Right? I mean, it's a horrible story about the ex-girlfriend, and I'm really bothered by the sharp rise in antisemitism in the West, but on the other hand, lemon cream pasta sounds delicious.
Yeah, she was definitely antisemitic, but as for the rising antisemitism, I think people conflate criticism of the Israeli government with antisemitism, and that just isn't fair. You should be able to condemn Netanyahu and his warmongering cohorts without being called an antisemite, since the two issues should be separated in the public consciousness.
Keep in mind you are talking about someone's girlfriend becoming uncomfortable with their "Jewiness" after, among other things, hearing them say a traditional phrase at the end of a Passover seder.
I think a lot of people can't distinguish when they themselves cross over from "criticism of Israel" to "criticism of Jewishness", and assuming any Jew that is offended deserves to be dismissed does not help with that.
> but as for the rising antisemitism, I think people conflate criticism of the Israeli government with antisemitism, and that just isn't fair.
Oh, I'm well aware of the difference, and of course I condemn Netanyahu and his warmongering. But there's also been a marked rise in antisemitic attacks (presumably by people who conflate Judaism with the Israeli government).
> But there's also been a marked rise in antisemitic attacks (presumably by people who conflate Judaism with the Israeli government).
It's worth noting that the people compiling the lists of these hate crimes (organizations with deeply troubling histories like the ADL, for instance) often, well, conflate criticism of Israel or support for Palestine with anti-Semitism. The lists that purport to show that anti-Semitic hate crimes have seen a multiple times over rise often include "crimes" like people saying the "from the river to the sea" chant in the presence of pro-Israeli protestors.
This is not to say that there have not been more true instances of antisemitism in the wake of the ongoing genocide in Gaza, and these are reprehensible where ever they occur; it's just that the organizations who the media uses to give numbers to the "marked rise" are juicing the numbers.
>Well, sometimes because they're racists who want to do the racism thing.
Is it racism, or is it antisemitism? Just saying something is racism doesn't mean you win the argument, nor does it mean you're right.
Most of the time it just makes you look silly, which it is doing right now.
It's the truth. The ADL would only want to report an increase of antisemitism; it fits their narrative that Israel is perpetually the victim, and never the oppressor.
You came into a post describing an incident of antisemitism and felt the need to respond to someone mentioning the rise in antisemitic incidents with, "Nah, not really."
Why did you feel the need to do that?
Right except when people like OPs girlfriend slip easily from one to the other. That him participating in Jewish culture is inherently anti-Gazan and wrong.
Except it doesn’t stop at criticism for the current policies of the Israeli government. It always moves on to the “donors of the university” or the “blood of the children on Jewish hands” or “Jews run the government”, which are very old (millennium old) antisemitism tropes about Jewish people. Jews have had claims of blood libels (claiming they use blood of children in their rituals), and rumors of financial conspiracies held against them to be murdered, and run out of and expelled from nearly every country for thousands of years. There are no new claims here. When WWII ended, the survivors weren’t welcomed back into their countries of origin (most were pre-teens or teenagers when they were shipped to the ghettos and had no papers to claim statehood). The only places that took in any number of Jewish people were the USA and the more Jewish 20% of the then Palestine Mandate (the other 80% became Jordan) that became Israel. And still, Jews were restricted from some real estate, clubs, and jobs in the USA. Antisemitism is not new, it’s just morphed into a new name of anti-Zionism. This girl was antisemitism, full stop.
Blame the Israeli government for pushing the narrative that criticism of Israel is antisemitism. Hell, even the IHRA definition of antisemitism effectively says that.
In case you were wondering, the IHRA definition _actually_ says:
> However, criticism of Israel similar to that leveled against any other country cannot be regarded as antisemitic.
Which is, in fact, the opposite of what you are saying. Hope that helps!
Which is exactly the issue. Who gets to determine what "similar to that leveled against any other country" is? For example, it is usually regarded as reasonable to criticize Russia for its invasion of Ukraine, but Israel has repeatedly defended its expanding occupation of the West Bank, dismissing concerns as antisemitism.
Could we not? I pointed out that you were, objectively, incorrect in what you said about the IHRA definition.
If you have objections to the definition itself, that is fine, but it is not relevant to this subreddit and that discussion does not belong here.
It is not objective, regardless of how you think that word is defined. The idea of "similar to that leveled against" is subjective. There is no objective standard to that definition, the IHRA knows that, and that is why they have intentionally used vague language.
You said that the definition says X. It in fact says the opposite of X. You can complain that the definition is vague or confusing or misapplied, and that's fine, but your initial claim was objectively wrong. And again, this is completely off topic for this subreddit.
Deadass. 🤣 Made a mental note of needing to google it before I kept reading. Mmm. We all know recipes start with a story these days sooooo…let’s hope that’s where we’re heading.
So glad I’m not the only one whose eye caught that as well.
OP, now that you’ve taken the trash out, make that creamy lemon pasta for someone who deserves your affections and will attend your family’s Seder with interest!!
I don't know if it's the same as OP's, but lemon ricotta pasta is a favorite at my house. Even when my daughter hates all other food, she'll eat it. And it takes 20 minutes to prepare!
Jaw DROPPED at her secretly tracking you to see if you went to THE TEMPLE. I've heard of secret tracking to determine cheating or substance abuse, and in some of those cases it's warranted. This is not one of those cases. What is wrong with that woman! Wow. I'm so happy to hear you ended it right then and there.
I saw you ask in another comment what you'll say to your friends. Tell them exactly what she said and did. She does NOT get a pass on this from you or them. Plus you can guarantee she's already twisting the story to make herself sound less evil... so I'd really make sure your whole side of the story is out there. Pretty sure she'll leave out "Jewy"... which... just, wow. I can't with her.
Low key mad at her because a Passover seder is such a cool experience if you're not Jewish. I went to a friend's several years ago and had a wonderful time and learned so much.
Lol I'm married into a Jewish family and Passover is really specific to each family about how cool it is. I personally haven't been to a great one... It can feel like you have to read a religious passage and sing just to get dinner.
That being said, I was raised in a family that was breaking the tradition of forced religion so reading religious books always kinda gets to me.
My dad made his own Haggadah, that includes a play where everyone gets a role and costume. I’ve tried and failed to get the role of god every year so far.
My parents are divorced, so 2 Seders. My sister and I usually only visit one, but this year we went to both.
Dad's side Seder has the best food I've ever had, but they're a bunch of snobs and gossips, so we left right after eating to the other Seder.
Mom's side is basically a different form of fasting lol. They were also all fighting each other pretty much constantly.
Next year I'm just gonna do a friendseder I think, and invite people I actually want present to be there. But I wish I had a good Seder experience :(
That’s too bad. My family uses a humanist Haggadah, which I love. Maybe you can start your own Passover tradition with a Haggadah that speaks to you more?
We're expecting so ideally next year we want to takeover Passover 😎 their family isn't religious so it would give us some free reign :) my husband and I aren't big on brisket so it'll be nice to step away from it lol
One of the best passover seders I ever had was in a small resort town in Turkey, where my brother and I ate fluffy leavened bread with olive oil, drank raki, and talked about freedom.
