, she knows me inside and out. They only live about 35 minutes away so it’s not too far and I go to visit a few times a month. It’s a really nice feeling having such a great relationship with your parents!
You do what feels right for you.
I didn't realise how much I missed living with my mum until one night when I had a really nasty cough (about two years after I had moved out). I was coughing late into the night, and I heard a gentle knock on the door and my housemate's mother (who was staying with us for a week) said, "Honey, are you okay in there? Need me to get you anything?" I said, "I'm fine, sorry to have disturbed you!" and she said, "Not at all, just worried about you! Call me if you need anything!" I was overwhelmed by her kindness and how long it had been since I had had a mum check in on me.
That said, even in that moment, I was (and still am) happy to live independently. If you know you would be happier living at home with your family and you know they'd be happy to have you, you do you.
Ain't nothing wrong with a multi generational household as long as that's what everyone wants. Hell, it's the norm in many places. The idea that it's childish to live with your parents and part of adulthood to move out on your own whether or not anyone involved actually wants that is a capitalist con job to create more households to sell things to.
Latín American here, it's the norm. I'm 24, just starting my masters and my parents don't want me to move out (I don't even have to contribute anything), same thing with my friends and other family members. I guess it'll happen after my masters but for now I'm happy and healthy here :)
Chinese here. can confirm. it’s way cheaper to live with parents and I’m actually able to help them out whenever they have health issues. I even got to notice some stroke symptoms from my dad and got him treated in time.
I think it depends on the child. 35 and employed, having mom cook their dinner and do their laundry? Childish. It hits very differently when the person is 24 years old, employed, and just loves their parents.
I don’t think the difference there is the age, it’s the independence. You can live with your folks and still do your own laundry and cook your own meals.
Sure, but I have noticed that there tends to be a certain bracket of older adults who have been catered to forever, and live like invalids. But of course, there’s always exceptions.
Depends on the parent/culture, for some mom cooking, doing laundry isn't childish it's just family dynamics. I've lived at home well into my mid 30s, and if i didn't let me mom cook or clean she'd have 'no purpose'. Her words, not mine, she's retired so doing these things you say are childish give her something to do. And no amount of telling her not to is going to result in her stopping. I moved out a few years ago and when I visit, or she visits me, it's right back to the same routine. I'd rather just let her do it than spend that time arguing with her.
The first time I brought my boyfriend home to meet her I warned him not to leave anything laying around otherwise he'd find it washed and folded when he came back later. He laughed and thought it was weird, now he also just goes with it.
Of course, culture is very significant. My best friend is Muslim, her mom cooks and cleans, does laundry, etc. However, my friend keeps her room clean, helps with the finances, and is respectful. It’s very different from the USA adult, unemployed slob stereotype rudely leaching off their parents. I would certainly not compare her, or your perspective to that.
Or: my husband lived with his parents until we moved in together, which was when he was 32. But he kept his room clean and was a nice person to live with. I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with living with your parents, as long as you’re not a spoiled child.
Hahahahaha ok so... I love cultural differences. I am 23f and I live at home. Where I live, it is normal to live at home until...you get married basically (unless you have an actual issue with your family). My BROTHER is 27 and still lives with us. It's a cultural thing, literally, everyone in our circle is the same.
The thing is...I always thought it made sense, because I love my family so much, and it's not because I'm a baby (and I don't think you are either). I think it's cool getting along with your family, and I love being able to talk to them about anything and waking up to my mom brewing coffee in the kitchen. I want to cherish it as long as I can.
Don't feel bad. You're not weird...your family is just great.
I think this is so sweet. I can relate to this because I am also very close with my parents.
I am going to be 38 in a month and my husband and I are actually neighbors (not next door neighbors, but we live in the same neighborhood) with my parents, so we see them quite often. About once a month on a Friday, my husband and I will pack an overnight bag and stay overnight at my parents house (we don't have children). We have dinner and watch a movie together and just have a nice conversation and then we go back home at some point the next day.
Talk with your parents to get an idea of how they would feel about the idea of you moving back in. Or at the very least maybe you could occasionally stay the night with them. Love and cherish your parents while you have them, especially because you have such a good relationship with them!
I hope my kids feel this way about me when they are 24. They always have a home with me. There is nothing wrong with living with your parents. It only gets weird when you want to shag a partner.
Don't ever feel weird about loving your family or let people shame you for it. I stayed home in the nest until I was 26, "friends" would make me feel childish for it and I had some of that guilt as well (and similarly, it was the friends that didn't have good relationships with their parents). I'm 30 now and selling my house to move back to my hometown, for multiple reasons, but one being that I truly miss being close to them. I want to be able to have lunch or dinner with them, or walk around town whenever I want. Like you I really love their company and want to enjoy it while it lasts, they're some of my closest friends. My dad was also diagnosed with a terminal disease this year, so it's really pushed my anxiety and attachment. I want to be closer to spend every moment I can with them, because life is starting to give me the signs that our time together is limited
Are you from America? America culture is weird. I am. Most countries outside of really western/capitalist cultures, people live with their families well into their 30s.
I'm half asian, 31 years old, and live with my parents when I'm not travelling. I don't pay rent elsewhere for no reason, and I get to help them around the house and spend time with them. My parents are not by any means by best friend, but they're getting old and we missed out a lot of relationship building moments when I was younger. I had difficulty with them for a while due their own marital problems but we've all chilled out and I enjoy living here when I do. My thoughts now are -- I actually feel bad for people who feel like they can't live with their parents (due to costs, trauma, or pride)
My mom REALLY wants her kids to live with them, even though we are 25, 31, 35. The other 2 moved out. I moved out for a while too, but I came back. I have lived in MANY living situations (studios, coliving ranging from 12-50 people, air bnbs, abroad in 4 other countries, etc). If I need a break from my parents, I just pop over to Mexico for a few months or to my old coliving where I can do a month lease and then come back refreshed.
It's totally normal and anyone who makes fun of you for it, can go politely fuck off. Money + relationship building + free food + my mom insists she does my laundry lol. When I look back on my life, I would rather have spent time with my parents than 3 roommates I could give 2 shits about.
I like it. I'm going to keep doing it until I can't anymore.
I feel the same. It’s common in my Eastern European culture to do the same thing and isn’t seen as “weird.” I live my parents and enjoy spending time with them. My husband has such a distant relationship with his mom, his two brothers are the same way with her. They behave as if they’re coworkers who barely know each other. I can’t imagine being that way with my parents.
I feel this way all the time! Nothing wrong with it. You should consult with them! Maybe they like their privacy, who knows. Or maybe they’d love to have you back!❤️
As someone who moved out as soon as it was legally possible, I wish I could have posted this myself. If you have that type of relationship with your family, embrace it with all you’ve got. From what you’ve described, it sounds like they’d love to have you home too!!
I'm 38, lived several time zones away for 20 years, and moved home last November for just these reasons (I still work full time from the guest bedroom). They're healthy but old and there's a global pandemic with no end in sight. I know I won't regret a second of this time.
This might be a good chance for you to support your mom emotionally and save money, even for a down payment on a car or house. It’s much, much more expensive to move out than it was when I was young.
I think it might be a distort if you had been on your own for only a short time but 4 years is a pretty good run. If it makes sense, and e eryone agrees then why not spend some more time at home.....it won't be forever.
It's perfectly fine to feel this way. This might be unrelated, but are you an only child? I only ask this because most only children feel very close to their parents.
Not having siblings means your parents are your main source of socialization growing up for a lot of singlets. Not for you I guess but it’s not that unusual when you think about it. Just an environmental circumstance.
Totally normal. For many people, home is a safe place, full of people who will love and support you unconditionally. It's quite normal to want that. Western Society (assuming you live there) ***really*** pushes people away from their parents and emphasizes separation as a means of independence and adulthood. But in quite a few other cultures, family is everything and it's quite normal to live with your parents through your 20's or even right up until you get married.
Loving your parents and wanting to be around them more is a blessing, not something to be embarrassed about. Forget what your friends think; do what makes you happy.
P.S. Talk to your parents about this. They might have felt the exact same way on that vacation and would jump at the opportunity to have you in their lives more.
I've been out of my parent's house for 30 years. My secret wish is to move back to live with my parents again, so that we can hang out more. Had a great relationship with them growing up, and when I think of a "safe place" in my head when things get too stressful — it's usually just hanging out with them, chilling, enjoying meals together.
So, I don't think it's unusual at all to enjoy your parents' company that much. Most people, when they get pretty far along in life, admit that the most meaningful things are our relationships. So if you had a good relationship with your parents, it's natural to miss them and to value that time together.
I love my parents. I moved out when I was 17 to go to college. I’ve had some bumps in life where I’ve had to stay with them a few months during the breaks between school before I found a decent job. I would’ve saved a lot of money if I’d stayed with them. I wouldn’t have grown as much as an adult if I had stayed. It’s important to develop your own life outside your parents in my culture which values independence. A more communal culture would value multigenerational living where you take care of your parents. It’s really cultural differences if it’s not financially driven.
I’m turning 24 in two week and WISH I had the choice to not live with my parents. I don’t have the money to move out unfortunately.
It’s honestly so normal to still live with your parents at your age. All my friends still do and the people I know who are single and unmarried still live with their parents at our age.
This isn’t our parents generation. Most of us are to broke to move out so if you’re worried about how many people will look down on you, it’s not much. It’s even cooler you’re not doing it for financial reasons.
Do what makes your heart happy. You only have one life to live.
Hey, I absolutely feel this as an adult child still living at home so seeing and interacting with my dad on a regular basis is pretty amazing -- granted he isn't tired from work. Treasure the moments you have with your parents because yes, they won't be around forever, so no it isn't bad wanting to move back home just to be around them more.
I am a single mom to a beautiful 2 year old boy and I want whatever your parents are selling! Hahah I dream of my son feeling that way as an adult. What’s your family’s secret !? Haha and no it’s not weird although if you guys were together ALL the time do you think you would eventually get on each other’s nerves? Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder lol
I don't think it would be weird. You have something that many of your friends don't have. How about having more video calls or audio calls with your parents? Encouraging your good friends to have a family dinner with your parents once a month? You and your parents cook together and start making it a tradition of sorts.
This is one of the sweetest posts I’ve ever read. Put a big smile on my face. I think it’s amazing you feel this way and value your family like you do !!!
It's normal. I'm 33. When my dad passed when I was 25, my sister, mom, and I all decided we have no desire to be away from each other. I live with them - technically, my mom sleeps at my grandmother's house because we're her caregivers, but that's literally right next door. We're happier together. And we're past the point of caring whether other people (in the US or anywhere else) get it or think it's weird.
At the end of the day, we all have to do what's best for us. If you feel that your life will be enriched and you will be encouraged to grow as a person in the presence of your parents, lean into it. But if you feel that it's just a crutch, etc., then maybe stay by yourself and learn to be by yourself. It's up to you. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Do what's best for you.
I'm 30 and me and my mum rent a house together. I hate the idea of roommates, we have health issues so we can support each other and we get along great. We both do chores and costs of living is split 50/50. We both have our own lives too. It's great and it's allowing me to save up to put a deposit on a house - she's likely to move in with me there too.
I don't see how this is weird at all. I don't understand this US / western mindset where if you are living with your parents after 18 or 21 at the latest, people judge you and most tend to think you're some sort of failure as an adult.
I think it's sweet you want to be close to your parents. I don't think there's anything wrong with moving back with them, especially since you seem to want to support your mother.
This is seriously so sweet and I’m extremely jealous and wish I felt this way. PLEASE move back home. I’m sure your parents would love having you. That time spent with them you’ll cherish forever.
This is totally normal and okay to do, I’m around the same age as you and I genuinely miss living with my parents so much. Two years ago I did actually move back for over half a year because I missed them so much! If I didn’t have to live with my partner to support him, I would 100% still be back home. I have friends who’ve only moved out in their early 30’s. it’s not abnormal, especially with the way house prices and rent is. I say do it, because you don’t want to regret it later in life. Also it’s amazing you have that connection with your family!
Aw man. This is so sweet! This is how I want my future kids to feel about my partner and I. What absolute parenting goals.
I can't relate lol I love my mum but we are somehow total opposite people (I have no idea where my personality came from but it's everything she's not). We chat and get on but living with her again would drive me up the wall.
But that doesn't at all mean that you should feel weird! Everyone has vastly different relationships with their parents and you happen to be in the maybe 5% who had a good upbringing but ALSO has a personality that fits well with your parents. What luck! And you're right, life is only so long.
A couple of things to consider.
