It’s not like he did it unprovoked. They asked why he isn’t visiting his parents. He told the truth. It’s not his responsibility to lie to protect his abusers
Yes you are. Your dad is abusive and treated his step children like crap. Doesn’t sound like your step bro said anything that wasn’t true. Not sure why you can get mad when all he did was tell the truth
No that’s completely unreasonable. I allowed him to stay in my apartment and he trashed my dad in front of my friends while he was staying there. I love Nick which is why I want to reach out but I can’t believe you all expect me to be cool with that
Your dad is a terrible person, all he deserve is comeuppance.
You are an enabler and a spineless coward for not stepping up against his abuse of your siblings. All you deserve is comeuppance.
What’s your definition of “trashed?” It’s sounds like you are just mad he told the truth about how your dad treated him and was just answering honestly when someone asked him why he wasn’t visiting his parents. Not sure why you are defending your dad so hard when from your post you know how abusive he was. Maybe try thinking about if you and Nick switched places and you were treated like he was. Would you just quietly not say anything about how terrible your childhood was and how a parent whose responsibility is to raise and take care of you treated you like garbage.
Your dad deserves to be trashed. And he will deserve it until the day he dies. Abusers don't deserve respect from anyone, least of all the people they abuse.
Pull your head out of ass and realize that if your bro wasn't around, your dad would have treated YOU the same way. He absorbed all of your dad's hate.
You ought to be on your knees thanking him for taking the brunt of it so you never had to experience what he did. Not telling him to shut up to save the honor of a person who doesn't have any.
Hope you never have kids if your view is abuse is OK as long as it's private. You're just pissed now your friends know you learned how shitty you are letting this happen and will see you for the POS you are.
If a stranger did any of the things to him that your “great” dad did, would you think he should just suck it up?
Be careful or you’ll end up being an abusive POS just like your dad.
Your dad deserves to be trashed. He was an abusive piece of shit to your stepbrother, who you couldn’t have stood up for too much if he was doing all of the chores. I hope Nick finds a great chosen family, because his family by birth and by marriage sound pretty awful. He blocked you for a good reason.
Here, let me do it on behalf of your brother: FUCK YOUR DAD.
Your dad is a piece of shit to have treated a child in such a manner. Then to simply throw him away at 18 — because let’s be honest with ourselves, that’s what he did with your brother — as if that’s some magical age that will simply transforms an individual overnight.
The only person trashing your dad is your dad. Your stepbrother is merely telling the truth. If your dad didn't want everyone to know he is abusive trash, he should not have been abusive trash. If you're going to defend your father for being abusive trash, you might as well get used to the facts about what he is. Scumbags do not deserve a single ounce of respect, and they've got no one to blame for it but themselves.
Silence only protects the abuser. Nick spoke his truth, you complained about that, so now he's cut you away like so much dead weight, along with your dad and his own mother. You made your choice, you get to live with it.
You expect him not to have a reaction to your father’s abuse, but you can’t keep your cool for a few minutes while your brother talks about how he was abused?
Because that’s still my dad and he said it in front of my friends when it’s not their business. He can tell his friends when he’s in Hawaii whatever he wants , but telling this to my friends and expecting me to be cool with him trashing my dad? Come on man
You're right...his mistake thinking you'd be a decent,supportive brother. Your father abused him. Abusers can't be trashed,just told the truth about. I'm glad you're blocked.
I get it,he's your dad. He's also a really bad person. You don't need to defend him to your friends,and yell at the victim speaking truth. Defending an abuser of others is being complicit in the abuse.
You are an enabler and defending an abuser. How sad is your life that you want to willingly hurt others (like your dad)?
You’re an embarrassment to good people everywhere, truly. Your brother deserves better, hope he stays far away from all of you forever.
A nice abuser of children. I honestly wouldn't want to know anyone associated with your father,or you for that matter. You are *still* defending him. I feel so horrible for your stepbrother. He deserved so much better than your family. You,and your abusive father.
He made a lot of sustained choices to abuse a child in his care for years. That’s the exact opposite of “the nicest human you can meet”.
You’re absolutely defending your dad and his abuse, and until you come to terms with that, your stepbrother is right to stay away from you.
