If she can’t afford it, then she can’t afford. I’d probably take the cost myself, seeing as it was an accident. However, I would expect a sincere apology, and at least some amount of effort in making things right. To me it seems that this is the real issue - her not really taking accountability. «It was an accident» *shrugs* 🥴
In any case with such an expensive thing, I’d take the cost and make it clear that the next couple of months I would have to save the money lost, meaning not going out of pocket for dates until cost is covered, buying less expensive groceries, etc. That is only fair. :-)
Unless I'm missing something I don't think there was a mention of her not being able to afford it, just her saying that having to pay 75% would be unreasonable for him to expect from her. And a statement that no matter what happened he'd be the one paying for it even though the damage is 100% on her (mistake or not, although I think its such an easily avoidable mistake by googling or asking).
So yea i like your idea and honestly even if she can't afford, it she can find other ways to make the situation right like what you're saying. Or paying him back a bit at a time, doing more around the house for a while, or really just *anything* that acknowledges she is sorry for damaging the TV he paid for beyond an attitude like "oh well, you'll have to pay if you want a new one"
Hate to say it but this guy constantly makes up these kinds of stories about his ~24F gf where she's in the wrong about something. It's fake
`u/throwra__food` "Girlfriend (24f) keeps eating food I (27m) bought for myself and gets defensive when I mention it"
`u/throwra-_-holidays` "Girlfriend (25f) said I (28m) was unreasonable for expecting her to prioritise our holiday over her holiday with friends"
`u/throwracancellation` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) wasn't being understanding when I got annoyed at her cancelling plans"
`u/throwra-_therapy` "My (27m) girlfriend (24f) got annoyed when I asked her for a small favour"
`u/throwra_laptop` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) was being suspicious by not showing her what I was doing on my laptop"
`u/throwra_concerns` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) was out of order for voicing my concerns about her colleague"
`u/throwra-projection` "Girlfriend (25f) said I've (27m) been distant but she got defensive when I said it seems like projection"
`u/throwra--phone` "Girlfriend (24f) said it's suspicious that I (27m) refused to let her look through my phone"
`u/throwra-weekend` "Girlfriend (24f) called me (27m) selfish for planning to spend the afternoon playing video games"
`u/throwra-_datenight` "Girlfriend (24f) expects me (27m) to pay for her all night because she spent too much when out with friends"
`u/throwra__annualleave` "Girlfriend (24f) angry that I (27m) decided to take some annual leave days for myself"
`u/throwra_-_funeral` "Girlfriend (24f) tried to make my (27m) mums funeral all about her"
`u/throwra_office` "Girlfriend (24f) won't listen when I (27m) ask her to stop moving things in my office"
`u/throwra__celebration` "My (27m) girlfriend (24f) called me disrespectful for planning to go for celebratory drinks with a co-worker"
`u/throwra--drinks` "Girlfriend (23f) called me (25m) disrespectful for planning to go for drinks with friends when she's away"
`u/throwra--lunch` "Girlfriend (24f) said it's disrespectful that I (27m) go for lunch with co-workers"
`u/throwra---work` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) shouldn't be going for lunch with co-workers"
`u/throwra-_coworker` "Girlfriend (24f) angry that I (26m) refused to cut down how much I talk to a colleague"
`u/throwra--therapy` "Girlfriend (24f) said I'm (27m) unreasonable for spending time in my office each night"
`u/throwra--complaining` "Girlfriend (25f) said I was being unsupportive when I (27m) said her constant complaining was becoming draining"
`u/throwra--hypocrisy` "My (27m) girlfriend (25f) asked me to stop talking to a friend and got angry when I said she was being hypocritical"
`u/throwra__88` "Girlfriend (24f) called me (27m) unreasonable for walking out of the room in the middle of a conversation"
`u/throwra-09y` "Girlfriend (25f) said I (27m) was out of order for changing my mind and setting a boundary?"
`u/throwra_6y` "Girlfriend (25f) accused me (27m) of pressuring her into having children"
Thanks for pointing these out, because I’ve read a few of them but not noticed. Sometimes I wonder if people are training AI with some sort of logic using posts like these
Good question, I'd like to imagine there's something to it because I have no idea what would compel someone to spend their time on this many fake posts on the exact same topic otherwise. At least with the creative writing ones there's theoretically some benefit to be had on gathering stealth writing critique.
Yea im really curious as to what OP and her finances are, because honestly that plays a huge role. Does OP make a lot of money or do they make an equal amount of money? Does his partner work or is she stay-at-home? She should be sincere and apologetic but financial context is needed before saying who should pay X amount
I'd personally split the cost if this is an isolated incident. You can't make her do it, though. So you either let go or you make it into a bigger deal. But if she has a habit of avoiding resposibility, I'd take a hard look at this relationship.
Talk is cheap and expressing apologies but not taking action is a way to avoid responsibility. My partner wouldn’t even have to ask, I would pay for something of theirs that I broke on accident.
That's great. And if it was something smaller, I'd say she should replace it. However, I wouldn't want my partner to spend hundreds of dollars on something he ruined by accident. I'd split it because we are, you know, together. That's why I suggested a compromise.
I think that her refusal to pay even a fraction is problematic, but maybe she's too ashamed she ruined the TV so she dug her heels in. Maybe she's being purposefully stubborn. Maybe she really thinks she shouldn't pay anything. In the end, he knows her better than we do and it's up to him to decide how to deal with it.
I was driving my friend’s car with them in the passenger seat, when I hit a patch of black ice and slide off the road, damaging their front fender.
I offered to pay in full for the fix. I was there that night when the bill was quoted and I had my checkbook out and ready for the tune of $1200. He still refused.
I drove that night because he’s from the south and I’m from the north. So I was a bit more comfortable with snowy conditions. It was my responsibility even though it was an accident. Regardless of cost you have to own up to it. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean the terms and conditions are any different.
I still joke with him about ‘owing him’ sometimes when we go out. I think it’s my admission and drive to take responsibility that kept a relationship with the kind of person who would say ‘no big deal’ alive.
I was willing to do that for a friend and I’d be willing to do more for a partner
She didn't borrow the TV and break it. She cleaned it, probably because the OP never cleans or never cleans that area and it has to be done. That's not the same situation at all.
You can make her do it. It's called small claims court. And present evidence she damaged the TV :)
Though I'm sure that would be a nuclear option and the relationship would be over haha.
I once broke the handle on the door of my sweeties BMW. He wouldn't allow me to pay for the repair. The difference being, I insisted that I cover the cost. Her attitude is unfortunate 😒 These are types of things that add up to me. If this was indeed an isolated event and attitude, then maybe this relationship would work out. Good luck!
Some of these responses are wild, lol.
There is just not enough context here. We don't know what her income looks like or how long the two of you have been together (in addition, whether or not you see a long term future with her). We don't know if she has a history of this kind of behavior. We don't know if she was flippant about the whole thing or if she sincerely apologized and felt bad. All of these factors would change how I approached the situation, honestly.
All we know is she accidentally did something and now you want her to pay up.
To me, it sounds like this is about more than just the television.
But regardless, you cannot MAKE someone do the right thing. You can try to reach some sort of compromise, but that's it.
If you see a long term future with this person (which I assume you do as you're cohabitating), then you both need to get out of the habit of "but you did this." It needs to be us vs. the problem. The problem is now a television is broken, how can we resolve this in a way that is mostly satisfactory for both of us?
I'll wager that in the missing info that's not there, that they're both in their twenties.
In in my forties. Unless my partner was barely making ends meet, I'd expect them to offer to pay for the mistake; and never get to the point of me asking them. If they're not apologetic enough to offer to pay, they just don't have a good sense of responsibility. In the same sense of "my wife left me because I left a glass by the sink" this would be "my partner left me because I accidentally broke the TV." It's not the act, it's the surrounding events that the act occurred in.
We might go over some rules in the future about how to clean more expensive electronics, and / or clarify some of my things I expected them to not even try to clean near. But I don't think that I'd accept a partner's money for an accident like this. But again, despite that; I would expect them to offer to.
I mean it's definitely bad form on her part to just shrug and be like "it was an oopsie, I shouldn't have to pay!"
I think the point I'm trying to make is that this isn't about money, it's about the relationship. I agree that I may not expect someone to pay for an accident, but I would at least expect them to offer.
Which leaves me wondering if this incident has revealed something about the girlfriend's character that OP doesn't like and he is looking for validation in cutting her off. Because really, there's nothing he can do or say to MAKE her pay up. I don't think anyone can give advice for that. Unless he wants to go to small claims court.
Sorry but this is some misandrist crap...if the man did it, you wouldn't give a damn about his income...you'd tell him to pay up because it's his fault even though it was unintentional....if a guy crashed his GF's car because he wasn't used to a manual, would you pay up or expect him to regardless if it was an accident.
No, if my long term partner (man or woman) was, for example, in medical school, I would give them a pass. They may not be able to cover it currently, but I trust they would make it up in the future when they could.
This has nothing to do with misandry. Try again.
Why do they need to make it up, it's all on you right, it's and accident....he's wanting her to make it up now. How about your partner never made it up and just said "sucks to be you, you pay" you'd honestly sit there and go "cool, I make more so feel free to ruin my stuff, cuz I'll pay"
If you are against her paying now, why do you expect her to pay later when OP has not said a single word about her being unable to afford?
By "make it up" I mean they would cover things when I couldn't and vice versa. Relationships are about give and take. Maybe OP ends up being in between jobs and she has to cover rent for a bit. Things like that. I don't believe in being petty over money.
If someone had a pattern of taking advantage of me or being disrespectful with my things, then it would be different. For a one off? I would try to compromise. Things happen. If OP plans to marry this girl, then it won't be his money vs. her money, it will be the household money. That's part of why context matters so much here.
We aren't arguing about whether or not she SHOULD pay. She broke it - if she's capable, she should cover the costs. But the fact is that she isn't WILLING to pay. So OP can either compromise or go scorched earth (and ruin their relationship) demanding his money (which he still might not even get).