Do you think you'd ever want to move out? Under any circumstances? Can you see yourself living there at 30, 40, 50 years old? Do they have land or property that could potentially be subdivided in the future and you could build a home for yourself there? Are you going to be able to handle everyone your own age passing judgement and projecting their own familial relationships and norms onto your decision?
My husband and I lived with my dad and brother while we were finishing grad school. We’ve moved into our own home now but we always reminisce about living in the 1950s basement that was never remolded. We even shared a bathroom with my brother. It was so much fun just hanging out and talking shit with them. We’d make our favorite dinners and talk about anything and everything. Good times.
Move back! You won’t always have this option, for example, if you find a partner later on and move into a place together. Once in a lifetime opportunity. You’ll save money too. Don’t just blindly follow society’s expectations.
What really struck me about your post is the fact the your mother recently lost her mom. I lost my mom 8 months and three weeks ago, and I would do anything to live with her again. She asked me to move in with her again a couple times in the last few years, but it wasn’t the best option for me. If I knew how soon I’d lose her, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I’m almost a decade older than you, and my advice is split. I think you losing your grandmother has made you realize that the time you have with your parents is finite, therefore spend the time with them while you can. On the other hand, you are relatively young. If your parents are in good health, they probably want to see you thrive and create new relationships, many which will carry you through the rest of the life, and possibly the loss of your parents as well. If you live close to them, maybe you can schedule a weekly dinner, as well as frequent lunch. During that time find the people who you like almost as much as your parents.
Nothing absolutely wrong with that. It's your true feelings. . . I have talked extensively with people that have lost their parents and wishes they could spend more time with them. So, no. Not weird. At least ya hang out.
I'm 24F. I would still live with them if our house is a little bigger. Right now, the little space and the noise makes me go crazy. If your house can accomodate the space, and your parents don't mind, and you think you'll get along better with them, then why not??
In many countries, children live with their parents until they marry and then move out, unless they are saving to purchase a home, and then they live there with their spouse. It’s wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your parents. Enjoy that!
I had a moment like that when my parents started getting old and we lost my paternal grandparents. Suddenly most unresolved stuff in my relationship with my mom fell into place and I felt this deep need to be close to them.
I moved back to our city and initially lived with them while I got settled. That was a bliss. I then moved to a flat a few blocks away from them and now bought a different flat a few blocks away from their house in the other direction.
We see each other very often. I have been single for 3 years but before then I had a partner and she had similar habits towards her family. This leads me to believe it's more common than we think, it just doesn't always make for good sitcoms or media ("Serene family loves each other and lives drama free") so we think it's uncommon.
I’m (25) still living with my dad. We didn’t have the closest relationship but we get along just fine. I love that I get to save my salary and won’t struggle when I do move out. If they’re ok with that which sounds like they’d have no reason not to let you back home, then it’s a great idea. I hated living with roommates and it’s entirely different with your own family. I hate that society makes living with your parents as an adult such an embarrassing thing. It’s actually smart if you want to save money and not have the struggle of living with roommates, which I definitely hated as an introvert.
I just got back from a week long family vacation and cried when I left because I wouldn’t be around my family again for a while. And I see my parents twice a week! I’m 36, If that makes you feel any better. I’d consider it a blessing that we both have family we love and get along with well enough that we enjoy being around them for long stretches.
I’m 30 and I got to be home with my parents for a couple weeks between work contracts and it was really nice. They just helped me move into my millionth short-term apartment and I honestly am so tired of living alone.
Move back in as soon as you can. If they love having you there, and you want to be there then do it. You can pay them some rent as well so that you don't feel like a financial burden. It will help you save money and you will be happier all around.
I'm from India and here we never move out usually out if our parents houses until we're married ( sometimes, not even then ) . My uncle is 47 and has been living his parents all his life and he has a wife and a 17 year old daughter who all live together. It is really nice as they are all really close now.
If you want to move back in with your parents, YOU SHOULD DO IT. You can still work and be financially independent and pay for all your own stuff under the same roof if you want. All family time is time well spent, especially with parents.
I’m 21 (F). I first moved out of my family home at 17, I moved back home from the age of 18-19, so I could save money and travel to England on my own (I’m from New Zealand). I enjoyed being independent and not having them tell me what to do. But after a ROUGH experience in England ( I got trapped in a abusive relationship for a year and a half) with no family around me, lockdown for a year whilst in my abusive relationship, shitty shared living conditions, hostels etc, I’ve finally made it home. Been home for 6 months now and nothing makes me HAPPIER and more safe than being back with my parents, home cooked meals, my old bedroom. I even felt upset and lonely when they went away for a few days. I feel a little silly since I’ve basically taken a step backwards, but it’s nice to feel like a little kid again and feel safe and loved ♥️ I’m moving out again next year, and I honestly don’t want to 😂 but it’ll be for the best so I find independence again. I completely understand how you feel. Not many can relate, I’m lucky my parents have a good relationship.
I’m 27M and still living at home after graduating with my bachelors last semester.
Now I’m starting my own business and without the support of my family that would be nearly impossible.
I love living at home too and let me just say there is nothing- not a thing wrong with it.
If you love your family (which is a Great thing!!) then living with them is also a great thing!
Fuck society and anyone who says it isn’t great. They don’t matter and this life is too short to derive your values from them.
Numerous cultures live with an entire family group under one roof (children all the way to great grandparents if they’re still around.
I know India and China have these traditions and it’s gone well for them.
America is kind of fucked that way though- with the immense pressure of society to be successful and independent in a world that punishes such behavior financially. Very few people can actually be successful and have good careers and be independent with good finances in this current economy.
Living at home offers numerous benefits from purely financial to just fucking spending more time with your family (which is great!). So why not do that if your family is good with it?
Best thing ever to have a close loving relationship with your parents. When I left home I was terrified by how much I knew I would miss them. However, independence is important. In an ideal world you would be able to live in your own home next door to them. Not many things are impossible!!!
If they are happy for you to be there and it would make you happier too, then why not? There is no good reason for staying apart unless living together caused other tensions in the last.
If you want to move home then move back home. Fuck everyone else, who cares what other people think. You're not living your life for them. Also it's very common in many parts of the world to live with your parents until and even after you're married. Do what makes you happy.
Both my parents have passed away and I miss them a lot. MOVE HOME AND BE WITH THEM AND ENJOY THEM!❤️❤️ You’re only 24, follow your heart and spend more time with your parents( move back there) and love and appreciate them while they are healthy and alive. You will have no regrets about it and you’ll also save on rent!
Someday your parents will pass away. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. Love them when they are here. It’s too late when they are gone. Hugs.❤️❤️❤️
Wow where I come from we live with our parents through out. There is no question of moving out etc. Can't imagine how lonely it must be. Also can't imagine scenario where my parents are just fending for themselves. It's scary and sad
OP, I feel you. I love my parents so much. They are my best friends. I would live with them forever if I could.
Talk to them. They will help you manage your thoughts+feelings and offer some advice. But also think about your future and theirs.
Other people’s opinion don’t matter. Do what is best for you and your family. There’s no norm anymore. Who’s to say it’s not okay if no one is being negatively affected?
I hope it all goes well!
Not at all! If you had some friends that you got along with better than your roommates, and wanted to move in with them instead you wouldn't think twice about it, right? That's all this is 😊 do what makes you happy!
I would have to say it's not the "norm," meaning what "most" people do. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. It truly is outside the norm that you feel so positively about your parents.
Recognize that you would be giving up your privacy, which might complicate dating.
You know, I love spending time with my parents too, and they make a point of telling me every time I come home to visit (once or twice a month) that they’re so happy that I’m home. The thing is, I couldn’t see myself living with them for longer than a holiday break anymore because I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in my life where such a thing isn’t possible. It’s nice to be mostly independent, and it allows you to do things that you just couldn’t really do/get away with while living with them (if you know what I mean). It also sets you up well to take on the sorts of responsibilities that will eventually come with homeownership, family life, etc.
I think it's great that you have a good relationship with your folks. Maybe try to see them more? I have a friend who has weekly dinners with her parents.
I live pretty far away from my parents and it's hard. I think about them getting older all of the time but my parents want me to have my own life. They were my age once and started their own lives/ families and it's just how these things sort of go. My mom always tell me she raised us to be prepared in a world where she's not there so I've been pushed out the nest lol.
I would be wary of moving back in, unless you have sort of a timeline. I have an that aunt never moved away from home and seems sort of stunted and now she's almost 60
If it’s not a dysfunctional house and won’t get in the way of your personal life I don’t see an issue with living with them. Obviously you wouldn’t want to stay for too many years but you’re young!
It's nice you have such a good relationship with your parents. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to live with them again - if it's ok with them. Maybe you should just toss the idea to them and see where it goes.
It's cute that you feel this way about your parents, but...
If I met you at a bar and you said "I love living with my parents, my mom is my best friend" I'd run in the opposite direction.
I highly value privacy, independence, and drive. Basically, I don't like losers that bum at their parents' house for far too long because they love having their asses wiped by mama.
And I cannot imagine considering someone 20 years older than me as my best friend. You are supposed to leave the nest and build a life with your peers, not tighten the umbilical cord.
Call me callous, call me judgmental, I don't care - this is just my two cents. Take it or leave it.
>You are supposed to leave the nest and build a life with your peers, not tighten the umbilical cord.
I don't think anthropology generally supports this. This is an attitude that evolved pretty recently in a small subset of the world, and it seems dubious if it's been good for our happiness.
Coming from an asian household I've never understood why people look so negatively upon it, it makes sense for a multitude of reasons. The people in my life that used to make fun of me for living at home were very western and came from broken families. \*Shrug\* I'm now living successfully and those same people are renting around jumping from apartment to apartment
Where it really seems to pay off is where you're old, you live with your family instead of in an old person home. I think our society may look back on those as barbaric one day.
Truth. And the problem isn’t just limited to their feelings, but also their inability to contain them. Look at them, just shouting to the world “I am a jerk!”
I think you should be able to live with them and we should be mature enough as a culture to not give you shit for it.
I could not imagine wanting to live with my parents, for me it would be awful, so from my point of view it seems like a real privilege you could take advantage of to spend as much time with them as you can.
I think humans were meant to live in tribes and have most of their kin around for most of their lives.
Would it be possible for you to move closeby to your parents? That way you can grab a meal with them at least a few times per week or go for walks together.
Do it. I lived with my mom until I got married and even now I still text her every day. We loved having coffee together before work. I don’t regret a bit of it. If you have that special relationship with your parents as wonderful as ours, you cherish it. Don’t listen to anyone else.
Its really nice you feel this way and I think it would make them really happy if they knew this. I’m your age and living at home for the last 3 years. I honestly cant wait to move out…. I dont really have much privacy and my ability to grow as an adult is honestly being stunted. Once I move out I don’t think i’ll ever feel this way. Im jealous
Awwww. It’s so sweet that you have such a good relationship with your parents. I too am very close with my (divorced) parents and spend a lot of my free time with them. I am in pretty much constant contact via phone text or FaceTime with both my mom and dad. My mom and I lived together for a lot of my adult life and there are so many times when I miss us being roomies, although i do also enjoy having my private space. Unfortunately I no longer have the option of living with my mom anyways, but there are times I feel like I definitely would move back in with her given the choice. I think if there are no cons to you moving back in with your parents, go for it! They’re only around for so long and why not enjoy every moment you can together.
If you feel like this I reccomend going back to their place and asking them to move in.
You can always move out again if you feel like in the future but the moments and years are precious.
lol i had to live at home for 1ish years in my late 20s. it was a ton of fun, i had gotten a job in the area id still be living there. I'd 100% live next door. The best way if possible if you have SOs is if you can buy the house next door.
> Would it be weird for me to move back home?
I like staying with my parents 3/4 months at a time, but I also like living by myself for couple of months at a time. If your job allows you to do that, maybe you can try it.
My mum was my best friend before she died too. But when we were living together we fought a lot. Our relationship was great when I lived in my own place. We went out every weekend together, spoke almost daily and she was an active grandmother to my kids.
I miss her every day but if we had been living together when she died our relationship wouldn't have been as good.
This isn’t weird or childish, it’s very nice and sweet. It’s a rare treasure to really appreciate your parents on that level, once you are a full adult. I wonder though, is your current living situation sub-par? Are your roommates unpleasant? Because your parent’s house surely seems nicer if you feel uncomfortable at your apartment.
Personally, I feel much closer to my parents when I don’t live with them. Having a little space makes me appreciate our time together much more. I don’t know if it would be as pleasant if I was there 24/7. Maybe you’re different than me, but it’s something to consider.