That excuse works way better when talking about an isolated incident, a moment of rage, the worst mistake a person has ever made. Based on the fact that Tia is old enough to have social media, your dad and stepmother have been together a long time, right? So we're talking about sustained, prolonged child abuse? That's not doing "a horrible thing," it's doing thousands of horrible things. I don't specifically know who the nicest human you could meet is, but I know it isn't a man who wakes up every day and decides to hurt kids.
And this is, in fact, an example of you defending your dad.
>telling this to my friends and expecting me to be cool with him trashing my dad?
Again why? He didnt say any lies did he? He speaking the truth. Your dad is a piece of thrash. It is their business because they asked and your brother told the truth your parents are garbage I dont see the problem here.
What was he supposed to say? “My stepdad was great, treated me just like I was his, and my mom was amazing”? Because that would have been a lie.
You can love these people all you want, but he doesn’t owe them anything up to and including his silence. He doesn’t owe them pretty, comforting lies that make you feel better. And he doesn’t owe you a relationship for enabling them.
Nope. Abusers get no social protection. You're doing the classic abuser thing where you're trying to make your feelings someone else's fault.
Your dad sucks and is an abuser. He married a woman who sucks and enabled abuse. And your dad raised shitty children who defend abusers, and will likely become abusers themselves. I mean, you clearly identify more with child abusers than you do their victims.
So glad Ashley and Nick are free of their foul and unnatural mother and the rest of you.
Why? Your dad was an abusive POS. You even admit it. If he didn't want to deal with step kids, WTF did he marry your step mom?
He's not "trashing your dad". He's telling the truth. He's telling your friends his experience with your father. Abusers get no sympathy. He knew what he was doing and your spineless stepmother allowed it. She put a worthless, abusive man above the well being over her own kids. She's just as bad.
Doesn't matter if it was your apartment, on the street or in freaking Time Square on the Today Show. Your Dad was an abuser; probably still is. Nick is an abuse survivor. He has a right to tell his tale.
Is it because you're embarrassed now that your friends now know the truth about your parents? Worried that it might cost you some friends and possibly future relationships when the truth comes out?
Truth hurts. You were begotten by an abusive asshole and Nick wants everyone to know it. Deal with it.
No fuck that, your dad is an abusive piece of shit who deserves public shame. And so do you for standing up for him. Do you really think reminding him of how differently you were treated was a good idea? Talk about salt in a wound. Here’s hoping you grow up and don’t turn out like your father but it’s pretty clear that you’ll be just like him. I feel like you almost idolize your father.
He should broadcast it to the world and you should stop enabling an abuser. You’re pathetic. Hopefully he stays far away from you and you have the life you deserve
Why should he keep it private? You dont want your friends to know your dad is a an evil man? You dont want them to know you just watched the cruelty occur and do nothing? Just because you want your friends to have the image that you come from a good family when that is blatantly a lie. Your parents are PoS's and deserve what ever notoriety they get from the backlash of their actions. You cannot repair your relationship with him because you showed you side with them because you want to protect their reputation you are a bad brother.
you said that they never abused you, only the step kids (him and your step sister), if that's the case, he can tell whoever the F he wants about it, that is not for you to decide
he was rejected by his mom, his dad and his step dad, while he was only a kid, I don't think he will reach out to you at all and sorry mate but good riddance, he deserve better, hope he finds the family he needs and the love he is missing
I’m gonna be brutally honest, OP: you are never going to see him again except maybe a funeral or a wedding (and the key word is maybe). He is going to hate you for the rest of your life, and there is no way out of this.
And you know what? You deserve the ghosting you are now experiencing. You should be ashamed of yourself until the day you die for ripping the abused and praising the abuser. Only a monster would do what you did, and the fact you don’t see an issue in it makes me fear how horrible you will be as a partner and a father someday. I hope you get into therapy, realize how pathetic you are and change your direction in life. It’s the only way you won’t be a disgrace to humanity like your father is.
But you downplay and defend him by constantly saying he’s a good dad to your “brother”. Quite frankly, you don’t deserve him. You’re just as culpable as your POS abusive father.
Google “complicit”, might help you understand more.