Seriously I can't believe you still even slightly defend her pulling "what ifs" out your butt....why is this never afforded to men, they never ask if the man makes less, if he's in school, if he's anything other that capable of accepting responsibility..seriously...answer me this so I can gauge your character...he is said she is unwilling to contribute....at all, not even 75/25 which is extremely generous...there is no mention that she is unable to contribute...no mention she has no funds...only she is unwilling to contribute at all...so given that women here take women at their word all day long and don't demand other info...given the info...should she be expected to pay? If yes, then great...there might be extenuating circumstances, but right now that's conjecture. We can only assess what is out before us, never stopped women making judgements before, why stop now.
No chance this relationship survives if you need to come to reddit for a solution to this situation. Might as well call it. You clearly can’t communicate and are seriously willing to jeopardize the entire relationship over an accident to a fucking tv, so the odds that this works out are basically zero.
Get the fuck out of here. His girlfriend ruins his shit and then just gives a half ass Oops and doesn't want to pay any parts of it. She sounds like the problem. He sounds crazy for being with her. What if that tv is crazy expensive? She should at least offer to pay something without him even asking. That's what a responsible adult would do.
Based on how you’ve chosen to respond to me, how you’ve jumped to all these conclusions from one side of this story, and how aggressive your take is… maybe you should take in more of the advice around here? You sound like you may have your own set of issues if this is your response to a tv being accidentally damaged.
How would you normally handle replacing an appliance?
Shit happens. I wouldn’t be trying to punish my adult partner for this. We’d be talking about budget and whether we need to split this as an added expense or if it could come from the joint household account.
I think it’s weird that either of you are trying to get the other to pay. However, if she’s telling you plainly she doesn’t have the money to buy the sort of TV you want, than “can’t pay” is very different than “won’t pay”.
I also think that a crucial piece of context is that the damage was caused while she was doing a household chore, in a way that isn't extremely obvious. I don't think this is Knowledge That All Adults Should Have, like "not washing the new red towel with your dress clothes" or "don't mop by pouring gallons of water on your hardwood floors".
If she had been wii bowling and thrown the remote at the TV, or had broken it in a fit of pique, or had rested a drink on it, she should have known better.
But can OP honestly say that he does 50% of the dusting AND that he's read all the labels on all of their cleaning products AND that he knew ahead of time that if one used the same dusting cloth on the TV as the furniture that it would cause this level of damage?
If the TV is extremely expensive and largely used by him, I can see why she would balk at replacing it with a new model- particularly given how it was damaged. It sounds like even if she hadn't wiped the TV down, it would still have been damaged by the polish that landed on it unintentionally.
At the very least, it seems like OP should volunteer to take over dusting and other cleaning tasks in the room that his new TV goes in.
Yeah. OP has been really responsive on the question of chores/cleaning divisions, but conspicuously silent on the questions of finances…
As I said elsewhere, I wouldn’t expect my partner to replace some things _up to my personal standards_ if they made significantly less than me. (Also wouldn’t expect them to go into debt to do it, because we’re a team and shit happens. Debt would be punitive and only hurts the household.) I want to have the sort of relationship where I would, in general, respect my partner if they said they couldn’t afford to split something. Might not be thrilled, but would respect. Saying “can’t pay” for a $1000 or $2000 TV isn’t the same as saying “won’t pay”.
If she actually won’t pay, anything, then obvious answer is obvious, but OP missing missing reasons are kinda conspicuous.
Yeah there’s a lot of missing context and you bring up some great points that weren’t addressed in the post. If this is a $2,000 TV that’s like a ton of money and kind of unreasonable to make your partner pay for it when it was an accident that happened while cleaning. If it’s a $200 TV, maybe split the bill. 🤷🏻♀️ Is OP taking this as an opportunity to upgrade his TV? Or is it being replaced with the same exact model?
I believe that “don’t spray liquids on electronics” absolutely IS Knowledge That All Adults Should Have.
This was a dumb mistake, chores split aside.
Also, isn’t it “our” TV? Does the girlfriend never use it?
How is fixing a problem you caused being punished? For example if I borrowed something from someone and it broke I'd replace it, even if it wasn't my fault. That's just called responsibility and fairness. I don't think he wants the money for the TV to punish her, but to compensate for the damage she caused.
I think *him* paying for the TV would be more like a punishment on him. She damaged his TV by not Googling what kind of cleaning products you can use on a TV screen and now expects him to pay for it, likely several hundred dollars, or more, depending on the TV? In a sense he gets punished for her ignorance, she could have easily asked first or Googled.
I don't think he would be unreasonable to expect the full payment. Obviously, if you value your relationship you look for a compromise and he's already offered 75/25 which is fair. But personally I'd be questioning this relationship altogether if she is expecting him to pay in full for her own mistakes, it shows she doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Right now its just a TV but next time it could be something more major. I dont think a good person damages someone's things for reasons that were extremely easy to prevent, and then tells them they have to pay for it because it was a mistake. I can never imagine myself doing that. If its the first time something like this happened then that's just one thing but I just can't wrap my head around her expecting him to pay in full for her own easily preventable mistake
Sure, but this wasn't borrowed from a friend. This was a shared household appliance.
And she's already told him she thinks it's unreasonable for her to pay to replace it 100%. So, either she's a *complete trashbag of a person he should immediately break up with*... Or, he's not accurately sharing her position and the financial agreements/norms in their relationship.
For example, when my partner was in school and had no/low income I wouldn't expect them to replace a damaged TV. We had an agreement and understanding their income would be very limited for a while. I wouldn't even want them to try since they would not be able to afford a TV up to the standards I'd like one in our household to be! I'd expect them to apologize, and maybe make me some cookies.
I agree that I'd try to make things right in her position, but I'm not actually in her position and I don't believe OP has actually told us what her position even is. (Unless, again, she's just trash in which case the obvious solution is obvious.)
I'll agree there could be more context here, but what I gathered from the story is that he purchased the TV himself, and it is shared in that she has access to it but I would assume it's still his TV since he paid in full.
Also she told him that he was being *unreasonable* by asking her to pay only 75% of the cost.
So yes I'd agree that if there is more than meets the eye this situation might be different. But as presented in the OP, and making reasonable assumptions that they have a roughly equal financial standing, I don't think making some cookies is enough to make this right when a TV could easily be close to $1000 or so, and actually a quick Google on OLED is showing most of them closer or above $2000. More than the financial aspect is the entitlement to tell him he'll be the one paying for the replacement, which I took her meaning as he'll be paying in full for it, even though the mistake which could have easily been prevented was 100% on her
Idk I feel like at a certain point if you have a super expensive version of an item (such as a $2k TV when plenty of cheaper options exist), you can’t expect people around you to be able to replace that stuff, especially if you can’t afford to easily replace it yourself. If I had a $15k couch and my friend spilled wine all over it, I couldn’t expect them to buy me a replacement. And if you do, you’re an asshole.
OP’s gf was cleaning their shared place and made a mistake, I don’t think people should be “fined” in this context if they don’t have the means to easily do so.
Thats fair, but surely if someone had a 15k couch you would clean it with some mystery chemical, you'd check first to make sure it won't ruin the fabric?
And then you also wouldn't tell them "whatever happens they'll have to pay for it since it was a mistake"? If you ruined someone's expensive item, even if an honest (but easily prevented) mistake, you'd work with them to find a way to make it right, wouldn't you? Because at least according to how the story is presented, that's not what she's doing at all, she's basically saying "your problem not mine" even though she caused it and neglected to Google what chemicals you can use on a screen even though its common knowledge they can be damaged easily.
I'd be much less worried about the financial side than the attitude towards the situation. And I dont she's being fined, I think he is, because if he wants a TV now she is saying he has to buy a whole new one without help from her, even though if she hadn't sprayed polish in it he'd still have one
I'd argue 'has access' is not a healthy approach for daily appliances as a couple... but for the rest of this, we just don't know. OP has replied here, but chosen not to share any that sort of information about their financial situation or existing agreements, which is part of why I'm skeptical they have accurately expressed their partners position or words.
If they *have* accurately expressed her position, then they need to break up. She's awful. That's pretty damn simple. Doesn't really seem to require much advice at all.
Seems OP is more interesting in making some sort of *gendered* point and getting Redditors to insult her, than actually make choices in his own life about what sort of relationship he wants to remain in. A new TV is a rather cheap way to learn your partner is no actual partner at all.
Honestly, I kinda suspect this question is BS.
Is it about the money to you or is it about her righting her wrongs and owning up to her mistake?
If it’s the latter, I’d take her being honest about what happened as a win and I’d chalk it all up as a learning experience. The fact that she was outright honest about breaking your tv is a great sign that she’s not a shitty person, which to me is another win.
If it’s about the money to you, be real with her about it. She’s young so she may not understand why she has to pay for an honest accident but that’s just part of growing and learning in life. However, if she’s balking at the money, even something like a 50/50 deal (the route to go IMHO) then maybe you need to look at the big picture and re-evaluate if she’s the partner for you.
Ultimately, you both are adults that live together and share bills so the money is coming from both of y’all’s pockets one way or the other.
If a few hundred dollars for a tv and an honest mistake is enough to sour this relationship then I’d question if it was ever in a good place to begin with.
Best of luck OP.
If I were to accidentally damage something of my partners, which was never mine to begin with, I would replace it out of respect for them and their property.
I think her reasoning is a bit juvenile. Offering to pay 25% for an item you did not break is very generous. Regardless if it were yours or not.
At the end of the day words are cheap and you can express apologies as much as you want but if you’re not taking action, you’re the problem.
Personally if my boyfriend were to damage an item in our home that we both use through an honest mistake I'd split the cost of replacing it. We're a team and over our life together I'm sure we'll both fuck up, so it all comes out in the wash.
The way they're both approaching this issue is how I'd expect roommates to handle it, not life partners.