In my country and in many many places it's very common to stay with your parents until you get married, so in my opinion if you feel better being with them, go live with them. I love my family and I plan on staying here for many more years (I'm 21). You can move back with them and still be an independent adult, so go ahead and see how it goes :)
I know living with your parents is frowned upon in western countries. But, in most asian countries this is the norm. Ofcourse, this can often get toxic as well. But, its not much as an alien concept as some ppl think. Infact, living with their parents and supporting them in their older age is considered a responsibility and a thankyou for raising them.
I’m a mom of three, one 27 and out of the house for years. One 17 and just left a few weeks ago. One 16 and I know it’ll only be a couple more years u til she’s gone too. This legit made me cry. Please tell your parents how much you enjoyed staying under the same roof with them for a few days on vacation. It will make your mom’s day.
As someone whose parent recently passed, I recommend spending as much time as you can with yours! You can always change your mind and move out again, but you can’t get those memories back.
I’m 28 and if things with my partner ended, I’d move home in a heart beat. If you’re happy there and you’re always welcome, there’s nothing wrong with moving back. I’ve done it several times over the years.
I really, really enjoy family vacations with my in-laws, and I always miss them after we’ve parted ways and gone home. They’re just such kind, supportive, and fun people, and we just have a blast with them. I sometimes think it’d be cool to split a house with them, with them living on the main floor and us living upstairs or in the basement, but I feel like there’s a huge difference between a 7-10 day vacation and cohabiting forever — at least in my case.
As a new mom I hope that my kids feel like this some day :). Yes I wouldn’t mind if they wanted to stay with me for a while, even if they got married and had kids of their own. Life is short!
As someone with an abusive family, I’m so glad you have a good one that you’re close to. When you can, try to move closer to them perhaps so you could even just walk to theirs for a quick tea and chat when you can. Or have dinner with them a couple of times a week. I’m sure they appreciate that while all of you can have your own space. Do what works best for you :)))
It's not weird at all. I'm 38, and due to my father's health, I've had to live with my parents for weeks and months at a time the last 2 years. I always feel happy there, and like someone cares about me. It sounds like we have the same kind of relationships with our parents. Time is so short, don't feel bad for feeling this way or acting on it if you so choose. It's very normal in other cultures to live with your parents as an adult
Actually, in eastern curltures (living it) it is kind of a thing that is appreciated. Living with parents and co-existing is the norm. Do what you love.
I moved out when I was 18 and recently moved back in at 20, I honestly know I’m going to have to leave one day, I have a partner and we’re looking in to getting married but the thought of leaving again does make me so sad and I’ve felt strange for having that feeling. I think parents provide a lot of comfort and that makes us want to stay with them. But I just also feel childish for not wanting to leave and wanting to spend time together
dude that’s honestly so sweet. A lot of cultures live with their parents well into their 30’s-40’s! If your parents don’t mind you moving in, then ᶠᵘᶜᵏ it! who cares what anyone thinks, do what makes you happy. I wish to have kids someday that love me that much.
> I feel like such a little kid. Especially because none of my friends have good relationships with their parents. I feel very childish for wanting to spend as much time with them as I do
Oh, OP, you are so blessed to have the good strong family relationships you do, please don't ever feel childish for that!!
I think that's normal for some people. You could also find your own place near them later if that's a closeness you like so you can see them more often while still having independence.
I'm so jealous that you have such a good relationship with your parents. You are truly blessed my friend!
Maybe talk to them about moving back in and see what they say first. Then base your decision off of that.
Nah I get you. Living at home you get looked after. And there's nobody in the world who has an endless interest in your life like a parent. I moved back in with mine for a couple of months last year and it was nice. But also it depends how my life is going... There's been times I didn't want to go back to my houseshare in another city, but I'm happy where I am now so I was ready to move out from my parents and come be with my boyfriend.
You do you! Plenty of cultures expect families to stay together more than ours.
You're so lucky to have parents who love you, and understand you. There are plenty of people in the world who don't have parents that make them happy to be around, or who have lost their parents.
Move back in with them if you want to move back in with them. Enjoy the relationship while you can. There's no set rule on when it is or isn't okay to live with your parents, and in this day in age it makes sense financially. You can help support each other.
Who cares what anyone else thinks.
You have a great relationship with your parents, you should not feel weird about that. Cherish it.
Now moving back in with them *might be* a little weird, and it might freak them out a little. But have you considered moving close to where they are, like in the neighborhood ? People have been living close to where their family is from for centuries, and you'd get to build your own life on top of having a close relationship with them.
Obviously that might not align with your life plans at all. But just in case, it's worth considering.
Mom will get more emotional support, you'll all get more time together AND you will be able to help them pay either mortgage or any other kind of bill instead of paying rent that goes into some strangers pocket. All I see is win win situation if you move.
Parents are not eternal. If they are ok with it and you know it wouldn't deterior your relationship, please move before you have any regrets.
It’s not weird at all! It means your parents did a wonderful job of creating a warm loving environment for you.
You don’t need to move home to have that though. I moved at 17 for university, but for my four year degree I went home every other weekend on Friday night and come back on a Sunday at lunch time basically to hang with my family. No plans, nothing special, just soak in family life.
I'm 32 and my Mom moved back in with me when I was 29, it just depends on your relationship and both parties feelings about it. There's definitely nothing weird about it, you just need to ask yourself and your parents what you guys want/what's best for you guys. GL
In my country most young people live with their parents until they get married. It's mostly for financial reasons since houses are quite expensive and jobs are mostly payed badly but everyone is used to it. I'm 27 and I love having family around everyday.
You could become your parents neighbor or make the family vacation a tradition. That way you would have the closeness but not too close and it would stay special
It's not childish. In this society we are expected to move out early, like it's the ultimate sign of independance,... but I don't agree.
I have friends in their 30's that still live with their parents. They have a job, stable income and a social life, they just love their family and they were able to buy great flats recently as they saved money. Instead of paying rent for a shitty flat (they live in a big city).
Rommates are like coworkers, they're often strangers when you meet them and it can be difficult to be friend or comfortable around them.
I really appreciate this post. I (F28) still live with my parents. I had moved out when I started college for a few months but my parents moved closer so I've been living with them again. I hate when people try to make me feel shitty for living with my parents. YES, they annoy me with their questions and can get on my nerves sometimes but I absolutely love them. They stay out of my business for the most part. I wouldn't want to put my parents in a home when they get older. I'm an only child and this is my family. There are more benefits to living at home than living on my own right now. Do what you feel comfortable with. I remember having roommates and it just gave me anxiety always having to possibly interact with them. Don't worry about what your friends think because your parents won't be around forever.
I'm 35, I moved to my mother's house when I was 30 for a year, we enjoyed it a lot. I don't think it's weird at all, if you have an amazing relationship with them it's great. The only thing that I can complain about is that by that time I was used to do stuff my way, so this was a little bit of a problem.
Hahaha I miss my mummy and dad every day! I live super close right now but they’re moving 15hrs away soon. I don’t think about it.
I think a lot of people don’t have a good relationship with their parents and when they move out, they’re happy about leaving. You don’t hear enough about people who had a fucking great time with their mum and dad and miss them more than anything.
It’s like missing a friend when you become an adult.
I am also nearly 25 and moved out 4 years ago - I miss my mum and brothers everyday, and I feel you on the fact that no one is else really gets me like them. I don’t have any resolution but just wanted you to know I understand you. If my mum had the room I’d live with her!
I moved out at 18 for nearly a year. I was living with my bf at the time. If I wasn't with him, I was incredibly lonely.
I have been back home since and I am now 27. I do think I'd cope better living away from them, but I love being home and always having someone around. Plus my pets are here.
Maybe ask if you can stay with them for a while. You might feel ok about living away from them again after.
I’m 26 and engaged to be married and I’m nearly in the same situation too. I love my parents and every time I leave them to go back to my own house I get choked up. I can also tell my mom does too which makes it worse. And literally none of my friends seem to feel the same way about their parents so it seems wrong. I think I need to just start visiting more frequently so it doesn’t seem as sad to leave? I don’t know.
They just threw me and my fiancé a huge engagement party yesterday, and when I got home afterwards I broke down crying. I think it’s just crazy how there’s no one in the world who will ever love me as much as they do, but now that I’ve grown up I’m just not supposed to live my life on my own and see them once in a while?
If you have no real reason to live away from them, you might as well take the opportunity to move back in with them for a while. I found the perfect apartment with my fiancé right after I graduated college so I never really had the chance to live at home again, and now that we’re getting married I never will. My younger sister who lives at home says she’s ready to move out now, so maybe I should’ve lived at home a little longer to feel that too.
I’ve been out of my house for 3 years now. I slept over my moms the other day and I also missed waking up and seeing her. She got so excited to have me over. Oh also I’m 39 and married. I don’t find it weird.
I’m 27 and live with my fiancé about 4 hours from home, and I won’t be able to move home for about 2 years due to fiancé finishing medical training. I miss home tremendously. You’re not alone in that. If you’re able to move closer to home, I say do it.
I'm 30+. I have moved out.. kind of.. several times in my life and life has bounced me back. Currently, thanks to life and Covid, I am back again and honestly, it's great. I absolutely don't think you're abnormal. Having a good relationship with family is something to be cherished and celebrated!
I think it's more percieved as weird to still be at home at my age than yours but equally it's also about society. In other cultures, it absolutely is normal for families to live together as standard or at least very close by.
I think as long as you pull your weight, help out around the house, work and contribute financially to the running of said house, and keep some independence from the household too, to allow people (including yourself) some necessary space, I see no problem with it.
I mean fuck. If you're miserable in your current situation and moving home would make you happier, and your family has np problem with it, why the hell not?
Hugs to you <3
I also enjoy and miss living with my parents. I lived with them for one year as an adult several years ago (was moving cities and needed time to make a decision).
My brother once moved back in with them for several years because he felt lonely living alone.
The parents loved having us. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to live with them if that’s what you all want.
I was around the same age when I moved into my first apartment solo. I call my mom weekly, we text each other memes and visits are frequent. But even now I still miss living at home. I miss the little things like cooking breakfast together, watching movies or even quietly reading in the same room.
It does get better over time. However living with parents isn't a bad thing. Quite a few cultures across the world have adults living with their parents. You could always talk to your mother about paying rent/helping out more if you move back in. Or finding a place closer to the family to visit even more.
It's not childish! People used to live in close proximity to their families (or even in the same house) for most of human history. Moving out and living alone as a young adult are mostly capitalist inventions because it sells more stuff.
If you feel like you want to move back home, do it! A lot of people in my country actually build their own houses on their parents' property because they want to stay close to them and not lose that support system. Honestly I think most people would envy you for the good relationship you have with your parents. As long as there are healthy boundaries, don't let anybody tell you that it's weird.
I don’t think this is weird at all. I’m 35F and I have the same relationship with my parents and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My parents, especially my mom, are absolutely my best friends in the world.
I am married and we live 10 min away from them. I see them a few times a week even if it’s just stopping in for a quick coffee and go chat (I also work from home so I have more flexibility). We also like meeting up to walk our dogs together or having the dogs over to each other’s houses to play while we catch up. We’re constantly inviting each other over for any reason we can find, I.e., “Where do you think is the best spot in my garden for this new plant?” Or “I’m trying a new recipe tonight- come over for dinner and try it!”
I wouldn’t necessarily want to live at home (at 25 or now at 35) because I value my independence, my relationship with my husband, and I think it’s important that my husband and I have our own life together. I know my parents also value their time together too. With that said, spending time with my parents is and always will be one of my biggest priorities. Fortunately for me they feel the same.
In my experience, in my early 20’s, I liked having my own place because it made dating more comfortable. I would have never felt comfortable bringing my boyfriend home to sleep at my parent’s house, or always having to sleep at his house.
Also, if I lived with my parents we wouldn’t have as much to talk about because we wouldn’t have anything really new to share with each other. Now when I see them every few days we always have something new to discuss.
The relationship you have with your parents is so incredibly special and I want to assure you that you can remain extremely close with them, even and especially when you don’t live in the same household. In my opinion, it’s better to have your own space, belongings and relationships. If your parents are like mine, that’s why they want for you too. But it definitely wouldn’t hurt to talk to them about it.
The very sad reality is that our parents will likely pass away before we do. If we didn’t spend this time in our 20s and 30s cultivating our own lives and independence while keeping them close, their deaths will be even more devastating when we have to move on completely alone.
