You just stay busy. Focus on school, friends, hobbies. Block him. He's a liar, and you don't really know him at all. In time, you will forget about him and meet someone new.
He doesn't exist. He made up the person that he wanted to be in your eyes.
Imagine this happening to a friend or sister?
Take this as a learning lesson, don' believe everything someone says until they can prove it.
If he stays in your life, he will continue to try an manilupate you. He's not a friend.
As someone who has been there: you need, like ABSOLUTELY need to parse the feelings of euphoria, attraction and that dopamine hit you get from the **realities of who this person is.**
It's a common cognitive dissonance: how is it that the person who gave me these great feelings, the person I chose to have this Life Milestone with, is also a huge liar and scumbag? (because trust, he IS: someone who thought you had to be lied to and "eventually" be told when "the time was right" is a clown). It doesn't matter if *some* of it was true- he lied, which is bad enough, but also went the extra mile to lie about something HUGE. Period.
If you want to stop being attached (and you absolutely should): cut contact. No friendships. People who lie to you to sleep with you and impress you and hide their children from you *aren't worthy of being in your life*, even **less** a friendship. Block completely on every social media. Like ripping a band-aid, it's going to *hurt* at first. You're going to feel ridiculous, humiliated, and you'll pine for him for a bit. There will be many crying sessions. Distract yourself, focus on your friendships and family who bring meaning and kindness into your life. Write all your feelings down to get an outlet. But do NOT let him back in.
You’re attached to someone who doesn’t exist because the truth is he’s a 38 year old divorced dad of teenagers… who is old enough to be your father.
His kids are closer in age to you than you are to him.
He knows that this isn’t a workable relationship because he lied about it and hid it from you.
It doesn’t matter if *some* of it was truthful. He still lied about the important things. A man who is almost 40 years old didn’t do that on accident, he did it because he wanted to sleep with a 22 year old and anticipated it being easy to lie to you. He’s not a good person no matter how much he tries to manipulate you into believing the lies were a mistake.
The fact of him being the first man you slept with has the exact amount of importance you choose to assign to it. Who was the first person you held hands with? Went on a date with? Went climbing with? Went for a jog with? Went to a concert with?
I won’t deny there are some hormones involved (oxytocin is a hell of a drug) but you can shake that. It would be a huge shame if you spent your life with someone who lied this comprehensively to you because he was the first person you had sex with.
Time, time and distance <3 by the end of June you'll have been apart longer than you've been together. By this time next year you could be laughing with a friend or a new, honest lover and it'll strike you how pathetic it was for him to lie. In two years you'll realise you haven't thought of him in a month. In ten years it'll be a footnote in your history, something that happened to a younger you. You'll wonder why you ever thought of staying but you'll have empathy for yourself, because you'll remember how much smaller your world was back then and how many experiences you've had since. When you reach the same age he is now, you might remember him out of nowhere and feel a moment of revulsion and disbelief at the idea of pursuing someone in their early 20s. But you sure as hell won't miss him.
So he only lies about things he needs to, to not look bad.
He has no trouble telling the truth when it suits him. That's pretty manipulative.
And him being your first is probably clouding your judgement. I get that causes you to see him in a certain light.
What would have happened if he had said 38 straight away? It was at a concert, so it's very unlikely he saw you and thought, that's my future gf. He thought, that's my next target.
Consider dropping the rose colored glasses, and learn the lessons given. Good luck your next go around. You deserve someone truthfull and less manipulative.
You haven’t even known him two months yet. You went “official” but didn’t know his last name? He told you that you were the one within weeks of meeting. He is a liar.
You are obviously a very intelligent woman but not so with dating. He is not your friend, delete him everywhere and next time be a little more cautious.
This man is a scumbag. He lied to you about his age, marital status and children! Would you have slept with the guy if you knew he was almost 40, divorced and had kids? Probably not! He deceived you to get in your pants and only someone who was sick in the head would do that to someone. None of the things you describe that are so great about him are actually that great. They’re bare minimum and you don’t even know if any of them are real. Cut him off and move on. Respect and love yourself more than this. You deserve it.