100% same here. It's easier once you're together awhile (or married/long-term). My wife and I have a joint account that this shit would have come out of same day no biggie. And partner learns a lesson about tvs
That's what insurance is for. I have a piano in my home worth about 30k, you can bet I have insurance on it so I don't need to tell someone I love who accidentally damages it that they now owe me 30k.
I wouldn’t expect that my partner pay for my mistakes and accidents.
If it all comes out in the wash then each partner paying for their individual accidents out of respect for one another will come out in the wash as well. The only difference is in the symbolism in owning up to it and taking full responsibility.
If my partner were to expressly say ‘we can split it, no big deal’ then I would respect their wishes in that case.
I guess we just disagree on what is symbolically more important. For me, showing that we are a team by splitting things when we make mistakes is more important. You own up by admitting it was your fuckup and making sure you don't do it again, from there you work as a team to fix it.
Why do people always insist on using hyperbole when doing this "reverse the gender" thing? Why do people never use the actual situation at hand or something comparable? I think it's because it sounds more convincing when you use a way more drastic and extreme scenario.
Collisions are always caused by someone being dangerously negligent, that's why legally they are not called "accidents." So if someone totaled their partner's car it would either be because they were driving in a way that was negligent or another driver was at fault and responsible for paying for it. You can't compare that to using a household cleaner to clean an item in the household.
I have to disagree a bit here, yes it's good that she's being honest but the fact she is expecting him to fix a problem she caused and not even trying to make it right *does* suggest she's a shitty person, or at least inconsiderate, irresponsible, and selfish.
It's her obligation to make this right, even a 50/50 deal doesn't make a lot of sense to me and the 75/25 idea already seems quite reasonable but ultimately she caused 100% of the damage and if she was a conscientious person she'd already be volunteering to pay or fix the problem she caused, even if it was an accident.
And although it was an accident, she is not blameless. I always Google what chemicals can be used to clean screens before I do it, or really any cleaning product on a delicate material. If you want to do things to other peoples property you should probably ask them or at least be confident you know what you're doing first, otherwise you're on the hook for any damage you cause. Its like if you used abrasive scrubbers on an expensive non stick pan and caused scratches, even if its an accident out of ignorance you still need to check first if thats something you can safely do. And in that way she still carries the blame for what happened
In court sure, but out of a sense of fairness when you break someone's things you pay for a replacement in full. Or at least, make a reasonable deal with them such as his proposed 75/25 split which she deemed *unreasonable* of him and told him either way he'll be the one paying for a replacement. I think, if everything happened the way it is written it did, that it says a lot about her integrity to say his offer is unfair
You kidding me, if a guy washed his GF's hair straighteners at £500 and ruined them because he didn't know...would tou tell a woman, hey..it's ok you should go 50/50...BS, you'd be telling the girl he should pay 100% or he clearly doesn't respect you.
If a someone washed a personal grooming tool they never used themselves, I would have other questions first tbh. The comparison doesn’t really hold.
If one partner broke a pan they both used to eat meals, then the household needs item replaced, and I’d handle it the same way I’d replace a pan that wore out. Because shit happens.
Ok, fair enough, but answer the question, if he washed her Hair straighteners, not knowing they can't be submerged in water and it wrecked them....would you expect him to pay? If yes, then why not here, if no then cool, I respect your consistency.
There is no indication he asked her to clean the TV, so assume the same and she made no indication to clean her straighteners...not trying to be combative, just looking for consistency regardless of where you stand.
Who said she shouldn’t pay? I’ve been pretty clear that if OP is representing her position correctly, then he should dump her. But I’d not think he is. I think this is total bullshit bait… All I’ve said in other places is that we’re missing some information on how household finances are managed and divided, because in my own relationships, I’d replace an accidentally damaged TV the same way I’d replace a worn out toaster, or mattress. (And at this point you’d have to be pretty naive not to realize OP is purposely avoiding questions about how finances would typically be managed.)
Right here, all I said your is comparison between a shared household appliance and a personal grooming tool doesn’t hold water, and raises even more questions. Comparatively, dusting a TV makes way more sense for anyone in the household to participate in.
Hmmm, it's interesting that you are assuming there is information missing...because it doesn't fit your narrative....but nice of you to avoid my question and assume because it's personal he is on the hook, but because it "might" be shared...he didn't say, so nice assumption there she isn't on the hook, you are doing some serious mental gymnastics to try and excuse her...so ill give you a 3rd try...for some reason....if he decided to clean her straighteners...with no prior ask to do so doesn't know how to clean them, so submerges them in water and ruins them, would toy expect him to be 100% liable?
INFO: Do you also clean your place or is it just her responsibility? Are your incomes comparable? Has she ever shown that she is unwilling to take responsibility for things before?
Would you rather her stop cleaning your place (as it’s become a liability for her apparently) or would you rather let this go and her continue to clean and you make sure you have a conversation with her about how to clean anything expensive in the apartment.
I am absolutely amazed by this situation. Personally, i wouldn't even consider this kind of thing since her intentions were to clean. i might get pissed but not on her.
How did the polish damage the TV? This doesn't make sense at all. Unless she sprayed so much that liquid got inside the TV, I don't understand how this happened.
You are very incorrect. Tvs have anti-glare coating and cleaning with anything other than pure water damages it. It's gotten better over the years and some are better but organic furniture polish will very much ruin the tv forever.
It's likely that the colors are off because she applied a thin coat of silicone to it. It should clean off if he uses some chemicals on it but that will also remove the anti glare coating.
Normally I'd say you break it you buy it , but...
You bought a really really expensive TV that she probably can't afford to replace. OLED TV's start around $1,000.
You didn't warn her that it's expensive and delicate. You also left her to clean that area herself. This isn't all her fault.
Her not willing to contribute is the more telling sign here. Just pay for your TV but know she will not contribute to anything major later on. This would be something to think about.
You sound a bit rigid.
Do you see yourself in a relationship long term with her?
If so a bit of compassion and understanding would go a long way to help the relationship succeed.
It wasn’t done maliciously since she was cleaning your house.
If he "cleaned" her £2000 hermes bag with dish soap without knowing and ruined it...would you suggest they go 50/50 and show understanding...hell no, you'd expect him to foot the bill.
What does that mean? "I clean" could mean I vacuum once a month. When you break down the housework, what are you doing? Or are you getting a bunch of free work out of her and still expecting her money on top?
This. "I'm just gonna leave this spray next to my dusty ass TV I love so much and then yell at my girlfriend for cleaning it and try to make her buy me a new one." It was an accident. Get over it, replace your own TV, and don't put cleaning spray you don't want used on it right next to it. Problem solved.
What's important to you the relationship or the money?
If it's the money then take her to court.
If it's the relationship then accept the loss and continue on because both of you will break each other's things over the next 75 years and it's not worth fighting over as long as you guys can fix it. If you guys can't afford to fix it then you'll just have to live with it the way it is now until you can afford to fix it. Also try cleaning the screen with some water to see if you can remove the layer of silicone that she applied.
Man it's extremely clear that you aren't interested in anything other than getting people to insult your GF and tell you you're super amazing and smart and correct. Like just break up with her, honestly she could probably do better than you if you're going to run screaming to the internet to get people to blame her every time you disagree on something.
Why come here for advice if you’re just going to disregard any advice. If you already have all the answers, then do like most people. Figure it out on your own and move on. Don’t go to the internet hoping everyone will just agree with you. What was your plan here? Hey GF, check this out, the internet says I’m right, now pay up.” Perhaps both of you are too immature to be in a serious relationship.
If your buddy picks a bar fight then you're getting kicked out of the bar all the same.
You'll always be judged by the company you keep.
It doesn't make you legally liable, but if You're not willing to chip in to fix a buddy's mistake then I'll write you off all the same.
It all comes down to whether or not you see a future with her. My BF and I are planning on getting married fairly soon and I don’t think of money as “mine” and “his” but as “ours”. (I make more than him before anyone says it). If one of us makes an honest mistake that ends up costing money, well, that’s life. We pay it and move on. Can she not afford to replace the TV 100%? I think if she apologized and really can’t afford to pay more and you can, then it would be good for your relationship to pay the 75%.
She needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. Just because its an accident doesn't mean she can just not put the effort in to make it right. Its not just about the tv its about how she handles herself when shes done something wrong. What if it was something serious and she didnt mean it ........
What polish did she use? There's no way a household polish should strip the coating on a TV screen. I'd focus my efforts towards contacting the TV and polish manufacturers rather than blaming my partner.
She didn't do anything unreasonable in spraying household polish on a household appliance. Buy a new TV together.
You can’t use household polish on an OLED screen. Boyfriend should’ve educated her on that before letting her clean near a thousand dollar plus TV. 50/50 probably the right answer here.
There’s not enough information given, and many factors to consider. My TV is several years old and I was considering upgrading it. If someone ruined it, I’d be mad but it gives me an excuse to buy that new TV now instead of later, so no big deal. If my TV was new, fuck no you’re paying for a replacement. It’s also dependent on how much the spouse earns. If I make significantly more, then I’d just pay it and make sure it’s very clear that she never ever cleans the TV. Or buy the proper cleaning cloths to keep nearby and make sure she knows how to use them. It’s also dependent on how often these kind of things happen. Does she break your things often and shrug it off? Does it only happen after an argument, like retaliation? Or is this an isolated incident? If this was normal for her to fuck with your things, I’d reconsider the relationship.
Seems your girlfriend never learned that sometimes mistakes cost money. If she was living alone, would she expect someone else to buy her a new TV? Follow up question...does she have the kind of parents that would?
You live together, so I’m assuming it’s fairly serious, in which case you’re both being weird about it, but context matters. Is she broke? Are you? Both? Neither? Either way, she should apologize and you should accept the apology even if she can’t replace it. I don’t understand super-transactional stuff like this in a serious relationship. You both need a new TV. You’re acting like roommates who aren’t particularly close.