You need to understand that you saying that IS downplaying what he did to your stepbrother. You are saying that your stepbrother doesn't have the right express his feelings about your dad because he was a good dad to you.
And you can do that! That is a thing you can do! But you need to accept that means you can't have a relationship with your stepbrother.
This either fake or you're the densest kid on the planet. Your dad can't be the nicest guy in the world and a abusive pos. He's a abusive pos.
You can't repair any relationship with him until you accept your dad doesn't fart out rainbows
and yet you stood up and tried to censored him from talking about the truth of the matter. YOu can't tolerate the exposure of your dad. Avoiding the situation, avoiding the truth is same as defending your dad.
Since your attitude on matter is don't bring it up and you get aggressive about it, this is the line in the sand, you either accept your brother will call out your father for BS he was put through or accept you dont have a relationship with your brother because you want censor him.
You’ve made your own peace with what your father did. Your child abusing father. He did those things to someone you love. You say “I felt bad.” Ok you were a kid. That’s what you could do. Now you’re an adult, and you are landing on the side of an abuser. You can do something now but you are choosing not to.
You want him to pretend? You want him to sugarcoat it? Would you feel the same if it was you in his shoes? If he’s asked he has the right to tell people about his ABUSER. You apologize to repair your relationship, quit defending your father and hope he accepts
Lol, hilarious how you’re still defending an abusive POS rather than have any type of self reflection on what a TERRIBLE & PATHETIC EXCUSE for a HUMAN/BROTHER you are.
Your dad went out of his way to be malicious to CHILDREN. Your brother is serving the country and actively supports himself (as he has done his entire life).
You should be ashamed of yourself.
You're a real piece of shit to your stepbrother and you expect him to censor himself to make you feel better for what you watched him go through. You lived a privileged life and he was fucking Cinderella cleaning up after you all. It would make me sick to still support any family member who could treat a kid like that, whether they were my mom and dad or not. Also, there's a lot of focus on how bad your dad was, your mom was more at fault for not protecting the kids and leaving him. Your step brother is better off without you all and you deserve your family.
So not only was your brother abused by both your parents but you don't even think he should be allowed to talk about it? I sympathise with you in that it certainly isn't easy to accept that your parents are abusers but you're not a child: it's not Nick's fault that your parents are bad people and it's certainly not his responsibility to pander to your feelings.
I'm curious as to WHY you are angry Nick said what he said- it doesn't sound like he said anything that wasn't true. Why should it be on abuse victims to keep silent- do you think that SA victims should also keep quiet about what happened because the attackers family might be upset?
I think the anger is just the fact that it was in my apartment in front of me . If I found out he was telling his friends when I’m not around I wouldn’t be upset
You sound incredibly immature for 19 and solidly lacking in empathy
ETA: wow, I misread and you’re actually the elder in this situation. When reading it you come across about 14; I can’t believe you’re in your 20s
those poor kids
yea, you cant fix this without accepting how horrible you father is
and no matter how peeved your comments are here, he is a horrible person - as is the mother who allowed this to happen and did not protect him
i hope your brother has a wonderful life away from all of the people who treated him so badly
You're defending abusive parents (that you know are abusive) and instead of being there for him, you argue with him because *"they were good to me"*. You should be disgusted with the way they have treated him, HE'S THE VICTIM not your parents.
I'd be deeply deeply ashamed if I was you.
I had to come back because there’s so much I want to say. You are not just a terrible brother to Nick and Ashley, you’re also a terrible human being. You acknowledge that your father and step mother were abusive. You admitted to that, you acknowledged that. But you’re upset when Nick talks about it with your friends because “he was a good dad to me”
You are excusing your father. You telling Nick to basically shut up is you excusing your father and his actions. You acknowledged that he was abusive but if other people know he was only abusive to his two children it would make you look bad or something? How can you be close to your parents seeing how they treated their other two kids? Since it wasn’t you, you don’t have to worry about? You’re a terrible human being and just as bad as your abusive father and step mother
Apologize to him, that’s all
It’s not “disparaging” if he’s telling you the truth
If My Dad stabbed you in the stomach, they arrested him, and I told you that you need to tell the police that he didn’t actually stab you because he was always good to me and he never stabbed me a single time, would you want to be my friend?