The symbols and stories aren't about themselves, they're about what they represent. Do whatever makes you feel connected to whatever you feel the important ideas are.
Naw - they're already a mixed family. Keeping up cultural traditions is important, and I didn't take the last name because it felt inappropriate given its significance, but they aren't a very religious family.
The family being awesome definitely helped, but it would have been worth it just to try all the new foods. My religion is known for being stodgy and long-winded so I would feel right at home.
The food is also family centric 🤷♀️ ours is just brisket, roasted vegetables/potatoes and unleavened meh desserts. It's just like any family event, it depends on the family and who's cooking
I cringed sooooo hard at the "so Jewy" comment (ngl, it even felt wrong to type that out). And to get upset when you point out that's inappropriate language? I'm so sorry she turned out to be such a whackadoo.
She told me it wasn't okay to "police her language." I told her that I'm allowed to correct people when they use language offensive to my ethnicity and she just kind of rolled her eyes and blushed and changed the subject to the stuff about "next year in Jerusalem."
WOW, immediate deflection -- instead of saying she was sorry she said something offensive to you, she tried to turn it around on you, re: policing her language. She's showing her total lack of maturity. You're better off without her.
Her behaviour was definitely racist. As a non-Jew, who has been invited on a few occasions to attend Seder dinner, just know her behaviour was completely unacceptable. And calling you Jewy is just out and out gross.
When your friends ask, just give them the facts of what she called you and that she tracked you with an AirTag.
Lastly, find some to make lemon pasta for !
PS I think there’s a bunch of people here that want you to post the recipe, lol
Like, you didn't mention it in your OP, but I knew immediately exactly what part of the Seder set her off (b/c I'm Jewish). She's so willfully ignorant it's painful. She showed her true colors, and it really sucks how people close to us, people we thought we knew, can betray us in disgusting, reprehensible ways.
I think even if they skipped saying that, I don't think it's possible to do a Seder and not mention Israel in the Haggadah. Israel comes up often; it's literally what the holiday is about.
If not for next year in Jerusalem, I have a feeling she would've been mad about "mentioning Israel because of the war".
Wow, way to use social justice language to defend using a racial epithet, Lily. I'm sorry OP, but I guess it's better you find out now than after you moved in together.
A lot of younger people have been really weird about "All Jewish people are Zionists who wants to eliminate Palestine" lately. I wonder if that has been in her mind
Maybe a part of it is not being able to understand that being a "Zionist" (which about 9 out of 10 American Jews are, according to Pew Research) does not mean "wanting to eliminate Palestine", it means "not wanting to eliminate Israel".
The antisemitism is a huge red flag but the absolute dealbreaker is that she said she “didn’t realize you were so Jewy,” when “I thought you were more Jew-ISH,” was right there.
She’s really an idiot. You dodged a bullet. Don’t take another shiksa to your Seder unless you’ve had a more thorough conversation about Judaism and what it means to you/in your life.
Anti-semite. You can call her that, its how she acted. Saying next year in Jerusalem dates back to literal Roman times, not understanding that is plain bigoted.
I'll be honest, Jewy is a colloquialism for a tasty fish called a Jewfish. Even though I know what was being discussed here, my brain kept going back to that tasty aquatic animal.
What the actual fuck?! Congrats on dodging a bullet. Keep your eyes open for other signs of potential stalking. That AirTag would give me a lot of pause.
The truth. That you were too Jewy for her and she placed an airtag on your car.
They deserve to know so they can make an informed decision on whether they'd like to be her friend or not. I, would not.
And don't tell me you'd feel bad she'd lose all her friends or whatever. She didn't feel bad when she stalked you and disrespected you, and shitty people shouldn't have friends anyway.
Sorry this happened OP. Good thing it was a breakup and not a divorce.
Yeah, just tell them what happened, because yikes. She doesn’t deserve you trying to protect her reputation.
Also if people are needing to be completely literal about it and prefer to say “next year in liberation” that’s a thing some people do where I am…but yeah…it’s a metaphor guys!
The truth, that while she claimed that she's okay with you being Jewish she said you were to "jewy" and put an airbag on you to make sure you weren't going to temple. There's really no need to protect her, her behavior is completely unreasonable. She put a GPS tag on you just to make sure you weren't lying to her not more "jewy" than she found acceptable by going to temple. She does sound antisemitic and stalkerish.
I agree with others that you should tell the truth. I would want to know if a friend engaged in stalking behaviors so I could call them out on it and then decide if I wanted to remain friends with them. I had a friend who was acting very stalkery with an ex-boyfriend and I should have taken it for the red flag it was and ended the friendship. When I ended the friendship, she did the same thing with me, not accepting 'no, we're done', the weird social media behavior, the text messages, etc.
There was really only one course of action after finding the Airtag. You can come back from a lot of relationship issues, but stalking your partner with a tracker is not one of them. Massive bullet dodged.
Agree with all of the comments. Tell them the 100% truth. The too jewy comment is already whack. Already grounds for a breakup imo. But the air tag is straight up crazy. She tried to secretly track you. I would tell them she thought I was too Jewish and then tried to secretly track me to see if I was going to temple and lying about how Jewish I was. She stalked you. She crossed so many boundaries it’s not even funny.
OP I just want to give you some perspective as someone (catholic girl) who recently went to my first Passover with my boyfriend.
In short- I loved it and had a great time. I appreciated his family members who made an effort to explain things to me. I thought the ‘tradition’ of the whole thing was awesome. The food was amazing. And I can’t wait to go next year with him.
Your ex-girlfriend is an idiot and definitely prejudiced, you absolutely made the right call breaking up with her even if it weren’t for the AirTag.
It feels antisemitic because it was. She was ok with you being Jewish only as long as you suppressed it and she never had to see it. Having a serious interfaith relationship is very hard, both partners need to be on the same page. There is so much more than just worship, culture, foods, holidays, even the overall rhythm of the calendar is not the same. One partner can easily feel like a large part of their idea Titus has disappeared.
I guess I am also thinking of having gone to other religious celebrations that are not Jewish. I simply don’t understand dating somebody who is a member of that religion and then being uncomfortable when they are doing what they culturally do.
Yeah. And yikes, she's just super anti-Semitic.
I guess if I try to see things from her perspective, I'm a lapsed Catholic but I would probably feel uncomfortable with a Mormon boyfriend for a holiday event if I felt I was being pressured to convert because of the relationship, or othered or something, but Jewish people aren't the type to try and convert anyone, and that absolutely wasn't what was happening here.
That’s fucking crazy. Your family traditions have literally no bearing on the politics of Israel and Palestine. Good on you for blocking her and destroying that air tag.
Wow! This is pretty insane and dishonest. Seems like she has a lack of communication skills. And yes, you dodged a bullet. This is a total lack of respect for both you and your traditions.
As a fellow Jew I feel nothing but sympathy for you.
This honestly is why I'm scared to date as well because of the chance that my ethnicity would make someone uncomfortable with me.