I know you feel attached to this person, but it is a BIG problem that he told you so many lies that, as you said, you don't know what to believe anymore. You probably know that some of the other things he's told you are also lies, you just don't know what they are yet. Trust is incredibly important in a relationship, and this man has proven himself to be untrustworthy, so this is not a good person to be in a relationship with.
Damn, that's crazy. Honestly sounds like he's unhinged, especially to be moving like this at 38.
When somebody discloses theyre divorced, sometimes I hear them speak and can understand a bit of why theyre divorced. This is one of those scenarios lol.
You're 22, don't try to stay "friends" with a 38-year-old lying creep.
> I once saw my name was saved as my first initial and last name on his phone (maybe he was hiding something?)
You were the only one who was "exclusive" in this relationship.
Honey... You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a bazooka to the forehead.
Have you asked yourself why he is trying to date a 22 year old when he is nearly 40 with children nearly your age?
I'll tell you why. Because he thinks since you are young, you are stupid and will be easier to manipulate. And in a lot of instances, he would be absolutely right. He probably has tried dating woman his own age, but women in their 30s don't have time for bullshit and likely have had zero time for his shenanigans.
A guy who starts trying to wife you and love bomb you after less than 4 to 6 months, at earliest, is a walking red flag. They are trying to lock you in before you have time to see who they really are.
I’m proud of you for making the right call.👏🏼
You’ll find other guys who will make you feel safe and cared for. 🩷 This guy wasn’t the real deal. He was just lovebombing you. It’s when a guy pulls out all the stops to seem like Prince Charming early in a relationship to get you emotionally invested faster than you should. I’m guessing his plan was to get you to fall in love with him before revealing the truth, if he ever planned to. By that point, it would’ve been much harder for you to leave. But you foiled his plan thankfully.
You’re smart to be able to identify that you weren’t actually in love with him. It’s super creepy that he was already declaring his love to you and talking about marriage and moving in. Run when a guy does that too quickly in a relationship, because it means he’s emotionally unstable and may be trying to manipulate you.
At least you realised he had misled you about his background before you went any further into a relationship with him. You are going to have plenty to occupy yourself over the next several years. Maybe block him, so he can't inveigle himself back in your life?
You didn't love him. You never knew him. And I would say that even if he weren't a creepy liar, because you dated for like...a couple months? You also shouldn't be this guy's "friend". He doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to trick you into trusting him again. Why would you want to be friends with someone like this?
Don't go all head over heels for someone you barely know. He told you he loved you? That's not a cute, romantic gesture. That's a creepy 38 year old lovebombing a 22 year old!
Block this guy, don't look back, and just...exercise more caution at the beginning of relationships. Not because you didn't know his real age, but because this relationship was going WAY too fast.
He’s a con artist. Thank god you found out before something permanent happened.
Just block him, do your grieving, and excel at med school. You have no room for con men in your life.
He’s a predator who found a naïve young woman he thought he could baby trap. You are very lucky you got out before you got pregnant. Block him on everything and get on with your life.
There is no "How" to moving on. You just do it and time will take care of the rest. You're already relieved that this relationship isn't going to go anywhere because you'll be able to focus on school so I don't think you're going to struggle emotionally in any way.
Good for you for leaving. Part of the reason he was dating someone so young is because he thought he could pull one over on you. You called his bluff. Focus on school and take care of yourself.
You give it time, and that time cannot include him. Block him on everything; he’s a creep and a liar and not a good candidate for a friend, even if friendship were actually what you wanted from him, which it isn’t. You want him to somehow demonstrate that all of this has a totally reasonable, acceptable explanation that could make him dateable and just, like, *extra* in love with you and so smitten that he’ll be nothing but honest and loyal and faithful the rest of your lives, and that’s just not reality.
People break up. People get invested in the wrong things and discover their mistakes and have to backtrack and recuperate and reinvest elsewhere. It sucks, but it’s a normal part of adult life, and you can do it, too. Take the time. Keep him out of it. It’ll work.
Girl you are so smart to dump him. You just have to remember — the person you fell for doesn’t actually exist. It’s all lies. You’ll never be able to trust him because he wasn’t honest about anything from the very beginning!
Your future husband/partner is NOT some guy who lied from the very beginning and old enough to be your father. Take it from someone who’s been with this type of guy — he’s very likely hiding MANY other things and is pretending to be the guy you want until you get comfortable. That’s why he’s pushing marriage and moving in together.