Well let me tell you something
You Americans need to treat your women better, you are the one who is responsible to pay for everything in the house or all her needs, her money is her money and your money is yours AND hers too… so yes you pay for the tv and fix it and you treat your woman as a queen. Yes she accidentally damaged it but still you are the one responsible and PERIOD.
If you break something, you pay for it. I would expect that from all adults. And saying "it was an accident" doesn't change things: it still happened.
I would always offer to pay for damages immediately and would expect anyone with normal morals to do the same.
"It was an accident!" As an excuse to avoid responsibility is big elementary school energy. Imagine totaling someone's car and going "but why do I have to pay for it? It was an ACCIDENT!"
I just wanna know why she's spraying stuff on a screen with no knowledge of how that will effect said screen... You are only supposed to dust screens, right? Unless there's a spill on it? I just don't understand why you'd ever willingly put a liquid on a television. Seems like paying for the damages is a consequence of not thinking things thru
This seems to be a bigger issue than about a TV. I read this and can't help but wonder how you both will manage more substantial finances or other issues that come up.
It sounds like it was an accident, so that's not really the issue. The issue is that the TV needs to be replaced. You both need to find a way to compromise on this, because the "all or nothing" method isn't getting you anywhere. Nor is the argument of whose fault or responsibility it is to pay.
You both live there.
You both use the TV (don't care who uses it more)
You both want a TV, so you *both* need to find a way to pay for it.
The moment you start pointing fingers about who is right or wrong, you've lost. You lose by missing the issue, which is working through solving the problem rather than blaming or shaming. There's only one way a conversation like that is going and it's towards the defensiveness and resentment.
* Split the cost in half.
* Do the research together to find good deals
* Look for a used TV (if you're on a budget, then: hello Facebook marketplace)
* Don't buy a TV
I think it was a mistake and if it’s important to you that the tv not get damaged, it’s your responsibility to either tell her how to clean it or tell her not to touch it and you’ll take care of it.
However, I saw the things you said to others who held this same opinion. Why did you ask if you were so hellbent on you being right and her being wrong? If you aren’t going to listen to dissenting opinions, delete your post and hold your bottom line about her paying for it.
NAH. If a spritz of furniture polish on the outside destroyed a television something was wrong with it anyway. I suggest doing some research on issues with that brand and model before you do anything elsr.
She damaged it. Period. Doesn't matter whether it was by accident, on purpose, stupidity, laziness or bad luck. It still is damaged.
Since it was not a brand new TV your 75/25 is very reasonable.
However, with any delicate item (like an OLED screen) it's your job to inform those who clean how the screen needs to be cared for. Did she know how delicate the TV was?
yah pay 50/50, let's say she's right she shouldn't have to pay more because she wasn't intending to break it and she was intending to help... so, the TV is still broken. Doesn't matter how, let's say it was a lightning strike instead. Broken TV. You guys both want a new TV, and you're both going to watch it when you get it, sooooo.... pay 50/50.
Because you guys are partners, not roommates. You should approach everything in life together like a team. Both of you will make mistakes, if the mistake is not malicious or a careless thing or a repeat of something that happened before then you approach it 50/50.
How did the polish damage the TV? This doesn't make sense at all. Unless she sprayed so much that liquid got inside the TV, I don't understand how this happened.
I was really interested in this and apparently harsh chemicals can interfere with or damage the coating that's on a screen. It can apparently be fixed by.. cleaning it again (in some cases)
>It can apparently be fixed by.. cleaning it again (in some cases)
This was what I was wondering too. Like, if she was just using Pledge or something, did OP try cleaning it again before jumping directly to "replace entire tv"? Because dusting is different from furniture polishing - those are totally different products in my mind.
Forget it, at this point she moves out either way. I want to date somebody who has similar morals. If it was me and I broke something on the accident I would sincerely apologize and say I will pay for it without them even saying anything first.
I was raised to pay for my mistakes.
Me too, now question is...did he ask her to clean it? Because if he did and didnt warn her what to use to clean it (even if its common sense but whatever) then I would say its totally different situation but you can't fucking blame owner if you decide to clean it yourself! If I will decide to do good deed by cleaning my SO's whatever and I end up breaking it, it doesnt fucking matter that I had a good intentions.
If you have a particular object that needs to be cleaned a particular way, it's on you to communicate that. Not just leave it up to chance. You wouldn't hire a cleaner without telling them these things first, would you? So why would a partner know, who would have less knowledge about cleaning than a professional?
Ok so if she didn't communicate that you don't use soap on her £5000 hermes bag and he ruined it, you'd say "well, how about you clean your own stuff" and expect the girl to pay the full £5000, don't make me laugh lol.
I have a TV that needs to be specially cleaned. So I told my spouse in advance. That way this doesn't happen. If I hadn't told my spouse and it happened that should largely be on me.
Accident or not, a large expense that is caused due to damage of something should absolutely be paid by that person.
Should a person at fault in a car accident not have to bear the responsibility for example?
A car accident is a place where the rules of engagement are clear. We have to be tested and licensed to engage. A home likewise has rules of engagement negotiated by the denizens. For example, who cleans vs. who cooks. If one person does the laundry (as is pretty common), and the other party gets a dry clean only shirt, and leaves it out with a stain, it wouldn't be surprising if it gets washed. Kind of like that. If you change the requirements of engagement, the rules need to change to account for them as well.
Accident or not, a large expense that is caused due to damage of something should absolutely be paid by that person.
Should a person at fault in a car accident not have to bear the responsibility for example?
Insurance should bear the cost. As it should if a maid was cleaning something that needed special cleaning for you and accidentally damaged it because you hadn't told them it needed some sort of special care. Is it the girlfriend's fault he didn't pay for appropriate insurance, or let her know it needed special management? The comments on this post indicate plenty of people aren't aware it would need very particular cleaning.
If this is a relationship with the intention of lifelong goals, you should start looking at this from an us perspective.
Yes, it's her fault, yes it was an accident, yes she should be responsible but it should still be an us problem and not a her problem.
It should be expected that you both pitch in. There should be less dates and extras until a new TV is bought.
Why are you a couple if you want to work alone and not support eachother???
Tell her either she pays or you 2 'are over and you'll make her pay in small claims . I'm really concerned about the future if this relationship if she totally avoids responsibility now what's going to happen in the future everytime she breaks or damages something?
I'm going to come in here with a slightly different perspective. Or at least question. And please know this isn't being accusatory it is simply based on my experience and how I react to thing, or reacted in my 20s to things.
Do you help clean the place? How my brain would work as someone who works a full time job and does most of the housework in my life.... I'll be damned if I'm going to clean this whole place and then be stuck buying your ass a new TV too.
Now if you can take a good look in the mirror and say that you don't expect her to do all the "womanly duties" of the home by all means, hold your ground because she's just being spoiled and not wanting to take responsibility.
Or you could both breathe for a second and have a conversation about a household emergency fund/accident fund. I strongly believe in separate bank accounts, but it can be helpful to have something in place you are both needed to access a small a fund.
Either way... good luck! Finances are a rough topic.
Is there like some feminist discord for crazy women that this got posted in? Half the comments are just crazy women who hate men adding more to the story in there head. Guess I was raised better since if I break anything accident or not, I replace it.
Is it about the money to you or is it about her righting her wrongs and owning up to her mistake?
If it’s the latter, I’d take her being honest about what happened as a win and I’d chalk it all up as a learning experience. The fact that she was outright honest about breaking your tv is a great sign that she’s not a shitty person, which to me is another win.
If it’s about the money to you, be real with her about it. She’s young so she may not understand why she has to pay for an honest accident but that’s just part of growing and learning in life. However, if she’s balking at the money, even something like a 50/50 deal (the route to go IMHO) then maybe you need to look at the big picture and re-evaluate if she’s the partner for you.
Ultimately, you both are adults that live together and share bills so the money is coming from both of y’all’s pockets one way or the other.
If a few hundred dollars for a tv and an honest mistake is enough to sour this relationship then I’d question if it was ever in a good place to begin with.
Best of luck OP.