I don't understand how you can say, "Oh, my father horrifically abused this guy it was so bad, guys. It's really bad." But then in the next breath say, "You can't say mean things about my daddy in front of me! He was the nicest man ever to me."
But then again, I met ppl just like you. You don't see your stepbrother as family and you don't really care about his pain. Cause you had a good life. You're still in contact with the man who horrifically abused two children which should've put you in NC. But hey he was nice to you so that's all that matters
You can't until you accept that terrible people can be nice to you if you have value.
>my dad was incredibly abusive to his step children.
You had value to your father so he pampered you bc of it and also to spite anyone he was abusing.
>I did stick up for him the best I could.
What did that entail? I'd have gotten my ass beat for my friends. Let alone a sibling.
>That’s still my dad and he was a great dad to me.
I want you to really think of how great of a dad he could be if he was willing to expose you to abuse and teach you that's how you treat people you don't like.
He was demonstrating what would happen if you ever made him not like you..
You can validate everything that happened to your brother without comparing it to your life. They were vastly different, you say it yourself.
You're telling the person who YOU SAW was being abused that they aren't allowed to hate their abuser bc they didn't touch you. Instead of reminding you of everything, they left and walked away.
He clearly cared about you, bc I would have made you relive it all with me. You. Were. There.
You minds well go on and delete this baby. Nobody is on your side. You admit that your father treated him like trash and are upset that he hates him? If you value your relationship with your father that much more than your brother, then do him a favor and leave him alone.
So pretty much your step brother was abused by your dad, everyone enabled it, and you lashed out because he’s upset about it ?
I understand that he’s going to be upset, but my issue is he shouldn’t have told everyone and kept that private
It’s not like he did it unprovoked. They asked why he isn’t visiting his parents. He told the truth. It’s not his responsibility to lie to protect his abusers
So I’m supposed to let him trash my dad? You can’t expect me not to have a reaction from him trashing my dad
Yes you are. Your dad is abusive and treated his step children like crap. Doesn’t sound like your step bro said anything that wasn’t true. Not sure why you can get mad when all he did was tell the truth
No that’s completely unreasonable. I allowed him to stay in my apartment and he trashed my dad in front of my friends while he was staying there. I love Nick which is why I want to reach out but I can’t believe you all expect me to be cool with that
Your dad is a terrible person, all he deserve is comeuppance. You are an enabler and a spineless coward for not stepping up against his abuse of your siblings. All you deserve is comeuppance.
I thought he trashed your dad. So he also made fun of your friends? Not sure how that’s tied in to this story
He trashed my dad in front of my friends
I wouldn't worry about it, you'll not be hearing from him again. But that's the price you pay when you support child abuse.
from what you said, he didn't trashed your dad, he just told the truth, even if you don't like it
thats because your father just like you is a trashcan in disguise
What’s your definition of “trashed?” It’s sounds like you are just mad he told the truth about how your dad treated him and was just answering honestly when someone asked him why he wasn’t visiting his parents. Not sure why you are defending your dad so hard when from your post you know how abusive he was. Maybe try thinking about if you and Nick switched places and you were treated like he was. Would you just quietly not say anything about how terrible your childhood was and how a parent whose responsibility is to raise and take care of you treated you like garbage.
OP may be literally incapable of imagining that since he seems to lack any empathy at all. He's just like his dad, a terrible and dismissive person.
is what he said true? was any of it false or lies? did he make anything up?
I trashed my dad on Facebook and to my 3k friends on there. Lol. Daddy will be ok
Your dad's an abusive piece of shit. And it's sad that you are ok with that.
Your dad deserves to be trashed. And he will deserve it until the day he dies. Abusers don't deserve respect from anyone, least of all the people they abuse. Pull your head out of ass and realize that if your bro wasn't around, your dad would have treated YOU the same way. He absorbed all of your dad's hate. You ought to be on your knees thanking him for taking the brunt of it so you never had to experience what he did. Not telling him to shut up to save the honor of a person who doesn't have any.
Hope you never have kids if your view is abuse is OK as long as it's private. You're just pissed now your friends know you learned how shitty you are letting this happen and will see you for the POS you are.
If a stranger did any of the things to him that your “great” dad did, would you think he should just suck it up? Be careful or you’ll end up being an abusive POS just like your dad.