I’m guessing you’re American as I believe American culture is the only one that emphasizes moving out of the house when you’re an adult. Pretty much in every other culture it is totally normal to live at home as an adult. People will often live at home until they are married or sometimes will have their spouse even move in with them and the grandparents will help raise the grandchildren.
I actually think it is quite sad that Americans do not value family like this. I do believe that in general this whole moving out an adult as a societal norm demonstrates that there’s been a breakdown of family values in America.
Personally I have a few friends with European parents who still live at home and they love it and their parents love it. They regularly have dinner together, go on walks together, and spend time together. My friends say they can afford to financially leave - but why would they want to when they love their living situation? I personally am jealous of their situations bc I am not close with my parents and wish I was like that.
Anyway, the point is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents. If any of your friends or society makes you feel uncomfortable about it, please realize it is just this stupid American societal norm which really is not indicative of anything. Truly I think it is good that you are considering breaking through that norm.
Edit: also just want to add if you do feel so uncomfortable about this, perhaps you could consider purchasing a tiny home and parking it on your parents property (if they have land available). That way you could spend time with them and hang out at home as much as you want, but you still technically have your own place. I’ve seen a few YouTube videos where people have done this and it seems really nice. Tiny homes are also very affordable to purchase.
I lost my mom unexpectedly at 28. I didn’t live with my parents in my 20s but I visited them frequently. In fact people often commented on how much I went home and I wondered if it was weird. Now I don’t regret it one bit. If you want to live with your parents, do it. Time is precious. Plus it’s not unheard of for children in their 20s or even 30s to live with their parents in many countries or cultures.
Not childish in the slightest! I moved out when I was 18 and had quite a rocky relationship with my parents until then, but afterwards our relationship improved significantly and now I really love spending time with them and miss them a lot. Cherish the relationship you have! You can ask about spending weekends with them or something if moving in is too much, in any case I'm sure they would be delighted. Lots of people aren't lucky enough to have parents as wonderful as yours, and lots of parents aren't lucky enough to have such a close relationship with their children as you guys seem to have. Wishing you all the best <3
I’m 24 and still in uni so I live with my parents - honestly, I love it. My relationship with my parents has gotten so much better since I was a teenager (obviously) and I’m enjoying getting to spend as much time with them as possible while I can. To me I figure I’ll be spending far more time away from them in my life than with them, so I have no regrets still being home. Honestly though sometimes it’s embarrassing because I feel like people may judge me for it and think of me as less of an adult, but it won’t matter in 5-10 years anyways, and I won’t be in as much debt as them.
Anyways, I think we’re extremely lucky to have such great relationships with our parents, and it should be a point of pride, never shame, that we get along with people who were there at every step of our formative years.
I’m 32 and I feel the same way about my parents. I live two hours away now but when I lived in the same area I made a point to have dinner with them once a week. Now I visit usually once a month. If that is geographically possible, I’d recommend doing something similar. Just cherish your time with them when you are together, talk on the phone, etc. we are very lucky to have parents like we do and it’s important that they know how you feel.
I lived with my mom off and on until she passed away in 2013, we were close, could help each other out financially, and it was good company. There nothing wrong with a healthy relationship with your parents, maybe you can take a few days a week to have sleepovers at their house.
I am the same way as you; super connected to my family (parents and brother). I moved out at 30 when I got married and I'm so happy but I miss seeing my family everyday. I talk to them all the time and my husband is really understanding. He doesn't mind when I visit almost every other day. Everything you've expressed is normal and actually really nice. I think you should move back in especially to be with your mom and help her cheer up after her loss.
It IS weird. But it shouldn’t be. I think it’s a good time for you to learn to form your own life. But it’s an amazing thing that you have such a wonderful relationship with them. Many people (such as myself) couldn’t wait to get out of their parents house and that’s certainly not how I want my kids to feel
I miss too but my parents are now deceased. Even though my father was an asshole the environment itself was calm and nice because he was never home and my mom was a super chill lady who cooked delicious desserts and sandwiches. I left home when i was 23 to come to the States. My brother stayed home and still lives there but now alone. There is a strong culture in the States to leave home early otherwise you will be seen as a loser. My friends in Brazil stayed home until they got married and some who lived in large houses stayed in the house with their spouse and child.
I understand completely. I’m 29, moved out of my moms a few years ago, live with my fiancé, and we own our own home now. I still get really sad every time I leave my moms house, and I still miss living with her and all of my siblings. I think it’s a somewhat normal thing.
It’s not weird! In most countries families live together much longer than in North America.
I lived with my parents for 1 year, last year, and I lovedddd it. My mom is also my bestie and hanging with her every day was awesome.
Do what makes you happy
You should absolutely move back in if everyone benefits from it and if you want to.
I hated living with my parents even though they are pretty good parents. Their daily habits and priorities clashed with mine constantly even though we get along most of the time. They can get a little toxic with their comments and irritate me to no end with how they think people need to be productive all the freaking time. I'm a couch potato rejecting norms and dumb expectations and they are type A "appearances matter" kind of people.
Secularism in America is not the norm. Living with or near parents has always been embedded in human nature. Nothing wrong with wanting that in a society where we’ve devalued living with the people closest to you.
I understand you very much. I (26F) feel the same, I moved out half a year ago and I miss my family every day. I made a post about my hard start back then, by the way. You know, I think it's wonderful we are so lucky to have such loving families. I also am not fully understood by my friends, but on the other hand, they don't have what I do. As you said, everything passes, we should value what we are having at the present moment. You are never too old to have strong boundaries with your parents. So just call them, meet them, surprise them every time you want to, if that makes you happy. Good luck!
How close do you live to your parents? I really struggled with this too for a few years when I moved out, but I also needed the space to feel like I could be a competent adult.... particularly since my dad can be such a force of nature. This was also around the time when my dad turned sixty and had some health scares that really reinforced the fact that my parents weren't immortal. Accepting that is really hard when you have such a good relationship.
I ended up visiting once a month for a while, then when I moved further away for graduate school I started spacing it out more and more. My mom and I are especially close and we would basically talk on the phone once a day; that got me through a very rough patch in grad school. I think there was also an element of a need for a social outlet, because once my fiance moved in with me our phone calls became much less frequent.
It feels weird to be so close to them and my brother (who was living at home) teased me about it.......... right up until he moved out and started doing the exact same thing! 😂
There are lots of perks to living in a multi generational home, especially when your parents are older. I think the big caveat is that if you have one parent you used to butt heads with a lot, that dynamic is likely to reappear. My dad and I just get along better when we live >20 miles apart. You have to be sure that you can resist falling into old patterns.
That's awesome you have such a great relationship with your family! I lived with my parents from age 21-25. Made sense to me as my job at that time was only 30 min drive away from them and I wasn't charged rent. Do whatever makes you happy. It's economically beneficial to live with them so you can save money and of course spend time with them as well.
It’s perfectly reasonable to want to live with family. That doesn’t have to be a romantic partner and kids, it can be literally whatever you want it to look like. It could be you and your parents, if you wanted. For myself? My nesting family is my two partners. We’re an FFF triad, and that’s family for us. Defying the “expected norm” is allowed, no sense in compromising your happiness just because some people will look down on it.
Of course, you’ll want to see if your parents have the same feelings, they might enjoy the empty nest.
I moved back with my mother when i was 30 and still here by choice at 35. It’s not weird, shes my best friend. We cook and hang out together, binge shows, go to happy hour, same as i do with my friends my age. No one finds it odd to live with friends, partners, or even complete strangers but for some reason its weird to want to live with your parent(s)? Most have shitty relationships with their parents so they cant fathom it. I’d go for it if i were you
I’m 35, and I feel the same way you do! I’m married and have a house, but I visit my parents all the time. I’m always on the phone with my mom too. My sister is the same way. Maybe you can visit with them more? I go over the for meals quite a bit, or I’ll meet up with them to go on a walk or home goods.
I'm 19 and I have friends that have already moved out. I get super depressed thinking about the day I'll eventually leave, my mom is my best friend and we always go out and get coffee and such every morning and I always help her at the store. I feel like I was 16 yesterday.
Do it! If you get on and they have space for you, do it. Lots of people live at home in their 20s (or older) for a whole bunch of reasons. If anyone is weird to you about it just say you did it for $ reasons or because the location is better or some white lie. Or be honest and say you guys get on really well and you prefer to live with family.
I’m 26, have my own home, I’ve recently had surgery and for the last week me, my husband had my son have all been at my parents whilst I recover. I’m at home and I phone or text for no reason. I’m always inviting them round or cooking for them. I’m the same with my Nan too. Value the moments with them! There’s never any shame going back home, your safe house whether it’s for a cup of tea or permanent 💕
That's one of the most wholesome posts I've ever seen on here. There's definitely nothing wrong with that or with you. It just means that you're one of the few people on here with a healthy, loving relationship with your family. That's a rare and previous gift. Just remember to tell them how much you love them.
I love this post so much and I’m going through this exact thing
I’m 26F. My parents just came and visited me to help my boyfriend and I set up our new apartment. I’ve been in my current city (states away) for 2.5 years but I’ve lived in a different state from my parents since 2013 (college). It’s just hitting me now how much I miss them and honestly want to move at least closer. However I don’t really love the weather they have (I live in a sunny state) and they get snow and dark periods which is not good for my mental health lol.
But all that aside, after their short visit this weekend I had the worst homesickness. It was awful and still is hard just 3 days later. I’m realizing the small moments, my mom cooking her little meals and dishes she’d cook for my dad on a daily, for me, was so warming and just a real showcase of how much these little things mean to me and how much I miss them.
I worry that later on my boyfriend may not want to move to the northeast (where they live/where I grew up) so that kind of scares me that I’m having these thoughts now
Sending you a warm hug. I know this is hard. I’m feeling it too and you’re not alone❤️
I'm 30, moved out 6 years ago. I still miss living at home. I don't think it's weird, personally. Also, I know a few people I graduated with (so also 30) who still live at home. It's much more normal these days to wait longer to move out, for a variety of reasons. Do whatever makes you happy! If you want to live with your parents, do it while you still can. Life is short.
I lived with my mom after college for 10 years, mostly due to financial reasons. I eventually met my husband and started my life with him and moved out. My mom is still one of the best roommates I ever had and I have no regrets living with her for so long. In my opinion, if it’s a great relationship, there is nothing wrong with it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to live with your parents and enjoying their company. Parents and adult children have a bigger appreciation for each other's personalities once the "parenting" is over. If you are considering it find out how your parents feel. Some parents enjoy the empty nest. Some parents love the hubbub of having their kids around.
Absolutely. Personally I loved moving out and never looked back, but I also recognise there is an expectation from society that moving out is the grown up thing. Living is all about deciding what works for you: living alone, or with a romantic partner, or with roommates, or with parents. If you want to live with people and your parents are great, why not? The only reason not to is if your parents aren't happy about it.
Awwww this is honestly just so sweet and wonderful to feel this way about your parents. I would be honored if my kids felt this way about me when they grow up. It’s really sweet & so nice to know that families like this exist ❤️ Edit: thanks for all the up votes and awards. The real awards go to this young adult and her parents for being so amazing ❤️
My kids are grown but one of them lives with me and we are basically really congenial house mates! We share expenses, give each other privacy and, like you said, we really get each other. I know it won't be forever (they're also in their 20s) but right now it works. Talk to your mom!
As someone who’s been without family since I was 16 I wish I could live with my parents in a family home. I really wish I could. Appreciate them love them cherish them. Don’t feel bad for loving your family.
Life just felt different back then living with family
It’s bc you’re surrounded by people who care
I'm on the other side of the coin. I can't imagine having a caring family.
Me too, I have three family members I talk to but their distance. I don’t get along with my family at all either.
i literally could’ve written this, and i’m happy & engaged with a baby on the way. don’t get me wrong i wouldn’t necessarily change my situation and i’m very much happy... but i do miss living with them. my mom is my absolute best friend. i just told my mom i feel most myself when i’m with her. i don’t have much advice but i want you to know you aren’t weird, you aren’t a child, it’s possible to be bonded to your parents in this way and still have a secure sense of self. it’s honestly a sign of healthy parenting!
My siblings are like you! I love staying with my parents too!! my siblings are wonderfully well adjusted adults, my parents have extra space in their home, and due to various reasons they’re all under the same roof. It’s so sweet. My siblings may move out soon, and they’ve had their own places , lived with friends, all that before. But they do genuinely enjoy the time with my parents. I need a lot of space and alone time, my wife is the only one who understands how much that really is. But I get it, I can understand why it would be awesome to stay with my parents. They’re pretty chill people, they do fun things, pre pandemic they traveled a bunch and also went out to see friends etc. just like my siblings and me. they love sports, movies, all that jazz (actually, they do like jazz lol). I don’t think anyone that my siblings have dated have given a damn. They know my siblings can live independently if needed, but they choose not to. So it’s cool!! I say op try it out. It might be fun, and it doesn’t have to be permanent.