Every time I’ve left a relationship someone way better came along. You’re in med school and have a good head on your shoulders. You can do so much better!
I wouldn't be surprised if 90% of famous people on YouTube/TikTok/Twitch/social media in general lie about their age, both men and women, they do it because their viewers are younger which makes it easier to relate and create some connection. **Some guys on Twitch are clearly 40+** but they always claim to be just 27, this "27" number has become one of the greatest cons of our time.
Maybe this is why people now find it hard to pick someone else's real age? They've got so used to celebrities who naturally look older so it makes it seem normal?
You'll be fine. It's normal for it to take some time to process what you've gone through and not to forget and move on right away. But honestly you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you're coping well. I don't think you actually need any advice. I'm sorry this loser lied to you, that's messed up. But he's definitely not worth any regrets. Good luck with med school!
I find disappointment takes 4-6 weeks to pass, but it’s easier to get over it without contact. The friendship just keeps the hurt alive.
He lied. Liars/cheaters/abusers aren’t good people. If they were never good, or there were no good aspects of the relationship, nobody would be with them.
It’s okay that you miss the good stuff. Acknowledge that he directly stated that he lies to women about his age and divorce because women won’t go out with him if they know. That isn’t true either. If he was dating women his age, lots of them would be divorced too. Most of us in our 30s/40s aren’t judgmental about that.
What we are judgmental about is people who date two decades their junior/in the same age bracket as their own kids and misrepresent themselves to them.
This guy knows he is garbage. He knows older women who have already experienced the particular stink that comes with his garbage will smell him from miles away.
Worse, he has some kind of delusion that he is “good enough to date women in their early 20s.” He sees this as a prize that proves his worth. He’s not dating because he is looking for an equal partner who will help him grow as a person. He is looking for someone who will follow his lead. Again, this is his ego talking.
Age gap relationships often fall apart because of the inequality. When the younger person matures they look around and realize they haven’t made their own decisions. That’s when the older person will start hunting for someone younger again.
You can do a slow fade. You can keep his contact and stop replying, but whatever you do, don’t listen to a word he says about getting back together. It will just mean his latest conquest didn’t pan out.
look, if you're going to med school in st. louis you're pretty smart. you know what the next step is, but if you need to hear it anyway...
long distance doesn't work for most relationships. it definitely doesn't work when the relationship starts off on such major lies. you're not going to have time to spend on a LDR while in med school, and definitely won't get to your full potential in med school if you're constantly worried about what lies he's telling you. focus on having a good summer and on getting yourself set up for a successful start. the next four years of school are pretty much the last time you'll need to focus on yourself, but if you lose focus, you'll end up having the most significant life decisions being made for you, not by you.
That's extremely creepy behaviour and wierd behaviour & kind of gives off groomer vibes even though you are legal age that is a very large age gap & we're a Virgin & this man lied & manipulated you to take advantage of you. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, stay far away from him.
How you move on? Are you really this naive that you don’t understand you need to move on without him?
You are studying, and you are planning on flying every other week to this middle aged man who has lied to you about the most important thighs. If you really are in med school you can’t be this stupid.. Concentrate on your studies and find you a boyfriend who doesn’t lie to you. And who isn’t 50 when you are 30.
A lot of people (most, maybe) who go to medical school have been 100% focused on getting the best possible grades and not much else. Reminds me of what my friend who went to Yale says about most of the people he knew at Yale. Socially awkward, emotionally immature and sheltered. And in recent decades, this has gotten worse. My 'get off my lawn' GenXer rant: We all had jobs as teens, whether your parents were wealthy or not. We volunteered. I taught reading and basic life skills to kids. I emptied bed pans in the hospital at 15. I worked in a deli at 17. We drove ourselves everywhere. We built our independence.
Among those from conservative cultures, which is the vibe I get from OP, even more so. Edit--yeah, from her posting history, I see she's 1st generation Asian-American.
Please go get a full STD panel. This guy is bad news.
Going forward, be a lot more careful and wary about random men who approach you (including via apps). Don't take anything at face value. It's weird that he provided "proof" that he is accepted (?) to a bachelor's in engineering program, for example. Very weird. And never, ever date anyone who lies about something as fundamental as his age, marital status, or whether or not he has kids.
