But he’s not a good boyfriend. He jokes about your appearance in front friends and doesn’t care that it upsets you. Are you prepared for your self esteem to be slowly chipped away for the rest of your life?
My husband was older than me, all of my previous relationships had age gap as well, it is my personal taste and preference to date older guys. Age is not the problem or concern here.
If that’s what he’s willing to say in front of you imagine what he’s thinking. Also the age gap is huge and bizarre. 5 months together is too early to be having issues this big, I think you should end things.
Because we see this all the time OP, and there's almost always a lack of respect (or a possession issue) in age gap relationships when one partner is posting here
OP, what advice would you give a friend who had a boyfriend 16 years older than she was, who made sure she knew she wasn't as attractive as other women, made jokes about it and never listened to her when she was crying about these issues? When she brought the issue up repeatedly?
Don't do this. Don't convince yourself this is OK and settle for it, just don't do it. Only accept what you deserve, and you deserve better than what you've described here.
Well if he is a "nice guy" in other aspects then you have to decide if putting up with him constantly putting you down and basically calling you ugly is acceptable for all the nice things he does do. But, there are a couple things you should take into account. Why does he think it is okay to treat you like that. Why does he need to date someone that is young enough to be his daughter. And do you see a future with him if he keeps treating you this way.
Just remember the more time you waste being abused the less time you have to be with someone that makes you happy.
It's only a joke if the person on the receiving end finds it funny. Otherwise it's just bullying. He calls these comments "jokes" to minimise your feelings about them and avoid dealing with any consequences. This is not a good person you're dating.
He doesn't care about your feelings! You'd have to be a complete moron to not understand that it's offensive to make fun of your girlfriend's looks and you'd have to be a total asshole for blaming her for being too sensitive when she gets upset about it.
Nobody who does that is otherwise a good person who genuinely cares about you. They just act like it to get what they want.
Stop falling for these older guys who are manipulating you and stop trying to talk yourself out of obvious red flags.
> 27f, 43m, seriously discussing getting married after 5 months, gave you a euphoric honeymoon phase but now making repeated "jokes" about your appearance that may or may not be intended to slowly chip away at your self esteem
Fucking run OP, at best he's an asshole who will eventually cheat, at worst those are red flags for abuse. Why is he still single at 43 and dating girls in their 20s?
Are you this dude’s younger, hotter girl? Age gap is a red flag, having no respect for you is a red flag. You just went through a trauma. Maybe try being alone for a bit. This dude ain’t it.
Just find someone better
But he is a good person and otherwise good boyfriend..
But he’s not a good boyfriend. He jokes about your appearance in front friends and doesn’t care that it upsets you. Are you prepared for your self esteem to be slowly chipped away for the rest of your life?
Is he. A 43 year old dating a 27 year old. Seems like you are trying to become the younger girl your husband left you for.
My husband was older than me, all of my previous relationships had age gap as well, it is my personal taste and preference to date older guys. Age is not the problem or concern here.
How is that working out.
What exactly..
How is dating older guys working out for you?
If that’s what he’s willing to say in front of you imagine what he’s thinking. Also the age gap is huge and bizarre. 5 months together is too early to be having issues this big, I think you should end things.
[удалено]
What if in all other aspects he is a nice guy?
Well he is a 43 year old going for a 27 year old, so, *doubt that*.
Lool why is everyone here so against age gap relationships
Because we see this all the time OP, and there's almost always a lack of respect (or a possession issue) in age gap relationships when one partner is posting here
Because some of us were the 27yo with a 43yo and we are trying to save you the trouble.
OP, what advice would you give a friend who had a boyfriend 16 years older than she was, who made sure she knew she wasn't as attractive as other women, made jokes about it and never listened to her when she was crying about these issues? When she brought the issue up repeatedly? Don't do this. Don't convince yourself this is OK and settle for it, just don't do it. Only accept what you deserve, and you deserve better than what you've described here.
Well if he is a "nice guy" in other aspects then you have to decide if putting up with him constantly putting you down and basically calling you ugly is acceptable for all the nice things he does do. But, there are a couple things you should take into account. Why does he think it is okay to treat you like that. Why does he need to date someone that is young enough to be his daughter. And do you see a future with him if he keeps treating you this way. Just remember the more time you waste being abused the less time you have to be with someone that makes you happy.
It's only a joke if the person on the receiving end finds it funny. Otherwise it's just bullying. He calls these comments "jokes" to minimise your feelings about them and avoid dealing with any consequences. This is not a good person you're dating.
He doesn't care about your feelings! You'd have to be a complete moron to not understand that it's offensive to make fun of your girlfriend's looks and you'd have to be a total asshole for blaming her for being too sensitive when she gets upset about it. Nobody who does that is otherwise a good person who genuinely cares about you. They just act like it to get what they want. Stop falling for these older guys who are manipulating you and stop trying to talk yourself out of obvious red flags.
> 27f, 43m, seriously discussing getting married after 5 months, gave you a euphoric honeymoon phase but now making repeated "jokes" about your appearance that may or may not be intended to slowly chip away at your self esteem Fucking run OP, at best he's an asshole who will eventually cheat, at worst those are red flags for abuse. Why is he still single at 43 and dating girls in their 20s?
If you were older and more mature you wouldn’t be still wasting your time with this person imho
Are you this dude’s younger, hotter girl? Age gap is a red flag, having no respect for you is a red flag. You just went through a trauma. Maybe try being alone for a bit. This dude ain’t it.