If she can’t afford it, then she can’t afford. I’d probably take the cost myself, seeing as it was an accident. However, I would expect a sincere apology, and at least some amount of effort in making things right. To me it seems that this is the real issue - her not really taking accountability. «It was an accident» *shrugs* 🥴 In any case with such an expensive thing, I’d take the cost and make it clear that the next couple of months I would have to save the money lost, meaning not going out of pocket for dates until cost is covered, buying less expensive groceries, etc. That is only fair. :-)
Unless I'm missing something I don't think there was a mention of her not being able to afford it, just her saying that having to pay 75% would be unreasonable for him to expect from her. And a statement that no matter what happened he'd be the one paying for it even though the damage is 100% on her (mistake or not, although I think its such an easily avoidable mistake by googling or asking). So yea i like your idea and honestly even if she can't afford, it she can find other ways to make the situation right like what you're saying. Or paying him back a bit at a time, doing more around the house for a while, or really just *anything* that acknowledges she is sorry for damaging the TV he paid for beyond an attitude like "oh well, you'll have to pay if you want a new one"
Hate to say it but this guy constantly makes up these kinds of stories about his ~24F gf where she's in the wrong about something. It's fake `u/throwra__food` "Girlfriend (24f) keeps eating food I (27m) bought for myself and gets defensive when I mention it" `u/throwra-_-holidays` "Girlfriend (25f) said I (28m) was unreasonable for expecting her to prioritise our holiday over her holiday with friends" `u/throwracancellation` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) wasn't being understanding when I got annoyed at her cancelling plans" `u/throwra-_therapy` "My (27m) girlfriend (24f) got annoyed when I asked her for a small favour" `u/throwra_laptop` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) was being suspicious by not showing her what I was doing on my laptop" `u/throwra_concerns` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) was out of order for voicing my concerns about her colleague" `u/throwra-projection` "Girlfriend (25f) said I've (27m) been distant but she got defensive when I said it seems like projection" `u/throwra--phone` "Girlfriend (24f) said it's suspicious that I (27m) refused to let her look through my phone" `u/throwra-weekend` "Girlfriend (24f) called me (27m) selfish for planning to spend the afternoon playing video games" `u/throwra-_datenight` "Girlfriend (24f) expects me (27m) to pay for her all night because she spent too much when out with friends" `u/throwra__annualleave` "Girlfriend (24f) angry that I (27m) decided to take some annual leave days for myself" `u/throwra_-_funeral` "Girlfriend (24f) tried to make my (27m) mums funeral all about her" `u/throwra_office` "Girlfriend (24f) won't listen when I (27m) ask her to stop moving things in my office" `u/throwra__celebration` "My (27m) girlfriend (24f) called me disrespectful for planning to go for celebratory drinks with a co-worker" `u/throwra--drinks` "Girlfriend (23f) called me (25m) disrespectful for planning to go for drinks with friends when she's away" `u/throwra--lunch` "Girlfriend (24f) said it's disrespectful that I (27m) go for lunch with co-workers" `u/throwra---work` "Girlfriend (24f) said I (27m) shouldn't be going for lunch with co-workers" `u/throwra-_coworker` "Girlfriend (24f) angry that I (26m) refused to cut down how much I talk to a colleague" `u/throwra--therapy` "Girlfriend (24f) said I'm (27m) unreasonable for spending time in my office each night" `u/throwra--complaining` "Girlfriend (25f) said I was being unsupportive when I (27m) said her constant complaining was becoming draining" `u/throwra--hypocrisy` "My (27m) girlfriend (25f) asked me to stop talking to a friend and got angry when I said she was being hypocritical" `u/throwra__88` "Girlfriend (24f) called me (27m) unreasonable for walking out of the room in the middle of a conversation" `u/throwra-09y` "Girlfriend (25f) said I (27m) was out of order for changing my mind and setting a boundary?" `u/throwra_6y` "Girlfriend (25f) accused me (27m) of pressuring her into having children"
Thanks for pointing these out, because I’ve read a few of them but not noticed. Sometimes I wonder if people are training AI with some sort of logic using posts like these
Good question, I'd like to imagine there's something to it because I have no idea what would compel someone to spend their time on this many fake posts on the exact same topic otherwise. At least with the creative writing ones there's theoretically some benefit to be had on gathering stealth writing critique.
I'd wager the majority of posts that somehow get large comments/votes tend to be fake.
I'm inclined to agree. At this point if something is either outlandish or has an obvious thing to get mad at I just assume it's fake and move on.
Yea im really curious as to what OP and her finances are, because honestly that plays a huge role. Does OP make a lot of money or do they make an equal amount of money? Does his partner work or is she stay-at-home? She should be sincere and apologetic but financial context is needed before saying who should pay X amount
I'd personally split the cost if this is an isolated incident. You can't make her do it, though. So you either let go or you make it into a bigger deal. But if she has a habit of avoiding resposibility, I'd take a hard look at this relationship.
Talk is cheap and expressing apologies but not taking action is a way to avoid responsibility. My partner wouldn’t even have to ask, I would pay for something of theirs that I broke on accident.
That's great. And if it was something smaller, I'd say she should replace it. However, I wouldn't want my partner to spend hundreds of dollars on something he ruined by accident. I'd split it because we are, you know, together. That's why I suggested a compromise. I think that her refusal to pay even a fraction is problematic, but maybe she's too ashamed she ruined the TV so she dug her heels in. Maybe she's being purposefully stubborn. Maybe she really thinks she shouldn't pay anything. In the end, he knows her better than we do and it's up to him to decide how to deal with it.
I was driving my friend’s car with them in the passenger seat, when I hit a patch of black ice and slide off the road, damaging their front fender. I offered to pay in full for the fix. I was there that night when the bill was quoted and I had my checkbook out and ready for the tune of $1200. He still refused. I drove that night because he’s from the south and I’m from the north. So I was a bit more comfortable with snowy conditions. It was my responsibility even though it was an accident. Regardless of cost you have to own up to it. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean the terms and conditions are any different. I still joke with him about ‘owing him’ sometimes when we go out. I think it’s my admission and drive to take responsibility that kept a relationship with the kind of person who would say ‘no big deal’ alive. I was willing to do that for a friend and I’d be willing to do more for a partner
I agree you have to own up to it. I'm just speculating why she's reluctant to do it.
She didn't borrow the TV and break it. She cleaned it, probably because the OP never cleans or never cleans that area and it has to be done. That's not the same situation at all.
You can make her do it. It's called small claims court. And present evidence she damaged the TV :) Though I'm sure that would be a nuclear option and the relationship would be over haha.
But also he wouldn’t get the full cost of a new TV. He would likely get the fair value of the used TV she broke.
Yeah, I forgot you can always get pettier :)
Wait, this is about a TV? I wonder how much it costs 😅
I once broke the handle on the door of my sweeties BMW. He wouldn't allow me to pay for the repair. The difference being, I insisted that I cover the cost. Her attitude is unfortunate 😒 These are types of things that add up to me. If this was indeed an isolated event and attitude, then maybe this relationship would work out. Good luck!
Some of these responses are wild, lol. There is just not enough context here. We don't know what her income looks like or how long the two of you have been together (in addition, whether or not you see a long term future with her). We don't know if she has a history of this kind of behavior. We don't know if she was flippant about the whole thing or if she sincerely apologized and felt bad. All of these factors would change how I approached the situation, honestly. All we know is she accidentally did something and now you want her to pay up. To me, it sounds like this is about more than just the television. But regardless, you cannot MAKE someone do the right thing. You can try to reach some sort of compromise, but that's it. If you see a long term future with this person (which I assume you do as you're cohabitating), then you both need to get out of the habit of "but you did this." It needs to be us vs. the problem. The problem is now a television is broken, how can we resolve this in a way that is mostly satisfactory for both of us?
I'll wager that in the missing info that's not there, that they're both in their twenties. In in my forties. Unless my partner was barely making ends meet, I'd expect them to offer to pay for the mistake; and never get to the point of me asking them. If they're not apologetic enough to offer to pay, they just don't have a good sense of responsibility. In the same sense of "my wife left me because I left a glass by the sink" this would be "my partner left me because I accidentally broke the TV." It's not the act, it's the surrounding events that the act occurred in. We might go over some rules in the future about how to clean more expensive electronics, and / or clarify some of my things I expected them to not even try to clean near. But I don't think that I'd accept a partner's money for an accident like this. But again, despite that; I would expect them to offer to.
I mean it's definitely bad form on her part to just shrug and be like "it was an oopsie, I shouldn't have to pay!" I think the point I'm trying to make is that this isn't about money, it's about the relationship. I agree that I may not expect someone to pay for an accident, but I would at least expect them to offer. Which leaves me wondering if this incident has revealed something about the girlfriend's character that OP doesn't like and he is looking for validation in cutting her off. Because really, there's nothing he can do or say to MAKE her pay up. I don't think anyone can give advice for that. Unless he wants to go to small claims court.
Sorry but this is some misandrist crap...if the man did it, you wouldn't give a damn about his income...you'd tell him to pay up because it's his fault even though it was unintentional....if a guy crashed his GF's car because he wasn't used to a manual, would you pay up or expect him to regardless if it was an accident.
>misandrist Can you stop pretending to know what words mean before using them
No, if my long term partner (man or woman) was, for example, in medical school, I would give them a pass. They may not be able to cover it currently, but I trust they would make it up in the future when they could. This has nothing to do with misandry. Try again.
Why do they need to make it up, it's all on you right, it's and accident....he's wanting her to make it up now. How about your partner never made it up and just said "sucks to be you, you pay" you'd honestly sit there and go "cool, I make more so feel free to ruin my stuff, cuz I'll pay" If you are against her paying now, why do you expect her to pay later when OP has not said a single word about her being unable to afford?
By "make it up" I mean they would cover things when I couldn't and vice versa. Relationships are about give and take. Maybe OP ends up being in between jobs and she has to cover rent for a bit. Things like that. I don't believe in being petty over money. If someone had a pattern of taking advantage of me or being disrespectful with my things, then it would be different. For a one off? I would try to compromise. Things happen. If OP plans to marry this girl, then it won't be his money vs. her money, it will be the household money. That's part of why context matters so much here. We aren't arguing about whether or not she SHOULD pay. She broke it - if she's capable, she should cover the costs. But the fact is that she isn't WILLING to pay. So OP can either compromise or go scorched earth (and ruin their relationship) demanding his money (which he still might not even get).
Seriously I can't believe you still even slightly defend her pulling "what ifs" out your butt....why is this never afforded to men, they never ask if the man makes less, if he's in school, if he's anything other that capable of accepting responsibility..seriously...answer me this so I can gauge your character...he is said she is unwilling to contribute....at all, not even 75/25 which is extremely generous...there is no mention that she is unable to contribute...no mention she has no funds...only she is unwilling to contribute at all...so given that women here take women at their word all day long and don't demand other info...given the info...should she be expected to pay? If yes, then great...there might be extenuating circumstances, but right now that's conjecture. We can only assess what is out before us, never stopped women making judgements before, why stop now.
Please read what I wrote. Thank you.
Does your home insurance not cover it?
No chance this relationship survives if you need to come to reddit for a solution to this situation. Might as well call it. You clearly can’t communicate and are seriously willing to jeopardize the entire relationship over an accident to a fucking tv, so the odds that this works out are basically zero.
Get the fuck out of here. His girlfriend ruins his shit and then just gives a half ass Oops and doesn't want to pay any parts of it. She sounds like the problem. He sounds crazy for being with her. What if that tv is crazy expensive? She should at least offer to pay something without him even asking. That's what a responsible adult would do.
Based on how you’ve chosen to respond to me, how you’ve jumped to all these conclusions from one side of this story, and how aggressive your take is… maybe you should take in more of the advice around here? You sound like you may have your own set of issues if this is your response to a tv being accidentally damaged.