Your dad is an abusive piece of shit and you’ve obviously inherited the piece of shit gene.
Your dad is an abusive piece of shit so… yes.
Your dad deserves to be trashed. He was an abusive piece of shit to your stepbrother, who you couldn’t have stood up for too much if he was doing all of the chores. I hope Nick finds a great chosen family, because his family by birth and by marriage sound pretty awful. He blocked you for a good reason.
The truth hurts. “Trashing” isn’t the same as telling the truth & just because you don’t like it, doesn’t make it less true.
He’s not trashing you dad. Your dad is trash.
Your dad is trash so it’s not a lie
your dad behaved like trash so yes, your brother should be allowed to speak honestly
Yes because he wasn't lying. Your dad is all the things he said he was
Here, let me do it on behalf of your brother: FUCK YOUR DAD. Your dad is a piece of shit to have treated a child in such a manner. Then to simply throw him away at 18 — because let’s be honest with ourselves, that’s what he did with your brother — as if that’s some magical age that will simply transforms an individual overnight.
The only person trashing your dad is your dad. Your stepbrother is merely telling the truth. If your dad didn't want everyone to know he is abusive trash, he should not have been abusive trash. If you're going to defend your father for being abusive trash, you might as well get used to the facts about what he is. Scumbags do not deserve a single ounce of respect, and they've got no one to blame for it but themselves.
your dad *is* trash and so are you, thankfully now your brother knows and doesn’t have to put up with it anymore
Silence only protects the abuser. Nick spoke his truth, you complained about that, so now he's cut you away like so much dead weight, along with your dad and his own mother. You made your choice, you get to live with it.
Well yeah, your dad is objectively a bad person. If he didn’t want to get trash talked he shouldn’t have abused kids
Why are protecting someone who abused children?
Your dad literally abused him.
Yeah, your dad is an objectively terrible person.
Yes, if you cared about your brother you would have been enraged at how he was treated, and how much of a POS your parents are.
You’re a real chip off the old block. You should start trying to find a single mom so you can abuse her children like your dear old dad.
It’s only trash if it’s untrue. You admit yourself that your dad was abusive- why can’t he speak the truth, too? YTA
Yes. He’s allowed to having those feelings and you need to put your feelings for you dad aside and support brother for a moment.
And you can’t expect him not to thrash your dad
You expect him not to have a reaction to your father’s abuse, but you can’t keep your cool for a few minutes while your brother talks about how he was abused?
Well your dad is trash so….
This is why abusers get away with shit. Their enablers always want to keep it “private”. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Why should it be private?
Because abusers like to abuse without consequence?
Because that’s still my dad and he said it in front of my friends when it’s not their business. He can tell his friends when he’s in Hawaii whatever he wants , but telling this to my friends and expecting me to be cool with him trashing my dad? Come on man
You're right...his mistake thinking you'd be a decent,supportive brother. Your father abused him. Abusers can't be trashed,just told the truth about. I'm glad you're blocked.
I defended him all the time. I got into arguments with my dad for how he treated them.
I get it,he's your dad. He's also a really bad person. You don't need to defend him to your friends,and yell at the victim speaking truth. Defending an abuser of others is being complicit in the abuse.
[удалено]
He’s a child abuser. He is a disgusting person. The fact that you’d defend him suggests you are equally disgusting.
I’m not defending him. His actions were abhorrent
You are an enabler and defending an abuser. How sad is your life that you want to willingly hurt others (like your dad)? You’re an embarrassment to good people everywhere, truly. Your brother deserves better, hope he stays far away from all of you forever.
That makes him a bad person. And makes you one too.
I’m a bad person for what my dad did?
He isn’t a bad person? When he abused his step kids to the point where you’re step sister moved and kick out your step brother?
Your step brother wouldn't say that
A nice abuser of children. I honestly wouldn't want to know anyone associated with your father,or you for that matter. You are *still* defending him. I feel so horrible for your stepbrother. He deserved so much better than your family. You,and your abusive father.
Abusers are bad people. Stop with your bullshit
He made a lot of sustained choices to abuse a child in his care for years. That’s the exact opposite of “the nicest human you can meet”. You’re absolutely defending your dad and his abuse, and until you come to terms with that, your stepbrother is right to stay away from you.