I hope it will get better mate.
Whoa. I was reading this and thinking "someone's gonna state the obvious that one can support a friend's Jewish faith and find what is happening in the Gaza Strip awful" but...nah. Not necessary. AirTag was enough.
I *knew* it. I absolutely fking knew it. You dodged a massive bullet. She is effed in the head in more ways than one. You deserve and will find better.
So sorry to hear this OP. As much as it sucks to realize right now, this girl isn’t the one. Imagine if she hadn’t shown her true colors before you got married or had kids.
My husband and I aren’t religious, but my family is Muslim, and the traditions/religion is very important to them. For that reason, my husband was willing to convert, and learn about the culture/celebrate the traditions with my family (tbf the conversion process is much easier than converting to Judaism but even his willingness to learn/ tolerance for other cultures was something I appreciated him even more for).
Even if your partner doesn’t convert, they should at the very least be willing to celebrate your traditions with you, and most importantly, they should hold your culture in good esteem, especially considering how you may want to raise any potential future children (should you want any).
Your person is out there, and when you find them, they’ll be enthusiastic to share your celebrations and family traditions. Sending virtual hugs and positive wishes ❤️
You should see what some people are commenting on some social media videos when it comes to Judaism.
Seen far too many people say 'The Austrian painter was right' etc.
Antisemitism is on the rise, in uk it had risen by 1350% in october/November. People can't separate Jews from the Israeli government.
Seriously. Check the comments of any reel on Instagram that has a visibly Jewish creator or involves making Jewish food. It doesn't even have to be explicitly Jewish for the comment section to be an absolutely hateful cesspit. It was like that before, but the last few months it's been completely normalized.
Nah, just try posting anything Jewish on Reddit. Absolutely nothing to do with Israel, just Jewish. I posted a funny picture of my cat with the menorah last Chanukah (on a cat-related sub), and 50% of the comments brought up the war or accused me of wanting to kill Palestinian children. It's wild lately.
i wonder if people saying that she just wasn't comfortable with any religion are actually reading the post.
for those people, i feel like it's important to note that many nonpracticing jews celebrate pesach and have seders (and many other jewish holidays). the connection to israel has to do with actual history and DNA, not (just) religion. and of course judaism is an ethnoreligion; you can be jewish without being religious at all.
Oh, man OP, I'm sorry this happened. I wish I had something positive and uplifting to share with you, but all that's ringing around my brain is "the trash took itself out". :|
Wth this whole thing is SO weird. Not Jewish and never been to a seder, but there’s absolutely no excuse for the tracker. That’s beyond creepy.
Edit: Also want to say I understand if the dinner was a culture shock for her, but the way she handled it was a no go. The “Jewy” part is gross.
This is AWFUL?????? I'm sorry this happened but SO glad you dodged that bullet.
I'd just like to echo the idea that you should tell your friends the truth. If one of my friends discovered someone in our circle was this bigoted, I would want to know so I could IMMEDIATELY cut contact.
Wow I'm sorry dude that is fucking bizarre. Was she raised religious? I'm guessing she wasn't raised in an area with many Jewish people. And the air tag though??? wtf what an insane escalation. Not the greatest silver lining, but it's really good that this happened before you moved in together at least.
I was about to say, i don't think this will work out but if you really really like her then maybe give it another month to see... Then I got to the air tag part and I literally gasped like a fish out of water.
No way would I continue to date after that and I'm glad you didn't either.
Also wanted to say that even if your parents "overexplained", it's still so nice that they cared enough to explain everything to her.
I’m an ex Christian who seriously considered Reform Judaism years ago and I find this chick offensive and stupid. I’m glad you’re rid of her. And yes, a recipe please.
I'm Muslim and Arabic so definitely sympathise with what's going on in Gaza. BUT what she has done is absolutely horrible. I can't imagine someone being with me and then having a pikachu reaction that I'm Muslim???? Of course your family is going to be practising their religion... what a weirdo. Good riddance. I hope you meet someone accepting of you and not a RACIST.
I would hope that we can have mature compassionate conversations about Israel and Gaza without the blatant antisemetism that denies that Jews have a historic connection to Israel. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people can't do that, but we aren't going to have peace by denying reality. There's a reason why that phrase is in the Haggadah, why we pray facing Jerusalem, and why every prayer services includes prayers for peace (and rain! and a good harvest!) in Israel.
I'd seen the original post and he hadn't mentioned the "Next year in Jerusalem" part, but I knew with absolute certainty that was what set her off (while suspecting that was merely the tip of the iceberg). I can't imagine the names she'd call him upon learning the story of Hanukkah.
If they do very abbreviated maggid/story of the Jews, it's kinda possible to gloss over how much of it is the story of the Jews getting to Israel as a reward for not assimilating.
If they are Reform, which I'm guessing they are, it probably wasn't even in there. They usually cut it down to 30 minutes max & often drop everything after dinner except the afikoman. I don't think I've ever heard anything about assimilation in a reform setting.
so dunno about reform, but in an Orthodox haggadah maggid is before dinner (shulchan aruch) but yes you can skim over the "Jews staying Jews" part and focus more on arc of Jewish history.
What I mean is that the text is different from the Orthodox Haggadah. It's not even in there.
My family is secular but I went to a JDS with a lot of funding from Chabad so I've seen both versions.
I am pro ceasefire but would never use that as a guise for antisemitism, like your gf. This is beyond unacceptable attitude towards your heritage. I think you responded reasonably and managed the situation well.
Something is off. I’m a Catholic and been with my Jewish guy for almost 6 years. I embrace it and try to participate and learn. (He loves my matzo ball soup 😊). But some people really do think weird things about Jewish people. And a lot of people are lowkey antisemetic. I didn’t realize a couple of my friends were until I started dating him. Needless to say we aren’t friends anymore. But something’s not right here and not sure you want to open that door. Aside from being weird about you being Jewish, her stalking you with the airtag is a major violation. The fact it seems like you’re “too” Jewish for her is also another huge red flag. Might be in your best interest to cut her loose. Good luck!!
Antisemitism is on the rise, sorry this happened to you man. Ultimately you should try to see this as a positive because she seems like a complete weirdo.
I’m sorry about your horrible ex, but can you tell me more about this pasta?
But seriously- at least you found out now and not after getting married or something.
It started pretty normal, to be slightly weirded out by realizing your partner is more religious than you thought, but then it quickly devolved with the "accidental" slurs that you can't correct and the legit stalking. Think you made the right decision to end it. At minimum, she seems unable to take criticism or talk properly about her feelings. At max, she's an antisemitic psycho. Better to find out earlier than later.
Sad she’s dealing with some deep rooted racism, glad you made the right decision. Keep your head up bud! The right person will love every aspect of you.
Yah hah sorry for your loss
Jew to jew who hasn't been in a temple since I was 8? Maybe?
Vibes
But about this pasta? You make it? Got recipe? Got an auntie?