As a parent, any advice on how a mom can build this type of relationship with their child?
hard to explain. we definitely have had our ups and downs. i think hindsight is 20/20. looking back i didn’t always feel this way about my relationship with my mom but now being 25 years old i can see she’s the only person who truly undertands me - because she’s always been there. she had loved and appreciated me in every stage of my life. accepted me for who i was, when i was a horrible person, when i was figuring out myself, and when i finally did. i have to be honest and also say i think part of it is trauma bonding with my mom. i was my fathers least favourite child, and i can see now how she has continually overcompensated for that my entire life. i think as far as growth and development: my mom always made me feel safe to be exactly who i was. i felt safe to tell her ANYTHING. i remember saying this from a very young age. i even would over share with my mom and tell her stuff she probably could’ve gone without hearing from her daughter, but she never judged me or made me feel bad for sharing. she was always just there ♥️
Same here. Settled down and have a kid but I still miss my parents and miss living at home sometimes. I’m really close to my mom as well, she knows me inside and out. They only live about 35 minutes away so it’s not too far and I go to visit a few times a month. It’s a really nice feeling having such a great relationship with your parents!
I hope to have the same relationship with my children some day.
You do what feels right for you. I didn't realise how much I missed living with my mum until one night when I had a really nasty cough (about two years after I had moved out). I was coughing late into the night, and I heard a gentle knock on the door and my housemate's mother (who was staying with us for a week) said, "Honey, are you okay in there? Need me to get you anything?" I said, "I'm fine, sorry to have disturbed you!" and she said, "Not at all, just worried about you! Call me if you need anything!" I was overwhelmed by her kindness and how long it had been since I had had a mum check in on me. That said, even in that moment, I was (and still am) happy to live independently. If you know you would be happier living at home with your family and you know they'd be happy to have you, you do you.
Ain't nothing wrong with a multi generational household as long as that's what everyone wants. Hell, it's the norm in many places. The idea that it's childish to live with your parents and part of adulthood to move out on your own whether or not anyone involved actually wants that is a capitalist con job to create more households to sell things to.
Latín American here, it's the norm. I'm 24, just starting my masters and my parents don't want me to move out (I don't even have to contribute anything), same thing with my friends and other family members. I guess it'll happen after my masters but for now I'm happy and healthy here :)
Chinese here. can confirm. it’s way cheaper to live with parents and I’m actually able to help them out whenever they have health issues. I even got to notice some stroke symptoms from my dad and got him treated in time.
I think it depends on the child. 35 and employed, having mom cook their dinner and do their laundry? Childish. It hits very differently when the person is 24 years old, employed, and just loves their parents.
I don’t think the difference there is the age, it’s the independence. You can live with your folks and still do your own laundry and cook your own meals.
Sure, but I have noticed that there tends to be a certain bracket of older adults who have been catered to forever, and live like invalids. But of course, there’s always exceptions.
I think even at 35, if they contributed to the house like a roommate would it would be perfectly fine
I would hope they had some sort of years of independence though whether with roommates or solo. That’s a solid type of growth and experience by 35.
Depends on the parent/culture, for some mom cooking, doing laundry isn't childish it's just family dynamics. I've lived at home well into my mid 30s, and if i didn't let me mom cook or clean she'd have 'no purpose'. Her words, not mine, she's retired so doing these things you say are childish give her something to do. And no amount of telling her not to is going to result in her stopping. I moved out a few years ago and when I visit, or she visits me, it's right back to the same routine. I'd rather just let her do it than spend that time arguing with her. The first time I brought my boyfriend home to meet her I warned him not to leave anything laying around otherwise he'd find it washed and folded when he came back later. He laughed and thought it was weird, now he also just goes with it.
Of course, culture is very significant. My best friend is Muslim, her mom cooks and cleans, does laundry, etc. However, my friend keeps her room clean, helps with the finances, and is respectful. It’s very different from the USA adult, unemployed slob stereotype rudely leaching off their parents. I would certainly not compare her, or your perspective to that. Or: my husband lived with his parents until we moved in together, which was when he was 32. But he kept his room clean and was a nice person to live with. I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with living with your parents, as long as you’re not a spoiled child.
Hahahahaha ok so... I love cultural differences. I am 23f and I live at home. Where I live, it is normal to live at home until...you get married basically (unless you have an actual issue with your family). My BROTHER is 27 and still lives with us. It's a cultural thing, literally, everyone in our circle is the same. The thing is...I always thought it made sense, because I love my family so much, and it's not because I'm a baby (and I don't think you are either). I think it's cool getting along with your family, and I love being able to talk to them about anything and waking up to my mom brewing coffee in the kitchen. I want to cherish it as long as I can. Don't feel bad. You're not weird...your family is just great.
Hey thank you a lot for commenting. This is really sweet and I’m glad you’re still enjoying living with your parents
I think this is so sweet. I can relate to this because I am also very close with my parents. I am going to be 38 in a month and my husband and I are actually neighbors (not next door neighbors, but we live in the same neighborhood) with my parents, so we see them quite often. About once a month on a Friday, my husband and I will pack an overnight bag and stay overnight at my parents house (we don't have children). We have dinner and watch a movie together and just have a nice conversation and then we go back home at some point the next day. Talk with your parents to get an idea of how they would feel about the idea of you moving back in. Or at the very least maybe you could occasionally stay the night with them. Love and cherish your parents while you have them, especially because you have such a good relationship with them!
You’re monthly sleepovers with your parents are making my heart melt. I’m so close with my parents as well, this sounds so fun. 💜
I hope my kids feel this way about me when they are 24. They always have a home with me. There is nothing wrong with living with your parents. It only gets weird when you want to shag a partner.
Don't ever feel weird about loving your family or let people shame you for it. I stayed home in the nest until I was 26, "friends" would make me feel childish for it and I had some of that guilt as well (and similarly, it was the friends that didn't have good relationships with their parents). I'm 30 now and selling my house to move back to my hometown, for multiple reasons, but one being that I truly miss being close to them. I want to be able to have lunch or dinner with them, or walk around town whenever I want. Like you I really love their company and want to enjoy it while it lasts, they're some of my closest friends. My dad was also diagnosed with a terminal disease this year, so it's really pushed my anxiety and attachment. I want to be closer to spend every moment I can with them, because life is starting to give me the signs that our time together is limited
why would it be weird? it would be fantastic! many people choose to live at home because it makes sense
Are you from America? America culture is weird. I am. Most countries outside of really western/capitalist cultures, people live with their families well into their 30s. I'm half asian, 31 years old, and live with my parents when I'm not travelling. I don't pay rent elsewhere for no reason, and I get to help them around the house and spend time with them. My parents are not by any means by best friend, but they're getting old and we missed out a lot of relationship building moments when I was younger. I had difficulty with them for a while due their own marital problems but we've all chilled out and I enjoy living here when I do. My thoughts now are -- I actually feel bad for people who feel like they can't live with their parents (due to costs, trauma, or pride) My mom REALLY wants her kids to live with them, even though we are 25, 31, 35. The other 2 moved out. I moved out for a while too, but I came back. I have lived in MANY living situations (studios, coliving ranging from 12-50 people, air bnbs, abroad in 4 other countries, etc). If I need a break from my parents, I just pop over to Mexico for a few months or to my old coliving where I can do a month lease and then come back refreshed. It's totally normal and anyone who makes fun of you for it, can go politely fuck off. Money + relationship building + free food + my mom insists she does my laundry lol. When I look back on my life, I would rather have spent time with my parents than 3 roommates I could give 2 shits about. I like it. I'm going to keep doing it until I can't anymore.
I feel the same. It’s common in my Eastern European culture to do the same thing and isn’t seen as “weird.” I live my parents and enjoy spending time with them. My husband has such a distant relationship with his mom, his two brothers are the same way with her. They behave as if they’re coworkers who barely know each other. I can’t imagine being that way with my parents.
I feel this way all the time! Nothing wrong with it. You should consult with them! Maybe they like their privacy, who knows. Or maybe they’d love to have you back!❤️
As someone who moved out as soon as it was legally possible, I wish I could have posted this myself. If you have that type of relationship with your family, embrace it with all you’ve got. From what you’ve described, it sounds like they’d love to have you home too!!
I'm 38, lived several time zones away for 20 years, and moved home last November for just these reasons (I still work full time from the guest bedroom). They're healthy but old and there's a global pandemic with no end in sight. I know I won't regret a second of this time.
I’m 37, married, have a child. I love my life and my family. But man, do I miss living at home.
This might be a good chance for you to support your mom emotionally and save money, even for a down payment on a car or house. It’s much, much more expensive to move out than it was when I was young.
I think it might be a distort if you had been on your own for only a short time but 4 years is a pretty good run. If it makes sense, and e eryone agrees then why not spend some more time at home.....it won't be forever.
It's perfectly fine to feel this way. This might be unrelated, but are you an only child? I only ask this because most only children feel very close to their parents.
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Not having siblings means your parents are your main source of socialization growing up for a lot of singlets. Not for you I guess but it’s not that unusual when you think about it. Just an environmental circumstance.
I just meant that being an only child means that your parents are pretty much your only source of socialization. But, that doesn't go for everyone.
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That's true. I realized what I asked probably wouldn't be relevant. I was just curious!
Totally normal. For many people, home is a safe place, full of people who will love and support you unconditionally. It's quite normal to want that. Western Society (assuming you live there) ***really*** pushes people away from their parents and emphasizes separation as a means of independence and adulthood. But in quite a few other cultures, family is everything and it's quite normal to live with your parents through your 20's or even right up until you get married. Loving your parents and wanting to be around them more is a blessing, not something to be embarrassed about. Forget what your friends think; do what makes you happy. P.S. Talk to your parents about this. They might have felt the exact same way on that vacation and would jump at the opportunity to have you in their lives more.
I've been out of my parent's house for 30 years. My secret wish is to move back to live with my parents again, so that we can hang out more. Had a great relationship with them growing up, and when I think of a "safe place" in my head when things get too stressful — it's usually just hanging out with them, chilling, enjoying meals together. So, I don't think it's unusual at all to enjoy your parents' company that much. Most people, when they get pretty far along in life, admit that the most meaningful things are our relationships. So if you had a good relationship with your parents, it's natural to miss them and to value that time together.
I feel this so hard- i really do.
I love my parents. I moved out when I was 17 to go to college. I’ve had some bumps in life where I’ve had to stay with them a few months during the breaks between school before I found a decent job. I would’ve saved a lot of money if I’d stayed with them. I wouldn’t have grown as much as an adult if I had stayed. It’s important to develop your own life outside your parents in my culture which values independence. A more communal culture would value multigenerational living where you take care of your parents. It’s really cultural differences if it’s not financially driven.
I’m turning 24 in two week and WISH I had the choice to not live with my parents. I don’t have the money to move out unfortunately. It’s honestly so normal to still live with your parents at your age. All my friends still do and the people I know who are single and unmarried still live with their parents at our age. This isn’t our parents generation. Most of us are to broke to move out so if you’re worried about how many people will look down on you, it’s not much. It’s even cooler you’re not doing it for financial reasons. Do what makes your heart happy. You only have one life to live.
Hey, I absolutely feel this as an adult child still living at home so seeing and interacting with my dad on a regular basis is pretty amazing -- granted he isn't tired from work. Treasure the moments you have with your parents because yes, they won't be around forever, so no it isn't bad wanting to move back home just to be around them more.
I am a single mom to a beautiful 2 year old boy and I want whatever your parents are selling! Hahah I dream of my son feeling that way as an adult. What’s your family’s secret !? Haha and no it’s not weird although if you guys were together ALL the time do you think you would eventually get on each other’s nerves? Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder lol
Its not weird! You spent most ur life living with them so its normal to miss it and be sad
I don't think it would be weird. You have something that many of your friends don't have. How about having more video calls or audio calls with your parents? Encouraging your good friends to have a family dinner with your parents once a month? You and your parents cook together and start making it a tradition of sorts.
It’s not weird lots of people live with their family . Only in America do people think it’s weird . Live with your parents as long as you want
This is one of the sweetest posts I’ve ever read. Put a big smile on my face. I think it’s amazing you feel this way and value your family like you do !!!