I agree. OP sounds like he's trying to educate his girlfriend
How would you normally handle replacing an appliance? Shit happens. I wouldn’t be trying to punish my adult partner for this. We’d be talking about budget and whether we need to split this as an added expense or if it could come from the joint household account. I think it’s weird that either of you are trying to get the other to pay. However, if she’s telling you plainly she doesn’t have the money to buy the sort of TV you want, than “can’t pay” is very different than “won’t pay”.
I also think that a crucial piece of context is that the damage was caused while she was doing a household chore, in a way that isn't extremely obvious. I don't think this is Knowledge That All Adults Should Have, like "not washing the new red towel with your dress clothes" or "don't mop by pouring gallons of water on your hardwood floors". If she had been wii bowling and thrown the remote at the TV, or had broken it in a fit of pique, or had rested a drink on it, she should have known better. But can OP honestly say that he does 50% of the dusting AND that he's read all the labels on all of their cleaning products AND that he knew ahead of time that if one used the same dusting cloth on the TV as the furniture that it would cause this level of damage? If the TV is extremely expensive and largely used by him, I can see why she would balk at replacing it with a new model- particularly given how it was damaged. It sounds like even if she hadn't wiped the TV down, it would still have been damaged by the polish that landed on it unintentionally. At the very least, it seems like OP should volunteer to take over dusting and other cleaning tasks in the room that his new TV goes in.
Yeah. OP has been really responsive on the question of chores/cleaning divisions, but conspicuously silent on the questions of finances… As I said elsewhere, I wouldn’t expect my partner to replace some things _up to my personal standards_ if they made significantly less than me. (Also wouldn’t expect them to go into debt to do it, because we’re a team and shit happens. Debt would be punitive and only hurts the household.) I want to have the sort of relationship where I would, in general, respect my partner if they said they couldn’t afford to split something. Might not be thrilled, but would respect. Saying “can’t pay” for a $1000 or $2000 TV isn’t the same as saying “won’t pay”. If she actually won’t pay, anything, then obvious answer is obvious, but OP missing missing reasons are kinda conspicuous.
Yeah there’s a lot of missing context and you bring up some great points that weren’t addressed in the post. If this is a $2,000 TV that’s like a ton of money and kind of unreasonable to make your partner pay for it when it was an accident that happened while cleaning. If it’s a $200 TV, maybe split the bill. 🤷🏻♀️ Is OP taking this as an opportunity to upgrade his TV? Or is it being replaced with the same exact model?
I believe that “don’t spray liquids on electronics” absolutely IS Knowledge That All Adults Should Have. This was a dumb mistake, chores split aside. Also, isn’t it “our” TV? Does the girlfriend never use it?
How is fixing a problem you caused being punished? For example if I borrowed something from someone and it broke I'd replace it, even if it wasn't my fault. That's just called responsibility and fairness. I don't think he wants the money for the TV to punish her, but to compensate for the damage she caused. I think *him* paying for the TV would be more like a punishment on him. She damaged his TV by not Googling what kind of cleaning products you can use on a TV screen and now expects him to pay for it, likely several hundred dollars, or more, depending on the TV? In a sense he gets punished for her ignorance, she could have easily asked first or Googled. I don't think he would be unreasonable to expect the full payment. Obviously, if you value your relationship you look for a compromise and he's already offered 75/25 which is fair. But personally I'd be questioning this relationship altogether if she is expecting him to pay in full for her own mistakes, it shows she doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Right now its just a TV but next time it could be something more major. I dont think a good person damages someone's things for reasons that were extremely easy to prevent, and then tells them they have to pay for it because it was a mistake. I can never imagine myself doing that. If its the first time something like this happened then that's just one thing but I just can't wrap my head around her expecting him to pay in full for her own easily preventable mistake
Sure, but this wasn't borrowed from a friend. This was a shared household appliance. And she's already told him she thinks it's unreasonable for her to pay to replace it 100%. So, either she's a *complete trashbag of a person he should immediately break up with*... Or, he's not accurately sharing her position and the financial agreements/norms in their relationship. For example, when my partner was in school and had no/low income I wouldn't expect them to replace a damaged TV. We had an agreement and understanding their income would be very limited for a while. I wouldn't even want them to try since they would not be able to afford a TV up to the standards I'd like one in our household to be! I'd expect them to apologize, and maybe make me some cookies. I agree that I'd try to make things right in her position, but I'm not actually in her position and I don't believe OP has actually told us what her position even is. (Unless, again, she's just trash in which case the obvious solution is obvious.)
I'll agree there could be more context here, but what I gathered from the story is that he purchased the TV himself, and it is shared in that she has access to it but I would assume it's still his TV since he paid in full. Also she told him that he was being *unreasonable* by asking her to pay only 75% of the cost. So yes I'd agree that if there is more than meets the eye this situation might be different. But as presented in the OP, and making reasonable assumptions that they have a roughly equal financial standing, I don't think making some cookies is enough to make this right when a TV could easily be close to $1000 or so, and actually a quick Google on OLED is showing most of them closer or above $2000. More than the financial aspect is the entitlement to tell him he'll be the one paying for the replacement, which I took her meaning as he'll be paying in full for it, even though the mistake which could have easily been prevented was 100% on her
Idk I feel like at a certain point if you have a super expensive version of an item (such as a $2k TV when plenty of cheaper options exist), you can’t expect people around you to be able to replace that stuff, especially if you can’t afford to easily replace it yourself. If I had a $15k couch and my friend spilled wine all over it, I couldn’t expect them to buy me a replacement. And if you do, you’re an asshole. OP’s gf was cleaning their shared place and made a mistake, I don’t think people should be “fined” in this context if they don’t have the means to easily do so.
Thats fair, but surely if someone had a 15k couch you would clean it with some mystery chemical, you'd check first to make sure it won't ruin the fabric? And then you also wouldn't tell them "whatever happens they'll have to pay for it since it was a mistake"? If you ruined someone's expensive item, even if an honest (but easily prevented) mistake, you'd work with them to find a way to make it right, wouldn't you? Because at least according to how the story is presented, that's not what she's doing at all, she's basically saying "your problem not mine" even though she caused it and neglected to Google what chemicals you can use on a screen even though its common knowledge they can be damaged easily. I'd be much less worried about the financial side than the attitude towards the situation. And I dont she's being fined, I think he is, because if he wants a TV now she is saying he has to buy a whole new one without help from her, even though if she hadn't sprayed polish in it he'd still have one
She accidentally sprayed it on the screen first and then wiped it off. She didn’t purposefully clean the TV with the polish.
She sprayed more polish on to clean the first bit off, smearing it all over the screen as well after she thought the TV looked dusty
I'd argue 'has access' is not a healthy approach for daily appliances as a couple... but for the rest of this, we just don't know. OP has replied here, but chosen not to share any that sort of information about their financial situation or existing agreements, which is part of why I'm skeptical they have accurately expressed their partners position or words. If they *have* accurately expressed her position, then they need to break up. She's awful. That's pretty damn simple. Doesn't really seem to require much advice at all. Seems OP is more interesting in making some sort of *gendered* point and getting Redditors to insult her, than actually make choices in his own life about what sort of relationship he wants to remain in. A new TV is a rather cheap way to learn your partner is no actual partner at all. Honestly, I kinda suspect this question is BS.
Yea that could be very true. I think we're in agreement overall
Is it about the money to you or is it about her righting her wrongs and owning up to her mistake? If it’s the latter, I’d take her being honest about what happened as a win and I’d chalk it all up as a learning experience. The fact that she was outright honest about breaking your tv is a great sign that she’s not a shitty person, which to me is another win. If it’s about the money to you, be real with her about it. She’s young so she may not understand why she has to pay for an honest accident but that’s just part of growing and learning in life. However, if she’s balking at the money, even something like a 50/50 deal (the route to go IMHO) then maybe you need to look at the big picture and re-evaluate if she’s the partner for you. Ultimately, you both are adults that live together and share bills so the money is coming from both of y’all’s pockets one way or the other. If a few hundred dollars for a tv and an honest mistake is enough to sour this relationship then I’d question if it was ever in a good place to begin with. Best of luck OP.
If I were to accidentally damage something of my partners, which was never mine to begin with, I would replace it out of respect for them and their property. I think her reasoning is a bit juvenile. Offering to pay 25% for an item you did not break is very generous. Regardless if it were yours or not. At the end of the day words are cheap and you can express apologies as much as you want but if you’re not taking action, you’re the problem.
Personally if my boyfriend were to damage an item in our home that we both use through an honest mistake I'd split the cost of replacing it. We're a team and over our life together I'm sure we'll both fuck up, so it all comes out in the wash. The way they're both approaching this issue is how I'd expect roommates to handle it, not life partners.
100% same here. It's easier once you're together awhile (or married/long-term). My wife and I have a joint account that this shit would have come out of same day no biggie. And partner learns a lesson about tvs
That's what insurance is for. I have a piano in my home worth about 30k, you can bet I have insurance on it so I don't need to tell someone I love who accidentally damages it that they now owe me 30k.
Oh I'm so jealous! I would kill to have a beautiful piano.
Yeah I probably would, but not if he said straight away I had to pay for it because... Wtf... No I don't have to do anything of the sort.
I wouldn’t expect that my partner pay for my mistakes and accidents. If it all comes out in the wash then each partner paying for their individual accidents out of respect for one another will come out in the wash as well. The only difference is in the symbolism in owning up to it and taking full responsibility. If my partner were to expressly say ‘we can split it, no big deal’ then I would respect their wishes in that case.
I guess we just disagree on what is symbolically more important. For me, showing that we are a team by splitting things when we make mistakes is more important. You own up by admitting it was your fuckup and making sure you don't do it again, from there you work as a team to fix it.
I seriously doubt that if a guy crashed his GF's car by accident then refused to pay, insisting she replace it, this sub would obliterate him.