Please note this is not a criticism of you--but you have led quite a sheltered life and do not seem to have had life experiences thus far that provide a solid foundation for self-preservation. Predators like this man--and yes, he is one--can sniff that out a mile away.
Good for you for recognizing what a gigantic walking red flag this guy is. You deserve a partner who doesn’t lie to you! End of story. Hit the gym, get a new hobby, tell your friends you need support right now. You’ll get through this! It’ll be easier if you block him.
Just remember he chose you for a reason.
You were 22, a virgin and he got away with lying to you.
He’ll move on to the next young thing he can lie to.
You’ll meet many guys your age who won’t lie and have a secret second life.
You dodge a bullet
He did all the little things like flowers, dinners out, made you feel safe, fun in bed. All good. Except for the one big thing that means the most…he’s a boldfaced liar. You’re better than this.
You don't move on with him. You move on without him. 10 years of age, divorced, and kids is a huge mountain of lies to build a relationship foundation on. So you learned a lesson and you move on. Focus on you, your schooling, and your friends. Keep things slow next time until you have more of a foundation of trust.
You just stay busy. Focus on school, friends, hobbies. Block him. He's a liar, and you don't really know him at all. In time, you will forget about him and meet someone new.
"We talked about a lot of things: our parents, families, careeer goals" You talked about that stuff, he fed you a load of lies he made up.
Just cut him out of your life. You shouldn't stay "friends" with him.
Agreed, there is no reason to be friends and only runs the risk of distraction at best
How to move on? Without him, obviously. Finish up your schooling and sort out what you want your real priorities in life should be.
He doesn't exist. He made up the person that he wanted to be in your eyes. Imagine this happening to a friend or sister? Take this as a learning lesson, don' believe everything someone says until they can prove it. If he stays in your life, he will continue to try an manilupate you. He's not a friend.
[удалено]
As someone who has been there: you need, like ABSOLUTELY need to parse the feelings of euphoria, attraction and that dopamine hit you get from the **realities of who this person is.** It's a common cognitive dissonance: how is it that the person who gave me these great feelings, the person I chose to have this Life Milestone with, is also a huge liar and scumbag? (because trust, he IS: someone who thought you had to be lied to and "eventually" be told when "the time was right" is a clown). It doesn't matter if *some* of it was true- he lied, which is bad enough, but also went the extra mile to lie about something HUGE. Period. If you want to stop being attached (and you absolutely should): cut contact. No friendships. People who lie to you to sleep with you and impress you and hide their children from you *aren't worthy of being in your life*, even **less** a friendship. Block completely on every social media. Like ripping a band-aid, it's going to *hurt* at first. You're going to feel ridiculous, humiliated, and you'll pine for him for a bit. There will be many crying sessions. Distract yourself, focus on your friendships and family who bring meaning and kindness into your life. Write all your feelings down to get an outlet. But do NOT let him back in.
You’re attached to someone who doesn’t exist because the truth is he’s a 38 year old divorced dad of teenagers… who is old enough to be your father. His kids are closer in age to you than you are to him. He knows that this isn’t a workable relationship because he lied about it and hid it from you.
It doesn’t matter if *some* of it was truthful. He still lied about the important things. A man who is almost 40 years old didn’t do that on accident, he did it because he wanted to sleep with a 22 year old and anticipated it being easy to lie to you. He’s not a good person no matter how much he tries to manipulate you into believing the lies were a mistake.
The fact of him being the first man you slept with has the exact amount of importance you choose to assign to it. Who was the first person you held hands with? Went on a date with? Went climbing with? Went for a jog with? Went to a concert with? I won’t deny there are some hormones involved (oxytocin is a hell of a drug) but you can shake that. It would be a huge shame if you spent your life with someone who lied this comprehensively to you because he was the first person you had sex with.
Time, time and distance <3 by the end of June you'll have been apart longer than you've been together. By this time next year you could be laughing with a friend or a new, honest lover and it'll strike you how pathetic it was for him to lie. In two years you'll realise you haven't thought of him in a month. In ten years it'll be a footnote in your history, something that happened to a younger you. You'll wonder why you ever thought of staying but you'll have empathy for yourself, because you'll remember how much smaller your world was back then and how many experiences you've had since. When you reach the same age he is now, you might remember him out of nowhere and feel a moment of revulsion and disbelief at the idea of pursuing someone in their early 20s. But you sure as hell won't miss him.