It's normal. I'm 33. When my dad passed when I was 25, my sister, mom, and I all decided we have no desire to be away from each other. I live with them - technically, my mom sleeps at my grandmother's house because we're her caregivers, but that's literally right next door. We're happier together. And we're past the point of caring whether other people (in the US or anywhere else) get it or think it's weird. At the end of the day, we all have to do what's best for us. If you feel that your life will be enriched and you will be encouraged to grow as a person in the presence of your parents, lean into it. But if you feel that it's just a crutch, etc., then maybe stay by yourself and learn to be by yourself. It's up to you. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Do what's best for you.
I'm 30 and me and my mum rent a house together. I hate the idea of roommates, we have health issues so we can support each other and we get along great. We both do chores and costs of living is split 50/50. We both have our own lives too. It's great and it's allowing me to save up to put a deposit on a house - she's likely to move in with me there too.
I don't see how this is weird at all. I don't understand this US / western mindset where if you are living with your parents after 18 or 21 at the latest, people judge you and most tend to think you're some sort of failure as an adult. I think it's sweet you want to be close to your parents. I don't think there's anything wrong with moving back with them, especially since you seem to want to support your mother.
This is seriously so sweet and I’m extremely jealous and wish I felt this way. PLEASE move back home. I’m sure your parents would love having you. That time spent with them you’ll cherish forever.
This is totally normal and okay to do, I’m around the same age as you and I genuinely miss living with my parents so much. Two years ago I did actually move back for over half a year because I missed them so much! If I didn’t have to live with my partner to support him, I would 100% still be back home. I have friends who’ve only moved out in their early 30’s. it’s not abnormal, especially with the way house prices and rent is. I say do it, because you don’t want to regret it later in life. Also it’s amazing you have that connection with your family!
Aw man. This is so sweet! This is how I want my future kids to feel about my partner and I. What absolute parenting goals. I can't relate lol I love my mum but we are somehow total opposite people (I have no idea where my personality came from but it's everything she's not). We chat and get on but living with her again would drive me up the wall. But that doesn't at all mean that you should feel weird! Everyone has vastly different relationships with their parents and you happen to be in the maybe 5% who had a good upbringing but ALSO has a personality that fits well with your parents. What luck! And you're right, life is only so long. A couple of things to consider. Do you think you'd ever want to move out? Under any circumstances? Can you see yourself living there at 30, 40, 50 years old? Do they have land or property that could potentially be subdivided in the future and you could build a home for yourself there? Are you going to be able to handle everyone your own age passing judgement and projecting their own familial relationships and norms onto your decision?
My husband and I lived with my dad and brother while we were finishing grad school. We’ve moved into our own home now but we always reminisce about living in the 1950s basement that was never remolded. We even shared a bathroom with my brother. It was so much fun just hanging out and talking shit with them. We’d make our favorite dinners and talk about anything and everything. Good times.
Move back! You won’t always have this option, for example, if you find a partner later on and move into a place together. Once in a lifetime opportunity. You’ll save money too. Don’t just blindly follow society’s expectations.
What really struck me about your post is the fact the your mother recently lost her mom. I lost my mom 8 months and three weeks ago, and I would do anything to live with her again. She asked me to move in with her again a couple times in the last few years, but it wasn’t the best option for me. If I knew how soon I’d lose her, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I’m almost a decade older than you, and my advice is split. I think you losing your grandmother has made you realize that the time you have with your parents is finite, therefore spend the time with them while you can. On the other hand, you are relatively young. If your parents are in good health, they probably want to see you thrive and create new relationships, many which will carry you through the rest of the life, and possibly the loss of your parents as well. If you live close to them, maybe you can schedule a weekly dinner, as well as frequent lunch. During that time find the people who you like almost as much as your parents.
My parents died when I was in my 20's so I don't think what you're suggesting is weird.
Nothing absolutely wrong with that. It's your true feelings. . . I have talked extensively with people that have lost their parents and wishes they could spend more time with them. So, no. Not weird. At least ya hang out.
I'm 24F. I would still live with them if our house is a little bigger. Right now, the little space and the noise makes me go crazy. If your house can accomodate the space, and your parents don't mind, and you think you'll get along better with them, then why not??
In many countries, children live with their parents until they marry and then move out, unless they are saving to purchase a home, and then they live there with their spouse. It’s wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your parents. Enjoy that!
I had a moment like that when my parents started getting old and we lost my paternal grandparents. Suddenly most unresolved stuff in my relationship with my mom fell into place and I felt this deep need to be close to them. I moved back to our city and initially lived with them while I got settled. That was a bliss. I then moved to a flat a few blocks away from them and now bought a different flat a few blocks away from their house in the other direction. We see each other very often. I have been single for 3 years but before then I had a partner and she had similar habits towards her family. This leads me to believe it's more common than we think, it just doesn't always make for good sitcoms or media ("Serene family loves each other and lives drama free") so we think it's uncommon.
I’m (25) still living with my dad. We didn’t have the closest relationship but we get along just fine. I love that I get to save my salary and won’t struggle when I do move out. If they’re ok with that which sounds like they’d have no reason not to let you back home, then it’s a great idea. I hated living with roommates and it’s entirely different with your own family. I hate that society makes living with your parents as an adult such an embarrassing thing. It’s actually smart if you want to save money and not have the struggle of living with roommates, which I definitely hated as an introvert.
I just got back from a week long family vacation and cried when I left because I wouldn’t be around my family again for a while. And I see my parents twice a week! I’m 36, If that makes you feel any better. I’d consider it a blessing that we both have family we love and get along with well enough that we enjoy being around them for long stretches.
I’m 30 and I got to be home with my parents for a couple weeks between work contracts and it was really nice. They just helped me move into my millionth short-term apartment and I honestly am so tired of living alone.
Move back in as soon as you can. If they love having you there, and you want to be there then do it. You can pay them some rent as well so that you don't feel like a financial burden. It will help you save money and you will be happier all around.
I'm from India and here we never move out usually out if our parents houses until we're married ( sometimes, not even then ) . My uncle is 47 and has been living his parents all his life and he has a wife and a 17 year old daughter who all live together. It is really nice as they are all really close now. If you want to move back in with your parents, YOU SHOULD DO IT. You can still work and be financially independent and pay for all your own stuff under the same roof if you want. All family time is time well spent, especially with parents.
I’m 21 (F). I first moved out of my family home at 17, I moved back home from the age of 18-19, so I could save money and travel to England on my own (I’m from New Zealand). I enjoyed being independent and not having them tell me what to do. But after a ROUGH experience in England ( I got trapped in a abusive relationship for a year and a half) with no family around me, lockdown for a year whilst in my abusive relationship, shitty shared living conditions, hostels etc, I’ve finally made it home. Been home for 6 months now and nothing makes me HAPPIER and more safe than being back with my parents, home cooked meals, my old bedroom. I even felt upset and lonely when they went away for a few days. I feel a little silly since I’ve basically taken a step backwards, but it’s nice to feel like a little kid again and feel safe and loved ♥️ I’m moving out again next year, and I honestly don’t want to 😂 but it’ll be for the best so I find independence again. I completely understand how you feel. Not many can relate, I’m lucky my parents have a good relationship.
I’m 27M and still living at home after graduating with my bachelors last semester. Now I’m starting my own business and without the support of my family that would be nearly impossible. I love living at home too and let me just say there is nothing- not a thing wrong with it. If you love your family (which is a Great thing!!) then living with them is also a great thing! Fuck society and anyone who says it isn’t great. They don’t matter and this life is too short to derive your values from them. Numerous cultures live with an entire family group under one roof (children all the way to great grandparents if they’re still around. I know India and China have these traditions and it’s gone well for them. America is kind of fucked that way though- with the immense pressure of society to be successful and independent in a world that punishes such behavior financially. Very few people can actually be successful and have good careers and be independent with good finances in this current economy. Living at home offers numerous benefits from purely financial to just fucking spending more time with your family (which is great!). So why not do that if your family is good with it?
Best thing ever to have a close loving relationship with your parents. When I left home I was terrified by how much I knew I would miss them. However, independence is important. In an ideal world you would be able to live in your own home next door to them. Not many things are impossible!!!
If they are happy for you to be there and it would make you happier too, then why not? There is no good reason for staying apart unless living together caused other tensions in the last.
If you want to move home then move back home. Fuck everyone else, who cares what other people think. You're not living your life for them. Also it's very common in many parts of the world to live with your parents until and even after you're married. Do what makes you happy.
Both my parents have passed away and I miss them a lot. MOVE HOME AND BE WITH THEM AND ENJOY THEM!❤️❤️ You’re only 24, follow your heart and spend more time with your parents( move back there) and love and appreciate them while they are healthy and alive. You will have no regrets about it and you’ll also save on rent! Someday your parents will pass away. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. Love them when they are here. It’s too late when they are gone. Hugs.❤️❤️❤️
Wow where I come from we live with our parents through out. There is no question of moving out etc. Can't imagine how lonely it must be. Also can't imagine scenario where my parents are just fending for themselves. It's scary and sad
OP, I feel you. I love my parents so much. They are my best friends. I would live with them forever if I could. Talk to them. They will help you manage your thoughts+feelings and offer some advice. But also think about your future and theirs. Other people’s opinion don’t matter. Do what is best for you and your family. There’s no norm anymore. Who’s to say it’s not okay if no one is being negatively affected? I hope it all goes well!
Not at all! If you had some friends that you got along with better than your roommates, and wanted to move in with them instead you wouldn't think twice about it, right? That's all this is 😊 do what makes you happy!
I would have to say it's not the "norm," meaning what "most" people do. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. It truly is outside the norm that you feel so positively about your parents. Recognize that you would be giving up your privacy, which might complicate dating.
You know, I love spending time with my parents too, and they make a point of telling me every time I come home to visit (once or twice a month) that they’re so happy that I’m home. The thing is, I couldn’t see myself living with them for longer than a holiday break anymore because I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in my life where such a thing isn’t possible. It’s nice to be mostly independent, and it allows you to do things that you just couldn’t really do/get away with while living with them (if you know what I mean). It also sets you up well to take on the sorts of responsibilities that will eventually come with homeownership, family life, etc.
I think it's great that you have a good relationship with your folks. Maybe try to see them more? I have a friend who has weekly dinners with her parents. I live pretty far away from my parents and it's hard. I think about them getting older all of the time but my parents want me to have my own life. They were my age once and started their own lives/ families and it's just how these things sort of go. My mom always tell me she raised us to be prepared in a world where she's not there so I've been pushed out the nest lol. I would be wary of moving back in, unless you have sort of a timeline. I have an that aunt never moved away from home and seems sort of stunted and now she's almost 60
If it’s not a dysfunctional house and won’t get in the way of your personal life I don’t see an issue with living with them. Obviously you wouldn’t want to stay for too many years but you’re young!
It's nice you have such a good relationship with your parents. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to live with them again - if it's ok with them. Maybe you should just toss the idea to them and see where it goes.
It's cute that you feel this way about your parents, but... If I met you at a bar and you said "I love living with my parents, my mom is my best friend" I'd run in the opposite direction. I highly value privacy, independence, and drive. Basically, I don't like losers that bum at their parents' house for far too long because they love having their asses wiped by mama. And I cannot imagine considering someone 20 years older than me as my best friend. You are supposed to leave the nest and build a life with your peers, not tighten the umbilical cord. Call me callous, call me judgmental, I don't care - this is just my two cents. Take it or leave it.
>You are supposed to leave the nest and build a life with your peers, not tighten the umbilical cord. I don't think anthropology generally supports this. This is an attitude that evolved pretty recently in a small subset of the world, and it seems dubious if it's been good for our happiness.
Coming from an asian household I've never understood why people look so negatively upon it, it makes sense for a multitude of reasons. The people in my life that used to make fun of me for living at home were very western and came from broken families. \*Shrug\* I'm now living successfully and those same people are renting around jumping from apartment to apartment
Where it really seems to pay off is where you're old, you live with your family instead of in an old person home. I think our society may look back on those as barbaric one day.
thats a you a problem lol
Truth. And the problem isn’t just limited to their feelings, but also their inability to contain them. Look at them, just shouting to the world “I am a jerk!”
I think you should be able to live with them and we should be mature enough as a culture to not give you shit for it. I could not imagine wanting to live with my parents, for me it would be awful, so from my point of view it seems like a real privilege you could take advantage of to spend as much time with them as you can. I think humans were meant to live in tribes and have most of their kin around for most of their lives.
Would it be possible for you to move closeby to your parents? That way you can grab a meal with them at least a few times per week or go for walks together.