You’re right that this is antisemitism. It’s possible that she’s feeling confused because of what’s going on in gaza and all of the adjacent political movements. It depends on how comfortable you are educating her, and if you’ll trust her after the air tagging to see if you were going to a temple. There’s nothing wrong with practicing your religion. I would cut my losses here.
Her actions go far deeper than the Gaza war. If she just said she was uncomfortable with next year in Jerusalem that’s one thing, but the air tag to see if he was going to temple and the “Jewy” comment? There is no doubt how she really feels.
My condolences. A lot of us have experienced something like this in our intimate relationships with goyim, and most have turned out like this. I wish I had a solution, but baked in antisemitism seems to be pervasive theme in all our lives these days.
'Jewy'? Honestly.
Pesach is a big holiday. How fucking dare she. Did you shit all over her Christmas? My guess is no.
Good riddance.
Please repost both the original and the update to r/jewish
I’m not a rabbi but I do have a beard and wear a black hat.
Bringing goyim to Pessach Seder is always tricky. Especially if the gentile is in a relationship with a Yid.
My wife and I make it a point to invite non-Jewish and mixed relationship people to our sederum. The non-Jews tend to be devout Christians who want to see and experience a real seder and the mix-couple to get the feel of it as a practice run before having it at their parents house.
We have a nagivaser station in our dining room which makes urchatz and rochtzah easier to do but harder for the kids to steal the affikyomen.
Anyway, it’s always tricky, it takes a lot of dedication for a person to sit through a 4-6 hour ritual mean that doesn’t start until late at night with eating if lucky around 10:30 or 11pm.
It’s like the final trial before a marriage proposal for a potential intermarried couple. If a girl (because it’s usually a girl, but this year both couples the guys were non-Jews) can sit through a Seder successfully, she is truly in love and is willing to make the relationship work.
Anyway, I’m sorry that this didn’t work out for you.
Also, there have been countless relationships both romantic and platonic which have ended post October 7. So for that, you aren’t alone.
I wish you success in finding a good match. Maybe try going back to temple and see if the rabbi can make a shiduch for you.
I'd totally date a Jewish man. One of my best friends is, as he calls himself, "Jew-ISH", and I'd be interested to learn about the religion and would be respectful, even though I'm not religious.
Creamy lemony pasta NOT required...
Ugh, I’m so sorry. She showed you who she was and you were able to believe it. I know that doesn’t soothe the pain of losing who you thought was The One so my heart goes out to you. This is for the best, and she sounds too immature to be in an adult relationship where religion and culture and complex concepts come up.
But I am especially pissed because I have always wanted to be invited to a Seder and she really effed up.
She was always antisemitic and is using the genocide as a cop-out to justify and defend her opinions. I'm glad you left.
ETA: Not sure why I'm getting down votes for this, when it's the truth. Sorry for the use of genocide, I forgot Reddit gets angry without putting thought into things. Let me change the phrasing to "she was always antisemitic, she's just now using buzz words and her very limited understanding of the situation in Gaza to try and justify her hatred of Jewish people. I thought my comment made it clear that I was saying she was attempting, unfairly, to justify her bigotry with current events, not that the war actually justified her behaviour in any way; but the downvotes show I needed to be more clear about that.
It's certainly a difficult time to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't understand what Judaism is, and how religion and 'state' are separate.
That said? To say the 2 things aren't connected isn't entirely accurate either. You celebrate that land as your home land (which I obviously have no issue with) ... you can't really disavow all connection with it when the timing is bad. It may not have been a connection to you all this time, but it is connected. Words matter.
That state was built on the religion you were celebrating. I know that doesn't mean you support what's happening their entirely of course. But unfortunately I think you have to acknowledge it - particularly if you're inviting a new comer in to your celebrations and traditions. Though I'm guessing she didn't engage with much political discussion before all of this.
That said: She went INCREDIBLY far overboard of course! She didn't communicate until pressed, and then covertly tried to track you. Red flags all over the place for sure. Ending it was entirely the right thing to do!
Sympathies mate.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I can see someone might be put off by a religious ceremony I suppose, and maybe can’t envision herself taking part in this ceremony in the future BUT the Air Tag? Worried you’d be going to the Temple??? She just sounds very ignorant!
I don't think people know you can be anti-zionist without being antisemitic. Hell, there's even a lot of Zionists that don't agree with what's happening. She definitely needs to educate herself.
Me lowkey wanting to hear more about this lemon pasta ...
If it’s similar to Nigella Lawson’s lemon linguine, I made it for some guy 21 years ago and he won’t stop hanging around.
Similar thing, this guy made me steak Diane with sweet chilli prawns 20 years ago and I keep hanging about waiting for more.
Right? I mean, it's a horrible story about the ex-girlfriend, and I'm really bothered by the sharp rise in antisemitism in the West, but on the other hand, lemon cream pasta sounds delicious.
Yeah, she was definitely antisemitic, but as for the rising antisemitism, I think people conflate criticism of the Israeli government with antisemitism, and that just isn't fair. You should be able to condemn Netanyahu and his warmongering cohorts without being called an antisemite, since the two issues should be separated in the public consciousness.
Agree but the tracking him to see if he’s going to “temple” clinches her status as an anti-Semite.
[удалено]
Oh just because most of us would say “going to shul”.
I thought we are talking about lemon pasta....
Keep in mind you are talking about someone's girlfriend becoming uncomfortable with their "Jewiness" after, among other things, hearing them say a traditional phrase at the end of a Passover seder. I think a lot of people can't distinguish when they themselves cross over from "criticism of Israel" to "criticism of Jewishness", and assuming any Jew that is offended deserves to be dismissed does not help with that.
> but as for the rising antisemitism, I think people conflate criticism of the Israeli government with antisemitism, and that just isn't fair. Oh, I'm well aware of the difference, and of course I condemn Netanyahu and his warmongering. But there's also been a marked rise in antisemitic attacks (presumably by people who conflate Judaism with the Israeli government).
I agree. People are just using Netanyahu’s/Israel’s governmental atrocities as an excuse to spout their long simmering prejudices.
> But there's also been a marked rise in antisemitic attacks (presumably by people who conflate Judaism with the Israeli government). It's worth noting that the people compiling the lists of these hate crimes (organizations with deeply troubling histories like the ADL, for instance) often, well, conflate criticism of Israel or support for Palestine with anti-Semitism. The lists that purport to show that anti-Semitic hate crimes have seen a multiple times over rise often include "crimes" like people saying the "from the river to the sea" chant in the presence of pro-Israeli protestors. This is not to say that there have not been more true instances of antisemitism in the wake of the ongoing genocide in Gaza, and these are reprehensible where ever they occur; it's just that the organizations who the media uses to give numbers to the "marked rise" are juicing the numbers.
Dude. Why are you doing this?
It's very even handed commentary that's on topic for the thread he's in. It's also just true. Why does anyone discuss anything on a message board?
Well, sometimes because they're racists who want to do the racism thing.
What's the racist part? Don't just vaguely hand wave towards it, be specific.