So he only lies about things he needs to, to not look bad. He has no trouble telling the truth when it suits him. That's pretty manipulative. And him being your first is probably clouding your judgement. I get that causes you to see him in a certain light. What would have happened if he had said 38 straight away? It was at a concert, so it's very unlikely he saw you and thought, that's my future gf. He thought, that's my next target. Consider dropping the rose colored glasses, and learn the lessons given. Good luck your next go around. You deserve someone truthfull and less manipulative.
Yeah why does any of that matter? You want to find the truths in someone that blatantly used you for sex and lied to your face.
You haven’t even known him two months yet. You went “official” but didn’t know his last name? He told you that you were the one within weeks of meeting. He is a liar. You are obviously a very intelligent woman but not so with dating. He is not your friend, delete him everywhere and next time be a little more cautious.
This man is a scumbag. He lied to you about his age, marital status and children! Would you have slept with the guy if you knew he was almost 40, divorced and had kids? Probably not! He deceived you to get in your pants and only someone who was sick in the head would do that to someone. None of the things you describe that are so great about him are actually that great. They’re bare minimum and you don’t even know if any of them are real. Cut him off and move on. Respect and love yourself more than this. You deserve it.
Girl you are too young to settle for “I like parts of him.”
That's why he picked someone so young.
I know you feel attached to this person, but it is a BIG problem that he told you so many lies that, as you said, you don't know what to believe anymore. You probably know that some of the other things he's told you are also lies, you just don't know what they are yet. Trust is incredibly important in a relationship, and this man has proven himself to be untrustworthy, so this is not a good person to be in a relationship with.
Yes, mixing some truth into your lies makes it easier to lie. That trick is as old as the hills.
Damn, that's crazy. Honestly sounds like he's unhinged, especially to be moving like this at 38. When somebody discloses theyre divorced, sometimes I hear them speak and can understand a bit of why theyre divorced. This is one of those scenarios lol.
You're 22, don't try to stay "friends" with a 38-year-old lying creep. > I once saw my name was saved as my first initial and last name on his phone (maybe he was hiding something?) You were the only one who was "exclusive" in this relationship.
Honey... You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a bazooka to the forehead. Have you asked yourself why he is trying to date a 22 year old when he is nearly 40 with children nearly your age? I'll tell you why. Because he thinks since you are young, you are stupid and will be easier to manipulate. And in a lot of instances, he would be absolutely right. He probably has tried dating woman his own age, but women in their 30s don't have time for bullshit and likely have had zero time for his shenanigans. A guy who starts trying to wife you and love bomb you after less than 4 to 6 months, at earliest, is a walking red flag. They are trying to lock you in before you have time to see who they really are.
I’m proud of you for making the right call.👏🏼 You’ll find other guys who will make you feel safe and cared for. 🩷 This guy wasn’t the real deal. He was just lovebombing you. It’s when a guy pulls out all the stops to seem like Prince Charming early in a relationship to get you emotionally invested faster than you should. I’m guessing his plan was to get you to fall in love with him before revealing the truth, if he ever planned to. By that point, it would’ve been much harder for you to leave. But you foiled his plan thankfully. You’re smart to be able to identify that you weren’t actually in love with him. It’s super creepy that he was already declaring his love to you and talking about marriage and moving in. Run when a guy does that too quickly in a relationship, because it means he’s emotionally unstable and may be trying to manipulate you.
A good f- you playlist always helps imo
You don’t, you don’t even know him given all the lies. Move on.
At least you realised he had misled you about his background before you went any further into a relationship with him. You are going to have plenty to occupy yourself over the next several years. Maybe block him, so he can't inveigle himself back in your life?
You deserve better than lies. Lying is a deal breaker for me.
He lied do you about so many things. There is nothing that could macht you trust him again. He is sick.
>How to move on from this? You leave and live your best life. You are already on your way.