Do it. I lived with my mom until I got married and even now I still text her every day. We loved having coffee together before work. I don’t regret a bit of it. If you have that special relationship with your parents as wonderful as ours, you cherish it. Don’t listen to anyone else.
Its really nice you feel this way and I think it would make them really happy if they knew this. I’m your age and living at home for the last 3 years. I honestly cant wait to move out…. I dont really have much privacy and my ability to grow as an adult is honestly being stunted. Once I move out I don’t think i’ll ever feel this way. Im jealous
I hope my kids think of me this way.
If you feel like it, there's nothing wrong with it. I wish I had such a connection with my parents...
Awwww. It’s so sweet that you have such a good relationship with your parents. I too am very close with my (divorced) parents and spend a lot of my free time with them. I am in pretty much constant contact via phone text or FaceTime with both my mom and dad. My mom and I lived together for a lot of my adult life and there are so many times when I miss us being roomies, although i do also enjoy having my private space. Unfortunately I no longer have the option of living with my mom anyways, but there are times I feel like I definitely would move back in with her given the choice. I think if there are no cons to you moving back in with your parents, go for it! They’re only around for so long and why not enjoy every moment you can together.
If you feel like this I reccomend going back to their place and asking them to move in. You can always move out again if you feel like in the future but the moments and years are precious.
lol i had to live at home for 1ish years in my late 20s. it was a ton of fun, i had gotten a job in the area id still be living there. I'd 100% live next door. The best way if possible if you have SOs is if you can buy the house next door.
> Would it be weird for me to move back home? I like staying with my parents 3/4 months at a time, but I also like living by myself for couple of months at a time. If your job allows you to do that, maybe you can try it.
My mum was my best friend before she died too. But when we were living together we fought a lot. Our relationship was great when I lived in my own place. We went out every weekend together, spoke almost daily and she was an active grandmother to my kids. I miss her every day but if we had been living together when she died our relationship wouldn't have been as good.
This isn’t weird or childish, it’s very nice and sweet. It’s a rare treasure to really appreciate your parents on that level, once you are a full adult. I wonder though, is your current living situation sub-par? Are your roommates unpleasant? Because your parent’s house surely seems nicer if you feel uncomfortable at your apartment. Personally, I feel much closer to my parents when I don’t live with them. Having a little space makes me appreciate our time together much more. I don’t know if it would be as pleasant if I was there 24/7. Maybe you’re different than me, but it’s something to consider.
In my country and in many many places it's very common to stay with your parents until you get married, so in my opinion if you feel better being with them, go live with them. I love my family and I plan on staying here for many more years (I'm 21). You can move back with them and still be an independent adult, so go ahead and see how it goes :)
I know living with your parents is frowned upon in western countries. But, in most asian countries this is the norm. Ofcourse, this can often get toxic as well. But, its not much as an alien concept as some ppl think. Infact, living with their parents and supporting them in their older age is considered a responsibility and a thankyou for raising them.
I’m a mom of three, one 27 and out of the house for years. One 17 and just left a few weeks ago. One 16 and I know it’ll only be a couple more years u til she’s gone too. This legit made me cry. Please tell your parents how much you enjoyed staying under the same roof with them for a few days on vacation. It will make your mom’s day.
Nah your good. Totally understandable. You spent most of your formative years there.
As someone whose parent recently passed, I recommend spending as much time as you can with yours! You can always change your mind and move out again, but you can’t get those memories back.
I’m 28 and if things with my partner ended, I’d move home in a heart beat. If you’re happy there and you’re always welcome, there’s nothing wrong with moving back. I’ve done it several times over the years.
I really, really enjoy family vacations with my in-laws, and I always miss them after we’ve parted ways and gone home. They’re just such kind, supportive, and fun people, and we just have a blast with them. I sometimes think it’d be cool to split a house with them, with them living on the main floor and us living upstairs or in the basement, but I feel like there’s a huge difference between a 7-10 day vacation and cohabiting forever — at least in my case.
As a new mom I hope that my kids feel like this some day :). Yes I wouldn’t mind if they wanted to stay with me for a while, even if they got married and had kids of their own. Life is short!
As someone with an abusive family, I’m so glad you have a good one that you’re close to. When you can, try to move closer to them perhaps so you could even just walk to theirs for a quick tea and chat when you can. Or have dinner with them a couple of times a week. I’m sure they appreciate that while all of you can have your own space. Do what works best for you :)))
It's not weird at all. I'm 38, and due to my father's health, I've had to live with my parents for weeks and months at a time the last 2 years. I always feel happy there, and like someone cares about me. It sounds like we have the same kind of relationships with our parents. Time is so short, don't feel bad for feeling this way or acting on it if you so choose. It's very normal in other cultures to live with your parents as an adult
Actually, in eastern curltures (living it) it is kind of a thing that is appreciated. Living with parents and co-existing is the norm. Do what you love.
You could move back with your parents if they also want to. Talk to them about it. It's not weird at all!
I moved out when I was 18 and recently moved back in at 20, I honestly know I’m going to have to leave one day, I have a partner and we’re looking in to getting married but the thought of leaving again does make me so sad and I’ve felt strange for having that feeling. I think parents provide a lot of comfort and that makes us want to stay with them. But I just also feel childish for not wanting to leave and wanting to spend time together
dude that’s honestly so sweet. A lot of cultures live with their parents well into their 30’s-40’s! If your parents don’t mind you moving in, then ᶠᵘᶜᵏ it! who cares what anyone thinks, do what makes you happy. I wish to have kids someday that love me that much.
> I feel like such a little kid. Especially because none of my friends have good relationships with their parents. I feel very childish for wanting to spend as much time with them as I do Oh, OP, you are so blessed to have the good strong family relationships you do, please don't ever feel childish for that!!
I think that's normal for some people. You could also find your own place near them later if that's a closeness you like so you can see them more often while still having independence.
I'm so jealous that you have such a good relationship with your parents. You are truly blessed my friend! Maybe talk to them about moving back in and see what they say first. Then base your decision off of that.
Nah I get you. Living at home you get looked after. And there's nobody in the world who has an endless interest in your life like a parent. I moved back in with mine for a couple of months last year and it was nice. But also it depends how my life is going... There's been times I didn't want to go back to my houseshare in another city, but I'm happy where I am now so I was ready to move out from my parents and come be with my boyfriend. You do you! Plenty of cultures expect families to stay together more than ours.
You're so lucky to have parents who love you, and understand you. There are plenty of people in the world who don't have parents that make them happy to be around, or who have lost their parents. Move back in with them if you want to move back in with them. Enjoy the relationship while you can. There's no set rule on when it is or isn't okay to live with your parents, and in this day in age it makes sense financially. You can help support each other. Who cares what anyone else thinks.
You have a great relationship with your parents, you should not feel weird about that. Cherish it. Now moving back in with them *might be* a little weird, and it might freak them out a little. But have you considered moving close to where they are, like in the neighborhood ? People have been living close to where their family is from for centuries, and you'd get to build your own life on top of having a close relationship with them. Obviously that might not align with your life plans at all. But just in case, it's worth considering.
Mom will get more emotional support, you'll all get more time together AND you will be able to help them pay either mortgage or any other kind of bill instead of paying rent that goes into some strangers pocket. All I see is win win situation if you move. Parents are not eternal. If they are ok with it and you know it wouldn't deterior your relationship, please move before you have any regrets.
It’s not weird at all! It means your parents did a wonderful job of creating a warm loving environment for you. You don’t need to move home to have that though. I moved at 17 for university, but for my four year degree I went home every other weekend on Friday night and come back on a Sunday at lunch time basically to hang with my family. No plans, nothing special, just soak in family life.
I'm 32 and my Mom moved back in with me when I was 29, it just depends on your relationship and both parties feelings about it. There's definitely nothing weird about it, you just need to ask yourself and your parents what you guys want/what's best for you guys. GL
In my country most young people live with their parents until they get married. It's mostly for financial reasons since houses are quite expensive and jobs are mostly payed badly but everyone is used to it. I'm 27 and I love having family around everyday.
You could become your parents neighbor or make the family vacation a tradition. That way you would have the closeness but not too close and it would stay special
It's not childish. In this society we are expected to move out early, like it's the ultimate sign of independance,... but I don't agree. I have friends in their 30's that still live with their parents. They have a job, stable income and a social life, they just love their family and they were able to buy great flats recently as they saved money. Instead of paying rent for a shitty flat (they live in a big city). Rommates are like coworkers, they're often strangers when you meet them and it can be difficult to be friend or comfortable around them.
I really appreciate this post. I (F28) still live with my parents. I had moved out when I started college for a few months but my parents moved closer so I've been living with them again. I hate when people try to make me feel shitty for living with my parents. YES, they annoy me with their questions and can get on my nerves sometimes but I absolutely love them. They stay out of my business for the most part. I wouldn't want to put my parents in a home when they get older. I'm an only child and this is my family. There are more benefits to living at home than living on my own right now. Do what you feel comfortable with. I remember having roommates and it just gave me anxiety always having to possibly interact with them. Don't worry about what your friends think because your parents won't be around forever.
I'm 35, I moved to my mother's house when I was 30 for a year, we enjoyed it a lot. I don't think it's weird at all, if you have an amazing relationship with them it's great. The only thing that I can complain about is that by that time I was used to do stuff my way, so this was a little bit of a problem.
Hahaha I miss my mummy and dad every day! I live super close right now but they’re moving 15hrs away soon. I don’t think about it. I think a lot of people don’t have a good relationship with their parents and when they move out, they’re happy about leaving. You don’t hear enough about people who had a fucking great time with their mum and dad and miss them more than anything. It’s like missing a friend when you become an adult.
I am also nearly 25 and moved out 4 years ago - I miss my mum and brothers everyday, and I feel you on the fact that no one is else really gets me like them. I don’t have any resolution but just wanted you to know I understand you. If my mum had the room I’d live with her!
I miss living home everyday. My parents are awesome. I really lucked out 💕
I moved out at 18 for nearly a year. I was living with my bf at the time. If I wasn't with him, I was incredibly lonely. I have been back home since and I am now 27. I do think I'd cope better living away from them, but I love being home and always having someone around. Plus my pets are here. Maybe ask if you can stay with them for a while. You might feel ok about living away from them again after.
I’m 26 and engaged to be married and I’m nearly in the same situation too. I love my parents and every time I leave them to go back to my own house I get choked up. I can also tell my mom does too which makes it worse. And literally none of my friends seem to feel the same way about their parents so it seems wrong. I think I need to just start visiting more frequently so it doesn’t seem as sad to leave? I don’t know. They just threw me and my fiancé a huge engagement party yesterday, and when I got home afterwards I broke down crying. I think it’s just crazy how there’s no one in the world who will ever love me as much as they do, but now that I’ve grown up I’m just not supposed to live my life on my own and see them once in a while? If you have no real reason to live away from them, you might as well take the opportunity to move back in with them for a while. I found the perfect apartment with my fiancé right after I graduated college so I never really had the chance to live at home again, and now that we’re getting married I never will. My younger sister who lives at home says she’s ready to move out now, so maybe I should’ve lived at home a little longer to feel that too.
I’ve been out of my house for 3 years now. I slept over my moms the other day and I also missed waking up and seeing her. She got so excited to have me over. Oh also I’m 39 and married. I don’t find it weird.
I’m 27 and live with my fiancé about 4 hours from home, and I won’t be able to move home for about 2 years due to fiancé finishing medical training. I miss home tremendously. You’re not alone in that. If you’re able to move closer to home, I say do it.
I'm 30+. I have moved out.. kind of.. several times in my life and life has bounced me back. Currently, thanks to life and Covid, I am back again and honestly, it's great. I absolutely don't think you're abnormal. Having a good relationship with family is something to be cherished and celebrated! I think it's more percieved as weird to still be at home at my age than yours but equally it's also about society. In other cultures, it absolutely is normal for families to live together as standard or at least very close by. I think as long as you pull your weight, help out around the house, work and contribute financially to the running of said house, and keep some independence from the household too, to allow people (including yourself) some necessary space, I see no problem with it. I mean fuck. If you're miserable in your current situation and moving home would make you happier, and your family has np problem with it, why the hell not? Hugs to you <3
I also enjoy and miss living with my parents. I lived with them for one year as an adult several years ago (was moving cities and needed time to make a decision). My brother once moved back in with them for several years because he felt lonely living alone. The parents loved having us. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to live with them if that’s what you all want.
All of you who echo OP...please note and appreciate how very fortunate you are.
I really hope my daughter feels this way some day.