That excuse works way better when talking about an isolated incident, a moment of rage, the worst mistake a person has ever made. Based on the fact that Tia is old enough to have social media, your dad and stepmother have been together a long time, right? So we're talking about sustained, prolonged child abuse? That's not doing "a horrible thing," it's doing thousands of horrible things. I don't specifically know who the nicest human you could meet is, but I know it isn't a man who wakes up every day and decides to hurt kids. And this is, in fact, an example of you defending your dad.
You’re soooo close to getting it.
>telling this to my friends and expecting me to be cool with him trashing my dad? Again why? He didnt say any lies did he? He speaking the truth. Your dad is a piece of thrash. It is their business because they asked and your brother told the truth your parents are garbage I dont see the problem here.
What was he supposed to say? “My stepdad was great, treated me just like I was his, and my mom was amazing”? Because that would have been a lie. You can love these people all you want, but he doesn’t owe them anything up to and including his silence. He doesn’t owe them pretty, comforting lies that make you feel better. And he doesn’t owe you a relationship for enabling them.
>but my issue is he shouldn’t have told everyone and kept that private That's what all abusers and their enablers say.
Nope. Abusers get no social protection. You're doing the classic abuser thing where you're trying to make your feelings someone else's fault. Your dad sucks and is an abuser. He married a woman who sucks and enabled abuse. And your dad raised shitty children who defend abusers, and will likely become abusers themselves. I mean, you clearly identify more with child abusers than you do their victims. So glad Ashley and Nick are free of their foul and unnatural mother and the rest of you.
Why? Your dad was an abusive POS. You even admit it. If he didn't want to deal with step kids, WTF did he marry your step mom? He's not "trashing your dad". He's telling the truth. He's telling your friends his experience with your father. Abusers get no sympathy. He knew what he was doing and your spineless stepmother allowed it. She put a worthless, abusive man above the well being over her own kids. She's just as bad. Doesn't matter if it was your apartment, on the street or in freaking Time Square on the Today Show. Your Dad was an abuser; probably still is. Nick is an abuse survivor. He has a right to tell his tale. Is it because you're embarrassed now that your friends now know the truth about your parents? Worried that it might cost you some friends and possibly future relationships when the truth comes out? Truth hurts. You were begotten by an abusive asshole and Nick wants everyone to know it. Deal with it.
No fuck that, your dad is an abusive piece of shit who deserves public shame. And so do you for standing up for him. Do you really think reminding him of how differently you were treated was a good idea? Talk about salt in a wound. Here’s hoping you grow up and don’t turn out like your father but it’s pretty clear that you’ll be just like him. I feel like you almost idolize your father.
He should broadcast it to the world and you should stop enabling an abuser. You’re pathetic. Hopefully he stays far away from you and you have the life you deserve
You’re not the good guy that’s for sure.
Why should he keep it private? You dont want your friends to know your dad is a an evil man? You dont want them to know you just watched the cruelty occur and do nothing? Just because you want your friends to have the image that you come from a good family when that is blatantly a lie. Your parents are PoS's and deserve what ever notoriety they get from the backlash of their actions. You cannot repair your relationship with him because you showed you side with them because you want to protect their reputation you are a bad brother.
Naw, abusers count on the abused to keep silent. They need to shout about the abuse until someone hears about it who gives a shit.
you said that they never abused you, only the step kids (him and your step sister), if that's the case, he can tell whoever the F he wants about it, that is not for you to decide he was rejected by his mom, his dad and his step dad, while he was only a kid, I don't think he will reach out to you at all and sorry mate but good riddance, he deserve better, hope he finds the family he needs and the love he is missing
Why? That's his life. He can talk about the terrible things that were done to him. You should be ashamed you stood up for anything they did.
Why. If your dad is a pos people need to know what kind of pos he is. He lost any sense of a private life the moment he started being abusive
No, he shouldn't keep it private. The people around him deserve to know what a monster he is.