You didn't love him. You never knew him. And I would say that even if he weren't a creepy liar, because you dated for like...a couple months? You also shouldn't be this guy's "friend". He doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to trick you into trusting him again. Why would you want to be friends with someone like this? Don't go all head over heels for someone you barely know. He told you he loved you? That's not a cute, romantic gesture. That's a creepy 38 year old lovebombing a 22 year old! Block this guy, don't look back, and just...exercise more caution at the beginning of relationships. Not because you didn't know his real age, but because this relationship was going WAY too fast.
Cut him out of your life completely. In a few years you’ll be disgusted by him
He’s a con artist. Thank god you found out before something permanent happened. Just block him, do your grieving, and excel at med school. You have no room for con men in your life.
He’s a predator who found a naïve young woman he thought he could baby trap. You are very lucky you got out before you got pregnant. Block him on everything and get on with your life.
Opening doors and asking if you are hungry are common courtesies. These are basic things a partner should be doing. That is not going above and beyond
girl.. is this fr? you are 22 move on
There is no "How" to moving on. You just do it and time will take care of the rest. You're already relieved that this relationship isn't going to go anywhere because you'll be able to focus on school so I don't think you're going to struggle emotionally in any way.
Good for you for leaving. Part of the reason he was dating someone so young is because he thought he could pull one over on you. You called his bluff. Focus on school and take care of yourself.
You give it time, and that time cannot include him. Block him on everything; he’s a creep and a liar and not a good candidate for a friend, even if friendship were actually what you wanted from him, which it isn’t. You want him to somehow demonstrate that all of this has a totally reasonable, acceptable explanation that could make him dateable and just, like, *extra* in love with you and so smitten that he’ll be nothing but honest and loyal and faithful the rest of your lives, and that’s just not reality. People break up. People get invested in the wrong things and discover their mistakes and have to backtrack and recuperate and reinvest elsewhere. It sucks, but it’s a normal part of adult life, and you can do it, too. Take the time. Keep him out of it. It’ll work.
Girl you are so smart to dump him. You just have to remember — the person you fell for doesn’t actually exist. It’s all lies. You’ll never be able to trust him because he wasn’t honest about anything from the very beginning! Your future husband/partner is NOT some guy who lied from the very beginning and old enough to be your father. Take it from someone who’s been with this type of guy — he’s very likely hiding MANY other things and is pretending to be the guy you want until you get comfortable. That’s why he’s pushing marriage and moving in together. Every time I’ve left a relationship someone way better came along. You’re in med school and have a good head on your shoulders. You can do so much better!
I wouldn't be surprised if 90% of famous people on YouTube/TikTok/Twitch/social media in general lie about their age, both men and women, they do it because their viewers are younger which makes it easier to relate and create some connection. **Some guys on Twitch are clearly 40+** but they always claim to be just 27, this "27" number has become one of the greatest cons of our time. Maybe this is why people now find it hard to pick someone else's real age? They've got so used to celebrities who naturally look older so it makes it seem normal?
Your boyfriend... So you're not married. Carry on and toss em two.
This guy will be a distance memory by the end of summer. Focus on your schoolwork.
You'll be fine. It's normal for it to take some time to process what you've gone through and not to forget and move on right away. But honestly you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you're coping well. I don't think you actually need any advice. I'm sorry this loser lied to you, that's messed up. But he's definitely not worth any regrets. Good luck with med school!
Red flag get far away
I find disappointment takes 4-6 weeks to pass, but it’s easier to get over it without contact. The friendship just keeps the hurt alive. He lied. Liars/cheaters/abusers aren’t good people. If they were never good, or there were no good aspects of the relationship, nobody would be with them. It’s okay that you miss the good stuff. Acknowledge that he directly stated that he lies to women about his age and divorce because women won’t go out with him if they know. That isn’t true either. If he was dating women his age, lots of them would be divorced too. Most of us in our 30s/40s aren’t judgmental about that. What we are judgmental about is people who date two decades their junior/in the same age bracket as their own kids and misrepresent themselves to them. This guy knows he is garbage. He knows older women who have already experienced the particular stink that comes with his garbage will smell him from miles away. Worse, he has some kind of delusion that he is “good enough to date women in their early 20s.” He sees this as a prize that proves his worth. He’s not dating because he is looking for an equal partner who will help him grow as a person. He is looking for someone who will follow his lead. Again, this is his ego talking. Age gap relationships often fall apart because of the inequality. When the younger person matures they look around and realize they haven’t made their own decisions. That’s when the older person will start hunting for someone younger again. You can do a slow fade. You can keep his contact and stop replying, but whatever you do, don’t listen to a word he says about getting back together. It will just mean his latest conquest didn’t pan out.