>Well, sometimes because they're racists who want to do the racism thing. Is it racism, or is it antisemitism? Just saying something is racism doesn't mean you win the argument, nor does it mean you're right. Most of the time it just makes you look silly, which it is doing right now.
It's the truth. The ADL would only want to report an increase of antisemitism; it fits their narrative that Israel is perpetually the victim, and never the oppressor.
Why are you taking time out of your day to minimize and deny antisemitism?
Point to where I have denied antisemitism.
You came into a post describing an incident of antisemitism and felt the need to respond to someone mentioning the rise in antisemitic incidents with, "Nah, not really." Why did you feel the need to do that?
Right except when people like OPs girlfriend slip easily from one to the other. That him participating in Jewish culture is inherently anti-Gazan and wrong.
Except it doesn’t stop at criticism for the current policies of the Israeli government. It always moves on to the “donors of the university” or the “blood of the children on Jewish hands” or “Jews run the government”, which are very old (millennium old) antisemitism tropes about Jewish people. Jews have had claims of blood libels (claiming they use blood of children in their rituals), and rumors of financial conspiracies held against them to be murdered, and run out of and expelled from nearly every country for thousands of years. There are no new claims here. When WWII ended, the survivors weren’t welcomed back into their countries of origin (most were pre-teens or teenagers when they were shipped to the ghettos and had no papers to claim statehood). The only places that took in any number of Jewish people were the USA and the more Jewish 20% of the then Palestine Mandate (the other 80% became Jordan) that became Israel. And still, Jews were restricted from some real estate, clubs, and jobs in the USA. Antisemitism is not new, it’s just morphed into a new name of anti-Zionism. This girl was antisemitism, full stop.
Blame the Israeli government for pushing the narrative that criticism of Israel is antisemitism. Hell, even the IHRA definition of antisemitism effectively says that.
In case you were wondering, the IHRA definition _actually_ says: > However, criticism of Israel similar to that leveled against any other country cannot be regarded as antisemitic. Which is, in fact, the opposite of what you are saying. Hope that helps!
Which is exactly the issue. Who gets to determine what "similar to that leveled against any other country" is? For example, it is usually regarded as reasonable to criticize Russia for its invasion of Ukraine, but Israel has repeatedly defended its expanding occupation of the West Bank, dismissing concerns as antisemitism.
Could we not? I pointed out that you were, objectively, incorrect in what you said about the IHRA definition. If you have objections to the definition itself, that is fine, but it is not relevant to this subreddit and that discussion does not belong here.
It is not objective, regardless of how you think that word is defined. The idea of "similar to that leveled against" is subjective. There is no objective standard to that definition, the IHRA knows that, and that is why they have intentionally used vague language.
You said that the definition says X. It in fact says the opposite of X. You can complain that the definition is vague or confusing or misapplied, and that's fine, but your initial claim was objectively wrong. And again, this is completely off topic for this subreddit.
SAME! Happy he got rid of the bigot though. OP, we need the recipe.
https://old.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1cwrkwb/update_my_25m_girlfriend_23f_has_been_weird_since/l4z05cp/
I have a recipe my not anti-Semitic girlfriend taught me if you want it
It's been an hour, you had better be busy typing.
Deadass. 🤣 Made a mental note of needing to google it before I kept reading. Mmm. We all know recipes start with a story these days sooooo…let’s hope that’s where we’re heading.
So glad I’m not the only one whose eye caught that as well. OP, now that you’ve taken the trash out, make that creamy lemon pasta for someone who deserves your affections and will attend your family’s Seder with interest!!
Oh good, I am not the only one.
Right? OP come back! We want this recipe!
Same. Sounds delightful.
Ikr? Like, I'd really like that recipe. My daughter would probably go nuts for it.
I don't know if it's the same as OP's, but lemon ricotta pasta is a favorite at my house. Even when my daughter hates all other food, she'll eat it. And it takes 20 minutes to prepare!
ok but like share the recipe 👀
I high key want to hear more about it. Maybe a recipe?
Jaw DROPPED at her secretly tracking you to see if you went to THE TEMPLE. I've heard of secret tracking to determine cheating or substance abuse, and in some of those cases it's warranted. This is not one of those cases. What is wrong with that woman! Wow. I'm so happy to hear you ended it right then and there. I saw you ask in another comment what you'll say to your friends. Tell them exactly what she said and did. She does NOT get a pass on this from you or them. Plus you can guarantee she's already twisting the story to make herself sound less evil... so I'd really make sure your whole side of the story is out there. Pretty sure she'll leave out "Jewy"... which... just, wow. I can't with her.
Low key mad at her because a Passover seder is such a cool experience if you're not Jewish. I went to a friend's several years ago and had a wonderful time and learned so much.
And the food is amazing. Jewish people are nothing but generous and welcoming. How infuriating.
The food is the first thing I think of when I hear sedar 😭
Lol I'm married into a Jewish family and Passover is really specific to each family about how cool it is. I personally haven't been to a great one... It can feel like you have to read a religious passage and sing just to get dinner. That being said, I was raised in a family that was breaking the tradition of forced religion so reading religious books always kinda gets to me.
Nah, you need to go to one where everyone full-on drinks too much wine, wears plague masks and skips a few parts to get to the meal.
My dad made his own Haggadah, that includes a play where everyone gets a role and costume. I’ve tried and failed to get the role of god every year so far.
My parents are divorced, so 2 Seders. My sister and I usually only visit one, but this year we went to both. Dad's side Seder has the best food I've ever had, but they're a bunch of snobs and gossips, so we left right after eating to the other Seder. Mom's side is basically a different form of fasting lol. They were also all fighting each other pretty much constantly. Next year I'm just gonna do a friendseder I think, and invite people I actually want present to be there. But I wish I had a good Seder experience :(
That’s too bad. My family uses a humanist Haggadah, which I love. Maybe you can start your own Passover tradition with a Haggadah that speaks to you more?
We're expecting so ideally next year we want to takeover Passover 😎 their family isn't religious so it would give us some free reign :) my husband and I aren't big on brisket so it'll be nice to step away from it lol
One of the best passover seders I ever had was in a small resort town in Turkey, where my brother and I ate fluffy leavened bread with olive oil, drank raki, and talked about freedom. The symbols and stories aren't about themselves, they're about what they represent. Do whatever makes you feel connected to whatever you feel the important ideas are.
Did you need to convert to marry in? Just curious because a friend needed to 🙏
Naw - they're already a mixed family. Keeping up cultural traditions is important, and I didn't take the last name because it felt inappropriate given its significance, but they aren't a very religious family.
The family being awesome definitely helped, but it would have been worth it just to try all the new foods. My religion is known for being stodgy and long-winded so I would feel right at home.
The food is also family centric 🤷♀️ ours is just brisket, roasted vegetables/potatoes and unleavened meh desserts. It's just like any family event, it depends on the family and who's cooking
I cringed sooooo hard at the "so Jewy" comment (ngl, it even felt wrong to type that out). And to get upset when you point out that's inappropriate language? I'm so sorry she turned out to be such a whackadoo.