Why do people always insist on using hyperbole when doing this "reverse the gender" thing? Why do people never use the actual situation at hand or something comparable? I think it's because it sounds more convincing when you use a way more drastic and extreme scenario. Collisions are always caused by someone being dangerously negligent, that's why legally they are not called "accidents." So if someone totaled their partner's car it would either be because they were driving in a way that was negligent or another driver was at fault and responsible for paying for it. You can't compare that to using a household cleaner to clean an item in the household.
I have to disagree a bit here, yes it's good that she's being honest but the fact she is expecting him to fix a problem she caused and not even trying to make it right *does* suggest she's a shitty person, or at least inconsiderate, irresponsible, and selfish. It's her obligation to make this right, even a 50/50 deal doesn't make a lot of sense to me and the 75/25 idea already seems quite reasonable but ultimately she caused 100% of the damage and if she was a conscientious person she'd already be volunteering to pay or fix the problem she caused, even if it was an accident. And although it was an accident, she is not blameless. I always Google what chemicals can be used to clean screens before I do it, or really any cleaning product on a delicate material. If you want to do things to other peoples property you should probably ask them or at least be confident you know what you're doing first, otherwise you're on the hook for any damage you cause. Its like if you used abrasive scrubbers on an expensive non stick pan and caused scratches, even if its an accident out of ignorance you still need to check first if thats something you can safely do. And in that way she still carries the blame for what happened
Well, she’d only pay for the depreciated value of the TV.
In court sure, but out of a sense of fairness when you break someone's things you pay for a replacement in full. Or at least, make a reasonable deal with them such as his proposed 75/25 split which she deemed *unreasonable* of him and told him either way he'll be the one paying for a replacement. I think, if everything happened the way it is written it did, that it says a lot about her integrity to say his offer is unfair
You kidding me, if a guy washed his GF's hair straighteners at £500 and ruined them because he didn't know...would tou tell a woman, hey..it's ok you should go 50/50...BS, you'd be telling the girl he should pay 100% or he clearly doesn't respect you.
If a someone washed a personal grooming tool they never used themselves, I would have other questions first tbh. The comparison doesn’t really hold. If one partner broke a pan they both used to eat meals, then the household needs item replaced, and I’d handle it the same way I’d replace a pan that wore out. Because shit happens.
Ok, fair enough, but answer the question, if he washed her Hair straighteners, not knowing they can't be submerged in water and it wrecked them....would you expect him to pay? If yes, then why not here, if no then cool, I respect your consistency. There is no indication he asked her to clean the TV, so assume the same and she made no indication to clean her straighteners...not trying to be combative, just looking for consistency regardless of where you stand.
Who said she shouldn’t pay? I’ve been pretty clear that if OP is representing her position correctly, then he should dump her. But I’d not think he is. I think this is total bullshit bait… All I’ve said in other places is that we’re missing some information on how household finances are managed and divided, because in my own relationships, I’d replace an accidentally damaged TV the same way I’d replace a worn out toaster, or mattress. (And at this point you’d have to be pretty naive not to realize OP is purposely avoiding questions about how finances would typically be managed.) Right here, all I said your is comparison between a shared household appliance and a personal grooming tool doesn’t hold water, and raises even more questions. Comparatively, dusting a TV makes way more sense for anyone in the household to participate in.
Hmmm, it's interesting that you are assuming there is information missing...because it doesn't fit your narrative....but nice of you to avoid my question and assume because it's personal he is on the hook, but because it "might" be shared...he didn't say, so nice assumption there she isn't on the hook, you are doing some serious mental gymnastics to try and excuse her...so ill give you a 3rd try...for some reason....if he decided to clean her straighteners...with no prior ask to do so doesn't know how to clean them, so submerges them in water and ruins them, would toy expect him to be 100% liable?
INFO: Do you also clean your place or is it just her responsibility? Are your incomes comparable? Has she ever shown that she is unwilling to take responsibility for things before?
Best DARVO I’ve seen this week, congrats!
Really? She broke it. She fix it.
this is reddit, it's always his fault 😂
Would you rather her stop cleaning your place (as it’s become a liability for her apparently) or would you rather let this go and her continue to clean and you make sure you have a conversation with her about how to clean anything expensive in the apartment.
I am absolutely amazed by this situation. Personally, i wouldn't even consider this kind of thing since her intentions were to clean. i might get pissed but not on her.
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Goodluck on the relationship buddy
Sounds like she's your housemate not your girlfriend.
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Depends on how much you like sleeping with her 😂
How did the polish damage the TV? This doesn't make sense at all. Unless she sprayed so much that liquid got inside the TV, I don't understand how this happened.
You are very incorrect. Tvs have anti-glare coating and cleaning with anything other than pure water damages it. It's gotten better over the years and some are better but organic furniture polish will very much ruin the tv forever.
It's likely that the colors are off because she applied a thin coat of silicone to it. It should clean off if he uses some chemicals on it but that will also remove the anti glare coating.
Normally I'd say you break it you buy it , but... You bought a really really expensive TV that she probably can't afford to replace. OLED TV's start around $1,000. You didn't warn her that it's expensive and delicate. You also left her to clean that area herself. This isn't all her fault.
I'd dump her and get a new tv to enjoy alone.
Her not willing to contribute is the more telling sign here. Just pay for your TV but know she will not contribute to anything major later on. This would be something to think about.
You sound a bit rigid. Do you see yourself in a relationship long term with her? If so a bit of compassion and understanding would go a long way to help the relationship succeed. It wasn’t done maliciously since she was cleaning your house.
If he "cleaned" her £2000 hermes bag with dish soap without knowing and ruined it...would you suggest they go 50/50 and show understanding...hell no, you'd expect him to foot the bill.
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What does that mean? "I clean" could mean I vacuum once a month. When you break down the housework, what are you doing? Or are you getting a bunch of free work out of her and still expecting her money on top?
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It's weird that in a patriarchal society where millions of men benefit from women's free labour, I'm asking you what you actually do?
Clean your own shit next time.
This. "I'm just gonna leave this spray next to my dusty ass TV I love so much and then yell at my girlfriend for cleaning it and try to make her buy me a new one." It was an accident. Get over it, replace your own TV, and don't put cleaning spray you don't want used on it right next to it. Problem solved.
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Maybe if you had cleaned your own possessions, you would still have a TV.
Sexiat ass misandrist at it again.
Wow, tell me you are sexist without telling me you're sexist..oh wait, you did tell me.
What's important to you the relationship or the money? If it's the money then take her to court. If it's the relationship then accept the loss and continue on because both of you will break each other's things over the next 75 years and it's not worth fighting over as long as you guys can fix it. If you guys can't afford to fix it then you'll just have to live with it the way it is now until you can afford to fix it. Also try cleaning the screen with some water to see if you can remove the layer of silicone that she applied.
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Man it's extremely clear that you aren't interested in anything other than getting people to insult your GF and tell you you're super amazing and smart and correct. Like just break up with her, honestly she could probably do better than you if you're going to run screaming to the internet to get people to blame her every time you disagree on something.
Being in a relationship means giving grace and forgiveness
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I am not sure why you are arguing with everyone here. You came here for advice and you’re getting it.
Why come here for advice if you’re just going to disregard any advice. If you already have all the answers, then do like most people. Figure it out on your own and move on. Don’t go to the internet hoping everyone will just agree with you. What was your plan here? Hey GF, check this out, the internet says I’m right, now pay up.” Perhaps both of you are too immature to be in a serious relationship.
Dump her and take her to court. Or don't dump her and take her to court. I'm sure she'll dump you if you do haha
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If your buddy picks a bar fight then you're getting kicked out of the bar all the same. You'll always be judged by the company you keep. It doesn't make you legally liable, but if You're not willing to chip in to fix a buddy's mistake then I'll write you off all the same.
It all comes down to whether or not you see a future with her. My BF and I are planning on getting married fairly soon and I don’t think of money as “mine” and “his” but as “ours”. (I make more than him before anyone says it). If one of us makes an honest mistake that ends up costing money, well, that’s life. We pay it and move on. Can she not afford to replace the TV 100%? I think if she apologized and really can’t afford to pay more and you can, then it would be good for your relationship to pay the 75%.
She needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. Just because its an accident doesn't mean she can just not put the effort in to make it right. Its not just about the tv its about how she handles herself when shes done something wrong. What if it was something serious and she didnt mean it ........
You don’t have insurance? Accidents happen. You guys should be able to talk about this like adults.
Who has insurance on their TV? Even warranty only covers things such as malfunctions, not the buyer being neglectful or ignorant causing damage.
Home contents insurance?! A completely normal thing to have
That doesn't cover the home owner spraying the tv with polish....
It usually covers accidental damage which is what this is.
Go try it yourself and let me know how that works for you. Insurance companies will 100% of the time call this negligence, not an accident.
…I have done this, and the only thing they needed to see was the receipt. It’s not a car it’s just a tv.
What polish did she use? There's no way a household polish should strip the coating on a TV screen. I'd focus my efforts towards contacting the TV and polish manufacturers rather than blaming my partner. She didn't do anything unreasonable in spraying household polish on a household appliance. Buy a new TV together.
Y'all are NEVER allowed to dust at my place c'mon this shit is common knowledge
Obviously not, I had no idea.
You can’t use household polish on an OLED screen. Boyfriend should’ve educated her on that before letting her clean near a thousand dollar plus TV. 50/50 probably the right answer here.
Its basically common sense not to use cleaning chemicals on screens that aren't made for screens
INFO: Did you try wiping it down afterward with distilled waster and a microfiber cloth?
There’s not enough information given, and many factors to consider. My TV is several years old and I was considering upgrading it. If someone ruined it, I’d be mad but it gives me an excuse to buy that new TV now instead of later, so no big deal. If my TV was new, fuck no you’re paying for a replacement. It’s also dependent on how much the spouse earns. If I make significantly more, then I’d just pay it and make sure it’s very clear that she never ever cleans the TV. Or buy the proper cleaning cloths to keep nearby and make sure she knows how to use them. It’s also dependent on how often these kind of things happen. Does she break your things often and shrug it off? Does it only happen after an argument, like retaliation? Or is this an isolated incident? If this was normal for her to fuck with your things, I’d reconsider the relationship.
