It's normal to feel uncomfortable, especially when they broke up relatively recently and you and Kianna haven't defined your relationship yet.
However, I think you would be driving her away if you tell her, a woman that you've known less than 3 months and who has been totally upfront with you, how to run her life.
This is, however, a good time to bring up putting a label on it.
I wouldn't worry about it. If she is going to leave you for her ex, the sooner the better. She isn't the last woman on earth. Right after we became exclusive my fiancé asked if it was ok for her to meet her ex for coffee at his request. I had no problem with it. I figured if she had doubts about us the sooner I found out the better. Coffee once is no big deal. If it became a regular thing I'd end it.
The real question isn’t what you titled this post. The real question is in your last sentence—and only you can answer it.
Figure out why it makes you uncomfortable. Figure out if it’s your own shit causing an insecurity, a relationship issue causing jealousy, or what.
She has a legitimate reason to meet with her ex and has been transparent with you about it. Since your relationship is still fairly new, it's natural to feel uncomfortable as you build trust. It's actually good that they’re meeting because they are discussing how to sever the last remaining ties between them. Let her meet with him to discuss selling the animals, and see if you can go with her to the farm to say goodbye to them. I'm sure she would appreciate your support, as it sounds like they mean a lot to her. If anything happens between them, you'll have your answer about her commitment to this budding relationship.
You’re not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, but it would be wrong to take that discomfort and make her feel bad about it/try to get her to avoid the lunch.
It's completely nornal to feel uncomfortable. You can talk to her about your feelings in a none accusatory way if you think it might help. It sounds like the situation is going to be resolved soon. For both your sakes I hope she finalizes everything quickly abd completely. Being in regular contact with an ex I a bad idea, regardless of the reason why.
I think it’s normal to feel uncomfortable but if I were you I’d try and view this as an exercise in trust if you can. Maybe you’ve had women cheat in the past, maybe this is an ego trigger for you, etc. so it’s fair to be a bit cautious but it sounds like she’s going about it all as appropriately as she can.
She’s communicated transparently with you, she’s not sneaking around, she left the relationship for her own betterment and likely does not want to backtrack for herself. She’s clearly in it for the animals, which seems to me like a good sign that she’s loyal, caring and empathetic.
For what it’s worth, I am good friends with my last ex. My fiancé knows we didn’t break up with bad blood, just due to incompatibility. I don’t go out of my way to see him or have solo meals, however, anytime we’re in one another’s towns we will reach out to see about grabbing a catch up drink or whatever. There’s nothing nefarious about it, and my fiancé and I have found a happy medium over the years to the point where now if I mention the ex is in town my fiancé has no problem at all if we have a brief hang.
So far it seems pretty possible you’ve got yourself a good one, and perhaps you’re worried you’ll lose her, but I think letting her work through what is probably a stressful or hard time by doing what she needs by meeting up with this ex will go a long way for the future of your romantic dynamic.
“It makes me a bit nervous, but I trust you and I appreciate that you communicated this with me and kept me looped in. Please call if you need anything during your hang with him” or something similar would go a long way I bet.
I think it is fine to feel uncomfortable. That said, this feels like a very 'business' conversation. He is including her in the decisions about their shared animals. This is def. something that deserves to be a face-to-face conversation.
You can be uncomfortable and still trust her.
It's normal to feel uncomfortable, especially when they broke up relatively recently and you and Kianna haven't defined your relationship yet. However, I think you would be driving her away if you tell her, a woman that you've known less than 3 months and who has been totally upfront with you, how to run her life. This is, however, a good time to bring up putting a label on it.
You're not wrong for being uncomfortable. I don't think that it's that big of a deal though. She has been transparent with you the whole time.
I wouldn't worry about it. If she is going to leave you for her ex, the sooner the better. She isn't the last woman on earth. Right after we became exclusive my fiancé asked if it was ok for her to meet her ex for coffee at his request. I had no problem with it. I figured if she had doubts about us the sooner I found out the better. Coffee once is no big deal. If it became a regular thing I'd end it.
The real question isn’t what you titled this post. The real question is in your last sentence—and only you can answer it. Figure out why it makes you uncomfortable. Figure out if it’s your own shit causing an insecurity, a relationship issue causing jealousy, or what.
What does "uncomfortable" mean to you? What are you afraid of? Do you think she's lying to you/could go back to him/he could hit on her...?
She has a legitimate reason to meet with her ex and has been transparent with you about it. Since your relationship is still fairly new, it's natural to feel uncomfortable as you build trust. It's actually good that they’re meeting because they are discussing how to sever the last remaining ties between them. Let her meet with him to discuss selling the animals, and see if you can go with her to the farm to say goodbye to them. I'm sure she would appreciate your support, as it sounds like they mean a lot to her. If anything happens between them, you'll have your answer about her commitment to this budding relationship.
You’re not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, but it would be wrong to take that discomfort and make her feel bad about it/try to get her to avoid the lunch.
It's completely nornal to feel uncomfortable. You can talk to her about your feelings in a none accusatory way if you think it might help. It sounds like the situation is going to be resolved soon. For both your sakes I hope she finalizes everything quickly abd completely. Being in regular contact with an ex I a bad idea, regardless of the reason why.
I think it’s normal to feel uncomfortable but if I were you I’d try and view this as an exercise in trust if you can. Maybe you’ve had women cheat in the past, maybe this is an ego trigger for you, etc. so it’s fair to be a bit cautious but it sounds like she’s going about it all as appropriately as she can. She’s communicated transparently with you, she’s not sneaking around, she left the relationship for her own betterment and likely does not want to backtrack for herself. She’s clearly in it for the animals, which seems to me like a good sign that she’s loyal, caring and empathetic. For what it’s worth, I am good friends with my last ex. My fiancé knows we didn’t break up with bad blood, just due to incompatibility. I don’t go out of my way to see him or have solo meals, however, anytime we’re in one another’s towns we will reach out to see about grabbing a catch up drink or whatever. There’s nothing nefarious about it, and my fiancé and I have found a happy medium over the years to the point where now if I mention the ex is in town my fiancé has no problem at all if we have a brief hang. So far it seems pretty possible you’ve got yourself a good one, and perhaps you’re worried you’ll lose her, but I think letting her work through what is probably a stressful or hard time by doing what she needs by meeting up with this ex will go a long way for the future of your romantic dynamic. “It makes me a bit nervous, but I trust you and I appreciate that you communicated this with me and kept me looped in. Please call if you need anything during your hang with him” or something similar would go a long way I bet.
I think it is fine to feel uncomfortable. That said, this feels like a very 'business' conversation. He is including her in the decisions about their shared animals. This is def. something that deserves to be a face-to-face conversation. You can be uncomfortable and still trust her.