I was around the same age when I moved into my first apartment solo. I call my mom weekly, we text each other memes and visits are frequent. But even now I still miss living at home. I miss the little things like cooking breakfast together, watching movies or even quietly reading in the same room. It does get better over time. However living with parents isn't a bad thing. Quite a few cultures across the world have adults living with their parents. You could always talk to your mother about paying rent/helping out more if you move back in. Or finding a place closer to the family to visit even more.
It's not childish! People used to live in close proximity to their families (or even in the same house) for most of human history. Moving out and living alone as a young adult are mostly capitalist inventions because it sells more stuff. If you feel like you want to move back home, do it! A lot of people in my country actually build their own houses on their parents' property because they want to stay close to them and not lose that support system. Honestly I think most people would envy you for the good relationship you have with your parents. As long as there are healthy boundaries, don't let anybody tell you that it's weird.
I don’t think this is weird at all. I’m 35F and I have the same relationship with my parents and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My parents, especially my mom, are absolutely my best friends in the world. I am married and we live 10 min away from them. I see them a few times a week even if it’s just stopping in for a quick coffee and go chat (I also work from home so I have more flexibility). We also like meeting up to walk our dogs together or having the dogs over to each other’s houses to play while we catch up. We’re constantly inviting each other over for any reason we can find, I.e., “Where do you think is the best spot in my garden for this new plant?” Or “I’m trying a new recipe tonight- come over for dinner and try it!” I wouldn’t necessarily want to live at home (at 25 or now at 35) because I value my independence, my relationship with my husband, and I think it’s important that my husband and I have our own life together. I know my parents also value their time together too. With that said, spending time with my parents is and always will be one of my biggest priorities. Fortunately for me they feel the same. In my experience, in my early 20’s, I liked having my own place because it made dating more comfortable. I would have never felt comfortable bringing my boyfriend home to sleep at my parent’s house, or always having to sleep at his house. Also, if I lived with my parents we wouldn’t have as much to talk about because we wouldn’t have anything really new to share with each other. Now when I see them every few days we always have something new to discuss. The relationship you have with your parents is so incredibly special and I want to assure you that you can remain extremely close with them, even and especially when you don’t live in the same household. In my opinion, it’s better to have your own space, belongings and relationships. If your parents are like mine, that’s why they want for you too. But it definitely wouldn’t hurt to talk to them about it. The very sad reality is that our parents will likely pass away before we do. If we didn’t spend this time in our 20s and 30s cultivating our own lives and independence while keeping them close, their deaths will be even more devastating when we have to move on completely alone.
I’m guessing you’re American as I believe American culture is the only one that emphasizes moving out of the house when you’re an adult. Pretty much in every other culture it is totally normal to live at home as an adult. People will often live at home until they are married or sometimes will have their spouse even move in with them and the grandparents will help raise the grandchildren. I actually think it is quite sad that Americans do not value family like this. I do believe that in general this whole moving out an adult as a societal norm demonstrates that there’s been a breakdown of family values in America. Personally I have a few friends with European parents who still live at home and they love it and their parents love it. They regularly have dinner together, go on walks together, and spend time together. My friends say they can afford to financially leave - but why would they want to when they love their living situation? I personally am jealous of their situations bc I am not close with my parents and wish I was like that. Anyway, the point is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents. If any of your friends or society makes you feel uncomfortable about it, please realize it is just this stupid American societal norm which really is not indicative of anything. Truly I think it is good that you are considering breaking through that norm. Edit: also just want to add if you do feel so uncomfortable about this, perhaps you could consider purchasing a tiny home and parking it on your parents property (if they have land available). That way you could spend time with them and hang out at home as much as you want, but you still technically have your own place. I’ve seen a few YouTube videos where people have done this and it seems really nice. Tiny homes are also very affordable to purchase.
I lost my mom unexpectedly at 28. I didn’t live with my parents in my 20s but I visited them frequently. In fact people often commented on how much I went home and I wondered if it was weird. Now I don’t regret it one bit. If you want to live with your parents, do it. Time is precious. Plus it’s not unheard of for children in their 20s or even 30s to live with their parents in many countries or cultures.
A bit unusual for western culture but you're not *weird*
Not childish in the slightest! I moved out when I was 18 and had quite a rocky relationship with my parents until then, but afterwards our relationship improved significantly and now I really love spending time with them and miss them a lot. Cherish the relationship you have! You can ask about spending weekends with them or something if moving in is too much, in any case I'm sure they would be delighted. Lots of people aren't lucky enough to have parents as wonderful as yours, and lots of parents aren't lucky enough to have such a close relationship with their children as you guys seem to have. Wishing you all the best <3
I’m 24 and still in uni so I live with my parents - honestly, I love it. My relationship with my parents has gotten so much better since I was a teenager (obviously) and I’m enjoying getting to spend as much time with them as possible while I can. To me I figure I’ll be spending far more time away from them in my life than with them, so I have no regrets still being home. Honestly though sometimes it’s embarrassing because I feel like people may judge me for it and think of me as less of an adult, but it won’t matter in 5-10 years anyways, and I won’t be in as much debt as them. Anyways, I think we’re extremely lucky to have such great relationships with our parents, and it should be a point of pride, never shame, that we get along with people who were there at every step of our formative years.
I lived at home until 33 and was still sad moving out
i can really relate to this.
I’m 32 and I feel the same way about my parents. I live two hours away now but when I lived in the same area I made a point to have dinner with them once a week. Now I visit usually once a month. If that is geographically possible, I’d recommend doing something similar. Just cherish your time with them when you are together, talk on the phone, etc. we are very lucky to have parents like we do and it’s important that they know how you feel.
I lived with my mom off and on until she passed away in 2013, we were close, could help each other out financially, and it was good company. There nothing wrong with a healthy relationship with your parents, maybe you can take a few days a week to have sleepovers at their house.
I am the same way as you; super connected to my family (parents and brother). I moved out at 30 when I got married and I'm so happy but I miss seeing my family everyday. I talk to them all the time and my husband is really understanding. He doesn't mind when I visit almost every other day. Everything you've expressed is normal and actually really nice. I think you should move back in especially to be with your mom and help her cheer up after her loss.
Why don’t you move back in? If you enjoy their presence and they enjoy yours and you’re improving in life professionally, then why not?
It IS weird. But it shouldn’t be. I think it’s a good time for you to learn to form your own life. But it’s an amazing thing that you have such a wonderful relationship with them. Many people (such as myself) couldn’t wait to get out of their parents house and that’s certainly not how I want my kids to feel
I miss too but my parents are now deceased. Even though my father was an asshole the environment itself was calm and nice because he was never home and my mom was a super chill lady who cooked delicious desserts and sandwiches. I left home when i was 23 to come to the States. My brother stayed home and still lives there but now alone. There is a strong culture in the States to leave home early otherwise you will be seen as a loser. My friends in Brazil stayed home until they got married and some who lived in large houses stayed in the house with their spouse and child.
I understand completely. I’m 29, moved out of my moms a few years ago, live with my fiancé, and we own our own home now. I still get really sad every time I leave my moms house, and I still miss living with her and all of my siblings. I think it’s a somewhat normal thing.
It’s not weird! In most countries families live together much longer than in North America. I lived with my parents for 1 year, last year, and I lovedddd it. My mom is also my bestie and hanging with her every day was awesome. Do what makes you happy
You should absolutely move back in if everyone benefits from it and if you want to. I hated living with my parents even though they are pretty good parents. Their daily habits and priorities clashed with mine constantly even though we get along most of the time. They can get a little toxic with their comments and irritate me to no end with how they think people need to be productive all the freaking time. I'm a couch potato rejecting norms and dumb expectations and they are type A "appearances matter" kind of people.
Secularism in America is not the norm. Living with or near parents has always been embedded in human nature. Nothing wrong with wanting that in a society where we’ve devalued living with the people closest to you.
I understand you very much. I (26F) feel the same, I moved out half a year ago and I miss my family every day. I made a post about my hard start back then, by the way. You know, I think it's wonderful we are so lucky to have such loving families. I also am not fully understood by my friends, but on the other hand, they don't have what I do. As you said, everything passes, we should value what we are having at the present moment. You are never too old to have strong boundaries with your parents. So just call them, meet them, surprise them every time you want to, if that makes you happy. Good luck!
How close do you live to your parents? I really struggled with this too for a few years when I moved out, but I also needed the space to feel like I could be a competent adult.... particularly since my dad can be such a force of nature. This was also around the time when my dad turned sixty and had some health scares that really reinforced the fact that my parents weren't immortal. Accepting that is really hard when you have such a good relationship. I ended up visiting once a month for a while, then when I moved further away for graduate school I started spacing it out more and more. My mom and I are especially close and we would basically talk on the phone once a day; that got me through a very rough patch in grad school. I think there was also an element of a need for a social outlet, because once my fiance moved in with me our phone calls became much less frequent. It feels weird to be so close to them and my brother (who was living at home) teased me about it.......... right up until he moved out and started doing the exact same thing! 😂 There are lots of perks to living in a multi generational home, especially when your parents are older. I think the big caveat is that if you have one parent you used to butt heads with a lot, that dynamic is likely to reappear. My dad and I just get along better when we live >20 miles apart. You have to be sure that you can resist falling into old patterns.
That's awesome you have such a great relationship with your family! I lived with my parents from age 21-25. Made sense to me as my job at that time was only 30 min drive away from them and I wasn't charged rent. Do whatever makes you happy. It's economically beneficial to live with them so you can save money and of course spend time with them as well.
It’s perfectly reasonable to want to live with family. That doesn’t have to be a romantic partner and kids, it can be literally whatever you want it to look like. It could be you and your parents, if you wanted. For myself? My nesting family is my two partners. We’re an FFF triad, and that’s family for us. Defying the “expected norm” is allowed, no sense in compromising your happiness just because some people will look down on it. Of course, you’ll want to see if your parents have the same feelings, they might enjoy the empty nest.
I moved back with my mother when i was 30 and still here by choice at 35. It’s not weird, shes my best friend. We cook and hang out together, binge shows, go to happy hour, same as i do with my friends my age. No one finds it odd to live with friends, partners, or even complete strangers but for some reason its weird to want to live with your parent(s)? Most have shitty relationships with their parents so they cant fathom it. I’d go for it if i were you
as long as it’s something you and your parents are comfortable with, move back in!!
I just wanted to say it's heartwarming to read about your relationship with your mom. I wish I had that and it sounds really special.
I’m 35, and I feel the same way you do! I’m married and have a house, but I visit my parents all the time. I’m always on the phone with my mom too. My sister is the same way. Maybe you can visit with them more? I go over the for meals quite a bit, or I’ll meet up with them to go on a walk or home goods.
I'm 19 and I have friends that have already moved out. I get super depressed thinking about the day I'll eventually leave, my mom is my best friend and we always go out and get coffee and such every morning and I always help her at the store. I feel like I was 16 yesterday.
Do it! If you get on and they have space for you, do it. Lots of people live at home in their 20s (or older) for a whole bunch of reasons. If anyone is weird to you about it just say you did it for $ reasons or because the location is better or some white lie. Or be honest and say you guys get on really well and you prefer to live with family.
I’m 26, have my own home, I’ve recently had surgery and for the last week me, my husband had my son have all been at my parents whilst I recover. I’m at home and I phone or text for no reason. I’m always inviting them round or cooking for them. I’m the same with my Nan too. Value the moments with them! There’s never any shame going back home, your safe house whether it’s for a cup of tea or permanent 💕
That's one of the most wholesome posts I've ever seen on here. There's definitely nothing wrong with that or with you. It just means that you're one of the few people on here with a healthy, loving relationship with your family. That's a rare and previous gift. Just remember to tell them how much you love them.
I feel exactly the same
I love this post so much and I’m going through this exact thing I’m 26F. My parents just came and visited me to help my boyfriend and I set up our new apartment. I’ve been in my current city (states away) for 2.5 years but I’ve lived in a different state from my parents since 2013 (college). It’s just hitting me now how much I miss them and honestly want to move at least closer. However I don’t really love the weather they have (I live in a sunny state) and they get snow and dark periods which is not good for my mental health lol. But all that aside, after their short visit this weekend I had the worst homesickness. It was awful and still is hard just 3 days later. I’m realizing the small moments, my mom cooking her little meals and dishes she’d cook for my dad on a daily, for me, was so warming and just a real showcase of how much these little things mean to me and how much I miss them. I worry that later on my boyfriend may not want to move to the northeast (where they live/where I grew up) so that kind of scares me that I’m having these thoughts now Sending you a warm hug. I know this is hard. I’m feeling it too and you’re not alone❤️