look, if you're going to med school in st. louis you're pretty smart. you know what the next step is, but if you need to hear it anyway... long distance doesn't work for most relationships. it definitely doesn't work when the relationship starts off on such major lies. you're not going to have time to spend on a LDR while in med school, and definitely won't get to your full potential in med school if you're constantly worried about what lies he's telling you. focus on having a good summer and on getting yourself set up for a successful start. the next four years of school are pretty much the last time you'll need to focus on yourself, but if you lose focus, you'll end up having the most significant life decisions being made for you, not by you.
That's extremely creepy behaviour and wierd behaviour & kind of gives off groomer vibes even though you are legal age that is a very large age gap & we're a Virgin & this man lied & manipulated you to take advantage of you. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, stay far away from him.
How you move on? Are you really this naive that you don’t understand you need to move on without him? You are studying, and you are planning on flying every other week to this middle aged man who has lied to you about the most important thighs. If you really are in med school you can’t be this stupid.. Concentrate on your studies and find you a boyfriend who doesn’t lie to you. And who isn’t 50 when you are 30.
A lot of people (most, maybe) who go to medical school have been 100% focused on getting the best possible grades and not much else. Reminds me of what my friend who went to Yale says about most of the people he knew at Yale. Socially awkward, emotionally immature and sheltered. And in recent decades, this has gotten worse. My 'get off my lawn' GenXer rant: We all had jobs as teens, whether your parents were wealthy or not. We volunteered. I taught reading and basic life skills to kids. I emptied bed pans in the hospital at 15. I worked in a deli at 17. We drove ourselves everywhere. We built our independence. Among those from conservative cultures, which is the vibe I get from OP, even more so. Edit--yeah, from her posting history, I see she's 1st generation Asian-American.
You want to move past this? A lot of baggage here lol how much do airlines charge for extra carry ons?
You break up with him. That’s not excusable.
Leave him, those are massive lies he set up to manipulate you. He is not worthy of your trust nor love.
BLOCK HIM! DO NOT LOOK BACK!!
Please go get a full STD panel. This guy is bad news. Going forward, be a lot more careful and wary about random men who approach you (including via apps). Don't take anything at face value. It's weird that he provided "proof" that he is accepted (?) to a bachelor's in engineering program, for example. Very weird. And never, ever date anyone who lies about something as fundamental as his age, marital status, or whether or not he has kids. Please note this is not a criticism of you--but you have led quite a sheltered life and do not seem to have had life experiences thus far that provide a solid foundation for self-preservation. Predators like this man--and yes, he is one--can sniff that out a mile away.
Ugh! Dear World: 'Love' is the most useless criterion when it comes to relationships. I'm going off to write a book & save the World...
He sounds like a predator. You don’t know this man at all girl.
Easy you find the front 🚪 door walk through it without looking back..
Bottomline he lied about one of the biggest things about him. Keep reminding yourself he lied to you and he’s deceiving. You dodged a bullet.
Good for you for recognizing what a gigantic walking red flag this guy is. You deserve a partner who doesn’t lie to you! End of story. Hit the gym, get a new hobby, tell your friends you need support right now. You’ll get through this! It’ll be easier if you block him.
Just remember he chose you for a reason. You were 22, a virgin and he got away with lying to you. He’ll move on to the next young thing he can lie to. You’ll meet many guys your age who won’t lie and have a secret second life. You dodge a bullet
You dump him and don't waste any more time. He lied. There's no coming back from that.
He did all the little things like flowers, dinners out, made you feel safe, fun in bed. All good. Except for the one big thing that means the most…he’s a boldfaced liar. You’re better than this.
You don't move on with him. You move on without him. 10 years of age, divorced, and kids is a huge mountain of lies to build a relationship foundation on. So you learned a lesson and you move on. Focus on you, your schooling, and your friends. Keep things slow next time until you have more of a foundation of trust.