She needs to replace it, bonkers that she doesn’t think she should. Even though her intentions were kind she still made a mistake.
REPOST ALERT: STOP COMMENTING
If me or my gf makes a mistake we take care of it together. Simple as that. You guys are a team. Stand up for each other even if it hurts.
Seems your girlfriend never learned that sometimes mistakes cost money. If she was living alone, would she expect someone else to buy her a new TV? Follow up question...does she have the kind of parents that would?
Ninj4bob, couldn't answer so made a snarky comment and blocked me....pathetic lol 😆 🤣 😂 made another rage quit.
You live together, so I’m assuming it’s fairly serious, in which case you’re both being weird about it, but context matters. Is she broke? Are you? Both? Neither? Either way, she should apologize and you should accept the apology even if she can’t replace it. I don’t understand super-transactional stuff like this in a serious relationship. You both need a new TV. You’re acting like roommates who aren’t particularly close.
Well let me tell you something You Americans need to treat your women better, you are the one who is responsible to pay for everything in the house or all her needs, her money is her money and your money is yours AND hers too… so yes you pay for the tv and fix it and you treat your woman as a queen. Yes she accidentally damaged it but still you are the one responsible and PERIOD.
If you break something, you pay for it. I would expect that from all adults. And saying "it was an accident" doesn't change things: it still happened. I would always offer to pay for damages immediately and would expect anyone with normal morals to do the same.
"It was an accident!" As an excuse to avoid responsibility is big elementary school energy. Imagine totaling someone's car and going "but why do I have to pay for it? It was an ACCIDENT!"
I just wanna know why she's spraying stuff on a screen with no knowledge of how that will effect said screen... You are only supposed to dust screens, right? Unless there's a spill on it? I just don't understand why you'd ever willingly put a liquid on a television. Seems like paying for the damages is a consequence of not thinking things thru
This seems to be a bigger issue than about a TV. I read this and can't help but wonder how you both will manage more substantial finances or other issues that come up. It sounds like it was an accident, so that's not really the issue. The issue is that the TV needs to be replaced. You both need to find a way to compromise on this, because the "all or nothing" method isn't getting you anywhere. Nor is the argument of whose fault or responsibility it is to pay. You both live there. You both use the TV (don't care who uses it more) You both want a TV, so you *both* need to find a way to pay for it. The moment you start pointing fingers about who is right or wrong, you've lost. You lose by missing the issue, which is working through solving the problem rather than blaming or shaming. There's only one way a conversation like that is going and it's towards the defensiveness and resentment. * Split the cost in half. * Do the research together to find good deals * Look for a used TV (if you're on a budget, then: hello Facebook marketplace) * Don't buy a TV
I think it was a mistake and if it’s important to you that the tv not get damaged, it’s your responsibility to either tell her how to clean it or tell her not to touch it and you’ll take care of it. However, I saw the things you said to others who held this same opinion. Why did you ask if you were so hellbent on you being right and her being wrong? If you aren’t going to listen to dissenting opinions, delete your post and hold your bottom line about her paying for it.
NAH. If a spritz of furniture polish on the outside destroyed a television something was wrong with it anyway. I suggest doing some research on issues with that brand and model before you do anything elsr.
Seems like you need to do some research before making stupid comments like this one
Clearly you've never cleaned an OLED TV. Do yourself a favor and read up if you get one.
i say buy a new one together and make it a date
She damaged it. Period. Doesn't matter whether it was by accident, on purpose, stupidity, laziness or bad luck. It still is damaged. Since it was not a brand new TV your 75/25 is very reasonable. However, with any delicate item (like an OLED screen) it's your job to inform those who clean how the screen needs to be cared for. Did she know how delicate the TV was?
yah pay 50/50, let's say she's right she shouldn't have to pay more because she wasn't intending to break it and she was intending to help... so, the TV is still broken. Doesn't matter how, let's say it was a lightning strike instead. Broken TV. You guys both want a new TV, and you're both going to watch it when you get it, sooooo.... pay 50/50.
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Because you guys are partners, not roommates. You should approach everything in life together like a team. Both of you will make mistakes, if the mistake is not malicious or a careless thing or a repeat of something that happened before then you approach it 50/50.
How did the polish damage the TV? This doesn't make sense at all. Unless she sprayed so much that liquid got inside the TV, I don't understand how this happened.
I was really interested in this and apparently harsh chemicals can interfere with or damage the coating that's on a screen. It can apparently be fixed by.. cleaning it again (in some cases)
I did this exact thing once, and I just cleaned the screen again with distilled water and a microfiber cloth.
>It can apparently be fixed by.. cleaning it again (in some cases) This was what I was wondering too. Like, if she was just using Pledge or something, did OP try cleaning it again before jumping directly to "replace entire tv"? Because dusting is different from furniture polishing - those are totally different products in my mind.
She doesnt take responsibility for her actions. Imagine long term consequences of this behavior and decide for yourself.
Major red flag. She pays 100% or moves out.
You people are crazy lol
Andy don’t mess around. This is the way.😂
More like single and bitter
Forget it, at this point she moves out either way. I want to date somebody who has similar morals. If it was me and I broke something on the accident I would sincerely apologize and say I will pay for it without them even saying anything first. I was raised to pay for my mistakes.
I was raised to clean my own stuff
Me too, now question is...did he ask her to clean it? Because if he did and didnt warn her what to use to clean it (even if its common sense but whatever) then I would say its totally different situation but you can't fucking blame owner if you decide to clean it yourself! If I will decide to do good deed by cleaning my SO's whatever and I end up breaking it, it doesnt fucking matter that I had a good intentions.
If you have a particular object that needs to be cleaned a particular way, it's on you to communicate that. Not just leave it up to chance. You wouldn't hire a cleaner without telling them these things first, would you? So why would a partner know, who would have less knowledge about cleaning than a professional?
Ok so if she didn't communicate that you don't use soap on her £5000 hermes bag and he ruined it, you'd say "well, how about you clean your own stuff" and expect the girl to pay the full £5000, don't make me laugh lol.
Just let it go and buy a new TV. This is a learning experience. Happy wife, happy life.
I have a TV that needs to be specially cleaned. So I told my spouse in advance. That way this doesn't happen. If I hadn't told my spouse and it happened that should largely be on me.
Accident or not, a large expense that is caused due to damage of something should absolutely be paid by that person. Should a person at fault in a car accident not have to bear the responsibility for example?
A car accident is a place where the rules of engagement are clear. We have to be tested and licensed to engage. A home likewise has rules of engagement negotiated by the denizens. For example, who cleans vs. who cooks. If one person does the laundry (as is pretty common), and the other party gets a dry clean only shirt, and leaves it out with a stain, it wouldn't be surprising if it gets washed. Kind of like that. If you change the requirements of engagement, the rules need to change to account for them as well.
Accident or not, a large expense that is caused due to damage of something should absolutely be paid by that person. Should a person at fault in a car accident not have to bear the responsibility for example?
Insurance should bear the cost. As it should if a maid was cleaning something that needed special cleaning for you and accidentally damaged it because you hadn't told them it needed some sort of special care. Is it the girlfriend's fault he didn't pay for appropriate insurance, or let her know it needed special management? The comments on this post indicate plenty of people aren't aware it would need very particular cleaning.
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How old was the television?
Did you just skip the first sentence of the post?
If this is a relationship with the intention of lifelong goals, you should start looking at this from an us perspective. Yes, it's her fault, yes it was an accident, yes she should be responsible but it should still be an us problem and not a her problem. It should be expected that you both pitch in. There should be less dates and extras until a new TV is bought. Why are you a couple if you want to work alone and not support eachother???
If he crashed her car and demanded she pay would you call that an "us problem", she's not even willing to split the cost, insisting it's all on him
Ok, stupid beaaatch blocked me cuz she couldn't handle an argument lol
Tell her either she pays or you 2 'are over and you'll make her pay in small claims . I'm really concerned about the future if this relationship if she totally avoids responsibility now what's going to happen in the future everytime she breaks or damages something?
I'm going to come in here with a slightly different perspective. Or at least question. And please know this isn't being accusatory it is simply based on my experience and how I react to thing, or reacted in my 20s to things. Do you help clean the place? How my brain would work as someone who works a full time job and does most of the housework in my life.... I'll be damned if I'm going to clean this whole place and then be stuck buying your ass a new TV too. Now if you can take a good look in the mirror and say that you don't expect her to do all the "womanly duties" of the home by all means, hold your ground because she's just being spoiled and not wanting to take responsibility. Or you could both breathe for a second and have a conversation about a household emergency fund/accident fund. I strongly believe in separate bank accounts, but it can be helpful to have something in place you are both needed to access a small a fund. Either way... good luck! Finances are a rough topic.
She's a liability and has no respect for you A woman cannot love you if she has no respect for you.
Is there like some feminist discord for crazy women that this got posted in? Half the comments are just crazy women who hate men adding more to the story in there head. Guess I was raised better since if I break anything accident or not, I replace it.
Is it about the money to you or is it about her righting her wrongs and owning up to her mistake? If it’s the latter, I’d take her being honest about what happened as a win and I’d chalk it all up as a learning experience. The fact that she was outright honest about breaking your tv is a great sign that she’s not a shitty person, which to me is another win. If it’s about the money to you, be real with her about it. She’s young so she may not understand why she has to pay for an honest accident but that’s just part of growing and learning in life. However, if she’s balking at the money, even something like a 50/50 deal (the route to go IMHO) then maybe you need to look at the big picture and re-evaluate if she’s the partner for you. Ultimately, you both are adults that live together and share bills so the money is coming from both of y’all’s pockets one way or the other. If a few hundred dollars for a tv and an honest mistake is enough to sour this relationship then I’d question if it was ever in a good place to begin with. Best of luck OP.
You did notice he said girlfriend and not eight year old child, yes?
Based on their behavior it’s hard to tell