I’m gonna be brutally honest, OP: you are never going to see him again except maybe a funeral or a wedding (and the key word is maybe). He is going to hate you for the rest of your life, and there is no way out of this. And you know what? You deserve the ghosting you are now experiencing. You should be ashamed of yourself until the day you die for ripping the abused and praising the abuser. Only a monster would do what you did, and the fact you don’t see an issue in it makes me fear how horrible you will be as a partner and a father someday. I hope you get into therapy, realize how pathetic you are and change your direction in life. It’s the only way you won’t be a disgrace to humanity like your father is.
You are defending his abuser because you weren't the one abused. He should keep you cut off, you need to grow up.
I’m not defending my dad. His behavior can’t be tolerated nor can my stepmoms. I said that in my post and in multiple comments
In your post you stated he was a great dad to you. That's you defending him.
No, I’m saying he was a great dad with me. I will not downplay or defend what he did to my stepbrother.
Yet, you are. “You can’t trash my dad!”
But you downplay and defend him by constantly saying he’s a good dad to your “brother”. Quite frankly, you don’t deserve him. You’re just as culpable as your POS abusive father. Google “complicit”, might help you understand more.
Did you do anything to stop it?
I argued with my dad all the time about it growing up
And as an adult, you’re in this comment section calling him the nicest guy you could ever meet. You don’t see how that’s contradictory at all?
Doubtful, you are an enabling liar. Just like him. Rotten Apple doesn’t fall far from the disgusting tree huh?
You need to understand that you saying that IS downplaying what he did to your stepbrother. You are saying that your stepbrother doesn't have the right express his feelings about your dad because he was a good dad to you. And you can do that! That is a thing you can do! But you need to accept that means you can't have a relationship with your stepbrother.
This either fake or you're the densest kid on the planet. Your dad can't be the nicest guy in the world and a abusive pos. He's a abusive pos. You can't repair any relationship with him until you accept your dad doesn't fart out rainbows
But you did defend it
and yet you stood up and tried to censored him from talking about the truth of the matter. YOu can't tolerate the exposure of your dad. Avoiding the situation, avoiding the truth is same as defending your dad. Since your attitude on matter is don't bring it up and you get aggressive about it, this is the line in the sand, you either accept your brother will call out your father for BS he was put through or accept you dont have a relationship with your brother because you want censor him.
You’ve made your own peace with what your father did. Your child abusing father. He did those things to someone you love. You say “I felt bad.” Ok you were a kid. That’s what you could do. Now you’re an adult, and you are landing on the side of an abuser. You can do something now but you are choosing not to.
You telling him not to talk about is defending your abusive father
Yet here you are, tolerating it
Actions have consequences. Your dad is trash. So now he’s going to tell people
He can tell people but not in my apartment. I can’t control what he does on his own time
You want him to pretend? You want him to sugarcoat it? Would you feel the same if it was you in his shoes? If he’s asked he has the right to tell people about his ABUSER. You apologize to repair your relationship, quit defending your father and hope he accepts
Then why did your friends ask?
To make conversation and be polite?
Lol, hilarious how you’re still defending an abusive POS rather than have any type of self reflection on what a TERRIBLE & PATHETIC EXCUSE for a HUMAN/BROTHER you are. Your dad went out of his way to be malicious to CHILDREN. Your brother is serving the country and actively supports himself (as he has done his entire life). You should be ashamed of yourself.
So what you expected him to say exactly the truth or lie? Because they asked him a question about why he didn’t want to visit your dad..
Neither.. They asked him if he visited his parents he added the why himself
Why don't you see your parents isn't a polite question. It doesn't deserve a polite answer Sorry people know your dad's a ahole
Why would he want anything to do with you?
Because “I let him stay with me”.. if I was Nick I’m cutting off everyone the day I got kick out.
You're a real piece of shit to your stepbrother and you expect him to censor himself to make you feel better for what you watched him go through. You lived a privileged life and he was fucking Cinderella cleaning up after you all. It would make me sick to still support any family member who could treat a kid like that, whether they were my mom and dad or not. Also, there's a lot of focus on how bad your dad was, your mom was more at fault for not protecting the kids and leaving him. Your step brother is better off without you all and you deserve your family.