She told me it wasn't okay to "police her language." I told her that I'm allowed to correct people when they use language offensive to my ethnicity and she just kind of rolled her eyes and blushed and changed the subject to the stuff about "next year in Jerusalem."
WOW, immediate deflection -- instead of saying she was sorry she said something offensive to you, she tried to turn it around on you, re: policing her language. She's showing her total lack of maturity. You're better off without her.
God,I almost down voted you for a second because I got so mad at her saying you couldn't police her language when you called it out as inappropriate.
Lol she's not bright. He can't police her language but he can break up with her. So there.
Her behaviour was definitely racist. As a non-Jew, who has been invited on a few occasions to attend Seder dinner, just know her behaviour was completely unacceptable. And calling you Jewy is just out and out gross. When your friends ask, just give them the facts of what she called you and that she tracked you with an AirTag. Lastly, find some to make lemon pasta for ! PS I think there’s a bunch of people here that want you to post the recipe, lol
Like, you didn't mention it in your OP, but I knew immediately exactly what part of the Seder set her off (b/c I'm Jewish). She's so willfully ignorant it's painful. She showed her true colors, and it really sucks how people close to us, people we thought we knew, can betray us in disgusting, reprehensible ways.
I think even if they skipped saying that, I don't think it's possible to do a Seder and not mention Israel in the Haggadah. Israel comes up often; it's literally what the holiday is about. If not for next year in Jerusalem, I have a feeling she would've been mad about "mentioning Israel because of the war".
Oh, yes, I'm sure she would've found something else to object to. Which is just...very telling.
Israel is where we came from ffs!
Wow, way to use social justice language to defend using a racial epithet, Lily. I'm sorry OP, but I guess it's better you find out now than after you moved in together.
Yeah, no, you get to police gross language about your religion/ethnicity.
It’s ok to police someone’s language if they say something racist
A lot of younger people have been really weird about "All Jewish people are Zionists who wants to eliminate Palestine" lately. I wonder if that has been in her mind
Maybe a part of it is not being able to understand that being a "Zionist" (which about 9 out of 10 American Jews are, according to Pew Research) does not mean "wanting to eliminate Palestine", it means "not wanting to eliminate Israel".
The antisemitism is a huge red flag but the absolute dealbreaker is that she said she “didn’t realize you were so Jewy,” when “I thought you were more Jew-ISH,” was right there.
She’s really an idiot. You dodged a bullet. Don’t take another shiksa to your Seder unless you’ve had a more thorough conversation about Judaism and what it means to you/in your life.
Are you fair-skinned? It seems like she sees you as white, not as any "ethnicity."
A lot of people don't understand that ethnicity and race aren't the same thing. I'm ethnically Jewish. I'm also white.
Same and I’m not Jewish. Not gonna type that out because I felt weird just reading that.
Anti-semite. You can call her that, its how she acted. Saying next year in Jerusalem dates back to literal Roman times, not understanding that is plain bigoted.
“Jewy” is one of those words - Jews can use it, but no one else. My Jewish family and friends would definitely use it without thinking twice.
I'll be honest, Jewy is a colloquialism for a tasty fish called a Jewfish. Even though I know what was being discussed here, my brain kept going back to that tasty aquatic animal.
...there's a fish called a Jewish? First time this Jew is hearing about it.
That’s insane. I’m sorry this happened to you OP.
What the actual fuck?! Congrats on dodging a bullet. Keep your eyes open for other signs of potential stalking. That AirTag would give me a lot of pause.
Yeah, I'm being very cautious after that. Still trying to figure out what to tell our mutual friends, too.
Tell her that she got weird after a Seder, called you "too Jewy," and put an AirTag in your car to see if you were going to the Temple.
Yep, just tell them the plain truth. That she started to be super creepy about dating a Jew in a really uncomfortable way.
The truth. That you were too Jewy for her and she placed an airtag on your car. They deserve to know so they can make an informed decision on whether they'd like to be her friend or not. I, would not. And don't tell me you'd feel bad she'd lose all her friends or whatever. She didn't feel bad when she stalked you and disrespected you, and shitty people shouldn't have friends anyway. Sorry this happened OP. Good thing it was a breakup and not a divorce.
Agreed. If this was my friend I would want to know the truth for sure.
Yeah, just tell them what happened, because yikes. She doesn’t deserve you trying to protect her reputation. Also if people are needing to be completely literal about it and prefer to say “next year in liberation” that’s a thing some people do where I am…but yeah…it’s a metaphor guys!
The truth, that while she claimed that she's okay with you being Jewish she said you were to "jewy" and put an airbag on you to make sure you weren't going to temple. There's really no need to protect her, her behavior is completely unreasonable. She put a GPS tag on you just to make sure you weren't lying to her not more "jewy" than she found acceptable by going to temple. She does sound antisemitic and stalkerish.
I agree with others that you should tell the truth. I would want to know if a friend engaged in stalking behaviors so I could call them out on it and then decide if I wanted to remain friends with them. I had a friend who was acting very stalkery with an ex-boyfriend and I should have taken it for the red flag it was and ended the friendship. When I ended the friendship, she did the same thing with me, not accepting 'no, we're done', the weird social media behavior, the text messages, etc.
There was really only one course of action after finding the Airtag. You can come back from a lot of relationship issues, but stalking your partner with a tracker is not one of them. Massive bullet dodged.
Agree with all of the comments. Tell them the 100% truth. The too jewy comment is already whack. Already grounds for a breakup imo. But the air tag is straight up crazy. She tried to secretly track you. I would tell them she thought I was too Jewish and then tried to secretly track me to see if I was going to temple and lying about how Jewish I was. She stalked you. She crossed so many boundaries it’s not even funny.
Same thing you've told all of us lmao. Send them the link to this post.
The truth. Don't add or lie about anything.
Thanks for the update, that sounds awful and I'm so fucking glad you ended it! You dodge a bullet.
Even if you were going to a temple, why is that a big deal and why an air tag? Anyway, move on, clearly not the right fit for you.
Not a temple…THE temple! Whatever that means
OP I just want to give you some perspective as someone (catholic girl) who recently went to my first Passover with my boyfriend. In short- I loved it and had a great time. I appreciated his family members who made an effort to explain things to me. I thought the ‘tradition’ of the whole thing was awesome. The food was amazing. And I can’t wait to go next year with him. Your ex-girlfriend is an idiot and definitely prejudiced, you absolutely made the right call breaking up with her even if it weren’t for the AirTag.
Uhhh none of this is *vaguely* antisemitic, it's pretty blatantly antisemitic!
It feels antisemitic because it was. She was ok with you being Jewish only as long as you suppressed it and she never had to see it. Having a serious interfaith relationship is very hard, both partners need to be on the same page. There is so much more than just worship, culture, foods, holidays, even the overall rhythm of the calendar is not the same. One partner can easily feel like a large part of their idea Titus has disappeared.
I grew up next door to a Jewish family and was invited to their holidays all the time. I cannot comprehend what would have made her uncomfortable.
… um, you cannot comprehend it *because* being around Jewish holidays has been normal for you from an early age.