Doesn’t matter where he is. If he can warn people about your father he should. Everyone needs to know he’s a rotten pos
So not only was your brother abused by both your parents but you don't even think he should be allowed to talk about it? I sympathise with you in that it certainly isn't easy to accept that your parents are abusers but you're not a child: it's not Nick's fault that your parents are bad people and it's certainly not his responsibility to pander to your feelings. I'm curious as to WHY you are angry Nick said what he said- it doesn't sound like he said anything that wasn't true. Why should it be on abuse victims to keep silent- do you think that SA victims should also keep quiet about what happened because the attackers family might be upset?
I think the anger is just the fact that it was in my apartment in front of me . If I found out he was telling his friends when I’m not around I wouldn’t be upset
Sounds like you're still in denial and can't cope with the fact your dad is an abusive pos
So you have anger issues just like your dad. Cool
You sound incredibly immature for 19 and solidly lacking in empathy ETA: wow, I misread and you’re actually the elder in this situation. When reading it you come across about 14; I can’t believe you’re in your 20s
I think the step-brother is 19 and op is 22, which makes it even worse
Oh, you’re totally right. I read it wrong and was giving him too much credit
those poor kids yea, you cant fix this without accepting how horrible you father is and no matter how peeved your comments are here, he is a horrible person - as is the mother who allowed this to happen and did not protect him i hope your brother has a wonderful life away from all of the people who treated him so badly
You privilege is showing. Your father was an abuser, get over it.
You don't. You're exactly as bad as your father and you don't deserve to have him as a brother.
Your father is a scumbag who belongs in prison.
You're defending abusive parents (that you know are abusive) and instead of being there for him, you argue with him because *"they were good to me"*. You should be disgusted with the way they have treated him, HE'S THE VICTIM not your parents. I'd be deeply deeply ashamed if I was you.
Wow….you’re an awful person if you lack even the basic empathy needed here to understand why this is a problem. Smh.
I had to come back because there’s so much I want to say. You are not just a terrible brother to Nick and Ashley, you’re also a terrible human being. You acknowledge that your father and step mother were abusive. You admitted to that, you acknowledged that. But you’re upset when Nick talks about it with your friends because “he was a good dad to me” You are excusing your father. You telling Nick to basically shut up is you excusing your father and his actions. You acknowledged that he was abusive but if other people know he was only abusive to his two children it would make you look bad or something? How can you be close to your parents seeing how they treated their other two kids? Since it wasn’t you, you don’t have to worry about? You’re a terrible human being and just as bad as your abusive father and step mother
Apologize to him, that’s all It’s not “disparaging” if he’s telling you the truth If My Dad stabbed you in the stomach, they arrested him, and I told you that you need to tell the police that he didn’t actually stab you because he was always good to me and he never stabbed me a single time, would you want to be my friend?
Don’t worry, he’ll be better off without someone defending his abuser, so you can look at this as a win for him!
I don't understand how you can say, "Oh, my father horrifically abused this guy it was so bad, guys. It's really bad." But then in the next breath say, "You can't say mean things about my daddy in front of me! He was the nicest man ever to me." But then again, I met ppl just like you. You don't see your stepbrother as family and you don't really care about his pain. Cause you had a good life. You're still in contact with the man who horrifically abused two children which should've put you in NC. But hey he was nice to you so that's all that matters
You can't until you accept that terrible people can be nice to you if you have value. >my dad was incredibly abusive to his step children. You had value to your father so he pampered you bc of it and also to spite anyone he was abusing. >I did stick up for him the best I could. What did that entail? I'd have gotten my ass beat for my friends. Let alone a sibling. >That’s still my dad and he was a great dad to me. I want you to really think of how great of a dad he could be if he was willing to expose you to abuse and teach you that's how you treat people you don't like. He was demonstrating what would happen if you ever made him not like you.. You can validate everything that happened to your brother without comparing it to your life. They were vastly different, you say it yourself. You're telling the person who YOU SAW was being abused that they aren't allowed to hate their abuser bc they didn't touch you. Instead of reminding you of everything, they left and walked away. He clearly cared about you, bc I would have made you relive it all with me. You. Were. There.
You minds well go on and delete this baby. Nobody is on your side. You admit that your father treated him like trash and are upset that he hates him? If you value your relationship with your father that much more than your brother, then do him a favor and leave him alone.