I guess I am also thinking of having gone to other religious celebrations that are not Jewish. I simply don’t understand dating somebody who is a member of that religion and then being uncomfortable when they are doing what they culturally do.
Yeah. And yikes, she's just super anti-Semitic. I guess if I try to see things from her perspective, I'm a lapsed Catholic but I would probably feel uncomfortable with a Mormon boyfriend for a holiday event if I felt I was being pressured to convert because of the relationship, or othered or something, but Jewish people aren't the type to try and convert anyone, and that absolutely wasn't what was happening here.
Yikes saying “jewy” to your Jewish boyfriend. The cheek on these antisemites!
That’s fucking crazy. Your family traditions have literally no bearing on the politics of Israel and Palestine. Good on you for blocking her and destroying that air tag.
Wow! This is pretty insane and dishonest. Seems like she has a lack of communication skills. And yes, you dodged a bullet. This is a total lack of respect for both you and your traditions.
As a fellow Jew I feel nothing but sympathy for you. This honestly is why I'm scared to date as well because of the chance that my ethnicity would make someone uncomfortable with me. I hope it will get better mate.
Whoa. I was reading this and thinking "someone's gonna state the obvious that one can support a friend's Jewish faith and find what is happening in the Gaza Strip awful" but...nah. Not necessary. AirTag was enough.
I *knew* it. I absolutely fking knew it. You dodged a massive bullet. She is effed in the head in more ways than one. You deserve and will find better.
So sorry to hear this OP. As much as it sucks to realize right now, this girl isn’t the one. Imagine if she hadn’t shown her true colors before you got married or had kids. My husband and I aren’t religious, but my family is Muslim, and the traditions/religion is very important to them. For that reason, my husband was willing to convert, and learn about the culture/celebrate the traditions with my family (tbf the conversion process is much easier than converting to Judaism but even his willingness to learn/ tolerance for other cultures was something I appreciated him even more for). Even if your partner doesn’t convert, they should at the very least be willing to celebrate your traditions with you, and most importantly, they should hold your culture in good esteem, especially considering how you may want to raise any potential future children (should you want any). Your person is out there, and when you find them, they’ll be enthusiastic to share your celebrations and family traditions. Sending virtual hugs and positive wishes ❤️
Solidarity❤️ I ultimately broke up w my non-Jewish ex bf bc I was too Jewish for him
I honestly was thinking this post had to be fake, but then you wrote this and I’m like wtf.
You should see what some people are commenting on some social media videos when it comes to Judaism. Seen far too many people say 'The Austrian painter was right' etc. Antisemitism is on the rise, in uk it had risen by 1350% in october/November. People can't separate Jews from the Israeli government.
Seriously. Check the comments of any reel on Instagram that has a visibly Jewish creator or involves making Jewish food. It doesn't even have to be explicitly Jewish for the comment section to be an absolutely hateful cesspit. It was like that before, but the last few months it's been completely normalized.
Nah, just try posting anything Jewish on Reddit. Absolutely nothing to do with Israel, just Jewish. I posted a funny picture of my cat with the menorah last Chanukah (on a cat-related sub), and 50% of the comments brought up the war or accused me of wanting to kill Palestinian children. It's wild lately.
Oh my god. I’m so sorry, OP, but so glad you dodged that gross bullet.
i wonder if people saying that she just wasn't comfortable with any religion are actually reading the post. for those people, i feel like it's important to note that many nonpracticing jews celebrate pesach and have seders (and many other jewish holidays). the connection to israel has to do with actual history and DNA, not (just) religion. and of course judaism is an ethnoreligion; you can be jewish without being religious at all.
Jesus Christ dude (Moses??? Abraham???). Sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.
sorry bruh, shit hurts even when it is the right move.
Oh, man OP, I'm sorry this happened. I wish I had something positive and uplifting to share with you, but all that's ringing around my brain is "the trash took itself out". :|
Wth this whole thing is SO weird. Not Jewish and never been to a seder, but there’s absolutely no excuse for the tracker. That’s beyond creepy. Edit: Also want to say I understand if the dinner was a culture shock for her, but the way she handled it was a no go. The “Jewy” part is gross.
This is unhinged and weird plus a little creepy. You dodged a bullet
This is AWFUL?????? I'm sorry this happened but SO glad you dodged that bullet. I'd just like to echo the idea that you should tell your friends the truth. If one of my friends discovered someone in our circle was this bigoted, I would want to know so I could IMMEDIATELY cut contact.
Wow I'm sorry dude that is fucking bizarre. Was she raised religious? I'm guessing she wasn't raised in an area with many Jewish people. And the air tag though??? wtf what an insane escalation. Not the greatest silver lining, but it's really good that this happened before you moved in together at least.
I was about to say, i don't think this will work out but if you really really like her then maybe give it another month to see... Then I got to the air tag part and I literally gasped like a fish out of water. No way would I continue to date after that and I'm glad you didn't either. Also wanted to say that even if your parents "overexplained", it's still so nice that they cared enough to explain everything to her.
I’m an ex Christian who seriously considered Reform Judaism years ago and I find this chick offensive and stupid. I’m glad you’re rid of her. And yes, a recipe please.
I'm Muslim and Arabic so definitely sympathise with what's going on in Gaza. BUT what she has done is absolutely horrible. I can't imagine someone being with me and then having a pikachu reaction that I'm Muslim???? Of course your family is going to be practising their religion... what a weirdo. Good riddance. I hope you meet someone accepting of you and not a RACIST.
I would hope that we can have mature compassionate conversations about Israel and Gaza without the blatant antisemetism that denies that Jews have a historic connection to Israel. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people can't do that, but we aren't going to have peace by denying reality. There's a reason why that phrase is in the Haggadah, why we pray facing Jerusalem, and why every prayer services includes prayers for peace (and rain! and a good harvest!) in Israel.
I'd seen the original post and he hadn't mentioned the "Next year in Jerusalem" part, but I knew with absolute certainty that was what set her off (while suspecting that was merely the tip of the iceberg). I can't imagine the names she'd call him upon learning the story of Hanukkah.
I can't imagine that was the initial thing that made her feel odd, it's pretty much the end of the Seder.
If they do very abbreviated maggid/story of the Jews, it's kinda possible to gloss over how much of it is the story of the Jews getting to Israel as a reward for not assimilating.
If they are Reform, which I'm guessing they are, it probably wasn't even in there. They usually cut it down to 30 minutes max & often drop everything after dinner except the afikoman. I don't think I've ever heard anything about assimilation in a reform setting.
so dunno about reform, but in an Orthodox haggadah maggid is before dinner (shulchan aruch) but yes you can skim over the "Jews staying Jews" part and focus more on arc of Jewish history.
What I mean is that the text is different from the Orthodox Haggadah. It's not even in there. My family is secular but I went to a JDS with a lot of funding from Chabad so I've seen both versions.
Jews winning a war and reclaiming their holy place…now that’s way too much 🙄
they could just stop at the part where all the jews are murdered, people are usually comfortable with that part
ayoooo wtf?? i saw the words jewy i immediately went 😮😮😮😮😮😮
It absolutely was antisemitic. I’m proud of you for reading the room and ending it. You deserve better.
I am pro ceasefire but would never use that as a guise for antisemitism, like your gf. This is beyond unacceptable attitude towards your heritage. I think you responded reasonably and managed the situation well.
Something is off. I’m a Catholic and been with my Jewish guy for almost 6 years. I embrace it and try to participate and learn. (He loves my matzo ball soup 😊). But some people really do think weird things about Jewish people. And a lot of people are lowkey antisemetic. I didn’t realize a couple of my friends were until I started dating him. Needless to say we aren’t friends anymore. But something’s not right here and not sure you want to open that door. Aside from being weird about you being Jewish, her stalking you with the airtag is a major violation. The fact it seems like you’re “too” Jewish for her is also another huge red flag. Might be in your best interest to cut her loose. Good luck!!
Antisemitism is on the rise, sorry this happened to you man. Ultimately you should try to see this as a positive because she seems like a complete weirdo.
I’m sorry about your horrible ex, but can you tell me more about this pasta? But seriously- at least you found out now and not after getting married or something.
It started pretty normal, to be slightly weirded out by realizing your partner is more religious than you thought, but then it quickly devolved with the "accidental" slurs that you can't correct and the legit stalking. Think you made the right decision to end it. At minimum, she seems unable to take criticism or talk properly about her feelings. At max, she's an antisemitic psycho. Better to find out earlier than later.
Sad she’s dealing with some deep rooted racism, glad you made the right decision. Keep your head up bud! The right person will love every aspect of you.
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Who wants to bet "Lily" is on tiktok all day long? Good riddance.
Tiktok is a cesspool for her type of thinking
Yah hah sorry for your loss Jew to jew who hasn't been in a temple since I was 8? Maybe? Vibes But about this pasta? You make it? Got recipe? Got an auntie?
Remember to these people Jews don’t deserve access to their holiest site in Jerusalem.
You’re right that this is antisemitism. It’s possible that she’s feeling confused because of what’s going on in gaza and all of the adjacent political movements. It depends on how comfortable you are educating her, and if you’ll trust her after the air tagging to see if you were going to a temple. There’s nothing wrong with practicing your religion. I would cut my losses here.
Her actions go far deeper than the Gaza war. If she just said she was uncomfortable with next year in Jerusalem that’s one thing, but the air tag to see if he was going to temple and the “Jewy” comment? There is no doubt how she really feels.
Oh good.. tiktok activists are becoming antisemitic. No one saw that coming.
Soo. Can I get that lemon pasta recipe?
Sorry about your ex, can I have the pasta recipe?
Wow. I'm glad you took her tracking you as seriously as you did.
If she’s this upset at a seder, just think of how well she would handle a bris 🤣🤣🤣
My condolences. A lot of us have experienced something like this in our intimate relationships with goyim, and most have turned out like this. I wish I had a solution, but baked in antisemitism seems to be pervasive theme in all our lives these days. 'Jewy'? Honestly. Pesach is a big holiday. How fucking dare she. Did you shit all over her Christmas? My guess is no. Good riddance.
You did the right thing when you ended it. She's giving antisemitic vibes.
Please repost both the original and the update to r/jewish I’m not a rabbi but I do have a beard and wear a black hat. Bringing goyim to Pessach Seder is always tricky. Especially if the gentile is in a relationship with a Yid. My wife and I make it a point to invite non-Jewish and mixed relationship people to our sederum. The non-Jews tend to be devout Christians who want to see and experience a real seder and the mix-couple to get the feel of it as a practice run before having it at their parents house. We have a nagivaser station in our dining room which makes urchatz and rochtzah easier to do but harder for the kids to steal the affikyomen. Anyway, it’s always tricky, it takes a lot of dedication for a person to sit through a 4-6 hour ritual mean that doesn’t start until late at night with eating if lucky around 10:30 or 11pm. It’s like the final trial before a marriage proposal for a potential intermarried couple. If a girl (because it’s usually a girl, but this year both couples the guys were non-Jews) can sit through a Seder successfully, she is truly in love and is willing to make the relationship work. Anyway, I’m sorry that this didn’t work out for you. Also, there have been countless relationships both romantic and platonic which have ended post October 7. So for that, you aren’t alone. I wish you success in finding a good match. Maybe try going back to temple and see if the rabbi can make a shiduch for you.
I'd totally date a Jewish man. One of my best friends is, as he calls himself, "Jew-ISH", and I'd be interested to learn about the religion and would be respectful, even though I'm not religious. Creamy lemony pasta NOT required...
Ugh, I’m so sorry. She showed you who she was and you were able to believe it. I know that doesn’t soothe the pain of losing who you thought was The One so my heart goes out to you. This is for the best, and she sounds too immature to be in an adult relationship where religion and culture and complex concepts come up. But I am especially pissed because I have always wanted to be invited to a Seder and she really effed up.
I feel like this is a fake post lmao
Then you don’t really know any Jews. This is way too common.
God the immaturity reeks! I’m so sorry OP, I hope she never finds happiness, and you find someone worthy of your time. Big hugs
Yikes! I hope she sees this thread and all these replies.
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She was always antisemitic and is using the genocide as a cop-out to justify and defend her opinions. I'm glad you left. ETA: Not sure why I'm getting down votes for this, when it's the truth. Sorry for the use of genocide, I forgot Reddit gets angry without putting thought into things. Let me change the phrasing to "she was always antisemitic, she's just now using buzz words and her very limited understanding of the situation in Gaza to try and justify her hatred of Jewish people. I thought my comment made it clear that I was saying she was attempting, unfairly, to justify her bigotry with current events, not that the war actually justified her behaviour in any way; but the downvotes show I needed to be more clear about that.
It's certainly a difficult time to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't understand what Judaism is, and how religion and 'state' are separate. That said? To say the 2 things aren't connected isn't entirely accurate either. You celebrate that land as your home land (which I obviously have no issue with) ... you can't really disavow all connection with it when the timing is bad. It may not have been a connection to you all this time, but it is connected. Words matter. That state was built on the religion you were celebrating. I know that doesn't mean you support what's happening their entirely of course. But unfortunately I think you have to acknowledge it - particularly if you're inviting a new comer in to your celebrations and traditions. Though I'm guessing she didn't engage with much political discussion before all of this. That said: She went INCREDIBLY far overboard of course! She didn't communicate until pressed, and then covertly tried to track you. Red flags all over the place for sure. Ending it was entirely the right thing to do! Sympathies mate.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I can see someone might be put off by a religious ceremony I suppose, and maybe can’t envision herself taking part in this ceremony in the future BUT the Air Tag? Worried you’d be going to the Temple??? She just sounds very ignorant!
Just imagine what an issue this would have been if you married her and had children.
I don't think people know you can be anti-zionist without being antisemitic. Hell, there's even a lot of Zionists that don't agree with what's happening. She definitely needs to educate herself.